Many of us were brought up as existing without being included. We were there but not important as thinking, feeling entities with needs to be known. No one thought we had opinions or questions. It was like they thought we weren't aware of what was going on around us. Our bodies were clothed and fed while our most important needs were ignored. They didn't know we had feelings, reactions, confusion. They didn't know that we needed them to be interested in who we were. They didn't see children as more than obligations that complicated their difficult lives.

@theecocatlady7605

11 ай бұрын

"They didn't see children as more than obligations that complicated their difficult lives." That about sums it up, doesn't it?

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

Sadly, you have perfectly captured the experience of the CEN child. Thank you for sharing.

@elliewegman1846

10 ай бұрын

Dear Nancy Bartley 4610. I have just copied your entire transcript into my journal. It is so real and the child cries out, 'you understand '!! The tragedy is they will never know these things. Go no contact (23yrs my 5 siblings) and you will, as usual, be the one at fault for abandoning them. I'm 73, live in Aotearoa (NZ) still trying to come to grips with the legacy of this treatment. I'm in counselling, and unhappy with my therapist, who devalues what I say, by HER experiences, which are more valid it seems. I know far more about her than I want to. It's like a bad conversation of one-upmanship. She thinks at my age I should just leave it be. Not just devalued, but once again left out. Not valid. Not important. You open yourself and when vulnerable the snake strikes. I do wonder. Maybe my life of isolation is as good as it gets, but I can't quite believe that. I could have 20 more years whilst the younger entitled ones may not. I pray to the Lord for guidance. I'm pretty sick of the pettiness and systemic jealousy of all I have managed to achieve. It's so terribly sad.

@nancybartley4610

10 ай бұрын

@@elliewegman1846 Please fire your therapist immediately. She should not be competing with you. I will not address the rest of what is wrong with how she is treating you. There are a lot of therapists that should not be therapists. Unfortunate, but 100% true. It isn't easy to find a therapist who understands and knows how to treat it. I am going to post some videos for you by Dr. Ramani. They are the ones that describe my childhood perfectly. If you experienced childhood emotional neglect, it is the most difficult to suffer because it isn't blatant abuse. Jay Reid and Patrick Teahan are also excellent, if you have not found them yet on YT. My best to you. Those 20+ years should be wonderful and could be. We have to fight.

@nancybartley4610

10 ай бұрын

@@elliewegman1846 kzread.info/dash/bejne/qXl627qBgKS8o9I.html

Not only do CEN children not get their feelings noticed and the feelings recognized, I grew up with so much stoic emotional neglect, I learned to block these feelings so as not to show them to the world, so no one would even know I was struggling. I remember even doing this as early as age 4. Crying on the inside but showing a happy face to the world and family.

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

I'm so sad for that little child you once were, and I know that many will identify with your lived experience. I hope you will now work on accepting your feelings, owning and value and using them. Your feelings deserve to be valued and listened to, as do you.

@rhodatuckey7119

10 ай бұрын

You deserved so, so much better. Your parents knew better but did not care...selfish and narcissistic people!

@luanneneill2877

10 ай бұрын

⁠@@rhodatuckey7119How do you know the parents knew better, but didn’t care?!? It seems to me that if they grew up the same way, they would just be imitating what they learned and wouldn’t know better.

@rhodatuckey7119

10 ай бұрын

@@luanneneill2877 My mother had a Master's Degree and sat in church every Sunday but did not want to learn God's Way. I asked her one time why she was so faithful in church going only to come home and live like hell the rest of the week. She told me the music comforted her. She never said to worship The Lord. She never said she loved Jesus. When we become adults we put away childish things. We are to listen and obey The Lord. God wants us to live obedient and holy lives in response to His free gift of salvation to us. We are to continually learn and always pick the higher way. Jesus says, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." We WILL BE held accountable. No one will stand before God with excuses. The bible says man (or woman) is without excuse. All these things that have been talked about are very serious. There is no hiding or running away or blaming with God. We WILL answer for our own actions. THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE KNOW BETTER. DON'T THINK THEY ARE HELPLESS. This family curse STOPS with me. Praise God both my parents are dead. I am 70 years old. May you see the truth of what I am saying to you. There is a better way. Choose the better way.

@nancybartley4610

8 ай бұрын

@deepthinkersclub Love your name.

Standing in front of my messy desk, I picked up my phone and just entered this question "Why do I neglect myself so much? WOW, to my surprise what I was experiencing was a REAL THING! Dr. Jonice Webb was talking about childhood emotional neglect. I I took the questionnaire and Bought her book. Emotional neglect really is invisible and you can overcome it but how do you deal with something you can't put your finger on? Thank you very much Dr. Webb, I appreciate all your research and support in helping others. What a God-send. All I can say is Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Martha

@angelakenyon7490

11 ай бұрын

🙏

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

I'm so glad you have found answers! Now you can move forward and heal.

I’m 57 yrs old woman - for years I was told I think too much, children should be seen and not heard, narcissistic parents from show business dare not be out of the spotlight. I’ve felt the embarrassment my divorced parents feel about “what will the neighbors think of our overly sensitive child and how will I be perceived. Bullied since childhood, betrayed for my “weakness”’, I get bad anxiety and hold my breath when I’m panicky. An alcoholic before 18 is the only way I felt somewhat normal. Often when walking past a lot of people I always wished I could just disappear. Perhaps the humility of all th beauty pageants my mom put me in to cure me were agonizing for me. Always being judged to this day. I just learned about narcissists and my eyes have been opened as I now am aware I sought out narcissistic friends and lovers to be strong because I felt so damaged. You have just unlocked the mystery for me thank you!

@sarahtara5546

19 күн бұрын

❤

Everything discussed in this video resonates with me. All of these dynamics existed in my home as a child. For me it was compounded by a raw parental favortitism for an older sibling. Voila !! I was invisible.

@theecocatlady7605

11 ай бұрын

Oh yeah... my older brother could do no wrong. But you know, I think part of it was that he was just totally dead inside, so he never made them face any emotions. Seeing how emotionally crippled he is now, I wouldn't change places with him for anything in the world.

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

Sibling favoritism is an example of active emotional neglect. I hope that now you are your own favorite person, as you should be.

Yes, I experienced emotional neglect and deprivation. My dad was severely abused as a child by his rageful, alcoholic father. My father became an alcoholic too and was consistently drunk and/or incapacitated to show up for my mom or us kids. He did earn a living despite his alcoholism. My mom was miserable with him but felt she had no chance for survival on her own with 3 kids, no family, no resources within herself or outside herself. So she stayed with my dad for 20 years. She was intensely frustrated, angry, bitter, resentful and took it out on us kids. By the time I was in my teens she was deeply depressed, withdrawn and drugged up. We were a military family so moved frequently and had no connection to extended family or a consistent community. The kindest people were our school teachers but we moved so much that there were no adults in our lives but an alcoholic father and a withdrawn depressed mother who could not express love, warmth, affection. My mom had no capacity for maternal warmth or personal intimacy. Yikes what a nightmare. It is truly amazing how we, humans can adapt to our circumstances and grop toward the light. As an adult I notice that I have more men friends in my life than close women friends. I feel like I have such a back logue of unmet needs from childhood, the need for mothering, and that I can never let my guard down or I will dissolve into a needy little child which might scare or repulse everyone. So I keep a distance and develop relationships very slowly and attempt to grow in a kind of relative isolation. Yet I'm a teacher of young children and considered very patient, loving and nurturing with them. I gravitate toward nurturing men but so many of the men I've been involved with didn't seem to have the ability for emotional intimacy so we drifted apart. Right now I'm working on building community, connection and friendships but it's not easy coming out of the pandemic. I have learned how to enjoy day to day life and make it as rich and fulfilling as I can with lots of walks in nature, love of animals, dancing with groups, singing, many interests that are alive. I have a rich sense of self just learning how to bring people in closer in a healthy way. I'm learning how to express my boundaries but I tend to suppress and then over do it in a too intense way because it's hard for me. I feel like I've had so little intimate, personal guidance or mentoring. I have done therapy off and on. Before the pandemic I had a wonderful elderly therapist who specialized in develpmental trauma recovery. She gave so freely of her time and died midway through the pandemic.

Extremes of this can lead to imposter syndrome in adulthood. I had obvious trauma events in High School and clearly verbalized my distress to my mother and teachers, but it was dismissed and ignored. I had nightmares my entire adult life of screaming and pleading with my mother to hear me but in the dream she would smile smugly and ignore me. I’m 44 and just now understanding my mother is a covert narcissist and while my IQ is near genius, I never heard my college professors encouragement that I was gifted because there was so much disconnect from my true self from being constantly ignored and gaslit.

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

I am so sorry this happened to you! But the realization of what really happened in your childhood will push you forward to heal.

When I was growing up, I had the exact experience you describe. I was bullied at school. No one noticed my emotions in my body language. I had to verbally tell my mom about being bullied. When I did, we talked intellectually about it. But my emotions were left out of the conversation. I was told things like the bullies don't feel good about themselves, so they put you down to make themselves feel better. They see how special you are and put you down. These comments were true and helpful, but they failed to verbalize anything about my feelings. In recovery meetings I often have difficulty at feelings check time verbalizing my feelings. I often come up blank, struggling for words to describe my feelings, if I recognize I am feeling anything at all. All I come up with is I am feeling good or bad. If you could address the situation when a child is taught to intellectualize feelings instead of validation or verbalization of feelings, this would be very helpful. Thank you for your videos.

Many, MANY years of therapy under my belt, so I've come a long way in dealing with my issues, but all of this rings true for me. My earliest memories are of being punished for crying - locked in my room filled with rage, and not allowed to come out until I could stop crying. I can still hear my mother's words: "You stop crying right now or I'll give you something to cry about!" I'm not sure if that qualifies as neglect or not since it was active and not passive, but the message was clear. Maybe I'm lucky that it was more active because I don't have any trouble remembering it! By age 4 or so, I'd learned my lesson, and I didn't cry anymore, or get angry, or feel much of anything at all. But then I started getting mysterious nose bleeds. The doctors had me on all sorts of therapies and even discussed cauterizing my nose - let's just say the school nurse and I were on a first name basis. It wasn't until I was in my 30's (after years of therapy) that I put it all together. I had a run in with a particularly nasty guy at work that made me feel a lot of anger that I couldn't express, and suddenly blood just started pouring out of my nose. I guess you can pretend that the feelings aren't there, but they eventually find a way out. Once I put it together, the nose bleeds stopped just as mysteriously as they had begun. I had to laugh at the idea of someone asking me how I was feeling, or noticing that something was wrong when I was a child. My dad left when I was four and my mom went back to work full time shortly thereafter, so I was pretty much a latchkey kid all of my life. There really wasn't anybody around who could notice - this was back in the 1970s when that sort of thing was considered normal. I think if you left a 6-year-old home alone these days you'd get put in jail. Anyhow, to say that my parents were uncomfortable with emotions might qualify as understatement of the year. When I was 12 my best friend moved away. I remember walking home after saying goodbye to her, trying valiantly not to cry, and to get myself under control before I got home, because the idea of crying in front of my mother was unthinkable. I ran into the neighbor lady, who knew what had happened. She actually asked me how I was and said some kind words to me... I think that was the only time an adult ever treated me like something I felt mattered. Honestly, it sorta freaked me out, but I still have a soft spot in my heart for her. I wonder what it would have been like to grow up with someone like that as a parent. I still struggle with massive guilt about having feelings - like it's something that I need to apologize for - because if I had just been able to control myself better, my mother wouldn't have been mad all the time and perhaps my parents wouldn't have gotten divorced and everything would have been fine. I know that's ridiculous, but I still feel like it's my responsibility to take care of everyone around me - especially my father, which is totally crazy. Like some part of me thinks that if I could just fix him, he'd be able to care about me - even though he has never once hugged me or told me that he loves me. I'm a work in progress I guess, but if someone asks me what I feel my first response is always to try to figure out what they want me to say.. Anyhow, I look forward to your videos and am hopeful that there will be something helpful in them.

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

This is what I call active neglect, when your parents reject your feelings outright. I hope you have, or will get, a good therapist to help you sort through and heal from what you have been through.

@PaigeSquared

10 ай бұрын

Threatening to give a child something to cry about is abuse. Neglect would have been ignoring your tears, not reacting with anger and punishment; that is actively harmful. Many block out the more severe situations.

@gothiccircle4283

10 ай бұрын

I, too, got the, “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” I was so young it didn’t make any sense to me, because, obviously, I was already crying about something.

It wasn’t until recently that I started to realize how true these things were for me as I was growing up. If you asked me about my childhood, I would’ve said it was great, and that everyone in my family loved and cared deeply for me. I still believe that’s true, but like it was said in the video CEN is about what was missing. I definitely fall in the category of always looking outward and focusing on others instead of myself. It was very discouraging at first realizing how little I know about emotions, but also very encouraging once I realized I’m not alone in this.

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

It's true, you are not alone at all! Once you see what you didn't get, you can heal.

Like Dr Jonice said, I have no memory of emotional neglect.....but then I also don't have much memory of my feelings and emotions from my childhood, I'm 50+ and still unclear of what I'm feeling while I'm doing something. And like someone said in comments, when someone asks how I'm feeling, I try to figure out what they expect me to say or try to analyse what I'm actually feeling, which feels kinda weird.....but thanks to this video, I'm able to start joining the dots!!!

My father died during the night. i was 13 my brother 15. we were put on a train alone to go back to our home and clean up the house because visitors were going to come. we attended the cremation. I shed 1 tear and that was the last we heard about it and straight back to school. Never discussed or referred too again. 1960's, country Australia. that was that.

My mom would physically and emotionally neglect me a lot when I was young. I remember being 4 and she left me alone. I'd try to clean and fold laundry to please her. I remember crying and hiding behind my bed and wall. I was 6 and I woke up one night from a nightmare, and no one was home, and it was dark. I cried myself to sleep on her bed. When I was an adult, i found out she left me alone a lot more than I thought she did. I blocked a lot of memories from the time. She married my stepdad when I was 8. He was a great dad and she became a stay at home mom, but she was still emotionally neglected.. she had her own trauma in her child. I don't blame my parents, they were teenagers and didn't know what they were doing. But I do have plenty of issues from my childhood. I don't feel a bond towards my parents. im emotionally dumb towards everything, especially after being in a abusive relationship for 15 years with my ex-husband. That definitely messed me up, too.

In a houseful of siblings, a mother and a step-father, not one of them could be bothered to bond with me. Later, when I couldn't bond with my own children, I realized what had happened to me in childhood. They, of course, blamed my parenting failure on a false identity the had propped up in place of the real me. Years of tears and pain.

The other day I had a family friend ask me how I was doing, I said I was hanging in, they said "Well sometimes that's all we can do, and 4 people already self deleted, we don't need anymore people to self delete." I thought this was incredibly insensitive. I feel really angry at my family and I live as separately from them as I possibly can, but I'm still stuck with them.

@angelakenyon7490

11 ай бұрын

🙏

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

I sincerely hope you do not feel guilty about keeping boundaries from anyone who is emotionally harmful to you. If someone hurts you repeatedly without apology, they do not deserve any access to your heart.

Growing up in 70's and 80's stripped many of us having our emotional needs met, as our mother's and father's focused on their career path's and being #1. We were silenced. Children should be seen not heard was a common saying back then!

I do believe this applies to me, while knowing that my parents were NOT encouraged to express much emotion. In fact, my mother told me there's no reason to be depressed. If you keep yourself busy you don't have time to be depressed. (She was the busiest person I knew!) My parents took care of our physical needs, taught us through example to appreciate music and people in general, and I'm grateful for that.

Thank you Doctor. Thank you so much. For the first time in my life I feel grounded, selflove and direction. Thanks to your generosity and kindness. Your channel is my safe place. ❤

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

That warms my heart to hear. Excellent work!

I literally believed I was invisible. I thought people couldn't hear what I said or see what I did, because that is how I was treated. I finally realized I wasn't invisible when I said something mean about someone who was standing right next to me, and i realized they could hear me.

Life was chaotic as a child/teen, Dr. with no attention. It seemed as if siblings could only depend upon oneanother, left to heal ( or alternatively, take revenge) with one parent working into night, the other rarely there, and alcohol-swilling & not in the least approachable, EVER, when home from the navy. Once, i firmly believe, with the higher mortality of children, they were persons of interest with parents and others eager to teach I have always been eager to share the adventure of being, outsideand/or showing children how to approach sometimes complex skills. When neighbor kids ask me omething, i really try to do, or answer it. This may be due to having been so utterly neglected that i can only regard children as peer-like. We learn IMMENSELY from each child, including learning the astonishing uniqueness of every other person. We learn of intimacy and trust, even if the strange pecularities of adults cause barriers we can't crash through. Because i was pursuing difficult skills throughout teenage, sexuality was a long way off, and i've never been sexually attracted to anyone under about 23 or so, and i, for one, do require long friendly, joyous individuals who have interpersonal skills and am solely attracted to those attracted to me. I did not even realize that this separates me from the STD/"dating" community that seems to take up the consciousness of all adults. I have even aroused the ire of women who quickly attempt to drag me to bed without even knowing me. Only comitment sparks sexual feelings, so that seems an advantage. The problem is that none show true commitment, or the basic openness of friendship with which any relationship, including valuing another as a person, begins. The peculiar rituals occurring in our culture separate us in this way, as no one appears to be interested in discovery of ANY aspect of life as adults. We obviously need FAR greater interpersonal skills than most adults, other than the profesionals i encounter , have at all. But acquired skills also appear to create cold emotionsl barriers, as if jealousy, rather than openness to explore novel challenges daily. As a result i've ben COMPLETELY socially confused for all my years beyond the unscripted adventures of teenage and the very speciific chalenges of complex physical arts and mental, learning disciplines that formal schooling entails, requires. I am.neither antisocial nor asocial; only amazed at the cognitive, and especially emotonal, abdication of pretty much all adults.

one more thing I was brought up in the "kids should be seen and not heard" and that was how it was.

Thank you Jonice, I will watch your videos with interest. Couldn’t find your questionnaire but I don’t need it to know this fits me. My counsellor sent me a link to your series. I grew up with quite an extreme example of CEN. When I was about 19, my mother one night asked me if I was alright and I burst out crying and couldn’t stop. This is the only occasion in my life I can remember either of my parents ever asking after my emotional well being. I’m now 63 and after watching this first video of yours, can see how I was so typical of what you describe. Thank you for your good work x

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

I hope that now you are often asking yourself if you're alright and have surrounded yourself with people who care. You deserve it!

Thank you for your video. I watched it hoping to get a little insight into my spouse who, through work with their own therapist has realized that they have had some pretty significant emotional neglect from childhood. I discovered, however that I too have this in my past. I just never knew it was there. It does explain a few things. In my family, we simply didn't talk about emotions, other than good ones. "Big girls don't cry", "straighten up"... those were the things I was inadvertently taught. My parents were children of the great depression and both grew up in pretty dysfunctional environments. I truly believe that they only meant to better the lives of their children from what they grew up with, they just simply didn't know any different. I found that I have a real stigma attached to the word "neglect". In my mind that equates with, at the worst ,malicious intent and at best just a disregard or lack of caring. I truly think my parents had the best of intent, so I have to re-evaluate my mental orientation toward that word and re-define it for myself. I also need to explore this facet of myself that has just been revealed and figure out what it means for my life and my own personal growth.

@luanneneill2877

10 ай бұрын

Well said- I totally relate to that!!

When I was learning that I had feelings, as an adult in intensive therapy, I had to have a piece of paper with lists of any possible feelings to pick from. I didn't even know I had feelings or was allowed to have them.

@woofbong9958

18 күн бұрын

I experienced this too.

@MysteryGrey

17 күн бұрын

@@woofbong9958 🫂❤️🌷

Thank you, Jonice. I think it is likely that a majority of us suffer from CEN. I wish this information was mandatory for parents before they took their baby home. It could possibly help prevent so much suffering.

My therapist gave me a book to read, "the emotionally absent mother," and found myself in its pages which explained a lot of my maladaptive behaviors and my disorganized attachments. I hate that book, you don't even know how many times I've wanted to throw that book across the room

I answered, yes, to all the questions in the questionnaire. I have finally found the answer to my questions, for 59 yaars. I still have the question, why is there a stubborn block, of lack, of constant running, away. Yet something keeps me going. 🙏

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

It may be a key think for you to try to face that block. You may be able to find your answer in your emotions, the more you pay attention to them and try to understand them.

Yes please more issues on this topic Resonate with this so much cheers

QUESTION: I have 8 siblings who I’ve limited my contact with because they felt we had a wonderful childhood. In the back of my mind I constantly say to myself “you didn’t have it so bad” or “stop being so dramatic” or “get over it”. I can’t seem to “own” the fact that I experienced neglect. But I can’t deny the all of the neglect symptoms. Here’s my question: Is it possible that I’m just off and I’ve got something else wrong with me?

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

No, I don't think it's possible that you are "off." It is possible for siblings to experience their childhoods very differently. Please work on trusting your own experience and your own self more. It's important.

To learn much more about how Childhood Emotional Neglect happens and affects you through your adult life, sign up for my CEN Breakthrough Series: bit.ly/cenchallenge1 To find out if you grew up with CEN, take the Emotional Neglect test. It’s free: bit.ly/entest To learn much more about how to gain the skills you missed due to Childhood Emotional Neglect check out my bestselling book, Running on Empty, for just $10: bit.ly/runningonemptybook Find out more about Emotional Neglect at: www.emotionalneglect.com.

@laurenransford7638

9 ай бұрын

Thank you for this comforting video. I am trying to find the link to your emotional neglect questionnaire, but couldn't locate it. Could you please post it? Thank you again.

I’m thankful that I found you. Thank you for all that you do to help us acknowledge and then work through our trauma. ♥️

Thank you so much for this video. I always felt like an outsider in my family, no one paid attention to what I did or didn't do. Your test really opened my eyes when I scored 15 yeses. I am getting your book right away. Thanks again, I will keep listening.

What is the difference between CEN and C-PTSD? Other experts say that we choose our feelings, based on our beliefs and thoughts. So we ARE responsible for our feelings AND how we react to them. We have to change our negative core beliefs.

This explains so much for me😵‍💫

I answered yes to all the questions on that test

Thank you 🙏🏻

All I can say is thank you for sharing this...... Very grateful

Great content

I answered yes to all the questions in your CEN questionnaire. Some of them I have worked through in my addiction recovery already, but I answered YES because before recovery I definitely struggled with it.

I am so thankful eith you Jonice. Your work has helped me a lot.

Thank you for helping me finally understand what I am struggling with and why.

I’m a 50 year-old male. I identified CEN as the root cause of my dysfunction last year. Problem is, I simply don’t have the energy to do the work and therapy after floating tetherless throughout my adult life. My 25 year marriage is ending primarily because I could not emotionally support my spouse. How can I when I have no basic understanding of my own emotions? I simply cannot hold space for her or anyone else when I am so empty and rudderless. Therapy hasn’t worked. Books and seminars are helpful at identifying the issue but after a year there’s no improvement. My wall is too tall to scale. I’m angry, frustrated and broken. I’m not looking for empathy or pity. If you are in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s please just use my story as a warning of how detrimental CEN can be on your life and do the work. For me, I will live out my remaining years in a one bedroom apartment separating myself from any intimate connection because I refuse to put anyone else through my hell.

@sanataj

11 ай бұрын

The only consistent advice I have found which seems to help many find their true selves, is meditation. Just try to empty your mind for ten minutes. Visualise lovely scenery and see your thoughts drifting away, on clouds or on leaves in a stream. No therapy or 'work' necessary! Give it a try. If you have anything to report, please comment again, as we all need encouragement!

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

I suggest doing the Identifying & Naming Exercise multiple times per day. You can do all the therapy in the world but if you grew up with CEN and you don't change your relationship with your feelings it will be difficult to make progress. Please do not give up! This work will pay off.

@orion8189

10 ай бұрын

I found the best way to learn something is to teach it. Even if you do not know much about it. I don’t know why I am responding to you. I think it is that I want to do the same as you. I also am 50 and my marriage is on the rocks we also have more problems that we do not want to share. I also met a few men in misery like us and never tried to help because I don’t know how to help. But thanks for the company.

Thank you very much, doctor You have solved part of the puzzle that is my life Very grateful, really really grateful

Ty ty ty ❤

unable to find the questionnaire link anywhere

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

It's available free on my website emotionalneglect.com.

So glad I found you and your work!! I was raised by 2 CEN divorced parents with no siblings!!! Dr.Webb, do you think ART therapy is ok to use in addition to your tools?

@lauracardenas5876

7 ай бұрын

Art is a great way to express ourselves and connect with ourselves. Do it!

@suef5417

4 ай бұрын

Anything creative helps. I started Pinterest years ago and was amazed at how good it felt.

I can’t find the questionnaire either

@DrJoniceWebbphd

10 ай бұрын

It's available free on my website emotionalneglect.com.

How does undiagnosed/unknown ADHD and autism (Asperger’s) fit in to all this? My mother had both, as do I, it turns out. My four other siblings probably have undiagnosed ADHD. With both parents working long hours to keep their flower shop afloat, we were left to fend for ourselves as latchkey kids. They basically just managed us the best they could. Fast forward to my family. I was determined to stay at home with my three kids (oldest with Asperger’s, the younger two with ADHD- all undiagnosed and not known) so they wouldn’t be left on their own. Turns out it didn’t matter a whole lot. They still screamed at and hit each other while I was there. I was at a loss as to how to stop it and my introverted husband just wanted quiet so he’d withdraw and wasn’t much help or he’d over correct. I knew things weren’t the way they should be but didn’t know how to fix it. I would’ve thrown us all into therapy to figure it out but this was before health insurance covered it, so it was prohibitively expensive. I finally figured out what was going on after my mother was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 70. I figured out that I and the two younger ones also have ADHD and a few years later added Asperger’s to my diagnosis and that that was the deal with my oldest. This was when they were in their middle to late teens and I was in my forties. The damage had been done. Our oldest now has a great job with one of the alphabet companies, as a computer programmer. He’s worked hard and gone through therapy to help him get over his childhood. The second has a good accounting career with a major company, but self medicates with alcohol and pot, which hasn’t interfered with said career- yet. He’s had a little bit of therapy, but not currently, and I think may be on an SSRI for anxiety. The third went to culinary school and has had many jobs and has had trouble with authority in all of them, not all her fault, she just escalates and burns her bridges. She’s currently her own boss and is doing better career-wise, but is very resentful for how she was raised. She’s had some therapy but her current insurance isn’t taken by her therapist so she hasn’t gone in a while. I’m in therapy (my husband declines to go- it’s nobody’s business) and try to steer clear of controversial stuff with her but still periodically accidentally do things that set her off. She escalates and screams then cools off and we go from there. I’m hopeful that she’ll be able to go back to therapy. Curiously, neither she nor her brothers seem to have a problem with their dad, like they have had with me. Meanwhile, I pray for us all.

Is fatigue a common symptom of emotional neglect? Do you have any videos about this? I ask because as I've paid more attention to my feelings, I've noticed that I seem to be holding a lot in and it seems to require a lot of energy to hold it all in... but it is kind of a vague sense that that's what is happening. It seems that when I express my feelings, they are often pretty intense, so it sort of feels like I either have to hold them in or lose an afternoon or entire day to expressing the emotions. That is exhausting too, so I often end up just holding them all in again. It would be nice to understand the fatigue factor better and how to work with that better. Would love any tips. Thank you!!

Where is the link to the questionnaire? I don't want to sign up to something i just want to know

@DrJOniceWebbphd Where can I find the questions to answer with yes or no? Did you remove the questionnaire? Thanks for your answer.

@lauracardenas5876

7 ай бұрын

Her website

i can't get any sound from your videos on my laptop

I can't find the questionnaire.

Where can I find the Questionaire? I’ve searched all of the videos in the video list and can’t find it. Could you put the word “Questionnaire” in there beginning of the title, please?

@luanneneill2877

10 ай бұрын

She put a link under @Signedpeach’s comment.

Problem - age 3 to nearly was WW2 in London suberbs

🙏🏼🙏🏼🌸

What's the difference between emotional neglect and emotional abuse?

@lauracardenas5876

7 ай бұрын

Look for this book it explains it the emotionally absent mother

Will this work even if my wife is not interested in this

@suef5417

4 ай бұрын

Do it for you.

Parents do the best they can. If you were not abused and your material needs were met, appreciate that.