i hate getting compliments like "omg you lost weight you look so good" because i immediatly feel like they didnt like me before i lost weight :\

@tothebatman

4 жыл бұрын

Charmaine Stewart me too:(

@Em_Elizabeth

2 жыл бұрын

I had my grandmother say "You look so much better! You're not so FAT anymore!" And everyone wondered why I looked so uncomfortable.

I would've liked you to have mentioned the myth that bulimics are underweight, according to the DSM it is actually not possible to be diagnosed with bulimia nervosa when underweight. Bulimics are always of normal weight or overweight. Someone who is underweight and binges/purges would be classified as 'Anorexia binge/purge subtype' or 'Atypical anorexia'. So throwing up your food does NOT equal being skinny. Also is bulimia likely one of the most hidden eating disorder because bulimics are ashamed of their behaviour, they hide it and often don't look for help because they feel they don't look sick enough. Therefor it is unknown how deadly it really is, bulimia has a strong affect on your heart, throat, stomach, and bowels. It increases your chances of getting cancer and most notably strongly increases the chance of a heart attack at any age (brought on by the physical stress of purging). I hope some people read this and learn more about Bulimia, i feel it's an eating disorder often overlooked or grouped in with Anorexia but it is not a 'restrictive eating disorder' in itself.

@MaryandNewton

5 жыл бұрын

Eva Verheij sorry I know you posted this ages ago but I’m just watching this video now, and I wanted to say that what you wrote is so true, I had bulimia and I wasn’t skinny (I was actually probably overweight) and I felt like I didn’t need help because I didn’t look skinny enough and that just made it worse and more extreme because I thought what I was doing to myself was fine, because I was never “underweight”. Thanks for pointing this out, it’s an excellent point

I have binge eating disorder. I didn't realize I had this until about a year ago but looking back on it, I have been struggling with it for many years. When I was little, I would always sneak into the kitchen and stuff food in my mouth, whether it was leftovers that weren't put away yet, snacks, cereal, whatever I could get my hands on, I ate. It got to the point where I would sneak food to my room or the bathroom and eat in there so I wouldn't get caught. About 2 years ago, I got a job at a smoothie cafe, and every shift, we were allowed one meal, a couple sides, and unlimited smoothies. Majority of my shifts were closing shifts, so what I did was eat my one meal and sides, eat dinner when I got home, and when everyone went to bed, I binged my little heart out. What I have realized is that almost every single day for the past 2-3 years, I would eat as much as I could until I was literally about to vomit, then I would wait for some food to digest so there would be more room in my stomach, then I would go back and binge again. It didn't matter how sick I felt from the food, I didn't stop until I was on the verge of vomiting. Since I was diagnosed, I have been working with doctors to help suppress my appetite and shrink my stomach, and I can proudly say I haven't binged in about a week and a half. The comments I hate the most about my binging is when people say "Just eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full, don't overeat and you'll be okay, it's called will-power," and "You are overweight, you can't have an eating disorder. You just overeat, that's not an eating disorder." Binge eating disorder is not just overeating!!

@kmoellski

6 жыл бұрын

so true... I am so proud of you for being binge free for so long already, keep going you can do it!

@liziuhh

6 жыл бұрын

Katrin M thank you so much!!

@aiwxo

6 жыл бұрын

I struggle so hard with this behaviour 😟

@hendrike4813

6 жыл бұрын

lizium _ i relate so much what you said about experiencing BED in childhood. I never got overweight, i guess i just had a super fast metabolism back then, but ever time i ate that much i felt incredibly terrible afterwards. So when I was about 12, i started dieting. I loved the control it gave me over my body and not eating and loosing weight became a coping mechanism for me for my depression and other problems. I 'abused' beautiful books like Wintergirls or documentaries about anorexia as triggers, I remember that when To The Bone came out I mainly watched it to motivate myself to fast for 72 hours. Not even gonna get started about my obsession with Cassie and Effy from Skins. Half a year ago I was ready to kill myself because I knew that there was no way to go, no possible future living like this. Every single bit of my energy went to calculating the calories in my meals and hating myself for binging on a bar of chocolate. I seriously don't know what the turning point was, but maybe five months ago I started to recover. It was so hard and there were too many times I relapsed to keep track but eventually I'm as close to be completely recovered as I ever was. There's still sometimes binges, there's still sometimes looking down at my body and hating myself because I can't see my rips as much as I used to and I don't think I'll ever be fully recovered but at this moment I'm experiencing a future I'd never even dared to dream of.

@liziuhh

6 жыл бұрын

Rae Harris sorry it took me so long to reply! there is a difference between 'emotional binge eating' and binge eating disorder. your situation definately sounds similar to mine, and i would recommend going to a therapist (that's where i went for mine to begin with) and seeing what they would recommend.

So thankful you made this video! I've been in recovery for anorexia for 6 years and really appreciate you making a video for NEDAweek :) I also really appreciate you speaking about your own experiences even if they weren't a full-fledged eating disorder. Love what you said about KZreadrs! It disgusts me that people comment on the mental health of strangers and feel entitled to make those comments because they are behind a screen. "Your body recovers faster than your mind recovers" YES YES YES YES YES Wonderful video!! xx

@ranishelton3653

6 жыл бұрын

emmmabooks you are so inspirational Emma!

@ayse5712

6 жыл бұрын

I love ur videos my fave booktuber :D

I would really like to see a "things not to say to a depressed/anxious person" or maybe something like "if you would say the things you said to people with mental illnesses to people with other illnesses"❤️❤️I love your videos and you have really sparked a big psychology interest in me!! Thanks for always being so educational and an amazing person! I've followed you since the purple hair & lookbook days✨

i've struggled with eating disorders ever since i can remember. it started when i was 7, and i had anorexia nervosa. this continued til i was around 12 and i recovered. i relapsed again, this time into EDNOS, meaning i didn't have the full symptoms of any disorder, i had a mixture of a few into one. i would binge then restrict, binge then restrict non-stop. this continued from age 13-14. i'm now 15 and i'm suffering from anorexia again. i'm so glad you talked about the whole myth that people with eating disorders have to be underweight. i'm anorexic yet i'm not "stick thin". as of now, i'm considered a "healthy weight", although it is dropping little by little. barely anybody in my life knows of my disorder, as it's not something i open up about often. the one person i have told literally said to me "if you're anorexic you shouldn't be that weight." and she looked me up and down. that type of shit is so ignorant and i'm sick of this idea that you must look like a stick figure to be anorexic. thank you for talking about this, every day is a battle and i'm tired of these myths and the stigma surrounding ED's. love u sarah

I suffer from ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder) and it's such a challenge. It's not necessarily as physically unhealthy as other ED'S but it has a lot of social effects. I can't go to someone else's house for fear of them making food and me being rude by rejecting it. Not a lot of people know about this disorder and it's hard to explain other than just that I'm an extreme picky eater. I physically CANNOT try new foods in 98% of cases. Its so painful and I wish more than anything to be able to take a bite of lettuce, but I can't. I think ARFID needs more awareness because of the amount of times people have told me "Oh just try it one bite come on" but it's...it's just not possible.

@rachelb.684

6 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I think I might have ARFID too. I can't even eat sauces, if someone hands me something with a sauce (other than pizza), I will not eat it. The thought of sauces disgusts me. I hate eating at other people's houses because it's very likely they'll give me something that I can't eat.

@jinkook.mp44

6 жыл бұрын

I have that too, except I cannot eat hot foods or anything that has milk in it, like cereal or oatmeal. Which sucks because I do not eat dinner or breakfast and all day I practically just have a sandwich. I have ARFID because of my ematophobia and it sucksss

@4booky831

5 жыл бұрын

I think my aunt might deal with something related to this, but she lives in Colombia and I find that mental health issues aren't always taken seriously. She refuses to recognize that her thoughts towards food are harmful to her

@saa-wnbaw

4 жыл бұрын

I have ARFID with orthorexic tendencies. For me it's not a "picky eater" thing, it's more a "what if i develop a sudden allergy to gluten?"/"if i eat one slice of pie i'm going to get diabetes"/"what if that chicken is undercooked?"

such an important video. my mom was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder, at almost 50 years old. it's been going on for years and while i noticed her behaviour i just thought she was keen to eat healthy and exercise etc. for my whole life i've even felt thankful for being "taught" to eat healthy foods etc. so it's been a really scary and eye-opening experience, it really affects the whole family, even tho i don't live with my parents anymore. it's so easy to think it's something that'll only happen to teenage girls, but it obviously isn't.

@eev14

6 жыл бұрын

Wow, pretty heavy to get that diagnosis so late in life. But you're right that it definitely isn't just a teenage mental health issue. When i was in therapy for my bulimia we had a 50+ year old bulimic in group and she had been bulimic for over 35 years, that kind of blew my mind. It was a bit shocking and she had a obese teenage daughter and she felt guilty because she was afraid her eating disorder was affecting her daughter.

@rockchick184

6 жыл бұрын

My mum does not have an eating disorder but prides herself on eating very little like the 500 kal fasting for 2 days that I am sceptical about and I am worried it could devolp into an ED if she is not careful I have extremly low self esteem myself and feel huge compared to her. I have sometimes felt like I should go on the same diet as she does as I am a little overweight due to uni stress.

Im over weight and I struggle with a eating disorder. I only eat 300 cals a day now. I've lost 100 pounds from the 300 I weighed and people are always happy for me. I get so much encouragement because I'm loosing weight. I told a friend what I've been struggling with and they said I don't have a disorder and that I should keep it up so I won't be as fat anymore. People do not take you seriously unless you're skin and bones.

@louisac303

6 жыл бұрын

please please cut that person out of your life or explain to them why what they said was fucked up. i'm so sorry you're going through this, but let me tell you that you can come out of it. that ED part of your brain might not ever go away completely (given I'm not elderly I can't really say) but the thoughts and behaviours are something you can gain control over. i'm more comfortable and feel more attractive in my body now, a few years out from the height of my ED, than I ever did even before it really began, and I'm 20kgs heavier than I was then - and even then I was not skin and bones, I was probably a bit heavier than average. so yeah, people didn't really notice that I was struggling with food and exercise issues. i know i don't have to tell you your eating habit is bad, bc when you have an ED that's like telling someone that sticking their finger over a flame will hurt - it's old news and it doesn't help. but what I hope can help is that, from someone who knows, it's possible to change your mindset - it's easier to do if you have professional help obviously but there are online communities that aren't toxic out there, and like Sarah mentions there are online and over the phone counselling services out there. even before I had professional help, i had started to do better because of finding people to talk to about it in person and online. my advice as someone who's mostly recovered from my ED would be that it probably isn't mentally safe for you to keep trying to lose weight right now. I'm just starting on the path of losing weight safely because I want to be fit again, and one of the hardest things is how slow it is. Four years ago I couldn't deal with that, and there are still slip ups involved even now, and I suspect that where you are right now that it would be too difficult to control urges to make everything move faster. so even if you can't get professional help at the moment, maybe try to slowly get up to a normal calorie intake, and try to maintain your current weight but always be reminding yourself that gaining a bit back isn't a sign of some personal failure. it's a sign of your body biologically responding to starvation, and it's just trying to protect you in case it happens again. i found that thought comforting while I was recovering (don't freak out though, I didn't gain all my post recovery weight just from my body recovering - my ED was co-morbid to my main MI and so most of the gain was medication related). also, don't feel like an arsehole telling people you'd rather food and weight loss not be part of your conversations together. sometimes people you love can be triggering without knowing they are, because body image and fat shaming are such societally ingrained problems. but from personal experience i can tell you that, even if it makes them a bit uncomfortable, it's reasonable to ask for people not to comment, even positively, on your weight, and you don't have to explain the real reason why to them either - just say you'd rather they not say anything about the way you look without you asking. even semi make up a reason, like you don't like the way our society associates personal validation with weight loss. it really, seriously helps. people not noticing you might be ill means that it won't cross their mind not to say certain things, so just ask that they don't. i hope any of this helps - i realise it might not, because i remember how resistant i was to any advice that didn't feed my disorder when i was at my worst. but hopefully it does

I've struggled with anorexia since I was eleven (I'm twenty now). I've been in and out of hospitals for it. I've been working on recovery for 3years now and finally got to a healthy weight, and this last year I got pregnant twice both ending in second trimester miscarriage. I can't help but wondering if my eating disorder ruined my chances of ever having a baby.. And because I gained weight from the pregnancies and then had a miscarriage both times my entire body is feeling messed up. I'm gaining weight like crazy because my metabolism has slowed way down. And all of it is so triggering and I feel so close to relapse... And I just wanted to put this all out in the open because people have always told people with EDs that they "need to realize what your disorder is taking away from you and it should be easy to walk away from it." It doesn't work like that. My ED taking away my babies only made me hate myself more which threw me right back into it. Its a vicious cycle and we shouldn't be expected to get better over night or to just be able to stop whenever we want. Its not as simple as "just eat," Its an engrained mindset of, "but food is the root of my problem, so I should just avoid it all together," or, "if I eat I'll hate myself, if I don't eat I'll only get sicker and inevitably still hate myself." Its been almost 10years of this battle with my own body and unfortunately even after recovery, the unhealthy relationship with food never fully goes away. I wasn't careful and now I'm falling back into that dark place that almost killed me a few years ago. I wasn't prepared for any of this. I didn't have anything to fall back on other than my disorder, and this is why people with EDs need more than just shitty advice on how to get "better," We need real support systems. We need counselors, friends, family, partners that are willing to try to understand and that will listen. Because even after recovery, triggers can and will be present. Even some you didn't know would be a trigger until it happened. sorry for the rambling but I've been thinking about all of this for a while now and I finally had a place to talk about it...

@Fantasyvid

6 жыл бұрын

Lizabeth Werner im so sorry to hear that.. i wish you all the best. are you seeing a counselor/therapist right now? if you feel like you're close to relapse you should seek to prevent it before it gets worse!

@Barboruxx

6 жыл бұрын

Lizabeth, i am sorry to hear what is happening to you... but you know what? You are so strong! Having ED for such a long period of time could have killed so many people but you are still here! I wish you the best and praying for you and your family ❤️

@TheEliTepes

6 жыл бұрын

pasteltuna I've been seeing a psychiatrist but honestly I need a different one because I feel like she doesn't actually listen to anything I'm saying. And her solution to everything is uping my lamictal dose again, and again, and again.

@TheEliTepes

6 жыл бұрын

Barbora Kaminskaitė Thank you ❤❤❤

I do not take statistics like the one you gave about men with eating disorders. So few men would come forward about something like that because, particularly in western culture, men can even be argued to have more of a social disadvantage than women. Women have had so much help with their social disadvantages (which is fantastic) but now I feel like the affects of masculinity have been ignored. Anorexia counselling for girls. Plus size models for girls. Body positivity for girls. Remember how women felt before they learnt that they were okay the way they are. Remember when they’d think about their image in a negative light even a little too much and remember when they’d look in the mirror and not actually like what they saw. Until they were told they were beautiful and they were told that they didn't need to change and they were told that the media is wrong. But men aren’t. Men live with those emotions and fears of themselves, of who they are for their entire lives because no one tells them they're beautiful and no one tells them they don't have to change and no one tells them that the media is wrong. Muscle dysmorphia, which is also known as bigorexia, is an anxiety disorder which causes someone to see themselves as small, despite likely being big and muscular and it becomes an unhealthy obsession to be big and muscular. It’s kind of like a reverse anorexia. How many of you women have been told about anorexia and to be aware of it? How many of you have seen books and articles about it? How many of you have been offered support about it? And yet at least one in ten men in gyms are believe to have muscle dysmorphia and there is still nothing to help men out of these kind of mental states, let alone prevent it in the first place. Rob Willson, member of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation, believes that muscle dysmorphia often leads to anxiety, depression, extreme obsession, and even suicide and believes that men have some ‘catching up’ to do with body positivity as they are so much more affected than women now. Men deserve to feel beautiful just as we do. Disclaimer: not at all hate on her for using this statistic, just saying my opinion

@donovanfrye8661

6 жыл бұрын

Lesbian in Lipstick I'm a man and I really appreciate this comment.

@23Starcatcher

5 жыл бұрын

I'm a woman and I appreciate this comment. 3rd wave Feminism has ruined the bridge between men and women. We are supposed to support each other and unite against the criminals, not tear each other down. There are good and bad men and women.

@saraacevedo7375

5 жыл бұрын

Nuch Bannister so i had no idea that that existed thx for educating me

this is a really lovely video to watch, thank you for looking into this and making a video on it! i’ve been struggling with eating disorders since i was around 12 (~2012) and i think that you touched on this subject really well. it’s tough to see that eating disorders are well known enough for the typical “oh they look anorexic” jokes but not enough for proper education, which can be really toxic. thank you for this video, loving what you make as usual 💗

Hi! My sister was diagnosed with Anorexia when she was just twelve years old. Thank you so much for making a video about what this disease is. So many people need to be educated on this topic. For forensics (Speech and debate, not science) this year my speech is about raising awareness for Anorexia and it's treatment. NEDA is a very powerful and amazing organization and I love that you are showing them some love! Thank you! I also directed a one act this year called Eat (It's Not About Food) and it let me into my sisters mind. She is one of the strongest people i've ever met! Thank you for doing this video. The one thing I do have to say, however, is when you say "I didn't let it get to that point" I felt like it kind of negated that the people who suffer are not in control. My sister couldn't stop because her mind got so sick. Otherwise your video was spot on! Love your channel!

This was a fantastic video! My only critique is that you didn't touch on Bulimia at all, which is a very common ED. But I loved this video. Keep up the wonderful work!

@eev14

6 жыл бұрын

That was my critique as well, Bulimia get's overlooked quite a lot or grouped in with Anorexia.

I found your channel a few days ago and I love it so much! Your videos are amazing and I've already watched so many of them! 💓

I really like your videos. I appreciate how you speak about these important topics in a clear way. Keep it up! And the girl who shared her story with you is very brave :)

@caitlinwatson9812

6 жыл бұрын

hellokittyninjastar thankyou very much xx

Thank you for this. Sadly one of my closest friends is struggling with an ed and I've been trying to learn more about how they work to try and understand what she's going through a little bit better. This video is v helpful and idk if she's looking at comments but ty kaitlyn for sharing her story

@cb333

6 жыл бұрын

Mia S Its super sweet you're trying to learn to help your friend 😊 everyone is different, in my experience though I found I didn't like it if someone made a big deal if I ate something "bad". If I wanted to celebrate it, I would tell them, otherwise they wouldn't acknowledge it, which made it easier to eat. I also would sometimes make myself eat in front of my family instead of hiding away in my room to make sure I actually ate. My family was patient and asked what made me feel most comfortable and never forced me to eat. So ask your friend questions, don't force her to eat, and try to be there for her, but make sure to take care of yourself aswell. I hope she feels better soon 😊

@caitlinwatson9812

6 жыл бұрын

Mia S thankyou very much xx

When I was fifteen, my parents would bodyshame me everyday, saying that I couldn’t be happy with my body because I was so fat, ect. I weighed at least 25 kg less than I do now, and now I can accept that I’m not a size 0 and probably never will be. They put me on a diet and send me to a dietician. I was restricted of so many foods, that I would only eat a few different kinds of food, and other foods would make me super anxious. I actually noticed I was starting to have some disordered and obsessive behaviour, and that scared me so much. I believe, that if I start another extreme diet, that this will happen again.

I am so glad you made this video! I am a social worker and eating disorders are a huge problem I see everyday. Awareness is so important. & your mental health vids are my fav!!

@aiwxo

6 жыл бұрын

Justine same here, social workers together!

Thanks for all the work you do

There should be more awareness of BINGE EATING disorder which is still just as serious as other forms. I dealt with it due to antipsychotics (have to be on medication to counter it) and I experienced MALNUTRITION symptoms among other psychological symptoms. It got to the point where I wanted to purge but physically couldn't. Many of us can thankfully track calories though without it causing any disordered eating. "clean eating" caused disordered eating for me versus tracking and eating whatever I want makes me feel in control. I'd suggest recreation therapy as good means of getting back into a healthy exercise regimen, particularly if there's a program with a rec therapist specializing in eating disorders. No exercise is no healthier than too much exercise.

I'm really glad that you mention that a lot of relapses occur because its easier for the body to recover than the mind. I have been battling with this since 6th grade, and while there are periods when I gain or lose weight its mostly because my mindset hasn't had time to adapt to new habits. For me its a coping mechanism and instead of focusing on gaining weight, im learning that I need to gain healthy skills to deal with my emotions.

i'd love for more people to talk about ARFIDS. ive never been officially diagnosed with it b/c my parents dont believe that its more than picky-ness, but ive read a lot about it and i really think its something i have. ive always, always struggled with social situations because of it. i never ate at my friends' houses (usually i'd lie and say i ate before coming or that i wasnt hungry), i only eat at certain places so its hard to go out, and once when i was really young i went to a camp for three days and ate nothing but bread because everything else made me wanna gag. i have horrible, intense anxiety whenever someone tries to get me to eat something new. my diet is basically the same as a five year old's because of it. i only eat chicken nuggets and fishsticks, spaghetti-o's, lunchables, pizza, snacks like goldfish and cookies, and like. ice cream. i dont eat any fruits or vegetables, no red meat, very little dairy and grains. cant eat certain textures. cant eat things that smell a certain way. its awful. im 17. i know this is not how i should be eating but its so, so hard. its a real struggle and its difficult to fight it when no one around you believes its an actual thing.

4:07 someone send this to Onision

Dont have a personally experience with any of these disorders,but great that you shed some light on it. Killin some myths and stuff☺️

Thanks for making this, Sarah! I finally started getting therapy for my eating disorder about a year and a half ago and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. And, thanks for sharing your experiences with body image struggles--i think it's really important to talk about :)

thank you so much for doing this video sarah! i struggled with an eating disorder for ten years. I've been in and out of the hospital since I was 10 years old. Throughout all of my teen years I truly thought that I was never going to recover. That I was going to have to deal with these obsessions and terrible thoughts all of my life. Just last year, I found a therapist that I worked well with, and she helped me tremendously. It was hard as hell, but I can now say that I am fully recovered! I think it is important to mention (and you did talk about it a little bit) the environment of the hospitals. I was inpatient for four months when I was 11, and then I was in the day treatment program for a few months at a time when I was 14 and then again when I was 17. Being in the hospital, around eight or so other girls dealing with the same or similar issues, did not help me at all, and I think it was the reason it took me so long to recover. When the therapists or counselors were out of the room for one minute, we would all start talking about how little we ate the night before, or how much exercise we did. We would share ways in which to hide food from the counselors during meal and snack times. One time, after day treatment let out, five of us went to the stairwell and ran up and down the stairs for half an hour! And most of us at that time were in wheelchairs during treatment hours because our heart rates were so low! I feel like there is so much that needs to be fixed about how eating disorders are being treated, especially in young people. The environments of day treatment programs and inpatient units are so incredibly toxic. Sorry this is so long, and thanks for reading it if you did, I just felt like I needed to make that point. Thanks again sarah ! 💖

Extraordinarily well done!

Thank you so much for this video. I'm currently grappling with an anorexia relapse while being clinically average-to-over weight so it's harder to be taken seriously and given help even though I've lived with this on and off for 7 years. I found it too hard to talk about it during awareness week because I've only recently fallen back into my illness but this video was so therapeutic and comforting for me. It made me feel very understood and you presented it kindly.

Thanks for talking about this subject, and saying that not all eating disorders have do with losing weight, a lot of people forget that.

Thank you for posting this ! I think this topic is very important and should be discussed more than it is.We need to break down the myths and educate people...I would love to see videos about you debunking myths & stigmatizations around other self harm methods (like cutting for example) that people go through along with how to cope with someone outing your self harming etc to others....

Thank you so much for sharing this! :)

love your videos sarah! been watching u for years! 😊

thank you so much for this video - i myself have experienced binge eating disorder, there are definitely a lot of myths to this class of disorders!

Thank you for this, ive been dealing with bulimia and trying to recover for many months. So this is amazing

I know it’s not related to the topic Of This video but I wanted to say a huge thank you, months ago I really struggled with driving anxiety it was so hard and I genuinely believed I would never get my driving license, after I watched your video on how to cope with anxiety with driving it really did help me.. I now really enjoy driving and I have my license!!! So thank you so much💖💖

Substance abuse video plzzz

@girlinabox1943

6 жыл бұрын

Nico Vargas seconded!!!

I found the part about eating to gain the rewards and then relapsing afterwards really interesting, that had never occurred to me before. I really appreciate your videos Sarah, I am half way through my first year studying psychology and you encouraged me to do it as a 'mature' student, I'm 22, so will be a similar age to you are now once I've finished my education xxx

YES I feel like this was partially inspired by a comment I posted on your last mental health video. Thanks for listening!

As a psych major (soon to be in grad school for counseling) I LOVE your videos!

@juliejealousy

6 жыл бұрын

Natese Dockery you’re gonna love grad school! I just started and in my opinion it’s way better than undergrad :)

@Tese_xo

6 жыл бұрын

guiltmenot I sure hope so! But good luck to you on your journey!

@ala4935

6 жыл бұрын

Natese Dockery take what she says with a grain of salt, listen to your professors more.

@Tese_xo

6 жыл бұрын

ala I just watch them for entertainment purposes. But thanks for the advice lol.

@ala4935

6 жыл бұрын

Natese Dockery that's fair. i used to like her videos more but lately they're a little... inaccurate.

21 years of eating disorders (ages 8 to 29 so far) Always trying recovery. It's never easy. Happy neda week 💖

I'd love if you could do a video about mental hospital stereotypes. I think it's important to let people know that it doesn't have to be a scary place.

I usually hate ads but I am so happy to see ads in this video ❤

I have an eating addiction and no one believes me because my metabolism is fast so I don't gain too much weight.

@jojocircus9818

6 жыл бұрын

And also people think I'm anorexic. I'm literally the complete opposite.

Hope you feel better soon :)

please do a video on different eating disorders!

I totally get your experience with weight loss apps. When I’ve tried them, I end up trying to eat as little as possible, which is obviously unsustainable and unhealthy. I haven’t used one in almost a year, and I feel much better!

YES!! thank u for mentioning that not all eating disorders have something to do with losing weight or being thin. An eating disorder is disordered eating eating copious amounts of food at one time is NOT normal. A lot of times ppl with b.e.d don’t think that they have an eating disorder bc most ppl only focus on anorexia or bulimia they do not think/know that they have an eating disorder. It’s sad that in today’s world we pity those with anorexia or bulimia and tell them that they are beautiful just the way they are and they should stop why they’re doing but we think that people with b.e.d or obesity are disgusting.

love youuuu x

I got discharged from being outpatient this week! I also went back to school this Monday after being inpatient for a while too, and am already auditioning and for my school musical. My life and purpose feels so much more meaningful. The experience was god-awful, but I have picked up things I apply to my life and have never felt so wonderful. I love myself like I never have before and my confidence has been through the roof. I hate that I went through it, but I appreciate what it did for me. So excited for life! :) 💞

I used to restrict to very low numbers (I will not name the number of calories because that could be very triggering) when I felt bad about myself, when I got angry, basically whenever I felt any negative emotion. It got to the point that to be happy, I felt like I HAD to restrict. I also got an app that contributed to obsessive behaviors. It felt like control. It felt like success. It wasn't. It wasn't until I got medicine for my depression (that I didn't even know I had) that I realized what an issue it really was, and that my restriction was very linked to my depression. I didn't have to go to therapy for it, so I don't think it was a disorder (although my family was 100% willing to get me help, and would have made me had they not seen any improvement in my eating). For me, it just took a lot of family support and help finding different outlets. So, I from my own experiences, I feel like eating disorder symptoms can be part of other mental health issues, and other mental health issues can cause/influence eating disorders. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong, that is just my own experience. (Again, I don't say what I had was an eating disorder, because I truly don't believe it was. I had eating disorder symptoms and obsessive behavior.)

This was really well done, thank you. I have issues where I can't eat if there are people around. Which a lot of people hear and think that it's either silly, or that it doesn't affect much... Except we are a society of social eaters. Think about it how often you eat around other people. I can't do that. If I try, I start to shake and panic and feel nauseous. If I even think about it, I start feeling sick. I go to events where I'm around people 24/7 for three or four days in a row. I put myself into starvation for those days, and lie to everyone I love about it because they're so protective and if they know I don't eat, they try and force me to eat. And while they're trying to be sweet, they're making everything worse and making it impossible for me to eat, even if I wanted to sneak something away to a quiet corner somewhere. The more people focus on trying to help me... The worse they're actually making it. Because it's built around anxiety about people focusing on my eating. The way I eat, the things I eat, how much I eat, whether or not I eat at all... It feels like every time I ate when I wasn't at home, before/as this became a problem, I was judged and shamed for one thing or another about my eating until I just... Stopped giving them the opportunity. It was 12 years ago that I first collapsed from simply not eating. Wasn't the last time, but it only happened a few more times. Ever since, I've been bouncing between periods of starvation and periods of binging privately, with brief periods of being relatively healthy in between. Most of the time I don't even realize that I haven't eaten in three+ days until my stomach starts to hurt because of the meds I have to take for chronic illnesses. But I'm not unhealthy skinny, I'm not one of "those girls" that people expect to have an eating disorder. Even when they've never seen me eat in all the years they know me, they usually don't ever suspect until I say something about it.

@fruitygarlic3601

6 жыл бұрын

I really feel like I'm not being helpful because I don't have any advice to offer, but I really do wish for the best for you. These days a lot of people don't take people's personal problems too seriously, especially a lot of edgy little kids online, so I think that it's very brave that you're speaking about it, even when people may ignore the unromanticised truth. I hope that one day you can reach a state where you're comfortable and happy, and I do hope that the people in your life who care about you, and who know, won't be judgemental.

@cb333

6 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I sort of understand where you're coming from, at Christmas I didn't eat at all because I didn't want to eat in front of a family member that was told about my disorder without my permission. I didn't like that she knew and I didn't want her staring and judging me while I ate. Perhaps you could start small, if there is someone you know well and are comfortable with, try eating with them. Try to get used to it and slowly work your way up. I'm not sure if this helps at all, stay strong

@DeeMetria

6 жыл бұрын

Eh, it helps just to be heard sometimes.

@cb333

6 жыл бұрын

Baby steps are good 😊 I hope everything works out for you

@saraacevedo7375

5 жыл бұрын

i feel the same way too i feel like anytime i eat around other people they will think that i’m a fat ass and i never tell ppl i know this bc i know that they’ll think it’s stupid

It took me a long time to really lose my ignorance about eating disorders. Throughout my years in highschool (1999-2005) I knew a handful of girls with severe eating disorders and even though I grew up with mental illness in my family (BPD and schizophrenia) I never saw it as the same. I always saw eating disorders as selfish - like, "how selfish do you have to be, to think it matters that much how skinny you are" - I saw it as a decision to get sick, not as a sickness. Now as an adult I understand it is about the control, not the food or weight, and about self-esteem. But that took me a long time to understand because it is almost like a cultural manifestation of a disorder; a reaction to the world that is unrelated to it.

i appreciate you speaking on this topic a lot and im sorry i couldn't seat and watch the whole video. I decided to watch at my own expense even after the trigger waring so this is by no means your fault. I just wanted to say that even if i didn't watch it i feel like this helps for a lot of people.

My story was/is similar to yours, I had a summer where I despite having received straight A's felt awful ( I didn't get a summer job, my only irl friend was moving away from me etc.) so that escalated a bit, never too bad or well I ate everyday so I was "fine" and thought I could go back to healthy starting school again, which I couldn't and people around me were worried as I had lost a significant amount of weight (about like a fifth of my previous weight) so a teacher like forced me to get help but I had already during the summer when I noticed that I actually wasn't in control to a human online that has dealt/is in recovery so I was already working on becoming better and even if it's taken two years now and two psychologists everything has been worth it and I hope I'll continue to make progress. Thanks for sharing and I wish you the best of luck

How can a human look so adorable ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love you and your personality so much

Clicked right away! Glad you made this video :)

I just subscribed and I already love ur channel

Who’s the girl who you mentioned you watched? I don’t think it got linked

@sarahhawkinson

6 жыл бұрын

oh my gosh my bad! here she is >>> kzread.info/dron/tszKc1yrvDlk8VBhtLxcMA.html (MerryRose Howley)

I’d love to see you do a video just on binge eating disorder, I felt like this video focus more on anorexia more than anything else. Same for bulimia, I personally think those deserve their own video.

I got into college and got really nervous, anxious, and started overeating for a little over 6 months. Before I was working out too much. Now I have to avoid any overexercising and overeating, since I now I am conscious of how my coping mechanisms work. I got to the point of getting sick after eating too much chocolate and potatoes chips. Then I chose to stop because it wasn't good. I didn't let it become binge eating , but it started to hurt me.

Being a bigger person myself a long time I was more of a successtory then a sick person. It really took a lot to get out of there. I recommend watching blythe bairds poem, when the fat girl gets skinny💜

This is a great video, interesting content. I always thought that a friend o mine have any kind of eating desorder. She have (or used to have) so mental issues, but i know hernso much that i can tell but she mever talks about it :/ i never was brave enought to ask her anything... then she gaing some weight, then loss again and so and so but idk, i want to know about this topic. Thank u Sarah!

I have been bullied about anorexia for years and I have never been anorexic. Simply because I was slim everyone told me I was anorexic and even my ex bf criticised me having a leg gap and a small frame and tried to force me to eat in front of him to prove I wasn’t anorexic. I’ve actually struggled with binge eating ironically for them.

Yes yes yes.. thank you sooo much for stating that ours bodies RUN on carbohydrates and that it is not possible to cut out carbs and sustain that!

In your update video from last week or the week before that you mentioned how you took a class that teaches you how to act if someone is having a mental health first aid attack. Could you make a brief video about those topics discussed in that class? I believe it would be useful for many people including myself as you say in that video we don't get taught that in school. Thanks if you read this and consider this idea.

I have 2 favorite KZreadrs. And both have been sponsored by betterhelp... might use it

My therapist and I don't think I have an eating disorder, but when my depression hits really hard I completely lose my appetite and the energy to eat and/or cook so I'm struggling to stay healthy and get the calories that I need.

@eev14

6 жыл бұрын

That's a sign of heavy depression but not an eating disorder, it could be classified as 'disordered eating' behaviour however, meaning that it is abnormal and possibly unhealthy eating but usually a side effect of something else you're dealing with.

what do you think about the „ketogenic diet“?

My sister had a similar experience as you did where she almost got to the point of having an eating disorder but she realized it and stopped. She was prompted by her boyfriend who would always tell her she was too chubby for him and he'd actually send her pictures of women he thought were more attractive and prompt her to look more like them. She barely ate then, it was scary. But luckily she left that loser and gained some weight back and she's healthy now.

My best friend is currently struggling with an eating disorder and she recently read Ruby Tandoh's book 'Eat Up' and she really recommends it!! I've read a few passages and it is so well written and as someone who, like Sarah, has struggled with disordered eating but not a 'fully fledged' eating disorder in the past I can totally see how it would be very helpful for people in recovery! :-) Plus I'm pretty sure Ruby Tandoh has experienced an eating disorder herself so she's not naive about the topic.

I don't have an eating disorder, but I just want to share this because I've never been comfortable enough to share it with anyone but I think this is the perfect chance. Here goes. So, I've always been the kind of person who doesn't hate how I look 24/7. I'm ok with myself and how I look, so for me it has nothing to do with "I need to be pretty like I these other people" or whatever. I don't know why I'm like this. I just am for some reason and maybe that's why I'm reaching out to everyone here: I want to understand myself more. So I have this thing where I am extremely conscious about what I eat and when and my weight. I get upset and feel out of control when I eat something like a small bowl of ice cream. Then I try and restrict myself from eating any snacks or anything until mealtime because I'm like "you ate something unhealthy!!! Be healthy!!! Bad!!" It's difficult to explain, but I'll try my best. So I feel really out of control, like I said, but I can't stop it. If I'm in the kitchen, hungry, and I find a box of cookies in the pantry's snack bin, I'm going to take one. But I regret it and I'm like "you shouldn't have done that, that's unhealthy. You're not taking care of yourself." and it feels so shitty, all the time. In my head I'll try and restrict myself and say "ok can't eat this or this or this" but in the end I'll eat it anyway, and then feel shitty. And I guess it's horrible to me because I don't know why or what it is and I feel like it's normal but it feels so shitty and I've always been the person who doesn't and shouldn't care and isn't perceived to think about these things and I hate talking about it because it's so uncomfortable for me. Like I'll be getting some popcorn and a small bag of skittles plus some pop at the movie theater? Oh, no, you're so unhealthy! You can't have all this in two hours! Are you crazy? That's so much sugar and calories! And I worry NON-STOP about what I eat and what other people will think about what I'm eating and when. It's especially present on weekends when I don't really have a set eating schedule and just eat whenever I'm hungry which in itself probably isn't good for me. I was thinking maybe it was like a side thing of my anxiety?? I don't know. And I don't know how normal this type of thinking is either. And I need to know because it's scary and makes me feel like a piece of shit. I've also had thoughts of just going through periods where I just don't eat or row it up to "fix it." And that thinking in itself is scary because even though I know the damage eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia can do my mind still tells me it'll help me control it better and it'll be good for me or will make me healthier. Can anybody help in any way? Seriously, any help is appreciated.

@skylerjones2689

6 жыл бұрын

Im not a doctor or anything, but that kind of sounds like the early signs of developing an eating disorder you don't just wake up one day and have an eating disorder it starts off with little things and leads up to a big problem. Be carful cause if you act on those thoughts it will be the biggest regret of your life, they will take away everything that makes you happy all your friends your family you will feel physically awful you cant do anything cause you cant concentrate, you'll feel weak and faint all the time and you will wish you were dead. All the voices saying that it will give you control or help you are false. Please be very carful if you think you might be developing an eating disorder you should reach out for help immediately before you fall too deep into it.

@missoringasm7144

6 жыл бұрын

Skyler Jones Ok, thank you so much. I've since been getting better and telling myself "you know you're healthy, you can snack when you're hungry, just don't overdo it!" And things like that to get a healthy middle.

Sarah if you have not can you make a video about Dysthmia

Wow it's such a coincidence this is the ED awareness week, when I'm finally going to make an appointment about it. I think now even though I am interested in seeking help after years, I am terrified I won't be taken seriously & turned away. It's so easy to slip into believing nothing is wrong. I've only told my roomate, and I wish I could take it back, because I hate to have someone worry about me, but the accountability might be invaluable. *trigger* I feel like crap after eating almost nothing then throwing it up and then trying to survive off caffeine pills. Then I feel bad I can't just push through it and ace all my classes. For me, I'm heavy, and I look at others who suffer from an ED and think "I'm not as sick as them so they're stronger than me, and they need help not me. They went 10 days without a meal and I only went 6 so they're stronger than me" and objectively these things sound ridiculous, but it's constantly in my head. It's exhausting! I have hope for the future though.

i really wish you had talked more about bulimia and not just restricting. a really toxic thing that happened when i was in inpatient is that a lot of the groups were about dealing with weight restoration and the damage that restriction can do, but there was very little talk about recovery when you don’t need to weight restore or the effects purging has on your body. i wish bulimia wasn’t treated as a “gross” disorder and anorexia wasn’t so glorified and acceptable.

This video is very interesting ! Actually I realise only recently I was concerned by eating disorder, mostly because it happened when I was much younger than today but also because I never really heard about people having the same kind of disorder. I use to be "phobic swallowin", when I was around 7, my family and I were on the couch watching TV and we were eating Sneakers , I had already ate half of it when sudently I couldn't swallow any more bite without any reason, and from this moment and during almost 2 years after that I could only eat liquid food (soup) or mashed potatoes which is very disturbing. At school it was difficult, mostly at lunch because every children were supposed to eat or at least try even if they didn't like the food, and even for myself and my social life I tried to eat to not attracked people intention on me and my "problem" but I just couldn't swallow so at every meal I stocked the food in my mouth to spit it out in my table napkin after, but one day one of the lady who clear the table took my napkin to clean the plates stacked at the end of the table and when she took it, the food I had spit out went all over her hand and she made a shout of surprise and everybody was looking at me, I was so ashamed ! At home it was very complicated because my parents didn't know if I was just making a scene or if I had a real problem, so at every meal I was "forced" to stay at the table and swallow my food but I just couldn't so every time it ended with me running to the trash and spit my food out, but this was only at the begining, after they were completly understanding and helpfull. After that it became a little worse, I started to having difficulties to swallow my own saliva which brought even more stress and anguish. So I went 2 times at the hospital, and both stays lasted 1 month and finally because none of those stays worked I went to a psychiatric hospital and it was very hard. It was an hospital for children and I was the one with the "less important" problems so I was confronted to violent children and a lot of other different type of mental illness and this is very violent for children I think, I remember a boy who almost broke my neck because he couldn't control his strength and an orher boy who sudently in front of you would just undressed himself, I wasn't able to see my parent at all, I was deprived to participate to some activites, for exemple at Easter I had to stay in my room and watch through my window the other children searching the eggs, it sound silly but when you are a child it's very violent to be treaded like that by strangers in a place you don't know because you are not at home, also an other time their was a cooking activity and we made cookies, I remember I thought it was really fun and we were supposed to eat them at lunch, and even if i couldn't swallow solid food I wanted to try and at least have the taste of it in my mouth, because as a kid spend 2 years without eating cookies it's very long, and the "monitor" told me "if you don't finish your plate, yon will not eat your cookie"... How stupid ??! I mean you can't expect someone who didn't eat any solid food in 2 years to finish his plate even if he wants to, so I looked the cookie during all the lunch (I couldn't eat) and after that I went to my room with an empty stomach. Of course when I couldn't eat at all what was in my plate they didn't let me strarving and they would bring me soup or something I could eat but steal it was hard, some monitors were not nice at all even in the way they looked at me, I felt like I wasn't enough normal to live my life normally but not to be in a psychiatric hospital neither, I felt so alone. Finally without really knowing why I started to eat again and now I love food more than ever and I'm feeling in control, I'm even became vegetarian and I never think about my passed issues/troubles, i'm quite in peace now ! So if someone had or have the same issue I had, please tell me ! ;) And Sarah if you have any information about this type of eating disorder it would be awsome because I still don't know much about it ^^'. Ps: Sorry for the bad english, I'm french, be gentle with me X)

I can't watch this video because my eating disorder is kinda coming back and i want to ignore it all i can, but i'm sure it is great!

@elo9477

6 жыл бұрын

A cat in disguise hey hey!! i Hope it’ll get better as soon as possible, stay strong💓💓

@noface17244

6 жыл бұрын

elodie thank you ❤

@kimwildxx

6 жыл бұрын

💜

@sallybatboy

6 жыл бұрын

Stay strong, love. I hope you’re healthy one day

@user-uq6vn6yw9o

6 жыл бұрын

A cat in disguise I’m rooting for you. Stay strong!!!!

Fuck eating disorders honestly - restriction and binging are some of the scariest feelings in the world. I’m trying to eat healthier now but jesus it’s difficult, good for Catlin (?) for getting through everything she is.

@caitlinwatson9812

6 жыл бұрын

Thankyou xx

This is an important video & I think you did it in a way to say the facts without being disrespectful or stereotypical. Currently I’m inpatient for anorexia x

I think the worst myth about eating disorders is that it only affects skinny people. When someone looks at me they don’t expect that I am suffering from it because I don’t look like the typical person to suffer from that so it makes my feelings and experiences seem invalid

My mother was talking to my doctor about how skinny I used to be, and how I've suddenly started gaining so much weight. I finally admitted that the reason I was so skinny was because I had a eating disorder. My mom didn't say anything, and never brings it up.

does anyone know what app she was talking about? i've tried a lot of diet/exercise apps so it would be good to know which ones to avoid

I have been diagnosed with anorexia and I never actually got to a point in which I collapsed or fainted or was at a super dangerous weight but I struggled with weight gain and weight loss for 4 years with constant relapses. The instagram pro ana community is truly terrible and filed my mental illness insanely bad. I’m trying for the millionth time for recovery and have been for a couple months and I actually feel hopeful this time. I don’t know if this helps anyone but I’d love to answer questions anyone would have if it’d help. Eating disorders are hell so I’d like to try pull anyone semi out of the hole it is if I can.

This video made me think about the movie To the bone

Ive been using better help for the past 2 months and it’s so incredible

I haven’t watched the video all the way through, but I would love to know what counts as an eating disorder. I feel I make unhealthy eating habits and I want to know when unhealthy becomes dangerous

@christinajensen7488

6 жыл бұрын

www.nationaleatingdisorders.org While I LOVE that Sarah is using this opportunity to bring awareness to a dangerous and very serious issue, as a mental health professional, I can say trying to get information from the internet can be very dangerous. Make sure you're looking at nationally accredited sources and actually reach out and talk to a professional if you're concerned. Even your PCP can be a great place to start. Bottom line - ED's are a symptom of a much larger mental health issue.

@Em_Elizabeth

2 жыл бұрын

Same, I can't say I have a proper eating disorder but can take religious fasting to extremes or run on empty for full days because I'm too busy.

There was a 'lose weight in 8 weeks' ad... KZread had ONE job.

i just find it sick how so many people don´t know what BED is,especially since it´s the most common ed. I had BED for 6 months and it was so so horrible. trying to restrict, which mostly only lasted three days, until i binged and ate and ate until i felt like my stomach was going to rip open. Lying in bed, crying because it hurt so much physically and mentally. I felt like it would always be different and never fit in. but then this developed into bulimia, and sickly enough, i feel better about myself.

@louisac303

6 жыл бұрын

my co-morbid EDNOS developed out of BED and I totally empathise - just know that you'll never feel as good about yourself while ill as you can when you're recovered and you're able to love your body regardless of how it looks, and love yourself regardless of how in control you feel

@ds7461

6 жыл бұрын

louisa rosalie mcnair thank you, i'm sorry you also had to struggle with eating disorders. Stay strong♥️

Also, I don't know if youll see this but... I have an internet friend who has been telling me how he's not eating, or doesn't eat a lot because he's worried he'll gain weight even though he's very skinny, and I think it's a problem. Do you have any tips on what to say to people who are struggling with this, or something I can do to help? I'd love if you made a video on that if you haven't already!

@proudbooklion2094

6 жыл бұрын

Hey, best thing is to show him that you are there for him. Do not accuse or assume, just tell him that you're always there for him and maybe say that "I've noticed that you rarely say that you eat, are okay? You want to talk about anything? Etc. I know how hard it is to have internet friends with mental illnesses, EDS among those but I got my support from the online world and I'm in recovery today, very strong one actually :) Open yourself up and let him come to you. I wish you the best of luck

@azuradawn5683

6 жыл бұрын

Totally agree with what ProudBooklion said - being there for him is the absolute best thing you can do. I would also add maybe finding some professional and respected sources about eating disorders. Do some reading for yourself to have a better understanding of what your friend is going through and, if the opportunity presents (if he brings it up or talks about it further with you, for instance), maybe share some helpful resources with him.

@ala4935

6 жыл бұрын

Done whichu it's true that being there for people is important as a friend, but enabling is not okay and not everyone knows the difference.

@donewitheveryone2689

6 жыл бұрын

ProudBooklion thank you so much! It is tough having online friends who are mentally since there's only so much you can do, but I'll take your advice and try to be gentle on him :)

@donewitheveryone2689

6 жыл бұрын

Melissa Michael that's a great idea! Thank you for the advice, I'll do more research on the subject and find some resources that could be of help to him :)

idk if this makes sense or not but does dying because of an eating disorder count as suicide??

I think one of my friends has an eating disorder but I'm not sure so it would be helpful if people told me their opinions. My friend is overweight and has been bullied about it for a long time and probably about a year ago she started to go on a diet and would go to group sessions for it etc. She now skips meals and she'll tell me that she's missed out a certain meal and we'll be in a lesson and I'll hear her stomach rumbling but she will say she doesn't feel hungry. Although she's still overweight she's trying to reach a weight of six stone which is way underweight for our age (we're 16, our age you're supposed to be anywhere from 7 and a half to around 9/10 stone to be healthy) and I think she might get obsessed with losing weight so in the future she might become too thin.

one thing i find pretty annoying is when people don´t understand it in the slightest and believe they used to have an eating disorder bc they ate very little during high school and then magically recovered. totally ignoring the fact that the eating habits are just a symptom and the real disorder is in your head.

@ds7461

6 жыл бұрын

oops sry if it sounded like i was talking about you!i really wasn´t!!

(ED trigger) how good are the odds on the app being MyFitnessPal? bc 100% I used it as a vehicle for my co-morbid ED behaviours and remembering how it helped me hurt myself is hella triggering every time I come across it now.

I have Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder which I didn’t even know was a thing until my therapist bought it up to me last week, I do not eat hot food or anything that has milk (like cereal or oatmeal) in and we haven’t discussed treatment yet and whenever I tell my friends about it they’re always like “you’re not skinny enough to have an ed” and I’m like bitch ???

My older cousin downloaded an app like that, not gonna say the name of the app but all she did was drink energy drink things & she got really sick.

hiya

I really hate when people chalk up Eating Disorders as vainglorious pursuits. (Oh, you are just being vain.) For me my Eating Disorders were a way for me to feel successful about something in my life (since I feel like a failure in everything else). And as a literal means to an end. Intellectually I know that if I stay sick I will die. And that also ties into my MDD, Bipolar, and suicidal ideation very well. It's a way out.

I didn't realize I had a eating disorder, in middle school/freshman year, until recently. I would not eat breakfast or lunch. I would drink water or chew mint gum. When I got home I would binge eat so my parents wouldn't realize I had a problem. I would also excerise all night long. I was so skinny. When I got to my sophomore year of high school I started gaining weight because I was on medication for my mental disorders. I gained weight so quicky, and it shocked everyone, but I didn't care because I was finally happy, and comfortable with myself on medication. I am overweight now, because nearly all my medication for my mental illnesses cause weight gain. I don't care because I would rather be happy and fat, than skinny and miserable

Check out to the bone on netflix... interesting watch. Drama film, not documentary

I love youuuuuuuuu😍