Dr. Henry Cloud on When to Withhold Trust

This week, Dr. Henry Cloud joins us to talk about when to withhold trust. Trust is key for relationships. It makes everything work. But at what point is it safe to say a person is unable to be trusted? Dr. Cloud will answer that question today. We'll also explore emotional regulation, how to develop discernment, and why "believing the best" might actually be bad advice.
#WinTodayWithChristopherCook #drhenrycloud #mentalhealth
Self-help and life hacks help, but they will not turn the key to total life transformation that lasts. And creating a plan for sustainable transformation is what “Win Today” is all about. Each week on the podcast, we'll engage in thought-provoking conversations with world-renowned leaders, bestselling authors, and experts-in-field who will help you design your roadmap to wholeness from the inside out, so you will live at your best in your relationships, in your mental and emotional health, and in your personal and spiritual growth. Past guests include James Clear, Jason Wilson, Destiny's Child's Michelle Williams, Michael Hyatt, Dr. John Townsend, Carey Nieuwhof, Bob Goff, Morgan Harper Nichols, Christine Caine, John Eldredge, Dr. Caroline Leaf, and more.
Subscribe to my channel so you catch all our episodes. Find the show notes and more at WINTODAY.tv/episode287. And you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter @00ChrisCook, and @WINTODAYShow on Facebook.

Пікірлер: 203

  • @MariaSantana-ul5wd
    @MariaSantana-ul5wd6 ай бұрын

    Amen. Our greatest trainwrecks in life are trusting certain people when we shouldn't!

  • @reflax6009

    @reflax6009

    5 ай бұрын

    What if it’s your family?!

  • @holyspiritleadme

    @holyspiritleadme

    5 ай бұрын

    Yes and it's usually family members so sad I trust God Jesus alone in him I trust I don't trust any man

  • @FelicityAnne3

    @FelicityAnne3

    5 ай бұрын

    That includes people in churchs.....and some pastors, sadly

  • @andreab2627

    @andreab2627

    5 ай бұрын

    ​@@reflax6009exactly 😢

  • @KaarinaKimdaly

    @KaarinaKimdaly

    5 ай бұрын

    This why we need to learn the discernment of spirits, which is possible.

  • @stepone6159
    @stepone61595 ай бұрын

    I am so glad that I have my Savior, whom I can trust completely, in all things and all relationships, and the whole council of God in His word to live by.

  • @c.marmion8430

    @c.marmion8430

    4 ай бұрын

    Amen!

  • @RachelSDay1982
    @RachelSDay19824 ай бұрын

    Dr. Cloud's book, Integrity, was life-changing for me. It was a real guide and map to acquire integrity. It's not something that an individual automatically has, but CAN be learned at any age. A transformative book!!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Awesome!

  • @LisaPFrampton

    @LisaPFrampton

    4 ай бұрын

    Thank you for your review, ma'am. I might look into his book after reading your opinion about it.

  • @lf0063

    @lf0063

    4 ай бұрын

    @@LisaPFramptonHi, I’m just responding because my name is Lisa L Frampton!

  • @grannypattie
    @grannypattie4 ай бұрын

    Being vulnerable but also cautious is imperative

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Agreed. Discernment!

  • @YuriHuntington
    @YuriHuntington3 ай бұрын

    LOVE Dr. Cloud! When he says that he's not helping his daughter... oh YES HE IS! He's helping her build resilience, he's helping her with adjusting into the real world, he's helping her to adult! The other person who called Dr. Cloud harsh probably did not recognize the long term help Dr. Cloud is providing to his daughter.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    3 ай бұрын

    Glad you enjoyed the show!

  • @Soul-On-Fire-4-Truth
    @Soul-On-Fire-4-Truth6 ай бұрын

    44 years,I'm done 😮😮said I don't deserve respect 1 times to many....

  • @beyondandback

    @beyondandback

    5 ай бұрын

    ❤🙏

  • @heide-raquelfuss5580
    @heide-raquelfuss55804 ай бұрын

    Trust. My life went down the curb with trusting people. When i was a baby, toddler i had a perfect working 'gut feeling' and basically almost never trusted anyone, based on my gut feeling. After growing up, i was SOCIALIZED to 'fit in' in society. Big mistake! Socialization is the biggest mistake we ever made. It is a lie. We are all strangers to eachother and we did not grow up together since babyhood, so everyone is behaving as an apex predator, not as a friend, or potential friend. My experience... Most want to use you, without any intention to be a genuine friend. People who say > trust me... RUN AS FAR AND FAST AS YOU CAN.

  • @m.935

    @m.935

    4 ай бұрын

    True, that's why I decided to be stay at home mom with my son.

  • @maricamaas2326

    @maricamaas2326

    3 ай бұрын

    We are in good company - following Jesus' example: He did not trust people, because He knew what was in them.

  • @heide-raquelfuss5580

    @heide-raquelfuss5580

    3 ай бұрын

    @@maricamaas2326 I think he DID TRUST PEOPLE, otherwise he would of NOT BEING BETRAYED by one? Or more? I do not trust The Lord, who put all humans in a mess, because HE was the CREATOR of EVERYTHING and i do not TRUST ANYMORE HUMANS, because THE LORD made HUMANS who are not TRUSTWORTHY. I am done to trust. But i still make mistakes in trusting people and then...i could slap my face again...

  • @darcyd2680

    @darcyd2680

    3 ай бұрын

    Instead hug yourself if it happens 😊 don't be your own enemy​@@heide-raquelfuss5580

  • @justb4116

    @justb4116

    3 ай бұрын

    If no one would have betrayed him, trust would be of less significance Considering the events were known in advance, he was trusted to betray It had to be that way It has to be this way Mar 13-7

  • @FaithoverFear24
    @FaithoverFear245 ай бұрын

    I wish my boys could go outside for hours unsupervised and explore, create, but in today’s world it is not safe without a doubt. It’s not what it used to be where neighbors would watch out for each others children, mothers (parent) were home! Neighborhoods (communities) back in the day, watched out for most children. If women were respected more back in the day we wouldn’t have women working and away from there homes and children, were most women want to be, in the home. They have to prove there value to society. I can say this because I am a women. Our society as a foundation is so imbalanced in regards to family values, ethics and morals etc…Love your show! 😊

  • @lemostjoyousrenegade

    @lemostjoyousrenegade

    5 ай бұрын

    Well said, Shannon. Very well. 😘♥️

  • @KaarinaKimdaly

    @KaarinaKimdaly

    5 ай бұрын

    I agree. I am 66 and grew up in a small town, where the neighbor children could play together outside, and visit their friends. It was as you say, most mothers worked as stay at home mothers. THAT is a noble and necessary--VITAL--profession, and it should be respected by everyone. The truism/cliche 'the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world ' comes to mind. . . My point is the absolute necessity of mentally healthy parenting in the family of origin. With the omnipresence, generally, of technology today, specifically cell phones and computers, parenting, even with an adequately judicious effort and commitment, presents intrusive challenges which did not exist before. Add on to that a sped -up world, and both parents working outside the home, Very often, addictions to screens, and living in an urban environment and a society that is too often based on consumerism that tries to create desires by appealing to people's fears, and no wonder so many people do not live from the heart and with wisdom.

  • @stregalilith

    @stregalilith

    4 ай бұрын

    We all need to look out for each other's children and everyone needs community. We are in a state of transition that's not comfortable but we won't get there by going back. There should be one stay at home parent at home in each family and we should all be linking together to raise our children but that parent should be the one most willing, the one most dedicated to the children not necessarily the mother. Fathers deserve to participate in the day to day raising of babies and children and mothers should be able to support their families financially with meaningful work. And all of us need to redefine what our material needs are, separate from our wants in order to restore the small town community bonds we grew up with.

  • @kenbedroske8718

    @kenbedroske8718

    19 күн бұрын

    I'm 67. I was able to ride my bike for hours in an urban environment; the only negative consequence was blistering sunburn.

  • @blessed7927
    @blessed79277 ай бұрын

    This was so good not only because of the guest but the interviewer asked FANTASTIC real world questions! I enjoyed this immensely!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    6 ай бұрын

    Thank you so much!

  • @one-step-at-a-time-curiosity
    @one-step-at-a-time-curiosity5 ай бұрын

    I've so needed this! I can't even begin to fully explain. However it seems I've never understood how I should trust someone because I wasn't taught in my childhood. It was always paired with manipulation or just doing because of obedience. So even though I know Gd has always been with me I haven't known what it is to properly trust (and therefore maintain healthy boundaries). I'd just try to do the work of my job's contract per protocol. In marriage it's been about doing Gd's will, but I haven't really learned to even have a proper relationship with myself because the needs of others has been more important then mine. Of course I mattered somehow but I haven't understand when I sacrifice for the well being of another vs taking care of myself. I've always chased after love thinking love is the answer. It is. But it looks like love cannot be present without the trust being there first in a healthy relationship?. I'm on my second time listening to this video already in today's morning. I want to remember this information so I can verbalize it and remember it in my daily walk in Christ. 💘. Thank you for this video!

  • @kat-yy

    @kat-yy

    4 ай бұрын

    Integration !

  • @shepraysdaily
    @shepraysdailyАй бұрын

    “So many conflicts go away when people feel heard.” Amen! 🙏🏼

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you for watching!

  • @jasonayres
    @jasonayres4 ай бұрын

    (45:00) "Forgiveness is about the past. Trust is about the future." This is nothing short of prophetic for my life at the moment, within the context of some dramas I'm going through. Interesting discussion. Thanks for your (collective) efforts.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @gevdarg
    @gevdarg5 ай бұрын

    Great advice unless someone is lying or being manipulative.

  • @gypsymarquis
    @gypsymarquis4 ай бұрын

    Excellent question: discernment or suspicion?

  • @margueritebaca3921
    @margueritebaca39214 ай бұрын

    "... be strong enough to negotiate anything..." Yes, that's a worthy aspiration. Thank you for asking the doctor to unpack the fear/need issue.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    You’re welcome!

  • @jobethrozelle7492
    @jobethrozelle74926 ай бұрын

    Yes I’m stalking Dr Cloud he is helping the Lord to heal me ! I just want to thank them both!💕💕💕

  • @shannonjones-yq8jy
    @shannonjones-yq8jy4 ай бұрын

    Hallelujah! I just loved the last comments to invite a pattern check-in, involving trust. However, I am concerned that there aren't very many patterns besides being overly trusting of people and too revealing of my personal life. And most of the time, that went very well in my relationships.... Until further down the road, I realized that I excel in trustworthiness and my relationships were always a crap shoot. Perhaps hastiness was the culprit!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Awesome! Thanks for watching!

  • @californiastars
    @californiastarsАй бұрын

    Dr. Cloud makes it look easy. So much respect for him. A good good human.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    Ай бұрын

    Agreed!

  • @randomactivitiesco.5848
    @randomactivitiesco.58485 ай бұрын

    The school yard is a waste. All of the most accomplished people in history started work early, were around adults most of the time, and held to high standards. Go. Read. Biographies. The school yard is just a sick place for kids to bang on eachother or practice on eachother the abuse brought on them by abusive families.

  • @KaarinaKimdaly

    @KaarinaKimdaly

    5 ай бұрын

    You may be right to a point. But Dr. White cloud seems to mean that it is a place to interact with peers and learn social skills, be challenged and grow. The caveat is that children need wise and responsive parents, school personnel and teachers, who can actually listen when problems occur and guide them, when necessary, in the art of problem solving..

  • @reflax6009
    @reflax60095 ай бұрын

    That’s why we should provide for ourselves and not get demanding like parents need to give us love when we are grown up but train to provide for our inner child

  • @lanemorrison4145
    @lanemorrison41454 ай бұрын

    God bless Dr. Cloud! Great advice and teaching on this subject! 👍

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @sundipowellrn8258
    @sundipowellrn82585 ай бұрын

    this is exactly how I believe kids should be raised! thank you

  • @michelekurlan2580
    @michelekurlan25805 ай бұрын

    I often like to use the word "worthy" in place of "the right" or "entitled to" or "deserve" e.g. I am worthy of a good life" This implies that there is some amount of responsibility, on my part, to make whatever it is, happen. Was waiting for the "N" buzzword to come up, and it did. Not all ceo's are narcissists. We appreciate and TRUST Dr. Cloud's answer, based upon his professional experience, and having listened to him on New Life Live, and books. He's earned our regard over the years👍👏

  • @Mushroom321-

    @Mushroom321-

    4 ай бұрын

    Agreeed!!!!, THANK YOU !!! 😮😮😲👏👏👏

  • @Mushroom321-

    @Mushroom321-

    4 ай бұрын

    I / we ARE WORTHY of happiness!! By having our OWN thoughts, feelings. Etc. 😃

  • @abbyxiong3931
    @abbyxiong39315 ай бұрын

    I just bought your audiobook. Thank you for having this interview and sharing it on here. This has been something I am working. I was diagnosed severe depression and also have complex childhood trauma. I am so excited to get started. Thank you again!

  • @Grands-1234
    @Grands-1234Ай бұрын

    I can forgive many many times, that does not mean Im going to trust that person as many times.. not even close!!

  • @1965gracebug
    @1965gracebug4 ай бұрын

    Amazing how Yah brings an answer when needed. I've been praying for the past couple days for wisdom and this video popped up in my feed. I did not even search this out. I am going to get the book and allow Yah to teach me. I am in a situation that I have something was exposed when I was not looking for it but the person denies and blames me for not trusting them. Thank you!

  • @kristinbeazley6538
    @kristinbeazley65385 ай бұрын

    I absolutely love Dr. Cloud! He is a long long time favorite of mine. Practically "Hero" status in my best estimation.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    5 ай бұрын

    Same here!

  • @one-step-at-a-time-curiosity

    @one-step-at-a-time-curiosity

    5 ай бұрын

    Wow, today I just discovered him. How blessed anyone is to have his words if wisdom. I feel like he just shed light on what I have been struggling to find an answer to my whole life. Praise Gd for people who walk secure in Christ and shine their Gd given light in the world. Great saltiness here.

  • @caroldonaldson5936

    @caroldonaldson5936

    4 ай бұрын

    If you gave a 'hero' look again - you have diminished yourself in some way!

  • @bobbiG3008
    @bobbiG30085 ай бұрын

    This was so good! First time hearing Dr. Cloud and first time hearing the interviewer also. Will be following both! Excellent!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    5 ай бұрын

    Awesome, thank you!

  • @cyndi5510
    @cyndi55106 ай бұрын

    Thank You so Much for Sharing Golden Content 🕊️💙🙏🏼

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    6 ай бұрын

    Thank you for watching!

  • @godnuggets9148
    @godnuggets91487 ай бұрын

    Amen 🙏🏽 so true

  • @christiansmith-of7dt
    @christiansmith-of7dt5 ай бұрын

    Ive done all of this at my own personal expense

  • @followerofchrist4064
    @followerofchrist40647 күн бұрын

    Wow!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    7 күн бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @vickimann3262
    @vickimann32627 ай бұрын

    Fear seems to dominate

  • @samuelarredondo-ef5lm
    @samuelarredondo-ef5lm4 ай бұрын

    Wow just listening to this for a few minutes brought clarity and understanding about a recent issue i had with someone. . . I walked around a couple days vacillating between condemnation and questioning , so basically the confusion is cleared up with one thing Dr.Cloud pointed out. . . If somebody is being honest and they are trustworthy , questioning them shouldnt be a thing they take as offensive. . . Theyre fine being an open book with you -- transparent and willing to assure you that their motives and intentions are all for your well being. . . Not that accusatory or critical suspicions are at play on my part - but based on some past experiences with an individual - i needed assurance that those issues are resolved and are no longer of concern in regards to a healthy relationship going forward. When the person ducks out and regards questioning as an affront - thats a red flag for sure. But i will keep praying for him. I will never give up on my son. I know God is merciful and powerful.... at the same time i must stay out of Gods way and trust Him to take care of my son while i stand on the promises of God believing and trusting Him with my loved one.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    So glad it helped!

  • @beyondandback
    @beyondandback5 ай бұрын

    I had or have abandonment issues.

  • @user-mf7ll4nm4n
    @user-mf7ll4nm4n4 ай бұрын

    So very very true.

  • @DaleRFetz
    @DaleRFetz4 ай бұрын

    Thank you, Henry Cloud!

  • @MichaelJ843
    @MichaelJ843 Жыл бұрын

    Hi Chris, thank you for this podcast. We need your podcasts, thanks for your labor of Love.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    Жыл бұрын

    So kind. Thank you!

  • @randiclark1
    @randiclark14 ай бұрын

    Time well spent today.

  • @user-mf7ll4nm4n
    @user-mf7ll4nm4n4 ай бұрын

    I definitely have commitment phobia.Have been betrayed too many times.I do not disclose my faults,sexual experience s to anyone who is anything other than a fully trained and registered therapist. Be exceptional cautious around this.There is much creepiness out there in all kinds of organisations. There is no serenity in this

  • @beyondandback
    @beyondandback5 ай бұрын

    Replay 💯 so far.. i use to Trust everyone and thing and i was targeted by a group of people very bad people and. And now healing from Trauma diagnosed PTSD

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    5 ай бұрын

    Praying for you!

  • @Mushroom321-

    @Mushroom321-

    4 ай бұрын

    Definitely horrible!!! 😬😾

  • @noreenmadison951
    @noreenmadison9516 ай бұрын

    Wow! Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you Dr. Cloud!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    6 ай бұрын

    So glad.

  • @nurseannesinspirationalwellnes
    @nurseannesinspirationalwellnes4 ай бұрын

    Thanks 🙏🏽

  • @user-fe8bf5mh5n
    @user-fe8bf5mh5n5 ай бұрын

    In any conversation no matter the age it's much better to have more question (?) marks then explanation ( ! ) marks.

  • @margueritebaca3921
    @margueritebaca39214 ай бұрын

    Super Value-Packed!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @jackaroyan2451
    @jackaroyan24515 ай бұрын

    Trust in the Lord !! Woo Hoo !! Our trust is the Lord..

  • @joantaylor468

    @joantaylor468

    4 ай бұрын

    I'm not quite sure we should trust in others nor even ourselves. Americans today resist any form of accountability and thus become loose cannons, dangerous even to themselves!

  • @joantaylor468

    @joantaylor468

    4 ай бұрын

    Trust in The Lord with ALL thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In ALL thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy ways. "Trust others only so far as you can forgive them."

  • @jackaroyan2451

    @jackaroyan2451

    4 ай бұрын

    @@joantaylor468 how true were always praying for God to protect us from ourselves, trust in God only

  • @lindamolyneux3536
    @lindamolyneux35364 ай бұрын

    Wow, this is foundational and to understand this can change everything ! Can't wait to read this book! Thanks!!

  • @breaktherules6035
    @breaktherules603510 ай бұрын

    EXcellent insights! THANK YOU so much for sharing!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    10 ай бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321-4 ай бұрын

    Great topic !!& conversation!! 😮

  • @lindafogarty3924
    @lindafogarty39245 ай бұрын

    Excellent interview and I’m going to buy a few of his books today. I just found your channel and I’m a new subscriber.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    5 ай бұрын

    Welcome aboard! So thankful you’re here. I hope the channel helps you! I’d love for you to check out my forthcoming book, too. Get a FREE sneak peek at healingwhatyoucanterase.com. The book will be out March 19. Blessings to you!

  • @cyndi5510
    @cyndi55106 ай бұрын

    ❤❤❤

  • @nunuallen4327
    @nunuallen43274 ай бұрын

    Wow love this.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    So glad!

  • @jrblack78
    @jrblack785 ай бұрын

    So what do you do if you are married to someone you don’t trust emotionally? They are just never present, and when they try to be it’s all out of people-pleasing, not true sincerity? Do you tell them you don’t trust them?

  • @KJ-lb4tj

    @KJ-lb4tj

    5 ай бұрын

    Why would you do that?. You just get on and do it... Don't trust them

  • @jillmtaylor9229

    @jillmtaylor9229

    4 ай бұрын

    Find a way to the truth. What is it you don’t trust?

  • @cookiesmom584

    @cookiesmom584

    4 ай бұрын

    You just keep working on yourself, doing self healing, and your next step will be revealed. Talking to them about their actions won’t to change them. Getting into a good 12 step recovery group will help.

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321-4 ай бұрын

    Yep!!, we can hear " just trust me " when the person is showing their body language of not doing trust.. 😮

  • @GodsgalMN
    @GodsgalMN4 ай бұрын

    This Dr. is extremely Wise!! I've read his books and learned a great deal. Thank you. 🙏🏼

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    You are very welcome!

  • @dee0731
    @dee07314 ай бұрын

    This is so good thank you

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Thank you too!

  • @Ashley-Mosely
    @Ashley-Mosely3 ай бұрын

    I feel like I’m listening to a CS Lewis book this is so deep and so wise I have to keep pausing to let these nuggets sink in

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    3 ай бұрын

    Incredible. Thank you. I hope you enjoy the channel. I encourage you to check out my new book, “Healing What You Can’t Erase,” here: amzn.to/43m0xl7

  • @gabrielakarl3859
    @gabrielakarl38594 ай бұрын

    Wow!!!!!.....thiS interview was so informative and clear ann concise!!! Thank you

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @beulahbranson4206
    @beulahbranson42065 ай бұрын

    This is really good. However, what do you do when you have a fantastic teenage boy who is fetal alcohol affected with high anxiety and compulsive behaviors with an intense personality, because he wants so badly to impress someone his age and be accepted… but runs up against mean rejection constantly. Except with adults. They’re so impressed by him. He can hardly read and numbers mean nothing to him. But his creativity is out the roof. He’s an amazing musician, no lessons, his pitch is literally perfect. On our farm he’s unbelievable with the equipment. He runs every piece of equipment perfectly, he hears when something is wrong and knows exactly what it is. But he’s lonely for friendship and acceptance from his own age group. But their so mean and rude and hurtful. He’s a fabulous young man. He’s been ours since he was 3 weeks old and he is now 16. He’s so precious but so frustrated. He knows he’s different but longs to fit in.

  • @joycewright5386

    @joycewright5386

    5 ай бұрын

    I feel so bad for your son and I was wondering if you belong to a good church? Young Christian youth are usually a lot more understanding and accepting.

  • @neveralone1498

    @neveralone1498

    5 ай бұрын

    I just prayed for your teenager, that his peers would see and appreciate his unique gifts and talents and would treat him kindly. I pray that despite his difficulties with social interactions, that he would be able to learn the skills to mitigate his intense personality and compulsions that he is able to control through instruction, and for healing for those things he cannot change by his own effort. I pray for healing from the fetal alcohol syndrome and from anxiety. (Both are such difficult things.) I thank God for putting loving parents and adults in his life who accept and encourage him, and that he would find great solace in those as he searches forpeers who can do the same. I pray that his unique talents will find their niche and that he will take joy in positive impact they bring to others. Mostly, I pray that He will see his worth in the eyes of the God who lovingly created him and, despite the damages his birth mother did, will understand that he is still valued and valuable. May God bless you all and bring you strength, peace, joy and favor. 🙏💜

  • @brendawarren8424

    @brendawarren8424

    5 ай бұрын

    I was just wondering if there is someone else around who has difficulties that he could befriend?

  • @feelthepeace

    @feelthepeace

    5 ай бұрын

    have you heard of biofeedback (neurotherapy)? Check into that. I can imagine just how heartbreaking this is for all of you. And how very much and deeply you love your son and family. Peace be unto you.

  • @andreab2627

    @andreab2627

    5 ай бұрын

    How brilliant that God placed him with you, to love and nurture him. Praying for wisdom and provision for his life and thriving.

  • @kat-yy
    @kat-yy4 ай бұрын

    Integrity❤

  • @Priceless16
    @Priceless165 ай бұрын

    How do we discern when dealing with high conflict narcissist personalities? Is trust even possible?

  • @KJ-lb4tj

    @KJ-lb4tj

    5 ай бұрын

    Sorry answer, no

  • @KJ-lb4tj

    @KJ-lb4tj

    5 ай бұрын

    Narcissists are all about themselves. No interest in you or your needs. It's never going to be an equal relationship and everything they find out about you will be used against you. As Dr cloud said, be shrewd. Listen to them and reflect back. Give them nothing about you. Trust is not on the cards and should never be expected in that relationship.

  • @10Oceans

    @10Oceans

    5 ай бұрын

    Good question 😢

  • @tnt01

    @tnt01

    5 ай бұрын

    No, stay away.

  • @BeverleyBrooks-bx1ig

    @BeverleyBrooks-bx1ig

    5 ай бұрын

    When dealing with a narcissist, should we ever let them know we think they are narcissistic? In other words, that we know the way they operate and we’re not “trusting” their “bull”, but we’re trying to mend the relationship.

  • @cyndi5510
    @cyndi55106 ай бұрын

  • @joantaylor468
    @joantaylor4684 ай бұрын

    Stretching Stress is good for us!

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Agreed!

  • @zenmaiden1
    @zenmaiden14 ай бұрын

    My question is that the narcissistic people mirror and can completely scan you for your triggers etc , they suck you in with their faux intimacy, care etc . How does this process work with trust? it seems counterintuitive.

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Great question. A big question. Developing discernment and learning to detect and respond to patterns of dysfunction. We see the world as we are, so the healthier we become, well more easily see chaos in relationships.

  • @gloriaschmiesing4532
    @gloriaschmiesing45324 ай бұрын

    The only people who ever said TRUST ME, they were definitely untrustworthy. I will just walk away at that moment.

  • @LisaPFrampton
    @LisaPFrampton4 ай бұрын

    I like that out of all those pictures Dr Cloud has leaning against the wall he's chosen only to hang a paper calendar. 😂😂

  • @elainebraindrain3174
    @elainebraindrain31744 ай бұрын

    Im 68 dont trust any more. Too much abuse.

  • @jtsjtsm7920
    @jtsjtsm79205 ай бұрын

    Excellent advice. There are many other sources of literature to get this same advice. The word god etymologically stems fron Sanskrit, which means invoke. In + voke. In + voice. Invoice = a list of good things that have been purchased or gathered together and can be stored up and used when needed. Knowing how to use the things or ingredients or tools in various patterns requires con- template -ion and ex- perience. Know the word. Understand the real meaning of language and then you understand how to love yourself and others. Learn how to be beneficial by listening and seeing truth via the life application of words that take form from the need to communicate joy, pain, sorrow, desire..... Ear + -th. A sequence of events from begging in formation.

  • @margaritajohns7907
    @margaritajohns79076 ай бұрын

    It’s great to hear you both !! You are so right I have wounds of abandonment and have learned to compromise confronting in order to have peace and forgiving hoping but again I am facing being able to trust my boyfriend for the series of infidelity lock of commitment seeking a dream maybe looking for a mother figure which is his abandonment since childhood. What do I do ?! ⭐️🙏❤️🙏🕊

  • @LindaSevers

    @LindaSevers

    5 ай бұрын

    I would run, not walk, away since you are not already entangled financially.

  • @redhead8777

    @redhead8777

    5 ай бұрын

    He has indicated to you who he is with you. Radically accept that, or not. You will not change him, nor should you seek to. Mutual radical acceptance of Reality is called for! Don't waste time if you are not willing to accept that behavior.

  • @user-mf7ll4nm4n

    @user-mf7ll4nm4n

    5 ай бұрын

    Talk to him.Go for a walk with him.Please communicate And please do not suddenly dump him.This is heartless and cruel.Explain that both of us might get very upset but isn't it true that we care for each other.I have been harshly dumped in the past and I think it's inhumane.

  • @user-mf7ll4nm4n

    @user-mf7ll4nm4n

    5 ай бұрын

    Money isn't everything

  • @KhassiaK

    @KhassiaK

    4 ай бұрын

    I agree that this guy is not worth your investment since he has proven to you that you are not worth his. Learn to believe what people DO vs. what they SAY. Very rarely do people's actions lie, but their words do all the time! I'd highly recommend going to see a therapist who can help you shore up your past personal issues and see your situation (and his) more objectively. In doing so, it will better equip you to make the right decision moving forward and to heal past wounds so you're not locked into relational destructive patterns. If you wanted to lose weight, but we're struggling, no one would think you were weird for recruiting a trainer, dietician, etc. to assist. Why don't we take the same approach with our mental health and relationships? 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @maricamaas2326
    @maricamaas23263 ай бұрын

    For me the most liberating truth was to learn that we need not trust people - similar to Jesus, Who did not trust people, because He knew what was in them.

  • @LindaMarie9
    @LindaMarie94 ай бұрын

    We are supposed to be empty vessels for the Father, in Christ, to fill. The "work" is to keep trusting the Father, in Christ, to complete the good work that HE BEGAN! I suggest a great book called The Deep Things of God by Norman Grubb❤

  • @jackaroyan2451
    @jackaroyan24515 ай бұрын

    Praying you are never confounded.

  • @stevecoffey4884
    @stevecoffey48845 ай бұрын

    At 13:21 how about God's will? The Bible answers many questions on your path. The early Christians were part of "The Way"

  • @joantaylor468
    @joantaylor4684 ай бұрын

    Michael Easter wrote Comfort Crises

  • @WINTODAYChris

    @WINTODAYChris

    4 ай бұрын

    Fabulous book.

  • @amelittaberretta9109
    @amelittaberretta91095 ай бұрын

    So called Friends use hidden cameras to record and betray another. I feel so anxious In my suite, as I am convinced there is a hidden camera in my suite. I feel so strongly about being monitored .I have been so burned by authority and friends who have betrayed me, causing me to live with permanent anxiety. I am alone, i love with permanent anxiety.

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321-4 ай бұрын

    There can be certain aspects of trust or not of trust. 🤔

  • @robinchilds7492
    @robinchilds74924 ай бұрын

    I trusted someone who I later found out was a narcissist

  • @maureentrovato7493
    @maureentrovato74933 ай бұрын

    Just as important as discerning what to trust outside of yourself but also establishing and nurturing trust in one self, right?? Do you agree? Of course trust in God first…

  • @MicMaine
    @MicMaine4 ай бұрын

    TMVTL = Trust More Valuable Than Love

  • @donquihote6023
    @donquihote60235 ай бұрын

    Trust NO ONE! PERIOD!

  • @Jen-b-real
    @Jen-b-real9 күн бұрын

    Isn't Putting the child in a corner,resisting their demand, breaking their will.Téaching them they can't get or do as they will

  • @elizabethberry3754
    @elizabethberry37545 ай бұрын

    Grewi up hearing in church break the will not the spirit 🤔

  • @ta6531
    @ta6531Ай бұрын

    ?? I dont understand " so many conflicts go away when we feel hurt?" What does this mean?

  • @linadixie1

    @linadixie1

    5 күн бұрын

    When they are heard, when they are really understood.

  • @gloriascott633
    @gloriascott6335 ай бұрын

    Move on it’s not your responsibility to shoulders his burden learn to start afar and love him otherwise he will Take you down with him don’t be so desperate, learn to love yourself.

  • @amyrenee1361
    @amyrenee13615 ай бұрын

    So why does the Bible say "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom"?

  • @kathleenmcmullen5384

    @kathleenmcmullen5384

    5 ай бұрын

    I've been pondering this as well. I was thinking about passages in the Bible, like when Mary was visited by the angel who told her she would bear the Christ child and when the shepherds saw the sky full of angels and were filled with fear. I think this was a healthy kind of Holy fear. The type that produces humility towards God, a reverence, an awe of who He is, a desire to please God [not fear of punishment but love and gratitude for all He has done], and an broken and contrite heart also often accompanies Holy fear because we all sin and fall short of God's standard of righteous living. If you look at the Bible passages that describe those who had these heavenly encounters and were afraid, God would tell them not to fear because they had found favor with God. I think God comforts the humble ones who fear, respect and honor Him versus how He responds to the proud. The proud ones described in the Bible are often said to, "Have no fear of God before their eyes." In Proverbs, it describes a proud woman, "the adulterous woman eats and wipes her mouth and says, I've done nothing wrong. " And in the new testament it says, "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble." If God were to give grace [blessings and favor] to the proud, He would be aiding them in sinful choices. The same sinful choices that harden their hearts and destroy the innocence and purity of their souls [which He loves and died to save]. By resisting the proud, He is actually being very loving because it's His kindness to bring a sinning soul to repentance. Fear of the Lord begins wisdom because with this holy fear, the heart becomes soft tender and open to God's guidance. Our sinful hearts so often want ways that are selfish, self centered and only seeking the pleasure of the moment, not caring that it would have consequences that effect our life and those around us for generations to come. But when their is holy fear, the heart is turned away from the lower nature that is full of ego, pride and selfish desires and instead is full of live towards God. God then is able to mold such a heart and renew the mind so that one will desire the things that God desires, the things that are eternal, the things that are holy, pure and true, loving and serving others. Instead of seeking to satisfy the desires of the pride and ego, now the soul is being filled with godly desires and the fruits of the Holy Spirit described in Galations [love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, meekness, long-suffering and self control].

  • @Learningthetruth7

    @Learningthetruth7

    3 ай бұрын

    Research the word "fear" in this verse using the Hebrew word. It is fascinating.

  • @MrsAnson7777
    @MrsAnson77775 ай бұрын

    Dr Cloud's answers are kinda vague.... The interviewer asked GREAT questions, but wha??..... Plus, he laughs at points, for what?

  • @meronmichael
    @meronmichael5 ай бұрын

    8:40 instead of radiating fire you get *inaudible i hate that the interviewer agrees here but i cant understand what dr. Cloud says.

  • @KJ-lb4tj

    @KJ-lb4tj

    5 ай бұрын

    He seems to say instead of radiating fire you just get 'ready ready ready ready'. But likewise i don't know what that means ,🤷. I'm not actually sure the interviewer does either!

  • @lonefaolan6042

    @lonefaolan6042

    5 ай бұрын

    @@KJ-lb4tjI am guessing he meant that when we hold on to someone who is hurtful our trust muscle becomes paralyzed. Instead of moving on from the hurtful relationship, we are at a stand still like being kept “ready” but never moving.

  • @justb4116

    @justb4116

    3 ай бұрын

    I though its a play on 'get set, ready, fire' Get set, ready, ready, ready, ready.....

  • @deborahroseboro7292
    @deborahroseboro72925 ай бұрын

    If you want to walk on water you need to get out of the boat

  • @heatherwhittaker6169
    @heatherwhittaker61694 ай бұрын

    In these times not helping a child who graduated and did everything required...not helping atol is pathetic..What is this arrogant man a doctor of?

  • @user-vp8mf1xp5y
    @user-vp8mf1xp5y4 ай бұрын

    Your too flip.A 48:10 🎉nd anyone could advise this stuff Sure so not wise😂

  • @nargesganjloo393
    @nargesganjloo3934 ай бұрын

    Oh this helicopter parenting sucks 😢😊😂

  • @richellepeace4457
    @richellepeace44575 ай бұрын

    Whenever you meet a human. Relationships and mercy to humans have been the biggest waste of my existence. Maybe God should have punished people instead of loving them and allowing them to destroy.

  • @lynndurbin9476
    @lynndurbin94764 ай бұрын

    So your idea of trial is out into a position you cannot escape; child rape....their escape is dissociation. You are simple minded, certainly not up with real children dilemmas that shape different parts of their brains.

  • @joantaylor468
    @joantaylor4684 ай бұрын

    Re: segment covering about the 25 mm. You're obviously not reckoning in the gender difference! Biblically a young woman should be under her father's home until she marries. However a man should be self-supporting as soon as possible. See the verses about a man keeping his virgin which is his daughter. These precious young Saints do not need to become victims of seduction nor be unprotected out in the world which is our enemy. Perhaps you two men trust too much!

  • @joantaylor468

    @joantaylor468

    4 ай бұрын

    It's become painfully obvious that our young women are thrilled to thrive however our young men return home to Mama as soon as they suffer too much. So, let's return to the Biblical view of responsibility and raise up Men of God who take responsibility for protecting women & children again!

  • @user-vp8mf1xp5y
    @user-vp8mf1xp5y4 ай бұрын

    This guy is goofy 😅

  • @feelthepeace
    @feelthepeace5 ай бұрын

    Dr Cloud, thank you so very much. I just ordered Trust after watching this. Your book with Dr Townsend, "Safe People", helped me beyond explanation. Much gratitude to you! ✌️🫶💪