Envious people can never be true friends

@not-even-german4892

Жыл бұрын

NEVER,.... keep them away.

@mikewilkins2030

Жыл бұрын

My whole family is this way! It’s sad cause I’ve noticed it my whole life and we have never been close!

@evka24

Жыл бұрын

They r by default enemies

@coimbralaw

Жыл бұрын

@@not-even-german4892 what?! Go back and read what you wrote.

@uvw7450

Жыл бұрын

@@coimbralaw lol let's throw some punctuations that way

This guy is spot on. I had several “friends” that were noticeably disappointed when I would share good news with them.

@Schneider624

Жыл бұрын

I think we all had at least one of those friends that would be disappointed, irritated, or in some other way negative. So glad they’re out of my life. We all get envy from time to time but we have to mange that feeling so it doesn’t affect other people or the social dynamic (or whatever it’s called).

@samjohnson4846

Жыл бұрын

Envy is a good thing. It causes you to become a better person because it requires you to achieve more than the person you are envying.

@AsAugustSleeps

Жыл бұрын

@@samjohnson4846 What you are talking about is admiration, not envy. Envy is hateful and makes you want to destroy people. Admiration makes you want to better yourself.

@samjohnson4846

Жыл бұрын

@@AsAugustSleeps yes its true one of the fruits of envy can be admiration, but most of the time the admiration starts as envy.

@samjohnson4846

Жыл бұрын

@@AsAugustSleeps eventually envy blossoms into admiration. Sometimes, but not always.

Most people are envious of brilliant, attractive, charismatic, confident people.

@AndI0td763

2 ай бұрын

Just being attractive is enough to cause others to envy you. Humans generally operate that way, and there’s many people who aren’t happy and content with themselves. These are individuals to avoid as they can be quite dangerous.

@LauraSchendel-ko1qk

Ай бұрын

I have a neighbor who I don’t know well and I have never met anyone in her family. I bought a new car and she said, “My sister would hate you for having that car!”

@miriamhavard7621

Ай бұрын

Are they? 😮 🤔

@anacristinamoura881

21 күн бұрын

True!👍

@fml5910

8 күн бұрын

I know a lot of envious jealous people. A lot of them are broke, or barely have enough money to get by, and live paycheck to paycheck, or off the government. Also a lot of people are envious, and jealous because you're not lazy, and you have the discipline to save, invest, and not blow your money on car payments, going out to eat, drinking, smoking, and gambling at bars.

Envy is wanting to take away or destroy what others have. It is a wholly destructive character trait.

@lemostjoyousrenegade

Жыл бұрын

Well said, Denise.

@emilystevens6335

Жыл бұрын

it is dangerous and as cruel as the grave. get rid of them

@MrGuggisberg

Жыл бұрын

I've wanted to destroy people's memories in relationships. Most people are situationally ethical anyway and only care about what's personally resonating to them.

@vernondodo6404

Жыл бұрын

It's also about the type of energy people have towards you; that, in itself, can be destructive - they don't even have to do anything.

@emilystevens6335

Жыл бұрын

@@vernondodo6404 When I'm threatened my eyes, like a wild lion, diminishes my foe. Energy is very important.

What I seem to deal with are people who are envious of me because I appear contented when they KNOW they have more than me. They're successful, have money, family, all the stuff but they're unhappy. Then they see me with the same old clothes from Walmart not wanting what they have and it drives them crazy. They crave my peace and want to take it from me.

@emilystevens6335

Жыл бұрын

I know the feeling. These are the WORSE kind of jealous people.

@DaisyMaeMoses

Жыл бұрын

I think your way of living is terrific! Never let them change your emotionally healthy lifestyle. You have found what so many seek. Contentment within yourself.

@blaqobsydian44

Жыл бұрын

This is so me, I have no job, no car, no house (I rent haven’t bought) and I’m single. Someone younger than me who has all those things hates on me like I’m living broke just to spite them. Absolutely CRAZY to me 😂

@godslittleprincess5454

Жыл бұрын

Same. It's insane!

@obedirect5491

Жыл бұрын

Well said, Antoinette. And BlaqObysidian is the laugh emoji a defense mechanism?

I have beeen surrounded by people who acted weirdly, like bullies, made fun of me, spread rumours about me and I never quite understood why since I had not done anything to them. Nowadays I am starting to gain a deeper understanding about what actually took place. Envy is the name of the game in this case.

@mad.attila6488

9 ай бұрын

Bro whenever i have a new job or what i get all the girls, all the attention, clients love me etc... Guess who instantly try to tear me down when in front of girls and spread rumours etc its hilarious Bc they don't even get the girls in the end lmao They just see you as the number one threat, they want you down because they KNOW they can never reach your level

@user-lp9ou1hf4e

8 ай бұрын

Recovering from this. Ladies and gentleman guard your heart and don't look back

@debragillen255

7 ай бұрын

How horrible. You stay strong .

@JohnKickboxing

7 ай бұрын

Hey, anyone here has a science proven theory that can explain how come we envy ones who are in the same peer, such as our friends, our career rivals?? ... Despite the horrible fact of human nature, I still don't think the enviousness, which possesses all of us, is that bad, so we have to to understand it. 👌

@MeowtownINC

6 ай бұрын

Same here, took me many years to begin to understand what was going on

Stay away from envious or jealous people, PERIOD. Even if a friend gossips and acts envious or jealous about another person’s success, stay away from them. Because I can bet my right nut they are doing the same to you behind your back. I’ve witnessed people be jealous and envious of their own children, THEIR OWN CHILDREN. Thats how scary these types of people are. Stay away and cut them out. Not worth the risk that they will get so jealous/envious that they will do all sorts of nasty things just to get you down to their level.

@amandamarie69

9 ай бұрын

Exactly. People need to understand that this is a real thing in society to protect yourself AND OTHERS from, esp when it happens in the workplace. I've seen too many good souls getting demoralized while evil people are get away with crazy shit, throwing rocks and hiding their hands.

@rmworkemail6507

9 ай бұрын

Exactly. Enviers and jealous of their own children, even after they have grown up. Those people exist.

@Poodle_Gun

8 ай бұрын

My mom was like that. It's part of my pretty privilege. 🤣🤣😭

@hereandthere6001

7 ай бұрын

people who envy their own children (sometimes contempt) are generally narcissists. A normal person would never envy their own children, they'd just be happy for them.

@annabanana1384

6 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for saying all this!!! I was just thinking the same thing to myself yesterday. I see i was spot on the right track with what i thought based on life's experiences! Yes! Stay away because if they gossip, they will be gossiping about you as soon as you turn your back too 🧐

Easy to get rid of friends who envy you. I grew up with parents who dismantled me through my whole life. Always telling me to never try anything because I would fail. So I never dared. When I reached 40 years, I finally realised that especially dad always was envy when I achieved something in life. He would trivialise it and say, I would be better of not doing anything. So beware of the enviers. They might be your family too. Best of luck

@valshiro515

Жыл бұрын

Mine are both family and friends. No safety within the close circle.

@user-zy4mk4ko2r

11 ай бұрын

So true l have many siblings who are very envious of me because of my accomplishments but to this day l work hard to earn my living and sacrificed a great deal to get where I am today. One of my rotten narcissistic sibling lied cheated betrayed me and drained me financially, mentally, emotionally etc. and he’s happy he did it as he feels entitled.

@5lifes13

11 ай бұрын

I have aunt's who were all against me getting a mustang to drive. I finally worked my butt off and got it. Now all I hear is how much my insurance is and how they always are worried about me driving it. Yet they had cars like that when they were my age....

@sub_z3r000

10 ай бұрын

Yes. My mom makes sure to remind me that there will always be someone smarter stronger or faster.

@annmariemccooey6731

9 ай бұрын

Family can be the most treacherous.

A REAL friend wants you to succeed.

I have had two experiences: they're icy cold and won't even acknowledge you or they'll flatter you and attempt to get close too soon. Either way, always trust your instincts because your gut will tell you when someone hates you.

@evaoliveira8407

Жыл бұрын

So true.

@indigoGoddess7

7 ай бұрын

This is so true. This woman I thought was my friend confessed that she liked attention. I explained to her that I wouldn’t be able to trust her & or be friends with her going forward. She still acted aggressive and insisted on coming to my home to speak some more. I told her that I wasn’t comfortable and since we were never friends (as she admitted being jealous of me & only wanting attention) nothing will be missed.

I think Envy can also be created in families where siblings/children are compared negatively to others. As parents it’s important to realize that each child is just different, not more or less loveable or valuable. That’s one of the joys of diversity. Toss the cookie cutter.

@timh9278

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I heard that from one psychologist. And I remember moments when my friend's mother compared him to me and made him feel bad about himself.

@craigs1437

Жыл бұрын

It's true that older adult authority figures in the family i.e., parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, etcetera, treat one child better than the other child because of abilities, features, looks, golden child vs scapegoat, etcetera, aka favoritism.

@craigdav9740

Жыл бұрын

This is very dangerous. It has made disasters in my family. I was that kind of favourite son…some of my siblings are making me pay for it and in return I am punishing the elders who pretended to treat me differently. Luckily, I soon understood that it was manipulation.

@MegaLadylove2012

Жыл бұрын

Wow this is an eye opener bc my older bro is such an envious person but it dawn on me our dad had always praised me infront of them even as children. He would say things like I was faster, stronger more mature. I did things well, cook, clean and handle basic life’s stuff better than my siblings even the ones older than me. And truth be told, I did. My bro was street smart and dad trusted him to handle a lot of fam business including money and those things never really bother me until there was talk to open an international oriental food chin and only my bro was invited to those meetings. I felt a hint of envy during tht time bc I can be business savvy and would most likely carried fam business for generation to come. My older bro is jst as good but can get in his own way. On the other hand, my fam takes great honor in my integrity and would leave every penny to me to handle who gets wat and never let anyone of them know to keep me safe. They know deep down, my other siblings can be envious but reading this comment, I see parents can also unintentionally create this type of jealous spirit by complimenting one sibling over the other. We humans are prone to this type of behaviors so we’ve gotta be mindful bc you never know a common ‘you look nice in tht dress’ could be interpreted to another person who is likely to feel jealous of other ppl

@rs5570

Жыл бұрын

A lot of people might do well to not have kids. If you were abused chances are overwheling that you will abuse your children. Marriages are happier & last longer without children. Extensive peer reviewed research has confirmed this repeatedly.

As someone that used to be a toxic and shitty person, he is describing how I used to be. This is spot on.

@jeanmarie9797

Жыл бұрын

Bless you for the insight to change for the better!❤

@outoforbit-

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength. And with envy your weakness was not to be happy for others. So now that you have changed, and humbly admitted it, I think that you can be of great benefit to others for there betterment. You would be a person that people would like to be around. 🌞

@corinaspfx

Жыл бұрын

society thanks you for your evolution

@Mcatz7

Жыл бұрын

No worries there . I have been there and done that. Some time life is so rough we will be Shitty and toxic because of the stress and pressure. But in the end if learn and grow then it is a good thing.

@amandalynnhesson2328

Жыл бұрын

You used to be? Just curious, what happened to make you change? And how do u know u won’t fall back into toxic energy or communication

When you know someone like this, get very very far away. Even if you love them, they will sabotage you & backstab you the first chance they get. Forgive them, and move on.

@alisonb5921

Жыл бұрын

I can forgive, but I can't forget how my former envious & jealous friend, betrayed me. I have what he wanted. I worked hard for what I have. He just 'bludges' & prefers to be envious & jealous of what me & other people have. He won't get off his backside & work for getting things ! I have moved on. I ignore him & refuse to talk to him again. 😊 I don't want 'toxic people' in my life !😄

@turolretar

Жыл бұрын

We shouldn’t give up so easily

@LuckiestStarByFar

Жыл бұрын

Yes. Envious people are dangerous and we indeed should stay away.

@sisijames

Жыл бұрын

An envious person just exited my life and I feel a weight lifted 🙏🏿

@X-Factor-22

Жыл бұрын

@@alisonb5921 I was in a similar situation, but what was worse with my so-called friend was that he had more opportunities than I did and he was more educated. I had to compensate my short comings with being disciplined, positive and the willingness to grind. We were friends for years during our childhood, but even then his jealousy would slip through the cracks occasionally. I didn’t notice at the time, but people who knew us could see it….his own mother gave me a indirect warning. It wasn’t until we started working together is when I saw the jealousy and envy go full blown. Stepped all over me to get ahead, but it blew up in his face in the worse way. It started a chain of events that made his life miserable for some years while my life blossomed with occasional bumps in the road. He just recently got his life together, but he’s one of the people I keep in the rear view mirror of my life.

I can't remember the last time I've been envious of anyone. I am so thankful for this ability. I attribute this phenomenon to: 1. Learning to have a growth mindset, as opposed to a fixed mindset. "If they can do it, so can I" is my mentality. People better than me inspire me to become better. 2. Having a lot of faith. I developed it by reading inspiring stories of people doing what was thought to be impossible. I also watch a lot of Christian testimonies, and believe that with God all things are possible. 3. Having an abundance mindset as opposed to a lack mindset. You don't have to tear people down to build yourself up. In fact, there is enough for everyone. Helping others is helping yourself. 4. Understanding everyone on this earth has a different destiny and is on a different path. Their path is not better or worse than yours, just different. All these things help me not be envious of people who have more than me, or disdainful towards people who have less than me. Instead, I am inspired by people who have more, and compassionate towards people who have less.

@bookbuff

Жыл бұрын

Nice .. thank you 😊

@valshiro515

Жыл бұрын

Go to an astrologer to find out the area of your life that has hidden envy. Most people are unable to identify envy in themselves. You expect it to be "black envy" when it could easily be "white envy" and you think it's you being inspired by someone. Just saying. Everyone at some point in their life experienced some form of envy.

@DiamondsRexpensive

11 ай бұрын

Liar

@cosmicbrownie333

10 ай бұрын

This! The things you’ve listed are also things I keep in the front of my mind at all times. Envy is a feeling I can’t identify with. You only feel jealous/envious when you feel inadequate imo and I don’t feel that way. Learning how to be graceful and patient with yourself pretty much makes those negative yearnings no existent. Well for me at least.

@amwatkins443

10 ай бұрын

Absolutely agreed. Perfectly put👏🏽 Wonderful writing!

I can spot Envy in “friends” , immediately , they are immediately recategorized as acquaintances . And no personal information is shared ever again

Detecting jealous people is not hard, It's so interesting how so many people can become jealous of someone they seen for the first time and know nothing about. I watched a video on Instagram I forgot who it was but he was saying a hater you can distance yourself from haters, but jealous and envious people sneak there way into your life to get closer to you.

@tcrijwanachoudhury

Жыл бұрын

Its the hardest thing to detect imo especially over text, as someone who is pretty good as reading people

@alisonb5921

Жыл бұрын

When me & my little brother,(3 years younger), were kids, we didn't have very much. Our parents were poor. Dad worked & Mum did sewing for people. When I was 9, I wanted a bicycle, another neighbour taught me to ride a bike. I rode her bike a lot. For my birthday, I was given a 2nd hand bike. I was happy. I knew my parents couldn't afford to buy me a new bike. A few weeks later, my neighbour was riding a new bike, her parents bought her. I was very jealous. Mum told me "always be grateful for what you have, there's people in the world, who are a lot worse off than you". I stopped being jealous of my neighbour & her new bike. I told her "your bike is nice".She said "thanks, do you want to ride it?". I rode it & thanked her. We stayed friends for years, until her family moved away.😊

@madelainepetrin1430

Жыл бұрын

Luckily, with time, they'll show their true color, and you'll realize that you always knew they were envious.

@sparkle3000

Жыл бұрын

That's why I don't subscribe with keeping your enemies close. Stay away from me.

@Yarmox

10 ай бұрын

Youre making a human emotion a label. Every person whether they realize it or not have felt these feelings to some degree, so spend enough time around certain people and you will see a wider range of emotion from there. People that really have certain toxic traits are easy to spot right of the bat if youve interacted with people long enough.

I've learned not to tell about my life to people who are unhappy (unhappy by their nature or choice). They always undermine the sense of our plans, criticize and can find a lot of bad sides for our intentions, relationships, business ideas or work. "Always look on the bright side of life!" 🙂🦋

@suramyasingh4529

Жыл бұрын

I totally agree, lived this experience one of my friend who is unhappy by her choice of spouse isn’t happy about anyone. I concluded its best to keep my good news to myself and not share with her alikes.

@juliettezea9507

Жыл бұрын

How do you know they are unhappy

@renaldsunset

Жыл бұрын

💯

@experienceseeker07

Жыл бұрын

​@@juliettezea9507 Their pessimism would be so apparent.

@rmworkemail6507

9 ай бұрын

Yep. Especially those who always have _lesson to tech you_ and feel like they are life counselors. They are good at concealing their envy.

Reactions that reveal a person true character: Their reaction to your pain, thier reaction to your joy, their reaction to a gift you give them, their reaction to being ignored, their reaction to an insult, their reaction when they won a game with you. All of these will show who a person really is despite what they may say.

@L4LA0412

Жыл бұрын

The reaction to a gift that we give them is like what? Please enlighten me

@MeeCee5204

Жыл бұрын

@jala Jala like a funny coffee mug, a small wall hanging, key chain, or anything you buy, make, or give them. It doesn't matter what it is. The key is how they react. Do they appreciate your efforts, or do they act like they could care less.

@L4LA0412

Жыл бұрын

@@MeeCee5204 aha thank u very much 🙏

@natural3362

Жыл бұрын

​@MeeCee how about envious people reaction when we are in pain? Give me some insight please

@swiftkarma4436

Жыл бұрын

​@@L4LA0412i dated a guy for 3.5 yrs who felt uncomfortable with receiving gifts from me. Come to find out he didn't really like me. He was jealous of me the whole while. He was unable to receive the gifts I gave because he knew how he really felt about me

Jealousy and envy comes from those who don't want to do the work. I was homeless and everything. Picked myself up and grateful for all that I have today. Those same people who laughed at me, have the nerve to be jealous now after all I've been through? Jealous people won't congratulate you either and will find something to criticize. Just leave them alone and live your beautiful life.

@malenomadiclion2030

Жыл бұрын

Had me singing that old school song “Sparkle in your eyes” by cameo.

I notice when someone envy’s they start off with jokes towards you that are more like jabs. I also noticed that they try to make you question your self or feel self conscious about your appearance but later on go and dress or do something similar to you whil you slowly start to shut down your light.

@MinhThu.buddhist

Жыл бұрын

You’re right. They try to copy/ mirror what they envy of you( styles, hobbies, possessions,etc)and criticize you subtly by some stupid jokes to destroy your self- esteem. I recognize these narcissistic/ toxic people and I ignore their BS and just being myself, even being more confident, doing my things. Don’t let their BS get under your skin. ☮️

Envy is one of the hidden psycho-emotional dilemmas of our time, that is the fuel behind a lot of transgression, abuse and even dysfunctionally narcissistic behaviour patterns. What's even more disturbing is that people who seem outwardly 'better or more accomplished ' than you, can start to envy you when things start to work out for you....And only God knows how I've witnessed and been on the receiving end of that... The challenge really comes when you realise that the 'people above you' and the 'people below you' equally want to take you down and out. That's some serious life navigation right there. And definitely, many of us don't practice gratitude enough..... God help us 🙏

@Poodle_Gun

8 ай бұрын

It's a personality disorder of its own.

@monejohn9973

6 ай бұрын

Welcome to a side effect of pretty privilege 😅

I think I can safely say that I’ve never had a friend who has seemed genuinely happy for me when I’ve achieved something. Be it work promotions, sporting events, moving home or my daughter’s progression in life. I put this down to envy I guess. I got a promotion 10 months ago, and I still haven’t told anyone, that’s how sad these people make me.

@luisa1473

Жыл бұрын

It's just unreal isn't it? I am extremely good at reading cues, so the looks of disappointment are crushing to me. From siblings and even a parent. I have learnt to play small just to avoid those hurt feelings as I am someone who feels a lot of joy for the joys of others. That's what love means to me, so it's a constant reminder that they don't love me. But actually when someone shows themselves as envious I then can hold bitterness against them.

@luisa1473

Жыл бұрын

And congratulations on your promotion!

@dipikajames4998

Жыл бұрын

Many many congratulations to you on your promotion. Hope you receive abundance in every aspect of your life,always.

@ayenioare6510

11 ай бұрын

Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉on your promotion

@memidiane38

10 ай бұрын

Congratulations you earned it!

My ex best friend was like that, I tried to ignore it for years but it only messed with the head. It was a friendship for me but a competition for them. Every conversation with them was just gossip about others, never took any accountability for their own actions. I realised that I didn't want to become like them so I broke it off. It was painful, but a good decision.

@user-lp9ou1hf4e

7 ай бұрын

ya, good decision. am still trying to locate real friends. the duplicitous plague n shit.

I’ve recognized this in myself for years. Being grateful for what I have always brings me back.

When I found out I received a fellowship for my doctorate, my roommate and friend cried and locked herself in her room, throwing things and yelling that I always got what I wanted and she never did. I was from a working class family who started at a community college. She was from a wealthy educated family who went to an ivy league. She never applied for her PhD. Years later, I received a prestigious research fellowship and my best friend then stopped talking to me. It was so painful. The following year, she won it. I was just farther along than she was but her reaction was shocking and hurtful. That kind of thing has happened to me my whole life. I am the kind of person who throws a party for friends when something great happens to my friends. But for some reason, I am frequently disappointed by my own friends when something good happens to me.

@motomarmot6544

4 ай бұрын

I'm sorry this happened to you.

@photosusa

21 күн бұрын

They are not your friends

I was an envious child and grew up envious but I changed. I am very content and wish the best for all. I owe my change to God. He helped me be better and wish good upon others.

@HLJlovejoy

2 ай бұрын

❤

The most obvious sign of envy is underhanded compliments.

Envy is the result of lack of happiness for the success of others. Envy is the hallmark of a very selfish person. Never say anything good to an envious person, he/she will interpret that good thing as bad. Once you sense a person is very envious, never interact again because whatever good thing happens, they'll destroy it. That's how evil envy is. There's nothing good for an envious person.

@samxsara

Жыл бұрын

The crux of being a humble non envious person. But one thing we can be sure of is we are Gods people.

@zohramartini9425

Жыл бұрын

If it is your boss in the workplace, it is very hard to ignore...

@RattledAwakeBooks

Жыл бұрын

excellent advice! walk away. I talk about 5 types to avoid and how to deal with 'em but in the end, you nailed it: walk away or show them the door.

@chioma5633

Жыл бұрын

Was just about to say this

@scottferguson1756

Жыл бұрын

True but what if this person is a family memeber? Cant just cut them off, you might need them one day!

I had an envious friend who was an only child. Selfish and abusive was an understatement. I wasn't allowed to have anything in life according to her 🤦‍♀️.

"Dont envy a persons mountain tops if your not prepare to walk through there valley's"

@noklarok

Жыл бұрын

exactlayyyyy!

@abusednomoresilence

Жыл бұрын

💯 ❤

@sadiasharmeen942

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@marcoprolo7318

Жыл бұрын

So true

@natalieflanagan175

Жыл бұрын

I love your quote Spot on Well done😀🇮🇪☘️

I had a friend who would smile as they told stories of their best friends downfalls. They relished as they started into space recounting the failures and blunders of others. I once told this guy some good news and posted awesome pictures of my good news on social media. He called me in a very cold tone "I see that you posted pictures of your good news" "I'm jealous........" All I could hear was his breathing getting heavier without dialogue. He sounded enraged. Looking back, he was always sabotaging me in some way

@jeremyk4276

Жыл бұрын

Sad guy he is.

@KA-cm5mb

9 ай бұрын

You know the craziest part, he was one of the easier ones to deal with . They are often not that honest and much smarter with masking. Sad but true.

@joannaheart8167

9 ай бұрын

At least he told you, most people boil with inner rage and pretend they are friends. I never post anything good because I know some people will be jealous of me, even the "easy" ones to get along with.

@debragillen255

7 ай бұрын

There are truly mentally ill people running around. Sick … what a sicko 😡

@laurakirkegaard6870

18 күн бұрын

That sounds like my sister, unfortunately

I have pity for those that envy. Focus on yourself!

Envious people cannot be your friend .I had friends and family like that toxic to the core. I decided to attached from there BS..Everything he said was on point. SILIENCE IS THE KEY.Thank you do much .

I think that a good way to deal with one's own envy is to work on improving yourself. When we feel envy it can be a good tool for learning where we feel inadequate and need to better ourselves. Robert Greene is also right in that we need to value ourselves in the grand scheme of things; even though we may envy a certain aspect of a person, we should at the same time remember our own worth in other domains. It's important to work on being happy with yourself, and to find out what that really means to you.

@not-even-german4892

Жыл бұрын

Don't envy. U can do it. Try....

@jeanellematthews5177

Жыл бұрын

.

@sadiasharmeen942

Жыл бұрын

He put into words what i always felt regarding this

@nmc1859

Жыл бұрын

True and he's right. Show gratitude ❤

@FreeFallinAngel

Жыл бұрын

Very well said and summed it all up. Thank you.

Envy is something I never understood and still don't. I attribute that to my parents raising me to be the best version of myself and understand that I have my own specific lane in the real world. There will be people better, prettier, richer, etc...and that's not gonna change, so might as well focus on yourself because that's all you got. Be inspired by others!

@diplomat2623

Жыл бұрын

AMMMMEEENNNNN I’m 1000% with you!!!!

@audy2174

Жыл бұрын

Often parents who have themselves not understood their own envies and pass it on to their children. When I was growing up, my parents would compare to my sibling and use shame, "Your sister is always organized and does without asking, why can't you be like her?" And make these disgusted faces at me, also out in public if we meet new people, on the car ride home "look at Bill, how happy he looks, and look at you, cant even talk straight, why can't you be more like him?" So I walk around in life and automatically feel shame when someone describes their good news or think "why can't I be like this person?" Still working on it in therapy, would definitely want to grow into a person who can be genuinely happy for people and be the sort of parental figure who allows their children that freedom.

@munequa81

Жыл бұрын

@@audy2174 I’m very sorry to hear that. I have family members that were raised like this as well and they believe the same things. I’m glad you’re going to therapy to heal from this because envy holds people back through trying to be other people instead of just being yourself.

@brettvader1833

Жыл бұрын

I can answer that when you see your friends all married with kids and good jobs and their own cars and you have none of that it makes you angry over time.

@munequa81

Жыл бұрын

@@brettvader1833 you see, this is my point. If you grew up comparing yourself to everyone of course, you'll get mad. I've had some dark moments in my life where I looked towards those people and it gave me hope and inspiration that I too, can have my own version of success. I think envious people don't have that. They want the version of success that belongs to others. Focus on defining success on your terms and you won't ever look at other people's lives and be angry again.

Envy is actually a form of ingratitude for the things u have

I'm envious of Robert Greene's ability to read non-verbal signs and deal with them in productive ways!

@theinsightfulvisionary0197

Жыл бұрын

I can do that too!!! and I have a lot of haters!!!: I think of them of having some type of chemical imbalance in their brain!!!

@NickM_FirstofHisName

Ай бұрын

I've been studying body language and manipulation for more than a decade, it's fascinating!

I’m glad the speaker talked about how to manage envy. It’s a human emotion but I think people mask it because we’ve been shamed for being envious. Mismanaging that emotion is the problem. Hence, why people mask instead of actually having conversations about why one may be envious. Also, many people aren’t taught to regulate well during childhood and unfortunately, grow up to become unregulated adults.

@danielcarrick8603

Жыл бұрын

I agree with everything you said. I think that they may also grow up to become tragically and toxically narcisisstic. Excellent comment, CambieSweets! Thank you for the insight.

@L4LA0412

Жыл бұрын

I agree with you

@Schneider624

Жыл бұрын

So true. You can be envious and still be happy for that person. Everybody is envious from time to time because because everybody wish they had something someone else has. That’s a part of life.

@JohnnyBravo-gj7ve

Жыл бұрын

I dont understand one thing. I had a friend who was extremely envious but never showed it outfront, he would use passive aggressive tactics to get his own needs met. After he pretty much destroyed me emotionally and left me for the gutters, I had enough and started cursing at him for doing this to me…. How the fuk is what i did envy tho? Maybe i was naive that i didnt realise how much he impacted me over the years…. But those emotions were completely justified and they werent out of the blue for no reason. So i think they need to be more specific in these videos because victims of emotional abuse might misinterpret the meaning of the video….

@bluebellegreen2804

Жыл бұрын

"jealousy" was weaponized against me by my covert narcissistic mother, I could have no feeling of dislike for a female without her putting us in the ring against each other with me always as me as the loser. Totally fucked up my sense of my own judgement.

100% spot on! How sad is it, when people have to be that way? I have zero tolerance for it. Over the years, I’ve cut people out, or I keep them at a very long distance. You don’t need those type of people around you! The “unspoken language” is very powerful indeed.

Being a genetically blessed, but highly-agreeable person (thanks mom) made me a target for these characters all my life till recently.

@amandaa3713

Жыл бұрын

Code Eater Me too. I am so sick of the envy.

@NicoTNN

Жыл бұрын

What happened recently that changed?

@codeeater0

Жыл бұрын

@@NicoTNN I grew older and wiser.

@JustDaniel6764

Жыл бұрын

Sounds arrogant and obnoxious to me. "Genetically blessed" Please elaborate.

@codeeater0

Жыл бұрын

@@JustDaniel6764 You wished you naturally looked as good a me.

I learned this back in the day. Instead of admiring similarities in a person they switch to being envious thinking it won’t be readable. He explained it very well.

@davelawson2564

10 ай бұрын

if you have something good to share , do you even call them for a party to celebrate it ? And later send then gift for coming or helping them in any way ? if you don't then why should they care about you when you don't ?

@void9837

6 ай бұрын

Maybe people see the unfair advantages, networking relationships, bribery and extortion and realize they don't have a chance in life. Those of us who take the time to build a skill and develop our talents get cheated by liars, thieves and hoes who sleep their way to the top. It's not jealousy.

Envy can be transformed into motivation to achieve. Envy goes nowhere, except to cause a person to become bitter and small. Transformed envy makes a person take action to achieve a similar level of life. Choice always comes first.

Why be envious when you can be inspired by them? ❤ It only signals what you’d like to have, such as success in a certain life area, so then you can work towards that! Unless, it’s an aspect of someone’s personality or nature, you envy, then you admire them, wish them well, accept the good about you, and understand that even they will have things they dislike about themselves! It’s important to realise there are others that need you for a different purpose. You are born as you, for a different purpose than those you may be envious of! You don’t need to be like anyone else. You need to be your authentic self. ❤️

@RattledAwakeBooks

Жыл бұрын

Why be that way? Because, haters hate. Skunks spray. That's what they do. All we can do is recognize the 'tell-tail' signs and decide, "Do I want more, or less, of this?" Move feet accordingly. You don't get 'them' anymore than they 'get' you. It is what it is - choose well

@not-even-german4892

Жыл бұрын

They will never understand

@emma_em_11

Жыл бұрын

@@not-even-german4892 I agree and it’s a shame!

@keelyross5127

Жыл бұрын

Very well said

@emma_em_11

Жыл бұрын

@@keelyross5127 Thank you :)

Absolutely true, I’ve seen these examples from a sister who has always betrayed me when she feels envious of something that she perceives I may get and she wants. She has this entitlement to sabotage me in one form or another, but then plays innocent so she doesn’t appear jealous to others around. She is never remorseful for the hurt she cause’s because she will spin it around as if she did a favor. It was a vicious cycle and the reason why I no longer communicate or involved myself in her and her family’s life. She cannot be trusted, so I decided to move on.

@genie674

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I had the same experience.

@davelawson2564

10 ай бұрын

if you have something good to share , do you even call them for a party to celebrate it ? And later send then gift for coming or helping them in any way ? if you don't then why should they care about you when you don't ?

@andreadevonport3139

9 ай бұрын

Are you sure your not living my life .I have the same sister lol.I also cut ties completely .

@deborahalden5312

9 ай бұрын

I also have a sister like that she was always horrible around me .SHE HAS A PROBLEM I HAVE NOT. GOOD LUCK.

@Poodle_Gun

8 ай бұрын

Did you ever fake her out? I love needling these people.

I think it starts really early on from childhood and you learn from your parents how they react or think about people. My mom always taught me not to envy and be grateful for what I have.She'll say what is yours is yours appreciate it what is theirs is theirs let them enjoy it. And the way she talks about other people too she never badmouths people just because of what they have. So I was happy when my daughter came home and she was talking about her classmate who was so good playing the piano. My daughter plays the piano too so my husband told her nah you can be better than her and I jumped in and say no it's great that you appreciate your friend I'm sure she's very good. I wanted to teach my daughter what my mom taught me and that we should admire and be inspired by other people who are better than us and not be envious about it. We all have our own lanes to focus on and you should not feel like you have to compete with other people but compete with yourself. You don't wanna be someone who's happy when someone fails and that's a clear sign of envy.

@tammyfitzgerald5336

Жыл бұрын

From 2 -6 were taught empathy 🙏🏽🙌🙏🏽🙌🙏🏽🙌

@norama3998

Жыл бұрын

تحيّاتي لوالدتك .. في حبّها للخير للنّاس ميل لنشر الخير و حسن التربية في ابنائها ..سلوك جميل جدًا ليعيش الجميع في سلام و ا حترام بين البشر ... 👍🌹

@amiwho3464

9 ай бұрын

Very good! 😊

Usually narcissistic personalities become like this. It can be extraordinarily difficult to undo

I'm not envious because my mom taught me it was evil. Some people just make up stuff to be envious. I admire people and get inspired by them.

This man knows things.

This guy is on point. I don't do social media because of privacy concerns and also because you can't really get to know someone that way as they only show you what it is they want you to see and perceive about them (while we are on the subject of this, I wouldn't recommend online dating). The golden rule in my life, and what I recommend to everyone, is to WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF. We are all held to the same standards and expectations as everyone else regardless of our backgrounds. We have the same concerns and priorities that integrate ourselves with other people, so relax.

Truth! People are not as happy as you think they are. In addition, yes, I have a “friend” who I can always count on to be the voice of doubt. I can also always count on her for bad advice, although I believe some of it is from her own ignorance. Still, I know the goal. I’m really grooming myself, more and more, to enjoy my own company more than I already do, and to keep my goals and successes to myself. I’ve crossed paths with too many narcissists, who are able to detect that I have a certain energy, empathy and goals and it has become like getting across a football field, in scraping them off me and escaping them.

@Ikaros23

Жыл бұрын

I recomend the book « red flag» by H.G Tudor. And cut all narcissists out of your life. You owe them nothing, and they are never going to « change,listen,understand». There is also never going to be closure with the narcissist. Use your empathy on your self and other good people, instead of wasting it on these « humanoid» creatures

@privateprivate8366

Жыл бұрын

@@Ikaros23 I’m aware of Tudor and Vaknin, as narcissists and a bevy of others who aren’t, but are EXPERT on the topic, such as Little Shaman, and a few others whose names I forget now. I have cut narcissists from my life, one by one. I’ve had them as family, bosses, coworkers, “friends”, and neighbors. I’m mostly comfortable with my own company, so I’m not shy about living this quiet and isolated life. I’m a creative so, alone time is mandatory, whether others like or feel comfortable with it or not. To a point, your advice is quite timely though, when you speak of never getting “closure” with a narcissist. Since my narcissistic mother passed last year, I’m nearing the end of probate with a far more active and capable narcissistic sister. As there are 2 mortgage free properties my mother owned, on the same street, each of us get one. Both are compromised, with the one my sister getting, being worse. Although she’d not been participant in family affairs, for many decades, when my mother started becoming abusive towards me, I went no contact. My sister moved into the other house, but no deed was never signed over. Although I know that my sister doesn’t understand anything about narcissism, nor why I left, she decided upon herself that she was estate executor and would “allow” me to live in the house our mother resided in. My guess is that, if my sister has half a wit, which she hasn’t shown much of during court proceedings, she was hoping I’d soon die and it would be seamless, for her to inherit my property, as next of kin. She DID NOT want probate. She also DID NOT recognize the wishes of the court. Even when he assigned a court-appointed administrator, she cut across him and said she was administrator. Cutting to the chase, as she seemed to be spending a lot of time at the house I’m getting, as I have still live in an apartment all this time, I asked the administrator if I could change the lock and it was approved. My sister disagreed with the administrator, broke into the house and had the lock changed again. My guess is that, she was so confident, she even left a bag of groceries there. The court reprimanded her for it and I let the police know about it. The only reason I couldn’t get her arrested,’is because I haven’t yet received the deed, which will occur over the next few weeks. Because I know how society works with narcissism, I also suspect the cops decided, “Hey, it’s your sister. Just a family squabble. Hug it out.” Wait till I get the deed. Let me find she’s been in there again. She won’t have to worry about the house she’s getting either, because I’ll make sure she loses it, while she’s sitting up in jail. I don’t want her on the same street anyway.

@Ikaros23

Жыл бұрын

@@privateprivate8366 The important part is that you know who you are dealing with. I have the same issue in my family with my narcissistic mother and sister. When there is time for settling the affairs with property, i will let the lawyers do all the work ( it`s worth the money). They will do all they can to make our life a missery ( like theirs), with their silent treatments, stalling, lies, manipulation and so on. There is another youtuber now author " Elizabeth Shaw", that has excellent content online. There is not a case that she has not analysed about the narcissist. What i find high quality with H.G Tudor is that he is a insider as he is himself a narcissistic psychopath, it was his analysis of the nature of the narcissist that finaly snapped me out of the spell, doubt,gaslighting. Because of the total rawness of his analysis and his details of the insanity of they`re way of thinking. Reality is that we never had a " sister", they are con artists/actors who just used the " mask" of beeing a sibling to manipulate us. My sister was never a criminal, but she totaly lacks empathy and looks at me simply as a object/toy/game she can play with. It sounds to me that you see her for what she is, and your strategy with useing the law and your doubt about the police understanding is 100% something i can relate to. Most can`t understand the extent of the madness and lies of the narcissists and their enablers. You are not alone in your struggle!. stay on " team healthy", and never stray from the path of " zero contanct". These monsters never change

@privateprivate8366

Жыл бұрын

@@Ikaros23 by the time my mother died at the start of last year, I was well-versed in narcissistic behavior patterns.. i felt I could parse out the natural lack of understanding that my sister had about my departure and a person who had issues herself. As my mother had said, back in 2018, that I might need to take abuse from my sister, I can only hope that, in her last years she did. By the looks of both homes, with mildew, wildlife and squalor, I guess both decided to live in Hell and both deserve it. The law really hasn’t done much for me. Only one lawyer wanted to take the case, but she wanted full payment upfront, after a free consultation. I didn’t feel comfortable with that. Other lawyers I spoke with considered the case to be already contested, by my sister’s illegal claim to be estate executor, where she would neither renounce nor be co-executor. She has expressed in her letter writing that, when I left, I gave up everything - both houses, the family business including the website I built for it and anything else I’d done [while she’d been mostly absent and non-participatory for over 30 years]. That, as far as she was concerned, she was “allowing” me to live in one of the 2 houses. Obviously, this would later prevent me from insuring, selling, conveying the house as both homes would remain as part of our mother’s estate. But, as a result of having no lawyer, I had to learn quickly to write up the OSC, the VC and the Proposed Form of Judgement. Note that my background is in graphics. But this got us to court. Still, the court is not of much help as, this is not the first time that I’ve seen them operate on simply getting the parties to “agree”. As far as the court is concerned, agreement can even mean getting the plaintiff to agree to be socked in the nose by the Defendant. Then, it’s case closed. But, after a few hearings and case management conferences, the court drew tired of us, although they let my sister think she was on Jerry Springer. This also meant that, because my sister submitted actual receipts of monies she claims to have spent (although I believe it was from commingled funds with our mother), that I now owed her a few grand. I am unsure as to whether it was her breaking into my house and changing the lock or that the Surrogate office configured the amount as less, but the amount my sister thought she’d get was trimmed down by 1/3. Where law enforcement is concerned, they wouldn’t not arrest her, because I don’t yet have the deed to the house. But, the court-appointed admin costs us both and I have spent more than a year, paying for an apartment, while property taxes continue to escalate on the one property and, if I don’t pay it off before years end, it will go into foreclosure, like I actually wanted all this debt, for a “free” property. The only thing I can look forward to is a ton of work and the fact that my sister has worked her way out of me leaving her one red cent, when I die, as I will have explicit terms in my Will, that she is to receive nothing. Icing on that cake is that I already know she has no healthcare or retirement. I’ve said all of this because, don’t rely upon the law. I’ve seen things come out of the courthouse, that would shame a regular person. When I had a small claims case against a mechanic, the mediator said the court prefers that both parties come away unhappy. Because of all of the cases, they may only have 15 minutes to deal with your case also. Other than that, they can simply be derelict in their duties. Good luck in your situation and with the legalities of it. Narcissists are like vermin. If I move into that house, I will need to have security up to the 3rd floor - there is no 3rd floor.

@DaisyMaeMoses

Жыл бұрын

It's a shame that you have to resort to that for your own mental health and self preservation. I wish you well in all you do. Shine your light!

Being envious is a waste of time. Be content with what you already have and you will be blessed with more. Every individual should be grateful, thankful, keep evolving and be the best versions of themselves.

i can honestly say that i cannot remember ever being envious of anyone in my life and can't believe there aren't others like this.

@valshiro515

Жыл бұрын

Lol that's one way to reveal on social media how self-unaware you are. Learn to distinguish black envy from white envy and you might see that you have, indeed, been envious at some point in life.

@luciatheron1621

Жыл бұрын

There are many of us...envy is not one of my vices.

@maverickbull1909

6 ай бұрын

Liar

I would say the opposite of envy is admiration, not gratitude. Envy and admiration are both directed at other people, while gratitude is focusing on yourself

@elinasaksakulm5725

Жыл бұрын

Yet perhaps that`s the opposition. Focusing on yourself vs focusing on others. Additionally it`s possible to admire someone and be envious of them at the same time. I even would go so far to say that a person who envies someone, admires them in some extent by default.

@redrosin99

Жыл бұрын

Admiration can contain subconscious envy. You wish you were that person and you are not and by using a psychological defence mechanism of sublimation you make envy turn to admiration. Gratefulness comes from the Buddhist psychology/doctrine and is a cure to envy and self pity. It requires you to turn the defence mechanism of social comparison from comparing up to comparing down. A cognitive believe change that you do not really know how happy people are and what problems and difficulties they might have is another great tool to rid yourself of directing energy towards envy. An even easier way is to block social media on all of your devices.

@rico14

Жыл бұрын

@@elinasaksakulm5725I agree envy is when you compare yourself to others and are disappointed. Gratitude is when you’re happy with what you got, and don’t feel the need to compare.

@rainbow9987

Жыл бұрын

I think he means it in a way to destroy envy feelings inside of us.

@L4LA0412

Жыл бұрын

​​@@redrosin99ow nice insight and thank u for your share. 😀 I agree with you for some part. But honestly I don't agree on GRATITUDE concept these days. Many people unaware uses fake gratitude that lead to toxicity and dishonest to their own self. To covering and deny their envy and their inferiority. And many people uses fakes gratitude to feel superior than others. Many people even uses fake gratitude to boost their ego, how strong they are, how humble they are, how patience they are, how good they are etc. Example: when someone bought a new car and his friend came to his house said something like this: "Ooo nice new car dude! I'm not rich like you so i couldn't buy car like you, but I'm grateful and content. And thankful to GOD for everything" This seems so humble and kind but it's covert arrogance/ covert envious to makes the self looks better and feels good about our self and our situations, to feel superior in other hands. It will left uncomfortable feeling to the opposite person. If he don't have enviousness he simply said "nice car dude!!! Its awesome, bring me with your new car! I'm happy you can buy new nice car.🎉" Gratitude for me is pure emotion that NATURALLY arises when we finally able to see & realized what we have and what we can do. It can't be forced, it can't be pretended, it can't be faked.

I once shared this huge list of things I accomplished when someone(who I thought was a friend) asked me I am not to be seen on social media and she was worried about me. Just by being away from social media (during Covid lockdowns), I managed to learn a lot of things. And after I wrote this whole paragraph thinking this friend will be happy for me, I got a 👍🏻reply and knew right away that someone did not like it 😅😅. And next time same person asked something, I sent a video of something beautiful I witnessed in nature, and again zero response. Now I know to say, I am doing good when asked and not utter a word more than that.

@Lili_ia

11 ай бұрын

So basically you are a show off. A friend was worried about you during lockdown and reached out to you just for you to show her a list of your achievements, maybe she had a bad time or someobe close to her died and watching other people having a good time while se was down trigger her. In the end you are not better than people who has envy, you want people to envy you and be your personal cheerleader without having empathy and thinking what they might have been through.

@S.A.1

11 ай бұрын

@@Lili_ia You sound like one of those “friends”. Good luck to you. I don’t owe you any explanations. Move on if you have no comments for the video but the commenter

@Lili_ia

11 ай бұрын

@@S.A.1 You sound like a narcissist that can't take a comment againts your story, you can take the likes but not an opposed observation. If you don't like to recive different points of views don't post anything on social media. Simple.

@DiamondsRexpensive

11 ай бұрын

​@@Lili_iayou've never had friends before, or you have and you're the awful friend. Snake.

@davidrobert2007

10 ай бұрын

@@Lili_ia You don't know the person you replied to, and to call them a "show off" and to insinuate that they think they are "better" than other people is not a very nice thing for you to do. Your comment also includes a guilt trip / invite to feel ashamed which was based purely upon your assumptions, which is also not a nice thing to do.

Exactly 💯 I had Friends/ Family that Always were in Competition With Me, Yet They had More Materialistic Things than I Did 💔🙏🏽 I Guess They Realized They Couldn't Buy A Pure, Kind Heart ☝🏽💜

I deal with envy this way: if a person makes me feel envious, then I simply stay away from that person. I stay away from anyone who makes me feel envious. That way I don’t have to deal with the crap. Problem solved.

@steppentofortune7934

Жыл бұрын

Doing that and nothing else sounds like running from the problem. Being envious of someone might teach us something about ourselves if we pay attention. Shifting perspective seems like the way to go. Thank you for the lesson reminder, stranger!

I have had friends that would try to steer me from success - as an athlete they would try to get me to come party and skip practice etc...when I said I wasn't smoking they would try to get me to smoke...as I have gotten older I see that was all envious behavior. Also I have told people good news and they will give a cold congrats and then change the subject rather quickly. Sometimes its your own family which is wild.

This is why i had to keep some people at a distance there excited more for people who dont do anything for them but wont support people that are always in there corner

Radical acceptance of ourselves, our feelings and situations. It's never about others, it's within us.

@samxsara

Жыл бұрын

🙏 and why do we create envious mirrors?

@L4LA0412

Жыл бұрын

@@samxsara ​ @ManifesteavecSAMXSARA 🙏 In my opinion we are never creating mirror. We see the world and realities based on our own glasses. :) We see and feel the world based on our state of mind. We attract something that have same vibration and in tune with something inside of us (usually it's buried in unconsciousness state). If it's triggers us badly and affecting our emotional state, there is something in there that want us to look at it (to look deep within). It's in our darkness area, the area that we (unaware) refuse to acknowledge for very long times. :) It's hard to see but worthy if WE can find it. IT WILL CHANGES OUR LIFE! :) 'HONESTY' with our own self is the key. *TMI PART YOU CAN SKIP IT IF YOU WANT* 😂👍 Unhealthy Envious people are very insecure inside, feel small, feel loser, insignificant, inferior, deep shame, deep crave of attentions, jealousy, feel imperfect, feel unfairness and injustice, powerless, victim mentality, and many more. The question is, are we have those things too deep inside of us? 🧐 that need to be acknowledged? Need to be accepted as it is, nurtured, cared and loved and make peace with them?🤔 Many unhealthy envious people transferences and projecting outside of them. Their negative feelings, their negative emotions, their low self esteem, their broken sense of self & their negative self view (they try to be tall by cutting others head) so they able to feel sense of superiority, sense of power, feel significant etc just to covering and deny their negative feelings, negative emotions etc inside of them. Usually envious people are blind to see what they have, always busy to see what they don't have and always busy to see what others have. 😂 Busy to see others life. That comparation that makes them more bitter inside. 😂 And in my personal opinion, enviousness not always bad thing if we are aware of it, accept it as it is and focus to our own self. It can helping us to grow too. And sometimes we met "ENVIOUS" people (that often they are very close to us) just to teach us how to protect ourselves, how to respect & honour ourselves, how to draw line and set healthy boundaries. To not tolerates it anymore and to moves our selves from those relationship and situations that damaging our life, mental & emotional. To say good bye to them that couldn't give healthy, respectful and balance relationship as human beings. :) 🙏

envy is a universal emotion but we don't have to give in to it. it's like he said - gratitude is the antidote to envy. if you look at all the people who don't have what you have, you will feel incredibly blessed!

@javascriptkiddie2718

Жыл бұрын

It's not universal. It's a trait of narcissism and not everyone is a narcissist.

@valshiro515

Жыл бұрын

Lol this is such a toxic comment. Are you even aware that looking at those who don't have what you have can produce another toxic emotion such as pity and guilt, which on its own can ruin lives? If you tell you kid to eat their dinner bc kids in Africa didn't eat tonight, you're a toxic parent.

being able to identify good faith people is necessary more than ever

@sadiasharmeen942

Жыл бұрын

It's not always praying and piety. Its also virtuous

My older is such an envious person. And it dawn on me he’d always been this even as children. He would send other kids to pick on me when our dad wasn’t around bc he always thought I got more attention or love than him although, dad had always given him more preference or leeway. I recently drew all boundaries bc u don’t wanna be around ppl like tht. Oh esp paid attn to ppl who smile a lil when they hear a not so good stuff about you. I peep tht Everytime and asked them to save some of tht smile for themselves

@DaisyMaeMoses

Жыл бұрын

Your story sounds eerily like mine. As a child, my older brother got a lot of glee tormenting me with verbal insults and encouraging his friends to physically assault me. He was demonic. Karma now has him firmly in its clutches. I don't get pleasure from that. However a life of heavy drug use and alcoholism has taken its toll on his mind and body. He's done all the harm to himself. He's still devious and wants what I have. I cut him off when I asked myself if I'd have someone like him as a friend if he was not related to me. The answer was NO! I've had no contact for 12 years now.

People envy what they think makes you preferred over them but it’s really only their perception that needs to be altered; they have no clue what work you do behind closed doors to possess whatever that is. Ultimately it’s their own insecurities/lack of confidence in their value or skill. Yet surprisingly, a lot of people might envy them for the same exact thing that they are envying in someone else…gratitude and perspective need to be tweaked a bit. 🎯

I never envied someone for having something that I didn't have, I never viewed the world through eyes of scarcity and I was always excepting of the cards life has dealt me. Even if I don't like it. Only control we really have in life is how we react to a situation!

@MrT-nh6di

9 ай бұрын

Exactly

My girlfriend recently married a rich man at the age of 68. He is 68. She talks to me now of all the things she buys, the trips she goes on etc. All of a sudden she is judgemental of how I live what I should be doing etc. Our 50 year friendship is in trouble. I do not think I am envious of her as my husband and I are financially fine and can do what we want. I think I am angry because she is not the sweet humble person she used to be.

@SteeleMagnolia

Жыл бұрын

New money has swelled her ego

@lanac7974

Жыл бұрын

Now she feels like she’s doing better than you

@tjaspire

Жыл бұрын

That is envy LOL. It's a facade, though. She's not going to tell you the whole truth, only the glamorous parts.

@jenniferbrown8568

Жыл бұрын

Talk to her maybe she doesn’t notice

@rickde2709

Жыл бұрын

She's acting new. Dont worry karma will hit her for doing so

This is my brother he was so envious ,I don’t know why .I was going through a brutal separation ,he loved talking behind my back saying he felt sorry for me .He offered all these dud business projects .Every idea /project he so called helped me turned out to be a disaster .I would work my arse off and make no money ,he set me up for failure .And when it failed he would say you didn’t try hard enough .

@Ikaros23

Жыл бұрын

If he is a narcissist, then aim afraid to tell you the bad news. You never had a brother. This narcissist is just a actor who wheres the «mask» of beeing your brother. They never change. And it don’t matter if you are family.

@DaisyMaeMoses

Жыл бұрын

Narcissism, plain and simple. It's nothing you've done to cause his ugly, malignant personality.

@vantrinh3623

Жыл бұрын

Just stay away from him

"If you are grateful, I will give you more." (14:7)

I believe there are some ppl who are just not coded internally/spiritually to be jealous or envious like myself. I always look @ others success no matter whether it's in the same field or not as inspiration it's just how my heart operates. I have always been that person that wants everyone to do well and be happy but for some reason it was like others wanted to believe it was fake during most of my adolescent and early/mid twenties. It really used to weird me out and made me start to think something was wrong with me. I thought maybe the universe made a mistake and dropped me off on the wrong damn planet or something 😂

@Coco-so1ve

Жыл бұрын

Me too.......your just spiritually more enlightend I believe or no one has ever had what you want or you feel you can't attain yourself. Inspired or encouraging is what I feel and do.

@dabeezkneez8716

Жыл бұрын

You are not alone. I used to get so excited about whatever success someone is having that I want to jump in and increase it and contribute to it. It took me a long time to even realise that people are envious. I was so naive. As a result, I also used to announce my victories like a child in a sand box not even realising I'm evoking envy in others but thinking that the whole universe is celebrating with me too. I'm cautious and guarded now because of what I have learned but I still feel and celebrate every good thing that even a distant person like a professional athlete achieves as though it were my own ... It IS my own. It is OURS as a collective consciousness. When we truly grasp this, we envy no one. 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind' says it well. The flip side is that every sorrow is yours too. But turn to the Joy that is.

@theodoreroberts3407

Жыл бұрын

I am truly happy when someone gets the nicer things in life, even if I got nothing. If I want what they have, I know the path, work for it. Usually, their path is not my path. I don't entertain jealousies. Life is just too short.

@anushreenair6241

Жыл бұрын

@the hood psychologist: They believed it to be fake probably because it's an emotion unknown to them. They cannot bring themselves to believe that there might be certain people out there who dont think and behave the same way they do. The funniest thing is they are the ones now judging your character. I know of some people who try very hard to invoke envy because they think you will react to their antics and some others who downplay their success thinking others around them might get envious if they expressed their emotions just the way it is..Honestly, I find both these very petty. I have always believed that I am blessed beyond belief irrespective of what's currently going on. It's a process and nobody life is all sad and gloomy or bright as sunshine all the time. Also, another thing...envy is earned. It's not an emotion I would waste on someone not worth it...maybe that is why it's not an emotion I feel easily..Admiration is not envy. I dont remember a single person I have admired, that I have been envious of..See, ppl will be comfortable around you as long as they feel they are better than you and if the tables ever turn, they will detest it and it will come as a shocker to you because that is not how you were to them...

@swiftkarma4436

Жыл бұрын

​@@dabeezkneez8716i used to be this way in my early 20s. Now I don't tell a soul but my bff. I even tell my co workers I tske staycations even though I am out of the country

I used to be a smug bastard until I lost everything,now I appreciate so much in my life.

I have started 'really noticing' people while I interact with them. I had a bad habit of dominating the conversations. Now, I feel that more u talk, u dissipate more of ur power. Less u speak, and more u notice, more u gain power. And this makes people fear you. I wish someone had taught me this 20 years back, and I want to teach this to my kids. I recently ordered " Laws of Power" and I plan on giving tutorials from that book to my kids who r 12 and 7. The sooner u teach them, better they will be.

Feeling angry when being mistreated is not envy, its about restoring balance to an unfair world… if someone abuses you and you hate them is completely normal… This guy needs to be more precise

I've had many insults directed at me and people have said totally uncalled for mean things behind my back. I can't figure out what there is about me that could cause envy.

@sadiasharmeen942

Жыл бұрын

Same

@LisaCulton

Жыл бұрын

You're a good person who is likeable and usually that's all it takes

He’s right about being grateful. For me, being grateful for what I have changes my mindset and eliminates envy. Envy is like an evil tiny seed we all carry. We can choose to water and nurture it to help it grow or we can stop it by denying envy what it needs, attention. That’s why I eliminated almost all of my social media (I still have Instagram for pics, but I severely restrict who follows me). Those platforms are fertile grounds for envy. I was taught that if you have great news that makes you happy you only share it with people who you know will be sincerely happy for you. If you put your good news out there for those who would envy you, they send their bad intentions that not only sour your moment but also send bad”vibes” that could ruin its outcome. One of the best weapons against envy is gratitude. Thanks for posting this clip.

I have a friend that I've known for many years. She always wants to meet up and will initiate this (otherwise I would swear she wasn't interested in being friends anymore). Over the years, it's become so awkward to talk to her about myself or anything meaningful in my life. We meet and she never asks anything, not one little thing about me, but will happily talk about every aspect of her life, work, relationship, hobbies etc. which I always ask about. If I say anything about myself, it's met with silence. She didn't even know that I live with my partner and have done for over 10 years. Or when I met some work friends of hers and they asked her what I do for a living, I was close by and heard her tell them something that I hadn't done for about three years. When something I had worked for many years eventually came off, someone else asked me about it so I told them (she was there too) and she literally looked down at the ground and stared silently for a few minutes and said nothing. Yet she always says it is so great to see me, can we do this again soon etc. I just find it so confusing and more embarrassing as time passes.

@EvaElyse

9 ай бұрын

She is not your friend. Why are you allowing this leech to keep draining your energy on your mental expense?

I usually notice that when someone is envious of me, I start to feel like I need to defend myself and defend my plans to prove to them and myself that it's a worthwhile, good choice. So have started moving away from these people. When I have people who are genuinely happy for me, my insecurities dissappear and I can just relax. Be very cautious of people who are happy when you are miserable ❤

I was envious person up to my maybe 30s. Then I realized I don’t need to compare my self to others. Up to that age, I wasn’t able to change it. It dates from my childhood. My father was a strange man who didn’t want ( although we could) to buy anything to me and my brother. We didn’t have things like other kids ( never had bicycle, color tv when everyone had it, these were nineties). Never had anything I want. Only basic and what I needed. So I developed jealousy in my teenage years I think. I was always comparing myself to my peers and wanting to have things they have and I don’t. Like to have chocolate few times a week. Some shoes everyone is wearing but me. Things like that. I started working at age of 16 for really small amount. And sometimes I would by things for myself but most of the money I would spend on household items. My mom was housewife and she suffered, too. Age 20 I got married and left the home- my life changed a lot for better but I never stoped comparing myself to others and how they live/what they have until I become 30ish. Strange feeling, energy sucking and time waisting negative thoughts for a long time. I was very envious thinking of all that people for most of the day wanting their life. So you can talk negatively abut envious people but in core of their being is some kind of trauma. I am not that anymore, I was never a bad person, just lost and frustrated from young age

100% correct. When I tell people to Volunteer their time for their community like I do they just put me down. They say "nobody cares" but if that were true then who come I've been on TV 4 times ? VOLUNTEER ! Help Your community and make yourself a better person in the process.

@aliceandfriendsvideos

Жыл бұрын

I've had people talk to me some kinda way when I mention my volunteer work. It's because they're triggered because they immediately make it about them, as though your good deeds are just to show them up as not good people. 🙄 A very strange, and gross, kind of envy indeed (envying virtue).

@NicE-jq3wv

Жыл бұрын

Is being on TV 4 times supposed to be the hallmark of success? Maybe stop virtue signaling and preaching to others about how they live their life, and just do you. “Nobody cares” because your motives are sanctimonious.

@Marina-nt6my

Жыл бұрын

"Who come I've been on TV _4_ times?" That's not the reason you do it though right?..😅 You do it because you care about your community right? Not because some random people on TV will see you..🙂

I can honestly say that I have never been envious or jealous of anyone ever in my life. Don't even know what it feels like or understand what's the point.

I’ve known “friends, family, professionals”, or just people in general. When you pay attention, you can see the signs, the smiles at your misfortune, the frowns at your accomplishments, the comments under their breath, it can go on with many settle ques, they hide it well. But that’s the choice they made. This video was spot on. Life is stressful at times and a struggle. I prefer gratitude, even if I have less than someone else.

I have a friend (not so friendly now) who tells me she envies every time she is drunk. She is quite specific, and refers back to times when we were 14 and we’re now 58! She talks about me behind my back, all the while talking herself up as being concerned. It took a while for me to realise but I’ve now cut ties with her. She continues to talk about me.

Disguised envy is truly the danger...

Well said. The powers to be should teach the jealous hearted people how to keep their eyes on their own plate. I hate it when it keeps getting to the point where I feel compelled to to tell a "grown man" that he can't digest what I eat. And don't contend against me in a competition that I didn't even know about. Compete with yourself so we all will win. But most of those fools will sink the whole ship just so they can feel like they stopped someone else from coming out afloat.

@SteeleMagnolia

Жыл бұрын

Well said!!!!

@3mrabbit

Жыл бұрын

poetic. cant digest what i eat. gonna put that in a poem lol

@sadiasharmeen942

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. I compete with myself. Like getting a lil more better each year. I don't have any time to mimick

@bluebellegreen2804

Жыл бұрын

"Don't contend against me in a competition that I didn't even know about" GOLD!

@amandaa3713

Жыл бұрын

nodozhit You describe a long lost college classmate whom, upon reconnection, behave EXACTLY as you describe. After 1 1/2 years, as she tried to get me engaged in a conversation which was to make me agree with her as she tried to claim that *this* particular family's lineage is superior. Then, only social media contact for 13 months and then I was done with her constant one-upping.

I’ve noticed that some people try to make you feel envious. One guy I know plays people off against each other among other tricks. He supposes that he knows what makes people tick. He doesn’t like himself and he doesn’t like other people. He’s very inventive in nastiness that usually goes under the radar. I suppose envy is a form of flattery. Certain people try making people envious to give them a feeling of power.

I KNEW IT WAS A SUCH THING AS BEING JEALOUS BUT QUIET ABOUT IT AT THE SAME TIME EVEN THROUGH NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION AND WHEN THEY ACTUALLY TALK AND EVERYTHING. This video confirmed 👍🏾 everything I’ve been right about all this time. Jealousy is always obvious. Smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

@smokescreen2146

Жыл бұрын

I ignore reading anything in CAPS.

Is it possible to not envy a soul? I can't think of 1 person that I envy. Most of the time I feel either pity or dismissal towards them. And sometimes genuine admiration for their natural talents or success.

@abusednomoresilence

Жыл бұрын

Of course

@funkymunky

Жыл бұрын

Boredom, too. I'm with you.

@natural3362

Жыл бұрын

I think we all envy something. It's just that your nature is you upgrade yourself to have the thing that you envy on other people. Envious people will try to destroy the thing that they can't have and they will try to downgrade people who they envied

@jc3productions362

Жыл бұрын

Admiration is usually born from envy. Very few people can honestly say they’ve never felt jealous or envious at all in their life

@natural3362

Жыл бұрын

@@jc3productions362 how so?

I loved brother, but he's envious about me. It's kinda sad that a sibling of your can feel such feeling towards you.

@noklarok

Жыл бұрын

yeh it sucks

@RippleDrop.

Жыл бұрын

Oh my sister always hated me because I won the genetic lottery. There's never real friendship with a sibling who holds envy. Never. Never real. The envy always surfaces sooner or later.

the signs in others: • give advice that’s meant to confuse you or leas you down the wrong path • nonverbal communication: tone of voice, micro expressions, flash of disappointment in their eyes when you tell them something good that happened to you etc • gossipers

Your analyzing Soo true. I grew up with lots of half sisters and half brothers including my own full brothers and sisters. Anyway, long story to this day, my older half sister Soo envious, no matter how much her life was doing well, she was phoney and greedy...

Yes! This man is good!! I was actually wondering if I was just mean by thinking others are envious, but he just confirmed my suspicions.😳🙏

My job title was readjusted to better describe my work (which was a victory to me). My gossipy coworker went on about how she thought it “should have been called a promotion” and how disappointing it was. Didn’t congratulate me once. Everyone else did though. 😌a big win for me and she acted like it was “casual”. Subtle but envious indeed

@DaisyMaeMoses

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations!

One can deal with envy by developing a sympathy to others, and empathy. So when your friends or a neighbor excels, to feel a spontaneous joy. Can be done, just change your attitude. Wish others well. Empathy and understanding is the key, usually people do not envy their own children that they love.

Beautiful, changing stupidity one interview at a time. Bad ass dude.

Sadly a lot of envy ruined everything

I think to remove envy in ourselves is to not compare ourselves to other,wether it is our achievements,physical beauty,opportunities,fame,life.. when we compare it to others we going to feel we we arent enough,we are less than,we arent lucky, these negative emotions overwhelm in us.Usually we will gonna find imperfection to others,we will point their weakness,their flaws,criticize them, treat them bad or bullying them so we felt relieved and not affected by the insecurities we feel but it only make things worse,thats why there are people who gossips , destroying people’s reputation,destroying business or person’s image, doing ways to put them down,and even do serious harm to others.. so for me its a matter of setting your mind. I dont let this negative feeling overwhelm, at first i say to myself its normal that i feel these but i let positivity replace it, like i am happy for that person’s success and im happy in things that i have and everyone’s life is different.we have to learn how to manage our negative feelings we feel, we have to learn to comfort our ownselves like replacing positive thinking over the negative feelings we feel.. and self control and grattitude. Its a learning process.

The smirk that one tries to hide is called "duper's delight." Great point about it being a sign of not being grateful... and not being happy.

This is useful information especially when it comes to managing your own feelings of envy toward others, being honest with yourself and questioning why you feel the way you do. This takes practice one way I stay self aware is by telling myself “it’s not about you” especially when someone shares good news about themselves and things may not be going so well in my life, stop internalizing and put the focus solely on them.

People do not always automatically envy people with "more." More doesn't mean happier. It often means more stress and mental clutter and chaos. Simple life is best. Maybe that has to be 'realized."

@JuanDaDon9

Жыл бұрын

Good point/analogy

@babyyy___

9 ай бұрын

❤

Great video! One thing I want to comment on is the part where he says to think of how billions of people are worse off. That can become a slippery slope because in essence you’re still comparing yourself to others, and that can lead to feelings of guilt and/or imposter syndrome. It’s better to instead focus on counting your own blessings and being present in your own life. Catch yourself when you’re “time traveling” and try to be more in the moment rather than the past or future, thinking of regrets and what others have achieved.

I feel there is a interchange of the meaning of envy through this video. Taking the word envy while attributing the meaning of covetous, Jealousy, Overwhelming dissatisfaction and envy.

Thank you for not jut identifying the dynamic of envy, but also providing an alternative to improve and replace the toxic character defect.