Honestly, I got so close to becoming the side chick in high school. I would always flirt with this girl's boyfriend; he and I even went on a date behind her back. But then I saw the look on her face when she saw us together; she looked like she was about to cry. That's when I cut it off with him. I couldn't believe that I had hurt someone so badly and deeply.

When I was in college I was in love with this guy. He would message me to “come over and hang out” but he had a girlfriend back home so as much as I wanted to, I declined knowing his heart would never fully be mine and I had enough decency to not do that to his girlfriend. Fast forward 5 years later he’s married to her with their second child on the way.

@bellajimenez13

7 ай бұрын

LOL holy

@HurricaneQueen777

4 ай бұрын

Yikes. Good for you tho. 🎉

@rocio292

4 ай бұрын

This man lacks integrity and it looks like we women are the true leaders in relationships, this is proof. Men are the weaker link when it comes to temptation so good for you 👏🏼 but this is also to point out how men need to step it up! Babysitting their d!ck should not be an added burden to have to endure for both women involved in this scenario😂🎉❤

I just feel so sorry for the girlfriend at this point 😭😭😭 like free her if you’re not excited or happy

I wish all women would have more pride and dont slip into the side chick /pick me chick role. We always fear to lose our men to other women - why? Because there are ALWAYS women, who flirt with guys who are taken and they KNOW it. But they do it anyway. Imagine a world where we women finally stop rivalising (so damn much) and treat ourself like sisters. REAL sisters. If a men is taken - you should stop interacting with him. But there are SO many women out there with no self esteem but a big ass ego and just want to be stupid. I think men are much wiser in this topic.

@nikkimacg7290

5 жыл бұрын

However, real sisterhood is not only about blaming the girls for the flirting. It's the man who have girlfriends who should be held accountable. For allowing them to do it in the first place. They could easily put a stop to it right from the jump.

@PragyashriDeka

Жыл бұрын

@@nikkimacg7290 this comment >>>> I’m sick of everyone only blaming the girl.

“if he wanted me, he would simply come after me” that gave me a lot of ease to hear. im not gonna chase while he’s lying about her, it’s never that.

So in my experience (using vocabulary from your previous video), a man flirts with 'the hottie' and makes her his side chick while he dates a Meredith , whom he cannot (read: will not) leave because ..she is ..well...comforting. So hottie has to put up with stories about how terrible Meredith is when in reality, the man is just enjoying 2 women.

Cheating partners like this are a dime-a-dozen. I have been on both sides. When I was younger and unsure of myself I was targeted as the side chick by taken or married men. My advice, Pass them on by, who cares how physically hot they are. The emotional damage is real. Then in later relationships I became the doting, devoted gf that got cheated on. For those side chicks out there who are knowingly being one, it really does hurt your self-esteem in the long run and it can waste your time, and if he stays with her and she finds out, you are demonized. If the relationship does become something, it’s usually a constant struggle with woe about him cheating again and again. Getting to know someone for awhile and not have them push you into intimacy, is key. Just wait it out. You’ll be less attached if there is bad news.

I love the way she talks... She uses a lot of metaphors this was well received

“People are unconsciously manipulative” Shallon 2018 And ever since really 😏

This woman is giving away all our secrets. Very true.

this is EXACTLY what I needed right now. thank you SO MUCH !! I won’t waist time on this guy who just wants an ego boost anymore

I wonder why they stay in their relationship if they are interested in other girls... do they really love the girlfriend ? I don't think so, I think the girlfriend is just a comfort zone.

@bratzsnoopy

2 жыл бұрын

Like she said, it’s because guys and girls are different. Guys can like you a little bit, but just not enough to make you a gf. Weird stuff but I find it is true

@DiamondsRexpensive

Жыл бұрын

They like no one but their desires and women should start thinking like that if they want to win.

Married men who flirt are the worst... His excuse: “but I have kids..” But he has girlfriends outside his marriage.

I only disagree with the part that the wife/girlfriend isn't what he presents her to be because if she really was, he'd left her by now. No, a big resounding no. Because in my experience and observations men who do that are nothing but cowards. Yes, they fight with the wife/gf and yes she is bitchy and stupid and every single thing he says she is. He doesn't leave her, because she is the comfort zone. He has someone to keep the house, look after the children, cook and clean, and make sure everything is tidy when he comes back and that is comfort. No man likes to feel discomfort. And subconsciously, he knows he is not going to step out of his comfort zone for you, because he doesn't know if you will deliver or not. Thrust me, men who cheat are cowards. Nothing more, they are not that smart, they are that pathetic.

You just helped me avoid a really bad situation for myself. Every single data point you mentioned was so accurate. Thank you x

I’m really happy I found this video. I’m not the side chick, but I’ve had a crush on a guy for a long time who isn’t emotionally available and I’m pretty sure has a long term girlfriend but is keeping it a secret and off social media. After watching this video, I blocked him. I’m gonna work on bettering myself and realizing my self-worth. I deserve better.

Watched this video 3 years ago and yet here I am💀💔

@sandyloving3268

Жыл бұрын

😭😭😭😂

Shit this was definitely the wake up call I needed, thank you so much! We're coworkers so I don't think I can have the conversation with him but I'm definitely going to "break up with myself" and look for someone that's a better fit

There was no videos that could save me from my emotional crisis until I watched this. Shallon I cannot THANK YOU enough for your advice! I was confident about myself before until I met this guy online, he is extremely inconsistant and only texts me frantically only when he's bored. So I've been an idiot for being strung along for straight two weeks. But after listening to you, i feel so relieved!! I can't believe i have wasted so much time and energy on a guy!

I literally lost my breath watching this video because everything you said was 100% true and applicable to my situation. Your excellent communication skills, lived experiences, and vast knowledge have given you a special ability to solve problems and help people.

This guy and I have had so many moments together.then he told me he had a girlfriend after I expressed my feelings I took your advice and now I have an amazing bf

Thank you for this video. I really needed to hear it. And you are completely right. I’ve found myself in this position of a side chick that I no longer want to be in and I’ve decided it’s better to have no one than to be treated like I’m not number 1.

"to filter out psychopaths" LOL. Great advice btw.

I LOVE this video. Couldn’t have come at a better time. I met a guy earlier this year. He was always so hot/cold. He stood me up twice& I just left him alone for about 6 mo. Blocked him & deleted my SC. When I finally got my SC back, he was leaving these emojis 😍 on my pics&asking where I’ve been. He goes on to say he reached out to me many times&I just shut him out. Then I find out he has a gf, yet he still wants to “hang out “ . He always says I’m still sexy& how he’s still attracted to me, etc.... I definitely don’t want him. Especially seeing this is how he acts in relationships. The same thing he’s doing to his gf, he’ll do to me. .... I’m definitely permanently cutting off all contact with him. This back & forth half way cheating stuff is a waste of time. Thanks for this video sweetie

I have fancied this boy for a long time and there has always been flirty vibes between us and even though he only got a girlfriend 5 months ago he still flirts with me and it confuses me so much

You said alot of truths that i KNEW but needed to hear outloud. Decision made! Thankyou for being blunt af

Well said. I’m going thru this right now and have cut him off. Sad but true fact.

Block him :) feels so good

Listening to your videos is like Listening to a good friend. Thank you for putting the truth out there for those of us that fall for all the wrong men.

I really love your energy. Thank you for being like a sister- that everyone needs!

Girl, I LOVE u, this amount of truth is life saving... forever grateful

Thanks so much❤️ I need to wake up and date someone who 100% single🥺

Shallon, this is exactly what I need to hear. Thank you!

This message is FLAWLESS.

This is pure Gold, brilliant and valuable on so many levels. Every girl needs to listen to this. 🌟🌟🌟

Best relationship guru on youtube! Please keep the vids coming 💖

This girl is so cool.AND she helped me a lot! Thank you Shallon!

my ex was emotionally abusive ,very charming at the begining elusive in middle. I met him after my mom died. my biggest regret was not listening to my gut and killing my self esteem. later received a abusive call from her woman. he defended her, begged me to lie for him. never again I am letting that happen. i am placing a higher value on myself i am currently seeking a therapist. and getting the help i need

THANK YOU so much for saying this!!! I’ll keep this in mind.

I learned long ago I will not play second best for anyone, their not gonna leave their situation for you, your left with wasting time waiting for it to be convenient for him to see him, talk to him I want more for myself and I think would I want this done to me as far as him cheating on her,I don’t wanna be cheated on, great advice ty 😀❤️

You're right, it is simple. Advice is gold.

Thank you so very much for this video. I needed to hear all of this, and I'm sure I'll relisten several times to bolster myself enough to set boundaries. I feel so much better! Thank you!

So much wisdom here!

Girl YES! Needed this soooooo much!

saying this is so special as an excuse to not using common sense, shallon that one really got me, thx for always showing me the truth that I’m trying to hide from myself so badly 🙏

I just cut a man off after just finding out he had a long term girlfriend. We’re connecting, flirting and he wasn’t forthcoming. Once I asked, he said it was fine and he still wanted to continue. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that. Sir, bye! ✌️

This was so extremely helpful and accurate

Thank you for spitting FACTS!! I needed this ❤❤❤ Thank you so much :)

Wow you are soo right! This advice is spot on. Great video! ❤

I’ve just watched two videos of you and I’m completely in love with your channel ❤️ You are awesome! Thank you so much for teaching us and keeping it real in such unique and truthful way 💪🏻

This video is full of so much good advice.

Very powerful words of advice, and a great illustration of how cheap respect is to some people!

I love you girl, you really just opened my mind. All the words you said are so true. Thanks from the bottom of my heart

Spot on. This video is brilliant. Thank you for this. Xx

You look beautiful, and your advice is on point! Thank you for not withholding your information and life lessons you learned from us. This video is everything/life.

I love your points of view :) it’s so clear and simple

You're speaking fire here!!!! Thanks a lot for all the truth that I totally knew already but I needed to head from someone else

Shallon nails it yet again 💪💪💪

this video made me cry.. i couldn't agree more on everything you said

This probably has nothing to do with the actual video ( some parts do) but I just went through a horrible break up and watching your videos bring So much clarity.

L❤️VE this advice!

“Walk in the light of the truth.”

Quite simply , thank you Shallon.

Not gonna lie, this was like the best pep talk I’ve ever had. ❤️

Needed to hear this. Thank you.

You are amazing. I can't thank you enough for sharing this important knowledge.

This was so helpful!

Wow this was a great video this is something I’m dealing with and I needed to hear this

You have such incredible content.

Thank you Sharon needed to hear this

This is one of the best videos I found on this topic. Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve had some guys with girlfriends behave this way around me and didn’t quite know what to make of it.

I needed to hear this!!!

Wow, I love you. Thanks for the advices!

Preach Shallon, preach!

Great advice!!

Thank you so so so much for this. I am in a situation like this and I was like "we both like it and all, we can continue this without his girl knowing" but you woke me up and I am so f grateful for this video. I'm gonna talk with him and tell him what you told me. Thank you again

I love your truth and humor❤️

Thank you I really needed this.

Thank you for this. Goooooood I had the weirdest interaction tonight. I’m very attracted to someone on my staff. He’s obviously attracted to me and says all sorts of stuff to flirt with me. There’s also no secret he has a girlfriend. Sometimes I say coy things back to him. I definitely must be insecure or something because I like his attention but I know it’s bad news and try to pretend like I’m unfazed and don’t have feelings. It has to be so obvious. Tonight he told me he liked me. I kinda called him out on it. Mentioning that it’d be better if he didn’t like me. I told him that it’d be better if he didn’t because then he wouldn’t flirt with me. He said something about it not being that serious. I don’t know about him, but I’m trying to break out of my bad habits and bullshit ways. I didn’t try to make him feel bad, but I had to be straight even if it was uncomfortable. I have crossed boundaries before and deeply regretted it. It’s not worth it to break things because of the heat in the moment. I have been someone who has followed their lower nature and regretted it. It was so hard to be strong today but I did it. I hope that somehow I can continue to stay strong and get in my head the mentality of being the whole package and not just somebody’s toy. I am not a toy. You saying the comment about being someone’s toy really stuck out to me. I want to be a wife and a mother one day. I’ll take an awkward interaction like tonight with him for a stronger me, someone who is prioritized and guarded in a relationship. Not a toy. I am the prize. Looked for this video and so glad I found it. Thank you for your always brutal honesty sister frand.

@brianlee1417

Жыл бұрын

Does he still flirt with you and are you still attracted to him?

Great speech ! Much appreciated

I already know most of the stuff Shallon mentions in her videos, I am just watch cos I like listening to her talk.

F***ing love happy endings. Love you Shallon you’re a real one ❤️❤️

You are so intelligent thanks this helped me out so much!

WORDS OF WISDOM GUUUUUURL

I've watch all your videos, even if I don't fit in any of the situation that you describe on them hahahah! That's how much I admire your content!

I cannot say anything but Thankyou. Thankyou love for this wonderful peice of advice.❤️

Girl you crack me up - keep it real.

Thank you for this. I’ve been basking in the flirting and thinking about crossing the line. This helped..... 😩

I! Literally! Love! You! Wish I had a friend like you, you’re so real.

It’s the worst when I’m freshly single cos I came out of a bad relationship

💜 Thank you for this.

She’s so eloquent ❤️

Love you. You are a true life coach for gals. Your videos are gems.

This is so true. I can really relate. I love you and your videos. All the love from the Philippines ❤

Its a bummer because the guy is my manager at a job i actually really like. He waited 2 months to tell me he had a girlfriend. All the while flirting mercilessly. AND I work with her at my other job. He had so many opportunities that would have been natural to tell me. He praises me and makes me feel so special. My past has shown me that he's likely love bombing me. When I confront him he changes the subject or dismisses the issue. Red flags all over! He keeps pushing the boundaries and I feel so awful for not shutting it down right away. I was looking for the perfect video to explain the situation better while also seeking personal accountability . . . This is it . . THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!

Shallon, OMG! This video helped me so much! TY for speaking the truth :-)

THANK YOU FOR THIS ONE

I love you! Thank you for being real!

i needed to hear this

This is all that I needed!!!!