I have a phobia about speed bumps. I'm slowly getting over it.

@shanepereraedu

Жыл бұрын

That’s new 😂🤣

@ricileigh88

Жыл бұрын

😂 That's good.

@helenbranconier7686

Жыл бұрын

😂

@kathleen2754

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@jameshembree2006

Жыл бұрын

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo... One's really heavy, the other's a little lighter

Oh the poor dog who ate the Scrabble tiles 😢 his next trip to the toilet could spell disaster…

@LRTrack

Жыл бұрын

If dogs used a toilet. That would be nice for a spell.

@williamgullett5911

Жыл бұрын

disaster Is 8 letters

@incredulousd9408

11 ай бұрын

​@@williamgullett5911maybe the dog, accidentally mind you, defecated whilst running over the top of somebody's active game of Scrabble.

@williamgullett5911

11 ай бұрын

@@incredulousd9408 yes!!! He would have needed to use another players letter…unless it was the opening word. I should have thought about that.

@luciusaquila4326

10 ай бұрын

Checked his poop - but turned up a blank.

People are always shocked when they find out that I'm actually not a good electrician

@purplevanman9635

Жыл бұрын

I'm gonna use that one

@ClaudioDesideriFilms

Жыл бұрын

Ahahah consider this one stolen!

@AlphanumericCharacters

Жыл бұрын

I like it because it is all one sentence. Gets away from the setup/punchline strategy.

@katemiller5990

Жыл бұрын

Took me a moment…😂

@David-bl1bt

Жыл бұрын

​@@katemiller5990 Ahh....a lightbulb moment😅

My wife asked me if I was even listening to her. I thought that was a strange way to start a conversation.

@disuser-lp3qv1tm8f

10 ай бұрын

I laughed out loud at this one

@nicholascagezinho1505

8 ай бұрын

Hahahahah

@TheFartanSpartan

3 ай бұрын

Seriously underrated Dad joke

@JenIGottaSay

3 ай бұрын

😂

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

@warrior99s16

9 ай бұрын

I have a similar one with the same ending: last night I had this terrible nightmare. I can't remember it, but then it dawned on me.

@tinbanger66

2 ай бұрын

Couldn't figure out why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

I recently got a call from the local authorities who said it was reported that my dogs were seen chasing kids on bikes. But my dogs don't even own bikes.

@heliofaros1344

Жыл бұрын

How odd.

@tomikoivisto

Жыл бұрын

Well, obviously your dogs stole them.

@muriel5826

10 ай бұрын

Good one😂😂

I hear they will not be making 12 inch rulers any longer....

@disuser-lp3qv1tm8f

10 ай бұрын

That's too bad, cause Napoleon was a good one!

@BobC59

9 ай бұрын

Short one-liners like this are the best (no pun intended)

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion. He was outstanding in his field.

@sekarrathinam2578

9 ай бұрын

Good one. I would share it in my group. Thanks.

I own two shirts and some neckwear that used to belong to a guy who was in The Mamas & The Papas. All the sleeves are brown, and the tie is grey.

Everyone's so worried about their TV or smartphones spying on them when, in reality, it's the vacuum cleaner they should be worried about. That's thing has been collecting dirt on you for years.

@peterruiz6117

Жыл бұрын

L O L !!

@ianbeck2840

Жыл бұрын

Now that sucks.

@wheels-n-tires1846

Жыл бұрын

The wife asked me what was on the TV. I told her , "dust"... Thats when the fight started.

@sharp937

10 ай бұрын

Unironically the truth

@kyleward3914

9 ай бұрын

Just leave it in the woods. Nature abhors a vacuum.

I just started reading a book on anti-gravity...I can't put it down.

I once read a book on Super glue ..........I couldn't put it down ....

A guy at work fell into the upholstery machine. It’s OK. He’s fully recovered.

I identified as a flamingo to my close friends.The abuse I got was so bad,I had to put my foot down.

I rang the Tinnitus help line the other day. The phone didn't stop ringing.

I entered ten puns into a national Dad joke competition, hoping to win the top prize but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

@ClaudioDesideriFilms

Жыл бұрын

Beautiful ahahha

@rickhilliard2545

Жыл бұрын

A pun is only 2/3 of a pun...PU.

@damachine3

Жыл бұрын

@nashatbi You...are not very bright.

@pooritech

Жыл бұрын

🔥🔥🔥

Ok, my son told me one when he was only 4 years old. It was cute. Here it is. Why do sea gulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels 🤪😂

@peterruiz6117

Жыл бұрын

😅

@ed_lemons

Жыл бұрын

Heard that one a hundred times… still makes me smile

@planethedgehog2427

Жыл бұрын

So, if I hide a bag of methamphetamine or illegal narcotics in the crawl space above my ceiling, does that make that area a drug attic?🤔

@cjhoward409

Жыл бұрын

@@planethedgehog2427 Hahaha. Nice 👍🏻😂

@willemachternaam690

10 ай бұрын

And why are elephants big, round and gray? Because if they were small, white and square they would have been a sugar cube.

The other day, I watched two snails fighting on the sidewalk. They were really slugging it out.

@richa.s9912

Жыл бұрын

Oooohhhh rrrreeeeaaallyyy ????

@Appaddict01

Жыл бұрын

Yea, I heard it was a slug fest.

I use to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey,,,,,but I turned my life around.

@CallmeMrKelly

Жыл бұрын

Happy for you. That’s what it’s all about.

@Doshbuzz

Жыл бұрын

And that’s what it’s all about

@tinbanger66

2 ай бұрын

My friends say I'm addicted to brake fluid, but i can stop any time i want!

You guys are hilarious 😆 the comments had me cracking up! Thanks for the smiles everybody!

@Sylar-451

3 ай бұрын

I don't get this one but the rest have been funny!

I saw two pair of glasses insulting one another. Guess they were making spectacles of themselves..

The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought "this changes everything"

@timothymccarthy4704

11 ай бұрын

I fired my contractor who installed my staircase. I didnt know if the stairs led me up or down.

I can’t trust stairs.. they’re always up to something

@kelz3240

Жыл бұрын

To bad you will know whats going down🤔

@warrior99s16

9 ай бұрын

You can always look down at them.

Having sex on an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

@martinburns7928

6 ай бұрын

And you never know where to get off ! That an Up when you're in, a down when you're out,

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. It was bread in captivity.

@defenda1

Жыл бұрын

*takes small sip*

@XorbityXorbGlowbe

Жыл бұрын

☕️ 🗿

@ArcanePath360

Жыл бұрын

I went to a zoo and all they had was a little dog. It was a Shit zoo

@XorbityXorbGlowbe

Жыл бұрын

@@ArcanePath360 I heard that joke before

@whenuakitekid

Жыл бұрын

I took my son to a really small zoo today, it only had one dog. It was a Shih tzu

My dog are a bag of Scrabble tiles too. Our vet said he'd be fine after a vowel movement.

@chrisbenson6683

2 ай бұрын

*ate 🤓

Ghandi walked everywhere and his feet became thick and hard. He went on hunger strikes and became skinny and frail and his breath was bad. Despite all this, he was still spiritual. He became known as a: super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

@BobC59

9 ай бұрын

Wow. (ok, lol)

@markmassie3719

4 ай бұрын

Love it! 😂

@krazykat6066

2 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@Suelynngrr

2 ай бұрын

@@Jason_Hubred Yep! 😄

Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and leg cut off? The doctor says he's going to be alright, but the nurse says there's not much left

@disuser-lp3qv1tm8f

10 ай бұрын

I almost choked on this one

@thomasdemaio53

10 ай бұрын

@@disuser-lp3qv1tm8f that's what she said

The other day, the waiter asked me if I wanna box for my leftovers. I declined, but did agree to wrestle for them.

I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter what the clam strips were. He replied, “Well have you ever seen a chicken strip?” I responded, “I’ve never seen a chicken wear clothes.”

Me and my wife was at a motorcycle shop. She said she wanted something that goes from zero to 150 in under 5 seconds. I bought her a bathroom scale.

@Monica-il3rg

Жыл бұрын

😂

@KingCodd

Жыл бұрын

oh damn, emotional damage

@AriefLatif

Жыл бұрын

Savage

@eb1138

Жыл бұрын

Nice grammar.

@FrijolesLIVE

Жыл бұрын

@@eb1138 bruh stfu it’s literally just “me and my wife”

Best chance of survival if you're surrounded by clowns? Go for the juggler.

@DannyJoh

Жыл бұрын

carpe jugulum 👍

What do you call a deer with no eyes ? No eye deer ...

@willjones7682

Жыл бұрын

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea

@dillondank5662

Жыл бұрын

What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals? Still no f*cking idea

@DannyJoh

Жыл бұрын

​@@dillondank5662 What will you never see happening? Still no f*cking idea mate!

@LiveAnimalsStudio

Жыл бұрын

Actually, Deer paint their testicles with glitter… it’s pretty nuts .

What cracks me up the most is the long drinks from the mugs trying not to laugh

I wanted a small can of soda, so I headed north, to mini-soda…

@LRTrack

Жыл бұрын

How about this: "I asked my wife where can I buy those small cans of Pepsi?" She said, "You have to go to Minnesota."

I know a German sound engineer and a Czech one too.

@johnlemon9021

Жыл бұрын

I had to read it thrice to get it but damn

@marcysmith2851

10 ай бұрын

That’s awe--some!!!

@brianp2489

6 ай бұрын

Took me a sec

I got fired from my job at Pepsi yesterday...cause I tested positive for Coke!

@loltom3703

10 ай бұрын

Better told as: I got fired from Pepsi yesterday.... They found coke in my locker

@russm9495

10 ай бұрын

@loltom3703 not better but differently told as....however its a good line!!!...

@nicholascagezinho1505

8 ай бұрын

Solid

I wanna see a good hour of these back to back.. way too funny…

I lost my quality control job at the M&M plant for rejecting all the Ws.

@richa.s9912

Жыл бұрын

LOL 😂 but they were all E E E E E E E .

@MrTruckerf

Жыл бұрын

@@richa.s9912 The smartest M&Ms are the Ys. Because they are wise. Not stupid. Intelligent. Educated. But they still melt in your mouth, not in your hand. Unless your hand is hot and sweaty.

If a midget fortune teller escapes from prison, he would be a small medium at large.

@hedialaya3230

Жыл бұрын

Nice one

@Manuelgtrrz

Жыл бұрын

🤯🫠

@pooritech

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@rafaelbraganca7234

Жыл бұрын

Excelent

@David-bl1bt

Жыл бұрын

😅😂

A guy got arrested for helping a lady jumpstart her car. He was charged with battery.

Last night i kept dreaming about car mufflers, so much so that i woke up exhausted.

My wife was mad at me. To make up I asked her to go on a date. She left on August 23.

@craigreyburn2771

2 ай бұрын

You can have her back now, can you collect I live at ...... I'll pay for the petrol 😂

Love these compilations. The longer they go, the funnier they become.

@pricklycactusblossom6790

Жыл бұрын

Dang! Your comment caused me to laugh hysterically. I think I wet myself or I spilled my beer!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍 Either way, I'm going to sleep!

That dog bowl one will always be my favorite!

@Appaddict01

Жыл бұрын

The best.

@regdsouza7723

Жыл бұрын

I don't think it's actually the joke.. just the delivery 😂

@earlforrester4908

Жыл бұрын

A-Lo-Ha

@aparnashivyasen5307

Жыл бұрын

Can anyone please explain that joke.. I didn't get that

@kenc2257

Жыл бұрын

@@aparnashivyasen5307 A dog "bowl" is a shallow dish, or container, for holding the dog's food and/or water. In the USA, "bowling" is a game like "ten pins," where a heavy ball is rolled down a narrow wood lane towards "pins" [the object is to knock down as many pins as possible]. The joke that the man is thinking that dogs can play the "ten pins" game, while the wife is looking for the dog's food dish.

If you clean a vacuum are you a vacuum cleaner?

@mysticwine

Жыл бұрын

Vacuum cleaners suck...

@DannyJoh

Жыл бұрын

Since a vacuum is empty, there nothing to clean. If you work as a vacuum cleaner, don't worry, no pressure 😉

They are building a mirror factory beside my house.... I can really see myself working there.

I walked around with a roll of paper towels on my head. Then I realized I had a Bounty on my head.

@davidkleinthefamousp

Жыл бұрын

With a paper towel on my hat, ON my hat!

@Appaddict01

Жыл бұрын

That must have been tear-ifying.

@captmalreynolds1

Жыл бұрын

@@Appaddict01 I was just hoping to soak it all in.

I was metal detecting at the beach and found a beautiful diamond ring. Too bad the lady was still wearing it.

@richa.s9912

Жыл бұрын

LOL 😂

@craigreyburn2771

2 ай бұрын

Was the woman near water ? because if you can get the ring wet the ring should slip right off her finger 😂

Good, clean comedy. Rarity these days. Keep it coming.

@brucerabideau2872

Жыл бұрын

Fuck yeah twat snot

@steveaustin5344

Жыл бұрын

Coming... huh huh.

@karthiksekar3777

Жыл бұрын

Now you keep it clean....

Whenever my depression tries to get me, I can watch some of these awesome Dads and then I am laughing again! Thank you for this channel, much love ❤️

A man was sentenced to death via electric chair. The electric chair though, was sometimes faulty and not working. He sat in the chair, and was asked if he had any last words. He said “I won’t be shocked if this doesn’t work.

@JontheBerean

Жыл бұрын

A man sentenced to death by electric chair was asked by the prison guard : "Any last requests ?" He looked at the guard sadly and asked him : "Will you hold my hand ?"

Saw a lady with some vegetables in a bag. I warned her it had a leek in it.

What do you say a mushroom who went to a party? 'A funguy'

@hazelrah321

Жыл бұрын

That was in spore taste.

Last night, I saw a documentary on how WW2 battleships were put together. It was riveting.

@marcopohl4875

Жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the mining documentary I've watched, it was boring

You know the cementary on the other side of town? People are dying to get in there.

They hide their laughs behind the mug of coffee! 🤣🤣♥️

you guys trying to keep a straight face makes these even more funny 🤣

My wife told me she suddenly got a headache so I took up our pet cat and passed it around her head she asked me why I did that.Itold her I gave her a cat scan.

@timpointing

4 ай бұрын

Should have also have had your dog check her out... that would be the Lab test.😅

Nice to see the village people still hang out.

I couldn't believe it when my wife told me my spaghetti was actually lasagna. Turns out it was an impasta.

Brilliant work lads. So simple. And the delivery is spot on!

I asked my German friend today, "Heindrich, why do you have a piece of meat in the trunk of your car?" He said, "Vell, it's my spare veal."

@Appaddict01

Жыл бұрын

Nein

@disuser-lp3qv1tm8f

10 ай бұрын

😂

To all you TLOU2 and out there… what’s the down side to eating a clock? It’s time-consuming…

@geraldfrost4710

Жыл бұрын

Start with small portions. You can always go back for seconds.

@MelissaThompson432

Жыл бұрын

The down side is from 12 to 6.

@todokete6016

Жыл бұрын

@@MelissaThompson432 good one!😂

I had a great dad joke...but turns out I'm not the father

@disuser-lp3qv1tm8f

10 ай бұрын

This is actually a very good one, but I can't figure out why it's not as funny as it should be!

What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you! 🇨🇦

I have a chocolate bar called He-Him. Its got nuts. 😂

@traviso7810

9 ай бұрын

That's literally the Daily Wires, Jeremies Chocolates...lol. they have He/him with nuts and she/her without nuts. No joke...lol

Some of these are so bad it's funny. Love it. Best one has to be "told my wife to embrace her mistakes, so she hugged me".

@craigreyburn2771

2 ай бұрын

It's when she hugs the next door naber you should be worried lol or the plumber infact we should never mention embracing anything to are wives 😂

@DaveHuffman-iy8gp

Ай бұрын

A good dad is hard to find but the couch is a good place to start looking.

We were redoing some flower beds at my church. Someone suggested planting some herbs. I said that was a great idea … then we would have thyme for the needy.

They're making Dad jokes great again........

A snail started racing in nascar. Because all the numbers were taken, they used the letter S on the car. During the race, the car was so fast, the commentator said, " Look at that S Car Go!

The Rae Dunn mugs somehow add all the ambiance to the atmosphere. I love to hate how much I howl at these ridiculous puns

@Appaddict01

Жыл бұрын

I noticed the mugs, too.😂

@MelissaThompson432

Жыл бұрын

Did you notice they keep changing?

@Rosie_C

Жыл бұрын

I want to know how they have so many?! 😄

I saw three guys walk into a bar. I should have warned the third guy.

Love these jokes, can't wait to see my grandkiddos again.

The silence afterwards, the sagely nodding of the head and taking a drink of coffee just makes it that much better. Edit: I fail to understand the fascination of what it is they are actually drinking. It could be one of many things, I just happened to go with the first thing that crossed my mind.

@boorse

Жыл бұрын

I prefer them laughing

@MrGilperc

Жыл бұрын

How do you know it's coffee?

@pegtop5455

Жыл бұрын

I didn’t think it was coffee.

@VETERANMASTER

Жыл бұрын

I definitely never thought it was coffee. 😂

@muriel5826

10 ай бұрын

I like it when they occasionally lose control and laugh, too😂

Can't embrace all my mistakes, some have restraining orders against me

That thesaurus joke was off the charts. 15/10! 😂

@TheBoatMan877

Жыл бұрын

It was hilarious, amusing and laughter-inducing

@donaldkasper8346

9 ай бұрын

It was predictable, boring, and uninteresting.

Man, you guys have me howling! 😂. Totally love it.

Two hilarious new ones! Nicely done!

I couldn't stand to much coffe, so I quit for an instant.

Why doesn’t a state worker look out the window in the morning? Because then they would have nothing to do in the afternoon.

I'm an anesthesiologist. People die laughing when I use the wrong sleeping gas.

2 men were driving for hours going bear hunting. They saw a sign that said, Bear left, so they went home.

You guys are as funny it gets!!😂😂😂

I had a great job at Starkist Tuna. But then I got canned.

I don’t trust trees. They all seem kinda shady to me.

I thought the duck one you were going to say he had "quacked lips"

The thesaurus joke, I thought the punchline was going to be "I didn't have the words."

My police department's SWAT officer is Catholic. In church, he never sits in the front row. Instead, he sits about half-way back in the congregation. That's because he always focuses on the center of mass!

@geraldfrost4710

Жыл бұрын

At church police officers all sit together in the middle rows. They concentrate on the center of mass.

@beyondnow1600

Жыл бұрын

Dont get it

@planethedgehog2427

Жыл бұрын

@@beyondnow1600 Center of mass. Middle of a person's body where one shoots to stop the threat.

@beyondnow1600

Жыл бұрын

@@planethedgehog2427 got it 👍

You guy are so good..... I watch it over and over. Cause its the best, cleanest and funniest jokes on tube... Keep it coming

I didn't know about that guy who evaporated. That news probably went up in smoke.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.!.!.!.! The best dry wit if heard in a long time.

I pushed the envelope once. It fell off the table.

@geraldfrost4710

Жыл бұрын

I tried pushing the envelope, but it was still stationary.

The dog bowl joke is my all time favorite. Love the videos.

I watch just to see what new way he drinks from his mug…

Logan your channel with this has got me a bunch of times & I'm not a dad. Thanks for the laughs ☺️.

I’ve been trying to remember every joke

My mom told me when she was little, her big brother told her to call the local store and ask if they had Prince Albert (pipe tobacco) in a can. The clerk said yes, so she told him to let the poor guy out! I was drinking a glass of water and almost drown on it !!! One of these days it's going to happen to one of you guys!

@BobC59

9 ай бұрын

I did that one Some poor clerk on the other end spent several minutes looking for it. The. We’s call a random number and ask, “Is your refrigerator running?” Upon confirmation, we’d reply, “Well, you better go catch it before it gets away!” Aah, the good old days

@savage22bolt32

9 ай бұрын

@@BobC59 ah yes, we pulled that one a couple of times (way before caller-ID)

Went for groceries today and I was appalled at what I saw. Who told them they could have a leek in the produce section?

@BobC59

9 ай бұрын

Because they were told, “Lettuce turnip and pea”!

Why did the restaurant on the moon fail? Because even though the food was good, it had no atmosphere.