This is exactly our situation. Our son treats us like we are bad people. Thanks for the insight into our family situation. I think we can better cope with it.

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

So sorry for your situation. Glad the video was helpful. I hope other of our videos are helpful as well.

@AnneG.315

3 ай бұрын

It’s the same for us I just can’t understand how an adult child’s mind can be completely changed . Because of one comment I made

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

@@AnneG.315 so sorry for your situation. Brainwashing is extremely strong in alienation. I do hope our videos help you.

Dignity, Respect, Civility belongs to us all at birth. Sometimes you have to just let them go their own way when they’re toxic.

@gs-rz9zs

3 ай бұрын

Agree, but a ' toxic' opinion, would benefit from 3-4 other family member opinion of what person is struggling with, so simply ' labeling' is not happening.

This happened to my brother. His wife managed to estrange our whole family through my brother. In my nine years of doing peer support for estranged parents, third parties are the majority of cause for family estrangement. The in-law or the parent's ex-spouse manipulate and control until they have everyone eliminated from a son or daughter's life, including their friends. Mentioning cult-like thinking, yes, thank you because that's so true. If you know much about cults, they are famous for influencing the shunning of a cult member's family. Examples are Scientology and Jehovah Witnesses. In the end, my sister-in-law ended up divorcing my brother and accused him of being the controlling one.

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 күн бұрын

So very sad. I am sorry for your situation. I do hope our videos help you.

I was .gobsmacked while listening to this. Our own family situation to a tee with the added bonus that the DIL's own Mom is a manipulator as well. Befriended me when her daughter was not talking to her and then attacked me once she was "brought back into the fold".

@lupin4444

3 ай бұрын

Same. Coleman told me this is common.

@kristiflanagan122

Ай бұрын

Same - I don't even recognize my son anymore. DIL mom is also not mentally stable and is playing into this. We are so heartbroken.

@lupin4444

Ай бұрын

Same for our family, we are all shocked by the "adjustment" our son has done. I feel for everyone involved, and unfortunately for me, at this late date in life I have yet another hard job to manage. I am so tired. @@kristiflanagan122

@Steph18844

Ай бұрын

@@kristiflanagan122 Same. My heart hurts. I have faith but after 8 years it is diminishing. I know your pain and grief.

Cultural differences really begin to wave red flags in a marriage.

This is so descriptive our situation. I don't even recognize my son anymore. We were caught very off guard as we had taken in our to be DIL and loved her as our own and had no idea of the manipulation going on behind the scene until it was too late. The struggle I have is that we never did say anything negative about her, we loved on her very much. I don't know what we would say in an amends letter. The accusations that have been made towards me from our son (who has admitted that he never saw us that way until someone pointed it out) are so hurtful and it very much seems like he is living in an alternative reality than the rest of his family. He has also thrown away his two sisters who he was very close too. He absolutely acts like we are dead and he won't acknowledge us when we bump into him because we live in a small town. Even after the estrangement I have sent gifts and cards at birthdays and Christmas but now those are even being returned. I know the DIL has mental issues as she is a recovering anorexic and is insecure, afraid of abandonment and doesn't like to be alone. We just don't know how to navigate something that seems so unnavigable. I'm beginning to think we just let him go and hope that some day he will realize what has happened.

@FamiliesDividedTV

Ай бұрын

I truly understand. I do hope many of our other videos help you. Stay strong and trust God.

I have grown comfortable with estrangement. My son in law is too abusive.

Most often a woman says MY child instead of OUR child. Most often (and I don't know why) a mother wants to alienate a child from the father, and I don't know why that is either. As you said, you are having to deal, or try to help with is subject "THESE DAYS." Something certainly did change. Any idea why women need or want to separate the son or daughter from the father?

@gs-rz9zs

3 ай бұрын

Agree, the 2 Family Concept (Everyone has 2 Families) is NOT being Said, taught, & respected by Many Adults, churches, Medias, Gov services, & even many 'professionals'.... It is taught more in close communities, certain congregations, & by Good Families. Also, clearly Radical Feminism, Medias, GOV., secular Fed & state laws, & Bad court opinions, are causing many Women to over extend their family wants, & it takes wise or ethical Men to speak & end that.

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

It sadly is both the men and women doing this.

@gs-rz9zs

3 ай бұрын

Yes Both women & men doing this...that said, women are clearly doing this 3 or 4 women to 1 man, as 75-85% of Separations or divorces are filed by women, in almost every county of USA. Easy to verify. Bad family court laws, & gender bias against Make Parents within broken family subgroups(not regular Generational Families), is causing this harm to Kids....

@orangeandslinky

3 ай бұрын

@@FamiliesDividedTV Why is it by far mostly women? I don't know. Do you?

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

@@orangeandslinky I think there are more men than we think. They are just not as vocal as are the women. I just a few minutes ago recorded an upcoming Families Divided for July with Dr. Carol Golly. She is speaking about the difference in the men and women in alienation. Very informative.

@Dr Coleman: I hope that one day our only grandchild will find this video podcast, & it dawns on her that the (paternal) grandparents that she was forbidden to spend time with, were in fact NOT the bad guys that her mother programmed her to believe. I also hope that finding this video will make her realize that her dad gave up his parents in order to see his daughter grow up. There was no recognition or respect for the fact that the 30 yrs the MIL spent raising & nurturing the kind of MAN that was suitable to her, was wiped-out by an unwillingness to embrace the husband's parents as a part of her "extended family."

@danaendelaney4549

3 ай бұрын

“Her dad gave up his parents in order to see his daughter grow up.” 💔 We have to move into healing. 💔to ❤️‍🩹

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

I totally relate. So sorry for your situation. I do hope our videos help you.

I’ve been reading and seeing videos on Grandparents Rights in Australia. It’s a huge deal. It is considered elder abuse and child abuse to keep kids from their grandparents there. Quite inspiring. They have huge organizations around it. Because this is becoming a bigger and bigger problem in America I think it’s time we UNITE AROUND THIS ISSUE AND GET LAWS TO PROTECT OUR RIGHTS AND OUR GRANDCHILDREN’s RIGHTS!

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

I totally agree! BTW Dr. Many Matthewson will be doing an episode on grandparent alienation in Australia. soon here.

I have to say that staying away will make a difference

I've been told the psychological term when there is a third party is alienation. In psychology, estrangment is used when the cut off is due to a legitimate reason. And often, the gatekeeper is a seriously disturbed Narsissist or Borderline Personality disorder. I guess Coleman is wanting us to ignore all that and approach the situation with kit gloves. But the situation rarely changes. These women want an unhealthy level of control over her husband and kids. Its just like Parental Alienation, in how harmful it is.

that first composit - :o - is EXACTLY our scenario - including the relationship (or lack of) with his sister and the lovely relationship the couple has with HER family.

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

So very sorry for your situation. I do hope our other videos help you.

@kristiflanagan122

Ай бұрын

Us too, we were very close and our son has chosen to throw away his two sisters as well as his parents.

Very insecure young woman. They have low self esteem to have the son turn against his only mother. So sad😢 that our adult kids in this world our really pulling away. They call it independence. I call it NARC and ungratefulness

I like how the guy respects girlfriends introversion. Why do extroverts have to push their ways on other people.

@justChristine

3 ай бұрын

@@lupin4444 I don't agree with the introvert being the overly anxious type person maybe if I was born with a more sensitive brain I would enjoy quiet pleasures, reading, painting, nature, one-on-one conversations, uncrowded activities et cetera. AN EXTROVERT will enjoy showing their dance skill, singing for the group, throwing a party, group conversation, leading games played etc. Problems occur when either type is not respected for their individuality.

@lupin4444

3 ай бұрын

@@justChristine from the research about the interplay of personality traits with Jung's extrovert/introvert theory: "Neuroticism was identified as the most crucial risk trait for depression and anxiety symptoms, while agreeableness was the most central protective trait." both extroverts and introverts can score high on neuroticism.

How does this work when you have a child who is behaving in extremely narcissistic very destructive behavior, like slandering people lying about the very people that they wanted to rely on to watch their own children? Then to turn around and destroy the very special close bonding relationship that we had with our grandkids. Now now my six year-old granddaughter is emotionally affected by my daughters destructive personality and doesn’t understand why she can’t call her grandparents every day anymore or spend the night every weekend or be picked up from school from Grandma two or three times a week for fun. All things that my daughter had asked me to do for her so that she could have time to finish work or take a break. Get some sleep. I was out for my daughter and my grandkids and somehow I’ve been made to look like a bad person. Because I wanted my son and his wife over for Easter with their baby when my granddaughters just happened to be here. Because my daughter hates the sister-in-law now we are being accused of being bad people and Treated like we’re unsafe for the grands . my daughter can’t get along with anyone and has destroyed several relationships through gossip and slander and accusations, out of revenge over trivial things

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

So very sorry for your situation. I hope our other videos help. You may contact Dr. Coleman with your question at the email address given at the beginning of the video.

Either A Daughter or Son, or Mom or Dad, can violate the family, but most situations today are usually the Mom or Daughter ( not all), because of wrong Entitlement for women is being peddled in almost all areas, wrongly. Real Justice & balance needs to be taught in families & by Parents.

I agree with you but I’m not writing anything ti my daughter in law why? I trust life will take care of her

Wow! Maybe I had it all wrong. Before marriage my dil told me she wouldn’t call me Mom because she already had one and didn’t need another. I took it that she was close to her Mom. After first baby she thanked me for helping and said her Mom wasn’t helping. But then 15 years later she turned against me. My son started to be abusive and I had to detach. So confusing.

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

So very sorry for your situation. I do hope other of our videos help you.

Son-in-law

@FamiliesDividedTV

3 ай бұрын

Yes sadly it goes both ways.

I can’t believe this guy has a license still. Unbelievable

@lupin4444

Ай бұрын

get a job beyond the hours you spend harassing estranged parents on the web.