The damage that these demons inflict on us is just horrible! I pray for my healing and the healing of each and every person that reads this. God bless

@jessiesing1034

3 жыл бұрын

Amen thankyou my prayers join yours ✌Peace all

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! For you as well! ❤️

@theforensicbadass

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Janet. How kind of you. I wish you prayers and healing too, God bless! ❤️

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

Amen! Me as well! All the best for everyone!!

@TT-ls1yz

2 жыл бұрын

Aameen🤲🏼

If we do not respect ourselves we will attract people who will disrespect us. It is so very true. Thank you Michelle. I like listening to your soothing voice. Have a beautiful day.

@ladennayoung2939

3 жыл бұрын

At times certain types of people will still try to approach you regardless. But when you are healed/healing. You will not tolerate things that you have in the past. You will be willing to say no and stick to it. You will set boundaries, and you will not bend them, just to appease to someone else. It is not about who is supposedly attracted to you, but it's about how you respond to them. Have a blessed day/week.

Try to remember the person you was and own it,drink water and eat right, stay on your purpose,and stop the emotional thinking,you can be gas lighting yourself, think positive thoughts remove toxic people out of your life that dont serve you anything, work on you ,focus on yourself, even if its getting out and fishing,hiking ,nature walks, enjoy yourself when your out in having fun own it .

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

Excellent advice! Thanks! 🙏🤗🍎

@garycordle5295

3 жыл бұрын

@@lesleygarvs4640 your welcome

@garycordle5295

2 жыл бұрын

@@kirstenvogel9620 I'm glad 🙏

@chickenlittle4014

2 жыл бұрын

I was a baby bean

The minute a person shows you they are evil let them be. Love yourself!! When you love yourself people respect you.

That's so interesting. A few months ago when I decided to let go of ruminating about them and just move forward and focus on all the things I needed to do, I noticed a wave of terror come over me. I immediately felt vulnerable.

Hi Michele, you’re doing god’s work. The govt. politics, education systems, mental health all stay silent on Npds

@leahc8347

3 жыл бұрын

Agree. I discovered just the word "narcissist" when I was googling the behaviour of a wicked manipulative two timing Social Worker!! Its scary some of them are in our system! Then when I later left shaken traumatised after a "situationship" I took myself off to some talk therapy, and the word came up again, the councillor said he sounded narcissistic (bareing in mind I was still half covering up for him) and I suggested I do my own research on narcissim. Ever since Ive been doing my research and was also surprised to learn I was brought up in very Narcissistic environment, (and ppl would say forget your childhood and move on!) and now Im more aware how relevant it was with putting up and rose coloured glasses on narcissim because I became so accustomed to it. Still finding extremely difficult to find good people and relationships that dont break down. In the meantime I still feel so scared and traumatised Im keeping away from most people until I find (safer) people to associate with, but I fear Im so broken, healthy people wouldnt want to associate with me (drawn to me) anyways, but Ive been "hurmit'izing" for a very long time, but when I have courage again I will be looking out for relationships that treat me with more respect hopefully, but still somewhat doubt my judgement. .. thanks for listening, Ive waffed on..

@imperfectillustration6261

2 жыл бұрын

Don’t forget the Church…it’s like no one in the church I used to go to had any clue. I had to leave to protect my emotional well being.

@sll110

2 жыл бұрын

YES

1. Calm your nervous system. Start your day with breathing, meditation, reprogramming, healthy food, humming 2. Observing yourself, notice your feelings and thoughts. These 2 solutions need time.

I was not consciouss of how much attention i put on other people s lives, or tasks... No wonder I had no power to my own life or tasks. I was and still am usually tired... Yes, of course, I am focusing on things that nobody see or care... That s what narcissists do to us... Make us always worried, checking each detail to perfection to give them pleasure... And forgetting our own pleasure and life.. I didn t notice it at all... Now for the first time I wanted to pipi and first it felt urgently, but then it felt normal... Before i had to go just anywhere to discharge nervous nervous... This is a great sign of my body already regulating its functions, as with narcissists... You can not even go to the toilet in peace! 🤦‍♀️💆‍♀️

I went through this and still is; It feels stressful expressing myself at times but I still do.

@FromSurvivingToThriving

3 жыл бұрын

Good for you for not giving up - the reality is it gets more uncomfortable before it gets better... but it does get better =)

@DionneJourney

3 жыл бұрын

@@FromSurvivingToThriving Thank you so much Michele

@izi.z2384

3 жыл бұрын

How's the journey going Sis? I am one my journey too.

@ladennayoung2939

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah. They make you feel that way. They always try to crush your spirit or whatever. They pretend to be kind, sweet, and patient. But they are bullies in disguise.

@longstoryshort8657

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the same

I am in this war right now. I'm having to adjust my thinking while I'm living with my N parent. But I have to get out of that flight or fight feeling

Telling someone to stop thinking about the toxic person especially when still trauma bonded and going through a discard or even shortly after is definitely not helpful and extremely difficult to do. I was told the same thing. Yes we definitely need to get ourselves to a calm and safe stage first to be able to start healing.

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

Try hot bath with salt and green juices... You ll feel soo good in the present time, your mind will forget about the past and start enjoying the present... Also any type of grooming... Massages, manicures, wear make up, flirt with yourself in the mirror and act happy... Tell to yourself:my new life has began... Don t see negative news or movies, and receive only positive people who make you laugh... Boring people... No💆‍♂️😁🍎🤗

It's so hard for me to focus on myself. I know that I really need to, but it's very hard at the same time

Emotional abuse is defined by the intentional inflictetion of pain and suffering on on another person' indangering there Emotional well being im getting the silent treatment from someone I adore ❤

@fairygurl9269

3 жыл бұрын

Radical Acceptance And Realistic Expectations, what Compassionate Advice would you Offer a Loved one in such a circumstance as you find yourself in at this Moment?? Also to Investigate What core "probably false" Beliefs are being triggered in you By this & where did they originate???

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

Why do you adore someone cruel to you? I know, this person is so undercover... It s imperceptable to feel their poison... You ll always be guessing if it s true or not what you are feeling... My ex boyfriend... I still somehow have doubts if he was a narcissists... Yet the little hints he gave, his lifestyle, and the way I felt around him, that s it! Run while you can, as they drive you crazy... And you don t even notice the poison comes from them... 💆‍♂️🤦‍♀️🏃‍♀️🚽

@rosierb852

Жыл бұрын

I don’t care intentional or unintentional it’s wrong especially Im if they keep doing it!

I am so happy and grateful that you touched upon this topic, Michelle. For someone who can't afford therapy, this is sooo helpful ! I am still married to a malignant covert narcissist and taking care of myself is like charging myself before I get drained at the end of the day:) I cherish every moment that I am not around him , by just being myself. Oh and that humming just does the trick! Thank you😘🌸

@baroquefiddle4790

3 жыл бұрын

My heart ached reading your words. I am so so sorry for what you are having to endure. I am the adult child of 2 narcissistic parents and I know to torture involved. Irene Lyon has fantastic free resources on her website. I wish you the very best on your healing journey, my experience of healing is it was very intense, very painful and very difficult and at time very hard to stay alive and it eventually gets easier and fun xxx

@ladennayoung2939

3 жыл бұрын

Is there no way that you can divorce him?

My Christian circle dont undetstand that people like this exists and encourage me to hold on to a person who wants to erase me from his life

@nancykabata7401

3 жыл бұрын

I'm going through the same thing. My group thinks am not praying enough.

@ladennayoung2939

3 жыл бұрын

Just talk to God about everything when it comes to your life. People are just people, they can't take the place of God. They will not understand a lot of things. God knows everything. He always have your best interest, and He will never steer you in the wrong direction.

Wow. This makes so much sense. I haven’t focused on me in a long time. And I notice what I miss most is loving him. He didn’t love me, but I felt like I made him happy & seem to be addicted to that.

Its hard when its your mom. I keep myself secluded in my home but she calls me with her problem I try my best to keep my mouth shut. Its hard when your mom gives everything for everyone else except for you. Its hard when she always want to be the hero for everyone else and complains about how many problems she has. I try to focus on myself but when my dad need moral support because he is about to lose a job an got injured and she don't even know how to listen. Its hard been empathetic. And you can't even talk to your only sister because she's very close to your mom and says yes to everything my mom says because she lives with them rent free with her three boys. Its hard.

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

Because you have to leave all of them behind! 🏃‍♀️... All that you are talking... It s too much for you... These people don t like solutions... They like drama... Reason why your efforts to create or find peace and harmony turns into pain... You are just being their supplement... I know is so sad, yet when you are out... You understand how unfair they are to make you even slightly believe that all their chaos has something to do with you... They gave me all these toxic guilt even as a child... Now I finally see that if someone get injured, od your dad loses his job... That s his problem, not yours... If there would be something realistic you could do... These people always have bad luck... And even worse bring you bad luck... So run away... And clean and forget and start a new life... People who remind you traumas, negativity, drama... Simply kick them out... As they are trying to sabotage your efforts to a normal life... Normal life exists... Far from these scumbags... 🏃‍♀️🚮💣🚽

@baby-xp9dn

3 жыл бұрын

I so understand you...i go through the same thing...

@jovannawacheleski2630

3 жыл бұрын

@@lesleygarvs4640 oh my Goodness thank you! You have confirmed my dream last night. I was going to travel some where with family. They went ahead of me but I felt soooooo free and happy and felt it was finally time to enjoy my life. Than as I was going up the stairs my parents where on the way blocking me while they were arguing about something petty. Your very much correct 👏 👌 👍 I have told my husband that we need to move at least an hour away. We live 5min drive from their home biggest mistake I could of done honestly we bought our house. But it's true it is sad like you said because my dad whose raised me since I was nine has always been there for me but he needs to have courage and do he's own thing. I am not responsible for anyone's emotions or actions. Thank you!

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

@@jovannawacheleski2630... Mmm.. Could it be at least 2 hours away...😁🏃‍♀️...all the best!!!

@keithstewart7514

Жыл бұрын

YOUR best resource is in wait for you to gain your independence from them & thrive in ur own way that doesn't include them. Doing so will cause their harmony to waiver & they will try to cause you harm again til you break the Famdamnly cycle.

I totally get the part where you can kind of feel everyone else's emotional state, but just get blank when trying to feel your own. It takes a lot of work and practice to actively focus on what's going on inside oneself before it slowly starts to become the new default. Thank you for another great video Michele! Your tips has been very helpful and a big part of my recovery and healing from narcissistic abuse!

@vanwin2804

7 ай бұрын

yes, because for the longest time, you’re not allowed to feel your own thoughts, all the gaslighting!

I've lived like this my whole life.

Being what everyone demands of me and needing my loved ones acceptance has been my identity since my teenage years. It’s terrifying to focus on myself, because it feels like I’m letting go of my loved ones and I need to always focus on fighting for them and the relationship. After a while, after a relationship ends, I’m able to enjoy self love and care but it takes time. And once im in contact with anyone, even in a new relationship that isn’t abusive, I get anxious and feel im not enough if I self care. And so the cycle repeats itself. Although I don’t tolerate abuse, I still stay and try to work through it beyond saving. Im just realizing this after twenty years- my fear of self love and care while in a dynamic with another person. My fear of losing them trumps loving myself.

That tangled path analogy reminds me of a recurring dream I'd have years ago of clearing a path through a thickly reeded swamp (and building an elevated path behind me). Probably the very same theme.

Been struggling, just woke up to a myriad of flashbacks 😣 thanks for the pertinent info 🖤

The minefield analogy really hit home. On an unrelated note, I really wish I could hug you.

Keep dreaming of him. I keep praying that God will help me release him from my body and mind. It's been 9 mos no contact. (a few hoover's 4 mos ago). Yesterday I was angry and told God I'm tired if this. This morning I got up and prayed for help again. It's one day at a time.

@CynthiaAva

3 жыл бұрын

@Child of Christ I couldn't find him. i looked.

@mindylehrman6471

3 жыл бұрын

A little over 10 months out from a 2.5 year manipulationship, and me too.. you aren’t alone. Still struggling with emotional flashbacks and ruminating. Almost daily someone will say something and I get a memory from when I was with him. People say I just need to let go. Believe me, if there was a switch, I would’ve already flipped it 🤦🏼‍♀️ it’s more frustrating and annoying for us than it is for the people who have to hear us reminisce... you are not alone on this journey 🙏🏻💪🏻💜

@bmoremom8458

3 жыл бұрын

Look up prayers to break ungodly unloving “soul ties” which are trauma bonds and you will be free! I prayed with a friend who just divorced after 18 years of a dysfunctional marriage and she said she feels healed and forgives her captor etc. Pray out loud it works!

@ladennayoung2939

3 жыл бұрын

Just block and delete him, and press forward with your life. Nine months isn't that long. You are going to have to give yourself sometime. But definitely blocking and deleting him from your phone, and removing yourself from Facebook, Instagram, and things of that nature will help.

@ladennayoung2939

3 жыл бұрын

@@ruthchristos7174 Forgive yourself and focus on healing. Why be mad at yourself? Stop looking at the past. Thank God for bringing you out of it, heal, share what you learned about narcicisstic personality disorder with other individuals, and thrive. At this point in life you are only hurting yourself, by replaying the situation, pain, and hurt they inflicted onto you over and over on your mind and heart. You are a winner. You are a conqueror, and you WILL win. Speaking and claiming victory over yourself is the only way that you will win in Jesus name. Knowing that you are loved by God, and that you have the victory, is the only way that you WILL win in Jesus name.

Just today I was thinking how hard it is to forget all these people... And it s what you say, the abuse was so intense, it created a wound, or an infection, even phisically in my case, so patience is so important... Thank you, Michelle for being an inspiration, and your constant efforts! 🙏🤗❤️

I'm at that point right now Fight with in myself what I try to do is work out ( if I feel I'm going there in my head ) I grab a set of dumbbells Most of the time it works

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

Try hot bath... Or sea bath... Also nice...

I love her advice as she had really experience what she is talking about. The best advice for victims are from victims themselves and i can so attune to her.

Jesus this is speaking to me right now, not perfect but the things I’ve been through I’m stuck in flight or fight mode 🤦🏿‍♂️

Moral of the story, intuition prevails. We don't disconnect due to other people's awareness and opinions. We trial the facts in order to see what works. And when it works we better know it. Wives tales are bluffs. 🙏

@bjacob9998

10 ай бұрын

It’s psychological control often through the mind control of the brain/behavior studies.

💞🌻Thanks to People Like Yourself I do feel more Peace and Sense of Safety than I could've ever imagined was possible, even in moments of Distress.

Even if i appreciate all I've learned by making sense of hell i still miss parts of my old self. How much life and light he had, how he looked and the many chances and opportunities he had.

Great advice Michele 👌 It’s a step by step process of self discovery where our nerves are calmed in a safe and caring way. Sometimes you gotta feel it to heal it, meaning it hurts initially peeling off the bandaid but then it feels soooo much better. The short term pain is worth the long term gain of self Respect & Freedom ♥️

@cindyc

3 жыл бұрын

Not sure if you or KZread deleted your other comment. But, definitely agree with standing up for yourself and holding firm boundaries.

So true, we have to learn how to read ourselves and our emotions, thoughts. But calming the nervous system is so hard. It's pure nightmare but worth every effort. Thank you for your channel. 🙏🎆👏

I feel like you climbed into my body to make this video. I remember even when I very first started seeing a therapist, my mind literally interpreted her as an enemy. Which I knew meant, I was doing the right thing. This is so painful to accept and process.

This is such a great topic and some brilliant advice here about focussing on your body. I found that focussing on the emotions in my body using a mixture of Claire Week's float theory and David Hawkin's Letting Go technique really helped me recover. Moving away from thoughts and onto feelings. Breaking the cycle of prefrontal cortex rumination. 💜

You're an absolute angel! Thank you so much!

Oh jeez. 😳🥺 The pitbull with rabies analogy is spot on !!! 🙌💕👍

You are an angel.

This exactly what I am going through it feel I am too focused on other people's lives

Only reason I am here - Michelle ❤️😉

You look so pretty! Love that color on you 🤩

@cyndigooch1162

3 жыл бұрын

Wendy Thomas I was thinking exactly the same thing and didn't like to write it! I love the background as well. 😍

This video could not have come at a better time 🙏

Wow, that metaphor with the mine field hit so close to home for me. Nothing ever made this so clear to me. Thank you very much. Great video!

Thank you for this video, it's really enlightening. That bit about being able to read what other people are feeling when you walk into a room but not understanding your own feelings as much makes a lot of sense. And on an unrelated note, the top you're wearing is a lovely colour! ☺️

The subconscious does not understand negation. Saying stop thinking about is heard as think about. I studied hypnotherapy a while back I think it's called pharsing. Don't remember the jargon. But I can tell you for sure there is a need to reframe speech patterning to avoid using negation to elicit action.

@catwoman3247

3 жыл бұрын

I agree 👏

@cyndigooch1162

3 жыл бұрын

Damian Neve I remember learning about that many years ago and it makes sense too. 🙂

Yes, the video is great...i have listened to you since some time..but now i realizing how eye opening are your videos...i exactly like what you describe cannot focus on myself...

I completely relate. Started with parents, bullied and tormented through out childhood and I ended up in DV situations. I have been in a constant state of fight or flight mode my entire existence. I am 52 now and honestly am surprised I am still alive given my stress lvls.

☺ brilliant Michelle thankyou for putting the info together so concisely its hard succinct thinking on these things with the way that cptsd affects the brain. Much love for ur great work compassionate & insightfully done as always xx

Thank you for this video. I appreciate your videos very much.

This is great Michelle! We need more people bringing awareness that this is a thing, normalizing it and providing solutions!! 👏🏾 👏🏾 Thank you for focusing on your purpose and doing the work!!! ❤

I started doing this for 2 days. And it fells like going insane.

Michelle has nailed it , and her soothing presence makes the message much more affecting.

Unhealed CPTSD can cause narcissism. Actually, narcissist are traumatized children who suffered from CPTSD, and are now narcissistic adults.

Michelle really knows what it's about, To not only be abused by Narcissistic people, Michelle really understands truly understands being an Empath/HSP, like no other I've heard, is really Genuine & is a true gift to us all, Thankyou so much for sharing yourself with us all we are very Blessed by you to learn ourselves through you, Bless you always Michelle 🙌❤

Thank you for this video

Amazing amazing insight!

So appreciate you Michele

This is truly helpful information.

What a brilliant video thanks so much Michele x

You are really good at this.

Great video Michele!

Your videos are so healing to my soul and spirit Michele. I'm feeling more centered and grounded today.

Thanks🌹That explains a lot.

Thanks Michele

Words and activites can have some feature of "how do i do this". So when i do a you tube hynosis or meditation im slowing down the central nervous system and increase parasympathetic nervous system. The narc is 6feet away but no biggy cause when she tries to interact i use Ross Rosenberg's observe don't absorb. She know i will process any verbalizations she makes and if it takes longer than she thinks it should. She will say something. I will then reframe the situation and verbalize that "i'm not you". Which is helpful because she lacks object constancy. If she asks again she will get the same reaction from me ("i am not you"- that could be used as michelles broken record technique). It may help her increase her cognitive empathy. She then will increase her own ability to filter her thought before she just says them. It would be aversive if she repeated her question or said why are you still thinking. She will hear " i'm not you". I use these words because narcs think everyone is their possession. They own you. So she had heard this so many times that it can become an introject. I couldn't tell you if it will be or is egosyntonic (not emotionally foreign or negative\emotionally painful or egodystonic (emotionally foreign and possible painful emotionally).

The information in this video is reassuring me 🌹🌹🌹 Lovely to know This. Its 'encouraging... And really going to help us Heal 🙏. Thank you Michelle 🌹🙏🙏💕💕

You looking great in this colour..thanks for this video

I find you one of the better 'experts' on this subject because I like how you focus more on moving forward and getting a new life. Like many I was in an abusive 5 1/2 year relationship with a Female Covert Narcissist, Cluster B...yes fun times ! Wasted enough time on her now I want to focus on me, so thanks for putting out these type of clips.

luv the line living yr life authentic n best self I m trying

Sterling piece of effort. What you are telling is so useful

The minefield is so relatable!

BEAUTIFUL and amazing

Yes YES, The minefield example makes it wonderfully clear to me. 😍

Could you do a video on how to do this while still having to live with the narc? How would we go about focusing on us while still being abused if we can not leave , so that we can get healthy enough to leave if we have to get healthy first before going because we can’t work and are being financially abused .

This is so incredibly helpful and healing, tysm. I love the analogy of the overgrown path. 🙏🏽🦋

So sick of living in my head instead of in my body...

@dharmadharma3960

3 жыл бұрын

💯 I try to walk where there's trees and grass as much as possible

Oh wow. I found this video while looking for a song to help me deal with something lol, but this was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much!

Brilliant video , thank you. Another thing that was a great help to me was to study polyvagal theory.

My take is that feeling safe is the main ingredient of a no contact recipe. All can recall the health deprivation during a stint in narc subjugation. It would be no different after being in a car accident & requiring safe driving as the pilot or passenger. Many of life experiences are logically rooted and is totally understandable. No need to doubt it from questioning it being a reasonable concern. The fear based decision dissipates and becomes logic.

Great video.. great advice. But..a warning about those candles behind you in that shelf. DON'T DO THAT! A friend of mine lost her house to a fire doing that. The candle caused the shelf above it to get hot enough to catch fire.

@FromSurvivingToThriving

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for caring =D the good thing is they aren't real!! I totally get how dangerous that would be!

Really I concentrate on myself and not others and others should have own interests we are all unique.( like food tastes, how we spend money, interests etc, We all think different

I 💘 the color of your shirt. It's between pink and light purple.

I was only talking about this, today.

Michelle 😩 since I was a toddler

@chickenlittle4014

2 жыл бұрын

A little baby bean

Focus on your you today ! I've had to stop focusing and start in unfocusing ! A very pretty young girl are in danger of others focusing on any false move you make to make that move on you ! No matter what age from 8 to 88 years old ! As long as you escaped alive and only trauma affected you is like what happened to Dorothy on the yellow brick road vs the wicked witch of the West !!!😀

My Momma tells me this, but I have a hard time with it.

Just pamper yourself... Manicures💅(specially if they told you your hands are not pretty, wear bracelets and everything possible to show love and respect to what they wanted to damage... Or if they criticised your hair, love your hair... Groom it with a lovely, romantic color... And so on. To calm down, I also feel useful hot salt bath at home, or at the beach... And green juices (chlorella, spirulina powder, etc), or from supermarket(apple, celery, parsley, etc)... These juices remove the heavy toxines from your system, left from long time over excited brain throwing cortisol and adrenaline and creating damages to your organs... And go to safe places, move to a safe town or neighborhood where you feel great! And avoid new malignant people, even on youtube..

Ive developed a verbal thing. I clear my throat all the time. I hate it. I hate who I am today. I can't focus on anything. I want to leave so bad.

@meow-db3jb

Жыл бұрын

i hope things get easier for you soon. sending you love!

I feel like I cannot escape it anymore, I feel like I'm going crazy it is so so exhausting

@michaelgarrow3239

Ай бұрын

God bless you.

you so beautiful smart and kind😌

No comment baby 📡

Pay no attention to the elephant in the room, even if he's wearing a pink tutu and singing Tiptoe Through the Tulips. Hey, might help when they are lying, smearing, and raging to imagine them this way, so you can laugh at the toddler throwing his/her fit in the floor.

@FromSurvivingToThriving

3 жыл бұрын

Love this lol!!!

@bmoremom8458

3 жыл бұрын

Awesome 😎 hack! I’ve been laughing at their ridiculous behaviors (ie, virtue signaling) and not tolerating the destructive behaviors.

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

👌😁

When my children are with their Narcissistic Father, I have difficulty staying focused on myself. How do I do this?

😊

Hi Michelle, is the upcoming workshop online? I can't seem to locate the link in the site

Maybe next week. 😆🙄🤦🏻‍♂️

Isnt the narcissist someone whos been emotionally abused? So how can they focus on themselves so easily ?

Its call co- dependency...

I came here searching why I can't focus around other people at all. Any advice? ...

Hi Michele, how do I get in contact with you as your contact page on your website isn’t working. Wanted to enquire about the workshop I paid for for May, I haven’t received any updates regarding workshop time and have been searching my emails but can’t find the confirmation email. Thank you!