hearing Dr K talk about this guy who can’t do anything without listening to music/videos/podcasts while i’m sat at work listening to this video because i can’t sit and just do stuff without some kind of stimuli in my brain from external sources

@C_cotobuki

2 жыл бұрын

oh

@saturationstation1446

2 жыл бұрын

sounds like you arent working and are making up excuses in your head for why you dont work most of the day lol

@user-lr2jy1pq8b

2 жыл бұрын

@@saturationstation1446 nah i work hard, i just like having stuff on in the background - i don’t get distracted by it but it helps me concentrate on what i’m doing. Definitely not a lazy worker.

@ElectricAlien577

2 жыл бұрын

@@saturationstation1446 Sounds like you've never had a mindless labor job, where you have nothing to focus on all day.

@3973555

2 жыл бұрын

@@saturationstation1446 I think you missed the point my guy, he's still working but just needs some background stimulis like music or a podcast in the background

"The best way to ruin your life is to try and craft a life with no negative emotion"

Reminds of the good old dynamic of "let's try to do everything perfectly at once and if I fail one tiny thing everything's completely fucked and I won't even try anymore". We need to pick our battles, and with an honest and realistic perspective. Accept a couple Ls to get a couple Ws is such a good way to see it.

@ramireini

2 жыл бұрын

L's are W's but we don't realize it.

@tsurutom

2 жыл бұрын

@@ramireini They can be, if we realize it.

@bobobsen

2 жыл бұрын

@@ramireini we ratio'd ourselves

@TheHadMatters

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, pick your battles. But even if you didn't pick your battles, understand that this loss doesn't undo the previous wins. There's no reason to start counting from zero, purely because you broke your continuous streak. Just maintaining the complete view of all your past successes, no matter how many failures happen in-between, will make it so much easier to keep a truthful and positive perspective of your progress, which makes it easier to just keep going, rather than give up in face of failure. Because you know the progress still keeps accruing - you know it's worth it.

@saturationstation1446

2 жыл бұрын

@@ramireini except when the L is dramatically increasing your chances of dying early

This was my post, and I’m so glad Dr. K. was able to talk about it and bring in a lot of new perspectives I hadn’t thought of! It was also really cool to see a lot of people relating in some kind of way:)

@dyllle6735

2 жыл бұрын

I just wanted to add that having been through therapy recently, it has helped me a lot with realising that it is okay to sit with your thoughts. Some will be scary but that’s okay, it’s just having a set time to think about and try to break down any worries. Especially if they are “hypothetical” such as myself worrying a lot about the long term future. But being able to have dedicated time and not let them control my whole day, so I do need to be on my phone/computer etc, has been so helpful :)

@waylengaming8712

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing :)

@P4brotagonist

2 жыл бұрын

As someone who once dealt a lot with what you are dealing with, eventually you have to learn to just sit with the feelings that you can't control the future, including the awful things. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with, and sometimes I still struggle with it, but as long as you keep working on it, it gets better!

@camronchlarson3767

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks OP

@futavadumnezo

2 жыл бұрын

I'm the same. Diagnose with heavy depression, and anxiety and used to have panic attacks quite often from the simplest things. Good advice that I got and helped me in what felt like a helpless situation are from Dr. K but more from Dr. Berg. You can find him on KZread he's a nutritional doctor. I tried the antidepressants and anxiety pills but the side effects are horrible and I stop taking them after a month, what I did is take supplements and that worked, wonders! Our nutrition is probably the most important factor if you don't suffer from chronic or hereditary depression or other illnesses. Exercise and a positive mentality also help but not to the degree of what and how we eat and how we sleep. Most people are Vitamin D and B deficient and probably dehydrated. I've searched for a very long time and finally found the perfect natural supplement for me that helped with depression and anxiety more than anything, it's a combination of choline and algae and mushrooms. The boost of energy and self-confidence and just overall feel-good sensation it gives me the entire day is unbelievable, almost like drugs but with no side effects. You have to find what works for you. And the best advice I ever got is from my big brother who says: no matter what you do and try it will never work 100% until you accomplish something until you put effort into your life and find meaning, find and do something that drives you.

It's been a few years since I've kicked gaming addiction for a more general internet addiction. I wish everyone dealing with that sort of thing luck.

@TJt871

2 жыл бұрын

the creator hamza has really helped me understand the importance of dopamine detox and using less technology. Look up the video be like adonis. I feel like we should all strive to be more like adonis. This will help boost self-esteem and recalibrate motivation.

@dddripz

2 жыл бұрын

@@TJt871 OO OO AA AA!

@dreamer5687

2 жыл бұрын

@@TJt871 Big Brain Time KEKW

@bestisterra7909

2 жыл бұрын

its been a year for me now and honestly I really wonna go back to gaming but i physically cant no matter how hard I try

@t.rebentisch2777

2 жыл бұрын

@@TJt871 Great now you are like adonis! (a member of the weird redpill, incel, manosphere online community)

Receiving the notification on my phone and immediately clicking on it probably proves the point of this video...

@sniffer94

2 жыл бұрын

Same xD

@gamerdweebentertainment1616

2 жыл бұрын

reasons I mute everything on phone and on PC, so I wouldn't react like a pet, Content?!?!?

@DuendeHr

2 жыл бұрын

I blocked all notifications accept calls and alarms. Few years already, works great.

@latteARCH

2 жыл бұрын

@@DuendeHr yup, that has been my experience. gave me more control over how I interact with the device.

@jacobhoying3373

Жыл бұрын

@@sniffer94 6:03 😊😊

Such a good way to put it. Avoidance of negative emotion = loss of control in life. So simple and so apt.

I went to Japan at his age when I was depressed. Turns out that shit follows you. Not saying I regret going but would have enjoyed it more if I faced my issues at home.

@themagnificentorange672

Жыл бұрын

how was it?

@Malusifer

Жыл бұрын

@@themagnificentorange672 Tokyo was overwhelming. Bit of a culture shock. Kyoto was more what I was looking for.

@themagnificentorange672

Жыл бұрын

@@Malusifer Oo good to know, thx bro

@StarlitGlitch

Жыл бұрын

I’ve lived in japan for a number of years now and there is definitely the stereotype of the person who comes here thinking japan will solve their problems and then it doesn’t. In any case, I’m glad to hear you enjoyed Kyoto! I’m in the Tokyo area now but hope to be able to live more in the suburbs eventually

@thewildhealer541

Жыл бұрын

​​@@StarlitGlitchell, that's just an attempt at fleeing from reality. Though if you prepare a lot, learn the language and read about proper etiquette in said country then it would be different. And you get natural dopamine for learning new stuff. Japan is not that great of a country after all. They work day and night, sometimes all day every day. Their work culture is way too demanding for a lot of people. Reality will follow you everywhere and people don't realize they need to work on the root of the problem. Sometimes anxiety comes out of nowhere and you just need to learn to cope. If you feel like anxiety always switch focus then that's a problem. I can relate. So the best way is to meditate honestly. People think it's bs but it helps me so much with sleep and daily anxiety. Physical activity will help a lot too. Not like it's not good putting yourself out there, moving to another country will keep you pretty occupied with trying to fit in. Which is great, it's not a bad thing. But coming totally unprepared and expecting it to be like anime may be a little too optimistic.

30:00 (or so) Dr. K: "I need an adult!!" Dan: "You *are* an adult." Dr. K: "Oh. Right." That's such a genuinely helpful story. I'm loving this talk.

@SnailHatan

Жыл бұрын

It’s also a Dragon Ball Z Abridged reference lmao

"The moment you let the anticipation of the negative emotion restrict what you put yourself in, that's when you lose control of your life." Dr. K 🔥🔥

@liegon

Жыл бұрын

I'm going to print that out and put it on my wall.

I think that I also have a hard time doing anything (cleaning, cooking, showering, making my bed, etc.) without having youtube playing. When I shut it off, I feel a little antsy and alone... probably because I don't want to be with my own thoughts. To be fair, I don't have much of a social support system especially with my back injury. Physically, I feel blocked from doing things the way I used to so then mentally, it's two-fold. I'm trying to push myself ~gently~ to leave my apartment so I'm not living on youtube. Today, I made my plans around picking up my meds. I visited my previous job, picked up some ingredients for baking and my meds. Before leaving, I took a couple small paint bottles with me. As I got home, I noticed a broken piece of wood and decided to paint it in the parking lot. Although my music was on, I was paying more attention to painting. It felt good to do something other than what I usually do. I was worried I'd get hurt because I took my cane instead of my walker, but I'm proud of myself. :)

@ptlovelight2971

2 жыл бұрын

Good on you for pushing yourself gently 😊 And I'm exactly the same way with KZread and chores. But I'm neurodivergent/ADHD, so I use whatever I can to stay motivated and focused

@jan_Masewin

Жыл бұрын

a sweet lil snapshot, thank you for sharing!

@red_velvetcake1759

Жыл бұрын

I think part of the reason we lean on techbilogy so much is also loneliness -like people are now chronically lonely and we don't even see it as the problrn because we're so used to it

As a recovering addict myself, he is 100% spot on. This particular video is essential to accept in moving on. This is the stuff!! I've had Dr. K's influence for my entire recovery. The content of this community has been essential in weaving a new life & continuing to grow. There is hope, I'm living proof of what is possible once you trash your entire life!

@data4385

2 жыл бұрын

You got this!

@patobarajas7207

Жыл бұрын

Hi, could you share a little bit more about your journey please ?

Holy crap, I've been trying to articulate to people on the subreddit this exact idea about how in order to live a full life, you cannot avoid the shitty emotions, so instead you have to learn how to deal with and process them in hopefully healthy ways. Loved this video, will definitely reference this, as it's very applicable even outside the context of addictions.

@3mi3mi

2 жыл бұрын

yes. I was dumped by someone and it left me with a lot of emotional trauma that I am still processing a year later. I was talking to someone on the Discord and they sent me this, I’m beginning to realize that although this hurt me and I feel guilty about my role in that relationship, trying to reassure myself or find “closure” is just a way to try to negate those feelings, which although they are negative, it was part of an important lesson for me to learn and an opportunity to confront myself and my toxic traits.

Dr K, thanks for being the male role model we never had. I've just realized how much of Dr K's mannerisms (on top of the knowledge he preaches here) I've incorporated into my life. For real.

The method regarding the cravings was actually what kind of helped me during weight loss. I ignored the concept of strict dieting, thought of things as a gradual lifestyle change, and would give in to cravings completely at times. The hard part is being ok with yourself for it.

@richardmccabe2392

Жыл бұрын

Yes yes yes! I lost 8 kilos (18 pounds) in 7 months by going on a 500 calorie deficit. I give in to cravings sometimes. On days where I feel good I am able to make good decisions. I let life get in the way. At first it was hard because I just wanted to hurry up and lose weight but I started to fall in love with the process and here I am still "dieting" and gradually losing weight. It works wonders.

@realrelapse2476

Жыл бұрын

@@richardmccabe2392 There is a ton of science that proves that occasionally accepting your cravings makes you significantly less likely to binge and fall back into old eating habits which is significantly worse that just having a little bit of a cheat food on occasion. We put to much pressure on ourselves to be perfect so we end up thinking we can't even be good or great.

@richardmccabe2392

Жыл бұрын

@@realrelapse2476 totally! Literally giving myself permission to cheat has majorly helped me stay on track. I don't even call it "cheating" because that implies it's a bad thing. I just have a cookie or two every few days as a little treat. The pressure to diet perfectly was what was causing me to binge but now I have a much healthier relationship with food.

I have definitely realized recently that my phone addiction is the final result of not properly addressing negative emotions. I got addicted during lockdown. And I think it’s because I was forced to face all the negativity and pressure my family has put on me. Before that, mindlessly going to work and school gave me the illusion that things were alright. But now retreating to my phone has kind of taken that position. It’s like the “I’m fine” meme.

I have a hard time facing negative emotions also. I avoid seeking work cus I dont wanna feel rejected for not getting hired, or feeling not good enough while I am adjusting to a new work environment and learning the ropes. I dont wanna talk to my folks about it cus they want to see me doing better for myself, and I dont want to feel embarrassed / ashamed because I am not there yet / not taking steps in the ways me and them would like. I really appreciate this video. I dont really know if I fully comprehended that I would need to face some kinds of negative emotions on most of the paths forward I could go, but I think the way you phrased it helped it click for me. Its like in a video game, when you go through the door, there may be a bad guys you gotta beat, but there is also loot in that room, so its kinda worth it to fight the bad guys, even if its hard.

When I was about to take a trip to India and I was worrying about all the bad things that could happen, it made me reconsider whether I should really go. I then started viewing it as an adventure instead of a pleasure trip and that switch made all the potential hardship and stress a lot more acceptable almost desirable because what is an adventure without challenges to overcome.

Funny thing is - I realized this is true for overeating a while ago. In the past, when I felt the craving for an ice-cream, I'd try to do anything other than eat ice-cream - drink water, eat fruit, eat an actual meal, even drink a soda (which would usually be the last step as it contains not much less sugar than ice-cream). But nothing helped. I ended up eating the ice-cream on top of everything else and then hating myself. What I learned to do instead is give in and have the ice-cream (and ideally buying more smaller packages instead of one large one) if I feel like I need it. And instead of hating myself for it, meditate on why I felt like I needed it - I'm a stress eater, so figuring out what is the thing in the back of my mind that's stressing me out helped much more than hating myself for being "weak" while not listening to my body and my mind. Sometimes, I needed to drown my emotions in ice-cream. Sometimes, I'm just in the mood for something sweet. Either way, no need to be mean to myself over it. Ultimately, I not only lowered my intake of ice-cream, but ended up feeling less stressed and more healthy overall than when I spent so much energy on trying to deny myself the snack.

This was possibly the best video I've seen and the most helpful for my life. Acknowledging whether to indulge yourself or show restraint without giving in is so important because it conditions you to not give in to your desires after a little resistance. Using the analogy of allowing your child to use their device vs giving in after saying no a few times is so important and is applicable to adults as well

I honestly think this is why I continued talking to a talking ex because I realized fighting myself to not reach out was more disruptive than allowing myself to reach out on occasionally when I just wanted to send something small but not when I was was seeking reassurance. It was way better than fighting the habit

Kinda hard to not be addicted to my phone if literally everyone I know but one person are only available through my phone. Everyone just happens to be on other continents.

I love to listen to videos like this or podcasts to learn while doing stuff like driving, but I also like complete silence. There's been times where I just ignore any incoming messages for a few hours and kinda just take things in. Your common advice of taking a walk is solid. People need nature more

each one of these videos heals a part of me

I can completely relate. I’m so deep into the self help genre that I just have to Keep listening to podcast and videos. Fuck it’s the reason I’m watching this right now. I’m thinking I need to apply it somehow but I just have that urge to click on something new and feel inspired.

@vincemcmahonreadskoran3120

2 жыл бұрын

Even if you’re not applying it going down the self help rabbit hole is much better for your brain than most media.

@dusk5956

2 жыл бұрын

@@vincemcmahonreadskoran3120 thank you kindly

please I lllovee these pauses between the themes and thoughts 🙏🙏 in the new videos it's quite hard to follow through bc they cut out and it is so fast to process

Definitely addicted to my phone. I remember when I had no internet for a couple weeks, and I straight up went through my downloaded library of memes that entire time. Its like 2000. I also did a lot during that time, and have been working towards getting to that level of wanting to do stuff without completely removing my access to the internet.

@kylespevak6781

Жыл бұрын

It may be because I'm older, but why download memes? I send funny ones I see to my people, and that's it

The idea of "Stop avoiding your negative emotions, start getting familiar with them" hit me really hard for some reason. Embracing negative emotions isn't a new concept for this channel but the way he phrased it made me think of how we all deal with those negative emotions in a new light. It's kind of like they're your neighbors--if they're going to be there, why not introduce yourself and get along? Super powerful stuff.

@aeoligarlic4024

Жыл бұрын

It's very hard to do imo. Especially when you try avoiding it by scrolling around and then you see something upsetting. And it goes on and on

@kateginger

Жыл бұрын

People always say that suppressing your emotions is bad, but I didn't understand what that actually means and how to stop doings it for years. Dr K is really good at explaining it and honestly it's life changing. It's hard and I'm not always doing it much, but I'm feeling a lot better these past few years.

thank you to the person who posted this, that post is incredibly relatable to me

@dyllle6735

2 жыл бұрын

I’m glad it has been able to help:) seeing how many people relate to me from my post is really nice, we’re all gonna get through this

At 18:30 when he said "why do I have to listen to a stream right now?" "What would happen if I didn't do that?" I paused the video and just sat away for a few minutes, I come back to find that he predicted my every move from thoughts invading my mind to 'well, I should be productive' as I did some laundry right before coming back. Thank you for talking about this today Dr. K

This made me realize certain behaviors I've been practicing and hopefully it'll also help me handle it a bit better and steer my life in a different way, rife with negative emotions, but also with more control over the fear and my life overall.

It is still a bit unclear to me how to actually get out of the "anxiety spiral", where you give in, therefore reward the process of giving in, etc... But, based on the video, I suppose the best course of action is something like "aim low, but make sure you really hit it", so that you are fully in control of starting *and* stopping whatever uncomfortable thing you want to do?

@Arekusuu_

2 жыл бұрын

In my point of view, after having a few anxiety attacks, and having social anxiety previously to meet people, what helped me was: 1. Being conscious of the anxiety I was feeling in an specific moment. 2. Letting me experience the anxiety What it did for me, together with therapy was: The more I understood anxiety and how it worked in myself, the more aware I was when I was having anxiety, therefore, the more conscious and the more you understand it, the more you can tolerate it. And through tolerance it comes acceptance, and the more you accept it the less it affects you. Right now I still have anxiety over few things, however, being aware of that for the past year has helped me to live with it. And it has reached a moment that, even although I still have a bit, I can decide, I can act, and the more important it does not affect me as much as it used to be, let's say, anxiety has become a friend that follows me and give me bad suggestions which I dont listent to hhahaha. The same happened with depression btw. Good luck friend!!!

@AnotherVGMlover

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, the whole section of video from like 13:00 to 14:30 really exemplifies it IMO. You think of breaking anxiety behaviors and coping mechanisms as a gradual process where you still allow yourself to give into the coping mechanism while slowly weaning off of it. When you start out, you say something like “90% of the time I’ll keep doing it, but the other 10% I won’t give in” and you keep that ratio to something realistic that you can hit. As time goes on you keep increasing/decreasing the ratio, like going to 80/20%, 70/30%, 50/50%, as you get accustomed to the mental changes at every stage.

@MysticalSpaceSandwich

2 жыл бұрын

Acceptance can help you a lot. If you try accepting "ok if I do this, I will feel some level of anxiety and I accept whatever very unpleasant though not actually dangerous things come with it" it will get better over time (anxiety is very taxing on your body, but you can't die of it). If you do this and get yourself in situations you know you should do but are currently avoiding, it will get better. And for sure start very small. It will be hard at first, but over time, a few weeks maybe months, depending on how slow you take it, it'll actually feel like the alarm system of your body step by step disengages until at some point you'll not be thinking about your anxiety and at that point it'll get a lot better, really fast. For me mind over mood was very helpful. It's a book that gives very practical advice on how to use cbt to solve this kind of stuff and it works and makes things very clear.

31:36 "The moment we start letting [the anticipation of] our negative emotions, restrict [our experiences], that's when we lose control over our lives" Beautiful advice

I used to listen to music constantly whilst going shopping and certain things. What I found helped me is if I know I'm going to be in that scenario for a long time and it's busy I'll listen to music but I'll strategically choose times that aren't as busy and shop quicker with out it, and over time increased the time and business until I no longer needed it.

@NeanderthalDogma

2 жыл бұрын

I do that cuz it makss it goby faster lol

This has quickly become one of if not my favorite channels and content in general.

"You can try to spend more energy and lose 6 battles, or you can give up those 5 battle and win 1"

This has been a great one. Really resonating and the sort of lesson that really clicked with me. I struggle with the issue of having poor sleep and needing some sort of distraction until I literally pass out. This video has been a valuable one, thank you yet again for your work!

This podcast is the worst promotion for his channel but i appreciate and needed it so much. ty

I too am a 'self-help junkie' for continuous distraction. Thanks for this one! 💚

The worst thing is that I understand that I have an unhealthy addiction to my phone and don't want to do anything about it, because there's nothing else going on.

@kylespevak6781

Жыл бұрын

There's a ton of hobbies out there besides social media. If you're using your phone for hobbies, then that's fine. Regulation is also important

@learningnew732

Жыл бұрын

Buy a anti blue light lens or tempered glass for mobile or pc or tv so atleast you can sleep properly and don't go dumb because lack of Sleep can make you loose your precious memories

Speaking of obsessions with micro-celebrities, like streamers and what not, could you make a video on parasocial relations? I would love to hear your insights on that.

Thanks for this Dr. K this hits home majorly for me right now. I feel like I have some really good approaches to try out. Sitting with the feelings is hard but avoiding them gradually makes my world smaller and smaller.

I'll say the last few videos you have uploaded lately dr k have hit a little close to where I'm at in life and want to improve on. Your videos have helped me figure out a lot of what I want and need to do for self Improvement. All I can say is thank you for the great help and advice.

Reject copium. Inject hopium.

@elenal1906

2 жыл бұрын

Hopium can often be copium in disguise

Anticipation of negative emotions restricting what I put myself in. This right here is what I've been finally trying to figure out. Feels like pressure just released in the back of my mind.

"this is not staying strong my friend, this is breeding weakness" that's not a mean thing to say Dr K, that's the truth. I wish I had realized this years ago, but it took me all this time to come to this realization by myself. I'm strong all by myself, it's those avoidance tactics that were literally eroding my strength and ability to face the world until I suddenly noticed years later and couldn't believe what I've become. Sometimes it's better for the harsh truth to come to light, than to waste our limited lives setting in the dark being too afraid of the monsters under the bed. Funny enough now that I have faced this, I'm happier now than I've been, and feel much stronger mentally and emotionally, than I was back when I was stronger a long time ago, so in a way I'm glad this happened, it was a valuable lesson for me to learn.

I feel personally stalked by dr K. The last 10-20 posts have been on point with my situation. An hour ago I literally wrote in my journal that I need to start controlling my doomscrolling before bed, that I'll continue my gaming hiatus, and that I can indulge on the porn as a compensation until I'm ready for another change. And this repeated over the course of the last weeks when I saw an issue In my life and Dr K comes with a lesson that just hits the current issue I'm facing for a homerun. tldr: I feel followed

thank you so much dr. k. you’re helping me change my life around. inspired

Dr K real talk here, cannot put my phone down, to the point where I panic if I cannot watch KZread or listen to music on my phone. Things I could do in different ways, but am unable to give up my phone.

@codeinetcetera

2 жыл бұрын

start with a psychiatrist or psych nurse. starting on prescribed meds is what got me out of the state you describe. doesn't fix everything, but gives you pool floaties so you can start kicking by yourself.

@scoutbane1651

2 жыл бұрын

@@codeinetcetera What if your country's psych system is so crap you can't really get the help you need though? I have therapy once per 3 months and they don't even want to send me to do a thorough psychological analysis and dx me with anything but mixed depressive-anxious disorder, even though I was in a psych ward for 2 months and they told me it's likely ADHD and or Autism they just couldn't do diagnosis there. I'm struggling so much but I literally can't get the professional help I need. I genuinely think from everything I've heard ADHD meds would probably help me immensely with my executive dysfunction but they literally won't be accessible to me for many years now, until I move somewhere else (thinking about Canada or NZ).

So many of Dr K's videos really... I can't find the right phrase... blow my mind? He puts in words what I feel and maybe even figured out on some level, but could never explain. And so when he does it, it all makes sense.

Thanks for the video!

dude this explains all the negative habits I've babied with food. I feel like i have an upper hand to being free & in control now.

I have PTSD from a medical misdiagnosis and I feel like I just bury myself to the internet in order to ignore what happened to me.

This was the most relevant episode yet. Thank you

21:40 "Do you out source pooping too ??" 😆 Isn't that why they call it the 'outhouse' . Loved this video btw! There a lot of helpful information jampacked, some of which I've been thinking about already and some that I've seem to have forgotten about how to steer my behaviour in order to make progress with addiction.

In October I'll be a year clean from coke. I don't have intense cravings anymore, I've gotten to the point of, noticing the feelings of wanting to do coke, and sitting in those feelings, and noticing what got me to feel the urge to do coke. I work through it. And decide that it's not what I NEED to get through those emotions. I'm a little over a month off of weed, and I experience the same feelings. I used to think I would never be able to quit. But slowly over time I was able to get away from the intense cravings and sit with the emotions that brought me to smoke. I'm feeling way better in terms of emotions, feelings,anger, and getting to know myself outside of weed, and drugs. Thanks for reaffirming that what I've been doing is the healthy and right solution.

Wow. I seriously feel like I could have written that whole post myself. It's rare for me to hear about someone who struggles with these exact things, though I'm sure many do

31:52 yep that's me 100% 🙃 45:30 is also what happened whenever I tried therapy, but it actually frustrated me because I WANT to do deeper work but it seems like the therapists never want to do anything but sit there and chat about my day

His story about his first day as a doctor is such a trip

I started a new career a few years ago, nothing similar to what I'd ever done before. Holy shit. It was like the opening to The Temple of Doom, starting where they realize there's no gas in the plane. Right now I feel like I'm drifting toward the village, but those Cat 5 rapids... And I would've quit, but every time I got to the job and actually started working I LOVED IT. I'd never loved a job before. It's helped me overcome so many issues I've had, just because I won't let anything stand between me and this job. It took me years of trying different things and different therapies, too. Never give up, and never tell yourself it's "too late".

I WAS JUST LOOKING THIS UP YESTERDAY! I remembered that copium meme and was generally thinking of how I am coping with life so I can help my friends and close ones 😂

I can't believe it. There are so many things you mentioned that I have noticed years ago, but chose not to act on the knowledge. This video is a much needed wake up call.

I LOVE YOU DR K and everyone who keeps coming here cause life is a fucking struggle ❤

@37:00 I see what you're saying, but I disagree that something is intrinsically beneficial just because we evolved with it. Such as the appendix, poor eye sight, etc.

listening to dr K makes me feel calm, very cool

Thank you Dr. K!

Your voice is so relaxing my headphones automatically turned off in 30 minutes thinking nothing was playing

Sometimes it's appropriate to avoid things because there will be/could be a bad outcome. Keep yourself safe.

like Suzuki-roshi says in Zen Mind Beginner's Mind -- the best way to control your sheep is to give them a large field, and watch them. Ignoring them is the worst policy, the next worst is to try to control them (the losing battle you mention that just means they get stronger.) Just observe. And I think this is meant for desires(addictions, cravings) too. If you can observe your craving, you are not identified with it. Even when you decide it's time to "give them a large field" and indulge it, you can't BE what you can indulge.

I love Dans teaching method. I could see it being terrifying in that situation but great method

Dr k you called me out this entire video, thank you so much i didnt realize ive been trying to escape any negative emotion

it hit me right inside, thanks

Why do I relate to every video you put out 🤨

The cravings bit sounds super useful to me

I legit was searching about this topic and then they upload this... wild!

23:12 Hahaha this is my playstyle as a support. I feel called out XD

Dr. K should also made a video on how comes up with a new video on my ongoing problems. I daydreamed whole day and Dr. K made a video on it. I found myself not implementing content. He made on that. I'm cheating on my work and actually instead of studying the topics I'm watching podcast and dangerous articles on it. I was like well.. Let's check out Dr. K and what to say now. The thumbnail had me shook

15:56 19:10 24:09 32:34 35:45 37:00 so once you stop avoiding situations that have negative emotion you'll start to like really be in control of your life

The minor stuff when you're doing badly becomes the major stuff when you're doing well.

21:15 "*KNOWLEDGE*"

Thanks for making videos

Feeling reeeeeally called out by this one 😵‍💫

Im not addicted to the devises im addicted to the world thay open up for me.

@WanderTheNomad

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds like being addicted to your devices, but with extra steps

@TheTilitus

2 жыл бұрын

@@WanderTheNomad Depends on if im dependent on being in this world it gives me. Yes, yes i am. But im ok with my addiction.

I generally use technology to get thoughts to process, and then I live almost every waking minute thinking deeply about the Bible and how it relates to what I see and what I'm currently working on; to the point I often stop what I'm doing for significant amounts of minutes a time because I sink into my mind deeper than the Mariana's Trench. This causes me to take ages to read books because even a single page (at least in good books) can make me spiral into at least 20 minutes of introspection. Does this count as "coping"? I'm not trying to suppress any thought or emotion (other than boredom, maybe?), but this does make me live most of my life "in my own world"...

@almatsailaukhan9181

2 жыл бұрын

get a load of this guy

@VioletEmerald

2 жыл бұрын

WTF

@ptlovelight2971

2 жыл бұрын

Omg I thought only I did that! Yes, especially self help books or books on social issues, politics, it takes me forever to read because I'm mulling over something poignant that the author said

25:50 You are literally talking to me here. I want to go to Japan at least once in my life, but I am overcome with anxiety at the thought of travelling. I spent my entire teenage years letting my social anxitey control me, and not ever going to parties, or making close connections with anyone, no having relationships because it was too uncomfortable for me. Even now, I struggle facing up to things that probably wouldn't even phase most people.

@cry9438

Жыл бұрын

For me I don't fear going to Japan alone, what I fear is going to any other country that don't speak English more. It's because I love Japan and its people, I'm in a Japanese Language learning agency now hoping to get hired and work in Japan. I'm an introvert with social anxiety like you who don't need friends to survive. What I find exciting going to another country is the feeling of starting over your life again. I want to learn their language by forcing myself communicating with them. I never went to a club in my hometown but I'm willing to go to all party in Japan. I never tried to make friends with a stranger in my country but I I'm excited to be the first to engage a Japanese person. I'm probably fantasizing but I really hope my spirit stays the same when the day comes and reality hits.

It's amazing how long Dr K can keep talking.

Lol I love how he was so serious on like supports buying support items and team comp LMAO I so felt that in general with people in games not playing for team

You see, i am not really opposite to live through negative emotions, but i do get obsessed with them. I have a lot of obsessive thoughts, and i get just more and more mentally upset until i'm totally exhausted. I think about other people a lot, it irritates me, but i don't know how to make it stop. I have OCD, but these days it's been really just automatic like it is a habit of sorts. I am waiting for my CBT, but rn i feel quite not at peace without some sorts of copium. When i'm in village helping my dear grandmother and visiting auntie's children i feel good, i feel like i'm doing good stuff and i get distracted from my head. But when i'm in the city i feel like total crap almost immidieatly. I live here alone and my mother visits me for dinner and shit-talking about her work. I love her, but only bc she is my mother. As a person she annoys me a lot. So yeah. I just think a lot about things which happened like years ago. It irritates me so fucking much. I almost don't think about myself, i'm just thinking again and again about crap happened years ago when i was a teenager. It is so exhausting, i wish i could just stop rethinking it again and again. It won't give some new info, i just stuck with my analysis. I feel guilty, i feel shame, i feel regret, i feel angry, i feel a lot of negative emotions, but it doesn't matter how much time passes. I am stuck. I had only one time when i stopped thinking about one person. It happened bc they fcked up and i got really really angry at them. Then i let go of them. I hope my psychotherapy will make things more clear. I am so tired.

@AJeetThakur-wj9ky

3 ай бұрын

OMG, I could relate to your story in so many different ways especially overthinking about the past

@user-ku8gr5cw4g

3 ай бұрын

@@AJeetThakur-wj9ky glad I am not alone! Btw I got diagnosed with autism, maybe it will give you something to think about. You can make it through.

@AJeetThakur-wj9ky

3 ай бұрын

@@user-ku8gr5cw4g oh, I'm sorry to hear that. But I never once considered such possibility. If you are comfortable sharing, is be interested to learn about your experience with autism.

For a podcast or audiobook to be a productive use of your time, you have to actively engage with the content. Ideally, you pause on occasion to reformulate (i.e., practice recall), then you maybe tie it to other ideas you already know and then you can hit play again to move on to the next section. This is actually demanding and you can't do hours on end of it properly, especially not after being awake for 16 hours. 😂

Dr Anna Lembke talks about dopamine and the effects our phones have on us. I think the 30 fast is a good way to start Edit: Spelling

I find it hard to believe that negative emotion is temporary when I remember my childhood as a long period of constant fear.

13:43 oh my god thank you, my psych teacher didn't explain what I should do then only said don't encourage tantrums.

Thank you for uploading this video, Dr. K. I've been taking a lot of notes and having many new perspectives of what I am doing with my life. I would like to leave a highlight that did the "clic" for me 35:02 > okay I'm using this technology to suppress my numbness it may be actually deeper than that right now I'm not as successful as i want to be and every time i listen to a podcast there's a part of my mind that believes that I'm moving in the right direction and **it's really important for me at this point in my life to feel like I'm moving in the right direction still** - What am I actually going to do to fix that need?

This is a really great video and it definitely opened me up on how I usually deal with my relationship with technology. However, Is it okay to ask what does "Stop avoiding negative emotions" mean? Does it mean I shouldn’t try and avoid constantly experiencing things that give me negative emotions? Like if i’m stuck in a crappy job that makes me stressed constantly, should I not quit because that would be "Avoiding the negative emotions"?

Glad i cant relate to some of these vids, shows that im not completely lost

@wuboAF

2 жыл бұрын

Even if you can relate, it doesn't mean you'll be lost forever 🙂

@bobobsen

2 жыл бұрын

Strong copium

@DJKidd301

2 жыл бұрын

@@bobobsen how?

@wildeskompositum9556

2 жыл бұрын

@@wuboAF never said that but it feels nice to not have these issues

I'm scared of having a significant other Because I'm scared of things like Making a fool of myself when I share my opinions and theories and stuff And I'm scared of disappointing my partner, my teammate by not properly internalizing their criticism and suggestions that they give from the kindness of their heart And I'm scared of having someone who'll never give up on me. Because that's just so much responsibility, like, having a social contract with someone that you'll strive to be your best self because they care about you and you care about them And I occasionally have thoughts like "Maybe someone could convince me to do this thing I need to do, or maybe one of my friends can help me with a project I'm working on" Hell, I have had friends help me with projects when honestly I shoulda just did them by self. Why? It's a vehicle to shift responsibility. Why did the card game I'm working on fail? Because we gave up, not because I gave up.

0:00 my boss after firing half of our staff

45:32 therapy for offloading emotional distress without doing the actual work (I relate therapy to journaling)

I get what Dr Dan was doing, but just imagine being the dude with a seizure being turned into a teachable moment lmao

20:05 that's me right now while listening dr. k