Confident Conversations: How To Talk To Anyone
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SocialConfidenceCenter.com Confident Conversations: How To Talk To Anyone
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Do you talk to strangers?
Have you seen people who are totally comfortable walking up to someone they don't know and chatting with them?
Ever wonder how they do that?
Below I'll share one powerful communication secret that you can start using immediately to build your ability to talk to anyone, even if you've never met them before.
Better yet, if you're like me and you HATE having boring small talk conversations and you'd rather be talking about something real and interesting, then keep reading. This technique can help change the conversation from "small talk hell", to something exciting and connecting.
The Set-Up
Before you can have a great conversation with a stranger, there is one thing you MUST do first...
Talk to them!
The biggest obstacle to having a good interaction with someone is a failure to initiate the conversation.
It might seem obvious, but a lot is conveyed in our greetings. Here are two tips for starting the conversation off right:
1. Be Warm
Often when we are shy and doubting ourselves, we hold back, afraid to show too much emotion. We decide to "play it cool."
Unfortunately, playing it cool, can often come across as disinterested. Most people (no matter how confident they might seem) are unsure if others will like them. If they get no positive signals from you, they might easily conclude you are disinterested or aloof and not engage with you.
Rather than playing it cool, allow yourself to be warm and enthusiastic. Act as if they were a close friend or family member. If you engage others in a familiar, comfortable way, they will pick up on this and often respond in kind.
2. Be Casual
Another common way of greeting someone when we are nervous or shy is to be overly formal. This has a "how do you do, madam?" feel to it that is unusual and not how you typically act. It's as if you are on your "best behavior" so as to not offend the other person.
Remember, when you start a conversation with a stranger, you are NOT doing anything wrong!
See if you can greet them in a casual manner, as if they were a close friend. When I speak with my close friends, we often use the word "man" (because we're cool like that). I might say something like, "how's it going, man?" I've used this kind of language with people twice my age and gotten very positive responses. The more you use your natural, familiar language, the better.
Awkward City
Ok, so you've greeted the other person... Now what?
Have you ever been thrust into an interaction where you exchanged names with someone, and then stood their looking at each other?
As you stare wide eyed at this stranger, your mind kicks into high gear: Oh God, I should say something. Um, uh. I have not idea what to say. Why isn't he saying anything? This is so awkward. I gotta get out of here!
We've all been there, and it's not pretty. So how do we avoid that?
You need, The Bridge.
The Bridge
All conversations consist of only two things: questions and statements.
That's it. It might seem much more complex than this, but in it's most basic form, everything that comes out of your mouth (or theirs) is going to be a statement or a question.
So right after the introduction, you only have two options. If you initiated with the stranger, then the ball is in your court to start.
If you initiated the conversation, it is your responsibility to "drive" the conversation. You must be the one to ask questions or make statements until the other person starts responding.
How do you do this if you don't know the person?
If it were a close friend, you'd know what to say because you are aware of what's going on in their lives. Even if you asked a vague question like, "what's up?" your friend might still respond with something personal about their lives. That's because they know you. The stranger doesn't. That's where you need The Bridge.
The Bridge is a way of connecting with someone by making a question or statement about a shared experience (like the environment you're both in).
To read more, go here: www.socialconfidencecenter.com...
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Пікірлер: 149
What works for me is first say hello.If they give eye contact and verbally return the greeting,start talking about a common theme:the weather.Then,compliment how they look,afterwards,talk about what you're doing.Then,introduce yourself.Remember,if that person doesn't give an immediate eye contact,they're most likely not interested.Fear of rejection is why most people are reluctant to meet and greet.
@GetMoreConfidence
9 жыл бұрын
F. Powell Great tips!
@ariespow
9 жыл бұрын
Trial and error.
The bridge! Such an obvious yet bewilderingly difficult idea to summon to your head during that moment before you desire a comfortable interaction. Thank you so much man!
"Communicate with friends" presupposes that I have friends.
@GetMoreConfidence
5 жыл бұрын
You may first need to start with some foundational work and get to the full and rich life you deserve my friend!
This was so helpful in many ways. I enjoyed how relaxed you were and your facial expressions. I have learned what my major problem was. My tone. THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤❤❤
His book changed my life! I feel incredible! And grateful
Great video I like all your stuff you are a great communicator , I am going to study all your material and will purchase stuff as well because you deserve to be rewarded for your material , brilliant stuff.
NOt everything was helpful to my situation, but there was a good amount in here that was really beneficial to me. Thanks for the Upload
Thanks for sharing this great video. I always felt that I was the only person who feels awkward among social gathering. Hv a great day.
Aziz you're a such a genuine and beautiful man. Even your face and hair line creates a heart shaped. Happy to see and hear how much you've transformed and I feel like I've come along way but I can still feel my old stories play in the back of my mind. I have to constantly remind myself that these stories or moments in time don't define me. Anyways thank you for sharing your videos and making the world a better and more authentic place. P.S. you're wife is lucky 😉
@GetMoreConfidence
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! If you keep working on things like you have so far those old stories will get weaker and weaker. They'll still pop up from time to time but you'll be strong enough to see them and ignore them.
Thank you Dr Aziz.Stay blessed
At least he is trying to Help, Dr Aziz is likeable Character and Gd luck to him.
I share your video to my friends who working in Singapore. Its helpful to them. For me, I love to talk anyone.
all this is so true! thanks man x) it was a big help
Thank you this was very helpful!
It's so useful for me.Thank you for this video!!!! :D
I'm so happy I found you !
I love the video. Go with the moment. Be Natural.
Thank you man! very useful!
Thank You Dr. Aziz!
I dont know why but i smiled at "the bridge"
This video is great, the best advice I got from this is that I need to be more engaged in my environment. The more I'm engaged the more I can talk about. I'm definitely going to subscribe and check out more of your videos.
@GetMoreConfidence
10 жыл бұрын
Thanks! Yes, the more you pay attention to what is happening outside of you, the more present you are and the more conversation material you have.
Really useful please keep it up!
nice info.. thanks
The awesome thing about this video is realizing I’ve already been doing everything he suggested to do in this video! Ever since I read his social anxiety book. The practice really does make you feel more comfortable in social environments, with yourself, and especially around attractive women. The key is to take is slow. Be patient with yourself as you practice. And above all: don’t be hard on yourself. Practice self-compassion where you’re praising yourself for your progress every day instead of beating yourself up for not being as bold as you want to be. It doesn’t matter how you reacted or felt. What matters is what you did. Did you take action? Any sort of action at all? Any action no matter how small should be seen as progress and should be praised for it. Give yourself credit for taking steps and praise yourself as often as you use to criticize yourself. I’ve been doing this all lately and I’ve already been seeing tremendously positive results. It really does work and makes life more fun and exciting.
@GetMoreConfidence
4 жыл бұрын
PREACH! :)
@alexortega714
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for comment bro , that assures me that I'm doing things right , I'm just starting to talk to women at public places and when things go wrong , I just tell my self "Hey I accomplished my mission just for the fact that I made contact with a total stranger and I opened my mouth!
@adamlynchleferia
4 жыл бұрын
Alex Ortega That’s the key man! Focusing on what you’re doing right and rewarding yourself instead of beating yourself down. Pretend you’re talking to your best friend. Would you uplift every attempt your best friend made or would you tear him down? After tearing him down, did he feel better about himself and what to do it again? Probably not. YOU are your own best friend. Read Aziz’s new book by the way, called “On My Own Side”. It’s phenomenal. But yeah, become your greatest cheerleader man. It may feel cheesy. It may feel arrogant. ignore that. Do it anyway. Talk to yourself out loud all the time. I promise you will see everything completely differently and people won’t recognize you. I can personally testify that therapy like this has completely shifted my entire world. I went from barely able to talk to women to talking to strangers (good-looking women), dating, and no longer afraid of intimacy (but get excited instead). Even today, I’m getting better by the day! I can’t wait to see how bold and confident I’ll be next year! Have this kind of attitude man and I promise you’ll change too! ❤️🤟🏽
Great advice thank you. BTW you kind of look like Ray William Johnson.
excellent advice
Sweet...
Awesome
(Im a girl. What if I don't want to talk to, or flirt with, a beautiful woman?) I assume this is directed at women too. Your advice is very good and useful. Although I would NOT know how to talk to a good looking guy. I make myself look like an idiot like tripping over or walking into things and therein the scene is set. I think I may be a hopeless case!
@GetMoreConfidence
9 жыл бұрын
Ha, hey there Amelia. I've haven't met a hopeless case yet. Just people who are discouraged and THINK they can't change. It sounds like you are pretty hard on yourself and you anticipate you'll mess it up with a good looking guy. I encourage you to challenge these stories, really test them out - several times a week if you can. Every time you see an attractive guy, smile at him, as see what happens : )
@Suntro
9 жыл бұрын
For women there's much less pressure in social interactions. Watch his "Stop being so nice" video if you haven't already.
definitely great advise, but other than focusing on dating would you consider make some videos about interviews/career instead thanks
What if it's someone you used to talk to in middle school but you haven't over the past 3 years because of high school and she is in your lunch period only?
Good vid.
Hi. This video was really helpful. One issue which I couldn't get any help from anyone is having panic in between a conversation. Sometimes I start to panic while am talking to someone (sometimes someone who is really close to me like a friend or a family member). I cannot maintain eye contact, my cheek muscles start to tighten, in short I feel like I am about to cry. Is there anyone out there who are facing this issue or who can help. Please
Okay so I have been deligently watching your videos and know that they are Gems. Recently when I started been more vocal and share my thoughts at work - my two colleagues started to talk me out and say that it was not necessary to share that stuff etc ... although it was nothing wrong!!! But I humbly accepted instead of presenting my view point. How to respond here when ppl see Ur growing and try to talk you out later?
@GetMoreConfidence
4 жыл бұрын
Don't accept that premise. If you have something valuable to contribute, it may not be "necessary" in someone else's opinion, and that's all it is...an opinion, or potentially even jealousy. Keep forging ahead my friend!
@explorations341
4 жыл бұрын
@@GetMoreConfidence Thank you for these supportive words! I feel sometimes i get affected cos I myself do not fully believe in myself.
4:43 LoL killer question
You should have a show on TLC, Dr Aziz (just saying) Love the content
@GetMoreConfidence
5 жыл бұрын
I agree! Do you know somebody? :)
@ravibalkissoon8851
5 жыл бұрын
Get More Confidence Sadly I do not have that just yet Dr. Aziz but when I attain that position in television...You're my first call.
@GetMoreConfidence
5 жыл бұрын
You know where to find me! If you live in the Portland, Oregon area you can often see me on local television here. You can see clips on my main website.
Aziz means saint. * flies away
I shake every time I talk to anyone my hands are uncontrollable I feel weak and some times fall on my knees Lol watching a video on how to talk XD
@daimmehmood4079
8 жыл бұрын
same....
@sweetestgirl3380
6 жыл бұрын
Are you in whatsapp?
Thanks
@GetMoreConfidence
3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
Plz make more videos on this topic...i have problem to be over greeting ppl and when leaving room over saying bye ...plz helo i want to be more firm
@GetMoreConfidence
6 жыл бұрын
I certainly will!
Do you take appointments?
you're awesome! I like your approach explanation You are amazing! I like your explanation approach Examples of irrational behavior of the subconscious \ reactive mind Thank you for your contribution!
This was actually good !
@GetMoreConfidence
10 жыл бұрын
Haha, you sound surprised : ) Glad it was helpful.
Great video doc I don't know if you made a video about it or not, but I have a question,: how can I talk with people in my circle of friends, I am always the ''quite one'' in the group...I'm watching my 3 friends having fun together and there is me ... sitting here and laugh but having NOTHING TO SAY... I want to change that but I dont know from where I should start... I have also Asperger syndrome so ... I don't know .... its really difficult...:/
@chriskell4854
9 жыл бұрын
this describes me perfectly. I'm a freaking helicopter pilot, and I still find myself clamming up when in a group, of friends or not. Asperger as well though I like to think I'm functional :p
@sweetestgirl3380
6 жыл бұрын
It feels we have same problem..you in whatsapp?
I take my time when I talk to people but when someone automatically cuts me off in every sentence, I tap out cuz that's very disrespectful....
@GetMoreConfidence
5 жыл бұрын
Good for you!
Well I always try saying "hie" but no one ever seems to respond. What could I be doing wrong?
@GetMoreConfidence
3 жыл бұрын
You may need to say more than that. A question can be helpful to start a conversation.
What are friends?
@Lalsiamk
7 жыл бұрын
Imaginary or Virtual or Real?
@makeitmodded
7 жыл бұрын
Lalxiam Khuptong Don't know the word... F-r-end?
Let me ask you. How do you feel when you talking to someone who barely speak English and who have different looks.
man you are brilliant ......all Iranians are brilliant.....was it a good bridge ????? lol
@GetMoreConfidence
8 жыл бұрын
+ampiciline Haha, I suppose. Except I'm not Iranian ; )
@TravelerWhereof
8 жыл бұрын
+Get More Confidence Looks Italian~ haha
@RonnyDoplo
8 жыл бұрын
+ampiciline it's a pretty ubiquitous semitic name
@nowaynoway4081
8 жыл бұрын
+Get More Confidence that man misunderstood you he didn,t know that you are afghani .
@noelnoni7310
8 жыл бұрын
it doesn't matter where he's from. Stop labelling, fam.
It's not the bridge that's the problem for me...It's what to say afterward lol
@GetMoreConfidence
10 жыл бұрын
Another very important skill to learn. You might want to check out my program - The Confidence Code - it has an entire section focused on how to create and sustain engaging conversations. Check it out here: YourConfidenceCode.com
@morehn
10 жыл бұрын
After the bridge, you need to ask a few closed ended questions. Pay close attention to when the other person opens his eyes a little bit extra or shows a little energy when answering. That clues you into that he wants you to open up the topic.
@CHAPPEN1
9 жыл бұрын
Get More Confidence have you scammed me? its really weird i bought you confidence code and it worked. i did all the exercises and it worked also. but why cant i play your unleashed confidence video?? plz tell me that you arent a hustling me plz man i really need this
woow his rteally Good
What about approaching a women to a country that not really open to talk strangers, I'm living in the Philippines and I'm a Pilipino, my problem is I can't approach a women in here cuz they are not open to strangers, I had only one successful approached with women who is very flirty, and she is the last girl that i had approached successfully i thought it will continue but its not , Its already 2 months since the last approached and it's very frustrating, any solution?
@curiosity19
8 жыл бұрын
+jesson pulutan Hi Jesson, I was born in the Philippines too and much much older than you =) What I've found out in these many many years of experience, is that if you show too much interest in another person, that person won't even pay any attention to you much less have a relationship with you. Playing hard-to-get is a time tested tactic (for both men and women) for attracting the opposite sex, and that you should try. Just have fun with your friends, indulge in your favorite hobby (who knows, a girl might share the same interest as you) and help your mom with house chores (sorry, I'm a Mom). Don't worry too much, the right person will come along in no time =) Read some more about this in this link: www.quora.com/Why-do-guys-suddenly-want-a-girl-after-she-loses-interest
IT'S ZYZZ!!!
1:50 lmao :)
next video: how to breathe air hahahahaha ppl nowadays make me laugh so hard .. but this is good vid
We need the goodbye video!
@GetMoreConfidence
2 жыл бұрын
I'm not sure what you mean?
@filipthedev4159
2 жыл бұрын
@@GetMoreConfidence You had mentioned something about ending conversations. Sorry for the late reply I only see the notification on my laptop
I am not good at come backs and as a male this leaves me open to ridicule. How can I deal with this?
@codeAlongwith
8 жыл бұрын
lol you look like your ready for jihad dude.
@opencurtin
8 жыл бұрын
I think the best thing is to just laugh it off and dont do a come back just say good one ..
Please make a video for smiles
@GetMoreConfidence
4 жыл бұрын
Not sure what you mean?
@sami-pq9uz
4 жыл бұрын
Many people who don't know how to smile during the conversation even me too
now I can talk to other people
why u remind me of that guy from impractical jokers.... ( Its a TV show for people not knowing what that is )
@chrism1518
7 жыл бұрын
SilverWolf 2000 I thought I was the only one who thought that before I saw your comment! "Joe!" 😂
@SilverWolf-he6zh
7 жыл бұрын
😂 Genius right?
are you really a doctor
I'd love a man to come up to me in a Starbucks...
@ren.8137
3 жыл бұрын
Where you at rn
Thought Ray William Johnson retired
The problem is women nowadays only want certain guys to talk to them most likely men their own race
@GetMoreConfidence
4 жыл бұрын
This is very much a story you're telling yourself, and one not all that accurate.
I want to know how very conservative American or English guy feel when they talking to barely English-speaking Asian guy.
Women watch your videos too. It would be appreciated if you could say him or her when you're talking about dating.
@mikeg4561
8 жыл бұрын
Oh no PC police. Relax CHICK
@fightme8166
8 жыл бұрын
Mike G I think, that you think, that I took this way more seriously then I actually did. I'm literally not even worked up. It's just a simple request, not to be taken with an offensive connotation. And I'm a guy. I just happen to respect women, and am able to recognize that they have the same issues we have, and it's just a small thing to say him/her when talking about things that have the potential to exclude one or another gender. Like I said, it's not THAT big of a deal, but it couldn't hurt to just throw it in.
@SemperAugustusBubble
8 жыл бұрын
+Dear Sega Hot women don't need tips on self-confidence. They are already the definition of it.
@fightme8166
8 жыл бұрын
SemperAugustusBubble Okay one, not all women are 'hot', and even if they do measure up to idealistic beauty standards, they still may not have amazing confidence, because people are more than what you can look at with your eyes and see. It's totally ridiculous to say that because a person is attractive that they don't have personal issues that could cause them to not have confidence in themselves.
Does it work for lesbians?
@randomtinypotatocried
9 жыл бұрын
The Astonisher What? I don't hate men. I get along with them quit well and have few of them as friends. I just happen to fall in love with women not men. And way to stereotype me. *clap* And common sense lol. Please focus on your issues instead son.
@randomtinypotatocried
9 жыл бұрын
The Astonisher In that logic when did you choose to be straight?
@randomtinypotatocried
9 жыл бұрын
The Astonisher Also, why do you care? Is finding a girl who actually likes you that hard for you that you have to stick your nose in other people's lives? Because it's not helping you dear sir
@randomtinypotatocried
9 жыл бұрын
The Astonisher Don't you have anything better to do Astonisher? And why bother wasting your time with me? I'm not going to change and force myself to try and be "straight" (already got myself sick trying that). How about instead you do something useful like volunteer, which could help this world you say is so horrible.
@randomtinypotatocried
9 жыл бұрын
The Astonisher I get enough bs as it is. Because yes choice the harder way of life. That's the stupidest logic ever. If it's really a choice, why would anyone want to be gay and live a life where you are at a higher risk for assault, isolation from your peer, and down right having little to no right? Seriously does that make sense?
captain obvious
@GetMoreConfidence
10 жыл бұрын
Haha, I suppose so! Perhaps you need some more advanced material : )
You need to lean how to speak on camera. You repeat yourself way to much. Very awkward
@GetMoreConfidence
8 жыл бұрын
+Mike G Haha, smackdown!
@ReCh1299
3 жыл бұрын
Why do you think everyone else uses jump cuts 😂 it’s natural