How cruel for her biological father to tell her he would have kept her if she were a boy. And then for her bio sister to say it was all in the past! It will never be in the past for Cai Fengxia. Her real father is her adoptive father. As the saying goes, the past is always with us, it is not even in the past!

@infinitude7625

7 жыл бұрын

Asian culture has a system of extreme patriarchy. What you said, Riki, is only superficial. Its origin is nothing short of misogyny. Women weren't allowed in schools til the fall of the late Qing dynasty (early 20th century) when the western influences started to flux in. Women were only valued for 2 roles, being a mother and a housewife, and the image of a woman was always sort of weak, docile, and powerless. That systemic oppression had lasted for a long time. IT IS MISOGYNY and nothing else.

@Iamlatha

7 жыл бұрын

+Liz Mao I don't know which country you belong to. I totally agree with you ? "Were you rich or poor ?" She should've said "I had a father who was so rich at heart that he could give somebody else's daughter so much love that I'm not able to eat my dinner without him. Even though I'm with my biological family, My heart is with him. I'd be proud to be called "his daughter" & to attach "his surname" with my name".

@reylodramione471

7 жыл бұрын

Liz Mao And for her sister to keep repeating that "It's all in the past", that the biggest blow, really. It's not in the past, because it's a burden she'll carry with her for the rest of her life.

@ginnylin

7 жыл бұрын

Latha Baradwaj This documentary didn't have the best subtitles. She wasn't asked if she was poor, her sister asked if Cai suffered when she was little. They were glad when she said she had a decent childhood.

@Iamlatha

7 жыл бұрын

+ginnylin I'm sorry. This is one big heartless blasted family. She was asked, "Were you rich or poor" by her sister. The father fks his wife & abandons his daughter & says, "If you were a boy, I wouldn't have given you up". Everybody laughs. The boyfriend rightly said, "Nobody has any feelings". Is this the way people behave in China ? All that matters is fking, money & sons ? A daughter has no place in the family. These people are not fit to have babies.

She's thinking of her adopted father because she realizes the love he must have for her to allow her to go find her family. But they weren't as expected. I understand the Asian culture of wanting boys but for the dad to say that at such a crucial moment was horrible. I hope she finds peace knowing she grew up with so much love and care.

@SeekerKC

3 жыл бұрын

She was also probably struck by the fact that, since she's an only child, her adoptive mother & father didn't _care_ that she was a girl. The very opposite of what her bio-father admitted. Her bio-mother seemed guilt-ridden. It's only an assumption, tho.

@eburalik

2 жыл бұрын

That is culture of the People's Republic of China

@lesimkien724

Жыл бұрын

So glad that she remembers her adopted father. Love that.

This really goes to show that it's who raises and loves you that are your real family

@lesimkien724

Жыл бұрын

It's sad to see daughter and mother so far apart that theyve become strangers. Even after meeting each other for the first time since birth. It just wasnt meant to be and they've all gone into their own separate lives from each other. All is lost in that one relationship. For the other daughter/case, she has a big heart and even though she finally found and met her birth parents, all she could think about was her adoptive father. She has very much love for him.

Cai is such a good daughter.

@cemuning2607

7 жыл бұрын

Louella Wilson yes she is..

Her biological mother seem rather indifferent about her long lost daughter. I guess they never got that boy so they just kept the daughter. If you had to give your baby away because your husband wanted a son it might make you unable to feel love for that lost child. You would have to close down your heart and not feel. Maybe that is what her mother felt. It is too terrible to even think of. I thought it was a revolution too her that the man that raise her and loved her and didn't give her away because she was a girl was her true father and her heart broke for the love she felt for him.

@n4eva256

3 жыл бұрын

I suspect it may have been shock when she came across as indifferent. Her mother would have had to submit DNA for Cai to match; meaning perhaps there was some desire in her to find her daughter. Its a traumatic decision for all involved. Horrible policy. policy makers are the ones who are at fault.

Cai Fengxia's adoptive dad is a Superman for sure.She is lucky to have a kind of guy as father.

Needs a larger audience, for so many reasons.

At least the biological father was honest. I am glad to hear the children felt for their adoptive families so strongly. By such a twist of fate then many families were created who might not otherwise have been able to have children, so glad that the girls shown in this documentary were loved so much.

"Nothing has changed, my life remains the same."

Cai is such a good daughter!

Li junfen seems like a stranger among her biological families.. Its odd yet sad to see 😢

@TheICEgirl6100

7 жыл бұрын

well yeah they are literally strangers

@MarCeyG

3 жыл бұрын

It was very awkward and difficult to watch. Why did they push to see her if thats how they were going to act.

Cai's story was amazing. I'm so happy she was able to find her adoptive parents after so long but the love she has for her father was so pure.

A very emotional documentory makes me cry

Very touching - wonderful to see the love she has for her adopted father - her love and gratitude for him is obvious - very nice - GOD bless them both

i'm surprised that li junfen's family were the ones trying to find her and yet the reunion seemed so underwhelming... perhaps the old folks shut out everything as a way to cope and deal with the guilt. notice her bio-mum doesn't meet her eye.

@goeticfolklore

Жыл бұрын

I believe it is guilt, these cultures also aren’t as affectionate and like you said, they personally likely are repressing it.

This business is just so bittersweet. You always want to know the answers and you want closure, but sometimes the answers aren't always as perfect as you imagined it.

Very very sad and also joyfully spiritual. My take is we need to be more and more cognizant of what we are doing to our children. They need our love and kindnesses.

@carolfraser8554

6 жыл бұрын

Afarica movies

if your a boy i woudnt abandon you.....wtf is that?

@ellieross6795

7 жыл бұрын

The mindset of pretty much every culture, including Western culture up until the 20th century, really. Boys were the breadwinners, the ones who continued the family legacy, held the honour. Girls were the breeders, the financial burdens that were sold off in marriage.

@Iamlatha

7 жыл бұрын

nicholai122403 That's a cross every girl has to carry.

@LinZhangCS

7 жыл бұрын

That is misogyny - a cultural attitude of hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women because they are female. If someone believes in that idea, he/she will also think girls are less than boys; therefore, he/she would abandon a daughter rather than a son.

@inkbold8511

5 жыл бұрын

nicholai122403 that's called misogyny Chinese culture. It's no wonder why they have 30 million extra men compared to women.

@titonava541

4 жыл бұрын

ellie ross yeah but they weren’t giving up girls in the western culture like on here this is bullshit

the translation is off. they didn't ask if her parents were poor; they asked if life was difficult for her. they wanted to make sure she was well-provided for.

Their real parents are their adoptive parents, who raised them and gave them a home. I remember pictures from the 80's & 90's with little girls neglected and left alone in orphanages in China. Oh, well, everybody wants to know where they come from, hope it gives them some peace.

Too touching that it makes you cry.

This is very touching to me because I was adopted from China when I was 3 years old in 2003 and I don't know if my biological family gave me up because of the policy or because of another reason but someday I hope to search for them and this gives me some hope that there is a slim chance that they are still alive and hopefully well and would like to meet me as much as I want to meet them.

@Iamlatha

7 жыл бұрын

Stay with your adopted family & take care of them.

@Naomi-fb1ej

6 жыл бұрын

Those two are not mutually exclusive. Your adopted family can always be your family but Crimson has the right to find out the answers to unsettled questions... if just to have it settled for once and for all and for a peace of mind. All the best and hope your future is blessed.

@nanni4429

6 жыл бұрын

Crimson 1013 you should stay with your adapt parents. because they give you All the love. I'm a chinese and I have volunteered in the chinese welfare institution, those people who abandoned their kids are extremely irresponsible. you've already have most treasure thing in this world. why still want your heart broken.

@Iamlatha

6 жыл бұрын

+Nan Ni Well said. +Crimson 1013 Believe me you. There is nothing in having filial relations if there is only vacuum & hatred in the place of love. Family is all about caring for each other. Otherwise biological families are a curse. You are blessed that God gave you somebody who loved you "unconditionally" though those who brought you to this world discarded you for whatever reasons & probably don't try to get to you even now. Probably.

@BrownSkinnedDiva95

6 жыл бұрын

facts! ypu may want to know where you came from, but those parents gave you up as your life was seen as of less value than a boys. curiosty killed the cat, stay with those that chose and loved. I have biological family it means nothing in the absence of love!

I started crying ...so emotional

When he tells Cai Fengxia he would have kept her if she was a boy and everyone laugh except her.. :(

One of them are my great grandmother where she had been given to a family of native malaysia and never reunited with her real family till her death , it is sad and happy for us to have her as my great grandmother that gave my grandmother and my grandmother gave birth my father and then us , it wonderful journey of her life we carried her generations to come, rest in peace great grandmother

@inkbold8511

5 жыл бұрын

Way too many great

How odd to laugh that when the father said "if you'd been a boy I would have kept you" then they laughed, even her husband. And he said it so matter of fact. How odd. It is difficult to totally understand another culture. But you'd think the love for mothers and children would be the same everywhere.

@gorgeousg7296

6 жыл бұрын

Pat Stokes because they all feel embarrassed, nothing can do only laugh to over come it

@icesilverwind

5 жыл бұрын

No culture values their girl children more than their boy children? I would love to think of an example, but I just can't. That was the reality back then. They need strong children to work the farms. And boys were considered strong.

@funkychicken2119

5 жыл бұрын

Boys carry on the family name, the family genes. They are also able to help the family farm so boys are looked at as more “valuable”. You really can’t blame the parents as they just know better. During those times many living in these rural areas were uneducated and simple farmers and villagers. Simple ignorance.

@kat9587

2 жыл бұрын

I’m from that culture which does not help me understand the sheer inhumanness and cruelty of such act and mentality. The matter transcends culture - it’s a humane vs inhuman one

@babyspice0206

2 ай бұрын

I think it was all due to the cultural revolution done by the stupid communist party. I was so lucky to be born in HK during those times.

A most touching documentary.

Emotional documentary TT_TT I hope these families find peace.

awesome video about the struggles and enjoyment of adoption and unification. we all have hope.

What an incredible documentary!

I will never understand, How any parent could abandon their child is beyond belief, Those playing Mahjong are acting very ignorant they are only interested in their Mahjong game, if this lady said there is a very large reward then they would be clamouring to get her attention.

thank you for sharing these stories

Very good journalism. Keep up the good work

Good doc, but whoever is putting these videos up for you should be careful of where they put the promo link, because it obscures the subtitles at the end of the video and there's no way to get rid of it.

that's sad

Happy that my chinese grandparents went to austria after this policy. Even though they were extremely poor.

@ellashan7501

3 жыл бұрын

i'm late, but same

emotional ..............

it's in the past no need to think on it......wow

This one hurts so much, but it's true...

One child policy was a bad policy not because of its purpose but its unpredictable consequences. There is no doubt today that this policy is a failure overall. However, it should not become the excuse of those parents who abandoned their kids. Blaming government is easy and cheap, but abandoning kids is not something any parents should do at any circumstances. This mostly happened in the country side of China where people could have at least two kids (strict one child policy was in cities), but those parents just did it. The reasons why they did that were complicated. First, one child policy. Second, female discrimination deep in old Chinese society. Third, limited resources that didn't allow them to raise multiple kids. Just one child policy could not make this tragedy. It is the combination of all. If there was no one child policy, those who wanted boys and could not afford feeding them would still abandon girls. A better policy making process has to be constructed, and education based on modern values and gender equality need to reach those remote areas.

@tardwrangler

2 жыл бұрын

>modern values and gender equality

i’m crying the whole time

So sad❤️

It’s basically impossible to get the real population figures of China because of this stuff.

Painful...

So sad. These families are at a loss in how to deal with the reunification of their daughters? I can only imagine it to feel estranged? It's very sad. 😥

Watch what happened to Monday it's on Netflix. They had a one child policy in the movie & they would kill any additional children but tell the people the children were safe. Smh

Cai seems to be a very kind and loving daughter, she took good care of her adopted father yet she didn't lose hope and struggled a lot to find her biological parents. I really hope she finds peace in her life

WOW!!

What A good man.

isnt it an ironic twist of fate that the daughter that they callously abandoned would be the one to take care of them in they're elder years

I think it's wrong of her biological parents all of a sudden want her to call them mom and dad like they were not her mom and dad for all those years she had a mother and a father and who loved her very much give her time give her space you made your choice no it wasn't really your choice because of the government but you have to live with it now just accept that

Random. I just have to say, she looks like Natalie Tran from Community Channel.

Camera person doing hard work

cia adopted father is very nice

I adopted 2 girls from China. They both not really excised to find their parent. As a mother, I really worry is it normal? I, myself want to meet my kids bio parents. My kids never talk about it. I let them known they are adopted from China. I asked them one of these day we can go find your parents. They both said "what for?". I don't know what to do.

@liviren

Жыл бұрын

yes this is normal. they will be more interested maybe the older they get but let them live their normal childhood without the stress of that. it’s their own journey to discover it. it’s not your job to.

@Foxfire-chan

8 ай бұрын

I’m also an adoptee from China so I can try to give some perspective on this to help you. Everyone is different, here are some possibly thoughts that can go through an adoptee’s head. Some people really want to find out that missing link, others have accepted things and mentally moved on, some people feel it’s better off not knowing, others feel like the past is not a priority because their birth mother wasn’t ever physically in their lives, so they never really see a reason to miss them and want to seek them out. Others may just know that the chances of finding their biological parents within a group of 3.4 billion is almost next to impossible so decide it’s already hopeless before they try searching, others would rather hope for the best of their birth parents and don’t want to hope that they are good people, not wanting that mental image to fade, others think terribly of their birth parents and don’t like the idea of potential having that mental narrative shift. I would really suggest talking with your kids, digging deeper to understand their thoughts and perspective on the topic at more than just a surface level conversation. Most importantly though, respect their wishes and do your best to support them no matter what their answer on the topic is. Telling them about the options is really good as a parent, but remember to let your kids make those decisions on their own terms and in their own time no matter what they choose. Otherwise they could grow some sort of resentment towards you for pressuring them, or be really hurt if they are not mentally prepared yet for the potential possibility of the worst case scenarios (from getting no answers to meeting biological parents who don’t live up to their mental expectations)

@lesimkien724

8 ай бұрын

@@Foxfire-chan Thank you.

@lesimkien724

8 ай бұрын

Thank you.@@liviren

Really? I guess it happened only in certain areas in China. Where I was born I have never heard anything about things like that when I grew up as an only daughter, and every girl I knew was valued as precious as boys by their parents.

@shutupaki

3 жыл бұрын

my mother and her family were dirt poor but my grandparents never gave up their 3 daughters and treated them better than my 2 uncles

@MarCeyG

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds like you both were very lucky.

I kind of want to know who my biological parents are.

How terribly manipulative and exploitative of that company to force a reunion when the daughter wasn't ready. It should be up to the adoptee, and of course, lo and behold, it was a pretty terrible time for everyone. Guilting her into calling them Mom and Dad instead of letting a natural relationship develop if both parties were open to it.

Its so ridiculous where you live in a country that doesn't allow you to have as many kids as you like without suffering repercussions.

To bad for the babies they euthanized. They should be ashamed for that.

I’m one of the left behind kid

parents always love their children no matter what

In India even without any family planning policy itself it is very common to abondon girls. They set up government cradles for abonded girl babies. During late 80s and early 90s gold price splurged. So due to fear of dowry female abortion and abondonment happened. Gender reveal is prohibited in India. But still happens.

They all wore pink

comment section is cancer!! what would you say? everything is not scripted it's real life people

敬启者， 您好，我是沈零星。我在2001年从中国安徽省安庆市被领养到美国。我在2000年出生，而且想要寻找我的亲生父母。倘能如此，可不可以给我李Yongguo的联系方式。 谢谢您的帮忙。

@illusionmess

7 жыл бұрын

Maybe contact Al Jazeera directly through email about this

I'm so glad I grew up without my government controlling how brothers and sisters I could have. How many lonely children must there be from China?

@fauxmanchu8094

7 жыл бұрын

Sharntel Ford Stop being so moralistic and high minded. You people equate communism with everything that is bad. If the government did not enforce the one child policy, the population of China now would be one billion and a half! That is impractical, dangerous, stupid and suicidal. It is unsustainable! How do you think their government will feed, house, educate and give them jobs? Do you have the answers? How would you feel if your country have one and a half billion people.? People just criticise without thinking or informing themselves. Look at rich countries like the U.S. Their population isn't even half a billion yet they have 50 million people on food stamps. Poverty is everywhere, the middle classes are gone, the cities are gutted and the farms are rustbelts. There are no jobs and many thousands are homeless, crime and drug addiction have become epidemics. You wonder how many lonely children there are in China? Did you ever wonder how many abandoned children there will be if they did not implement their one child policy? How many children Will end up in the streets? Go figure.

@zealot4481

7 жыл бұрын

That's because your country is rich, we don't have the resources. In addition, these people abandoned their childern intentionally, because they are traditional, that's the choice they made. They should be punished. My parents won't have me if my brother didn't die in a car accident. They have the money to pay for the fine and have another child, but they didn't for the greater good.If my brother hadn't die, I'd gladly give up my life to serve the country and the civilisation . This is called unity and national pride, there is too much at stake to care about individuals, too little resources to care about human rights, we must carry on with the touch of our ancestors. There will be casualties, but for the bigger picture, we can do anything.

@sharntelford539

7 жыл бұрын

Yes I know it's because I live in a rich country and I know the reasons why the policy was put in place. It is still terribly sad and I still feel grateful that I have a sister. I am learning about world issues and systems and overpopulation and poverty are huge problems that are only getting worse and all solutions are going to be complicated and different for every region. Nothing we will solve in a KZread comment.

@zealot4481

7 жыл бұрын

I agree

@yf4044

7 жыл бұрын

Still, population control is good for the future of China.

Blame the one child policy. If the government didn't have ONE CHILD POLICY. she will not be abandoned. Great to hear she got taken cared by the good couple. That's she grow up a good respectful lady. "The policy is cruel."

@ellieross6795

7 жыл бұрын

The one child policy was actually a good idea. The cause for female infanticide/abandonment of girls is Confucian mindset; the belief that having sons is more reputable than daughters. It's a good thing she was adopted, she is in a loving home and she has much more opportunity.

@yoongs3878

7 жыл бұрын

+ellie ross lol. when you're a woman trafficked into china because the one child policy created a gender imbalance,you would not be saying this. At least if the policy was two child and people would keep one girl and one boy things would still work to an extent. policies are made by taking the culture into account, anything that isnt is freaking half assed.

@ellieross6795

7 жыл бұрын

The one child policy was supposed to curb population growth. It was not the policy that created gender imbalance and trafficking. Rather, it was the belief that sons were more honourable than daughters, so females were aborted/undocumented/sent away. Actually, they speculate the imbalance isn't as bad as they thought, since many girls live reportedly undocumented in China. The one child policy had to exist back then, otherwise, China's population would be overburdened and there would be large amounts of people living in poverty. There are both advantages and disadvantages to the one child policy. While I don't entirely like it, it's also the reason why I, and many other girls, were adopted into loving families with more opportunity.

@vianjelos

6 жыл бұрын

India doesnt have a one child policy yet they also kill and abandon daughters in rural areas because they feel daughters are a burden because once they marry they belong to the husbands family.

@icesilverwind

5 жыл бұрын

If they didn't have the one child policy. If they didn't try to curb the population at that time, the country would've starved more. The way it was conducted, the lack of exceptions, the lack of foresight can all be criticized. But the government looked ahead to nationwide famine, and they acted.

I wonder how much of this is a scam, people pretending to be their parents

@Samuel-lm8jb

2 жыл бұрын

The organisation first conducts dna test

@shaylatorch

2 жыл бұрын

They do DNA testings

They are getting old and the boys won't take care of them is that it. Should have kept the girl.

@ninjapirate123

Ай бұрын

yeah parents made a mistake

You just don't give up your child, ever. So cruel and heartless.

@LilyReiRose

5 жыл бұрын

How can you say that? You don't know people's circumstances. There are legitimate reasons people give up their children. And for most it is a heartbreaking experience.

@MaLenaSarita

5 жыл бұрын

@@LilyReiRose You can come up with million excuses and name them circumstances, but that is all they are - excuses.

@LilyReiRose

5 жыл бұрын

I completely disagree. Giving up a child may be the best thing for the child. That's love not cruelty. In these cases, what the Chinese government did was terrible. But that isn't everyone's story.

@MaLenaSarita

5 жыл бұрын

@@LilyReiRose Well how romantic of you. To give your child to the unknown so you wouldn't have to fight tru life. Lady you can believe what ever you want and go about your merry life. Only a coward would give his/her own. Same goes for the fathers who abounded their children born or unborn yet.

@LilyReiRose

5 жыл бұрын

@@MaLenaSarita A coward? What world do you live in? Because it certainly isn't the same one as the rest of us. You are speaking like someone who has never had to make a hard decision in their life. Like someone with privilege and access. But I'm the romantic for being able to see how painful it must be for a child to be given up AND for the parents to have to give up the child. This policy did nothing but show the girls of China that they have less value than boys until China remembered that their sons need wives. Decades later. But I would never call someone a coward for putting their child up for adoption.

It broke my heart... Time for CCP to apologize..

Is this stupid policy was stopped?

@ninjapirate123

Ай бұрын

yes it finally has

As chinese, If we hadnt chosen communism and atheism，there would not have been so many tragedies in our history of recent decades

The younger Chinese all got their noses glued to their Smart Phones just like Americans, LOL, It's an epidemic..

@Iamlatha

7 жыл бұрын

like Indians, like all the children in the world. Computer, TV & phone in the place of mamma papa & siblings.

Lol. Cai's sister is so evil. How was growing up? Were you poor? What kind of a question is that..

@erinzhang3976

5 жыл бұрын

It's a mis-translation... She is asking her if she has endured hardship because her adopted family might be poor. When cai said no, her sister was relieved and said "that's better". The sister asked out of concern not being judgmental.

I had to do abortion in 1999