I don't want kids. I don't have a reason. Am not undecided. I just don't. Period. Simple.

@blackfeet5810

2 жыл бұрын

Umegonga ndipo !

@user-yk9sk7pg6v

2 жыл бұрын

@Rose me too!

@dreamsdocometrue767

2 жыл бұрын

Me too

@vikingrolloishot1789

2 жыл бұрын

Same I don’t like kids

@beebeetee2926

2 жыл бұрын

It's simple to me......👍🏾

Lets be real ... most people just want a child, they don't want to be a parent.

@Childfree334

2 жыл бұрын

Just like everybody wants to have a wedding, but don't want to be married. 😊

@idontarguewithpeasants

2 жыл бұрын

no i don’t want kids nor to be a parent .

@witcheliz

2 жыл бұрын

I dont want a child, they disgust me, i see them just as needy and ungrateful people. I will never have one or adopt one ,its just another person, is nothing special to me . But i do respect people who want one

@zom_zooz

Жыл бұрын

People see parenting in such a glamorized light. They see children as fun accessories in their perfect little world. It's unrealistic and unfair to the child and themselves.

@dahjiat.8562

Жыл бұрын

@@witcheliz HUH?! that’s how you view children??😭

No child asks to be born. There is suffering in life, and unless I can guarantee no illnesses, no emotional trauma, no genetic disorders, and no stress in relationships, maybe it is better to not have kids.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed!

@jord3000

3 жыл бұрын

Omg I literally told someone something similar to this the other day! Children don’t have a say in being here. Idk why people act like this life is a gift when it’s not. Also if ur from America, you would not want kids. The government is corrupt and sketchy. Why force a child to be here, just to be forced to go to school, work and have to pay bills? Nah.

@direnasminkaraca2333

3 жыл бұрын

I wish my parents knew that before :/

@stillsearchin3457

3 жыл бұрын

@@jord3000 exactly how I feel 💯

@analogkid4957

3 жыл бұрын

Could it be that the prevalence of teenage suicide are people who are frustrated that they were brought in this crazy world without being asked first, take matters in their own hand so to speak?

I don't want kids. I honestly feel like if I have a child, I won't have enough time for myself or my hobbies and I think that being a parent is a life decision that it shouldn't be taken lightly because it's going to affect your life for many many years. So I really don't understand why people tell me that I'm ungrateful or selfish just for not wanting to have kids.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing!

@dunjapanic8532

2 жыл бұрын

Thats really selfish... You can still do your hobbies with kids

@kibibi4765

2 жыл бұрын

@@dunjapanic8532 Not really, plus you don't know what hobbies this person has or any other obligations they have. Nothing about that is selfish, I hope you mature in your thinking.

@newday802

2 жыл бұрын

I agree,and it sucks because in my culture if you don't have kids you're a Witch..The World is Changing it really feels like time is getting shorter ,like there isnt 24 hours I'm a day. INFLATION is real,and bottom line people change like they change their clothes,and The Last thing I want is to be a single Mom struggling if LIFE JUST HAPPENS.

@newday802

2 жыл бұрын

@@dunjapanic8532 Were all entitled to our opinion. There are a lot of children in Foster Care that need homes.We forget about the Missing Children,and Children kidnapped and Sex Trafficked. If we go to the Bible it does say that The Lord wants us to be Fruitful and Multiple, that could be in numerous areas.If you own a successful Business you can have more than enough money to contribute to Gods people and his righteous causes. Were all here on this earth for a PURPOSE& DESTINY. Maybe the "NEW SELFISH" is the "NEW TRUTH".

I'm 48-year-old guy from Greece. I 've too , chosen a child-free life, because , I have too many dreams , I believe , to accomplish while I'm in life, that are , for better or for worse, not related to parenthood, even remotely. My female partner is 42, she is child-free too, and we are very lucky to share the same values and opinions on this matter. Greetings from Greece. We send you our love.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! And I’m glad to hear you and your partner are happy with your child free life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 😊

@Alma-gc2to

2 жыл бұрын

A fellow child-free Greek here 🙋

@extremotionaltrouffas

2 жыл бұрын

@@Alma-gc2to Hello Alma!!! Greetings from boiling Thessaloniki!!

@Alma-gc2to

2 жыл бұрын

@@extremotionaltrouffas greetings from the not so boiling UK! 😅

@extremotionaltrouffas

2 жыл бұрын

@@Alma-gc2to Haha, alright, thank you!!

I'm 36 years old with no children because i remember being told when i was 16 years old " Be sure if you really want kids because once you have them you got them for life! I heard how difficult parenting really is!

One choice is certainly more moral than the other; being childfree never harmed any children! Many children, who were born, lived horrible and meaningless lives.

@tingtingqian6338

2 жыл бұрын

This is a great perspective! I've never thought of it that way but it is so true!

@lmcneillify

Жыл бұрын

Abortion has harmed alot of kids.

@Gigi-zd8vi

Жыл бұрын

@@lmcneillify abortion also saved a lot of kids

@JustanotherYoutuber771

Ай бұрын

@@lmcneillifyAbortion has gotten rid of a lot of cells.

I decided in Grade 4 that I never wanted children. Decades later, I still feel the same way

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Wow, that’s amazing. It took me years to finally realize that I didn’t want kids

@sarahg9632

3 жыл бұрын

@@Brenschannel I certainly question why I never had the desire... society tells me I should... but I believe it is unethical to have a child without that desire. So no desire = no kids (for me anyways!)

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

@@sarahg9632 I agree :)

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

interesting - 4th grade. do you think your classmates behavior influenced your decision?

@QilinRider21

3 жыл бұрын

@@urbana11229 more than likely.

I don’t want kids because they are too much responsibility.

@jord3000

Жыл бұрын

Yes. People need to learn that not everyone wants THAT type of responsibility. I also fear that I’ll end up living my life for someone else instead of myself😫 someone I know has said that when their kids came along, they did EVERYTHING for their children instead of for themselves. We only get one life, you best live it how you want and screw what others think of your choice to not have kids.

I’m a Childfree guy. I’m Nigerian(a poor 3rd world African country)that alone is 1 reason. I’m a Christian. A Child can never go to Hell or suffer here on Earth if it was never born. So win win situation for everyone 🤷‍♂️🙌

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your view on the topic! :)

@urbanvision4365

3 жыл бұрын

Omo naija do wetin dey your mind o a lot of people are keeping up 'appearances' for show behind closed doors it's different issue kids are not cheap

@tessy28

2 жыл бұрын

Lots of Nigerian men are becoming more child free these days.

@vikingrolloishot1789

2 жыл бұрын

I agree

@beebeetee2926

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly!

I'm 27 years Old , and I can feel the pressure of people putting on me to have Kids but honestly I don't want None

@QilinRider21

3 жыл бұрын

Stand your ground. Because at the end of the day all the people around you are not going to be the ones stuck with the responsibility of dealing with the child. They will do what they do best, sit on their royal behinds clucking like farmyard hens

@hoooyea163

3 жыл бұрын

Dont worry friend you have less to worry about as a man, no chance of accidental pregnancies or a body that has 9 months of torture

I feel relieved not being married or having kids. I love being single and free. I am a free bird and don't want to be tied down by anyone or anything.

I thought I wanted kids but then now that I’m 38, I realized that things happened for a reason and being child free is the BEST thing that ever happened to me. You are making the RIGHT DECISION.

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

i'm smiling reading that. When I was 38 22 years ago I had no interest in having kids but was matched by a fried with a 34byr old lady who did !! i thought she'd change her mind. she never did. se turned 38 and dumped me to find someone to you know, and 18 later it looks like she never did.

@Iamhim707

2 жыл бұрын

I have 3 and you can’t understand the happiness they bring

@apopuffkin1717

Жыл бұрын

@@Iamhim707 Results vary - not everyone gets happiness from such a situation.

@juanahabpan1612

Жыл бұрын

@@Iamhim707 we have different kind of happiness. Not having kids is the best decision for me.

It's interesting when people throw at us the "don't you think it's selfish?" question. If you think about it, having children is selfish AF.

@LaBelleJouJou

Жыл бұрын

I think they just want everyone to join the club.

What a great message! I have lived my 20s getting into relationships for the sole purpose of becoming a mother. Every relationship failed. At some point I said to myself that if I don't find a partner by the time I am 29, I will find a donor and become a single mother before I am 30. This whole thing, was influenced by my mother's wish to become a grandmother and not by my true wish to become a mother myself. Since I was 18 my mum constantly told me to have a kid soon, the younger the better, that this is what life's purpose is, to find a partner and have a kid. I got to 29, with a loving partner... but I was in a better place, a mind clear space, where I was finally able to make my own decisions and I decided it wasn't the time, I had lots of soul searching to do on this topic. Fast forward to now, I am 34 and have been through a beautiful self-healing and self-discovery journey. Guess what, turns out I do not want to be a mother, I don't want kids, it had always been my parents wish. I love my life as it is and I am so grateful that my life's path brought me here, to this moment of realization. Thank you for sharing Bren!

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you realized that it wasn’t something you wanted. We shouldn’t be pressured to have kids just to please our family if we really don’t want them

@LaBelleJouJou

Жыл бұрын

I so happy you brought up the pressure from parents aspect. My husbands brother had a kid and the kid was just born and everyone started asking him when is having one telling him he’s next. People ask like it’s mandatory. I personally think it’s private and should be brought up if we choose to.

What annoys me is that people tell me “you should have kids” but so many times they complain how hard it is to have kids and I see how stressed out they are all the time. In my opinion these type of people telling you to have kids because they can’t stand seeing you living your life and doing what you love to do. I’m 26 and I’ve never had a desire to have kids and I’m happy with my decision!

@jord3000

Жыл бұрын

Don’t mind those people. Keep doing what you love while they live miserable and unhappy lives. I feel like people like that didn’t really want kids, but maybe they’ve been pressured to have them by society and even their families.

@patricia_1303

Жыл бұрын

@@jord3000 Yes, well said! Because if they really wanted kids they should be happy and focus on themselves and their kids, not other people and tell others what to do.

@jord3000

Жыл бұрын

@@patricia_1303 I also think they care too much about what others think that they can’t live for themselves and do things bc they genuinely want to, misery LOVES company. Never let other’s pressure or manipulate you into doing something you know you don’t want to do, that’s how you’ll become miserable, exactly like those people.

@patricia_1303

Жыл бұрын

@@jord3000 Yeah that’s right and they also live within the “norm” so they think everyone should do the same thing like get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids, but life doesn’t always work this way and people want different things. Yeah and I would rather argue then do something against my will!

Haveing babies is not gonna fix your unhappy state or depressed in state

I do not want to have children, the world is not easy and everything indicates that it will only get worse. I don't want to put a child in the world to suffer.

@jord3000

3 жыл бұрын

Same then pressure them into living a life they may not want to live? Nope.

@jenniferr9624

3 жыл бұрын

Same.

At 32 years young (😂), I’m currently undecided. More or less leaning towards no kids

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

And that’s totally fine! 🙂

@frummel403

3 жыл бұрын

33 years 'young' 😉 and feel the same way.. about 80% sure.

@pmayh3m

3 жыл бұрын

I have more of a problem with saying years young than not or having kids. The progression of age is only linear with people having more faculties through the further stages. One does not get younger as they age. This isn't Benjamin Button.

@frummel403

3 жыл бұрын

@@pmayh3m thanks for the mansplaining Daniel 😂 (ps please don't take that too seriously)

@pmayh3m

3 жыл бұрын

@@frummel403 lol... you're welcome

Don’t want to go through childbirth and pregnancy Don’t want the responsibility I struggle with generalized anxiety and depression I don’t have the patience I just don’t have the desire

I'm childfree because this lifestyle is way more appealing to me than parenthood. I'm lucky to have a mom who respects my decision and doesn't pressure me to make her a grandma 😊❤

Being an aunt of 9 and having my hands full when parents aren’t around has made me not want kids. I don’t like they idea waking up pissed and bothered. I grew up with anger problems and now an adult and still working on it. It would be selfish of me to take that out on my kid. There are too many parents with these issues and needs to stop.

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

same with being an uncle. you cant believe the s^% they do or don't do and that it becomes a high priority it fix it.

@Will.Flavell

2 жыл бұрын

I’m a child free man myself just recently became an uncle to my sister and her partners baby a few months ago

@Kjones520

2 жыл бұрын

@@Will.Flavell I'm glad I became an uncle. I can spend time with my nephews and nieces, and bring them back to their parents when get tired of playing with them. I enjoy my freedom.

@TYINTOSPACE

Жыл бұрын

@@Kjones520 Same! When I took care of my cousin baby. That baby made me realize that motherhood isn't 100% for me. The thought of being responsible for another life is scary, especially if you messed up your decisions in life a lot.

As a 32 year old woman, married, I’m on the fence but leaning towards no. I remember having a fear of being pregnant throughout my whole 20’s and thought that I would just get over it. A lot of people would tell me, “it’s not the end of the world if you get pregnant, you have a job, a good partner” .....But to me it would be the end of MY world.” My world includes just focusing on my hobbies, taking time for me, focusing on my career, and just plain getting to do what I want to do which is part of being an adult. You no longer have anyone to answer to when you reach adulthood so why all of a sudden do we have to answer to society or family by giving them what they want? I always Thought I would just finally get that instinct to have them but as much as I love kids, I’m never had the real urge to just have them. One of my pet peeves is when people also say, “when you meet the right guy”which quite frankly is insulting to say especially to a woman who may have a partner. I have an amazing kind husband who treats me with respect. He is the RIGHT guy. We just may not want kids!

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

2 great points here 1. its the end of MY world. 2. being an adult. You no longer have anyone to answer to . I think yo mean your parents... thats how I interpreted it.

@hollyhayes9640

2 жыл бұрын

Also, let's not forget that child-birth can also k*ll some people. So it actually is the end of the world for them. 😭

@patricia_1303

Жыл бұрын

I’ve had that when someone said to me you’re boyfriend is not good for you because he doesn’t want to have kids, if you had a guy who wanted to have kids you would want them too. People are so stupid! if I had a partner who wanted to have kids, it would never be a relationship because we want different things. I’ve been with my partner over 7 years now and we are happy without kids.

@jord3000

Жыл бұрын

@@patricia_1303 I cannot believe how worked up people get when someone says they don’t want kids. You can’t force someone to have or do something they don’t want. This life is full of suffering. I’d rather prevent bringing a child into the world now before they are born and it’s too late. Life is so unfair. Having children is a personal decision and should not be made by people who aren’t gonna be the child’s parents. Your friends and family members should never have a say or even influence you to have kids because guess what at the end of the day that potentially child is yours and your responsibility!

@patricia_1303

Жыл бұрын

@@jord3000 Yeah exactly that’s my point! People tell you to have kids but they won’t be looking after them, you will and it means changing your whole life, your routine, your lifestyle, your plans but people don’t take that into consideration and it can be really frustrating. They will never ask if you can afford to have kids, people are struggling financially these days anyway and also people should never tell a woman to have kids, what if she can’t have them? No consideration for other people whatsoever. But I guess these type of people will never learn

I feel like if I had kids I would have a nervous breakdown. I hate loud noises and messes. My ocd can’t handle it

I’m so happy you posted this! I’m 40 and my family tries to change my mind about having kids. It’s just not for me. ❤️

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

I’m glad you liked the video! I’m happy that it’s resonating with a lot of people. Yes, do what’s best for you ☺️

Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child ! Well Said ! I wish more people understand this

As a guy approaching 30, I've always been asked if I have a child or even had a girlfriend, and I said no to both of them, because I never had those desires. People would tell me that I'll end up lonely if I don't. But honestly, I'd rather live a lonely life than not being able to fulfill another person's life experience. As of right now, I'm satisfied with how my life is going.

@mxbvibes

2 жыл бұрын

Same here bro, I’m 25, single and starting to get those questions frequently. I just started my career, like I don’t have time right now I’m good with just my dog (dalmation).

I think having a child is probably the scariest thing you could do. Having to give brith to a human and taking care of it so that it becomes a good citizen is probably the hardest task one could ever have. But I don't think I am emotionally stable OR physically available to have a child of my own. I am a biologist and the idea of generating a child of my own seems fascinating, but given how fast we're depleting our resources I don't see a point to contributing to it by putting another human being on Earth. I think it's super selfish to put a child on this Earth. If you want to be a parent so badly you have to accept that you will love a child and care for it no matter if it came from you, no matter what developmental or psychological problems they might have, no matter how much of a struggle to take care of they will be. It's a big issue that people don't think these things through before having a child, and just do it because it's considered "natural" or so they "won't be alone when they're old".

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your perspective! For me as well, it’s definitely scary the thought of having a child

im so glad you included the undecided part. a lot of people feel undecided and make the decision of having kids to see how they feel but you cant go back from that. thank you for another great video bren!!

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, it’s a huge life decision to make that you can’t back out of once it’s done. So it’s important to be 100% sure. I’m glad you liked the video :)

I love being childfree. Childfree people must be careful to not gloat so much. And we must not let the world make us feel that we owe other people something, such as letting them put their kids off on us so they can have a break of parenting.

@jord3000

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly I will not be taking care of anyone else’s kids. I don’t want anything to do with people who have kids. Like stay tf away from me. Lmao.😂

I've heard people say that they had their kids in their 20s so that they could enjoy their 40s. I say, you can enjoy your 20s AND 40s by not having any kids at all! We were influenced to believe that having kids is a mandatory thing to do when you actually don't have to have them at all!

@blakeavila4409

Жыл бұрын

Drugs have side effects. Also having children prevents breast cancer

@penny4thought168

Жыл бұрын

@@blakeavila4409 Being physically active has the same effect as well as keeping your weight in check.

@blakeavila4409

Жыл бұрын

@@penny4thought168 Abortion increases breast cancer risk

@penny4thought168

Жыл бұрын

@@blakeavila4409 Nope, that's is not true sweetie. That study you read doesn't associate risk because of abortion, it's due to high stress. Read the whole study instead of the title before you start using it as a valid argument. Don't be lazy kid.

@blakeavila4409

Жыл бұрын

@@penny4thought168 I have not seen a study, I have seen a meta analysis. jech.bmj.com/content/50/5/481 I also understand that the greatest surge occurs early in a pregnancy. Estrogen causes the breast tissue and breast cells to grow. If abnormal cells exist in her breast, a potential tumor may be stimulated to grow at this time. In early pregnancy, these immature breast cells are much more susceptible to cancer-causing agents, because they are constantly dividing and can more easily develop into cancer cells. At the end of a full-term pregnancy, a woman’s breasts fully mature and are able to secrete milk. This, in effect, counterbalances the initial surge of estrogen, because the breast cells no longer divide. Thus, they are less susceptible to cancer-causing agents. However, when a pregnancy is terminated by abortion, the capacity for the woman’s breast cells to grow is not switched off. So, while a full-term pregnancy increases a woman’s protection from cancer, an abortion increases her risk of cancer because it leaves more carcinogen-vulnerable cells behind in the breast.

Every time my mother in law asks I tell her 4 grandkids is enough. I already play a big part in their lives. I'll stick to being an aunt. I'm too selfish. I want to focus on my career, going on vacations, and my partner.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

I don't think it's selfish at all. I think it's simply okay for you to want to focus on your career and enjoy your life with your partner. Do what's best for you and what makes you happy :)

@HikaruYamamoto

3 жыл бұрын

Selfishness is not living how you want to live, its wanting others to live how you want them to. You are not selfish!

I myself do not have nor want kids anyway. I'm heavily immersed into my medical profession. Besides when I come home from work and school, I like my place clean and quiet.

If I could have stopped the moment I was conceived. I woyluld have.

@jord3000

Жыл бұрын

Yes. I wish I could’ve stopped it before it happened.

@___hannah.

Жыл бұрын

@@jord3000 I wish I wasn't born, I was I was born as a rich person's dog.

34 y/o and I’ve known I didn’t want kids when I was like 9 or 10 and i haven’t found that desire people talk about, I actually get stressed out thinking about kids.

I have no problem to stay children free)) I'm 29 and I don't like the way this world is going....so, I'm going just enjoy my life)) Hello from Russia ✨

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Privyet! (I’m learning Russian and Ukrainian since that’s what my boyfriend speaks) And yes, you should definitely enjoy your life. Thank you for sharing your thought 😊

@marcellogenesi6390

3 жыл бұрын

Jezebel Love -No one is forcing you to have children, ( God forbid!) more women have decided the same, BUT! And there is always a BUT, if the trend continues, and with the cost of providing for even one child forever going up and more women stop having children, the consequences for a country will be dire, . Hungary and other countries are beginning to wake up to the problem and will pay families to have children. You will not be 29 forever, eventually you will retire, and if the trend continues you will live to be 80 and over; someone else's son or daughter will have to work to keep every thing running, for you and other woman like you to enjoy a certain level of standard of living. Except there won't be enough of them to provide. Every thing has consequences.

@edgar22452

3 жыл бұрын

@@marcellogenesi6390 Again it's a personal decision. Why don't u come at a man with that same logic?

@edgar22452

3 жыл бұрын

@@marcellogenesi6390 There shouldn't be any consequences when it comes to a personal decision. I don't see u going after childfree men like myself and others. Yet u go after our counterparts.

@marcellogenesi6390

3 жыл бұрын

@@edgar22452 I was hoping that you would understand that I was not trying to play the blame game , but stating the facts. I would listen without prejudice if you could be more specific, on points that you disagree. Modern women, have the final decision, when it comes to reproduction, is called women emancipation. They have a choice, but that does not mean that there are no consequences.

I like the phrase...Bring a child into this world...This phrase alone explains why most people really dont want children...

THIS! I resonate so much with this video. People always try to convince me that my mind will change, but I honestly believe if you're not overwhelmingly excited and mentally prepared to have kids, it unfair to bring a whole precious life into the world.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad you resonated with this! And I totally agree with you!

@WifeWithoutKids

3 жыл бұрын

I totally agree with your comment.

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

if people try to tell you you'll change your mind, just say ok, not now, and change the subject,

I can imagine myself being literally anything but a mother. People always tell me that I shouldn’t say that I don’t want kids bc that would make me less of a woman, and I wouldn’t fulfill my purpose in this world as a woman if I didn’t have kids. Even tho I’m accomplished (I’m a neurologist) this apparently means nothing if I didn’t have kids. 😑

@bogumbigb1968

3 жыл бұрын

really how toxic can people get is like they cant see women as humans as persons just machines for the benefit of others .and then they wonder how books like the handmaid's tale exist ps your profesion is goals thanks is just it inspires me to hear of accomplished women and in neurology but sorry for the english thought

@qwertz666

3 жыл бұрын

This doesn't make you less of a woman. Don't listen to those people.

@MALXCX

2 жыл бұрын

Your vagina won’t disappear just because you don’t want kids. You’re still a women. Don’t listen to those people!

I just don't want the economic burden of a family of my own

I totally stand with you in your decision. As a man, I think everyone should be free to make whatever damn decision is best for them, and no amount of guilt-tripping or shaming will ever change that. At the end of the day, only YOU know what path is best for you.

No kids: no stress and more money

You said this perfectly, literally my thoughts exactly.🦋💕

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I'm glad you were able to relate to this :)

@miriamrosendichu

3 жыл бұрын

A thousand percent. Very well articulated. I just got drawn to you. My gut was right. Thank you. 💕

I am the oldest of 6 siblings from Chin state of Myanmar. My parents were farmers and extremely poor. We did not have enough food during rainy season every year and borrow from neighbours. We did not have money to pay school fee and teachers often sent us back home and told us not to come back until we can pay. We attended public school but had to pay a little fee like 500 kyats occasionally and we did not have it. We were very embarrassed in front of our classmates. I cooked and did all house chores, and took care of my siblings at the same time when my parents slept at forest farms from Monday to Saturday. I wore second-hand clothes and never had new ones. My father was alcoholic and drank every weekend, and beat mom every month. Mom fled home to her mother's house leaving us alone with drunk dad. Dad sometimes did not come home for days. Sometimes I cook rice soup and drank it with my siblings because we did not have enough rice. I washed all my siblings' clothes, mine and father's with hands. I cried almost every week thinking 'wouldn't it be better if I were not born'. Many times, I went to nearby forest and planned to commit suicide by hanging myself to tree but always stopped because I pitied my siblings thinking 'who would take care of them if I were gone'. I cried a lot in forest and went back home after hours of crying. Now I am 30 but I still have to work for my parents and siblings. I have been living for others and suffering since as long as I can remember. So I don't want to have children. I just want to live freely and in peace for once before I die. Btw, I am man.

@ottererg587

2 жыл бұрын

Your a literal fucking superhero Sir

Children are not a blessing, in my opinion. They are simply humans just like anyone else. Raising them is burdensome, expensive, draining on social/emotional/financial resources, often boring or unfulfilling for many people, and many of them have severe physical, psychological or developmental problems. You can ask my mom and I’m sure she would honestly say that she regretted having us at one point. I prefer to have a career over children because I contribute more meaningful things to through my career than through having children. I hate the idea of large families. I’m really introverted and my idea of a happy life is peace, quiet and solitude around my house where I have more time to indulge in things more important to my values such as my hobbies, interests, books, and travel. I hate the idea of having 3-5 noisy kids around the house who take away from my time, freedom, solitude, peace and quiet. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Having a large family is just a boring, stressful, loud, noisy, joyless existence, in my opinion. I don’t want to have any children at all, but if I did I would adopt two kids from foster care or I would only adopt one child.

@Simonexx_x

2 жыл бұрын

Love this comment

I'm good with kids but I don't want any kids of my own. I'm 22 and I'm from India. I'm not remotely close to where I want to be in life and nothing comes easily in India. I will have to work alot to pay all the debt I owe and then save for myself as well. Then I will travel the world and donate for causes I believe in. This path is for me. Luckily I have really good friends who accept this and surprisingly quite a few more who don't want to have kids. Also I know it's harder for girls in society when they don't have kids compared to guys but I think we childfree and like minded people should make our own society.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Glad you chose a path that you know is right for you :)

@palakjain1099

3 жыл бұрын

True. We need a childfree society here in India. ✊🏻

@triptirathore9027

3 жыл бұрын

I agree need childfree society in India , I am glad to find these videos

@palakjain1099

3 жыл бұрын

@@triptirathore9027 Me too. Infact we should atleast create a community here through social media or something. It's comforting to see other Indians making the same choice.

@Hrshsngh_19

3 жыл бұрын

@@palakjain1099 yeah absolutely we should. Atleast a watsapp group or Facebook group or something.

I’m currently in college and want to stay focused on my career. I also like going to the gym when I want, going on trips when I want. I don’t want to have to bring extra luggage, which would be the kids. People need to realize that you have to WANT to have a something in order for it to work out well for you. And to add, I don’t like kids. I don’t want to be around them or hold them. That doesn’t make me evil or heartless either. People need to stop acting like childfree people don’t have a heart and are careless. I don’t know how to interact with babies, and nothing can/ will force me to. I always think about do I NEED them? Instead of WANT. Wants seem more selfish than needs.

I’m a 15 year old guy and already decided I don’t want kids.

@MALXCX

2 жыл бұрын

You are a wise young man! Props to you! 💯

47y/o here. My wife and I chose to not have kids. We had an unplanned pregnancy at 39. We seriously thought about changing plans and becoming parents last minute, but ultimately decided not to. I kept waiting to "regret it" as we get older but our life has never been happier. Things just get better as we age. Its honestly bliss, and 0 regrets. Thanks for being honest about the childfree life and normalizing that choice.

@Brenschannel

Жыл бұрын

I’m happy to hear that you and your wife don’t have any regrets and are still enjoying life!

You voice is so calming. I hate that ppl made you cry about you life decisions. Good for you knowing what’s best for you and YOUR life. Proud of you! Child free life over here too 🥳

Those are basically my reasons for not wanting children as well. There is probably maybe max 10% of me that considers the idea of having a kid but for me personally, the cons outweigh the pros. I really value having time to myself and having the freedom to be able to do things on my own schedule. I have a lot of mental health struggles also and it’s already hard enough looking after myself, having responsibility for another human is just not a good idea for me. I don’t understand why some people try to convince other people to have kids. I find it SO weird. Like I don’t go around telling strangers to reconsider having kids - that’s pretty damn rude. It’s like when I tell people (with children of their own) that I’m considering not having children, or that they’re not for me, they take it like some kind of personal attack? When all I’m doing is making a personal decision that doesn’t impact them AT ALL. Also sometimes I feel like their arguments aren’t very convincing lol. The same people who seem to try and convince me to have children are the same ones who constantly complain about the time, money and efforts it costs to raise a child...they fully have a right to complain and I understand being a parent would come with loads of challenges and it’s never going to be rainbows and butterflies! But it’s kinda funny that they are always complaining about it and then try and tell me to have a kid lol. Sorry for the wall of text but thank you for making this video. I’m sorry that you get attacked for choosing not to have children, it’s really unacceptable that people do that.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for watching, and sharing your thoughts! I totally get where you're coming from. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in not wanting kids

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

cons and pros - having a child is not a sports event where 1 point makes the difference b/w winning and losing, to quote Laura Scott you need to have "burning desire"

Thank you! Parenting is an option NOT an obligation!

I always knew since I was 15 that I want to be child free by choice ,I'm glad u made this video, I love u sister I'm 18

Me and my husband married 25 years ago, now I am 45 no kids, no regrets happy 😊like other normal couples . we travel a lot and spent time with each other.nonsense people are criticising as selfish😠.

My parents were horrible to me. I don't ever plan on taking care of them when they become old. Thank God they have other children.

To all the people out there who feel pressured to have children, stay true to yourself. You were born with the autonomy to choose a life for yourself and you should do what's best for you, not what other's expect. I'm a mother and I'm glad to have been able to make that choice for myself. The choice to not have children is for you to make and if you don't have support in your life, just know there are those of us out here who are supporting your choice 💜

Thank you for making this video and speaking about the Childfree community!

“Parenting is an option not an obligation” this!! My older relatives would bug anyone in their 20’s or when they’re successful to have as many kids as if children are props that’ll fulfill the family continuation. I’m still a teen but decided well enough that I have no need to have a kid when I’m an adult. Half of it stems from my past truama, but now it’s actually just i know they’re not needed and would get in the way of many things I achieve for. . I can just keep a cat/dog and be happy enough with just that

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

I would definitely also be happy enough with just a dog or cat :)

I admire your openness. In my opinion, it feels like a lot of people want children without asking themselves the questions you have presented in this video. Many times, people can be so eager to have children but don’t have much of a foundation to support them. I would hate to bring a child into this world unless I understood the responsibility and have to capabilities for them not to struggle just because I selfishly wanted children.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! And I agree with you. There was a point in my life where I wanted kids without fully understanding what that actually meant. Now that I understand what it means to be a parent, I now know that having kids isn’t the best option for me

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

good points - of coarse its easier if you just don't want any.

@justinsmith6095

3 жыл бұрын

@@urbana11229 So true! I have been on the fence of wanting children. As I get older, I have become less interested. But I have not ruled it out completely. Similar to Bren, I have come to understand that parenting is not just rewarding, but it can be incredibly challenging. In addition, being a parent is not a requirement to anyone's life. Some people are just better off not having children.

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

@@justinsmith6095 - agreed, SOME people are just better off not having children. Being that I never really wanted any, no one needed to say that to me..

ayy love for making this video xo ..its such a taboo topic there's nobody to have healthy talks with about it (and many other things, like having toxic parents)

Live a life YOU love!! I fully support your decision!! SAME here. Due to growing environmental and social concerns I will never support natalists but each individual should be free to choose.

I’m glad someone is able to explain why they don’t want to have kids in a way that is not having to say that another persons way of thinking is wrong all because it is different. Great video. Keep it up.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

agreed... I like vanilla ice cream, its not my place to criticize someone for ordering chocolate. same thing with coke or pepsi. you like what you like.

@bennewman4675

Жыл бұрын

@@Brenschannel Being programmed to want kids could be why some people think they want kids. And then realize they don't want kids. But I don't think everyone's programmed to want them. I think some people just want kids or don't want them

So many parents i see have hardly chosen to enjoy life for themselves. And so it confuses me so much why they would choose life for another person.

Ever since I was young I always answered I “never want kid” I an not actively looking into sterilization as my gift to myself at 21

As a black man, I been called "GAY" because I don't have or want children---I feel free and I have time for myself---I know I wouldn't be a good father if I decide to have a child.

I appreciate this video. Fortunately every time I've said I don't want kids and here's why, everyone took it very well. I'm sorry you cried when you were confronted about YOUR CHOICE. That sucks. But I'm also glad you're sticking to your decision. It's a shame how many parents had children for other people and regretted it.

HOW is choosing to be childfree selfish? I've never heard an actual argument behind that??? I'm in the USA and I am definitely not having kids. Didn't want them before, now I definitely don't.

@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722

Жыл бұрын

Same. Heck I dare someone come after me with a gun. I will die with my decision intact

I think kids are great and super and I adore them, which is why I’ve decided to become a teacher, not a parent. I want to help kids learn and grow without having to actually have kids of my own.

I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them. PS: I love your voice :)

Can i give this video 1000👍? I fear pregnancy, birth, the aftermath and to lose myself in motherhood and not be my own person anymore. Love your video. So sad we women are shamed for not wanting to become a mother. I have always loved animals and felt not comfortable around babies or small kids. So i rather be the typical catlady and get my cuddles and love from a being that i love like a familymember.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the video :)

My husband and I are childfree. We both didn't realize it until after we were married, so we are very lucky that we are on the same page. I have ADHD and love being able to be spontaneous, spend lots of hyperfocused hours on my hobbies, and being able to be an excellent friend to many. Being a parent wouldn't be conducive to the lifestyle I envision. I'm so happy just being an auntie to my niblings and a dog mom to our rescue pup. Thanks for sharing this video!!

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching! I would definitely be satisfied just being an aunt or a dog mom as well :)

I am happy to know that there are many people who want to be child-free like me. I do like kids but don't want to bring children in this toxic world. Besides, I'm scared for the environmental destruction in future and it would be difficult for them to survive. I might adopt a kid if i change my mind in future.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Adoption is a great option if you ever change your mind. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)

42, married, child-free. DINK FTW!

Great video. I’m a 28 year old guy who knows I don’t want kids. Having them is a choice! Keep living your truth :)

@MALXCX

2 жыл бұрын

Good for you! Always be that way 💯

I’m afraid of being left alone to raise a child. No thanks.

It was just yesterday, my friend and I were discussing marriage and children and I happened to say that I don't want any kids -- her awkward response felt as if something was fundamentally wrong with me. I wasn't shocked by the reaction but definitely taken aback because I expected atleast my friends to respect my decision. 🙄 But I'm glad I was able to relate to what you had to say. You have a soothing voice 💙

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

I’m glad you were able to relate!

I think a combination of working on and off in preschools and working with old people made me realize I don’t want kids of my own (I’m 34 and a cis-woman, for context). People assume you’ll be lonely when you’re old if you don’t have kids or that no one will take care of you, and that’s just not true. I particularly remember a lady who lay dying in her bed for weeks and her kids barely showed up even then. The people who took care of her and made her feel less lonely were us, the carers.

We are 44 & blissfully childfree. The family & cultural pressure is enormous. So glad we didn’t cave! Peace & good luck ☀️

I struggle with PTSD and depression aswell, that's another reason I'm not having children, my biological mother has mental health issues she didn't deal with and her mother aswell. It's a curse I'm not passing down.

More people who don't have children need to speak out. I am currently 37 and I am at a point where I am unsure. Because am NOW older, I worry about the risks toward the child. I am NOT worried about never having children but I would still be blessed if I had one.

Growing up in a very disfuncional family i always felt like i had to have kids when i got older just because my sister did and because my mom wanted grandchildren but after seeing the struggle my sister went through i decided i didn't wanna go down that path and now my family feels like I'm not complete because I don't have regular children ( i have two fur babies) and for some reason they feel i can't give any sort of advice to them because I don't have kids. It's ridiculous but I'm learning not to take offense to it and just move on.

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing! I hope to have fur babies one day :)

@rachelcontreras9225

3 жыл бұрын

@@Brenschannel you will once you're ready i have two pugs and they are lazy and active like me 😂🥰

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

@@rachelcontreras9225 pugs are so adorable

@rachelcontreras9225

3 жыл бұрын

@@Brenschannel tell me about! I wake up every morning just so happy to see there little fuzzy faces 🥰

I really like your "preface" to the video, and i love the rest, too. You're very bright and articulate. I'm a 50 year old child free woman, and i knew i don't want kids ever since i was 16. I was open for it to change, but it didn't... There are prices to being child free (for me at least)- but i think they are totally worth it. (Children are no guarantee for care taking in old age!)

@Pankaj-4572PR

Жыл бұрын

This is what we were worried about but you responded us accidentally thank you

@bennewman4675

Жыл бұрын

Being programmed to want kids could be why some people think they want kids. And then realize they don't want kids. But I don't think everyones programmed to want kids. I think some people just want them or don't want them

I never had the desire to be a parent, and there are so many things I still want to do, and kids would just get in the way of that.

"I plan to live like the Golden Girls". I love that answer.

I'm honestly struggling with this decision. I'm constantly wondering when the urge to want to be a parent/feeling ready to be parent will kick in for me. I'll be 29 soon and haven't felt it yet.

@SlasherIncorporated

Жыл бұрын

Sounds to me like society has gotten into your head. You're wondering when the urge to want to be a parent is going to kick in which means that, deep down, you believe that you SHOULD be having that desire...as if not feeling it is somehow abnormal. That urge may never come, and I think it is a waste of time and energy for you to be constantly wondering when or if it ever will. It's okay if you end up being childfree for the rest of your life. Just don't go and have them because you feel you should. That's NEVER a good reason to do it.

We have a couple on our street, 5 grown girls and 38 grandkids. All based on religion. When they found out my wife and I didn't have kids, they looked at us like we just committed a mass shooting.

@Harunna25

3 жыл бұрын

38 grandkids? 😳 Woah! And yeah we get the "wtf is wrong with you weirdos" looks every single time people find out we don't have and don't want any kid. 🤦🏾‍♀️😂

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

I'd avoid them if I could. The 5/38 breakdown. what religion told them to have that amount, or ONLY that amount?

I decided to be childfree because I have a chronic illness. I'm too busy managing my condition. If I have a kid, I'll have no free time and will become depressed not being able to do what I want. Also I already work as a teacher, so I won't miss out. And I'd rather teach something I'm passionate about to a kid who's passionate about it, than have my own kid with no common interests with me. I cannot expect my own kids to have the same interests with me, but I can find students who do.

I am 22 year-old, I decided not to have kids because of many reasons. The first reason is life is short and I have many dreams and things to do that would be difficult with children. As an Arab female, ( I live in one of the worst Arab communities, where a female is nothing) and I haven't achieved any thing yet, I didn't live my adolescence, or even adulthood. I just want to get out of this hell and start a new life from the beginning. So I need each penny and each minute in my life. Also I have ADD and I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for years.

I want to spend my life traveling and I can’t afford to travel and have a child at the same time.

I feel the same way, too. I have autism, ADHD, anxiety and some forms of trauma, and I’m not taking chance at breeding. I’m glad to be an uncle.

I think I’m too selfish to have kids. I love living my life for myself, having freedom to do what I want everyday. If I became a mother I would feel forced everyday to do things I rather would not do, lets be honest, entertaining a kid sucks, its only wining and lots of tiring work, I would become a moody and depressed mother (not a good one) and I would feel guilty everyday.

@renek2913

Жыл бұрын

Selfish is subjective and its not something to be seen as bad. In fact, people deciding to have kids can also be said as selfish as they always have kids for their own benefits i.e needing someone to care for them in old age, fear of being lonely, boredom, hopes their kids will break them out of poverty circle even though the world is already facing so many problems of its own.

You are right. As a care giver most of people when they get old have their full time professional care givers and rarely their relatives .

I’m subscribing to more and more childfree by choice (or circumstance) KZread channels. And now I’ve subscribed to your channel too. I respect people’s choice to have or not have kids. I myself have chosen not to have kids. And I’m content with my choice. 🤓 I love dogs and cats, books and art, architecture and philosophy (not a philosopher, just interested in it) and being childfree gives me time to pursue my interests as much as I want. I love peace and quiet time, and I am not interested in trading it for having kids. Just my preference. 🙃🙂 - I really enjoyed your video, your voice is very soothing.🌻🌻🌻

Wonderful and thoughtful video! I feel the same way. I like children, but there are many things i like that i dont need to surround myself with 24/7. And choosing to not have children does not mean i am choosing not to love. I love my partner, my friends, my parents, my dog, i love nature, animals and time alone. I love my plants and i love to cook. I love to meditate, i love silence. I love to write, to keep a tidy and minimal home and i love to read. I love freedom. Also our natural resources are not endless. So many reasons for me. Im glad i am not alone. Thank you for making this video!

@Brenschannel

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the video :) And that's so true what you said; just because we choose not to have kids doesn't mean we are choosing not to love. Thank you for commenting!

Looking after yourself is hard enough as is. If you don't know yourself very well, what chance do you have with someone who is NOT you and also knows literally nothing?

I'm a high school teacher. One day I told a 12th grader that I didn't have kids. Her response: ...but, Mr. Bachatero, don't u WANT that responsibility? Once again, it made me see society's programming in action - part of being an adult is that u're supposed to WANT it (as if the want is an on/off switch)

I don’t like kids so therefore I won’t be having any. Simple.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. It's not easy to do and I agree, we do not owe anyone any explanations but it does feel good when we can all unify in our choice! 💛

We are seven billion in this planet why need more there are kids dying and starving we should help them first I have heard many people say childeless marriages fail but marriages with children fail as well and have worse consequences

@HikaruYamamoto

3 жыл бұрын

Whoever says childless marriages fail is lying. Why would people who have more time and money to spend together be more unhappy? Doesn't make sense. Now if I had a dime every time I saw a marriage fail due to kids... I'd be rich. More arguments, less sleep, less money, more fights, less time together, less attention on each other, dead bedrooms... kids kill marriages. Even if they don't divorce "because of the kids" they are still not together.

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

@@HikaruYamamoto - probably because one wanted kids and the other didn't

@HikaruYamamoto

3 жыл бұрын

@@urbana11229 Well then they will be much happier finding someone who actually loves them and won't choose hypothetical children over them.

@urbana11229

3 жыл бұрын

@@HikaruYamamoto - as I did ! Wish I had thought of that phase hypothetical children 20 years ago.... then again if I had I may not have been "much happier"

@HikaruYamamoto

3 жыл бұрын

@@urbana11229 why wouldn't you have been happier?

Love your video! If I would start writing everything that I feel right now, it would be endless. Long story short, I agree 150% with you. I ended up in your video after one of many frustrating conversations that ended up in why am I not having kids and all the "ifs" that come with that. I just wanted to explode but I decided to check how to empower myself, to recharge watching YT about this. I am 30 and I have never wanted kids, since I was one myself. I hated all my dolls and I loved all my stuffed animals. The more I grow up, the more I know that I am fine the way I am.