Stella is taking on more clients for her Structure with Stella course: which will sort out your sleep pattern, eating, exercise and stress. On this course in under 10 weeks I lost 7kg, got stronger than Ive been in my life at 45, sorted out a lifelong insomnia issue (I now sleep 7 hours regularly, previously I couldnt manage more than 4 without waking up), sorted out my sleep apnea and cleared all markers for metabolic syndrome from blood panels! Recovery from narcissistic abuse takes STRENGTH, mental, emotional and physical, you must be strong and structured and live within an ordered schedule. Yes christmas is coming (cheat on christmas day, I wont tell Stella if you dont!) so get on this 8 week course and start the new year in good shape with a clear head and a healthy body! Join us here www.strongwithstella.com/strongwithstella-course

@sanja1502

6 ай бұрын

Stela is from Serbia?! 😅

@RICHARDGRANNON

6 ай бұрын

@@sanja1502Croatia 🇭🇷

@sanja1502

6 ай бұрын

@@RICHARDGRANNON Dobro 😄

@agoodreadsgirl

6 ай бұрын

She is the sweetest ❤❤❤

@theoriginal7727

6 ай бұрын

So grateful for all the material, still working on Richard, and bringing the very important, moral and ethical elements into it as well as philosophy. I know you didn’t get to swing around and focus specifically and exclusively on philosophy in this new face of your life as you wanted to this year! But you still integrate it with the work that you’re doing on personality disorders Phenomenally, well, and in ways that is often missing from most journals. Much love brother thank you. 🎉🎉🎉

He lives in my head, because unlike HIM, I am not distracting myself on date sites, porn sites, sucking supply from my neighbours, seducing strangers with charming vocabulary…getting my ego boosted by riding a fancy motorcycle for supply in groups with other riders… I am alone, healing, pondering on why I didn’t allow myself to leave sooner. Self reflecting on my past traumas and how I move forward in a healthy way - learning to love myself again, by filling my own cup and finding happiness from within from God as my guide and protector. He can stay in his demonic and dark world. One day I will wake up and not think of him - cannot wait! God willing it comes soon 🙏🏽

@theoriginal7727

6 ай бұрын

Yep… Healing. Of course, all of us humans with an intact, conscience and psyche, ethics and morals, and a heart question ourselves, and sometimes even terrorize ourselves in the aftermath of these relationships! There’s no real way to understand what it’s going to be like, or what it’s like from the outside until you’ve been in one. And we’re trying to prevent ourselves from having happening again, the survival part of our brain keeps looping around to try to find the patterns and ways to make sure it doesn’t happen anymore. But the problem is not anywhere within us, we will find it. The problem that we met evil and we were unprepared for it, because we cannot imagine that there are others who go around gleefully, spreading destruction and chaos like these psychopathic pieces of shit too. Keep watching videos from Richard, I love inner integration with Meredith Marie Miller as well, but there are dozens of great creators on here now also. When I first started finding out about this in 2017 or 18, Richard was a literal lifesaver. Glad that you made it out! You are a gorgeous lady and you will certainly find a person that loves you in all the ways that you want and deserve. Don’t let your heart grow hard and bitter, this was the action of one evil loser, and not all of humanity. (I had two of them back to back, and the healing process becomes more difficult, have my finances and career tied up with the second one as well. That is in nuclear waste and ashes, as you can imagine!)

@Ellajaie

6 ай бұрын

Exactly ! Right there on the same journey as you. Good riddance

@YAHAYAH_369

6 ай бұрын

@@theoriginal7727 Thank You For 🌞🌈 This Blessed Message

@YAHAYAH_369

6 ай бұрын

May You Recover From The Abuse And Turmoil Godspeed, Beautiful One

@frankly1744

6 ай бұрын

I am on the same Journey and the funny thing is my Dr. asked me how things were going and if I knew anything of my x. I immediately replied, nope and I don't care what he is up to, whar he is doing, even who he is with. I loved him once, he taught me not to! My mother once said these types teach you hate, she is right although I don't hate him. I just honestly don't care. That question my Dr. asked and my quick reply was honestly refreshing, even to me!

It’s just occurred to me how toxic the concept of “forgive and forget” is in the context of narcissistic abuse. I’m thinking forgive but never forget and go no contact.

@scottwwsi

6 ай бұрын

the only person I forgave was myself.

@YAHAYAH_369

6 ай бұрын

Forgive Them 🌞 Forgive Your Self 🌈 Go + Stay No Contact

@chrissemenko628

6 ай бұрын

​@@YAHAYAH_369But don't forget

@philjones6522

6 ай бұрын

I wouldn't waste my time forgiving them unless there was acknowledgement and change on their part. More valuable to forgive yourself and do the work.

@YAHAYAH_369

6 ай бұрын

@@philjones6522 Most Likely There Will Not Be, Not A Sincere Apology Anyway The Forgiveness Is To Let Go, of The Hate In One's Heart 🌞

I started a memoir and after having written down all my partner had done and seeing the despicable behavior on paper, I almost immediately broke free. I will keep these example in my mind anytime I waver. I WAS COMPLETELY romanticising what was. Get it on paper and stare at it.

6 ай бұрын

I definely will attempt.

@johannakunze3300

6 ай бұрын

Oh that is amazing advice.

@mizzesbee

5 ай бұрын

I wrote down most of the things that he did to me.....And I was so confused why I stayed so long......I tried to break away from him so many times.....But stayed fully knowing he was cheating, lying, addicted to porn, alcoholic,self absorbed, addicted to dating websites.....Finally had a big argument with him telling him I was so tired of dealing with his bs.....Then he started raging about I was cheating etc.....I went know contact.....And I'm trying to heal from 9yrs of pure hell...

5 ай бұрын

@mizzesbee Just try to reflect on it. Be objective and learn from it. The emotional part is going to be there yet. That's something you have to be ready for as in yourself. I wish I could help but I have my own challenges myself. Hope you can find what you need and deserve within yourself, and hopefully another partner

@mizzesbee

5 ай бұрын

Thank you.....I done being a victim......now I have forgiven myself......repair my self-esteem......and ask GOD to continue to strength me while I move forward.....And not to look in my rear view mirror......I appreciate you responding

This man is an underrated genius!

@lilalov1569

6 ай бұрын

Oh oh oh ! Yes ! Listening to him is My XMas Present ! We should try and clone him as hetero

@sallymckee5264

18 күн бұрын

I swear I am falling in LOVE 😂

"the narcissist's intentions for you will continue long after the relationship has ended". Yea. So true.

@misterdeebs1990

3 ай бұрын

Right? The hardest part of my healing, so far, has been trying to repair my self-esteem & restore my confidence. The gaslighting, lies, DARVO, cheating, & especially the cruel things she said to me. At the end, when she slid right into a serious relationship with the new supply, it included comparisons between him I that cut to the bone, even if it WAS based on lies.

When he ended the relationship I calmly walked away and went no contact. I actually felt relieved. I am starting to get my normal life back.

I can’t wrap my head around the trauma and how the narcissist leaves victims in their wake with no apparent consequences, no accountability. The narcissist in my family is protected by her flying monkeys. They come to her rescue at the slightest threat to her while she stabs her narcissistic wand into people all day! The injustice! I will definitely set up a moral compass. What she did was/is wrong!!!!

I think people who went through the hell of narcissistic abuse and heal are the phoenixes raising from the ashes. It gives your superpower. ❤ Please try to look at your journey from positive way of thinking even though healing isn’t easy process, sometimes you feel you have moved forward, sometimes you feel that you went backwards again. Stand your ground.

Cognitive dissonance is a slow tethering of the body, soul and mind as a result of perpetual attacks of orchestrated confusion. The person in the midst of cognitive dissonance is completely absorbed in a mind minefield and emotional battle between reality and excuses based on false hope. I know how it feels. The result of the dissonance causes complete detachment from reality. The dissonance is the juggle between the blame shifting, narcissistic rage episodes, constant put downs and threats (which cause us to self reflect and blame) - this is the guilt trap. This is where the narcissist projects and begins to deploy isolating- tactics to trap the person physically, mentally and emotionally. - vs the opposing light side of hope. The narcissist generate fuel from seeing someone else BELOW them and feeds off seeing another person in pain. Isolate them physically and then feed emotionally through reactions of the pain. The result is the mental dissonance and confusion which is a tool to play with the mind, emotions and soul of the other person. It is really awful. Finally though since I can see through it and the scars, the poison will eventually go. They try to make us like them, lacking empathy. The only thing a narcissist loves is power and sadly the punching bags are the closest to them. If the energy feels soul sucking, get the F out. Healthy people self reflect, take ownerships of mistakes and try to make amends. A narcissist is like a child learning to butter a slice of bread, when the bread rips they blame the bread, the butterknife and the butter.

Most people assume there was physical abuse involved there could have been without them laying a hand on you I explain it is the most painful experience for the mind to have to endure and consequently affect your health.

I heard this quote that sometimes when you're on the right path, the universe winks at you. You showing up in my life through this video, today, is the wink. Thank you.

Thank you Richard. Last week my therapist said me one thing which changes everything: " YOUR VOICE IS LOVING FOR YOU and the narcisstic voice is against you. Co-dependency is NOT a disorder neither an addiction, neither something to fix or to deal with. It is a strategy to deal with threads. Trying to be perfect or to fix yourself is part of co-dependency." He gave me the exercise to look deep inside and to journal what thoughts I have about myself and to reject all the negative ones and to replace them with loving ones, with my voice wich is FOR me. He said: when you are in pain, there is a belief about yourself which is a lie". I practiced this since 5 days and I am so much better.

@frankly1744

6 ай бұрын

That is great advice, a bit of Jungian type shadow work, but simpler. I am going to try that myself see what I discover as writing is a great way of bringing out the unconscious self. Thanks for sharing that idea!

@claudiasbarra1044

6 ай бұрын

@frankly1744 great that it may be helpful also for you. For me it was also helpful to forgive myself, my inner beeing for tge negative voices, and sure allowing the emotions which go with it ,feeling them and then decide to release them and to decide that I want other experiences now and then feel in my body how it would feel to have better experiences. Wish you a wonderful time.

@christinekisso8358

6 ай бұрын

With all due respect Be careful not to turn into a narcissist has ur psychologist been through narcissistic abuse. Please be careful who you trust for your healing I use the bible kjv n channels with scripture if u like I can share narcissists break your spirit . Thanks for sharing Richard Gran

@claudiasbarra1044

6 ай бұрын

​@christinekisso8358 my therapist has been through narcisstic abuse....and the bible says: love your neighbor as you love yourself!!!!. Loving voice doesn't mean narcisstic voice (egoistic) voice. There is a huge difference. My therapist helped me a lot. I don't take this " be careful to not become a narcissist". This is guilt tripping like the narcs in my life did. I don't use the bible to guilt trip myself anymore. The narcissists wanted us to do so. And this doesn't mean that I become a narcisst. I can selfreflect on my mistakes.!!! And it’s not respectful at all to say " be careful to not turn into a narcissist". This is the voice of the narcissist. It really reactivated the narcissists projected voice still running a little bit into myself. I use it as a challenge to reject this guilt tripping voice and to become stronger. This is exactly what Richard is explaining. If you want, check in your mind who told me this? Was it you or the Internationalised voice from the narcissist???? I can say that the more loving and caring I become with myself the less narcissistic I become.😊❤

@staceystrukel1917

4 ай бұрын

Does having that voice still there sometimes mean your still codependent? I’m not sure about that. Something can trigger those memories and voice probably for the rest of your life. If you eventually know it’s a false voice and can let it go but just observe it, aren’t you healed? It will get easier and quicker to release it. I don’t know if you can ever truly get a narcissistic parents voice out of your head. If triggers don’t bother you at all then I would think that would be a problem. Not responding to the trigger is the healing. I don’t know, I’m just rambling.

It's like a battle between the mind and the heart, reason and logic vs obsession and emotions

"You are not your thoughts: you are the intelligence behind your thoughts." "You are only at the mercy of your core/guiding beliefs, if you 'believe' that you are."

The important thing is our platform we call our true self. Thus is our boundary between soul and mind. This is our core. It never changes. But our self images do. The narcissist has a damaged or destroyed platform. So everything is false image. There is no known way to fix them. They have mirrored your image back to you in a perfection form. This is the shared fantasy base. That's why you feel whole and complete with them and there's biochemistry involved. So you are also in addiction. You were high as a kite. That's used for control. You supply their fake self image. They are spiritually dead. They have to have an external supply. It's a matter if survival for them. Just like blood to a vampire.

@Glitter504

6 ай бұрын

Well said 📝

@frankly1744

6 ай бұрын

Resolved the fight. Am in therapy, now trying to step away and live and support our mutual adult child in a constructive way. Making Headway! Yay!! Thx Richard, always look forward to your content. Always Helpful!!

@elsh332

6 ай бұрын

I used to suffer BPD w/ narcissistic traits (I actually believe they are on the same sliding scale, BPD & NPD). I have no stable sense of self. After years of work and recovery, then 2 failed marriages both to narcissists, I've started using a concept I created to help me anchor myself in my true self. I have looked back over my life to find the threads of who I really am in amidst the mess and chaos and dysfunction. I found my "missing self" by taking this approach. But it has been hard!! I have cried over all the lying versions of self I lived, all the people I hurt along the way, and all the hirt I sustained. You are right about self image being malleable. Mine was ever shifting and it caused me to be unsure of who I was - that's what caused my unstable sense of self. Because I was not allowed to discover and then BE my self as a child, I believed my self image WAS me. It was not. Now that I'm allowing myself to discover who I am and live that out, my recovery from narcissist husbands has been incredible ❤️ I'm not only recovered from BPD (which is a serious mental health disorder), I'm also largely recovered from the abuse and the narcs infiltration of my head space! Thank you for putting words to a concept I've been living but had not yet put to language 🙏

@AmandaMG6

6 ай бұрын

Nothing is actually *true* in our perceptions but this is a good thing. We can choose to believe what is helpful

@barebonesbrisco3954

2 ай бұрын

Yes it feels like addiction! I hate it! WTF? I never had this type of attachment in my youth! Nope I must return to ice cold or stoicism. If you have a heart get rid of it!

Alone in your moral standards. Alone period

Ironic timing to find this video I’m driving myself nuts cause I keep thinking and reliving everything 😢

@theoriginal7727

6 ай бұрын

It’s really harsh! The abuse, literally rewires and can shut down parts the brain, if it’s long-term, it can lead to mood disorders, easily, and personality disorders, potentially, especially if it’s from childhood… Trauma shrinks the hippocampus and affects the cerebellum and other parts of the brain. And it gets us locked into the middle brain, emotional part, and then we get put on that loop/rumination.can’t think of anything else, but the abuse endlessly! Really hard for a while. And it becomes just a really hard life if it’s ongoing from childhood.

@jakebowman6781

4 ай бұрын

The same. Just found it

@meggbrewerton909

2 ай бұрын

Same here. I spoke to my sister about me obsessing over the narc this evening, how I can’t just switch it off!

I had the problem that he did everything without me knowing.I experienced a beautful ever so nice man who shared an exciting life with me.He was passive agressive.I was in it before I realised.

Betrayal killed me the lies killed me. Although now I’m in the best space. NOW. Hang in there kindreds. 🙏💚🙌

@ericking4072

6 ай бұрын

ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ARE SO LOYAL&LOYALTY IS SOOOO IMPORTANT TO US!HARD TO BELIEVE SHE DUPED ME......YET AGAIN!

@jasonbrowning546

6 ай бұрын

@@ericking4072 it’s all they know, forgive 100 times and each time they be worse hurting you

They break your spirit and it takes longer than a normal heartbreak. It does take WORK to heal and long time. Richard Grannon helped me immensely. On occasion, I still hear him; I pray and it stops, but it does come back eventually. However it does not run my life and 95% I do not think about it.

@theoriginal7727

6 ай бұрын

Takes much longer, and it’s much more difficult, because a normal break up is two people where things just didn’t work out, although they tried. Dealing with a narc there was only one person in the relationship, the other one had set out intentionally to destroy this person! we just can’t imagine this, as a normal human being in the outside. Until we’ve been through one!

I was diagnosed with Psoriasis when I was in 7th grade. It was because of all the mental and psychological abuse and some physical abuse also that my mother put upon me. Now I have ankylosing spondylitis, had back surgery 2 years ago and went no contact with my mother Jan 1st of 2023. She retired about 3 years ago and she started up with her crazy gas lighting, blaming and shaming me when she retired. (I'm a 54yr. old adult with 2 adult children and a grand child and I have a career and my own house.) She abused my grandbaby and I witnessed it on the baby monitor when I was in my garage. Then last New years, she was over and went to leave and my 1 1/2 year old grandbaby was standing right in frint of her by the front door which she opened. She knew he was standing there. All of a sudden I hear my grandbaby wailing and crying. I asked her, "What happened?" She stood there in her rage and yelled, well he was standing right here and I shut the door on his fingers." She blamed my grandbaby. She didn't try to console him or say she was sorry. I took her abuse. But when she started her psycho shit with my grandbaby....that was it.

@iamcuriouswithai

Ай бұрын

And you enabled the abuse instead of protecting your own children, I hope you got the courage and strength to finally cut that cord. You have to be accountable and make change.

Yes no voice. Anger. Sorrow. Pure sorrow from giving so many years of love forgiveness.

I would be told I am not doing enough around the house, I don't do enough with kids, our love is conditional, I only have intimacy cause you want it, she hated my family and always made me feel I was not enough. I then find out she was cheating on me in the most horrific way possible. That was the final straw and I took back the power in my own life. I have five kids with this person and that's the best thing to come out of this false love. Stay strong, confident and love yourself. You can't keep a good dog down!

@navy_flyer2331

4 ай бұрын

Your story is literally a MIRROR image of mine with my wife. Only difference is we have two kids. Stay strong, I'm only at the beginning of my divorce process and I know it will be a long and painful one.

What i ve experienced it s not only deciding that the behaviour and the intentions are wrong. On top of that you have to accept that bad people exist with bad intentions. It rocked my world vieuw. I needed some time to incorporate that realisation.

@AndreeaT3003

6 ай бұрын

It was a hard pill to sollow for me too…people are actually capabile of such cruelty.

@Wherethereisnodarkness

4 ай бұрын

No... we ALL have the potential for evil within us... ALL OF US... there's no such thing as a good or bad person, only good or bad behaviours

@annai3394

Ай бұрын

During narcissistic abuse recovery we need enough time grieving. Sometimes we want ourselves to heal fast but we don’t even realize how much damaged we are and we really need TIME for body and soul healing. Battling Cognitive dissonance alone is extremely hard. It comes with ups and downs.

"Deconstruct the matrix" 👏👏❤️ Escape the limbo

This helps me understand the first year out of my narcissist marriage when I was behaving in out-of-character self destructive ways. I’m starting to see how susceptible I was to this brand of abuse. During the lovebombing phase my low self esteem told me I was nothing without my partner. As the devaluation began, I felt I was nothing with him & also nothing without him. So what did that leave me? I felt so trapped & worthless it is miracle I got out & a miracle I did not end my life. I really value the insights here, as well as the periodic comic relief.

You're absolute right about this topic. One of the snakes is the justification of them. In my mother case I JUST couldn't accept a mother want the worse for her child, because if I accept this fact I will not have any mother, so the one desiring the worse for me is at least one. I did the exercise, but was a battle in a part of my that not want for any cause accept that fact. Also, here is the thing. They're people that ENJOY darkness and their rol. The part that we can't undestand that, urgelly wanna change them. Why we can't accept it? Because we're in the savior archetype? Finding the REAL desire of my primary narcissistic was paintufull but I feel peace now! 60 years of horrific things ends today. I hope!❤ Thanks!

At the end i agree. I went to a survival school where each morning we hiked the mountain and talked for 30 minutes or so. The rest of the day was learning but mostly silent. At night, stories around the fire. It was amazing

@simonamihai7188

6 ай бұрын

Sounds good. Where is that?

I’m sooo exhausted that even trying is like sludge

@Irisgomesjmjfaith

2 ай бұрын

I'm going through the same thing.

@scottzuccone3023

25 күн бұрын

Same

I've got sleep apnea I stop breathing 60 times an hour. My name is Richard, I watch you a lot. As well as others. Dr romani. You are all good, really good! 😊

I am not only drained by the internal battle of my ex is good/bad, but also the internal battle I am good/I am a bad person. I internalized his projection. It"s exhausting to pull myself out of the 'I am a really bad person' 24/7 😞

@TheRealVivia

12 күн бұрын

Yes, this.

When you talk about being quite at the end ❤ Before I realised I was with a narcissist (again 🙄) I kept telling him to shhhhhh and listen to the birdsong in the morning, or listen to the motorway noise in the evening. I was so sick of him always making a noise. Talking in circles. Your videos have helped me so much thank you 🙏 a thousand times. Because I didn’t heal from the 1st one I’ve been trapped for over 20 years in a shity cycle of self destruction. Thank you so much you’ve been my angel

In the land of misinformation, the only thing you can trust is what you can see and what you can touch. “Telling that you have worth is not enough, you have to go and experience it.”

He’s constantly asking me to forgive him! It’s crazy. Like every single day “I need more patience from you. Please forgive me.” And simultaneously blaming me for everything he does wrong.

I have recently found you and your videos. It’s helped me validate what I’ve been through in a 23 year marriage and how to heal and recover. I’m attempting my third time in leaving this relationship and with your help I feel able to do this successfully physically and emotionally. Big thank you! - Robin

@delicatevenusflytrap9091

6 ай бұрын

You got this! Try to remind yourself past behaviour is indicative of future behaviour and that is why you need out. It took me 31 yrs… it feels so good to be free. Get your support system in place asap 🌸

@springBloomsinAwe

6 ай бұрын

Also don't miss out on Dr Rarmani. She is brilliant

@mmmmarada

6 ай бұрын

I am in the middle of the separation process. It is important that you have copies of all the paperwork that shows the value of marital assets and make sure you bring everything of value with you when you leave. If not, if you need to come back for the rest of your stuff, the important stuff will already have been stolen - this includes your important paperwork. I know this from experience. If you can prove cheating or anything that grants you advantage in divorce proceedings, gather evidence quietly and safely. You will need a lot more money for the divorce process than people divorcing non-narcissists, so be sure to squirrel away everything you can in a separate, secret account. But don't stay if you feel you are in danger, just get out! Also it really helps to fain cooperation and complicity with the narcissist and not get his suspicions up. I wish you all the luck with this process, and your happiness and peace of mind back. This process of getting free is brutal, but the alternative is a slow soul death.

@jeaniepiper6740

6 ай бұрын

I finally left my 35 year marriage. Within a few months after our divorce was final he was living with a young Asian woman buying her a new Mercedes. Nothing against either of those… just showed me I gave all my love and energy to someone who could never return it. He didn’t cry about losing me… just moved on to a new supply. Hope this helps to give you strength!

@SunnyDays70s

3 ай бұрын

Amazing! Strengthen your SELF and never look back!

Thank you so much. You've helped me spot a real life psychopath aswell and I'm eternally greatful. I've left a huge friend group and moved on. They're evil.

@steveriedl3570

4 ай бұрын

You are gonna be yourself again, I am rooting for you.

Yes, my mother had the worst intentions for me, and I realized I accomplished all she wished and said. It was an attack on my feminity, not wishing me to grow, to have success. I 've been so silly to have fallen for this, thzt it's unbelievable. Behaving in a strange way, how do I stop? I loved her very much. She lived abroad and always was hungry after her. I would of done anything for her

@TX-xq6dx

6 ай бұрын

I understand completely. ❤

I can't stop laughing, Richard.. hilarious. " that's why the aliens won't help."

I think when you break free from a narcissist it’s similar to being imprisoned,as you now have this freedom and you’re wary of going out on your own cos you been damaged mentally. You will slowly discover yourself and get new friends who encourage you and don’t discourage and put you down ,it’s a new beginning and just take baby steps because you need to get to know your true self and not the person the narcissist painted you as.

The snakes made me think of Ephesians 6:12 ...and that moment of beautiful silence made me think of Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." 😌🙏 BTW Stella sounds amazing 💪💞

Yeeeesss....immune system, weight gain, no Energy, allergies and skin problems...sinus issues, bronchitis. It's been a little over a year. I'm still fighting.

I absolutly agree with your outlook. I am going through this battle right now!! It takes time. You need to be very self aware. The good is starting to stamp out the evil ... for me. Been working on it for about 5 months now. Patience my friends!

I was under so much stress due to my husband's jealous rages (whom I later realized was a narcissist) I believe it caused me to become chronically ill. I was finally diagnosed with systemic lupus. I wish I wasn't so afraid of his threats or believed his narrative about myself and took my baby and got the heck out of dodge but I was too scared. The emotional abuse was dialed up to 100 after my mom died and I had no one to turn to to get away.

Two years no contact. I still can’t get him out of my soul. What did I go though. I’m so frustrated. I wake up crying because he is the first thing that comes to my mind. I don’t want to wake up anymore. I done the hard work. I blocked him why can I not get it out of my soul. I can’t get pass it.

@Emily-wy8fn

4 ай бұрын

Praying for you❤

@Miss5852-lotta

3 ай бұрын

You have to realize that you're under a spell. His wicked spirit still tortures you. You have to cut all your thougts and questions about this person off, because they cause that there's still that connection that bonds you. Try to understand that this person is not a normal human being with a loving soul, conscience or any kind of morality. And you should pray to the Lord to set you free and make you see beyond the illusion of this person.

@scottzuccone3023

25 күн бұрын

Jesus Christ

@Miss5852-lotta

24 күн бұрын

Patty are you better now? I know it's so hard to get out of this evil cycle..

@margaritagomez3490

23 күн бұрын

I never even slept during with him and I’m in this situation. I know he’s not good for me”. I know I’m not the only one in his life, he’s a full blown player: or should I say he has a lot of supply: but it still hurts. Hoping you will see that sweet charming guy you met in the beginning that don’t exist 😮

Your explanation of the 2snakes, the split that I experience now really makes sense now. I am clear that what my ex husband did was wrong and immoral. Mean spirited, and his intentions are/were for me to fail and feel like shit about myself. He is a fake person with these ideas that he is good, honest, and kind. He's not. He's sick and I am working to get him our of my head and my life. I think I am more conscious now.

Oh Richard. You have helped me so much. I’m am truly grateful to you from the bottom of my heart to the top. I would love to be sitting at a campfire with you. What an enjoyable experience that would be! I’m glad you are taking care of your sleep apnea because we need you to live for a very many more years my friend. Take care.

They just lie and justify violence antisocial behaviour unfaithfulness And verbal abuse and on and on and until you decide to not accept bad treatment from anyone even siblings parents friends nothing will change. Once you decide to treat yourself as the valuable person you are and have self respect and love for yourself things will change. Getting boundaries and what is acceptable and unacceptable is vital for recovery. Love your talks RICHARD

My parental instructions has infiltrated my mind and my relationships and the last one was damaging because he was just as dysfunctional…but worse with the gas lighting , the voices continue in my mind and my behaviour.The flashbacks and the abuse was horrible and I can’t break free. At times blaming myself for the destruction I caused by my reactions to the abuse. Crazy making stuff.

Omg 😂 'I am a mature responsible adult' .. with a good sense of humor.. thanks for the info as usual Richard! I actually had been wondering why it was hard to shake the 'voices' in my head so to speak lately too.. been feeling 90% free from the influence of how the narcissistic abuse tainted my life, but was wondering why it was difficult to fully expell all of it.. our minds are amazing things.. training our brains is exhausting but so interesting how we can regulate so many aspects of our mental and emotional health. Have a great one, thanks again 😊

@tomsmith6052

6 ай бұрын

kind of like the vampire leaving a piece of it's self for the ability to haunt or worse, come back or to have some effect that might be active. I need to talk to richard about some mistakes that are always over looked. I just don't like computers and all the internet bs. but maybe I might make contact w/richard, that often a persons assessment of narcissism could actually be dealing w/a psychopath because the checklist is almost the same. so i know this sounds crazy, but if your supposed narcissist is has very large physical qualities then you are dealing w/psychopathy. I made this discovery and some medical dictionaries do point to the heavy set to be more prone to psychopathy. that's why I need to talk to richard. 95 percent of these videos are over looking the psychopath to be a narcissist.

@FancyTruth1

5 ай бұрын

Trust Jesus and he will heal you. ❤

How you simplify such a soul destroying situation is profound and put in terminology I myself understand so thankyou .your sence of humour is appreciated. .

I am currently having that exact inner battle between my snakes as you’ve described, the more triggered I get the more I trauma bond! I’m on very high alert alright! And in very dark waves…

Know, define, your moral compas and NO compromise with close relationships. 😮 😊 from day one no excuses

That thing about being in silence with others is so true. Stop talking. I used to go to this group therapies that also required a whole group to take a hiking trip every month - a proper whole day hiking in the alps, everyone had to attend. On the way up we were also required to walk in silence. It worked really well! Those hikes were more therapeutic than therapy session itself I’d say.

Frederick, Frederick Nietzsche. For no reason :) Anyway Mr Grannon, I want to thank you and wish you a Merry Christmas. But yeah, still here. Damn you Frederick. All the best to everyone here and good luck.

I cannot sleep!

First I wana say thank you so much to Richard for pointing out that the common dilemma to square away after having dealt with a narcissist is a moral and not a psychological one. So simple, yet easily overlooked and helped me put things into perspective. I think part of what gets us stuck with those two internal snakes is that even though we know what was done to us was wrong, we realize that we were conned by a child in many ways. Second, I’ve listened to so many channels and speakers on Narcissism and I have to say, Richard brings something incredibly unique to the table. Most speakers come solely from the victim’s perspective and can only relay a list of symptoms (either because they themselves were a victim or they’re a clinician who’s listened to countless hours from their patients who were also victims; since it’s almost never the case that the narcissist seeks therapy). They say nothing to the effect of etiology, nor accountability. Then you have the other end of the spectrum, such as Vaknin, who has incredibly enlightening content, but because he himself is a Malignant-Narcissist-Borderline, you get very little information on how to take accountability as the victim. I have listened to about 100 of Vaknin’s 1,000-video library and a part of me feels like he’s trying to leave his mark in academia, not necessarily help victims find peace (quite the contrary). [By the way, I sincerely commend Richard for having the courage to collaborate with Vaknin; that was brave of you.] Then you have Richard, who covers symptoms, psychology, philosophy, spirituality, etiology, taking accountability, healing… even a little humor here and there to lighten the mood from such a heavy topic. I am incredibly grateful for your content and contribution. You seem to really understand, not least because of what you’ve experienced firsthand, but also because you pull together the objective etiology with the practical humanitarian aspect of acknowledging and moving forward (aka learning, something the narcissist can’t do and most victims fail to do from incomplete advice on other channels). ❤ Thank you Richard!

@theoriginal7727

6 ай бұрын

Beautiful review, agree with all of this! Especially the bravery of his collaboration. I might consider it full Hardy, especially in retrospect… I am very leery of these people who are claiming to be “self-aware, narcissist, or psychopaths, etc. Everything that I’ve seen of these disorders, even the borderline in histrionics are so evil, and absolutely cannot have the reality of their diagnosis, exposed, or explained, nor acknowledged in the light of day. But I love the philosophical approach, Richard is a bit of a renaissance man and brings a wonderful perspectives, Two other people that I really love are Narc-Con, another English lady, and uses much more of the language of spirituality, but also deep psychology, and it is a fellow survivor. Another one is Bartel skater. She is full on yes, this is a battle of good and evil, narcs and false self are Demon infested, whether by choice or circumstance. Doesn’t matter! And ultimately, they don’t have any power over us, unless we give it to them.

@carmenl163

6 ай бұрын

As you seem to have really thought this through, I wonder what you make of the fact that Richard isn't able to have a meaningful, loving, caring and committed romantic relationship. Time and again, he has fallen for narcissistic or otherwise emotionally unstable or - unavailable women. He has done therapy with three different therapists, seeing each one of them every week. And still, he keeps making the same mistakes again. To me, that's a clear signal that he doesn't fully understand. What's the value of having all this knowledge and not being able to apply it? I'd love to know your thoughts on this matter.

@jazzminerose

6 ай бұрын

@@carmenl163 I don’t know a great deal about Richard’s personal life, but to that I would say a few things: 1. A struggle to implement does not necessarily imply a struggle to understand. For example, if you’ve watched Sam Vaknin’s channel, he understands the disorder inside and out first-hand but also admits that someone with this disorder is incapable of learning and therefore, changing, which he cannot do. 2. The value is in the struggle, something all too real and familiar to other “victims.” In some ways, someone who’s been divorced 6 times can offer a greater array and abundance of marriage advice than someone who was “successful” on the first try. Perhaps the person only married once was more tolerant and not necessarily happier. I appreciate Richard’s perspective because he was the first I came across that pointed out where he, as the “victim,” went wrong. He understands that it is something in himself that attracted that nonsense and until that’s healed, the pattern will continue. Most channels place blame solely on the narcissist, which in my opinion, is entirely counterproductive in helping the other party take accountability. Relationships are a play of energies; they are not one-sided. Healing is a process and even if someone thinks they’re fully healed, could get triggered down the road, because we’re human after all.

@carmenl163

6 ай бұрын

@@jazzminerose Thank you for your answer. I appreciate it.

I have apnea and insomnia and never sleep more than four hours. I weigh 155 pounds, exercise and play football, and eat as clean as can be. At my wits end

I recieved an epiphany from above due to not only the suffering they put onto me, but a much neededed criticism, I look back upon my self criticism and learn about my weak points in whatever it is.

So glad to see you are doing so well Richard! You are back on top form - I love this style of videos which you had done more in your early years. Thanks to you and Stella!

Thanks! I needed that. It is not right to take advantage of another human being.

I have been around narcissists since birth with family, the church pastor and relationships. I had no idea what a narcissist was until about a year ago. The last relationship ended 9 months ago and I am always looking for information so I don't get into that again. I'm currently single and I plan to stay that way for a while.

I just discovered this very thing you speak of. The part that makes sense is one abused by narc does continue based on his intention I am carrying in my mind Great way to express this phenomenon

First off, I love the impression of the chronic narcissist looking for supply 😂. I am 1.5 years out from leaving my narc with only necessary communication, TRO and all. I just got diagnosed with lupus. I realized that the same amount of care and attention that I used to put forward towards his comfort, happiness, well-being, and just not pissing him off, is now going towards preparation for hypothetical situations. I've been wasting time and energy thinking of how I'm going to react in certain situations or conversations. It was causing stress that I didn't realize! This video has been so valuable.

@YAHAYAH_369

6 ай бұрын

You Are Not Alone, Beautiful One 🌞🌈

@dsoule4902

6 ай бұрын

Yeah. They suck.

VERY innteresting video-- kept my attention for over 40 minutes before I felt compelled to tap out this comment! Of course, you constantly reminding me of American actor Keifer Sutherland made it difficult for me to focus MORE on your WORDS than on your APPEARANCE 😶

Happy holidays to you and I am so glad to see you doing this for yourself. No more abuse, only good things. We do need to stop dancing with the devil. And when the whispers (the narc) in our head start we need to stay strong and piss on the grave of the attempt to raise into power again as our bad habit. Snore NO more. 🐉

Bingo! I believe in mental clarity. I believe in following Ones Moral Compass. Like a Shining Light. Good Job Richard.

Great seminar in London last Sunday. Really enjoyed it, met some lovely people and learnt loads. Thanks Richard and the other attendees 😊

Just had a thought while watching this - If you've spent anytime protecting other people from a monster, then at some point that turns into protecting the monster. I think that creates some of that dissonance too when trying to detach

@ivylin8103

5 күн бұрын

so true. and not your self forgetting yourself.

Yes no childhood evil. All narcissist. All the time fighting him over right and wrong.

Amazing. 100% true what you say. I even heared the narcissistic voices in my head when I was on drugs after a sergery and I saw a strangers face in the mirror of the purpose you where talking about, this drive to hurt myself, to even jump out of the window. I was so afraid and my sorrounding was trying to put a stigma in me, that I was tho one to be insane. I needed to go through hell to get rid of all the effects my narcissistic mother and lovers were putting on me and still struggle with beeing my true self. I really adore listening to your explanations because they put my experience in words and it gives such a relief to know that all this mess and madness makes somehow sense. It really helps. Thank you

This video is everything I’ve finally come to understand through many years of many painful experiences. This has brought me a sense of validation and peace. Incredible. Thankyou… :)

Best truths I've ever heard. Free yourself, and the rest will follow. I worked through this with my therapist, and I toiled the battle within until I figured out what you've stated. You are 💯 spot on. Thank you, Richard 🙌

This is so good and makes a lot of sense to me. I am going through this now. Deciding for myself - is no easy task.

I am so blessed to have found you my friend, you're so f'n smart. I've been at this work for a long long time now, I have been doing some of these exact internal workings naturally on my own but your insights have made it make more sense. Thank you. I am indeed getting there.

The best video I’ve seen. Well done Richard, Thankyou :)

That is completely what happened with my situation 😕 I manifested his negative and diabolical intentions!

Very interesting vid. I suppose also its about accepting and loving yourself more than ever before so you dont accept abuse and harmful behaviour from anyone in your life.

This is the best information I have had on the subject.

❤thank you so much! I really needed to hear I need to set my own moral values. I have been told so many times I am wrong, bad, evil that I was struggling to find back my own rules.

Here to say what a fantastic fantastic use of the word, Jihad 🔥 may God guide you and bless you always!

I loved the way you shut down that “darling” sht… that is exactly the word Nex used on me to draw me into his web. Thanks for beautiful insights, as usual 🙏🏼

It is not only the evil taker; it IS THE EVIL GIVER THAT MUST BE QUESTIONED TOO

Brilliant Richard . Top class approach concerning the spiritual approach . I can concur.

This channel is an absolute life line for me. He has a wonderful talent for metaphor that really, really sinks in. I hope he knew how much good he is doing.

I didn’t realize how much he called me a “stupid b****” until he was gone and I found myself saying to myself in my head over everything I did wrong in his opinion that was still mine. We’ve been separated in different households for good almost a year now and it’s been since June this year that I let him in my bed. He’s the only one I’ve been with for 16 years. Every time I say that to myself now I am able to stop myself and tell myself that that’s not true. I just figured it out about a month ago.

@FancyTruth1

5 ай бұрын

When your mind continues ask Jesus to keep you in the here and now and the thoughts will stop ❤

Thank you for the insights into this Richard. I find the conversations my coworkers have often dance on the fine edge of what I think is acceptable and not. Working in an open, often loud workplace I can hear others talking. Often foul language, condescending words and banter. When it’s direct to me, I stop and consider the response to indicate I’m truly listening. Sometimes I laugh and go along with the flow lightheartedly. I would say half the time I am annoyed and keep focusing on my work and not respond.

You are simply the best! Thank you very much for being so wise and for sharing and for being so generous. Regards from Brazil

I been praying for you ❤

This was so great soooo freaking helpful and SANE!!! Thank you Sir Richard

Absolutely brilliant video. And, if you need to laugh, you're in the right place here!!! I feel so much better!😅

You keep it incredibly real and so far have been the only one that explains it the way way I’ve been feeling it. As far as the line between science and evil. The science and reasons don’t matter as much as the morality behind it. Empathy isn’t enough. Morality either is there or it isn’t. That’s what needs to be remembered

I feel you truly understand it. I need your help.

Go Stella!! Richard,.. 🥂congrats, what 2 fantastic people 💕

Thanks, Richard! As always- 'Great Content!' Blessings to you!

Thank you Richard xxx

Best info I’ve heard in ages Richard especially the zone out of all that humanity has …created (chaos)& connect with peace etc 😊

This is so good . And so true and such a great explanation to move people into the right actions

When I think about them I do mistakes lol hate that way of thinking they went after my money supply. Warped my mind to a bitter self that they are. I was get over it whatever I was stilled damaged still am. God bless everyone stay strong.

You have no idea how right you are about somatic dissonance. I didn’t know I was so stressed out. I have gained like 30lbs, now have allergies. Also my eczema has flared to the point there is chunks of skin missing on mt feet, hands and now it’s starting in my face- the eczema started at the time of discard.