Such a generous act for Dawn to open her home. I have a family member who hoards and Dawn’s story gives me a perspective that allows me be more compassionate toward them.

@Ann963

10 ай бұрын

❤🙏

Thank you for posting this. It's really important for others to understand how this works: Hoarding is 100% Emotional and Psychological. Its not about clearing out physical items, its about a VALID EMOTIONAL TRAUMA that has been dismissed. Hoarders feel unseen, unheard, and dismissed by others. Loss of status, loss of job, and no one to take care of them. It takes YEARS of emotional abuse to get into a place of hoarding. It doesn't just happen overnight. Hoarding is a sign of emotional neglect and the hoarder is the victim of the trauma. Hoarders are further victimized by being made to feel ashamed of their hoarding, further isolating and insulting the hoarder. Its literally kicking someone when they're down emotionally. Hoarders often feel unsafe because the past trauma is residual and still resonating within them. And hoarders often feel that life has no meaning or purpose because its lost all of its luster and shine, due to the depression and loneliness. Use empathy and compassion when dealing with a hoarder. They're often some of the strongest minds who have fallen so very far. All they want is someone to be compassionate and understanding.

@r8chlletters

11 ай бұрын

Don’t buy it. These are people who are extremely rigid and actually seek attention and want everyone to witness their suffering. They are total narcissistic victims of their own making. The people who suffer most are those who foolishly attempt to “help” the hoarder. I have no compassion for hoarders and know more than one! I have total compassion for family and friends of hoarders because there is absolutely nothing they can do about the conditions their loved one has insisted on living with and who are usually making it worse by the day. Don’t let these willful people off the hook-the one thing they need to do is be confronted by a professional not given every comfort. Take responsibility and get down off the cross you mailed yourself to. Life is short. Be responsible. Everyone has trauma. Everyone.

@codyrap95

11 ай бұрын

​@@r8chlletterspeople like you are the reason hoarders (and a lot of mentally ill people) are where they are. I was raised (and traumatized) by a narcissistic father and in-between my griefing and processing my trauma I still try to understand him and even be empathic when I have the resources to do so. Just judging and labeling people doesn't help anyone

@kg6801

10 ай бұрын

​@@r8chllettersYou know "more than one" yet can confidently assert that millions of people are this myopic description that you've given? Okay, vent your spleen about how awful your experiences were with the ones you know, but why go on to adamantly claim that "these people are" all the crap that you said that's so much assumption? Whether you accept it or not, hoarding disorder is a legitimate and complex psychiatric disorder that can be genetic and involves cognitive impairments that people can't just willingly snap out of to stop it impacting others and themselves. For a percentage of people part of the illness itself can be a partial or complete lack of insight that they have a problem, that's a brain function issue, not willfullness. Just as inaccurate is that "these people actually seek attention and want everyone to witness their suffering, and that they are total narcissistic victims of their own making". Utter bs, so many people hide their situation and are afraid to get help because of shame and attitudes such as your comment. Yes, many people with hoarding disorder or related issues can also have other disorders and traits just like the rest of the population, including narcissism, but a blanket statement that hoarders are narcissistic and seek attention and want witnesses is completely incorrect. It's also incorrect that there's nothing that family or friends or can do. There is help and there are treatments that can be effective, and harm reduction strategies that can be tried even where insight is poor. It's an illness, there's no hook someone needs to be let off. Confrontation is also one of the worst ways to go about it. Not given any comfort? Again, mental illness. You can't punish, shun, shame or bully someone out of being mentally ill and having executive function problems. It's not a personal failing, it's literally processing dysfunctions in the way a person's brain works. Would you say these things about someone with schizophrenia, or something like autism or epilepsy? Would you try and badger someone out of having dementia symptoms because they were behaving badly? Or perhaps we shouldn't "buy into" those either? "Take responsibility and get down off the cross you nailed yourself to", because someone expresses insight and empathy for something you don't understand? What a disgusting thing to say. And no, not everyone has trauma or to the same degree of experience or has the same responses as other people. I don't expect any of this to matter to you, it's here so that an opinion on some people isn't left as standing as if it's absolute fact about an entire group of people.

@Miss-320

10 ай бұрын

@@r8chllettersthank you saying and having the words to express what I am so fed up of I can’t even find the words anymore. I couldn’t agree more and you have it nailed. Just watch a couple seasons of Hoarders and you’ll see how they treat their kids like absolute shit and their attitudes are extremely narcissistic. It was sobering for me watching that show to finally “get it.” I for one have close to no relationship anymore with my parent and it’s broken my heart. It is nothing but rage and insults over absolute garbage. Meanwhile I watch other mothers sob how much they love and appreciate their children. Im my personal opinion if this was pre-1960 she would very well be committed since she doesn’t want to admit she has a serious safety and serious mental problem.

@thelivingroom6371

7 ай бұрын

You nailed it! Most people, even if they have good intentions, do NOT have the slightest idea of what a hoarder went through in his earlier life. It is really a problem from within, to begin with. And you are so damn right when you mentioned about 'emotional trauma'. Thank you for sharing your insightful knowledge.

My Mom was a hoarder and became so angry and dangerously unclean. But if we talked about it she stopped communication. Very heartbreaking.

@cathygoltsoff9615

Жыл бұрын

My friend is the same way. If you mention it she will stop talking. She is now in big trouble with animals. She has excuses and blames others. This is so sad.

@alankuntz6494

11 ай бұрын

Keep the faith..Tough Love.Remind her that she's a slob and to stop it. haha

@dogsareawomansbestfriend

8 ай бұрын

Separated husband is the same.

@TheSakufighter

8 ай бұрын

@@cathygoltsoff9615yup. My brother had a cat just over 4 years that was dying from terrible hygiene and being over fed. Saddest shit ever and he was saying he got the cat that way with dingleberries and all the health problems. Just have to clean clean clean and be patient.

@user-tq5dy7wo1y

Ай бұрын

I'm sorry that you had to go through that ❤

I had a neighbor who was a hoarder. She was a medical tech who made good money, but she blew it all hauling home stuff. She justified her purchases because they were from thrift stores, flea markets and yard sales. There were sofas stacked on top of each other in the bedroom. You could not see 25 feet from the front door to the window in the living room. This was a one bedroom apartment. It was really sad.

My late sister had been renting out her lower level. She passed away suddenly and he has made the place so groos i cant even descrive it. He made a path for me to see it. The wrotten crap was as high as 7 feet. I was in shock to say the least. Unfortunately, I feel bad for him but at the same time it makes me angry. I called the fire marshall and they went to talk to him. He is slowly clearing items out. I have empathy for him and feel bad for him however he hasn't paid any rent since 2021. I have asked him to leave in 2-3 months as the house is now an estate.

hoarders are building a safe wall around themselves and a world of their own. I know because I was a hoarder as a child. When I moved out of my childhood home I had my own private space and didnt need to build it with stuff anymore.

@thelivingroom6371

7 ай бұрын

So glad that you found your own private space and that you feel safe in it! God bless you!!

@youparejo

10 күн бұрын

May i ask when did you leave your childhood house ? I have the same problem and still live at home...

My cousin is a hoarder,and she keeps buying new things,you can’t move around in her house, her garage is a disaster, her house is probably not more than 700sq feet and it’s packed, she’s a coupon compulsive shopper, and she believes that she’s stockpiling for the end times.

@E-Moose57

11 ай бұрын

😊😊😊😊

@vmobile890

9 ай бұрын

I’m project hoarder sold some items from cluttered big shed $500. Now gathering things for ebay will list at great discount buyer pays shipping .

Isolation and stressful jobs always cause piles to accumulate. SAD also makes things harder to let go during the cold season. Once spring hits its like the mind can think clearer and it's easier to let go and problem solve.

My mom has this issue and honestly I have lost empathy for it. When I was a kid I was never allowed to have friends over because the house was "messy" but I would often spend hours cleaning rooms to have it destroyed within a week so got fed up. I would also get told off for throwing stuff away, even stuff like plastic bags, containers from everything and egg cartons, junk she said is reusable. I am all for sustainability and not wasting but its another level. Obviously I am not living with her anymore but its still an issue and other family members are concerned. I thought since she retired she would take care of it like she promised but theres been no improvement and she bought a bigger house which I think only enables it. The garage is full to the brim with stuff including broken furniture she picks up off the curb to transform and put idk where since the house is full. I think she is a level 3 but becoming a 4 since there is so much clutter in rooms it is impossible to clean them. Dust and grime are becoming huge issues. Several family members have stepped in over the years to help organize but our time is wasted as its back to square one in a few months. She gets super defensive, refuses to throw anything away and told them they did not organize well so she could not find anything. I decided to no longer care or try to help at this point, I ignore it now and refuse to even help clean until the clutter is taken care of.

@janita851

4 ай бұрын

Hey i have the same issues with my mom, grew up just likd you. She also keeps empty trash containers like toothpaste tubes for no sane reason. If you want to talk i am here.

@dsoul1305

3 ай бұрын

It's a mental disorder, you can't focus on the clutter, the symptom, to adjust the problem. The mom needs professional help, family support is good, but you guys are not therapists, you can just expect people to treat deep depression on their own, as it's idealistic to treat your mom as someone capable of handling her deep disorder on her own. All you can try is to make an agreement of the mom seeing a therapist, even in the house or she will have to face the autorithies since every hoarder house is a fire hazard. It's the help you can provide.

One thing hoarders never think of is how their children or other family members are going to have to deal with their mess when the hoarder dies. They are in denial of the fact that we all die and then all our stuff is thrown away. Extreme hoarders are literally building walls around themselves to protect themselves from the outside world. It is fear based and can only be tackled by mental health professionals working with them.

@christopherleubner6633

28 күн бұрын

Been through this and it's horrible. Heaps of valuable stuff mixed with literal trash. Watching family simply fighting over stuff they think they can sell is gut wrenching 😢

@celesteshenas2155

12 күн бұрын

It all went into 2dozen large construction trash bins. We could have thrown away the original Magna Carta and not known. The volume of stuff was just too vast to sort through. Lesson learned. You can imagine what the cost of those bins were.

My neighbour is a hoarder. She's literally next door. we live in rent studios, share the terrace. We are just an opposite. I love clean environment. so, I clean everyday. she's been always aggresive toward me and really make everything about her. She always complained to the landlord accusing me make her uncomfortable. I never talk to her nor greet her, never complained about her but she always point her finger on me doing this and that to her which actually her makr things up. Its going to be 4 years next month, Im in the point where I seriously plan to move out for my own mental health since the landlord has done nothing with her hoarding and her being aggresive toward me all the time.

@valerieannrumpf4151

9 ай бұрын

You might want to look in to the housing laws in your area regarding what rights and responsibilities that both landlords and tenants have when it comes to an issue like this.

@verenamaharajah6082

Ай бұрын

Further proof that this behaviour is a mental/emotional health problem.

Trauma and attachment. It''s that simple.

Loneliness

That's very clever of Dawn to create scenrios using Barbie dolls. I'm sure there is a why to monitize on that.

It could be more reliable than people. ALWAYS THERE.

Bless her heart. I know exactly where she’s coming from

My mom hoarded, a cousin died in his hoard. I toss stuff every day and I hate to buy things. Mess makes me uncomfortable. Tina, Al's wife

@vonn2221

10 ай бұрын

Children of hoarder have trauma with stuff, we always try tidying stuff, but sometimes if we dont have organize skill then we will have half-part tidy and half-part mess Messy place trigger our trauma and discomfort and maybe shame I do recommend read book Marie Kondo, it's really help me throw stuff Some stuff is precious being kept and some that not, give away Empty space like minimalistic idea is impossible and feel too cold and have no personality

99% of people watching this video are in the middle of cleaning their room right now and procrastinating lol. And also looking for something to justify themselves to not throw away stuff

@vmobile890

10 ай бұрын

I’m not cleaning my room i’m watching this video 🤣 . I’m 3/4 hoarder heavy clutter for many years . many boxes of stuff project items and hobbies . Decided to catalog everything in categories and match on ebay to locate a seller local to sell to for fraction of what’s on ebay . I feel guilty to java a vacation and get away progress slow . Don’t feel i’m a hoarder but have discomfort . Ideal is to decrease about 150 to 200 boxes of stuff in 2 sheds and enclosed patio room .

I wonder if donating items to charity is a solution for some of these people. Or with documents, perhaps scanning them and saving them to a computer instead of paper form might work.

@vmobile890

10 ай бұрын

Photos on phone or tablet then to several micro SD . Also to thumb drive to take to Walmart and make a photo album .

Brave and generous woman to relate her experience with others in such a public way. 💜

The 'organising' excuse is exactly that, its just another form of denial and refusal to accept the hoarding is a problem. A person whose house is utterly dysfunctional does not need an organiser, all this is just moving the hoard about and the problem continues. Its like an alcoholic saying I just need to have a couple of drinks less each day , yeah good luck with that.

Aww shidd first lol mpls up next! ❤️ti

I have an interesting question. Do you think that minimalism is the opposite of hoarding..or is a backlash of a sort to the idea of hoarding, because they tell themselves they dont want to be like that??

I was a child of hoarders, it’s traumatizing. Hoarders are extremely selfish! I have no compassion for this mental illness!

My sister had died in a home from a hoarder. There was hardly any room to bring in equipment. Lights were kept off so Firemen/Policemen wouldn't see the disaster and make a report.

My parents did this while I was in the hospital for a month. My mother threw away tons of my artwork and clothes. Since then I don’t like to leave my house because I don’t know where anything is because what was kept was thrown in totes (unmarked). Since then I haven’t enjoyed life. My passion to create art I’ve Lost that. It was traumatic and my stuff was replaced with items I don’t even like in my home.

@irishkazolotse

4 ай бұрын

I hear you! I have lots of unorganized objects, my husband comes from a family of horders, he projects his pain on me and wants to throw away my "precious" belongings! We argue a lot about him only touching/cleaning out his belongings only...

@dsoul1305

3 ай бұрын

Contact a therapist and personal organizer. Life doesn't need to be suffering.

@t4t359

25 күн бұрын

How old are you? Maybe it's time you get out of your parents' house.

You can just tell that Joe is such a nice person. ❤

You lose it all when you die...😢

God bless her

Hiring a professional organiser? Don't think that's what she needed.

@dsoul1305

3 ай бұрын

Relearning ou learning organizing skills is helpful, even that they are not a therapist. The clutter exists, even that is a symptom, still needs to be adressed and dealt with.

Sorting my clutter clean home many piles sorting categorizing donations and many e bay items not worth listing for me under $25 value . Will search and find local ebay seller for free. Items over $75 value list myself or sell to local ebay seller for big discount . Listed items in clutter shed SOLD last week $560.00 cash . Progress continues

I hoard happiness.🎉

Good useful info. Thank you Dawn *virtual hug*

I wonder is there a case that a hoarder parents make their child myshophobia/OCD? (Sorry for my bad english)

@MadisonEstes

10 ай бұрын

It's me lol. I'm the opposite of my mom, uncle and grandpa who all have histories of hoarding. I want to purge stuff all the time. I have trouble focusing or enjoying myself if there are chores to be done. Even taking a break from cleaning when I really get into it stresses me out because I want to keep going until I'm done. I'm pretty sure I'm developing OCD around objects and cleaning.

@salmaevariza5954

10 ай бұрын

@@MadisonEstes ahhh me too. My mom and her family (my grandparent, uncles, aunts) have histories of hoarding too. Now i can't stop cleaning and organizing even when people say my place is clean. That's why i wonder if that case is possible.

So sad!🎉

It took grandma 30 years to finally stop hoarding, and only because she was forced to, when she lost her house

The world doesn't really care eho she is and who she was untill this interview.

Offer help out their,,instead of judging..o but it cost money lol

That lady isn't really that bad

Maybe people have financial problems!

That’s not hoarding. I could fit all that into a couple totes. Pouring the tote out and not putting it back is just lazy.

How will the world know she was there (here on earth)? That sounds self absorbed.

@aking3624

Жыл бұрын

When a person has been severely traumatized, they have little sense of self or confidence. The pain is too great.

@nataliebutler

11 ай бұрын

A lot of people fear not existing. It's possibly a coping mechanism for fear of death.

@celesteshenas2155

12 күн бұрын

Our presence here does not matter when we’re gone. The less we leave the better. See Swedish death Cleansing rituals.

does that woman with the voice fry even care?

Why does tje world have to cate about who she was. Especially with all that garbage!

There isn’t a good excuse to become like this-and the people who do this are really just angry, looking to be victims and are attention seeking. The people they ultimately hurt is everyone witnessing their needless narcissistic behavior. These are rigid and entrenched people who refuse to allow problems to be solved as their pain is their anchor in life.

@1970joedub

11 ай бұрын

Where did you get your medical degree?

@verenas3536

10 ай бұрын

Ignore the "legitimate mental illness".... no, its jist a character flaw.

@kg6801

10 ай бұрын

Why do you push your embittered opinion as if it's fact? It's 2023, and you've got access to a wealth of information.

@r8chlletters

10 ай бұрын

@@kg6801 firsthand experience. Many people dealing with a hoarder in their midst work very hard to do the right thing and think they have failed when ultimately their relationship is in tatters and the hoarder keeps insisting on doing what they do. It’s not a failure on the part of the people around the hoarder, trying to help an obvious out of control problem. Someone needs to speak up on their behalf, something really missing in these shows. If you talk to anyone in the mental health profession adding hoarding to the DSM was not unanimous at all. It had been refused for many years for a reason. These people suffer from NPD usually with some OCD features but ultimately they are just very selfish, sado-masochistic people. Their living conditions are a rant against everyone and everything that didn’t go right for them. They are blaming, selfish and rigid people bent on harming everyone and often completely innocent people (elderly parents or small children) and animals. It’s disgusting and we need to call it out honestly for what it is. If you have a hoarder in your family best just remove yourself. Rescue anyone under their control including any animals (animal control will be glad to take them away). If you have power of attorney move them out to a very small apartment or a living facility where they cannot create a sizeable problem any more. Enough said.

@vmobile890

10 ай бұрын

I have many project items duplicate camping supplies electrical supplies vintage electronic games and the list goes on to about 150 small home depot boxes . Clutter but clean home. Happy retired active have a extremely neat clean . But have too much clutter in my home . Nobody visits me because I visit them or not a entraining person like we see on TV people showing off their home on youtube or TickTock . Might do that in a few weeks there is a light brown bear always in the parking lot or the yards at my vacation home . I can take videos . Often see them with cubs when i’m on the deck looming at the snow covered mountains .

It is a choice and it is something to be ashamed of.Don't play patty cakes with these fruit cakes. haha

I’m reluctant to buy anything ! Only get rid of things

So nothing but tell them you’re here to help? That’s zero.

My father would save a bucket of dog poop and try to convince you it was important ! How sad !

A saw a farmer today and he was hoarding sheep. There was like 500 of them. Why does he need so many sheep? Isn't 1 or 2 enough?