I have always thought that the middle of the road gay guys always get left out. Those of us that just work trying to make a home and life.

@gregap8282

Жыл бұрын

What do you mean? I'm curious

@markbarnwell942

Жыл бұрын

I will try to word this as carefully as possibly as to not offend a group of gay men. To help you understand I am a 63 yo gay man. Grew up in the 60s 70s and 80s. Obviously there was very little representation of gay life in my early years. What was there was the overly flaming men on tv and in movies that seemed nothing like me and that image and the way they were perceived was far from any way positive. I never wanted to wear dresses wear makeup act like girls etc. Wasn't obsessed with Judy, Barbra, Cher, Diana etc. On the other end of the spectrum there was in culture of the overly masculine leather men. The movie Cruising came out in 1980 I was 20. Went to see it and it scared the hell out of me. Media and popular culture represented a world so foreign to me. Either act like a girl or a drug addicted sex crazed leather muscle man. So like so many of my gay bros and sisters I went traditional and forged a hetro life. 22 years have now passed since I came out. I have a gay son in college a partner and all is good. Still there are few stories out there about the average gay man. Before I get beat up in the comments I fully recognize and support the spectrum of my community. Drag Queens stood up and said, we will not take this any more. SO FUCKING BRAVE. I have the life I have as a result of some of those brave men and their chosen pronouns. It rarely happens but I would love to see a movie or read a book about a postman and plumber. lol I hope this lets you into my mindset. Thanks for asking

@ngwailung3751

9 ай бұрын

I agree with you wholeheartedly.

@markbarnwell942

9 ай бұрын

thanks. i was trying to give voice to those of us who are just regular.@@ngwailung3751

@teemarie5478

8 ай бұрын

I think that they need to start normalizing regular gay people and stop pushing kids to transition. I have a gay daughter. I was shocked when I found out but I certainly didn’t judge because I know without a doubt this isn’t a fade. She isn’t that type of kid, she told me at 17 years old. Our entire family are totally accepting of her. I did make her understand that not every kid has a understanding family or community.

As a straight man, I had no idea that there could be issues between fem/masc gay men. Very eye opening and interesting podcast.

@xKarenWalkerx

4 ай бұрын

Most gay men are more feminine than masculine. Most of what makes men gay is the hormonal environment in utero is enough testosterone to make a man but not enough testosterone to make him attracted to women. The lower test theory makes sense because they also look different and tend to act effeminately, something hormones are responsible for. So really when they say gay they mean they are intrinsically different hormonally. Many people don't understand that it would translate into a totally different lifestyle. Not just sexuality. Everything is different than a straight male.

@andybrie5753

3 ай бұрын

Yes there is. I’m masc and I deal with that a lot. On dating apps and sometimes in public. On dating apps most guys want a fem guy. When I meet some guys in person and I’ve never let my looks get to me at all, some fem and slightly effeminate guys would talk to me as if I’m slow and I hate that.

@xandercrew6088

3 ай бұрын

I am a masc guy and only interact with other masc guys - just not a fan of femininity in men. I respect anyone’s ability to express their femininity but it’s personally just not something I enjoy in men. I’ve had issues though with fem guys who take offense that I have my preferences and in a way try to bully their way into acceptance, THAT is not ok imo -- the inclusivity has gotten into forced acceptance in a weird way

@user-zz3lm8nx9x

Ай бұрын

@@andybrie5753 Honestly,I feel those dudes who are into femboys are actually straight but couldn’t get any girls so they find an alternative ,it’s happens a lot in conservative and religious areas.They do it in secret because it’s easier to date oppressed femboys The most logical homosexual males attraction is masculine to masculine

I’m 51 and my partner is 72. We are both gay men. Been together 28 years in a relationship that at times has been ‘open’ with rules. We have both had health issues. Dave (who is 72) has 3 children but the relationship with them has totally broken down. We aren’t really ‘seen’ in the gay community because we don’t fit into the stereotypical gay types. I hope you can cover older gays in future issues like you have mentioned

Being gay is our own personal journey. We all have stories to tell, good, bad and in between. To survive and tell your story can make all the difference to the generations after us all. I was bullied at school, but survived. It made me who I am today. Strong, resilient and not afraid to be me. Thanks for sharing guys, love your work. All the best from Melbourne Australia

Shades of gray..such is life. I’m a 70 yr old straight lady who has a gay son so I’m interested in some of your topics. I adore u both.

Both of you need to be very proud of this podcast and channel. I am a 57 year old auto mechanic /restoration technician and my husband is 55 and is in fabrication. We are both masculine but can also be very camp at times. You should see the look on our clients faces when we introduce ourselves as partners to them! Always a look of shock but never any negativity so far. We are just ourselves! Keep up the great work with this adventure!

@Zane_Rhoades

Жыл бұрын

Hey DJ... I bet many of us who lead similar lives to you two have shocked many around us! 😆 Or at least raised an eyebrow😳. Hubby sold International Trucks and I sold lifting rigging (chains, cables, straps). Yet we still attend and support every Arts event we're able to here in Birmingham, Alabama, USA. After an introduction once, AND a pause, the person's response was, "No, really... where is your flower shop?" 🤣 I hope that You and Yours, just as Keegan and Joel - like Hubby and I - are proud to be "Happy Healthy Homos"!

i’m a gay 30 year old construction worker and just to make it through the workday I keep to myself and have developed quite a masculine fascade. It’s not really who I am tho, so it kills me a little bit inside and I constantly struggle with accepting myself even tho I’ve been out for a good 5 years at least. I’ve dated a lot of different types of gay men but I find myself criticizing feminine personalities cuz it reminds me of how I wish I could be that free and open in my work life. Life sucks then you die. 🖤

@DJWhovian

11 ай бұрын

Sounds like a tough environment to be in. Maybe one day you can move away from it or find somewhere else where you can be free all the time.

@xKarenWalkerx

4 ай бұрын

Why don't you try work in a more artistic field. I'm a masc gay guy but I love it and don't do it for a facade. I'm just naturally hyper masc. ironically, I have artistic tendencies but even still preferred business, bodybuilding and naturally most my friends are straight. If you're really fem deep down you should build a life that supports it not that denies it and looks down on others that are free about it. At the end of the day you are who are. You should celebrate yourself. If masc isn't you you should be who you were meant to be. Spin it around and find the sense in it. You can be fem if that's really you.

@jakeoutrider7644

4 ай бұрын

@@xKarenWalkerxYeah I’m not even sure who I am unfortunately, I feel like I’ll never know in some ways. Maybe if I move to a big city and change careers but that’s a huge leap. In the meantime I just keep to myself and my dating life doesn’t exist anymore

@BRAZEN_Muse

3 ай бұрын

@@jakeoutrider7644knowing who you are is not as simple as what work you enjoy doing or how you like to dress or behave. Those are just things pointing to an inner truth. I recommend trying a little bit of everything and seeing what sticks. Who says you cant be a flamboyant creative construction worker? Don’t let the culture dictate how you want to experience life.

@pjw1980

3 ай бұрын

Jake I’m a construction worker too and came out 6 years ago in my 30’s I have 2 kids too. I know how tough it is out there mate keep your head up and try to be yourself. It’s too stressful pretending

I'm a 55yo gay man. I cannot begin to count how many times through the years, in my life, when people would find out that I was gay, they would say, "You're gay?" I would reply "Yes, I am. I like/date guys." The next thing I heard was "Really? well, you don't look gay." I would sigh, throw my hands up in the air & then respond back in half-frustration, asking "And just WTF do we look like, then?!" to which I would only then receive this blank stare, yet never did I ever get an answer.

@endlesshugs8403

5 ай бұрын

This sounds like Church people...bad thought pattern!

Tolerance and acceptance will always be traits that help an individual live a more happy life. I do agree that when a person has such strong feelings on one topic or another, it’s usually a projection of some fear they have of that topic. Well done guys, for encouraging that moderate and tolerant behavior, we need more of that in every community in the world. 🙌❤️🙌

@poweredman

Жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, though I fully agree with you, hypocrisy plays a big role in the gay community with the amount of double standards. For example, gay guys not accepting themselves even as the way they are as humans and hence going after tons of plastic surgery and taking performance enhancers or being obsessed with their physiques. This is something we see all the time, everywhere, in all countries and in all races and religions. The guys here might suffer from this as well. Botox, gym dudes are abundant in the gay community and the guy on the left, for example, looks a lot like those. Why did he work out to the point where he'd become as muscular as he is, for example? Exploring the vulnerabilities is what the gay community should do in order for people to start accepting themselves and, afterwards, others.

Hi Keegan and Joel. I, like Keegan, married young as I grew up in a remote town in Australia where being gay was only spoken about in negative terms. I was 21 and 22 when my daughter and son were born. I attempted to live the lie until I was 26 and decided to live my more authentic life and divorced and pursued a gay lifestyle. There were many barriers, and at time, I wondered if it was worth the pursuit for my happiness. I'm 60 this year, been with my partner for 31 years and have 7 grandchildren. I've never regretted getting married, as I would most likely have never experienced having children, or better still grandchildren. Keegan, I always loved having my children, but having grandchildren is just life changing?

@chrisk5651

Жыл бұрын

I understand what you are saying but while you made lemonade out of lemons. There was probably a lot of heartache and possible trauma to you and the woman who you married and also the children (of course there can be that in any marriage and for any children but your case seems to be the result of homophobia). Without that homophobia one could experience a healthier development and go through adolescence and go into adulthood more prepared to have a more authentic life and today gay men can adopt & there’s surrogacy. Kudos to you for surviving & thriving and making it more acceptable and even possible for gays your children’s & grandchildren’s age

As an Australian bi guy, I just wanted to pass how much your grounded, inclusive yet reasoned discussions have impacted me in a positive way - challenging my inner homophobia about myself and others. Thanks for that guys. :) Looking forward about season 2.

Joel- you mentioned being introduced to Keegan’s rugby team’s wives and girlfriends; it would be wonderful to have a guest who feels comfortable discussing bridging acceptance from a straight woman’s perspective.

Icons legends ya can't please everyone and 99 percent of us are chuffed and look forward to this

Ruffling Feathers is a good sign that you both are spot on! Keep Ruffling! Our community needs that within itself!

I'm so happy you guys discussed this subject. As a self identifying "masc" gay men, it was never by choice. My family always opressed my feminin qualities when I was a young kid and dictated how I should behave. Which made it a bit uncomfortable for me as an adult whenever I try to enjoy doing something "femenin". It's childhood trauma & PTSD I guess.

@xandercrew6088

3 ай бұрын

Your family did you a favor lol

@expandingflames5225

Ай бұрын

​@@xandercrew6088 get a life

Very excited that there's already talks of a season two! Loving the podcast so far, it's both affirmed thoughts I've had recently about my journey as a gay man, and it's also made me see things in a new light. Well done guys! I'm really glad you began to explore this topic, as I've never truly fit into the community or other LGBTQ+ spaces. I call myself a "middle ground gay". I'm a writer who's into film-making, DIY, carpentry, sustainable living, and hiking; being gay is one of the least interesting things about myself. I would say I'm more masculine overall and when I meet new people they're generally surprised to learn I'm gay. I don't choose to act masculine (at least, not on a conscious level) it's just how I feel most natural. Sure I have my camp moments, and there's aspects of my personality and lifestyle that don't fit the generic masculine mold. I occasionally dip into queer culture, drag shows and such, but really I can take it or leave it. I think you're on the verge of another interesting conversation which is sexuality vs gender identity/ expression. The way I see it, acting masculine or feminine has little to do with sexuality - for me it's strange to say that what you enjoy in the bedroom dictates how you act outside of it. Whereas I think it has more to do with our gender expression. Perhaps being gay (therefore breaking free of heterosexual stereotypes) offers us freedom to explore what our gender identity means to us, in ways that a majority of straight people can't. It's definitely something I'm still figuring out myself, maybe there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer. Either way, thanks for another thought provoking episode!

@EeveeFlipnoteStudios

3 ай бұрын

I think what you’ve said about being “out of the hetero norm” is so true. I’m asexual and non-binary. I don’t experience or have interest in sexual attractions, but I still have a strong sense of gender identity. Growing up, my parents kept trying to make me “be a girl” or make me notice boys, but I had zero interest. Perhaps a heterosexual person would feel it a necessity to fit the male-female model in order to catch the attention of a potential partner. I don’t feel this necessity, so instead my external presentation has mostly been focused on what feels right to me. And what I feel doesn’t match the societal norms, the norms of neat boxes dividing male from female. So although gender identity and sexuality are different things, for me they have still informed each other. Interesting how you bring up that is also true for other sexualities that don’t fit the heterosexual mould. It makes sense!

Always enjoyable to watch, thanks guys .

Wow, another great episode from the two of you. Congratulations on the podcast.

This was such an odd topic to stumble into, but this was so applicable with a discussion I had with my husband! Love this content

I love this so relaxing atmosphere talking about real issues and our own values xx

Thanks guys. I’m always learning from your podcasts.

Literally love you sharing your perspectives. Keep up the great work. Thought you had many great comments and very wise comments. Can’t wait for more episodes. ❤

Guests for season 2 is the way to go, love it! This way it will feel a lot more like an inclusive conversation with the community. Very excited to see what's coming!

Just found your KZread channel and I am loving it! Great conversations and I will keep watching! 💯🌈

Congratulations ! Your topics and discussions have been great. The way you smile at each other is charmingly butch. Love it.

Just found your channel lads and love it. I have only just come out at the age of 66 years old, it has taken me so long to come to terms with it, but now I feel reborn again. Keep up the great work you are both doing and I will keep tuning in 😊

Great episode guys! As always I can't wait for the follow-up satellite episodes on each one of these. Also would love to see adjacent episode like other gay stereotypes, and breaking down the ways in which though the stereo tape may be true of some that is not true of all.

Love your podcast and as always very informative and knowledgeable. Always lead with compassion and empathy.❤❤❤❤❤ Love you HHHs

Gentlemen, thank you for taking time to bring to light various topics, views, opinions and issues that all people (not just Gays) should ponder and consider for action to improve collectively the human condition. Yes, there will be criticism (and praise) regardless of the topic but still there is conversation which eventually is good. Hopefully the word will spread and those who could benefit and participate will find this Podcast channel.

Firstly I think that your podcasts value and appeal is universal, while as a cis straight 50ish female, there are aspects of your experience that I of course will be unable to relate to personally, however overall we should all be able to relate to as Keegan said the “human condition”! While as gay men you are your own minority and much of what you discuss is based on your specific outsider experiences, other people (of superficially apparent opposites) can hopefully still feel empathy and relatability to your overall discussions. I still remember while struggling with post natal depression, as a group we were sharing our “stories” and after listening to some really heavy experiences, saying that as I hadn’t had anything so awful happen, how could I sit there and complain about my lot. As a whole all those wonderful Mums replied that just because my bad wasn’t the same as their bad, it in no way negated that it was bad for me! Bad is bad, pain is pain, regardless of its causes and origins. In my humble opinion life is for sharing, we are social creatures, sharing our differences, discussing our experiences and concerns, should be adding to the texture and richness of our lives! Not result in polarisation and separating us out into our different sub groups. Remember things that are standardised and homogenised are also bland and lifeless. We don’t get off this rock alive and I want to have experienced first hand and view second hand through others, as much as I possibly can of the full gamete of what life has to offer!!! Thank you both for generously sharing your experiences and viewpoints with me. Cheers 🐨🇦🇺😘

I love that you guys are using your platform to have an open dialogue and not acting as if you’re opinion is the only way. This is something that has been needed for a very long time. And it great how y’all keep making a point of making it clear that we are all human beings and we all matter. Bravo guys ❤👍👍👍👍🌈

Came across your podcast this morning through KZread suggestions and I've been binging through the episodes. Keep up the great work!

@happyhealthyhomo

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching!!

Brilliantly done, Keegan and Joel. No worries - you are both being your authentic selves and moving us forward with this podcast.💫 You both made so many excellent points. Even at my age I still seize every opportunity to move forward. I just traveled to Chicago, IL from Houston, TX last weekend to attend an art show displaying the work of my cousin's grandson, who is definitely more flamboyantly feminine than I, but so what - we are super close despite the age gap of 44 years ; went out and had a blast at a club and even his parents, grandparents and I went to Drag Brunch on Easter Sunday morning. Take that to Church👍🏼 and btw I am a practicing Catholic (still trying to get it right, Joel 😅). He shared with me that he often purposely dresses the way he does to help redefine masculinity to make it his own. Smart kid. I'm looking forward to the rest of season one and season two‼Thank you, thank you, thank you. I came out in the 1970's and I don't think ANYONE'S journey is harder than anyone else's. I see many comments below agreeing. 💕to you both and the kids and Ava and Fen❣

Congrats on HHH! You both are intelligent and think this was a great idea. Can easily see you discussing your channel on talk shows one day! 💯❣

Hello!! I am loving this podcast already! Can’t wait to see more.

Joel, Keegan, is it “Jogan” or “Keegle” 🤣🤣JK. Greeting from Tulsa, OK. The very root of this episode that I gleaned from is pure L. O. V. E. Love. It comes across in this episode, and Honestly in all the episodes. Both of you exude love and positivity together in your vlogs and separately in your individual vlogs. Joel, I am grateful I discovered you and Lia years ago, which has led me to this point of getting to everyone associated with you Joel. I am extremely proud for you and proud you held steadfast to your ‘compass’ and found Keegan. I was there at your live episode when you came out to everyone. I teared-up with you then and marvel at your growth and watching you remain humble through it all. Bless you and Keegan, y’all’s relationship and y’all’s fidelity for each other. Y’all ARE Happy Healthy Homo❣️💋💯

Great show guys. Looking forward to the next episode.

Firstly, love the pod so far!! Congrats to you both, love the concept and watching the episodes unfold💕 Secondly, some constructive criticism - please don't spend too much time over-explaining yourselves / addressing the negative criticism. You guys are doing amazing, just be yourselves and as Ru says..if they're not paying your bills, pay them no mind! 💕 Thirdly...would love a segment where you read some listener/viewer letters with - I love learning from others experiences 💌 Also as someone who was just diagnosed with ASD - would love a guest with gay autism perspective on season 2! Lastly, love you guys and thanks for much 💗 Sean😘

So well said, one of my fav YT podcasts rn!

I´m so glad I´ve found this podcast! ! I´m binge watching and I´m loving it! I do have a thing for one of you two and I´m not gonna say who because it really does not matter. It feels like I´m having a chat with my mates, the talkative ones who won't let me speak but I don´t mind it. So far, great topics and I´m really interested in the critics you´ve been getting. I can kind of understand it and in part, agree so I am definitely looking forward to season 2 with guests. But you two are also enough. Keegan, please remember that although your northern accent is a massive turn on, it can also be tough for us not native to understand at times, I noticed you caught yourself there, so I am sure you´re aware of it. I am an ex musical dancer so I would DEFINITELY want to see you perform your little routines you do at home. Maybe that could be a nice topic for one episode? 🤣Like a show and tell kind of thing??

I'm enjoying the podcasts. Everyone has an opinion and they're just one click away.... it's so easy to fire off a complaint these days. Sometimes I just have to restrain myself and let people be themselves, without any advice from me! You are doing a great job, don't let it get you down.

Very great episode and great topic!! Part of me definitely feels represented!!

Thank you so much for this episode! The comments in your socials are all just examples of people who choose to misunderstand you without listening to the full discussion. Like what Joel has said, there were unfair criticisms and hopefully you would not need to explain yourselves to these people who just actively disagrees with you. I think it just all boils down to empathy; letting people live how they'd want, and not getting offended by other people's self-expression if it doesn't directly ATTACK you. It's great that podcasts like these discuss nuance in sexuality and in how people choose to identify. Thank you for also not shutting down anyone else's experience, it's important to acknowledge that our lived experiences are not binary, that just because something isn't this, doesn't mean that it is that, it can be a multitude of other things as we're all just humans and there is no universal experience. Also, this isn't the oppression olympics, we just need to listen, try to understand other people, and just to be there for each other.

Really like your mindset, deep thought process, empathy and clever open-mindedness guys

Another great video - very informative and knowledgeable

A great discussion as usual. I feel the same as you guys. To have a balance of masculine and feminine energy.🌈❤️

We must remember that it takes all kinds of people to make this community great XOXO!!!!

Well said gents! Enjoyed this episode - awesome discussion.

Balance guys. It’s what it comes down to in the end. Congratulations to you both on your new venture.

Great to hear another discussion. I don't think you should apologize for having empathy with other sectors of the community. Empathy is understanding what it's like to walk in another person's shoes without walking in them. You're opening talking points, hopefully encouraging people to think, you don't have to have the definitive answer. Hope you have many more shows ahead of you.

I love this program. Wish there was something like this when I was growing up. it would have made it a lot easier for me, thanks for doing this type of program.

@happyhealthyhomo

Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

I am a masculine gay man and at times wonder why gay men have to project their gayness as very feminine and flamboyant. And at times I applaud their femininity when I'm proud to be gay like in a pride parade or so. Sounds VERY confusing! Thank you for this conversation.

@janakiserath

7 ай бұрын

​@itsthairuumm I don't think so. Then why there's many gay flamboyant men than straight ones. Why only gay men become that flamboyant

@rudypalma1250

7 ай бұрын

As a gay man who basically falls into the middle - I just feel like a guy, not particularly masc or fem - I sometimes feel so many gay men go so far to project an extreme of femininity OR masculinity to the point where I feel I don’t fully belong in either group. The hypermasculine ones only hang with their own, but I don’t feel like I belong with the guys who snap their fingers and do choreography videos to the latest pop hits. Does being gay have to be so damn central to our lives? I just want to be a person - like straight people get to be without having to think about it. So you’re not alone. I can relate.

@NoviusInfernalBerserk

6 ай бұрын

​@@rudypalma1250I feel this. I also don't see myself being any extreme. I have interests, that would be considered rather masculine, yet I'm a quite sensitive person, so I feel like I don't belong to this scene at all and being "side" creates even more distance.

@xKarenWalkerx

4 ай бұрын

@@janakiserathbecause gay men produce less testosterone and more estrogen. It's from birth and before before mother somehow didn't provide testosterone to son in utero. Then as a human born already low testosterone and then through puberty might develop test to look more manly but the base of birth is a lesser testosterone so it remains "gay" and fem acting. It's like a female spirit trapped in a body of a man. But it's natural bc it's hormonal. It's not trans. It's just all hormones and mostly the prenatal hormonal environment didn't contribute enough to produce a fully masc man (which are straight and not fem acting). Because at that level of testosterone there wouldn't be any room for femininity.

@janakiserath

4 ай бұрын

@@xKarenWalkerx um no lol. I know many fem gay men who have more testosterone than very masculine men. It has nothing to do with hormones. What I found is. It was a made up personality with time. It's not their real persona. Most fem gay men follow women. For a example gay voice. It's not a " voice". It was way of speaking. Also there's only 5% or 6% percent gay men become that feminine. 90% are ordinary guys. But we didn't recognise them because they very well blended with straight guys.

The part where you talked about people competing about who struggled more was really good.

I will never miss an episode - the conversations are to important to miss....so glad you guys decided to do it!

Very well balanced podcast. I loved the reference to the yin and yang ☯ or what I would probably call the Middle Way ☸. One thing you spoke about which resonated with me was age. I read something years ago about how the gay community is really bad at acknowledging those who came before. Back in the early 2010s I worked with "the only lesbian you have every met" who decided it was her job to educate EVERBODY about the LGBT community. At this time the Marriage Equality Act passed through Parliament and I was one of the people who kickstarted the process at the Outrage! demonstration in 1993 but of course I still needed to be "educated"!!! Tongue in cheek - you made me feel very old. I was born in the (early) 60s!

People are really hating on you guys? That's ridiculous. Just know that for every negative comment you have, there are 100 other people who are happy with what you guys are saying, but not commenting. I am one of those people until now. I really enjoy listening to your guy's take on being a happy homo. Although, one thing that you guys do that really disappoint me is.... That... Your podcast is too short!! 30 min in and I'm just getting comfortable. I need at least an hour of you guys! Keep up the good work!!

As a POC man that definitely dabbles in 💅🏽💅🏽, i appreciate you points of view. I do want to hear yall talk about how the White Gayze™️ (not all but you know) have selective minority status. Meaning, I'm obviously brown and a minority, so I can't be more than that, right? I've had experiences with acquaintances that claim to align with black/poc allyship but never put it into action. And some of them would only ever claim to be a minority if it suited them in the moment/setting. I think that's an important point to touch on when you do your guest shows with black/poc LBGTQ+ people. Yall are great, i really enjoy this podcast/youtube series!!

Awesome video, great job!

Love this podcast ❤

We are all able to see lines that either connect or divide us. But it seems there's a trend of making bold lines that separate, even building up fences on those lines. The more we continue to divide things, the stronger those differences become and the more challenging it becomes to share and be open to the human experience.

Great u guys are doing this. When I was younger I found comfort in hang and having a mostly gay friend group. As I got older, entered what is now a 30 plus year relationship and having a child, life got broader. I guess for me I don’t want to be part of any kind of ghetto, whether that be a age, sexuality or the color of one’s skin ghetto. I learn so much by being “out there”, everywhere with all types of people.

I‘ve been loving this podcast. The topics are great. Happy to see a LGBT podcast that not all about sex.

I happen you work in the military for the usa and I’ve met and worked with everyone on the spectrum from gay men and women of every color to trans and gender-fluid/gender nonconforming people through my job. All I have to say about my experience is that everyone is unique and so is everyone in the lgbt+ community. Although everyone has a different experience we still can share aspects, no matter how small or how they may or may be perceived in public, of who we are. We are family, as much or as little as we’d like to be. Be you. Fem, masc, and all in between.

Amazing show, thank you

Guys, you really hit the nail on the head with this one. It really had to be said

@happyhealthyhomo

Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

Hello I have listened to all the pod casts and love the conversation honesty and openness. As a man who came out at 52 and now married to a wonder man it’s been a journey. A suggestion for a discussion being a parent and coming out. We have 5 kids all grown between us !!

I'm giving this another listen. I'm not gonna lie, I listened to the first 10 minutes of the first episode and I didn't continue because when terms like "normal" were thrown around, I took it as being masculine and as close to straight relationships as possible. So giving it another listen and seeing how other people view things 😊

I'm regularly please by your videos. You're both so eloquent and informed without being verbose or judgmental. You share many keen insights, too. A fairly reclusive gay man of 70 working from home in a very right wing city, my only exposure to the gay community is what appears on the internet. So I've experienced very little of the pressures you discuss. However, I endeavor not to be like the Gahan Wilson cartoon where a young robot walks beside an old one, who tells him: "Just wait 'til YOU can't find spare parts!" An possible idea for some future video is fetishism. As a fetishist myself, I'd be fascinated to know your views on it in the gay community.

Love these two i wish these were longer episodes! As a ex jehovahs witness being fem was a no go area! it took me many years to get used to having guys more fem around me, as i was not used to it! But I have to agree it is about having that balance of masc and fem and we should all celebrate being who we are.

Part of the issue I find are the labels that we use, because with them comes ideas of what they mean and usually those ideas are ones that have be constructed by the larger social culture. Does masculine mean muscles, a square jaw line, certain height, penis size, aggressiveness or is it about an energy even when someone doesn't have these traits. The same for the so called feminine there is a list for that often it gets to be interpreted to mean weaker, soft female like which often is portrayed as a negative. We often don't talk about the strength in the feminine which is definitely there. The very fact that men are loving men and women are loving women already places you within either of these labels of masculine and feminine, because of based on the so called society norms you are crossing boundaries that have been set for men and women as a whole. Then when you get into the spectrum of identity that people are embracing it totally destroys these narrow labels. I think we should all be trying to be the most authentic self that lives in balance whatever that means for the individual.

Not taking anything away from the podcast, which by the way I think was excellent, nevertheless this type of debate will endure for all time. Imagine a world where those who held extreme beliefs never got heard or realized. Imagine the grief / ridicule / ostracization that very first ape who dared to walk upright must have endured. Imagine living in a world where you'd never sail off into the sunset for fear of falling off the edge of the world. I gaze out the window at the 7 or so blackbirds happily hoping about on the lawn and wonder what they see when looking back through the window at me. Looking forward to the next thought provoking episode gentlemen.

You guys are great, thank you 😊 ❤️

@happyhealthyhomo

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching!

@jordanlepage3322

Жыл бұрын

@@happyhealthyhomo Don't be daft, it's my pleasure. Thank you for the great content. Watching and listening to you guys certainly helps, and you both have a great sense of humour too. So, thank you 😊

Keep up the great work boys. I’m considered beary and masc but love to camp it up when I can. A mate laughs when I call the barman babe when I order a pint of Guinness in a gay bar we use 🏉🌈🏉

'this podcast incredibly important and as queer person I just want to say thank you for these discussions and what you're doing for all of us in the lgbtq+ community!

@happyhealthyhomo

Жыл бұрын

Aw thank you Sarah!

I want to give a shout out to Netflix’s Grace and Frankie for helping me get to grips with my masculinity. I’ve never been overly masc or femme, I definitely have moments of both but i struggled for a while thinking where I stand on the scale so to speak. There was one episode of G&F when Robert went to a leather bar, and a guy there explained that it was just a different way for him to express his masculinity. That was a real light bulb moment. I dabbled with leather anyway but didn’t think of it that way. I realised there were so many ways to express that side of myself, as much as there is to express my feminine side. I went from questioning my own gender (am I nonbinary? Am I this or that?) to just describing myself as my own kind of man. I’m comfortable in my masculinity as I express it in my own way now. We talk about representation, it was a single line in a telly show that really helped me come to grips with myself at a time when my identity was all over the place.

An important topic is biracial couple in the gay community. My first boyfriend was white and I'm Native-American. When I met his family, his father was clearly a racist. Made microaggressions about how I'm poor and unworthy of his son. It really is challenging having to deal with racist people when you're just trying to live your life. Gay people of color have different experiences because we have to have our guard up sometimes because of racism.

I went out with a guy who you would NEVER guess was gay. Big muscles, tattoos, Big truck, deep voice and no gay mannerisms at all. He dismissed having it go further because I wasn’t masculine enough. The only place he has any pride is at gay pride events or other gay events. He’s actually closeted to Certain degree.

One of the biggest issues I found as being more masculine and before I came out was people would say things about gays in front of me and if they were family or friends it would make me feel like wow this is what people really think about me how can I ever come out with them? But I’m older and people were so ignorant back then to gays they only knew what they heard a Bible thumper say about us. I think we all have had our own struggles we had to overcome and deal with before and after we came out no matter how masculine or feminine we are. I hope that we can all just respect and love each other because we truly are all part of the same community.

Thanks for this video! The community has this "gay essentialism" about it. When public facing gay guys say things like, "All gays this..." or "We gays that..." or mislabeling something as internalized homophobia, I don't think they care what impact their choice of words has. I wish more gay men knew that feeling disconnected from what you think gay is supposed to look like is also a uniquely gay struggle (I'm sure very few straight men ever wonder if they're straight enough or why they have so few straight male friends).

@Pippa_McConnell

4 ай бұрын

I'm sure straight men don't wonder if they're straight enough (barring some experimentation), but they sure do wonder if they're masculine enough.

Loved your channel Regards from Mexico city

Good conversation.

I love the name of the podcast 😂

Well done.

Well I am 52, not British and overweight. I don’t live far from you and I’m always available to share my experience as a guest.

Started Tweeting you today. Love your podcast. Rocket Hulsey

" thought processors " ; " entire personality " ; "nuance and balance" ❤❤❤❤❤

As someone who has recently entered the LGBTIQ+ community (2018), I have discovered huge diversity and history inside of this minority. although it made me truly sad that when I entered (come out) thinking that I would have all the acceptance that I ever dreamed of, but I fully didn't. I was categoriese and even being called out by my very first boyfriend for not being feminine all the time. despite all of this, I have taken the lead to learn more from everyone that I meet and change the mind of all my straight and gay friends/family that I'm part of a spectrum and also a human. meaning that I'm in constant change and that they shouldn't expect me to act in a certain way. because I'm only me acting like I deeply feal that I am ( meaning masculine, feminine, and all in between). Great podcast, I love it!

Very good episode. One thing that you did not touch on, but which I think is important to realize is that what is considered masculine and feminine is a social construct that varies across cultures and time. For example, men wearing make-up, wigs, high heeled shoes, silk stockings, ribbons, and flouncy ruffles would be considered to be dressing femininely, and probably quite camp, in most contemporary western cultures, but was considered to be normal masculine dress for the middle and upper classes in most western cultures of the 17th and 18th centuries. Thus, behaviors such as the way in which one speaks, gestures, moves, walks, dances, and/or dresses are not inherently feminine nor masculine, but are externally labelled as such in accordance with some arbitrary social construct in place in that particular society in that particular time. It is also important to realize that an individual wanting to identify with and fit into some social group is an expression of the primitive instinct for socialization in primates that evolved due to the combination of enhanced access to resources and reduced vulnerability to predation provided by living in social groups. However, due to competition for food and shelter resources and for mates, primates also evolved to be competitive and aggressive as well. Therefore, there is always a dynamic tension for any group of humans between individual behaviors that further the individual's inclusion and acceptance in the group, and those behaviors that express competition and aggression both within the group and with other groups. It is important for us to realize and acknowledge the primitive instinctual origins of these social dynamics so that we can rationally moderate them since the expression of these primitive instincts may no longer be beneficial, but rather may be harmful, in contemporary society. Clearly, the labeling as "toxic" any behaviors that differ from one's own ideals or the ideals of the group with which one identifies, comes either from a desire to identify more closely with and be more accepted into one's group by rejecting those designated to be outside the group, or from the individual's competition and aggression within the group to secure or advance one's position within the group at the expense of other individuals within the group. This behavior reeks of the cliche' of high school cliques, peer pressure, teasing, shaming, and bullying which arise from the primitive primate instincts that are fueled by the raging hormones that run amok in puberty. One would hope that such behaviors subside as one matures and one's hormone levels stabilize, but unfortunately, many people carry the learned behaviors and emotional damage from puberty into adulthood. The emotional damage needs to be healed and the harmful behaviors need to be unlearned and replaced with beneficial behaviors, but this is easier said than done, especially for those individuals belonging to social groups that are in the minority or considered to be outside the mainstream of society. Hopefully, honest and balanced discussions such as you have in these podcasts will contribute to healing our emotional damage and to learning more beneficial behaviors despite the negative comments you receive that arise out of the emotional damage and harmful learned behaviors we have experienced.

I’m surprised you are publishing all of your content so quickly.

Would love you to have Rose and Rosie on if you ever want to collab with other influencers!

The masculine thing is interesting - I joined the university gym with CPTSD and was 117kg - some of the nicest guys there are masculine but there’s some ‘obvious’ guys - I love the fact that everyone is there to improve themselves - I think it’s all about starting with the self

"They haven't seen you at my house" took me out LOL

Hi guys, i have a question. Do you have any experience with homophobia inside your family and how you dealt with it? I struggle with that kind of problem, and i haven't came out to my family, so i'm curious how people deal with that issue. Would very much appreciate advice about maybe coming out itself Thanks in advance, and i really like the work that u two are doing here

Mmm I have a healthy mix of feminine and masculine traits. Never was bothered to care what people thought but after many years, it seems you either noticed I was gay or just never noticed and the majority I believe never noticed until I brought it up. Either way, sexuality is not your identity unless you plan on making it your identity. Most of us I think are just normal everyday people, who don’t care to make it our identity, just as straights don’t care to make that their identities.

I swing between extreme gay separatism and feeling that the gay life is futile, so I meet these guys somewhere in between.

Good luck not getting hate comments. The camp gays won't have it that Masc gay guys have issues and if you are masc for masc well you might aswell be called a bigot. But apparently in their book you can be fem for masc no problems. I remember when I was younger having to prove I was gay to get into gay clubs and some of my str8 mates thought I had to be bi because I wasn't camp enough to be gay all so stupid. People should just be able to be whatever kind of gay they want.

Just be who you are as best you can - and boy can it be a challenge

Sexual orientation is not a dirty little secret. At the same time it is very individual how much and who you share this with and respect given to those. School age gay youth need to understand that they can share their sexual orientation at their pace with people that they can trust and hopefully that is their family and they understand what a safe environment is and not put themselves at risk. Particularly in school environments. No matter what the media is projecting the real world can be cruel as can youth. Bullying is a thing. School shootings and violence is something that is not going away. The only thing you can do is teach your children how to be safe.

I just dont fit in to the lgb club at all. Not into bars, clubs or drag shows, dont like gyms or working out, but i am healthy! Looking for a gym that is more suitable for introverts! Why do gyms force piped music on to me!

@jakeoutrider7644

11 ай бұрын

earbuds help, i don’t fit in with most “gay” activities either. personally i think most are not healthy, thank god for the gyn

[your podcast is helping the younger audience how to stay healthy, mentally. You have the additional challenge of raising teenagers in your family]