His “holl mah pocket” voice is dead on. He sounds just like the dude.

@buttervlies

2 жыл бұрын

Wait, you watched that episode?

@valhalla1240

2 жыл бұрын

I NEED to watch this episode.

@Yes-sc1pb

2 жыл бұрын

@@valhalla1240 it's on KZread

@jacobmccain8082

2 жыл бұрын

Facts. I watched this live when I was 13 and knew exactly what he was talking about from the very beginning.

@teriflagard.eeznutzwaterlaw

2 жыл бұрын

I told people to do this at school

I saw Tom at OHare airport and yelled BIKES. He waved at me from like 50ft away as I scared the passengers waiting for our flight. Edit: Holy crap 4K likes, it was worth it!

@SapphireCrusader1988

Жыл бұрын

That's brilliant.

@jbg71384

Жыл бұрын

That's awesome!

@chaosoul-seanleeriggs369

Жыл бұрын

You know he wanted to yell it back so bad, but had to keep his composure!

@kvps27

Жыл бұрын

I cannot for the life of me find the video but I remember Tom talk about your incident in a podcast/interview.

@giampaolomannucci8281

Жыл бұрын

@@kvps27 it MUST be found! You can achieve the status of Hero, please!

Best, most underrated line....."Ehhhhh I hate breakfast"

@AmandaBurns14

2 жыл бұрын

I love that part

@chrispybasschi3009

2 жыл бұрын

😆😆😆 idk why I find that super hilarious

@DudeWatchesThings

2 жыл бұрын

It's great, but can we stop calling it underrated? It's not like I rated his other lines. Let's go with understated.

@YAOK117

2 жыл бұрын

@@DudeWatchesThings Take it ease

@weldon9254

2 жыл бұрын

@@DudeWatchesThings Tom rates his own lines on his website. This one really is underrated. Go check for yourself.

The funny thing is that since I have tourrettes BIKES actually turned into a tic for a brief period of time

@americat0

2 жыл бұрын

Dunno if I have tourettes but I've yelled that shit for abt 2 months lmao

@glenrobinson9963

2 жыл бұрын

Isnt it crazy how the power of suggestion works though. That's how TS is, once it's stuck in your brain, it's gonna come out.

@andrewdunn2343

2 жыл бұрын

I feel like Tom Segura would be incredibly happy about that if he ever found out, haha

@viscountrainbows6452

2 жыл бұрын

One time I was seeing Man Of Steel in theatres and a dude had a tic where he would yell "STFU" every 10 or so minutes. He apologised to everyone beforehand so it was chill. And even provided comedic commentary at a particularly stinky part of the movie so, A+ would relive that day

@mannys_nothere

2 жыл бұрын

@@viscountrainbows6452 i love that lmao, Golden moment in time

I work at a bike shop and yell that often.

@MrSpeedyAce

3 жыл бұрын

*BAIKSSS!!!*

@noneofyourbusiness5462

3 жыл бұрын

You must

@Casablumpkin01

3 жыл бұрын

“BIKES?” “Yeah, could you show me around your stock?” “HOLD MA POCKET”

@stevezee6286

3 жыл бұрын

@@Casablumpkin01 baaahahahahaha

@daveh2612

3 жыл бұрын

THE FUCK U TOOK?

My wife has our almost four year old son randomly yelling, “bikes!” 🤣 He has no idea why, but he’s happy to play along.

@edwardcashh924

2 жыл бұрын

You got a keeper lmaoo congrats brother

@JoeSmith-dl9ok

Жыл бұрын

Your wife sounds awesome

@keztukariri

10 ай бұрын

😂😂😂 brilliant

@BrySmi

7 ай бұрын

Better than quoting Scared Straight guys

@Tommyoda

6 ай бұрын

lol 😂

"Bikes!" pops into my head every so often and I can't stop laughing.

@juliewhiting4591

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@drunkenmmamaster419

Жыл бұрын

Same 😂😂😂 this makes me laugh everytime I see it

"He's doing a double life sentence so when he dies and is reincarnated that man's gonna be doing life in prison" is one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard 😂

@vd3364

4 ай бұрын

Richard Pryor rip-off, but still funny.

In the early 00's my roommate and I were watching 'Cops', and in one episode they were arresting a psychotic looking black dude for some thing or another. He had receding-hairline dreads, and his exposed forehead was tattooed into a solid black widow's-peak, like a vampire, and he said his name was 'Drak'. At the end of the segment when they were driving him off to jail, he stared at the camera, stuck his head out the back window of the cruiser, and yelled *"DRRRAKK!!"* at the top of his lungs. My roommate and I both died laughing for minutes. And after that, for the next few YEARS, whenever we saw each other we'd both yell *"DRRRAKK!!".* And since we were roommates, .....we saw each other *a lot.* Also at parties, in bars, and whenever trying to locate each other in stores.

@foxibot

2 жыл бұрын

That’s a fantastic story. I think you may have outdone Tom.

@KR-wd1ii

2 жыл бұрын

Ya'll we're smoking weed weren't Ya'll

@dankpiggy1525

Жыл бұрын

I’ve never laughed this hard at anything, especially not a damn KZread comment! I couldn’t get up for like 5 minutes straight, that was fuckin hilarious man, great story!

@CircleWilliams

Жыл бұрын

Drak Yula tales from the hood

@Blitznstitch2

Жыл бұрын

I have to find this episode

I listen to Tom Segura stories to get through my boring ass day doing Accounting work. Headphones on, trying not to laugh out loud in the office.

@duhast43

3 жыл бұрын

what if your boss likes to read comments on Toms videos?

@Sherryreid93

2 жыл бұрын

Who still use govt name for a youtube username KEKW

@tombstonejones9581

2 жыл бұрын

Why you look 12 in your pic bro?

@melissaamyasmr3575

2 жыл бұрын

It’s tax season, there’s no way u have enough time to be bored

@danpalu2308

Жыл бұрын

Well done picking a boring career. Enjoy the next 50 boring years.

HOL MY PAHKETT

This never gets old

@queunlimited4779

2 жыл бұрын

Yuuuup!

@boyertb

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@FlawdaBoy4

2 жыл бұрын

@K1ngdöm About to watch right now

The video of this bit cut into the actual scenes of that episode is amazing too.

@liferlanceadventures1465

3 жыл бұрын

Link?

@theoldwise

2 жыл бұрын

@@liferlanceadventures1465 kzread.info/dash/bejne/oYyozMiMhdjbqso.html

@captainobvious2373

Жыл бұрын

​@@liferlanceadventures1465 kzread.info/dash/bejne/oYyozMiMhdjbqso.html

@nicholaslutz5910

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/h6h4ssOrlKyYhag.html

I really enjoy Toms comedy but this is just an incredible composition for a joke. I mean maybe top 20 jokes of all time. To ride that all the way through to a mellow deadpan," And thats why I yell bikes all the time." So smart. Its like progressive rock.

@scemmostu

2 жыл бұрын

It's 'Kay.

@tophan5146

2 жыл бұрын

You should check Norm MacDonald

@CliveWarren69

2 жыл бұрын

OOHM G U R LYK SOOOOO000000 QUIRKAY OMG SO RANDOM WOW KOOOL

@chrismarzarella2106

2 жыл бұрын

@@CliveWarren69 ease off the caffeine girl

@CliveWarren69

2 жыл бұрын

@@chrismarzarella2106 ease off the simping beta male

This never gets old. I can come back to it every 3 months or so and its still hilarious. On top of that I've found the "Scared straight episode" and its excctly as he described it. :)

@drunkenmmamaster419

Жыл бұрын

Reminds me of Shane Gillis describing that hoarders episode line for line 😂

I love how, after he tells a joke, he's got this proud "I did this" look on his face.

@theflash62281

Жыл бұрын

He's like an overgrown fat kid. 🤣🤣

the maddest thing is toms conviction of saying it is better then the actual video

glad this clip is available as video now, this is the bit I show people that haven't heard Tommy Bunz yet.

@borismuller86

3 жыл бұрын

This clip is how I discovered him!

@FreddyFunderbunz

3 жыл бұрын

What was it before? Transcript?

@johnmccurdy6544

3 жыл бұрын

I usually go with cowboy hats or Steven segall

@wakenow7612

3 жыл бұрын

@Muyinza look up the scared straight Tom Segura mix, someone put the actual recorded vhs episode dubbed over the stand up routine and I cried laughing

@wakenow7612

3 жыл бұрын

@Muyinza here's a link below if it sticks

if you’ve ever seen this episode, tom was NOT lying when he says that kid had a bowl cut 😂 bowlest cut i’ve ever seen

@LordWafflestomp

Жыл бұрын

I came here cause I saw the clip and had to come to this vid 🤣 the bowlest of all bowl cuts 🤣

@strikingmachine2975

Жыл бұрын

i cut my hair in Bowl format, just to make sure it's even all around. But then i usually part it to one side or slick it back after that :P

@drunkenmmamaster419

Жыл бұрын

I just watched the whole episode for the first time yesterday it was fucking wild 😂

@drunkenmmamaster419

Жыл бұрын

​@@strikingmachine2975 sounds like the "I'm offended by everything" haircut 😂

@TheTurinturumbar

9 ай бұрын

And the kid's skinny making him look like a mushroom.

For some fucking reason this set runs in my head atleast once a week...n it usually ends with my yelling BIKES for no good reason... Tom Segure is the fucking best!!!

@queunlimited4779

2 жыл бұрын

Yuuuup...btw...BIKES!

@erniethechicken8581

2 жыл бұрын

Same🙃

Man! Thank you for the memories. My old Science teacher used to show us scared straight, I always looked forward to it. He also used to say he was thinking of organising a field trip to the local jail for the class but apparently him and the principal agreed that we'd probably all be there soon anyway so why ruin the surprise.

5 years ago when Jeans looked 10 years older.

@gustavosanabio473

3 жыл бұрын

He really did.

@lukefredsall

3 жыл бұрын

So true

@mattyounger236

3 жыл бұрын

@@gustavosanabio473 of. I bboôtcj

@FloorGorilla

3 жыл бұрын

I hope 5 years from now, in mansion #3, Tina finally chows down.

@adelaidedark74

3 жыл бұрын

I forgot how heavy he was. He's killing it nowadays. I love Tommy Bunz

“This dude is so bad, that when he dies and he’s reincarnated, that guys doing life in prison also.” Underrated joke lol.

@shom11

Жыл бұрын

Stolen joke: kzread.info/dash/bejne/oZVrucalea3Aibw.html

@Scrufflelump

Жыл бұрын

@@shom11 Or as Amy Schumer calls it, "parallel thinking." 🙄

@shom11

Жыл бұрын

@@Scrufflelump my buddy told me this too. I can appreciate that. Especially since Segura is so prominent. No way comedians didnt see this and call him on it. Rogan went to the ends to expose Mencia. Segura is his boy. Will he protect or denounce? Either way...their rich and Im not. They got the last laugh!

Tom Segura is super underrated. One of the funniest stand up'ers EVER!!!!!!!!!! BIKES!!!!!!!!!

@trippersigs2248

3 жыл бұрын

Hes easily in the top 5 most famous comdians currently performing. He isnt "underrated" at all.

@WilliamBonneyPodcast

3 жыл бұрын

@@trippersigs2248 i hadn't heard of tom until he went on joe rogan, he is really not 'mainstream' yet

@EckoUntitl

3 жыл бұрын

@@WilliamBonneyPodcast Mainstream doesnt always mean good,Kevin Hart gathers millions on his live shows but his comedy is trash,common, uncreative,basic jokes for the masses.Tom is an amazing stand up comedian,he is even better a storyteller,his material doesnt recycle like many "manstream" ones

@munky342

2 жыл бұрын

@@WilliamBonneyPodcast so because *you* haven't heard of him he isn't a common name? What kind of barometer is that? He is regularly in the lists of top active comedians.

@trippersigs2248

2 жыл бұрын

@@WilliamBonneyPodcast are you high?

Bert looks skinny with his shirt on in this And much funnier than usual

@thealienarms

3 жыл бұрын

Brent Cruncher really brought his A game to this bit

@robinsharkey6658

3 жыл бұрын

Bart Krishna

@adelaidedark74

3 жыл бұрын

Ha, Bert aint any funnier than "that funny chill ass uncle" that every family has. It irritates me how much he rides all his friends coattails. Life is literally all about who you know!!

@royal_berg

3 жыл бұрын

Man Brent Kampshire really stepped his game up

@zyourzgrandzmaz

3 жыл бұрын

ive never seen bret krysler live, this was funny. and not a dog in site.

2:32 “We’re all reformed now.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I only discovered Tom Segura a couple days ago but I've been watching several ~5min videos of him a day and he's already one of my favorite comics.

@nicolechavannes6891

2 жыл бұрын

Me too!

@NotTheHeroStudios

2 жыл бұрын

Trust me, Tom doesn't miss, he has a handful of specials and they never get old.

@jackknife4547

Жыл бұрын

Wow!

@danpalu2308

Жыл бұрын

Cool story

@gameface6091

Жыл бұрын

@@danpalu2308 Thank you! I felt pretty good about it but it's always nice to get that positive reinforcement! But forreal, posting comments helps the youtube channel get recommended so I try to post comments on channels and videos I like. It doesn't have to be earth shattering.

I no longer feel bad for yelling “cows”, every single time I see them whilst driving, even when I’m alone.

@Undoing88

2 жыл бұрын

You're not alone in this, my friend

@terra_the_nightingale135

2 жыл бұрын

Mr friend always says "Tesla!" whenever we see one on the road

@KilyanAustin

2 жыл бұрын

XD

@BigCleverName

2 жыл бұрын

Gotta make yourself laugh y'know

@davidschmidt270

2 жыл бұрын

Your so cool.... seriously!

I got really wasted at my cousins wedding last month. I was told that I was yelling "Hold My Pocket!" repeatedly at 2am in the hotel lobby. Cops got called.

@kellyrichmond887

2 жыл бұрын

Haha I would have loved to see that! 😂

@paigebradbury6746

2 жыл бұрын

Dude ur a freaking legend 🤣

@garrettmcginnis6472

2 жыл бұрын

The hero we all needed but didn’t deserve

@derrickalexander9710

2 жыл бұрын

You a bad mamma jamma!!!

@blancprl

2 жыл бұрын

I work for hotels. Guests like you are the reason why we hate wedding parties.

“What the fuck you took?!” Loooool sounds just like the dude.

04:13 - 04:17 has me gasping for air over here

"My wife is kind of over it." I bet she is, but that shit is funny! "Don't sell drugs."

@pws3rd170

2 жыл бұрын

It would take a lot of patients to be his wife 🤣🤣🤣 Her: is everything a fucking joke to you Him: it will be when I get on stage

@CrazyLocoInsane1

2 жыл бұрын

@@pws3rd170 well they don’t live in a hospital so they don’t have to worry about “patients” lol

"Scared Straight" should be a curriculum requirement

Tom is one of the greatest right now.

Im so grateful i found T Segura. His delivery is amazing !!!!

Watched it for the 10th time now, never occured to me to just look up the episode. It really was tremendous, thanks Tom ♥

I've watched this 100x but it's still funny 😂😂 BIKES!

its all about the delivery, and Tom's is gold.

The super cut of this bit with the original footage belongs in the YT Hall of Fame

I went to MMI (motorcycle mechanics institute) about the time this skit came out and all you could hear on campus all day long was people screaming BIKES 😂

Ever since seeing this my dad now screams BIKES every time we see someone on a bike while driving. Every now and then it almost gives me a heart attack but I still laugh every time.

Alright we're all reformed now. 😂 I love it!

I get recommended this clip every so often so I watch it because it's hilarious. Then spend the next week or 2 randomly shouting "BIKES".

Rewound that shit like 10 times to hear him yell bikes. Sounds like a beat 😂

At some point we need to acknowledge that Tom put this bit together just so fans would yell 'BIKES!' at him for the rest of his life.

Watched it yesterday night, loved it. Took a bus today and drove by a bike shop. I was hard not to yell BIKES but I made it.

Best story ever! Tom’s the Goat

I saw that episode the one time it aired and I still remember it. I remember Crazy Chris the Nightmare Man. One hell of a show.

If you’ve ever seen the mashup of this and the real documentary, it takes it to a whole new level

@ct7800

2 жыл бұрын

link?

@4stringz.

2 жыл бұрын

@@ct7800 kzread.info/dash/bejne/oYyozMiMhdjbqso.html

@AlwaysHereAndNow

2 жыл бұрын

Omg I saw it. Insane.

@4stringz.

2 жыл бұрын

@@AlwaysHereAndNow HOLD MY POCKET!

@wintermourning

2 жыл бұрын

I need to see this so bad do you still have the link or what did you search lol

When I was in high school I was in a psychology class and as a field trip we went to the local prison. Afterwords the teacher apologized to everybody in our class because the prison guard who led us around treated our class like we were on a “scared straight tour”… We were brought into solitary confinement where the men shouted sexual obscenities at the girls in the group. Also, it was freezing in jail! The guard said they keep the temperature so cold bc inmates are “Less likely to fight with each other when they are worried about trying to stay warm.” TBH though, since that experience, I don’t ever wanna go to jail, not even for one night! I kinda think every teen should see the potential consequences of crime, via a prison tour

@davidschmidt270

2 жыл бұрын

Dear DC .... where was this? What state and what year,to be precise.... sorry for the grilling... I'm incredibly interested as I ended up in sherrif joe arpios jail .....what an eye opener....never thought I'd experience that!

@criztu

2 жыл бұрын

Joke on you, crime is a corporate business in US, at least ever since Reagan privatized the jails. Statistically you will be put in jail for silliest things. That's how the corporation makes a profit.

@milliondollarmistake

2 жыл бұрын

@@criztu She's white she'll be fine

@jasongillum5763

2 жыл бұрын

inmates don't give a fuck about the temp

@Kiss4this

2 жыл бұрын

Ok but that was the most roller coaster psychological experience for a high school psych class 💀

The best scared straight episode ever

@kylekallday

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the OG one from ‘78 has this one beat. I dig listening to how they spoke back then. Specifically white dude with the hat.

@Rick_Sanchez_C137_

2 жыл бұрын

Other than the Boondocks episode with Tom, Riley, Huey, and Fleece Johnson….

@eddieisfiction442

2 жыл бұрын

@@Rick_Sanchez_C137_ that’s the scared stiff program

@idealist4910

2 жыл бұрын

which episode is that

@ChiefBlue4298

2 жыл бұрын

@@idealist4910 kzread.info/dash/bejne/lZad2sOjpLvWgrw.html

This is one of my favorite bits ever!!!

Fuckin classic! I've got the BIKES shirt and I've listened to this bit about 100 times lol

This has me cracking up every time I watch it. And I know what's coming and it's still hilarious every freaking time. BIKES! :)

Automatically saving this for an always replay! Thanks Tom!

This guy.... 😂 Simple stories but his charisma is through the roof

This is my all time favorite bit. Me and my best friend yell bikes at random people when we're out driving.

I can never get enough of the Bikes bit😂😂❤

Tom is a great story teller I could listen to him all day.

Love his bobcat impressions

I just found Tom’s videos, love the guy! Very few comedians have what it takes to be funny. For some it comes naturally. Tom’s a natural.

Tom's new special should be called "Laugh at Your Pain". This dude loves watching other people suffer.

Phenomenal bit.

Such a great story teller

I swear it gets better every time i watch it😂😂

Tom is just the cutest little patootie

He tells good stories and is ridiculously funny.

@hello_its_me.

Жыл бұрын

@@l0-r3z43 said no one of any consequence

5 years later and I still yell “HOLD MY POCKET!!”

I need to watch this episode 😂

@americat0

2 жыл бұрын

please do, it's fucking hilarious

@mememaker7453

2 жыл бұрын

How do you find it??

So glad to see video for this one...Ho my pocket...

This is the most genuine and creative setup i saw in years

I want to see this episode 👏🏼😂

This dude is hilarious 😂

I finally know what he looks like in person when doing this bit.

Well I Just Cried Tears of Joy. Tom Is a amazing Comedian Thank you Tom.

Instant Classic!

Once you rematch it after you watch the episode he’s talking about it becomes way better😂😂

Holy shit, that long for one of the best jokes I’ve ever heard. Hell yeah 👍😂

Hilarious. Great material

I'm so glad I found this channel thanks for sharing subscribed

I love this skit!! I remember I saw this on tv and I remember the scared straight ep. I know BIKES! Love 🤭😅😆😆❤️❤️

The original scared straight was 1978, the one in 1999 was scared straight, 20 years later. In 78 they showed it on TV uncensored with all the swear words. This was before our town had cable.

@eyeseer1

2 жыл бұрын

Saw both, still remember the inmate who took out his glass eye to the kids.

I heart your materials. Funny af bud. Genuinely gut wrenching lol

I love this part of the comedy special

Lol, I think of this bit occasionally. BIKES!

"you get one" "all right i'm gonna make this shit count" what a marriage, you see the communication, the understanding

I forgot how much I love this guy!

I've watched this like 8 times over 2 days and I can't get enough......

Can you imagine going bike shopping and Tom Segura yelling bikes at you and tell u not to do drugs?

Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Look. I love comedy. I love comedians and I love to laugh. This sketch came up on my feed and I was driving listening to it. I’ve known of Tom Segura for awhile but never watched a special. This story right here, has made him my new comedian I listen to all day!!! I think I’ve seen everything Bill Burr has done and thankfully I’ve found TS. I’ve watched a lot of his shorts, but I’ve seen this 1000 times and shared it with EVERYONE. I can’t stop laughing and screaming Bikes! He reminds me of a blue collar family guy I would work with. And his black guys voices are classic.

I love you. And all your works posted ❤❤

This dude is too funny to be true LOL!

This is the first seguraism that hooked me

Since I’ve seen this, I do this now. Thanks Tom.

My favorite bike joke!

My 3 kids, 12, 6 and 5 all yell this each time they go outside to ride BIKES

Do a clip of the Sam joke! Hi Saaam, how was your weeekeend?

just looked for that episode... up next!

This is tremendous!