"She's a pastry chef and a sniper" Love that part.

"Are you OK Bret?" "Please get out of here I'm having a shower." "OK, I was in here first, you came in here, clothes on, crying."

"i dont think you should do it man, youre too easily offended" "i cant believe you just said that"

I lived in New Zealand when I was about 5-6 in the early 90s, and I remember a lot of kids (including myself and my siblings) wore sweatshirts and t-shirts like Bret's, with big animal pictures on them

"Just because you've been exploring my mouth, doesn't mean you get to take an expedition further south." ROFL!

"She's got two jobs, she's a pastry chef and a sniper"

So true...he is such a cutie pies...those big brown eyes totally make me melt too!

i love kiwi humour

"Bye bye David Bowie!" XD Classic.

1:55, "brets angry dance" is my favorite part - but its all great :)

I have SUCH a crush on Bret!

Holy fuck man, him moving the fucking walls is so fucking hilarious, gets me every time. I think that's the funniest thing in the fucking series to me. That any Murray's "fuck you" or that a two man gang is "technically the smallest gang possible".

"Shush baby, shush" hahaha

That baguette bit always cracks me up :D

"He also copies my look." XD

YAAYY BRET!!! Bret? No.. I'm not here... i'm just kidding! LOL He's so cute :P lmao his helmet hair, yesss! lol. lol hisangry dance is amazing, and his look to me is actually when he's thinking and moves his mouth to one side lmao but the scene was awesome lmao! a kiss is not a contract

Nice one, Quin! We're all needy for a weedy shy guy from time to time!

he had lightning bolts on his wanger..... lol.

I love bret so frikking much. myyylove

The part where Murray is calling role (or roll... I don't know) and Bret goes "No." His facial expression is so cute!

jermaine: are you ok bret? bret: can you get out of here? im taking a shower. jermaine: mnnwnnmmnmnjnwenm crying ....

Fucking lost it when Bret said shes a pastry chef and a sniper

Oscar winner Bret McKenzie.

6.35 is so great!! xD "Flip!" oh god, fantastic. And 3.01 is so...pathetic :') And, "do you think I dress too provocatively?" Bret is so fantastic.

Love love love the Footloose spoof at 1:46!

HAHA thankS! I couldn't tell what was in the jars lol.

Secret projects, favorite boxes, "Bret, You Got it Going On"

hahahahahah Brets the bestt!!!

yeah i'm not eating anymore i'm a bit too fat...classic

i asked the same thing about the seahorses.....

6:10 Ohhh man! I love that! That's hilarious.

see ya later deckhids!

Bret is so adorable xD lmao

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! It's the easiest joke they've ever done yet I laugh my ass off everytime I hear him say it. Why does everyone think Jemaine is soooo great? Bret is fluppin awesome.

he's only like 12 years older than me. .. .um yay! about something. ^_^

ah FLIP!!

SOS part 11. It took me a long time to piece some of this part of my life together. There are strange things that happens almost daily to people, and most of the time we forget about. If I was able to write every experience, with every gesture and every insinuation and every nuance, the length of time it would take for me to write would almost be longer than the actual occurrence I would be trying to write about. To try and explain every aspect of certain situations in my life would mean I would essentially be writing a series of novels that could be compiled into an encyclopedia set. Typewriters definitely are more advantageous than writing on a cellphone. Typewriters can't be wiped out with an electrical surge and there is no electrical hum pointed at your head as you're writing. When my life fell apart I was reliant on a piece of technology I never wanted to be. No one would talk to me, no one would acknowledge me even, so my only outlet was the cellphone to write. I tried to write daily, especially when I first realized how fucked up this world was. I realized my phone was hacked and constantly tried to ask questions. No straight forward answers as usual. I would try to find answers, then think for awhile, then sometimes write my thoughts, sometimes write whatever answer I thought was reasonable. Alot of the time I was venting my frustrations, as I've been forced to when I was a child and again since my divorce. When I was renting a room in Parry Sound the second time I was there after my life fell apart I couldn't think properly and I had all these photos that looked all messed up, and like I said I'm sure they were drugging me. I did have beers sometimes and smoked weed, but I saw that my room would be entered when I went out and food that I was forced to get from the food bank was horrible. Before my divorce I noticed my teeth starting to get bad, was starting to suck my teeth because of a space that was developing in my molars. When I would get food from that food bank my teeth got worse and I started to sweat and sometimes feel dizzy or inert, as I've mentioned before. When I would go to the food bank I would tell them I was a vegetarian now and they always tried to put meat products in with what they gave me and I always have very little compared to others. Everytime I go to the foodbank they don't seem to understand what vegetarian is, or they don't care. It feels like punishment more than anything and they do mock subtly. As bizarre as this sounds someone who smelled really bad had left deodorant stains on a halter top I had left with my belongings that I wore. At that time I still had travelled with a knapsack, a suitcase and my hard-case acoustic guitar. The previous time I still had my cats and was using a cart and had alot more of my belongings with me, including my artwork. That first time was when Kathy said my supposed niece, who I knew as Giselle, had changed her name to Emma and she said I could stay at her apartment. I didn't recognize her. That was a very bizarre time in my life. I already was wondering why they were up there in the first place, why they had lied about always living there for as long as they said they did, when I knew they didn't. A daily occurrence of lies and dramas that happened almost daily around that time, and throughout my life. I've heard people in the past say there is no real law and that our government is bullshit. I always knew it was sort of, but had no idea how corrupt and pointless it really is. They all knew most of my life that they never needed to adhere to any law I'm sure. When I was young and told the authorities that I had been molested, when I finally did tell Mrs. Rust, I never received any justice, I never went to court. The story they gave me, which is utter nonsense, is that they were investigating him and then he managed to move away back to Hong Kong and sell his restaurant he owned within a period of about a month. I was a kid so I believed them and accepted my life, tried to forget about it and move on with my life. Anytime I had been to court I've realized how unprofessional it almost always was. When I was young I went to visit a friend at that time at her school. I'm almost sure it was Sarah Dunlop from the grouphome. She was going to Brock, I never went there, it was a trade school. We got invited to get drunk with a guy and I came back to her school where a female randomly decided I was too hyper and loud and that she’d take it upon herself to beat me up for my personality that was apparently bothering all of them. I got arrested before that happened, but I wasn't the only one who was drunk. I went to court, I met a legal aid lawyer again that worked with youth. I was given him as a lawyer for the fraud charges. He helped me and went to court for me even though it was a misdemeanor, and they didn't even want a lawyer present I'm sure of it now. The judge told me for some reason that I bite the hands that feed me and was given a fifty dollar fine. If that was foreshadowing and a justification for abuse throughout my life, then that's how corrupt this system is. There are certain things that never had a right to be around me nor involve themselves in my life, especially considering their vehement and vindictive behavior and feelings, if you can call it feeling at all really, that they had towards me. But the last eight years or so has been absolutely corrupt and horrible. It didn't matter what I did to try and find someone within the government or police that were honest, it never resulted in answers. I saw things about this country that I never thought I'd ever see. When I was young I sort of believed there was some laws. I absolutely know now that there is no law on this planet that some disgusting creatures aren't above or exempt from. They should tell people that. They should say outright and publicly that there are people that are considered nothing and have no rights and that other things exist that are able to do whatever they want to others with no repercussions and even blame others with no representation or verbalized confrontation. They should say that people like me will be abused and ignored and not told truths. They should say we are considered different if we are, and they should say that we are resented, as I am and mostly was, and they should say we have no rights, as is obvious these days that I don't. I know the world is not what I thought it was, and I know some police are not the same as the corruption I see these days. There was times when police would randomly pick me up if I was hitchhiking with friends and return me to the grouphome, there was others that simply kept their eye on me I'm sure. Some would ask me for my name but not bother to arrest me and return me. Sometimes I lied, sometimes I still used that Jennifer chick’s name, but it was obvious I couldn't say her name properly. Besides I had no hair except for a chelsea and the ponytail, and later the dewrag and hair that looked bad because of trying to finally grow it out in Toronto. I wasn't white either but they never checked apparently or chose not to, because they knew when I lied or they knew me probably most of the time. One time when I was young I ran with my friend Sarah Turner, to Toronto. I hadn't ever been here in this city alone except for the one football game we went to before we started rebelling. It was the Ti-cats and the Astros and we were allowed to take the train by ourselves and watch them. I always thought that they'd never play together though because the Astros are pro-league and I thought the Ti-cats were not. Maybe I'm fucked up, but I don't think so. Sports is not my forte. Anyway I did see the little motorized helmet run around and I know that team wore blue at that time. After that we ran away and experienced a seedier and different side of Toronto. We got into trouble there with a supposed pimp, and we ran, got picked up by police, they let her go but not me, even though we were together. He had offered us a place to stay the guy we met there, a black guy. Back before I knew what pimps were and how they trapped little girls, and he left us alone with his jacket in the room and we stole a hundred dollars roughly from him before we took off. At that time I tried to lie about who I was and the cops said they had a description of a runaway that fit the description of me. The description was so accurate that I had to admit I was who I was, as I watched Sarah walk away. They actually said they'd seen her before working the streets which is such nonsense. We were around twelve, she was about a year older than me.

looks like a tricked photography.. :D

@PowerhouseTom: the song is "She's So Hot- Boom"

They've changed the video I had saved in my library and now all my SOS posts are gone.

My favourite moment also.

It's in the Conchords reel.

I hate Bret for disappearing from public life. It’s also why I love the guy about as much as I’ve ever loved a human being that I’ve never met. McKenzie is everything that’s right with the world.

The eyepatch David Bowie told him to wear in a dream. Oh... Heavens!

3:28 I wish you put in the beginning where Bret was just saying "Yeah, I'd sue them. Sue them"

It's "Bowie." Episode 6 of Seaon 1

no, he can't drink beer. but he drank it to look cool

What's up with the thing that bret keeps saying he needs to go to the toilet? has it something to do with the fact dat jermaine heard him be 'a little bit boulimic' at the party of his grandma or what?

6:14, heavens!

Hey, can someone post the clip of Brett pronouncing his name and its sounds like Brit.

@ronjones-6977

3 жыл бұрын

12 years later and I came here for the same thing. lol

WOW that was a great break down, much better than the Jemaine one!

S.O.S. part 3. I was so tired and scared as I was crossing the country I started realizing it wasn't the same. I saw damage to all the waters and trees even. Cities would seem empty then not. I had never been to B.C. unless when I was a very small child when I was travelling with my mom, but I never expected to see the damage I saw there. The Pacific ocean seemed dead, trees were dying and it was bizarre there. There was alot of drama and problems on the way there. I'd get picked up hitchhiking, sometimes get hit on, sometimes get yelled at for no reason and kicked out of the vehicle. One family that picked me up was swerving into the the gravel sometimes and seemed to even threaten to hit other vehicles. The same traffic was usually around me. Sometimes I'd stand by the road for hours as no one was around, then get picked up and usually there was a strange occurrence and no one acknowledged the environmental damage. I never expected to see the gaudiness of the mountains. I had been up a service road when I was thirteen in Calgary. There was way more trees and less roads back then. After a two day stay in Vancouver, it was a mess there, I stopped on my way back to Ontario in a place called Kapuskasing. The place was empty. The guy I met offered me a place to stay, of course again it was weird. He offered to take me to the next town but drove me to a place first where I was getting nervous. We walked through a forest and along some train tracks. I saw two guys in a boat on the water, one old guy was standing up. We walked to an area where there was very old boathouses and the water was black. There was a van parked there that was almost the same as a guy I knew for years had named Angelo, who gave it to me when I was homeless but it had weird problems, like a long screw that was hanging down just above the road behind the gas tank. It had random electrical problems and I had to get rid of it. The van that was there was empty and had a trailer attached. As we were walking back through the woods I heard a gunshot in the distance to the right of us in the forest, not behind where those boaters were. It was weird. Everywhere I was hitchhiking no one was acknowledging anything. I tried filming it on previous phones then my phones would either start messing up or the footage would seem changed. Even when I tried to record myself the bottom half of my face looked long and weird. I think they were changing my looks so they could change my words. I couldn't take pictures that didn't get changed or blurred. I couldn't get help or answers, I still don't. There's many things that are bizarre about what happened but it all really seemed to be contrived to involve me. Even when I was young. I could never figure out why my foster parents were so abusive from out of nowhere. They'd tear me down alot behind closed doors and then say nice things in public. I had never dealt with anything like that before. I lived with my mom who loved me when I was young. I was bullied alot everywhere I'd go when I moved in with that family. I ended up in grouphomes, there was alot of dramas there as wel and alot would try to start physical confrontations with mel. Alot of my stuff gets ripped off no matter where I go. For eighteen years almost I lived on Barker Ave. in Toronto, and worked in that vicinity most of those years, I realized later how unknown I might be because of that. When my life fell apart the whole neighbourhood went nuts, lots moved away, customers I served at the Beerstore pretended not to know me. Many I didn't recognize started appearing in neighbourhood and I was made homeless and many strangers would harass me. I got beat up by teenagers recently and couldn't fight back because I felt already they were trying to get me in trouble, and they were young. The whole plaza watched and did nothing. They took my bag but dropped it and took my phone. The cops later returned it. I got a letter saying one got probation, but the letter coincidentally had my social worker's name from welfare on the letter as her probation officer. I've never heard of them putting that kind of information on letters to victims before anyway. I think they've been hitting my head on purpose for many times in my life, I think it has something to do with whatever they did to my head, what Kathy did, what doctors wouldn't acknowledge. I think it might be able to be considered attempted murder, but no one cares about anything. Any time I tried to forget about my problems and have beers and listen to music there would be strangers with their phones pointed at me and sometimes I'd film myself since I had no one to talk to. I was used to being married and jamming and partying on weekends. I've never felt so scared and alone in my life except when I was a little girl. I think they wanted it to look like I was having a good time when they'd film me drinking beer. They isolated me, still do and I had no one to talk to and they'd swarm around me with cars and make faces or point their phones at me or even threaten me. Some would make gun gestures with their hands. I got picked up by a guy and when I was getting out I saw the muzzle of a rifle in the back seat. Some would drive by in droves and point or nod at me as I walked past as though they were identifying me. I knew none of them that I could see. They would mock me, I didn't know them. I had no one to talk to, still don't. It's been eight years. I'd start yelling at the traffic or to myself, I still do sometimes when I think about how unfair my life is and was. Sometimes I was so angry at the state of this country and how I was being treated I would capitulate between yelling, laughing and crying. I still do these days but I'm sure it's to make me seem crazy to defamate my reputation and sanity. And sometimes I know I was drugged. They tried to make me seem like a drug addict. A few times I'd find syringes where they weren't in places of stay or sleep. Once though I had a syringe to try and fix a line that was put on my face before my divorce by a plastic surgeon. I'll explain that situation later.

0:07 awweee!

HAHAH. How did he fall off the chair? XD

i would marry bret

3:04 awesome!!

Which one? The "A kiss is not a contract" song or "Foux de Fa Fa"? Either way, type tthe above two into search youtube and you'll find them.

SOS part 9. There's alot of things I realized about control and influence. They say there's good eyes and bad eyes. That's bullshit. Any one human knows controlling anyone else for any reason is unacceptable. We're simply torn between two types of manipulators. I started to realize the difference between students and the influences back then. I started to see how some kids were messed with in many ways. One time I was in class and got really filled with anxiety and had a breakdown as I was giving a project lecture. I'm sure that Amy chick who was always putting me down and smiling when my hair was cut as I was crying was putting the stare on me. There are things that we think are accidents and later we realize, if we're lucky, that they're not. They are horrible beings, we don't see them, we don't know what they are. I realized recently that all schools I went to that I thought I was learning in, was really probably them learning to control us. When my life was apart and I was on the street, there was all kinds of influences and I started to realize just how controlled I was as things around me goaded and harassed in the most disgusting ways I saw examples of it in me and others around. They use drugs that inhibit our thoughts. It's not magic. I would sit inert, barely able to cry while thinking about all that had happened to me. Sometimes I felt numb and I thought about the drugs they used on a kid of a supposed friend I knew, who they said was hyper and how he acted after he was on them. He was silent and inert. I don't think any kid should ever be that way. I couldn't recall certain memories, I believe that's inhibitors. They study our minds and learn mind patterns. It's not rocket science. Our minds have centres, physical control centres, emotional centres and they can send pulses to the mind that stimulates emotions and physical movements. Like the ‘'I smell burnt toast’ commercial we had on T.V. when we were young. Ominous. I'm not sure how the things around us send signals but they do. They literally mentally blind us and control us and the Rusts and Kathy are those things I'm sure. We are their puppets, I don't know why, but I know they keep us from each other and cause rifts between us. They use people and animals as toys and stimulate. I saw it over and over again. I was staying in a building and I saw a black girl with a twisted eye with a white girl and they were giggling meanly at me. I was sitting on a curb and a white kid and a black kid came near me and the black kid called me a name unprovoked as the other kid looked at him. They are cowards. They use people to speak for them. I bought a ticket at the Go station at around that time and somehow left it after I purchased it and immediately two rotund, vibrantly blue-eyed security guards got on at the next station or so and asked me for my ticket. I couldn't find it and realized I had been influenced again. They could've called the station and confirmed my purchase but they didn't and fined me $100. They're also petty thieves. They use their powers to rape women also. I know when I met John Crews I was young and desperate, but he also had this repulsive round and hard gut. He was really not attractive and strangely enough I have no pictures of him. I tore them all up. They drugged me once when I was living on Warden Ave. and I woke up to a guy that was there trying to put his dick in my mouth. I tried to shove him away and blacked out. That was probably drugs. When I woke up I had a shower immediately and called Guin. She told me to go to the hospital and they did a rape kit but of course there was no evidence. Crying in the shower after an assault is weird behavior, that was probably influence. The cops claimed to have talked to him. They said something weird, they said he probably rapes his sister, but they didn't charge him. I saw the guy with John after and said something. Almost every time I try to confront my words don't come out properly though. John Crews took a swing at him. He ran and I never saw him or those guys I hung out with again. I could be made to look stupid in public, it's really not always our fault like they say it is or necessarily drunkeness. They truly can make us stupid and mock with their influence as we make asses of ourselves. They can stare at us and make us trip over our words or forget a word we wanted to say. It's not magical, it's not a miracle, it's evil. No control is acceptable as far as I'm concerned. I was so mad when I realized how little control we have in our lives and that they still use slavery. I'm so mad how they use others to speak for them or fight for them. How they kill us with our own minds. Some get depression, some smoke cigarettes like I have been since I was twelve years old. Once when we had our laptop and I was getting divorced I was sitting on-line for the first time looking for answers and unaware of the specimen I had become, and I was smoking cigarette after cigarette for an hour or more straight. It was later I realized how I was being stimulated. It was no accident that I started smoking either at barely twelve years old, and it was the same chick in public school who always said nasty things that offered me my first cigarette. Our nan had caught us, well Pauline really, pretending to smoke like her and made us sit at the table and smoke. I cried but didn't end up having to smoke the whole cigarette. They steal, they abuse, they humiliate and they kill with their minds against our own will. They are an evil race. I'm not them. People like us are meant to die young. They chain our minds and figure out different ways to kill us. We are usually not white. Those that do this to us are something that changes. They get fat and then skinny, they get really bulbous. They are not human. Cell phones are the cause these days for much of it, television is another stimulator I figured out, but there are those that are simply around us that can cause that. Back when I was young those stimulations could be from only those closest to us. There was no cellphones and laptops in our schools. There was no cellphone when Mrs. Rust would turn all ‘'children of the corn’ on me, and yes there was nasty influences in that house, but not only in that house. Whatever they are, they are perverse and cruel and disgusting. Then I saw the ultimate control and manipulation lately as I watched nature do a dance and tell a story using flocks of birds. It was fascinating but also sad. I'm like that. We are all puppets to things that control every aspect of our lives. I was realizing about how animals behave and how my dog behaved. How I saw a guy say the word ‘piss’ and as he said that his dog immediately pissed in an urgent way. I was so disturbed. I was angry. It's cruel. I remembered about how Chimo started developing a piss problem when I was with that drunk, how John used it as an excuse for bitching at me and stressed me out. How one day crossing the street my dog Chimo started urgently shitting in the middle of the road. I was so pissed off but now I remember a car that was there as that happened. All these things in life seem like accidents but sometimes I questioned some of them. There was many times I would ask why something would happen. I told Alex I felt something in my head sometimes, like I could reach into the centre of my brain and pull it out. Sometimes when we would fight I would feel it. He would say it's not my fault, as though he knew something. He had that influence over me. He did many hurtful and nasty things that I realized about later, but probably not nearly as nasty as the females. I'm sure it's the females that mostly shock me these days. They're petty and very heartless and very competitive. They don't seem to ever lose their lust for control. I compared it to when our dog Frisky wouldn't listen so I locked her in the closet when I was around ten years old. These things never grow out of that mentality. Almost anything around me had influence I'm sure. But for all the influences around me, no one could make me cruel. I lost my temper with my pets sometimes, cried and apologized profusely afterwards. Was never consistently cruel for entire periods of my life. No one who ever abuses me does apologize. Mrs. Rust only apologized slightly after she put me outside in my underwear in front of males and laughed at me with them saying maybe it was mean. Ya think? That situation felt contrived as well as I said. I think some of them literally enjoy human misery and sorrow. I think they're really sick. They do things that I would never do. I've never killed anything larger than an insect deliberately, never scarred anyone or deformed anyone and never would. I've been jealous but never scarred someone's face ever. I've never hit on a friend's boyfriend and they have almost all done that to me. They'd get jealous though if I'd talk to their boyfriends. Hypocrites as well. That's another thing I've learned about them. Vain and egotistical, controlling and cruel and hypocritical. The fact is they're not human and we are, or at least half human and they make us slaves and they make our lives miserable and they usually live way longer than we do. And the other thing I've learned about them is they have no true honest values. They don't care for honesty but they know how to seem like they do. Like I've said, the Rusts seemed like normal people but they're not.

Oh flup

SOS part 6 So why do I think it's a big conspiracy and they'll say I'm crazy and paranoid because of it? Because of the abuse and how random and unprovoked it was. Our foster parents were very pale, blue eyed beings with long limbs, well Mrs. Rust had shrunk when I last saw her at Pauline's (my other foster sister who is supposed to be a real blood sister to Kathy) funeral. I never understood why I even went to them, why I was taken from my mom, and they were cold from day one. They lied to me about my mom, about me, for many years. I was molested as a child by my mom's boss, but I was told I was taken from my mom at two years old, went back with my mom at three and back to the Rusts at four years old, so I always told people I was molested when I was two, because I was with my mom and I remembered us travelling to the States with her the more recent time I was with her. They messed my head badly. It wasn't until much later I realized I was standing and talking so I was older. I also realized when we were travelling to the States I was alot older than three or four. I realized recently how much I had been lied to and how I looked a liar because of it. That's cruel to mess with a kids head the way they did mine. They messed up alot of my memories, just as they have again recently. They cut my belly when I went to them and said I had a hernia. I know it's not true, especially since I have twitches in my belly also now. They did a really horrible job too, with no regard to my physical beauty. It looks like it was done with a steak knife really. They did that at McMaster Hospital on the mountain in Hamilton. It was horrible. I was nauseous and the nurse forced me to eat when I said I didn't feel like it. After I vomitted she said, “What's the matter, you don't like spaghetti?” Cruel. There was alot of cruel adults in my life. When I was on my phone and looking for answers when my life fell apart, someone had written ‘''Go with your gut”. I started to think already at that time it was a sick game. I think I was six or seven maybe even eight when they cut me open. They told me they had initially found a hernia when I was two and again later, but I don't believe that. I don't remember being sore when I was really young, I don't remember any scars and I do have memories of playing as a small child. It's obvious they didn't care how I looked. It got badly infected when I was at their cottage in Bracebridge. There was a bad storm that night too when they were taking me to the hospital. A tree had fallen on the road we were travelling and at the hospital the power went out. The Rusts started goading me not long after my arrival at their house, punishing me unfairly, calling me names and saying I was spoiled. They punished me for the smallest things and sometimes would do it on purpose for no reason. Sometimes telling me to go to bed halfway through a T.V. show were watching. They started sending me to my room with poor excuses and I'd cry, then I'd hear them laughing and cry louder. I started having tantrums, I never did with my mom that I ever remember. They would often say I was lucky because I had my real parents, but I didn't and they would give me one less present at Christmas and say Pauline and Kathy got a special gift because I had parents. It hurt alot and I couldn't describe the mental abuse to anyone, I barely understood it. I had no one to talk to back then. I was just a child. She would use certain tones of voice and belittle me for no reason. I started to write in a diary and for some reason they found the first one and handed it in to Children's Aid. I had written that I wished they were dead. The second diary I had I was at Nan Rust's and staying there for some reason overnight, and she said she found it and that it fell open in front of her as she was cleaning my room and the words she saw were so disturbing! First of all, I wasn't there long enough to have my room cleaned. Second of all, she was far sighted and need glasses to see anything close-up. Third of all she had a bad hip so she shouldn't have bending over at all. They handed that diary in to Children's Aid and the social worker berrated me and said I was disrespectful to those who were nice enough to care for me. My worker at that time was a miserable old lady I hated named Betty Hill. At our first house on Myer's Lane in Burlinton, she had invited her family from Scotland. Her sister-in- law, or soon to be(I don't think they ever married) was on the phone long distance supposedly about her sick father. Mrs. Rust decided to come into the room and start with me. When I started to argue back she got more irate and I started to raise my voice and cry. Instead of taking me to the basement, because she said I was disturbing Margot as she was having an important phonecall, she took me outside in my underwear only as the males in her family laughed at me. I honestly believe she's psycho. You'd never know it though. In public they seemed normal. They took us on vacations to England and Scotland. Took us to Florida and even Bermuda, but there was usually a problem or drama if we were alone or with her family. She would punish me with food, they ate different food than us often. They'd have steak and potatoes and we'd get spaghetti with sauce only. She made me sit at the table and tried to force me to eat liver as I cried and gagged. She overcooked vegetables so I thought most of them were crap. In public or family situations it was different. We’d eat the same as others and she wasn't as psycho. She'd give horrible lunches that I often threw away. I sometimes begged for good from classmates and was actually shamed a few times. Once I asked a friend if she could ask her mom to make me a sandwich, she asked and said no, and I felt ashamed. They always said food was expensive and sometimes said when I get a job I can eat whatever I want. Pauline and me and Kathy all left the home as teenagers. I started running away young. Kathy showed me how to climb out the window and cross the roof to the neighbour's fence. I would run away for an hour or so, cry. I found a place by the creek, back when the water was still full and had life. I would watch the ducks and sit in a tunnel. Once I ran to the church and tried to hide in their closet. They found me right away. I don't even think there was a reason for them to open the closet. We had moved to a bigger home on Hampton Court. Kathy left home when she was sixteen. Pauline and me got separated and Pauline went to a group home in Park Hill and I went to a foster home in Freelton for a week or so. I came back, Pauline didn't. That was after we both ran away to Kathy in Hamilton the first time. Then Mrs. Rust started getting nasty again. She would come into my room and start fights unprovoked. One time she opened the door when I was reading in bed, we had a new dog at that time. I sensed she was looking to start a fight, so did the dog. She started with me and was glowering at me and the dog growled. She challenged the dog and the dog bit her. She started to bleed from the chin and they left for the hospital. She got a couple of stitches and had a V-shaped cut in her chin. Shortly after that the dog attacked me and she asked me if we should put it down, I was mad and said yes. I think she caused it all. She was evil. I was only a kid. Even Alex said that shouldn't have been my responsibility. They looked good on the outside. They went to church, held down jobs, had money, went on vacations. But there was something really sick about her and them really. I was a really sad kid, but honestly I was polite and good. She always tried to cause problems and always made it seem it was my fault. They tried to make me seem unruly and they gave Children's Aid those diaries to make me look like I was. I had nothing else. I had no one at that time who would help me or talk to me. I had a few workers that were kind, but they never lasted. They would say I was good kid, a kind kid, a polite kid and then they'd be transferred for some reason. The ones who were nasty usually stayed.

1:56 Damn i feel thirsty!!!

lmao bret is actually quite sexy. I'm surprised. is he full blooded kiwi? or...?

hahahah 4:57 was too cute xD

2:41 haha

SOS part 7 We had other foster kids who stayed with us, but none as long as us. We had some blond girl who was older stay with us on Myers Lane, but not long at all. I don't remember her name. We had a boy named Trent who stayed with us. Blond and blue-eyed, had bad diabetes and had to use a needle daily. Most kids were mean to me. Pauline beat me up alot. Kathy didn't, even seemed to stand up for me sometimes, but she was quiet. There was something I didn't know about her though. There's something about influences and control most of us don't know. There was weird perversions sometimes too as I've written about before, things that I think are inappropriate for children. Movies they'd watch with me sometimes that I personally think were way too sexual for a young child. My mom was in a mental hospital at that time and I would visit her, at first once a month but Mrs. Rust started saying I was hyper after visits with both my mom and dad and tried to make our visits even more spaced out. I was not hyper, I was happy. My mom gave me a ceramic flower and a ceramic dove missing a beak, and I loved anything she gave me. Trent walked into my room one day, threw the flower on the floor and stomped on it. Kathy said she beat him up for that but I don't know. I have no idea why he did that. I do know that Mrs. Rust was very jealous. She would keep me cold, they kept the house cold. Pauline and Kathy had duvets and comforters. I didn't. My mom gave me a blanket that I was told she knitted at the institution. Mrs. Rust didn't let me use it for long and said she was putting it away for safe-keeping. I think it's because I was warm and I felt love. I think they hated when I had warm feelings about anything. I think they enjoyed when I was sad. When I finally did get it back it had a hole in it anyway. I've complained often about the food issues they thrust on us, used food against us alot. I don't know why that happens time and time again, and has been since my life fell apart again. That's one reason I became a vegetarian. She was very strict about manners, but overly so. She was cruel about it to the point that dinnertime was almost miserable and stressful. I don't trust anyone who eats liver anymore, especially since I know what I know about this world now, and she got me to eat tripe once too that was disgusting. Kathy liked it, Pauline would make faces and say it was gross when they served liver, and then changed her mind at the table sometimes. One time at the cottage we were eating corn on the cob and Kathy's had a worm sticking out of it and she started bawling and they were so sympathetic and concerned and made a big deal out of it that I never understood. I think I might’ve even laughed at first and they got upset. And she used to tell any friend she ever introduced me to that I was spoiled and always got my own way and I rarely argued. Sometimes I'd say “No I'm not!” and then she'd laugh as though she was joking, but I have a feeling that she's said worse than that about me to others. Strange things would happen. Once I was carrying a plate behind my head and Kathy said I would drop it. I thought I had a good grip on it and said that I wouldn't but as soon as I said that it was like my hands just let it go and I did. I got in trouble for that too. They knew things they shouldn't have. We were not allowed to chew gum at all, and one time when I was at school I had been given a piece of gum. I liked it so much that at night I put it under my pillow. Mrs. Rust never fluffed my pillow. When she came into the room that night to say good night she acted as though she was fluffing my pillow, but her hand went immediately to the gum. She called Mr. Rust and he put me over his shoulder with my nightgown up and slapped not only my bottom. When I was the last kid in the house on Hampton Court. things didn't change much. We moved there when I was about ten maybe. One day Mrs. Rust came into my bedroom and I could tell she wanted to fight again. I sat up in my bed with my legs hanging down. Words passed between us, she elbowed my leg, I kicked her, she elbowed me again, I kicked her harder and she ran out of the room crying to Mr. Rust. Mr. Rust was really mad. At some point I decided I'd had enough. Oh yeah, and she called Children's Aid after I painted a picture of a cross with a knife in it and the initials K.R. underneath which to me at that time meant Kill Religion and I also had been taught by Kathy F.T.W., so I also had painted that at the same time. She picked up the phone and said apparently she was concerned. She said it was because I was drawing bloody crosses though and said they said it was a phase. I found out later she was saying alot more disgusting things than that to Children's Aid. How I left that house, I think was all contrived. We were fighting. I had already run once to Kathy as I said before, Pauline was no longer living there and I decided to get my stuff that was in the basement. I must've been planning on moving in there from upstairs. She wouldn't move out of the way so I shoved her, I shoved her harder, then Mr. Rust who was in the basement started pushing the door from the other side, and her head was being banged by him more than me. I ran around to the side basement door, kicked it in and grabbed my stuff and ran. The cops must’ve picked me up because I was brought back, she didn't press charges and the cop said how nice she was for that. I didn't want to stay. I went to Ross and Sue's. I always wondered why my dad never let me live with him, especially after he was married and got a house, but I went to him. He said I had to go to school. I was not there long at all. I partied with my friend at the time Sarah Turner, got drunk and lied and said I was babysitting. When I got back they flipped, came into my room and Sue grabbed me by the arms and dug her nails in. I decided already I wasn't going to tolerate anymore abuse. I tried to run but Ross caught me and walloped me across the face. The cops showed up and I said I didn't want to live there either. I'd had enough. I went to my first grouphome at twelve years old. It was behind the funeral home in Burlington. Again dramas and problems with bullying and chicks and others in that town wanting to beat me up. Again the social workers would be mean and again I was writing in a journal book that they made us keep and again I would write expletives. They made food an issue there too. Sometimes we would get donations from places and often it would mouldy. They insisted I go on the pill even though I wasn't sexually active, I was shortly after though. After a girl Julie threatened to beat me up I ran to Pauline's, stayed with her for awhile, then ran to Kathy. Pauline had just had Deborah. I was babysitting sometimes and after awhile felt used. Her baby's father Mike ran at me naked once. We ran up her phone bill on purpose, she said to get back at the Rusts. She was given a house and she told me once it was just another way for the Rusts to control her. She started dating another guy at the same time as Mike named Ben. We all left to Brampton and Bramalea in a cab. I don't know how we got the money for it. Strange events happened there. Pauline made me go stay with a stranger, a dark-skinned guy, and I drank a coffee and there was blue stuff all over the bottom. I felt sick, I got scared. I asked his mom to drive me to where Pauline was staying. I tried to vomit and couldn't and slept under the crib. I had my 13th Birthday there. I babysat Deborah and Pauline bought me beer and they went out. Shortly after is when Kathy took me out west and did what she did to me. Kathy was living with a red-head named Jennifer. She separated me from Pauline. Once Pauline showed up and Kathy put me in her closet and said to be quiet. I could hear Pauline really mad and asking where I was. That's when Kathy said she took her roommate's ID and gave it to me and took my ID and said she'd give it back. I never could pronounce her roommate's last name properly. I don't remember how I met her cousin she was dating named Trevor. She had a car and didn't have a license. Strangely enough she had attended CALC for a while because we drove to that school she said to pick something up. She got stuck on a car pulling out of the parking lot. Trevor, Kathy and I drove across Canada and Kathy got welfare cheques in different provinces. Sometimes they siphoned gas to make it there. Her cousin/boyfriend had a horrible temper and threw their dog against the car one time. All I saw was their dog fly at the windshield. The dog flew into the car after shaking and I was hugging him and almost in tears as Kathy was telling me to shut up.We stopped in a place called Lethbridge and went to friend of hers. There was some kind of love triangle or something with her friend. Trevor and her had a fight and at some point her and I went to Calgary to find her supposed other half-sister who she said was named Shelby.

@UKMatt123 Tis gone = ( know any other places?

What is he saying around 4:25?

what the balls, did you just type "laughing on the floor laughing"? o.o

2:25 I laughed so hard

S.O.S Part 2 It wasn't until after I realized that the water across this country had been damaged. I was getting swarmed by traffic, threatened with gestures and harassed by traffic, cars were swerving towards me sometimes. No one ever said why. I was so confused and unsure and still in awe of what had happened to my life and what I was seeing around me. The fact that family and friends allowed what happened to me to happen made me realize they never were, but the situation is so big that they wouldn't even let me reach real cops, not even a real human right's representative. I'm still going to try to find help. I think that Kathy having my identification might have been doing things and hurting others with my name. Cops and the Service Ontario office I went to wouldn't acknowledge that my identification didn't match even though I had the same picture taken on the same day for both my health card and my driver's license. One cop said they slightly looked different, others outright denied it. Again I tried to tell him they were supposed to be the same picture. All my photographs were changed and it took me awhile to realize it. They've been violating my rights most of my life and no matter what I try these days I can't access normal internet or phone calls. I'm not going to stop writing, as bizarre as it seems, until someone verbalizes the truth and explains to me. I think they deny me access to normal people and have convinced them I'm being isolated legally, but I'm not. No one tells me anything. I haven't had any kind of answers nor representation all these years I've been getting terrorized and harassed. They've done many disgusting things to me. I think they block my phone and my internet so that real people don't hear what I'm trying to say. I'm scared for my health still and my life and I have been alone and lonely for eight years without honest explanation as to why. They are violating my human rights all the time and for some reason are able to. I even tried to go to the Human Right's Commission in Toronto but it was strange. The building seemed empty and they didn't seem willing to help. They made me talk to someone on the phone about my being molested when I was young, but couldn't even explain all the problems I was having. They only seemed interested in that aspect and I couldn't verbalize all of what was happening, it all seemed unreal. I won't shut up. I won't let these things lie about who I am. I don't have a big nose like Kathy, I never had blond hair like she did when she dyed it when we were young, and I never get fat, and I usually was dark, even through most of the winter, until lately. She says she's Cree Indian, but she's almost always been pale. She has green eyes, I have brown eyes. My hair gets damaged for no reason. It did with my husband and I couldn't understand why. I woke up to a waterfall of split ends in my hair and had to look for a hairdresser that would help me. Two places said they wanted to cut my hair right off. That's when I found Jackie, an asian lady working in a black salon who offered to trim the ends of my hair.I think they put peroxide in my products sometimes. My hair is damaged again now. I think they do so because I have brown hair and Kathy had more reddish hair the last time I saw her, and she didn't even have the decency to confront me and kicked me out unprovoked as I was trying to understand what was happening. I'm sure she'd say otherwise. They've damaged my face, my hair, my life, my reputation, throughout my life and they still don't say why, they still don't care about giving me the justice I deserve. I will still try to go to the RCMP in person but if that doesn't work I will not give up looking for the help I deserve. My foster parents and sisters were very abusive and even then I couldn't find help or acknowledgement from social workers, anyone really. Before I even understood what was going on, I was on the streets and most were acting like they didn't know me. I've played live shows, I did customer service in this city many years and everyone acted as though they didn't know me anymore and even walk past me without so much as a look, and total strangers would say they did know me. These things have not told me anything and these things deny me access to any justice or representation and what they're doing is not only cruel, it's unjust and illegal to make a woman live eight years in fear and not have one verbalized explanation. This is corruption. They still drug me sometimes somehow, as they were when I was running around this province and country scared. Maybe my cigarettes, sometimes before it was coffees or beer. I smoke weed, but I can feel dryness in my mouth after I smoke a cigarette sometimes. They tried to make me seem like I was whoring when I was first forced to the streets, and I was forced to hitchhike places after everyone I knew refused to help me. They made me hitchhike to see a place for rent from a shelter. Strange guys would offer me to stay with them and I was so exhausted that I'd take them up on the offer and of course they'd hit on me. I didn't sleep with them, but I'm sure they said I did. Most acted as though they knew me in ways though, or at least about me. Strange but I didn't know them, but I was sure they were deliberately around me offering me a place to stay, usually after traffic swarmed me and I slept in parks or even parkinglots for days at a time. No one around me offered me any verbalized help and when they did help me it usually made me look bad, like giving me money as I was getting out of their car, like I was whoring. It was cruel. All that time I still was thinking about why no one cared. All my so-called friends know who I am, knew I was a camper, knew I wasn't a drug addict and knew I had a husband (who turned out to be a phony), and knew I was employed for a long time but getting harassed constantly and didn't tell me the truth nor help me how a real friend would when everything fell apart in my life. They've changed documents. They changed my divorce papers. They've changed dates and times of most of my paperwork and I've been so upset and my life has been in so much turmoil, usually a new problem and drama a day, that it was difficult to keep track of time. They've had me signing suspicious paperwork at shelters I was forced to stay at and my signature had been messed up since I went back to my maiden name. When I was twelve Kathy Rust asked me to cash cheques for her before we went to Calgary. When I got back I was charged with fraud but I never ratted on her. All my so-called friends know these stories and more and they won't even talk to me and they were very confrontational and seemed to try and reverse the blame for their anger. All my so-called friends that knew me from when I was fifteen years old knew that story. I'm not going to let them lie about me and I'm not going to be complacent just because after years of horrible abuse and terror I have an address now. I never should have had done to me what they did throughout my life. I know now that the Rusts and Kathy, most of my foster family and even those I thought were real parents are not what they ever should have been. I started realizing that a long time ago. I know people are not all people and some of us are truly slaves to nasty creatures who have egos that supercede their worth. Everything they've done to me is illegal since my divorce and previous to that even and no one helps me. No one even talks to me. It's cruel and I think these things hope I'll fade away and everyone will believe their lies, even though many knew me. I think whatever they did to me was planned for a very long time, ever since Kathy took me to Calgary and even beforehand.

He's asking Jemaine why he's moving out... asking him if it's because of his mold farm (which he's pointing to)... then calls it by it's scientific name "aspliglius furnacis"... or something along those lines, sadly I don't have much knowledge of fungus -- I don't know if it really means anything of if Bret just made it up. Either way -- fuckin hilarious.

Wed. Jan. 8, 2020 I woke up early being twitched. They're also slamming doors and making noise in the hall, but they still shock me anyway. Disgusting creatures with no human emotions or morals is a fact. I can hear a chair moving around either downstairs or near hear, because I'm not sure how sound travels in this building, early this morning. As though shifts exist of nasty creatures that observe me with no right to nor consent, possibly are what shocks me. It sounds like a chair being pulled up to something, like maybe a desk or monitor? Psychos, disgusting abusive psychos who I think watch the result of the cruel things they do to us. I've been thinking on and off about Alex's advertisement for his band, how it almost looked theatrical and how he moved into a house I initially rented with Scott, then he moved in and brought red curtains that look theatrical and wrote that song 'Freakshow'. I think they're all demented and cruel for what they do to me, for what they did to me. I honestly believe they took me from my mom and occasionally abused me, well technically my whole life, but I think these sick fucks wanted to watch me decline after that shit was put in my head. I had no idea how demented life is and how sick this government is. I don't know what to do though because there is no one kind and honest anymore. I wish all who do this to me and who did this to me to suffer the way I have all my life. They're truly sick. By the way, Dr. Wong diagnosed me as a schizophrenic the first time he met me and all he did was check my blood pressure and heart. He talked to me for ten minutes with my so-called husband at that time and both seemed more interested in accusing my mental health rather than physical health. It's evil what they do to people, how they lie to people and about people. Demented and psychotic is what they are. A victim and scared and lonely is what I am. 2. No matter what they claim or try to say, they did this to me as a little girl they're so sick in the head. And ever since made me seem like an idiot and a drug addict and later after my life fell apart even worse, a whore and drug addict. They divvied up all my belongings between them, stole from me, ruined my life and no one cares. I left CD's and my dresser painting and cats with Scott, only never to see them again. I gave Kathy my silverware for some reason to hold on to, never will see that again, Alex got all my tapes and our wedding album and wedding present and most of the CD collection. My neighbours across the street got the cart Alex bought me that wasn't screwed up and cumbersome. The landlord got everything else I couldn't take, like an almost new washer and dryer. They insinuated it was payment for something and I can only assume for what Kathy did to me when I was a teenager, only they did their best to make it seem it seem like I did it to myself when I was older. That's bullshit and they know it and I know it, and they're the psychos that have no guilt or shame about what they've done to me and are still doing. These idiots think they have the right to abuse and harass more someone they've abused and harassed all my life. They have no guilt conscience; PSYCHOPATHS! Textbook case of guiltless, loveless, cruel and sadistic psychopaths. 3. Anyone who abuses children as they did me, is demented. Anyone who brands a person's face like they're livestock is demented. Anyone who pushes people to the street rather than acknowledge their health problems all so they can defer blame is demented. Anyone who denies a person answers, proper healthcare and legal justice is demented. Anyone who thinks a person should be isolated and lonely and mostly scared for eight years and more is demented. It's not what they look like that makes them so reprehensible, its how hateful, selfish and ugly they are inside that makes them so horrible and nasty. This world seems more full of psychos and idiots than people with sincere emotions and willingness to be honest. 4. Here's what I think is absolute fact. People were wormy, unpalatable, so they destroyed lives and broke apart families and tortured children, then decided to worm our minds as vengeance, then people realized and fought back, so the disgusting idiots decided to attack victims who were unaware and blame them. That's how disgusting they are. 5. So here's a question for the disgusting things that tortured my life and me in my sleep these days. Why do you exist? You have no admirable or honest traits or qualities. You don't respect life, you things eat death and kill people, why not just do it to yourselves? Why not eat each other, hunt each other, rape and abuse each other rather than hurt innocent people? If death is what you things like, why not kill yourselves? If misery is what you things like, why not live with each other and leave people alone? Eating flesh is a preference, not a necessity is a fact. You things are evil and selfish, so what's the point in such nasty creatures? 6. I've asked this question many times with no answers. What besides technology and lies do you things have to offer life? You're never honest, you never will be. You teach people qualities and traits that you expect of people like us that you have need to adhere to or uphold at all. You tell people to be polite and most of the time you things are rude, unless trying to impress someone. You tell people to be honest and then spend your entire existence telling lies. You tell people not to be greedy, then murder in untold numbers to stuff your greedy faces. You tell people not to be thieves and then steal from innocent people to stuff your greedy wallets or lay claim to accomplishments that aren't your own. You tell people not to be vain but then have the vanity to think you can invade our thoughts and punish and judge by those thoughts. You tell us to be humble so we'll kiss your egotistical asses even as we're being fucked all the time. You tell humanity to be everything you're not, so what good are you things for?

S.O.S part 5 Doctors don't acknowledge, the news doesn't acknowledge, no one does. And most around ignore people who are fucked up, drooling, snot pouring out of their nose, swaying. Kathy is not the only one I did cocaine with but I realized many things about that time in particular, including the fact she had her back to me when I'm sure she pretended to do a line. That and contrived or all felt and how it burned. I stopped using any heavy drugs in my early to mid-twenties. When I met Alex I wasn't doing anything except drinking beer and smoking weed. I was seventeen years old when I met a strange guy who was twenty-nine, had a hard bulbous stomach and was a drunk named John Crews. He headbutted me when I was nineteen years old, the day before I started C.A.L.C high school. It was the Labour day parade and he had gone to the CNE and got drunk. I wasn't even looking at him when he did. He had given me black eyes before that. The scar has been erased from all my photos, even including my identification. The scar was very noticeable but even I forgot about it after awhile. My boyfriend after that that I met at C.A L.C., Julian smashed my head off the subway wall once and we were having a fight not a brawl.I almost collapsed. I got pins and needles in my arms and legs and couldn't stand up. The subway station was strangely empty then except for a big guy, a TTC worker, who came out to see the commotion, or so I thought at the time. Alex smacked my head at a show, seemed like an accident, I'm not so sure anymore. It really seemed empty then got really full after that happened. That was a Cannibal Corpse show. Two of the big band members also slammed into me aggressively as they walked past me. I even tried to confront them. A bouncer guy or a worker there spoke to me and diffused the situation. A guy I knew who I thought was a friend, who said his name was Tim Smith, (I don't know how many in my life ever use their real names) slammed my head off a pool table at Sneaky Dees, and claimed I chipped his tooth when I tipped his beer bottle as a joke. I didn't chip his tooth, but he slammed my head really hard, and stupidly I still was his friend after that. He used to call that place ‘'Sneaky Disease’, I don't think that's a coincidence anymore. I even have hit my head myself a few times since, fell on the ground when I was doing high kicks at a guy's place that let me stay there when I was homeless, then told me I had to go back to the streets as always. I've also been in some very weird car accidents in my life, got hit in the back of a cab when I was going to get Alex's birthday cake at Baskin Robins and a cop denied my head went through the window as the cab driver distracted everyone with moans and groans and complained of supposed whiplash. I feel like every disgusting guy I've ever known or been with wanted me dead and didn't care about me. I was beautiful, jealousy surrounded me in my foster home and ever since. They've scarred my face repeatedly, deformed my breasts when I was twenty years old, and no doctor acted as though it was unusual and not even the breast specialist told me the truth. They tore me down most of my life. They put a line across my face at East General Hospital before I left that house, because I stupidly saw a plastic surgeon for the cysts that started developing on my face. He injected something over my eyebrow and scarred my face even more. I had bad feelings and knew something was weird about the procedure, but stupidly went along with it anyway. And now I have a deep line across the right side of my cheek that starts over my eyebrow. That was supposed to be an injection that was supposed to swell only the cyst over my eyebrow. My husband knew, he didn't care. He started accusing me of mental problems, he said his step mother had mental problems, they all started lying and didn't care. Most of our marriage I would tell him how they said my mom was schizophrenic and I didn't think so, how the Rusts would say I was going to be when I was just a child and it scared the hell out of me. He used to support me and understand, then it all stopped all at once and he started saying I was and took me to a Dr. Wong who wanted me to admit that I was schizophrenic, even though I still had no clue what was going on with my life or marriage.. All my life when I was beautiful they hated me, when I was on the street, my life in ruins, my reputation ruined and my face in shambles, one or two beings said I was pretty. That's disgusting. You don't know how they used to look at me when I was pretty and what they'd say and do, and now they act as though they're nice and think I'm pretty? That's the extent of their disgusting egos. And for all the abuse I've suffered throughout my life, for all the evil things they've done, not one verbalized confrontation, not one explanation, not one day of justice. They won't even let me get close to real people and justice. They've stolen from me since I was a kid. Even Kathy asked me to give her a pendant my mom supposedly gave me made of white gold and diamonds and an opal. She said she needed money and that she'd give it back, she never did. I was very young, still living with the Rusts. I know they planned it together, whatever she did to my head. They were unnecessarily cruel which is a redundancy in terms as I've said before, I mean they were cruel unprovoked. I was just a child. I don't think things like them make distinctions from adults and children. There's many things that were weird and abusive that they did that I would constantly talk about with those I know. They lied to me about what age I was when I came to them and many other things. Now I live isolated with no friends and with this weird head problem and I get twitches in my arm since my divorce also and other places, sometimes places I really find disturbing and sick. I told the doctor at East General when I was living with Alex still or just divorced. He hooked me up to a machine, I twitched, he jumped, then denied seeing anything and said nothing was wrong. I had an MRI done there also and never got answers for those test results. Shortly after that I was made homeless. I think these things expect me to fade and die unknown with the public thinking I'm responsible for something I never did. I think they're killing many people this way. That's why I think they made me look like a drug- addicted whore. So the public would think I deserve it or I'm Kathy and did this to others. I also think that's why they essentially made me crazy with drugging me with something other than weed, harassing me for years, and making me lonely and afraid for years. They are all sick and demented and the lack of acknowledgement and answers is not only cruel, it's illegal. I think they're telling people they told me what's happening, and they didn't.

S.O.S part 4. On my travels I tried calling Alex sometimes, my ex- husband, but I knew for awhile he didn't love me and I stopped loving him. I realized about the many ways he deceived me. The many shitty things he did and how he didn't care when I went to the streets as others didn't. They did something weird to me at a show I was invited to before I moved out and was homeless. I got drugged and passed out and I think my reaction was weird as I behaved as though it was perfectly acceptable and barely questioned anything (that was happening alot back then, and since really) and left as Alex stayed behind. I noticed something strange about my feminine area but never thought Alex would harm me in any way. I should mention that before our divorce I was sleeping beside him and woke up groggy, and practically fell over on the way to the bathroom. I felt my ear was wet for some reason and ‘down there’, but again didn't think much about it. After I passed out at that show at ‘the Cave’ he didn't act as though anything was unusual either. I ended up with a venereal disease somehow but wasn't sleeping with Alex and didn't cheat on him either. Doctors were giving me exams and PAPs after that, and really they seemed interested more in that aspect of my health than other problems I was having. I did mention twitches in my arm to the first clinics I went to, never complained of any feminine problems because I didn't have any symptoms, but I don't trust any of them. One clinic took five or six vials of blood, I paid them three hundred dollars and I never got a response from them but I did have huge bruises on my arm afterwards and I never bruise after bloodwork. I took pictures, I looked like crap at that time. I started to notice something wrong with my feminine area around the time I had the van and stayed with a female I knew and worked for, Janet (another strange story I'll talk about later), but never thought it was possible because I wasn't with anyone. I was with one guy named Travis around a year after my divorce, which felt horrible and shitty and felt manipulated, but he used a condom. Then the drama with the pigs that started hitting on me while homeless, while strangers filmed me meeting strange guys when they'd offer me a place to stay. I'd see almost the same traffic around me wherever I went, similar cars. All doctors I saw gave me a clean bill of health a few times but I kept insisting something was wrong. I did get paperwork from that a clinic, I think it was that Dynacare labs that took blood and money that said I showed no venereal diseases in the blood samples, but I had given them a sample of something hard that was in my mucus that looked really weird, and that was the main reason I went to them. The feminine problem that I had for years no matter what doctor I went to would acknowledge, is how the hospital managed to do something to me recently. A female at Toronto General Hospital with weird bottom teeth and a twisted eye and long brown hair, who seemed nice at first used a lubricant for the PAP that burned me and my period faded after that. I rinsed myself after the exam because of the burning sensation but I guess it didn't help. I still had feminine problems though. I wrote and I wrote about it on-line, in my e-mails, I was becoming so desperate. A doctor in the area fixed me but lied and said it was ‘'Vaginosis’. Never heard of it. It's not true and I knew it but there was nothing I could do. I had two months worth of periods the following summer and haven't since. I was forty-three years old when she did that to me. Someone tried to tell me it was menopause. I know they're lying. Somehow, either when I was drugged at that show I was invited to, or one of the exams I was given a V.D. I slept with one guy about a year after I was homeless. I think that one night stand with that Travis guy might have been set-up to justify whatever was done to me, make it seem like I was easy. That's only one of many sick and demented problems I've had to deal with after my divorce and made homeless. No one said to me “Sorry you're getting divorced”, no one acted as though anything was unusual at all. I got threatened at a few places I rented after I was made homeless, unprovoked. I called the cops once and they said there was nothing they would do after one creep ran into the roomI was renting and threatened to throw me off the balcony, and they asked if I was banging him. I asked if they were even real cops for asking such a question. I noticed as I was leaving late at night with all my stuff in a cart that the cop car numbers weren't right. I had to call Ross, it was horrible. I was put on the streets again. This city became a joke. Police station division numbers started changing, I saw a car with the number 69 on it and that I have never seen before. Recently I took a picture of a cop car with the number 60 on it which I've also never seen before. Some weird chick with weird teeth that I was talking to recently, who said her name was Faith tried to say it was traffic cops. Bullshit. Whenever people had traffic issues we went to the O.P.P. station at Keele and 401 and I told her that. No one would talk to me, not even as I was sitting in parking lots wondering what was happening. The few who did talk to me almost always said or did something weird and implicative, I'd always realize later. One guy I was buying weed who said his name was James started yelling out loud unprovoked “Get off it!” And I realized later it would make it seem like he's trying to tell me to get off heavy drugs, which I never would deliberately use. He called weed ‘'inspiration’ but always started to yell or get mad unprovoked when I'd meet up with him. Sometimes he was normal. Sometimes he'd be nice and normal when I'd call him, then snap when I'd meet up with him. He gave me a phone to use and I even invited him for Christmas dinner at the place I was renting more recently. That place I was offered by a guy named John who talked to me in a parking lot being the Country Style donuts when I was homeless. I was exhausted and cold and desperate and tired of shelters. It was Oct 31st. The longest I've stayed outdoors. I was outdoors in the winter for a week or so in North Bay before, which was more drama, but when I met that guy I was outside all summer, mostly behind the Canadian Tire or Shopper's world. There was haze almost every day. I left my coffee whitener at their place in the Main apartments once and when I used it when I returned it numbed my tongue. I confronted him and he insisted no one but him came into the apartment, but I started noticing my belongings were being routed through and sometimes damaged. I'd get really upset and confront him and of course he denied it, everyone denies everything I try to confront them on . You don't know the kind of hell I've been through the last eight years. I was losing my patience more and more. The second time I stayed with him and his supposed wife, Susan, who didn't move in until a few weeks after me moving there, I left my belongings on the balcony. They got tampered with less after I did that. Places I'd stay they'd do weird things to my food. I'm a vegetarian now and I'd either find my vegetables I'd buy frozen or rotten. One guy unplugged all the appliances and refused me to use any of them, unprovoked. That's the place they made me hitchhike to to see from a shelter called OWL. Weird things happened there too. I tried to go to the police station in Sturgeon Falls after he did that and refuse to let me make something to eat in his kitchen, wouldn't even let me make coffee, and the cop said he couldn't do anything. They did not seem professional. The secretary looked like a tramp, spiked heels, tight jeans, not what I'm used to, and the cop was talking weird, looked weird and was playing with his ring sometimes. It was after that I tried to call the RCMP from a payphone with no help. If someone says their life has been threatened, cops are supposed to help. One time I was sleeping in the park by the Wal-Mart at V.P. and Eglinton, the electric field behind there, I was under a tarp in the rain, exhausted and scared, so I decided I'd just set-up there and sleep for a while. Cops drove across the park, started being forceful almost immediately and slammed my head into the ground. Considering what I think I know about what's in my head after what Kathy gave me, I think they're all trying to hurt me. I think they hope they'll tear the membrane around my brain and kill me.

@cartersauce1344

4 жыл бұрын

Lisa Hoffman what the fuck

Mon. Feb. 10, 2020 It's another day and another day of me thinking about how fucked up my life is. All morning I've been thinking about different races, different personalities and privileges, how I've been treated all my life. I was thinking about how they engineer life, how they control life and how they presume to call themselves life. I was thinking last night about my so-called family, the things that were done to me by hospitals and doctors, how my family didn't care the way a real family would. No matter what, I know I'm right about my feelings about all of that. It was a simple conclusion I decided last night, if I was ever loved, I would've felt so, I would've been as confident and comfortable as they were. I was thinking again about their accusations of my personality when I was a child that were lies, and I believe a real person would know the truth and never blame children anyway. I think this world and the society that surrounded me are demented, but never seem that way, because birds of a flock stick together. At least one of Alex's lyrics acknowledged that normal is established by numbers rather than the quality of mind. I just happened to be outnumbered by a bunch of selfish and cruel beings who will probably never be known for what they really are. But then I had another realization. I get sad thinking they live long lives and never get the deserved karma for what they all did to me and how it wouldn't matter anyway because they live their lives until old age mostly and vacation and seem normal and upstanding throughout their lives. But I realized they get old, and one day they might be feeble and forced to rely on a scumbag like themselves and they might get the same cruel treatment and be as helpless as I was when I was a child. It probably won't matter anyway, but maybe they'll know how it feels and how it felt for me as a child, if they have feelings that are genuine at all. At some moment in everyone's life they become reliant on another. 2. Even the most powerful or the biggest giant eventually becomes feeble and becomes forced to rely upon another for help, and hopefully all who lied about me and still do, all who deny me justice and truth and answers and legitimate and genuine help will find themselves alone and scared like I am and mostly always was, and find themselves reliant on evil, loveless creatures such as themselves. It's cruel how they isolate and ruin certain peoples lives in favour of their own, but like I was bitching last night, with such redeeming and noble qualities as their own, it's no wonder the world is what it is. I dont believe many in this world know how to be genuinely kind. I hear phoniness and pretense everywhere, what I honestly never hear is a genuine and sincere person. Like I've said before, I don't use terms of endearment like 'hon' or 'sweetheart', because those are words that should only be used if you actually know a person and care and have a close relationship with them. Most use words these days loosely and cheaply. Most display emotions and kindness that are never backed by sincerity. Its easy to look kind, but to be a diamond in the rough and actually be sincere inside oneself seems impossible these days. I was, I was mostly always honest, even though all the scumbags around me say and make it seem otherwise. There's more selfish and opportunistic beings around me that did sick things to me and want to absolve themselves by blaming or demonizing me, and still do. Money and numbers doesn't make for a noble or worthy race or existence, but I don't know if there's anyone who genuinely cares anymore. I feel outnumbered and unfairly treated and unfairly obstructed from a public voice and acknowledgement, and I don't believe anyone around me has enough human emotion to be more compassionate or sincere about why I'm ostracized, why I'm ignored, why I'm lied about and why they abused me most of my life. This medical community won't even be honest and never will be. 3. For a few days now I've was thinking my examination for my intestinal tract problems, which were probably created by them anyway, and how they convinced me to have a needle and how they made me sign papers, and how I naively and stupidly trusted in a medical system that was destroying my life, and how I was young, and how they took advantage of me, and protected their own cowardly asses while I was unknowingly used and hurt. And how they still get away with it and how the radio has the cruel audacity to sing the praises of our healthcare system while blatantly and dishonestly ignoring my health issues and lying to me still, as they always have. They've done something sick to me, and they wouldn't tell me, they still don't, and to add insult to injury they did sick things to me recently, like stoppinf my period at forty three years old. They're psychopaths, they all are, and they are upheld and commissioned and supported by this demented and sick society that blames victims rather than support and help and be honest. They have no respect for my life. That last injection that they gave me before I was sent to the street, that bitch was smiling, she enjoyed it. There's something really sick and demented about all of them. But as I suspect, the first injection when I was young, they told me it contained a small amount of radioactive material that wouldn't be harmful and was to help enhance imaging in the x-rays I was going to have then. Now that I'm older, I realize there is no such thing as a harmless amount of radioactivity being injected into a person's body, but there was no one to protect me, no one to warn me, and no one to acknowledge me now or be honest. They choose to humiliate and blame victims and don't even bother to explain to me why. To this day there hasn't been an honest verbalized explanation, but I'd bet every time they're around me they make it seem like they're being honest, and they're not. When I ask direct questions they either get irate .... 4. .....and they accuse my mental stability immediately. They threaten me indirectly, they make subtle suggestions and threats on my phone and elsewhere. They are evil, selfish and cruel, but I'm not the cowards they are, so I intend to stand up for myself however I can. They don't want the public to know, they want the public to accuse and ostracized and blame and attack victims. One day I wish all of them to be exposed for the cruel deviants they are. I was upset all day yesterday, I still am. The media is designed to make liars out of victims, and I wish them all the same one day. If this government does not stand up for me and tell me the truth then I will do my best to make my story as public as I can elsewhere. They have no right to say and do what they do without allowing us the human right of an explanation and confrontation, and a legal representative. They have no right to harm people like myself, deny them access to public venues or avenues of legal help, and I know they've done this many times before, and always find ways to demonize those who were victims. They've perfected their deviant system of lies and accusing victims that are expendable throw-aways, and I know they kill people and find excuse or make excuses and reverse the blame. They are disgusting creatures that will live and die with no moral fibre or worthy traits at all, and they don't care because they have no real feelings. It's happened many times I'm sure. I deserve answers, a legal rep and compensation. Many who were around me in my life should be in prison, and instead I live like a prisoner, with no verbalized explanations as to why, in an invisible cage that seems as though I'm free, but with the vultures of traffic everywhere I go to try and silence me and to harass abd humiliate me everywhere I go. They are all evil, but one day it might happen to them, not that I believe it matters because I sincerely believe they have no human emotions.

They somehow managed to blow my Christmas lights either yesterday or today. They have random electricity problems here at 101 Kendleton Drive, apartment 517. Toronto Ontario. They also have random radiator inspections and random radiator leaks. My name is Lisa Hoffman, I'm half asian and no one tells me why I can't get proper legal justice or healthcare and I've been isolated for eight years with no answers. They're so cruel they've been harassing me subtly and overtly and the only time I can vent my frustrations is if I yell at the traffic that parks across from this building that is similar almost everyday and surrounds me when I go out. Or I have to tell at myself. They make me seem like I have Teretz, or however it's spelled. Its cruel and I think they're blaming me for the cocaine that my foster sister doled out to me and others. I was only thirteen, she was nineteen. Actually I might have done something to the lights when I opened the door, but still there is random electricity in this apartment.

@tarynactress ME TOO

hehe me 2

6 people are not present.

Thurs. Feb. 20, 2020 I've been up all morning thinking and bitching. I'm fed up with the radio and their lies. I'm fed up with all the lies they tell. I've been thinking about Grandad and Ross and that whole time. How angry Ross was when I called grandad to ask for money and how I'm sure my phone has always been controlled and tapped. I think grandad planned his death and I don't believe that Ross is his son. I think grandad had me when I was young and something happened. I'm very angry today because I know that although the radio likes to talk about love and friendship and family, I also know they perpetuate the lies. I've seen bus load after bus load of kids, some in empty towns. I've seen these things with kids that dont look like them and I know what this government does to kids because I was one of them. I know and will never recant the fact that they exploit women and children and are the greatest cowards and opportunists that will ever exist. They kill life, they steal children, they brainwash and blind those children, and eventually we forget while we work for them and get abused by them and will eventually die for them as children get taken away and recycled into this corrupt system. As I've said many times, there is no form of higher racism than enslavement, but disgusting bulbous snakes like to accuse me of racism. Its their idiot children that ruin my artwork and doodles all over years worth of efforts because all they do is eat, breed and involve themselves in others lives, is a fact! I lived my life and experienced their abuse and lies and they are the government, they are Children's Aid, they are the police and media. I've also realized how when grandad died I was bumped to first class twice on the flight there and back. Another way they made it seem like I had money when I didn't. Corporations and airports. And all the drama ever since. I will never forget what they are ever again unless they do to my mind what I've seen them do to others. 2. Those kids they're taking from what I'm sure are dead or missing parents are going to be as brainwashed and rehabilitated as I was when I was a kid, and then they will exploit them as they always did me. I will never apologize for saying they are rapists and pedophiles, because I've lived my life around them and know what they've always done to me. I've even realized about places I've tried to rent and employment I've tried to seek and how my phone was hacked and probably never reached anyone unless I called from a payphone, which is a problem they've obviously remedied considering my experiences trying to call places these days from payphones. I even realized most grouphomes were a mix of people like me, and their disgusting hyena children they encourage to bully us or try to entice kids into bad life choices. I wondered how many kids they stole from, why they try to make me seem like I shop when I didn't or have money when I never did or look like a drug addict when I'm not. I still wonder if grandad left me money and why Ross and others made it seem like had money later when I didn't or harassed me when I was employed. I've seen how cruel and greedy they are. I've been poisoned by their cowardly faceless attacks for far too long, something the radio refuses to acknowledge. They were poisoning me and others in shelters and I know it. They were whining about needing to eat and they were rotund whilst I was nearly starving. I know they getvreally skinny and then bulbous and they start problems to make excuses to hurt people. I thought it was really weird how skinny my boss Lori was at Secord and how she purposely ruined my work and caused issues. I saw Karl skinny most of my life until my life fell apart and I had to deal with his dramas and lies. I've noticed how some flatten their teeth and others don't bother. They are buisness owners, they are money, and most do make their money by exploitation or blatant theft. Anyone who ignores the state of this world..... 3. ....is either one of them or on a paycheque and doesn't care. As I was bitching two walked my door and said, "I know, that's cold." That's not only cold and they're always around us all the time anyway. They are everywhere. They are teachers, they are everything that controls and runs this world. It's not a cycle of birth and life, it's a cycle of exploitation and death and I'm seeing the aftermath and the new generation of kids that will forget and one day be murdered and poisoned as cruelly and cowardly as they do now. They turn the fridge here on and off and still mess with me. That's something they never say or tell me why it became my problem they ate shit and why they always blame and punish me. I figure cowards like them prefer to take advantage of women and children because I can't say enough that they are the most despicable, most disgusting cowardly and deceitful race in existence. Karl is a passive -aggressive and preferred to make it seem like I caused damage to an expensive vase in his place and had an idiot take pictures without so much as a word to me. Some are killing, some prefer to rape human lives and humiliate. That's supposed to be the lesser of two evils. Death or rape. That's the unsaid choices they give to people who know. I will never understand why they exist and what makes them so deceitful and dishonest and cowardly. But the snide comments from a media that doesn't acknowledge truth and prefers to try to delude people shouldn't matter. They're always the same, always have been, it's just when we're young we don't realize it. When Alex told me he was cleaning apartments that had smoke damage, when I think about my apartment and how nicotine stains would be dripping down my walls, how my grandad smoked and how these bulbous things started to pretend they do, I realize how they kill and the many ways they do. I'd bet Ross' story about quitting smoking is bullshit. Both Garnet and myself smoked and smoke like chimneys. Certain people do.. 4. ...others pretend to have cigarette addictions. Bulbous things are not men and I know it. And I know the many evil and creative and controlling ways they kill people. It was disgusting as I was homeless to see them all walking around me with cigarettes and looking at me as if to say, 'See, I smoke too!' Bullshit. Grandad never got bulbous that I ever saw, never ceased smoking and barely blinked himself. I think he's a typical soldier and I doubt Ross served in Vietnam the way he said he did. Maybe Ross went there for a bite and brought me back. Who knows because no one tells me the truth. I was supposedly with grandad when I was two years old, but I wonder sometimes if it wasn't Ross who actually took me from them after they took me from my mom. This system says they care about kids, only enough to make them large enough to be food or whores and bred. I know because I grew up in this system and they do not protect certain kids. 5. And I was also remembering about Scott's story about the old age home he worked at and the guy who died in his bed and did nothing but smoke so that when they found him his ceiling was dripping with nicotine and had orange stains. That's why is they get smoked to death they deserve it, is another thing I've realized. Telling people like me I should quit when they know about stimuli and know how many are controlled is cruel and self-denying and cowardly as usual. Sure everyone lives and dies eventually, but people like me get raped and murdered and no one says. 6. All I know is I wouldn't ever trust a thing they say ever again. I still believe some people sacrifice their lives for certain children to have a better life, and those kids gets stolen from and exploited and murdered anyway because snakes are liars and greedy. I suspect that's why they make me seem I have money I don't and never did, as I said. I don't think any of them have any sense of honour, but I do know they know how to pretend they do. People might have no choice but to live around them, but never will I ever believe a damn thing that ever comes from their mouths ever again. My music is not evil, my artwork that these morons and others ruined is not evil, it's honest. 7. Which brings me to my thoughts about my artwork and how Alex's influence had me use it for music after I was in that band 'Art of Hate' and they humiliated me on stage. The artwork is honest, the band changed the meaning. My song 'Winter's Unrest' that talks about haze in the sky and destruction is not the same as Alex's or Carlos lyrics. My lyrics for Witchmark are about evil, not supporting it. It was Shane who changed the cover and made the graphics more grainy. It was a bulbous idiot who had half the CD's with some lecture or something on it and a guy downtown got all the wave files before I decided not to have my CD's pressed by him. There is and always has been deceitful opportunists and scumbags who ruin my art and music in favour of their own opinion. Another cowardly and selfish behavior. I'm going public about it though because I'm tired of idiots stealing from others and making money and degrading people's lives. These things, those things, they have no shame and I don't believe they'd ever be or accomplish anything without slavery and exploiting humans. 8. And another thing. I know technically its called a WAV file. I just called it a wave file because I did, because sometimes people make mistakes or write or say things for simple explanation or instant thought or mistake.

OMFG 100,000th Viewer :D:D:D Lmao YAY ! :D

Don't feel too bad for Bret...he gets lots of attention from his Lord of the Rings fans...Google Figwit the elf sometime. He has a huge cult following (me included). Cheers

@kathchristian6781

6 жыл бұрын

FlightConchords ~¤ Figwit...!

Even when it's Bret's highlights Jemaine is STILL funnier! BIGWIJ! Bret is great...where is Jemaine? Well, OK, he's right there but you know...

eu espero que com a fama diante dos norte americanos não seja exigido deles que mudem seu sotaque, porque é o sotaque a coisa mais adorável nesses dois gatões e parece que os norte americanos odeiam quando o ator tem sotaque e esquecem que isso é a coisa mais linda!

Thurs. Jan. 9, 2020 Last night I watched 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' and started to watch 'Tropical Thunder' on an app I have. Now I have no gigabytes already. I'm almost sure I had a plan that included more but oh well. I was shocked last night and this morning. I woke up thinking about all the strange metoblisms and experiments on humanity. Here's a strange theory I've come up with: Somewhere there's a lyric that I swear he says "born at the end of life". They've been slowly rounding people up and destroying waters all my life, and there's these things with this high metabolism that gets really fat then really skinny, almost starving. I was thinking about how these thing for years have been denying me food or messing my life up. I think they've been trying to create people who don't need as much food by messing with metabolism, maybe for the purpose of long-distance travel. It got me wondering about the horrid creatures with huge appetites. You know that question in lyrics about did god make us and the devil or did we make them? Very true, very disgusting things have been done to life, to children. Those shelters where I was inert and then a really skinny thing would come in. I think they were trying to make me become a meal for those things that are starving because of a high metabolism. The disgusting things they've done to me, the disgusting things they do to life. Demented and cruel, that's all I know. I was taken from my mom and then became a study for demented, loveless creatures who's intention was to destroy life since I was a kid because of their eating habits and ambitions. As people try to live simple lives and accomplish things for themselves without necessarily harming others, there are other things in this world that believe their accomplishments should include using others, harming others, killing others and simply are selfish beyond any human understanding. I already know that thin is not necessarily greedless and selfless. 2. I've seen Guin huge and then almost completely thin one year. It's creepy and yeah, she's always been weird. But then the question is, who makes their metabolism so high? What if they were really created with the ambition of space travel and world 'security' a long time ago but became something so ravenous and selfish it became out of control? It doesn't matter what the reasons though, they're cruel to life. I dont believe they think there's value on people's lives and feelings because I think they're so vain that they think they have all the understanding of the brain and that they create life so therefore life is expendable and replaceable. I think they're evil, I always will. So then it brings me back to the conundrum of the life that is considered sub-standard being the ones that have true emotion and suffer, and those that create and destroy life have very little true emotions at all. So then the ones that see our lives as expendable and worthless truly becomes the opposite in my opinion, as I see their lack of respect for life and selfishness very worthless traits. They create monsters to be cruel to life is true and I'm sure they're cruel to what they create to make them as terrible as they are. Conditioning, what they tried to do to me with their cruelty, only I have emotions that are genuine, so it didn't work. I believe that to be a fact, and I believe I did turn out to be a kind and honest human despite their lies and nasty efforts to make me seem or be otherwise. I like who I am, and I think they are shameless deviants with no guilt or love that's genuine at all. They still try their experiments on me, still disrespect me to the point they see my life as not deserving the truth or explanations I deserve. They are a vain race, they are a horrible, selfish race. They study me with no concern for my feelings nor respect for my life, but I still say they deserve to be treated the same and the mystery of how they became so cruel and selfish be unravelled. 3. There's one more point that I'd like to make to these disgusting monsters that took me from my mom, screwed with my head and memories and then spent the majority of my life abusing me. Despite their vain egos of thinking they created all life and despite their lies, I was born. They didn't create me, my real parents did, whether Ross and Huong are my real parents or not. Because of my absolute knowledge of my childhood and what I'm sure are the reasons they took me from my mom in the first place; awareness, I know I was born here, raised here, therefore they are not my creators. Only the deviant manipulators that ruined my life and mind. They will never be greatness to me, they will always be loveless deviants in my opinion. I have enough emotion to try not to harm any living thing, and to me that's a quality they themselves don't have and therefore I am a more worthy person than they ever were. Whatever cruel things they do to me and the lies and illusions about me and life they tell others, I know and they know otherwise, and for some reason they have no shame about what they did to me and what they are. I know real people will know me for the honest and kind person I was, and these things know shamelessly the lies and abuses they subject me to. Since I was a child they wanted me to hate myself and put my face to the ground while others who stupidly believe their lies and stigmas attack me. Really it should be them subjected to that mentality, but I've also learned they are a cowardly race. Another quality and trait about them I will never understand. I know they only feign emotions and kindness, and they know it also. I know and they know the delusions and lies they exist in. They are disgusting, and I will never understand the point of their guiltless and shameless lives and existence. It's sad that people aren't intelligent enough to speak to me and get to know the truth about who I really am and the nasty things these things have put me through. 4. But as I've said, I do think there are some people who truly know me for who I was, not the stigmas these nasty things try to put on me or the lies these things implicate about me. It was bad luck and my real mom's knowledge that made them so cruel to me and isolated me from a life where I could be truly loved and known for who I really am. I'm disgusted by what they all did to me. I regret ever staying around any of them, but I still believe I have admirable qualities that I deserved recognition for. It's sad how many idiots in this world believe their lies and gossip. Mob mentality and ignorance has always been how these things get people and others to harm innocent people. Some things never change. Gossip and lies has always been responsible for almost every slaughter or attack upon innocent people. I think its sad there's a race that relies upon other's stupidity and ignorance to survive. They truly are despicable and cowardly. If there is any quality or trait they have besides being engineers of life and technology, I wouldn't believe it anyway, they have always been dishonest and cruel to me. They want me to fade here and I know it. They are not healing me and I know that also and why they deny me proper health care. The only thing I can always wish is for them to progress to a higher emotional level and to gain the human moral conscience that makes real humans greater than they'll ever be. 5. The only truth I've ever heard before my life fell apart was that democracy was two wolves and a sheep deciding what to have for supper. That's an adage that can be applied to all life. I believe that to be self-evident. The suffering and experimentation and greed and push for less educated people to breed is obvious. There is no reason to regress society unless they want society more manageable and with less qualities and knowledge to defend themselves without violence. It's their violence and passive -aggressive tactics and misinformation that keeps the world and people violent and ignorant. Anything so cowardly as to rely upon such methods is weak, despite their powers and terrible weapons and ability to murder and incite others to. 6. Kathy ran around Burlington telling all her friends I was spoiled and always got my own way which was a blatant lie and the exact opposite is true. I know what she is and I know what she'll always be, and I know she had the support and encouragement of things like the Rusts. I know what I grew up around and how they behaved towards me. I believe in myself, even if all else thinks I'm the witch they tried to give the illusion of. They are demented, truly cruel. Kathy is a creature that is more social than I ever knew and I had no idea about the gossip that was being spread about me. It's sad no one was intelligent or mature enough to ask or get to know me, but some did. I know what they all are now. I like who I am and I'm a good-hearted and kind person caught up in a community of really horrible beings with an agenda of making me seem like a horrible person since I was a child. This is how they started the witch trials in the dark ages, and some things never change. 7. And the other absolute undeniable fact is they are deliberately making people mentally retarded and then encouraging those mentally retarded people to have children. It's cruel, but they are also dangerous because they are literally raised to believe lies they're told all their life. I honestly believe I was meant to swim near the Tim Horton's camp when I was young to give those kids a chance to defend themselves and then things went terribly wrong. That is something that I think is our right, the right to defend ourselves in a non-aggressive way. Keep your lips off us and you won't get sick. Simple solution that was apparently detrimental to the world and it shouldn't be. As I've said many times, all life deserves to have a self-defence mechanism, almost all nature does.

What I started to write last week, as I have been trying to write for years on several phones. I noticed they had edited it already two days after I wrote it. I took copies from my SOS series that I know I already changed 1-4 and somehow they changed back, so I have to erase the last posts and try again with the revised version. S.O.S. part 1 My name is Lisa Hoffman, married to Alex Latychkevitch until my life fell apart. I was threatened and harassed and no one has explained anything for eight years and longer about what happened and why I'm being isolated and what happened to this country. When I was young my foster sister Kathy Rust took me to Calgary, had my identification and offered me a line of cocaine that burned my nose. My life since has been getting weirder and weirder until it all fell apart. I stopped doing heavy drugs in my early twenties and never really got that into it after my teens. I have been violated and threatened and no cop helped me in any genuine way. I have brown eyes, not green eyes like Kathy. I never have been fat and I never have had blond hair. I have had a scar on my belly since I was a kid and no one told me the truth about that. I have had a scar on my forehead since I was nineteen years old from a headbutt from an older 'guy' I was living with. All my photos have been damaged and changed and the scar has been erased. Almost all my paperwork has been changed. I have had strange traffic and behavior around me that no one wants to acknowledge. For almost eight years I have not watched the news and when I do see the news at subway or train stations or certain buisnesses, I don't see or hear anyone talking about the water or what happened to this country. I started having health problems before I was getting divorced and strange things appeared in my mucus and no doctor was honest, nor has been since. I put pictures of it on a site called ‘Contrail’ that no longer exists. I had an abusive childhood, I believe I've been isolated most of my life and surrounded by those who were never friends as they started lying about or not helping me when I was forced to the streets. Some of those I knew for over twenty years. I was travelling around trying to get answers, really upset, really scared. I've had my life threatened and when I tried to talk to cops they wouldn't help. I've had my life threatened more than once. They tried to make me seem like a drug addict and I'm sure they were drugging me in places I'd rent and if I was offered a beer or coffee. I think my foster sister did something to my head. I think my other foster sister didn't die the way they said she did. No one talks to me, no one confronts me. No doctor will be honest. I have tried to make phonecalls and my phones have been hacked. I was given several different numbers for the RCMP and tried to call a few times, I don't know if I'm really talking to real police. They don't seem to care when I say I've had my life threatened. They hacked my phones. They've done something horrible when I was divorcing my husband and I think they've convinced people I'm either responsible for the damaged waters I've seen, or what I think is something in the cocaine that damages people's minds. Doctors won't tell the truth. I've seen people have snot dripping from their nose and swaying in the streets and I've had similar problems, only not as bad so far. They wouldn't address my health problems at all in hospitals and recently they did something at Toronto General Hospital that stopped my period at forty three years old and haven't had one except for two months in the summer last year. They've sterilized me and won't acknowledge it. They wouldn't tell me the truth at any hospital, any cop station I've ever been to. Traffic was surrounding me when I was first homeless and someone in a white truck threw a bottle at my stomach as I was walking trying to figure out what happened. Those I thought were family didn't care at all, haven't most of my life, but I never expected what happened. I never expected the strange behavior and accusations that were being made about my life and personality. Friends started lying, I don't think many were real friends. I was working at the Beerstore for over six years before everything fell apart. I had a band, was finishing a CD, had finished a painting. Three of my best pieces of artwork was stolen and an unfinished piece. I was having belongings stolen and damaged everywhere I went. I had something terrifying happen in Midland where a boat and a helicopter was in front of me before I was made homeless and for some reason I started crying and put my hands up because I thought it had something to do with the phone in my hand that the female Anne-Marie St-Jean, who brought me up there had left me with. I thought I was in trouble but after that she pretended like nothing was wrong. She didn't even acknowledge the helicopter and mayhem that started then and just disappeared after it all happened. I think they made it seem like I was responsible for something and they were arresting me but never said anything about it. She offered me a coughdrop beforehand as we were driving up that made it so when I was trying to call for help to friends after that fiasco I could barely remember their number. She happened to be going up there for personal reasons after I was looking at places to rent on-line up there.

Until someone tells me the truth I'm going to keep writing. These things don't acknowledge me or say anything. I might even hang a sign off my balcony to get some acknowledgement. These things around me aren't justice at all.

Yeah he's a nerdy famous guy. Nerdy famous guys are hot, while just nerdy guys are just losers. It's amazing how that works. I'm a straight male.... So Jemaines "strange attractiveness" has no effect on me. I just think Bret doesn't get enough credit.

5. The doctor that psycho landlady found for me, Dr. McGarrigle, who claimed my vet with the same last name was his brother. I wonder how true that is. They're probably not brothers at all, and my dog had a twisty eye and big veins like I do. They probably did something sick to him too. There was probably never a doctor or anything to do with medical sciences aroumd me that wasn't a deviant. And I think they took advantage at many people's naivety and protected their disgusting asses. I think they have legal teams constantly working for them whilst denying me any legitimate legal representation at all, let alone honest answers. I think they edit and block everything I write and alter words to protect their own greedy, cowardly asses, and one day I think they'll get what they deserve. I wonder if there's anyone in this world who's capable of honesty anymore. As for Angelo and the van he gave me with the brand new wiring and the screw hanging down behind the gas tank as I drove around wondering why, they probably covered their asses with that when I gave the van back to the wrecking yard. I wish him a lifetime of his cowardice a deceit and although I know he doesn't care nor need any loyalty, I could be been a good friend to him and was for a long time. As for the rest of them, Dan standing in the street as I was scared and had no idea why my life was going the way it was, and telling publicly that I was a bitch and a whore unprovoked, that guy is the lowest of the low of scumbaggery. I'm still surprised by Scott, but I've learned that real men almost don't exist at all anymore. I don't believe honour and integrity are qualities that will ever exist in any genuine or sincere way in most around me or most in this world. Calling someone names and demonizing them publicly is shameless and cowardly, when what they should've done is sent a team of men to confront me and protect me and offer me real legal help and advice and real health care. They all chose to hurt me..... 6. ....and scare the hell out of me, and despite their claims, I'm a good person, not a whore, not a drug addict, not an ill-tempered or insane person. I'm a kind person, surrounded by cruel cowards who hurt me and harass me to perpetuate the stigma they always wanted for me since I was a child, so they could justify the evil and cruel and deviant things they've done to me and were obviously planning all along.

Wed. Jan. 1, 2020 This is going to be weird writing '2020' now as the date. Last night I stayed up long enough to see the New Year, watched some fireworks, then basically went to bed. This morning I had my coffees, played some video games, had some egg muffins for breakfast and realized nothing's probably open today, so I guess I'm staying in. My head hurts today, like pins and needles in my brain. No one says the truth to me, but I know something needs to be done about whatever is in my head. I still wonder sometimes how many people they did this to and why no one says when it's obvious it's not only me. Why aren't people more upset? Because they think only derelicts and drug addicts had this happen to them? The main reason why they want me to look responsible lately and not let others know they did this deliberately to young people? Scumbags who blame victims and idiots who believe them or are apathetic. Maybe it's their version of 'The Lottery' story, their way of sacrificing people and justifying it. I was thinking about the time Rob and Mike said that Tim and his buddies were going to visit and jam with us a while ago, and realized about how they kept walking in and out of the house and how I think they made me seem that night. They're disgusting really. I wish I'd never let any of them in my house. I didn't know what kind of scumbags they were and their intentions. Look at their logo though and that says it all really. I had no idea that their logo looked like what would later be coming out of my nasal passages and mouth, and funny how their band name is 'Dead of Winter'. You think that was a bet or just a fact? I feel stupid for ever liking any of them, but I'm not the one that has to hide intentions or delude people or lie about them. I still say they're cowards and mob mentality idiots who had no respect for me but instead of confronting me decided to do nasty, bitchy things to me. 2. I still think about Carlos and them coming by my place and trashing my drums, specifically the cymbals I bought with my own money, but didn't touch Alex's. I was thinking last night about the couple's they are, what they probably knew about my head, how some impregnated me. I think it was about sacrificing me so they could they use my ID for their real girlfriends or wives. What a bunch of disgusting pigs! Last night I was really sad, thinking about if I had ever known a guy who cared about me. They're nasty, not men or women at all, just a bunch of selfish opportunists, as I've said many times. I also think it's funny how today they limited the amount of characters I could write in my first text, which is definitwly not as long as usual. Manipulators, cowardly, faceless manipulators that I'm sure wanted my first text to end with me talking about our drums and change the word 'drums' to something else because I'm still sure the cowards who edit and hack my phone want to blame me for what they did to us as teenagers. How selfish and nasty they all were and are, but I guess that's how they survive. Most of them are soft-bellies anyways and are probably the repulsive bulbous things. I didn't know, they did, they could've chosen to leave me alone or at very least say something honest before ruining my life. One day it might be them, who knows, who cares anymore. They look after each other and sacrifice people like me. Technically though it was Alex Erdhardt, Spiros and Erich that trashed my drums, I dont know why. I guess they didnt like mt art and music but seriously too childish to either confront or live their own fucking pampered lives. I wonder what it would've been like to know someone honest about their feelings, or to simply have feelings at all that were genuine.

Fri. Apr. 10, 2020 Today I checked my bank account and still the e-mail I received saying my taxes were deposited is not in my account, as well as those two e-mails I received saying two amounts had been deposited on my 'Advantage Card', whatever that is. I told them repeatedly I didn't want their credit card and now I'm not even getting the HST they're supposed to deposit for some reason. It's really cold today, even flakes of snow are swirling around this morning. I woke up thinking about many things. I was thinking about the song, 'Breeding the Madness', how guys never cared about me, how Louise had five kids, maybe more, and how she told me how attractive her first boyfriend was and how he 'charmed the pants off her'. I was thinking how that's how they get us. They send some charming, attractive guy our way, use us and then when our looks go to hell, they ditch us and then we handed to less attractive breeders. At least that won't be an issue for me anymore, only the 'charmers' who would now trick us into being killed or something else horrible. Alot of beautiful women probably lost their lives that way. I lose faith in the hope that real men exist for women on this planet anymore. I find it really sad how deluded many young girls become with a system designed to keep us breeding and stupid and naive and complacent. I'm going to have to find a way to talk to somebody about what's obviously fraudulent activity with this H&R Block in this area and probably all over, and whoever's sending me these e-mails. 2. Yesterday I was considering going to the H&R Block but I found someone to sell me a cheap pack of cigarettes so I stayed in all day and played video games. I wondered if I always sit in all day as someone who resembles me goes places and does weird or fraudulent or criminal things in my name. I should've known the day I was going to H&R Block they were setting me up, but this system and everyone is so corrupt no-one even takes any complaint or problem I have seriously. So I spent most of the day yesterday listening to the radio, and all they do is repeat music and have weird news reports on the supposed 'Covid19 virus', which I'm sure is bullshit and no-one talks about that either. No-one talks about all the corruption and weirdness around. I played the 'Rollercoaster Mania' game most of the day, re-designing the park. I thought, did my nails, well cleaned and prepped them, had a bath, listened to some music, exercised a little. All of what's happening to me is so illegal and cruel and yet no-one acknowledges anything. There is no real law, there is no real government, there is no-one helping me in a legitimate way.

SOS part 7 We had other foster kids who stayed with us, but none as long as us. We had some blond girl who was older stay with us on Myers Lane, but not long at all. I don't remember her name. We had a boy named Trent who stayed with us. Blond and blue-eyed, had bad diabetes and had to use a needle daily. Most kids were mean to me. Pauline beat me up alot. Kathy didn't, even seemed to stand up for me sometimes, but she was quiet. There was something I didn't know about her though. There's something about influences and control most of us don't know. There was weird perversions sometimes too as I've written about before, things that I think are inappropriate for children. Movies they'd watch with me sometimes that I personally think were way too sexual for a young child. My mom was in a mental hospital at that time and I would visit her, at first once a month but Mrs. Rust started saying I was hyper after visits with both my mom and dad and tried to make our visits even more spaced out. I was not hyper, I was happy. My mom gave me a ceramic flower and a ceramic dove missing a beak, and I loved anything she gave me. Trent walked into my room one day, threw the flower on the floor and stomped on it. Kathy said she beat him up for that but I don't know. I have no idea why he did that. I do know that Mrs. Rust was very jealous. She would keep me cold, they kept the house cold. Pauline and Kathy had duvets and comforters. I didn't. My mom gave me a blanket that I was told she knitted at the institution. Mrs. Rust didn't let me use it for long and said she was putting it away for safe-keeping. I think it's because I was warm and I felt love. I think they hated when I had warm feelings about anything. I think they enjoyed when I was sad. When I finally did get it back it had a hole in it anyway. I've complained often about the food issues they thrust on us, used food against us alot. I don't know why that happens time and time again, and has been since my life fell apart again. That's one reason I became a vegetarian. She was very strict about manners, but overly so. She was cruel about it to the point that dinnertime was almost miserable and stressful. I don't trust anyone who eats liver anymore, especially since I know what I know about this world now, and she got me to eat tripe once too that was disgusting. Kathy liked it, Pauline would make faces and say it was gross when they served liver, and then changed her mind at the table sometimes. One time at the cottage we were eating corn on the cob and Kathy's had a worm sticking out of it and she started bawling and they were so sympathetic and concerned and made a big deal out of it that I never understood. I think I might’ve even laughed at first and they got upset. And she used to tell any friend she ever introduced me to that I was spoiled and always got my own way and I rarely argued. Sometimes I'd say “No I'm not!” and then she'd laugh as though she was joking, but I have a feeling that she's said worse than that about me to others. Strange things would happen. Once I was carrying a plate behind my head and Kathy said I would drop it. I thought I had a good grip on it and said that I wouldn't but as soon as I said that it was like my hands just let it go and I did. I got in trouble for that too. They knew things they shouldn't have. We were not allowed to chew gum at all, and one time when I was at school I had been given a piece of gum. I liked it so much that at night I put it under my pillow. Mrs. Rust never fluffed my pillow. When she came into the room that night to say good night she acted as though she was fluffing my pillow, but her hand went immediately to the gum. She called Mr. Rust and he put me over his shoulder with my nightgown up and slapped not only my bottom. When I was the last kid in the house on Hampton Court. things didn't change much. We moved there when I was about ten maybe. One day Mrs. Rust came into my bedroom and I could tell she wanted to fight again. I sat up in my bed with my legs hanging down. Words passed between us, she elbowed my leg, I kicked her, she elbowed me again, I kicked her harder and she ran out of the room crying to Mr. Rust. Mr. Rust was really mad. At some point I decided I'd had enough. Oh yeah, and she called Children's Aid after I painted a picture of a cross with a knife in it and the initials K.R. underneath which to me at that time meant Kill Religion and I also had been taught by Kathy F.T.W., so I also had painted that at the same time. She picked up the phone and said apparently she was concerned. She said it was because I was drawing bloody crosses though and said they said it was a phase. I found out later she was saying alot more disgusting things than that to Children's Aid. How I left that house, I think was all contrived. We were fighting. I had already run once to Kathy as I said before, Pauline was no longer living there and I decided to get my stuff that was in the basement. I must've been planning on moving in there from upstairs. She wouldn't move out of the way so I shoved her, I shoved her harder, then Mr. Rust who was in the basement started pushing the door from the other side, and her head was being banged by him more than me. I ran around to the side basement door, kicked it in and grabbed my stuff and ran. The cops must’ve picked me up because I was brought back, she didn't press charges and the cop said how nice she was for that. I didn't want to stay. I went to Ross and Sue's. I always wondered why my dad never let me live with him, especially after he was married and got a house, but I went to him. He said I had to go to school. I was not there long at all. I partied with my friend at the time Sarah Turner, got drunk and lied and said I was babysitting. When I got back they flipped, came into my room and Sue grabbed me by the arms and dug her nails in. I decided already I wasn't going to tolerate anymore abuse. I tried to run but Ross caught me and walloped me across the face. The cops showed up and I said I didn't want to live there either. I'd had enough. I went to my first grouphome at twelve years old. It was behind the funeral home in Burlington. Again dramas and problems with bullying and chicks and others in that town wanting to beat me up. Again the social workers would be mean and again I was writing in a journal book that they made us keep and again I would write expletives. They made food an issue there too. Sometimes we would get donations from places and often it would mouldy. They insisted I go on the pill even though I wasn't sexually active, I was shortly after though. After a girl Julie threatened to beat me up I ran to Pauline's, stayed with her for awhile, then ran to Kathy. Pauline had just had Deborah. I was babysitting sometimes and after awhile felt used. Her baby's father Mike ran at me naked once. We ran up her phone bill on purpose, she said to get back at the Rusts. She was given a house and she told me once it was just another way for the Rusts to control her. She started dating another guy at the same time as Mike named Ben. We all left to Brampton and Bramalea in a cab. I don't know how we got the money for it. Strange events happened there. Pauline made me go stay with a stranger, a dark-skinned guy, and I drank a coffee and there was blue stuff all over the bottom. I felt sick, I got scared. I asked his mom to drive me to where Pauline was staying. I tried to vomit and couldn't and slept under the crib. I had my 13th Birthday there. I babysat Deborah and Pauline bought me beer and they went out. Shortly after is when Kathy took me out west and did what she did to me. Kathy was living with a red-head named Jennifer. She separated me from Pauline. Once Pauline showed up and Kathy put me in her closet and said to be quiet. I could hear Pauline really mad and asking where I was. That's when Kathy said she took her roommate's ID and gave it to me and took my ID and said she'd give it back. I never could pronounce her roommate's last name properly. I don't remember how I met her cousin she was dating named Trevor. She had a car and didn't have a license. Strangely enough she had attended CALC for a while because we drove to that school she said to pick something up. She got stuck on a car pulling out of the parking lot. Trevor, Kathy and I drove across Canada and Kathy got welfare cheques in different provinces. Sometimes they siphoned gas to make it there. Her cousin/boyfriend had a horrible temper and threw their dog against the car one time. All I saw was their dog fly at the windshield. The dog flew into the car after shaking and I was hugging him and almost in tears as Kathy was telling me to shut up.We stopped in a place called Lethbridge and went to friend of hers. There was some kind of love triangle or something with her friend. Trevor and her had a fight and at some point her and I went to Calgary to find her supposed other half-sister who she said was named Shelby.