👉 Know a good joke? Share it in the comments!

@ChonkyCats

2 ай бұрын

What's a shark's favorite sandwich? A peanut butter & jellyfish sandwich.

Proof positive that computers can’t tell jokes!

@loljokes

2 ай бұрын

I'm not a computer... 😀

@rodevans602

Ай бұрын

@@loljokes I am!😜

@EdwardSegalLegend

Ай бұрын

@rodevans602 Proof positive that bots can't write comments.

Not funny at all a testament to the societies lack of integrity and that’s not funny at all

@cyrusmallison6157

2 ай бұрын

Also it's to long.

Maury and Jerry Springer would love that town...

I went to a secondhand shop and asked what mine was worth. Later a friend asked if I could lend him a hand. I told him not anymore!

Wasn't there a song with this plot?

.This was a good one I was thinking wow, what a father. Then, what a mother. Sounded like they really got around. Poor kid.😅

@fredferd965

7 ай бұрын

This gives new meaning to that old phrase, "It's ten o'clock at night. Do you know where your children are?" These days parents not only don't know where they are, they don't know who they are, and how many of them there are.....

@kimberlycregger7341

7 ай бұрын

@@fredferd965 I agree💯 It's ashame.

Brilliant. You know what Shakespeare said; “it is a wise child that knows his own father”.

@loljokes

7 ай бұрын

Thanks Mark! 😀

That's the theme of a really cute calypso song called "Shame and Scandal in the Family." I learned it from a lounge singer when I was eleven years old in the mid 1960s. Yes, I've led an interesting life...

@billsanders5067

3 ай бұрын

I also recall hearing this song on the radio sometime back in the 1960's. I can't remember off hand who recorded it, possible the Kingston Trio?

@wernerdaghofer4056

3 ай бұрын

@@billsanders5067 Shawn Elliot: kzread.info/dash/bejne/gnWfza6KopWxmsY.html

@RTDRalph

2 ай бұрын

@@billsanders5067 It was Harry Belafonte, if I remember correctly.

@sohailaomardeen9752

Ай бұрын

A Trinidad calypso by Lord Melody

@joshuafreshney1206

Ай бұрын

@@billsanders5067 1965 by Lance Percival.

“Shame & Scandal in the family!” 🎼🎶 #JamaicanSong

Very good joke.

@loljokes

6 күн бұрын

Thank you! 😀

OK then....... Who's the Daddy? 😂😂😂

Truth was revealed, i feel sympathy for the kid.

What was that, A joke???? The final reveal did not even come close to the joke.

I could see the punchline coming a mile away! Still, it’s a good joke, even if it’s obvious.

@loljokes

Ай бұрын

Thank you! 😀

Ha ha, that's a good one!

@loljokes

Ай бұрын

Thank you! 😀

@ronaldmcdonald8303

Ай бұрын

@@loljokes He He, no problem.

Shame and Scandal in the Family - lyrics

I knew what was coming.

@smallfeet4581

5 ай бұрын

Heard it before

@Lava1964

4 ай бұрын

Yep. That punchline was very predictable.

@richardlug6139

2 ай бұрын

Yes I either heard it before or it was quite obvious. The joke didn’t need to be that long he could have came with the punch line after the second girl.

This is actually a Mike Cross song, "Elma Turl." It is set in the Hillbilly genre.

Hilarious

@loljokes

29 күн бұрын

Thanks! 😀

Shamus has a lovely family.

OOOOld. There's a song, actually. "Shame and Scandal in the Family."

@frankhooper7871

3 ай бұрын

Just what I was going to comment

True story. I was driving my elderly mother home from a shopping trip. Suddenly, she sighed in grief and said, "I've had a song stuck in my head for two days and can't get rid of it!" I asked, "What is the song?" She replied, "I don't know, I've never heard it before!"

@loljokes

2 ай бұрын

😋

One day, little David suddently bursed into tear and said three words "Oh my auntie". Three days later, his aunt passed away. Time went by, one day, little David bursted into tear and said "Oh my sister". Three days later, David's sister died in a car accident! Time went by and one day little David cried out terribly "Oh my Dad". The dad known his time has come. He silently went onto his bed and wait. Three days passed through but nothing has happened. As the dad started to think "Oh, may be my son's supernatural power has lost", the dad suddenly heard the sound of funeral trumpets coming from the neighbor's house 😢😢😢

That is funny .thanks

@loljokes

7 ай бұрын

Thanks Dan! 😀

Nearly laughed

Thought the jokes were clean

@loljokes

2 ай бұрын

The word "clean" is a subjective term I guess. I personally don't feel that jokes about infidelity are dirty but I do realize and respect that we all have different opinions. I am sorry if I offended you. 😀

@apple54345

2 ай бұрын

offended a Karen. oof.

Scandal dans la famille... It's a song

Oohh...oh my😅

That was beyond dreadful.

The foursome is out on the golf course one Saturday. They're playing a hole adjacent to the highway. A funeral procession starts going by and as it reaches its end and the hearse comes into view, one of the men takes his hat off, places it over his heart, and bows his head. The procession finishes going by and then one of the other golfers says, "Jim, I had no idea you were so sentimental." Jim replies, "Well, we were married for over 30 years so I figured it was the least I can do."

@loljokes

Күн бұрын

😂Tee, hee, hee...

I figured it out right before the punch line.

Long way to go to the punchline.

The punchline was very easy to predict. Grade: C-

There's a thing that looks like an ice cream truck driving slowly down the street, playing a catchy tune, with a smiling guy at the wheel. But he isn't selling ice cream - he's peddling DNA test kits.......

lol, Now that was pretty good!

@loljokes

7 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😀

That´s a long and boring story ! Much better the original, the song " Shame and scandal in the family" !!!

@loljokes

14 күн бұрын

I admit that it was boing... but long?😀 Prime member?

And now, the worst joke I ever wrote. Santa is perusing the workshop and asks Elf Timmy, "Whatcha building, Timmy?" Timmy turns and shows Santa a lovely little doll. "Nice! Nice!" Santa passes by Elf Shirley, "What is on the worktable today, Shirley?" Shirley holds up a nice wooden toy truck. "Lovely!" Santa encounters the newest elf hire, "Young man, what is your project?". The new Elf spins around with a metal box with a crank handle. "Ta tink, ta tink, ta, tink ta te tink!" And suddenly a clown pounces from the top of the box! Arms spread wide and huge grin on its face! Santa, "Interesting, Torquemada!"........a moment later, "I gotta check that guy's resume." On that note, no one should have ever heard these before. I wrote all submissions myself. I hope you can use them.

Dave had a plan. His boss caught him with a large, strange man in the office every day for a week. The man had a sign, "The end is near!" Finally, the boss had had enough and fired Dave. Dave told the boss of HIS boss what had happened. Big boss called Dave's old boss and confirmed everything. Dave's old boss was immediately fired, and Dave given the job. The moral is, never fire someone for bringing in a large prophet and then admit to it over the phone.

@loljokes

2 ай бұрын

😂

Lol good one

@loljokes

3 ай бұрын

Thanks! 😀

That's a good one - didn't see it coming!

@loljokes

2 ай бұрын

Thanks! 😀

This is an old story. Ha-ha-ha. You're timing could have been better, too.

A cowboy rides along the rim of the Grand Canyon. He looks down and sees a dark spot. He begins to ride down to investigate. At the bottom he finds a mule spread-eagle on his back, sunk about three feet into the canyon floor. Curious, he prys the mule out of the ground and finds a Mexican, spread-eagle on his back. Really curious now he flips the Mexican over and sees printed on the back of his shirt "Jose Knievel".

@loljokes

Ай бұрын

😂

Little Johnny asked his dad if you could go th heaven with your feet in the air. Of cours Johnny's dad what he meant. Johnny told his dad that the power had gone off and they sent the students home early. Johnny told his father that when he got mom was lying on her back kicking her feet in the air and yelling "OH MY GOD, I'M COMIMG, I'M COMING". Johnny said 'I think she would have made it if Mr. Jones from across the street hadn't been holding her down".

Just don’t date the milkman’s daughter.

@apple54345

2 ай бұрын

That wouldve been a better punchline rather than just spelling it out.

Too boring.

The husband of ten years is at the bottom of the steps, putting his boots on to go to work. As he does so, his wife comes down the stairs in a shear nightgown. The sun hits her just right and the husband can see right through the garment. "You know, "He says, sounding disappointed, "You aren't the woman I married." At first, she is hurt, then thinks out loud, "If I am not the woman you married...I'm free! I'M FREE!!!" And she darts down the stairs, out of the house, and down the sidewalk. Skipping and singing, "I'm free! I'm free!" A neighbor sees her and immediately reports what he witnessed to her husband. "Skipping, dancing, singing, "I'm free! And in her nightgown?!?!?" Well now, that is the woman I married!"

That wasn't a good joke.

I worked with a guy once who saw some attractive women across a river who were waving at 👋 him saying hello so he started swimming across to go and meet them he got half way and then swimmed back when he got back we asked why he returned he said he got tired and didn't think he could make it so turned around and swimmed back

@patrickporter6536

Ай бұрын

Swam. Not funny anyway.

Got to say-those old 1, repeat on 2, punchline on 3 are tiresome and predictable

@HCWz-_-Over9000

2 ай бұрын

Got me tho

Lol😢 I have decided to reduce my screen time so I won’t be watching until I have my appointment with the eye specialist late in January since I have glaucoma, second bout of cataracts, inflammation and a hole in one of the macula plus dry eyes I am taking the advice to limit my time 😢I checked several sources and am fairly confident that it is the best thing to do since I have to work on my computer . .don’t worry about that vanilla organic vanilla is expensive so I won’t have to much😊 best of luck you are a star lifelong and prosper I like what you do stop and smell the flowers 💐 oh my full name translates as pretty mother Your majesty that is to say by the quick set fence comrade a-bit of Spanish French German plus an extra that eludes me at the moment. Your majesty is ironical someone in the family had delusions of grandeur I suspect. 🍀🌟🍀🖖🖖🖖🖖🍀🌟🍀👍👍👍👍🍀🌟🍀👋🏻🧝🏼🤚🏻🌺🤟🏼🌺

@loljokes

7 ай бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you get better soon. Hope you have a wonderful holidays! 😀❤