Best Dungeons and Dragons Insults | A D&D Sketch

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What are the best insults, or Vicious Mockery, lines you can deal in D&D? Well here are some examples! Thanks to Emily for the help with our research: mykindofmeeple.com/cutting-wo...
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Пікірлер: 369

  • @OneShotQuesters
    @OneShotQuesters Жыл бұрын

    Sign up to receive your copy of Lair Magazine: www.patreon.com/thedmlair

  • @blackbeltgamer98fire-spitt96

    @blackbeltgamer98fire-spitt96

    Жыл бұрын

    Uh…did the guy asking for Ezekiel’s name have the Calabash?

  • @bakuiel1901

    @bakuiel1901

    Жыл бұрын

    Never thought to see Luke's mag advertised here but cool

  • @leannageorge1122

    @leannageorge1122

    Жыл бұрын

    alright, YOU did it. I watch DM Lair a lot, but have never subscribed. I am tonight, just cause Ad Barian sent me. *lol* I've been procrastinating for years (okay probably months)

  • @LittleDemon66

    @LittleDemon66

    Жыл бұрын

    Hi can everyone or anyone help me with a idea I wanted to make a homebrew class something like a mix of a necromancer,cleric and artistic. The idea is the class will be able to dismembered monsters. Use the body parts to replace their own obviously restrictions depending on size and Weight and compatibility. Thx

  • @Nazo-kage
    @Nazo-kage Жыл бұрын

    I was actually surprised the guard didn’t drop dead from the collective Psychic damage with all of this “vicious mockery”.

  • @levelynn3853

    @levelynn3853

    Жыл бұрын

    Did a couple fun calculations on it, I counted 18 insults, for an average of 45 damage (Assuming a bard lower than level 5) if they all hit (Which they definitely seem like they did) Guards have 11 hitpoints, man must be built like an ox to take it on the chin like that. (Or be a Knight, that would allow him enough HP to survive)

  • @realdragon

    @realdragon

    Жыл бұрын

    Guard: You know what's gooey, hot and black? *Pours boiling oil*

  • @stephenadams8712

    @stephenadams8712

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@@levelynn3853 it also depends on how many wisdom saving throws succeed

  • @levelynn3853

    @levelynn3853

    Жыл бұрын

    @@stephenadams8712 That's what I meant with they all hit, because those all definitely seemed to land

  • @deltaduck8353

    @deltaduck8353

    Жыл бұрын

    @@levelynn3853He did nearly walk away from him

  • @kylethomas9130
    @kylethomas9130 Жыл бұрын

    Bard [Returns to Party]: Okay, these guards are pretty tough. That was at least 17d4 Psychic damage.

  • @Thecodytree

    @Thecodytree

    Жыл бұрын

    i rolled 44!

  • @bronzeblueeaglehellblaze4033

    @bronzeblueeaglehellblaze4033

    Жыл бұрын

    Dang I got 43

  • @The_Serious_Chicken

    @The_Serious_Chicken

    Жыл бұрын

    I don’t know how but I rolled a 15

  • @MrMaradok

    @MrMaradok

    Жыл бұрын

    @@The_Serious_Chicken check under the table, you might be missing a few

  • @ambereeeeee

    @ambereeeeee

    Жыл бұрын

    i got 50, yeah they're pretty tough

  • @nightmaregenet
    @nightmaregenet Жыл бұрын

    “your mother was an owlbear and your father smelt of goodberries” 😂

  • @DoctorHalloween

    @DoctorHalloween

    Жыл бұрын

    I don't get that one

  • @loreseeker1881

    @loreseeker1881

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@@DoctorHalloween It's a reference to Monty Python's Holy grail movie. Great movie. 😊

  • @blackmage471

    @blackmage471

    Жыл бұрын

    @@DoctorHalloween You poor, poor, sheltered soul.

  • @Lazarus131s3

    @Lazarus131s3

    Жыл бұрын

    @@DoctorHalloween Basically his father was a hippie druid fucking an owlbear

  • @TheRedSoulofDT

    @TheRedSoulofDT

    Жыл бұрын

    @@DoctorHalloween ouch my soul. In Monty Python and the Holy Grail King Arthur was insulted by a French Guardsman in a castle and one of the lines said was "your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries"

  • @CX7thetherapist
    @CX7thetherapist Жыл бұрын

    Absolutely love the Monty Python references, truly a man of culture

  • @bungerroyale112

    @bungerroyale112

    Жыл бұрын

    Also noticed this immediately

  • @laurelgrey7602

    @laurelgrey7602

    Жыл бұрын

    My thought exactly

  • @cristiaolson7327

    @cristiaolson7327

    Жыл бұрын

    The second it showed him running towards the castle, I was like "Yesssss, Holy Grail jokes!"

  • @Phenris

    @Phenris

    Жыл бұрын

    Same XD

  • @annatarsoly941

    @annatarsoly941

    Жыл бұрын

    Same, noticed it immediately, and love it

  • @redscallionanimations2167
    @redscallionanimations2167 Жыл бұрын

    “I cast Stinking Cloud in your general direction!”

  • @OneShotQuesters

    @OneShotQuesters

    Жыл бұрын

    Ah that one is amazing!!

  • @redscallionanimations2167

    @redscallionanimations2167

    Жыл бұрын

    @@OneShotQuesters thanks!

  • @loreseeker1881

    @loreseeker1881

    Жыл бұрын

    😂😂

  • @gilligan8795

    @gilligan8795

    Жыл бұрын

    Leans over "I think that made him smell better"

  • @loreseeker1881

    @loreseeker1881

    Жыл бұрын

    @@gilligan8795 LOL!

  • @builder969channel6
    @builder969channel6 Жыл бұрын

    This is the exact reason they used to keep cauldrons of boiling oil on castle walls, so they could pour it on annoying bards

  • @dariuszblack7956

    @dariuszblack7956

    Жыл бұрын

    I prefered French cauldron of lead. It created such heated piece of art!

  • @unevennoble9363

    @unevennoble9363

    6 ай бұрын

    Maybe grab a few warlocks. Try dodging 4 agonizing eldritch spears.

  • @JBrunette
    @JBrunette Жыл бұрын

    nice Monty Python reference at the start

  • @p.a.4512

    @p.a.4512

    Жыл бұрын

    and the end

  • @1urie1

    @1urie1

    Жыл бұрын

    @@p.a.4512 and my axe!

  • @maitrecorbeau_gm

    @maitrecorbeau_gm

    Жыл бұрын

    Was sure he would speak french at some point

  • @katetoolate234

    @katetoolate234

    Жыл бұрын

    I was gonna say the same thing

  • @anyderrosek9272

    @anyderrosek9272

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@@1urie1 and my reference!

  • @applecoreeater
    @applecoreeater Жыл бұрын

    The Bard storming a castle with nothing more than Vicious Mockery

  • @SergioAzamuth
    @SergioAzamuth Жыл бұрын

    "Why does your face look like I need to ask my cleric to cast Greater Restoration?" -- "Know any Druids?" "Why?" "Get them to cast Regenerate see if you grow your balls back!" -- "Your face maked me wish I knew how to cast Blind, so I could save myself from having to look at you!" Those are the ones I could think of while watching this xD

  • @adamschank7703

    @adamschank7703

    Жыл бұрын

    "You are proof that even the gods make mistakes" "Your yell didn't scare me. Your breath on the other hand..." "Everyone is allowed to make mistakes now and then, but I feel you're abusing the privilege!" "I'd call you a pile of dung, but you lack both the depth and the warmth!" "Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence?"

  • @MichaelRainey

    @MichaelRainey

    6 ай бұрын

    "Thy countenance bears great resemblance to a bugbear's posterior." "Did you cast stinking cloud or do you always smell like this?" "Is that your armor? Do they make it for adults, too?"

  • @alexplaysandedits2356

    @alexplaysandedits2356

    2 ай бұрын

    @@adamschank7703 I love this.

  • @Real-Shadow
    @Real-Shadow Жыл бұрын

    "That line will work real well for my next sleep spell" is amazing

  • @javid29
    @javid29 Жыл бұрын

    Yep. Saving all of these for if I ever play a bard again

  • @emberfist8347

    @emberfist8347

    Жыл бұрын

    I think here is a another good one for the BBEG ask them if they if there is a real threatening villain around as you failed to find one. Also "Your mother is so ugly the local hag coven sued her for ruining their public image."

  • @juanabreu3619
    @juanabreu3619 Жыл бұрын

    We actually use the owlbear one quite a lot, but instead of an owlbear we say murlock. Don't know where it started but it always cracks me up 😂😂😂

  • @cyberbearbonjour

    @cyberbearbonjour

    Жыл бұрын

    I think it started with a Hearthstone card that said "your mother was a murloc" when it was played

  • @juanabreu3619

    @juanabreu3619

    Жыл бұрын

    @@cyberbearbonjour interesting

  • @user-vx5ki2pi7i

    @user-vx5ki2pi7i

    7 ай бұрын

    ​@@cyberbearbonjour i must know

  • @J1xx1C
    @J1xx1C Жыл бұрын

    " EZEKIEL!" That legendary reference 😂

  • @KasaiRayquaza
    @KasaiRayquaza Жыл бұрын

    I appreciate the Monty Python references throughout this. That's one of my favorite movies.

  • @emmasilver2332
    @emmasilver2332 Жыл бұрын

    Bard: I think you're an awesome singer, you should sing more often! Guard: Wait, really? Bard: Oh, sorry, I was actually talking to that gelatinous cube over there.

  • @theinnerhollow3006
    @theinnerhollow3006 Жыл бұрын

    Got to write some of these down! Literally couldn't stop laughing until the end(surprised the bard didn't kill anyone with Vicious Mockery)

  • @MichaelRainey

    @MichaelRainey

    6 ай бұрын

    Using vicious mockery on town guards is abuse of a farm animal. Villagers don't like it when you beat up their pigs.

  • @stanisawankowski8243
    @stanisawankowski8243 Жыл бұрын

    Bard: insults the Guard. The Guard: Alright, bring in the Tar Couldron.

  • @LisaVGG
    @LisaVGG Жыл бұрын

    I like how these are in an actual world now instead of just a room.

  • @samuelbastable2028
    @samuelbastable2028 Жыл бұрын

    "I have never met anyone who looked better with an acid splash to the face" Gods damn wow that was harsh and incredible all at the same time.

  • @lonesg1011
    @lonesg1011 Жыл бұрын

    AND HE STICKS THE LANDING! That ending was amazing!

  • @hyzmarie
    @hyzmarie Жыл бұрын

    Once we were facing off against a pirate captain. As our ship neared arrow range and we prepared for battle, one party member launched a “yo mama” joke that had absolutely no impact. So, somebody else told the captain his mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries. The captain was deeply offended, even more so by the fact that I kept casting prestidigitation to soul his clothes.

  • @rianorixalaunana357

    @rianorixalaunana357

    Жыл бұрын

    Isn't Prestidigitation supposed so make things *cleaner*? I'm pretty sure it's supposed to make things cleaner... 😆

  • @Mikowmer

    @Mikowmer

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@@rianorixalaunana357 It can do both, I'm pretty sure.

  • @hyzmarie

    @hyzmarie

    Жыл бұрын

    @@rianorixalaunana357 yeah but you can do the opposite too!

  • @unevennoble9363

    @unevennoble9363

    Жыл бұрын

    It can also make things smell like other things.

  • @hyzmarie

    @hyzmarie

    Жыл бұрын

    @@unevennoble9363 huh. I’ll have to do that sometime lol. I’ll probably make everything smell like mayonnaise

  • @mattijsvanmelle4451
    @mattijsvanmelle4451 Жыл бұрын

    the whole video i was waitng for the "your mother was an ... and your father smelled like ..." line we even got the eziekiel joke

  • @timbauer399

    @timbauer399

    Жыл бұрын

    Any chance I could get you to explain the Ezekiel joke? 😂

  • @zevlowenstein9572

    @zevlowenstein9572

    Жыл бұрын

    same here with the monty python.

  • @abrownhare9136

    @abrownhare9136

    4 ай бұрын

    @@timbauer399 Find the Kungfu Panda 2 video with Ezekiel joke

  • @MRandomGuyYT
    @MRandomGuyYT Жыл бұрын

    I will be using these insults in my Campaign

  • @StarKnight619
    @StarKnight619 Жыл бұрын

    "Your mother's favorite monster is a beholder and dragon. She likes to behold these nuts dragging across her face." 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂

  • @dice.brain.
    @dice.brain. Жыл бұрын

    this would be perfect for a distraction in like a heist game!

  • @Eramiserasmus
    @Eramiserasmus Жыл бұрын

    He's still standing. "Since when do guards have proficiency in Wisdom saving throws?"

  • @MichaelRainey

    @MichaelRainey

    6 ай бұрын

    They dump INT, not WIS.

  • @NikFromm
    @NikFromm Жыл бұрын

    I’m guessing that the 2nd guy on the wall was dealing with Tony.

  • @Scorpious187
    @Scorpious187 Жыл бұрын

    I love when channels I support support other channels I support. This is awesome.

  • @piyaroq8189
    @piyaroq8189 Жыл бұрын

    Kudos to those guards. They can take a number of insults and still committed to their guard duties. ...what's wrong with having an owlbear as a mom? 😮 She can rip people in half just fine. What more can you ask?

  • @lambentlamprey

    @lambentlamprey

    9 ай бұрын

    No wonder the bard took off after that last taunt, Mama Owlbear will f him up 🤣

  • @KamenRiderHellhound

    @KamenRiderHellhound

    3 ай бұрын

    The ACTUAL line is: Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of Elderberries Explaination - Hamsters are prolific breeders in the wild and elderberries were made into wine, thus mom was a slut and dad was a drunk.

  • @chantellelawton3185
    @chantellelawton3185 Жыл бұрын

    Love it! Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference. The your mother was an owlbear and your father was smelled of goodberries, makes me laugh every time. 😂😂😂

  • @EveloGrave
    @EveloGrave Жыл бұрын

    "I know you're not an elf because you decided to adventure with us." (The party wide insult)

  • @silverroxas358
    @silverroxas358 Жыл бұрын

    I loved all the Monty Python references. Thank you for this

  • @softsharp8265
    @softsharp8265 Жыл бұрын

    Oh my gosh this is perfect. When the first guard asked the second what he's dealing with the first thing I thought of was Ezekiel. I'm glad you didn't disappoint. This is freaking awesome!

  • @timbauer399

    @timbauer399

    Жыл бұрын

    Could you please explain the Ezekiel reference? I really want to be in on the joke. 🙏🙏🙏

  • @Stevelover0267

    @Stevelover0267

    Жыл бұрын

    I also don't understand the Ezekiel part, please explain?

  • @softsharp8265

    @softsharp8265

    Жыл бұрын

    @@Stevelover0267@Tim Bauer KZread video:Tony and Ezekiel

  • @joshtolsma9799
    @joshtolsma9799 Жыл бұрын

    Damn, gotta write some of these down for vicious mockery

  • @josered-bro5710
    @josered-bro5710 Жыл бұрын

    That ending is extremely underrated 😂😂😂 EZEKIEL!

  • @williamepler2901
    @williamepler2901Күн бұрын

    "Bring that face over to my sword so I can make some improvements" is wild

  • @blackmage471
    @blackmage471 Жыл бұрын

    I'm going to have to remember, "your face looks like it could use a casting of Cure Wounds." And maybe add, "at 9th level!"

  • @vglove8566
    @vglove8566 Жыл бұрын

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail is my favorite movie ever, so this certainly put a smile on my face

  • @thetoastman_the_original
    @thetoastman_the_originalАй бұрын

    Me havin vicious mockery with a d10 and 22 of charisma and bard insparation "im about to mess him up"

  • @Sombrelame
    @Sombrelame Жыл бұрын

    "your mom is an owlbear" how do you know ?

  • @MountainSkies64
    @MountainSkies643 ай бұрын

    Those roasts were as heat as a wizard casting fireball (And dying of 1d4 emotional damage afterwards)

  • @zenixkiryu
    @zenixkiryu Жыл бұрын

    This sounds like some kind of skit where the bard is distracting the gate guards so the rest of the party can sneak around.

  • @huntermccaskill3938
    @huntermccaskill3938 Жыл бұрын

    That was brutal! So horrific! Inconceivable! How dare that guy ask for a name!

  • @demogorghon
    @demogorghon Жыл бұрын

    That was a clever attempt by a bard to assassinate that guard with vicious mockery.

  • @dragonstrike406
    @dragonstrike406 Жыл бұрын

    "Just a guy asking my name. EZEKIEL!" We all know where this is going.

  • @EnigmaticRPG

    @EnigmaticRPG

    2 ай бұрын

    no we don't, plz help

  • @stevencross8937
    @stevencross8937 Жыл бұрын

    Watched this on osqtv yesterday and had a hard time not laughing to loud since i was at work lol

  • @AMoniqueOcampo
    @AMoniqueOcampo Жыл бұрын

    Bards and other users of Vicious Mockery, take your notes!

  • @arancourt5623
    @arancourt5623 Жыл бұрын

    monty python as an opening gag, love it

  • @ComissarYarrick
    @ComissarYarrick Жыл бұрын

    My favourite insult has to be one from Ps:T - "You have a face only sledgehammer could love, and HAD"

  • @figment3242
    @figment32426 ай бұрын

    As the Aasimar jumps off the wall pops his wings and and smites the bard with extra radiant soul damage

  • @wrath4452
    @wrath44528 ай бұрын

    This stuff is great material for my bard character.

  • @Tempestan
    @Tempestan Жыл бұрын

    Love the Monty Python adaptation for the bit. They would be proud.

  • @leannageorge1122
    @leannageorge1122 Жыл бұрын

    Love Luke and the DM Lair. You guys should do an Ad-Barian and Barbarian team up.

  • @OdinTheBruzzer23
    @OdinTheBruzzer23 Жыл бұрын

    Love your videos man

  • @napoleoncomplex2712
    @napoleoncomplex2712 Жыл бұрын

    'You look like you could benefit from the invisibility spell.'

  • @jukesdtj656
    @jukesdtj656 Жыл бұрын

    *Ahem* Both your mind and your spine will be obtuse when I'm done with you.

  • @newdonktimes2034
    @newdonktimes2034 Жыл бұрын

    Me “I wonder if he will make a Monty python reference.” “You’re mother is an owl bear and your father smelled of good berries.” Me “yes he did the thing… wait how does he know what his father smells like though?”

  • @pandorawolf8239
    @pandorawolf8239 Жыл бұрын

    I need to write these down for vicious mockery.

  • @NickAsNickName
    @NickAsNickName Жыл бұрын

    Here to study for Vicious Mockery 101

  • @Skullhawk13
    @Skullhawk13 Жыл бұрын

    “Your cooking is so bad no poison resist will save you”

  • @LadyElaineLovegood
    @LadyElaineLovegood Жыл бұрын

    Love the homage to Monty Python.

  • @Jimbo877CashNow
    @Jimbo877CashNow Жыл бұрын

    When Shorsey plays a Bard and uses Vicious Mockery

  • @averyofhousejade1176

    @averyofhousejade1176

    Жыл бұрын

    Ha! I get that reference!

  • @mariusbeyer2357
    @mariusbeyer2357 Жыл бұрын

    The guard made all his saves against vicious mockery

  • @justiron5082
    @justiron5082 Жыл бұрын

    Chef kiss to that ending.

  • @thesong7877
    @thesong7877 Жыл бұрын

    Ok you really got me at the end there.

  • @teejoverhaegen7248
    @teejoverhaegen7248 Жыл бұрын

    Me: reads thumbnail My barbarian who got raised by an owlbear: So this is the kind of videos you watch, huh?

  • @operationdeadmemes3498
    @operationdeadmemes3498 Жыл бұрын

    What is the fly speed of a Red Dragon? What do you mean? A wyrmling or any other Red Dragon? Huh? I don't know that! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • @the_jingo
    @the_jingo10 ай бұрын

    Damn what level is that paladin to tank all that psychic damage?

  • @kuroyuki6254
    @kuroyuki6254 Жыл бұрын

    I expected him to dump hot oil on the dude

  • @hogfry
    @hogfry6 ай бұрын

    I had a player use something similar at the table once for a vicious mockery attack. I'd skip the wisdom saving throw if they could make anyone at the table laugh... "Your mother was an owlbear and your father had a thing for the smell of wet fur!"

  • @Aziara86
    @Aziara86 Жыл бұрын

    Lol these will work great for Vicious Mockery

  • @virus8538
    @virus8538 Жыл бұрын

    Man just went out of his way to insult the poor guard

  • @DragonProtector
    @DragonProtector Жыл бұрын

    Loved this

  • @forged8323
    @forged8323 Жыл бұрын

    There are so many memes in this video it's the greatest thing on the internet.

  • @alexi4829
    @alexi4829 Жыл бұрын

    I'm gonna have to remember "your mother was an owlbear and your father smelled of goodberries" for my totally-not-a-Monty-Python-parody NPC

  • @Brutus0417
    @Brutus0417 Жыл бұрын

    The Monty Python reference at the beginning is perfect.

  • @TheWorstestPro
    @TheWorstestPro Жыл бұрын

    "Do you understand common, or need I cast speak with animals?"

  • @ProfessorAragorn
    @ProfessorAragorn Жыл бұрын

    This is why kingdoms poured hot oil from their guard house positions.

  • @TylerYoshi
    @TylerYoshi2 ай бұрын

    And that's how the other guard lost his name to a fae.

  • @astaven9439
    @astaven9439 Жыл бұрын

    "What did you do to draw the ire of [insert deity of beauty] that bad?"

  • @SpideyWarsStudios
    @SpideyWarsStudios Жыл бұрын

    Idk how many people got the last joke, but that was awesome. "Ezekiel? That name f*ckin' SUCKS!!"

  • @RyanJamesOfficial
    @RyanJamesOfficial Жыл бұрын

    Nice "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" set piece and reference lolol

  • @Pokemaniak180
    @Pokemaniak18011 ай бұрын

    I've got to find a way to use "Your village must really miss their idiot"

  • @thebipolargamer3052
    @thebipolargamer3052 Жыл бұрын

    im starting a new campaign tomorrow and i really want to use these at some point

  • @SaviorsofCriusRPG
    @SaviorsofCriusRPG Жыл бұрын

    I need to remember these insults for when I play a bard.

  • @goldexperience3084
    @goldexperience3084 Жыл бұрын

    All that for a monty python reference, love this channel

  • @user-gk9lg5sp4y
    @user-gk9lg5sp4y6 ай бұрын

    I know this is an old video, but the best dwarf insult is, "Your momma braids her beard into to handles."

  • @brandentempelmeyer4785
    @brandentempelmeyer4785 Жыл бұрын

    lmfao i love the ending i just watched that Ezekiel video

  • @RawwkinGrimmie64
    @RawwkinGrimmie64 Жыл бұрын

    I assume the guy asking for the guard's name was Tony.

  • @crashfast5781
    @crashfast5781 Жыл бұрын

    “You look like a first edition beholder”

  • @hissignaturestudios6869
    @hissignaturestudios6869 Жыл бұрын

    I loved the Monty Python reference in the beginning.

  • @mikesands4681
    @mikesands4681 Жыл бұрын

    Ramping up the costuming!

  • @privateeyety5735
    @privateeyety5735 Жыл бұрын

    Great insults, threw me for a loop with the Ezekial hit. Who bets its same guy?

  • @timwardo5877
    @timwardo5877 Жыл бұрын

    In our game, one of our players characters adoptive dad got reverse crucified and we made it a recurring joke to tell him his dad died when he acts dumb, and our dm even makes his ghost tel him to clean the poop deck randomly

  • @carolannedewar5066
    @carolannedewar5066 Жыл бұрын

    Alt ending:guard:*shoots him dead*

  • @chillypiplup2347
    @chillypiplup2347 Жыл бұрын

    Vicious mockery in a whole other level

  • @WeirdoMaxim
    @WeirdoMaxim Жыл бұрын

    I see you also played "Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator"!

  • @armeetapus16
    @armeetapus16 Жыл бұрын

    Nice TVMaxwell reference at the end there

  • @cigarrando1126
    @cigarrando1126 Жыл бұрын

    Man, the references

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