Best Dungeons and Dragons Insults | A D&D Sketch
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What are the best insults, or Vicious Mockery, lines you can deal in D&D? Well here are some examples! Thanks to Emily for the help with our research: mykindofmeeple.com/cutting-wo...
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Пікірлер: 369
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@blackbeltgamer98fire-spitt96
Жыл бұрын
Uh…did the guy asking for Ezekiel’s name have the Calabash?
@bakuiel1901
Жыл бұрын
Never thought to see Luke's mag advertised here but cool
@leannageorge1122
Жыл бұрын
alright, YOU did it. I watch DM Lair a lot, but have never subscribed. I am tonight, just cause Ad Barian sent me. *lol* I've been procrastinating for years (okay probably months)
@LittleDemon66
Жыл бұрын
Hi can everyone or anyone help me with a idea I wanted to make a homebrew class something like a mix of a necromancer,cleric and artistic. The idea is the class will be able to dismembered monsters. Use the body parts to replace their own obviously restrictions depending on size and Weight and compatibility. Thx
I was actually surprised the guard didn’t drop dead from the collective Psychic damage with all of this “vicious mockery”.
@levelynn3853
Жыл бұрын
Did a couple fun calculations on it, I counted 18 insults, for an average of 45 damage (Assuming a bard lower than level 5) if they all hit (Which they definitely seem like they did) Guards have 11 hitpoints, man must be built like an ox to take it on the chin like that. (Or be a Knight, that would allow him enough HP to survive)
@realdragon
Жыл бұрын
Guard: You know what's gooey, hot and black? *Pours boiling oil*
@stephenadams8712
Жыл бұрын
@@levelynn3853 it also depends on how many wisdom saving throws succeed
@levelynn3853
Жыл бұрын
@@stephenadams8712 That's what I meant with they all hit, because those all definitely seemed to land
@deltaduck8353
Жыл бұрын
@@levelynn3853He did nearly walk away from him
Bard [Returns to Party]: Okay, these guards are pretty tough. That was at least 17d4 Psychic damage.
@Thecodytree
Жыл бұрын
i rolled 44!
@bronzeblueeaglehellblaze4033
Жыл бұрын
Dang I got 43
@The_Serious_Chicken
Жыл бұрын
I don’t know how but I rolled a 15
@MrMaradok
Жыл бұрын
@@The_Serious_Chicken check under the table, you might be missing a few
@ambereeeeee
Жыл бұрын
i got 50, yeah they're pretty tough
“your mother was an owlbear and your father smelt of goodberries” 😂
@DoctorHalloween
Жыл бұрын
I don't get that one
@loreseeker1881
Жыл бұрын
@@DoctorHalloween It's a reference to Monty Python's Holy grail movie. Great movie. 😊
@blackmage471
Жыл бұрын
@@DoctorHalloween You poor, poor, sheltered soul.
@Lazarus131s3
Жыл бұрын
@@DoctorHalloween Basically his father was a hippie druid fucking an owlbear
@TheRedSoulofDT
Жыл бұрын
@@DoctorHalloween ouch my soul. In Monty Python and the Holy Grail King Arthur was insulted by a French Guardsman in a castle and one of the lines said was "your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries"
Absolutely love the Monty Python references, truly a man of culture
@bungerroyale112
Жыл бұрын
Also noticed this immediately
@laurelgrey7602
Жыл бұрын
My thought exactly
@cristiaolson7327
Жыл бұрын
The second it showed him running towards the castle, I was like "Yesssss, Holy Grail jokes!"
@Phenris
Жыл бұрын
Same XD
@annatarsoly941
Жыл бұрын
Same, noticed it immediately, and love it
“I cast Stinking Cloud in your general direction!”
@OneShotQuesters
Жыл бұрын
Ah that one is amazing!!
@redscallionanimations2167
Жыл бұрын
@@OneShotQuesters thanks!
@loreseeker1881
Жыл бұрын
😂😂
@gilligan8795
Жыл бұрын
Leans over "I think that made him smell better"
@loreseeker1881
Жыл бұрын
@@gilligan8795 LOL!
This is the exact reason they used to keep cauldrons of boiling oil on castle walls, so they could pour it on annoying bards
@dariuszblack7956
Жыл бұрын
I prefered French cauldron of lead. It created such heated piece of art!
@unevennoble9363
6 ай бұрын
Maybe grab a few warlocks. Try dodging 4 agonizing eldritch spears.
nice Monty Python reference at the start
@p.a.4512
Жыл бұрын
and the end
@1urie1
Жыл бұрын
@@p.a.4512 and my axe!
@maitrecorbeau_gm
Жыл бұрын
Was sure he would speak french at some point
@katetoolate234
Жыл бұрын
I was gonna say the same thing
@anyderrosek9272
Жыл бұрын
@@1urie1 and my reference!
The Bard storming a castle with nothing more than Vicious Mockery
"Why does your face look like I need to ask my cleric to cast Greater Restoration?" -- "Know any Druids?" "Why?" "Get them to cast Regenerate see if you grow your balls back!" -- "Your face maked me wish I knew how to cast Blind, so I could save myself from having to look at you!" Those are the ones I could think of while watching this xD
@adamschank7703
Жыл бұрын
"You are proof that even the gods make mistakes" "Your yell didn't scare me. Your breath on the other hand..." "Everyone is allowed to make mistakes now and then, but I feel you're abusing the privilege!" "I'd call you a pile of dung, but you lack both the depth and the warmth!" "Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence?"
@MichaelRainey
6 ай бұрын
"Thy countenance bears great resemblance to a bugbear's posterior." "Did you cast stinking cloud or do you always smell like this?" "Is that your armor? Do they make it for adults, too?"
@alexplaysandedits2356
2 ай бұрын
@@adamschank7703 I love this.
"That line will work real well for my next sleep spell" is amazing
Yep. Saving all of these for if I ever play a bard again
@emberfist8347
Жыл бұрын
I think here is a another good one for the BBEG ask them if they if there is a real threatening villain around as you failed to find one. Also "Your mother is so ugly the local hag coven sued her for ruining their public image."
We actually use the owlbear one quite a lot, but instead of an owlbear we say murlock. Don't know where it started but it always cracks me up 😂😂😂
@cyberbearbonjour
Жыл бұрын
I think it started with a Hearthstone card that said "your mother was a murloc" when it was played
@juanabreu3619
Жыл бұрын
@@cyberbearbonjour interesting
@user-vx5ki2pi7i
7 ай бұрын
@@cyberbearbonjour i must know
" EZEKIEL!" That legendary reference 😂
I appreciate the Monty Python references throughout this. That's one of my favorite movies.
Bard: I think you're an awesome singer, you should sing more often! Guard: Wait, really? Bard: Oh, sorry, I was actually talking to that gelatinous cube over there.
Got to write some of these down! Literally couldn't stop laughing until the end(surprised the bard didn't kill anyone with Vicious Mockery)
@MichaelRainey
6 ай бұрын
Using vicious mockery on town guards is abuse of a farm animal. Villagers don't like it when you beat up their pigs.
Bard: insults the Guard. The Guard: Alright, bring in the Tar Couldron.
I like how these are in an actual world now instead of just a room.
"I have never met anyone who looked better with an acid splash to the face" Gods damn wow that was harsh and incredible all at the same time.
AND HE STICKS THE LANDING! That ending was amazing!
Once we were facing off against a pirate captain. As our ship neared arrow range and we prepared for battle, one party member launched a “yo mama” joke that had absolutely no impact. So, somebody else told the captain his mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries. The captain was deeply offended, even more so by the fact that I kept casting prestidigitation to soul his clothes.
@rianorixalaunana357
Жыл бұрын
Isn't Prestidigitation supposed so make things *cleaner*? I'm pretty sure it's supposed to make things cleaner... 😆
@Mikowmer
Жыл бұрын
@@rianorixalaunana357 It can do both, I'm pretty sure.
@hyzmarie
Жыл бұрын
@@rianorixalaunana357 yeah but you can do the opposite too!
@unevennoble9363
Жыл бұрын
It can also make things smell like other things.
@hyzmarie
Жыл бұрын
@@unevennoble9363 huh. I’ll have to do that sometime lol. I’ll probably make everything smell like mayonnaise
the whole video i was waitng for the "your mother was an ... and your father smelled like ..." line we even got the eziekiel joke
@timbauer399
Жыл бұрын
Any chance I could get you to explain the Ezekiel joke? 😂
@zevlowenstein9572
Жыл бұрын
same here with the monty python.
@abrownhare9136
4 ай бұрын
@@timbauer399 Find the Kungfu Panda 2 video with Ezekiel joke
I will be using these insults in my Campaign
"Your mother's favorite monster is a beholder and dragon. She likes to behold these nuts dragging across her face." 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
this would be perfect for a distraction in like a heist game!
He's still standing. "Since when do guards have proficiency in Wisdom saving throws?"
@MichaelRainey
6 ай бұрын
They dump INT, not WIS.
I’m guessing that the 2nd guy on the wall was dealing with Tony.
I love when channels I support support other channels I support. This is awesome.
Kudos to those guards. They can take a number of insults and still committed to their guard duties. ...what's wrong with having an owlbear as a mom? 😮 She can rip people in half just fine. What more can you ask?
@lambentlamprey
9 ай бұрын
No wonder the bard took off after that last taunt, Mama Owlbear will f him up 🤣
@KamenRiderHellhound
3 ай бұрын
The ACTUAL line is: Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of Elderberries Explaination - Hamsters are prolific breeders in the wild and elderberries were made into wine, thus mom was a slut and dad was a drunk.
Love it! Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference. The your mother was an owlbear and your father was smelled of goodberries, makes me laugh every time. 😂😂😂
"I know you're not an elf because you decided to adventure with us." (The party wide insult)
I loved all the Monty Python references. Thank you for this
Oh my gosh this is perfect. When the first guard asked the second what he's dealing with the first thing I thought of was Ezekiel. I'm glad you didn't disappoint. This is freaking awesome!
@timbauer399
Жыл бұрын
Could you please explain the Ezekiel reference? I really want to be in on the joke. 🙏🙏🙏
@Stevelover0267
Жыл бұрын
I also don't understand the Ezekiel part, please explain?
@softsharp8265
Жыл бұрын
@@Stevelover0267@Tim Bauer KZread video:Tony and Ezekiel
Damn, gotta write some of these down for vicious mockery
That ending is extremely underrated 😂😂😂 EZEKIEL!
"Bring that face over to my sword so I can make some improvements" is wild
I'm going to have to remember, "your face looks like it could use a casting of Cure Wounds." And maybe add, "at 9th level!"
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is my favorite movie ever, so this certainly put a smile on my face
Me havin vicious mockery with a d10 and 22 of charisma and bard insparation "im about to mess him up"
"your mom is an owlbear" how do you know ?
Those roasts were as heat as a wizard casting fireball (And dying of 1d4 emotional damage afterwards)
This sounds like some kind of skit where the bard is distracting the gate guards so the rest of the party can sneak around.
That was brutal! So horrific! Inconceivable! How dare that guy ask for a name!
That was a clever attempt by a bard to assassinate that guard with vicious mockery.
"Just a guy asking my name. EZEKIEL!" We all know where this is going.
@EnigmaticRPG
2 ай бұрын
no we don't, plz help
Watched this on osqtv yesterday and had a hard time not laughing to loud since i was at work lol
Bards and other users of Vicious Mockery, take your notes!
monty python as an opening gag, love it
My favourite insult has to be one from Ps:T - "You have a face only sledgehammer could love, and HAD"
As the Aasimar jumps off the wall pops his wings and and smites the bard with extra radiant soul damage
This stuff is great material for my bard character.
Love the Monty Python adaptation for the bit. They would be proud.
Love Luke and the DM Lair. You guys should do an Ad-Barian and Barbarian team up.
Love your videos man
'You look like you could benefit from the invisibility spell.'
*Ahem* Both your mind and your spine will be obtuse when I'm done with you.
Me “I wonder if he will make a Monty python reference.” “You’re mother is an owl bear and your father smelled of good berries.” Me “yes he did the thing… wait how does he know what his father smells like though?”
I need to write these down for vicious mockery.
Here to study for Vicious Mockery 101
“Your cooking is so bad no poison resist will save you”
Love the homage to Monty Python.
When Shorsey plays a Bard and uses Vicious Mockery
@averyofhousejade1176
Жыл бұрын
Ha! I get that reference!
The guard made all his saves against vicious mockery
Chef kiss to that ending.
Ok you really got me at the end there.
Me: reads thumbnail My barbarian who got raised by an owlbear: So this is the kind of videos you watch, huh?
What is the fly speed of a Red Dragon? What do you mean? A wyrmling or any other Red Dragon? Huh? I don't know that! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Damn what level is that paladin to tank all that psychic damage?
I expected him to dump hot oil on the dude
I had a player use something similar at the table once for a vicious mockery attack. I'd skip the wisdom saving throw if they could make anyone at the table laugh... "Your mother was an owlbear and your father had a thing for the smell of wet fur!"
Lol these will work great for Vicious Mockery
Man just went out of his way to insult the poor guard
Loved this
There are so many memes in this video it's the greatest thing on the internet.
I'm gonna have to remember "your mother was an owlbear and your father smelled of goodberries" for my totally-not-a-Monty-Python-parody NPC
The Monty Python reference at the beginning is perfect.
"Do you understand common, or need I cast speak with animals?"
This is why kingdoms poured hot oil from their guard house positions.
And that's how the other guard lost his name to a fae.
"What did you do to draw the ire of [insert deity of beauty] that bad?"
Idk how many people got the last joke, but that was awesome. "Ezekiel? That name f*ckin' SUCKS!!"
Nice "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" set piece and reference lolol
I've got to find a way to use "Your village must really miss their idiot"
im starting a new campaign tomorrow and i really want to use these at some point
I need to remember these insults for when I play a bard.
All that for a monty python reference, love this channel
I know this is an old video, but the best dwarf insult is, "Your momma braids her beard into to handles."
lmfao i love the ending i just watched that Ezekiel video
I assume the guy asking for the guard's name was Tony.
“You look like a first edition beholder”
I loved the Monty Python reference in the beginning.
Ramping up the costuming!
Great insults, threw me for a loop with the Ezekial hit. Who bets its same guy?
In our game, one of our players characters adoptive dad got reverse crucified and we made it a recurring joke to tell him his dad died when he acts dumb, and our dm even makes his ghost tel him to clean the poop deck randomly
Alt ending:guard:*shoots him dead*
Vicious mockery in a whole other level
I see you also played "Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator"!
Nice TVMaxwell reference at the end there
Man, the references