I really hate it when people invade my personal space and force me to speak like can i have some peace and quiet for god sakes

@Aneva

2 ай бұрын

I felt like a lot of environments (like school, esp with group activities) make us uncomfortable but we aren’t given the option to leave. I wish we could opt-out of those real life situations sometimes!

"Wanting to break stuff!" That made me laugh; the amount of times at work and before that at school where I'd have to awkwardly hand back a pen to someone only for them to find that I'd snapped the clip off the lid or misshaped the bottom from fiddling with it constantly! 😂😂😂😂

@Aneva

2 ай бұрын

Yes!!! And figuring out which items will not break!

@thabozzofficial

2 ай бұрын

@@Aneva ...They all break eventually...🤭🤭

This is how I would explain *Neurotypical “masking”:* You may face a few bad job interviews, but eventually learn you meant to act a certain way in an interview. Once that way is learned and they accept that’s how it is and move on. *Autistic Masking:* You hear things like “be yourself yourself” and although someone might tell you you should act a certain way for an interview you thought since there were contradictory opinions it was all down to a matter of opinion and their was no “right” answer. Through a series of events you wonder why you aren’t getting hired because you feel like you are qualified for the job. You realize that through a series of events there IS a right answer. You wonder why it even matters when you are the most qualified for the job. You wonder what the point is in performing the social niceties. You feel uncomfortable with the fact that it’s normalized to “stretch the truth” on your resume etc. to get the job. You have to go through a series of KZread videos to figure out what to do and not to do through every step from applying to jobs down to the interview to figure out what you’re supposed to be doing. Throughout this process you feel disheartened by the fact that you feel like you have to hide everything that is yourself just to get a job and wonder why it isn’t accepted to just be yourself. Lastly, Manipulation is more like playing 4D chess with people basically and intentionally planning to do things with only your goal in mind without much care about how it will affect others.

@Aneva

2 ай бұрын

The part about having to hide everything about yourself to get the job really hit me just now. That’s exactly what we do. He hide everything, not just add things to ourselves that look “good”. Very well written, thank you!!

Yes, i can completely relate to masking by holding in so many words and movements back! Like I am definitely someone who forces myself to speak at times but usually I am just so so bubbly but have to reign it all in!! It's so exhausting :'( Sending restfulness and time to unmask to everyone 💗💗💗

It can feel like manipulation sometimes especially if you struggle with communication, delayed processing etc. the difference when we mask is that we need to be ‘firing on all cylinders’ in order to do it, which leaves us deficient or lacking in other executive functions

@Catlily5

2 ай бұрын

Maybe that's why I can't mask. I am not firing on all four cylinders.

ive realized as an autistic person, that autistic masking is when i have to overanaylze and plan ahead every single interaction i have/could have or objective i have to do for that day. It becomes a very exhaustive task to the point where i shut down and no longer show any emotions; and then i suddenly seem "strange" or "unpresentable" whether it be at work or any social setting.

@Aneva

2 ай бұрын

Yeah I still can’t believe that that’s not a typical thing to do! It’s hard to believe that people don’t think so intentionally about their actions beforehand

I think the difference between masking and manipulation is actually simpler to describe: Autistic people don't seem to have habits, just routines. So autistic masking is attempting to manually approximate the unconscious learned social behaviors of other people, but without the ability to turn those behaviors into habits, and even one single second not being entirely focused on it would lead to just falling back to more instinctual behaviors. So all of the stuff that non-autistic people do manually, autistic people are still doing that stuff manually. But the other stuff that other people internalize and automate as habits, that stuff we're also doing manually.

This is a great video, and very informative !

@Aneva

2 ай бұрын

Thank you very much

@Aneva

2 ай бұрын

I didn’t add an exclamation mark, here ✨!✨

People have always made comments about me, because I an quiet and don't talk much. I dont let it bother any more. I realize I dont want judgemental people in my life anyway.

@Aneva

2 ай бұрын

I definitely agree that the people we keep in our lives should accept us for who we are!

Hey! I’m the same commenter from your recent TT, anyways thanks for responding! It’s great to find someone I relate to a lot, as someone who’s scoped TT for ND creators to relate to the most it’s been really hard, maybe because I couldn’t exactly relate to them or I could but the way they represent certain things (ADHD representation talking fast, hyper, and happy while Autism is blank, calm ect,) but I feel like it’s swapped for me, and it would be hard for me to relate. Also maybe I feel more connected to your platform because your a POC! Same here! Maybe I subconsciously feel like seeing people who are more like me makes me relate to them more, even though I’m not African-American, or maybe it’s because the way you talk about your experiences with being ND related to me a lot more.. But I do have another question, could someone who is an undiagnosed ND mask so well that they can’t realize they’re ND because of their masking that they did subconsciously because of society? I feel like if I’m ND I make a lot, and when stress is put on my shoulders it feels like that mask slips until I get very stressed, anyways thanks so much for making these videos, you’ve helped lots of people have a good day!!!🙂🙂

woah,spooky :0

Do you find that your symptoms get worse as you get older? Maybe I’m just in the wrong career field :(

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🩷

When did you get an official diagnosis?

@Aneva

Ай бұрын

2021!

@jesterskully563

Ай бұрын

I Got diagnosed in 2011. It was a late diagnosis. Looking back, it answered a lot of questions I had.