I’m twenty five and my mom is going to help me seek a diagnosis for ASD. When I began looking into it I just broke down because all this time I thought I was a bad person, and not fit for life like everyone else, but in reality, I’m just made differently and that’s okay. I’m positive I’m on the spectrum and once I accepted that within myself, it was like all the hate and anger left my body and for the first time in my entire life I felt like I finally accepted myself for who I am! I know it’s harder for females to get diagnosed, so I’m scared I won’t get the help I need.

@jilliantaylor6946

3 жыл бұрын

I talk with my psychologist tomorrow. I'm terrified she'll tell me I'm crazy. With no sense of self during my last diagnosis of bipolar 2 im sure it did look like that! I had no idea I didn't even understand me yet! How did it go for you?

@cheesybits834

Жыл бұрын

I’ve felt the same as you ;-; my autistic friends told me I was definitely autistic and it makes so much sense now. I don’t hate myself anymore

With masking, do you find you can take on the interests and ambitions of the person you admire? For example, if I'm watching a show with a badass female detective, I'll be obsessed with the idea of becoming a detective for the next few weeks to the point that I spend hours researching it and temporarily abandon my other projects. After which, something else will draw me in. Combining this with my lack of concentration and executive function, I end up in in limbo. I've not progressed at all in life because I can't pin down what it is that *I* truly want out of life. Who am I outside of the stories I tell myself?

@MzMinnie789

3 жыл бұрын

I am exactly like this too! Please tell me if you’ve found out what causes this?

@Nyxiria

2 жыл бұрын

Relating to this so much!

I got diagnosed when I was 35 and when ever I had a meltdown family would say I’m playing the autistic card for sympathy it just made me not want to be round people

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

Wow that’s complete lack of understanding and compassion for somebody who is going through something they genuinely cannot help. But don’t let it stop you from being around people! 💖

@faerefolke

4 жыл бұрын

My mom tells me that

@ellashealthnhappiness5040

4 жыл бұрын

Rebecca Benway Anyone, who says that to you, isn’t showing any validation for your genuine feelings. They aren’t being compassionate towards you or respecting you. You deserve to be respected and valued as an individual - we all do! 🧡

As a writer and performing artist who is looking to go through the ASD diagnosis process, your channel is so inspiring to me, to see someone who is living their life not in spite of autism, but celebrating it! Thank you for being you and giving others the courage to do the same! xo

I'm going for an Autism screening soon and was thinking "I dont have it, I'm over reacting" but you've settled it for me. Everything you're saying is me. Thank you for making this .

Here’s a wild one for you. My particular “tic” that I’ll do when I’m self comforting is touching my thumb as quickly as possible to my pinkie, my ring finger, my middle finger, pointer, and back again. Well, I was attacked by a guy that was drugged out and hallucinating. He nearly stabbed me to death. Obviously survived, but he did succeed in severing most of the nerves that control my fingers. Just imagine trying to do the self comforting action you’ve done your whole life, but suddenly can’t. Just can’t. My already fractured mind REALLY went bonkers for quite a while. Thankfully after 4 surgeries by some VERY talented surgeons, I’ve regained use of most of my fingers. My left thumb isn’t able to bend still, but I can resume my little tic and just being able to do that again has done wonders for my well being.

Thank you for making this video! Loss of sense of self is what has led me down the "Am I on the autism spectrum?" rabbit hole.

I've been going through an identity crisis lately and I've started to suspect ASD... but I'm so scared. I don't even know where to get started, it all feels so overwhelming.. thank you so much for making this video.

@Eliwi

3 жыл бұрын

@Donkey wow, thank you! I'll look into it

you loosing your sense of self because of copying i can relate to so much. And also how you describe your teenage years. I think i might be on the spectrum and the more research I do the more certain i am. I copied people as a coping mechanism since probably about 5th grade, that was the first time I felt like I really had friends. I had a few friends before that but i felt more of an urge to fit in with everyone once I entered fifth grade. I genuinely dont know how much i pretended to like the same things to try and fit in and how much i actually liked them now that i am realizing what I was doing. Socializing has been a struggle for me my whole life and Im just now realizing why ive experienced it this way.

Not everyone is "on the spectrum", but there is something called broad autism phenotype (BAP). This refers to people who have markedly more autistic traits than the "average" person, but not at a severe enough level to meet a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). As one American clinician said, "The line between BAP and ASD is arbitrary, or to put it another way, the definition of 'autism' is whatever the psychiatric profession says it is." Disclosure: I've never been diagnosed but I strongly suspect that I am on the border between BAP and ASD.

"I can watch the fall of a leaf or the fall of an empire with equal compassion" is a favourite saying for me! Late diagnosed at 48 then I find out that Aspie's have a life expectancy of 35??? But I would love to get my tat refreshed by you sometime.

@5O4evr

3 жыл бұрын

Aspies do NOT have a life expectancy of 35....

At 53 I finally figured it out. I always knew I wasn't normal, my mom would say to me , "if you don't stop acting stupid people will believe you are" I have struggled my whole life with employment and did such a good job at staying in the background that my last supervisor never learned my name I always responded to whatever name he called me and never bothered to correct him I have no friends and prefer to be alone so I don't upset others and so others don't have the opportunity to bully me. I feel like I'm a ghost

Its funny on question 5 it says about questioning life... Thats exactly how I felt in high school... The right words to use was not that I felt different as such... I felt like I never got life but everyone else seemed too. Life seemed so easy for all my peers, I never understood how I was suppose to feel or my purpose. Everything was so hard, I got bullied a lot and never stuck up for myself. At 34 I got diagnosed and everything seemed to make so much more sense. I felt like I can finally be myself 😊.

Have you all looked into how autism in children sky rocketing in the US? ..👀 it is crazy.... Thank you for your vulnerability sharing. This will help many people

Thank you so much for making this video. I got diagnosed in November 2019 at age 15, i wish i was diagnosed younger cause it would of helped me so much. I know 15 is young still but i spent my whole school life asking why am I so different and what’s happening to me. I’m now in college and it’s better. I didn’t tell my friends for 5 months of my diagnosis cause i was scared even though i knew they’d still accept me and they have and nothing’s changed between us. I love them. Ever since I was baby I’ve had autism traits and i don’t get how no one noticed, someone even suggested to my mother that i was autistic when i was like 5 but she didn’t want to look into it.

personally I always think it's helpful to think that your 'self' is not really a given thing from birth, but something thats always changing. There is not really a permanent self, so even the masking part is part of you and your personality. So masking doesn't mean 'faking it' but is more of adapting yourself. But you're still YOU, no matter how much you mask. That thought helps me when I start wondering if im really 'me.'

Oh God me too! Lonely, but most of the time prefer it that way. That won't work because it makes me seem selfish. It does wear me out. 😔

The editing is so cute, lol. Thank you for this video, I really enjoy learning more about autism!

amazing video as the father of a daughter who has Aspergers. They help me understand how to be the best dad to her. Thanks ❤️

Thank you for your honesty, Charl! I found the video very informative and interessting. Hope you will make more videos on this subject, looking forward to it. 😎 Emily

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

Hi Emily! Thanks for your feedback and I will definitely be uploading more soon :) 💖

Hey Charl first of all you are so beautiful and also I have autism so thank you for stating all the facts about it although I was diagnosed at 3 years old (I’m 22 as of 2019), I still struggle with everyday life. Everyone thinks they understand what we people with autism go through however I dare them to walk in our shoes for just one day, AUTISM PRIDE 🧩

I love your channel! I don’t know if you’re still making videos, but I’d love to hear your experience getting diagnosed at 25. I’m 23 and I haven’t been diagnosed, but I’ve started to suspect this year that I am and I’m worried a professional won’t believe me

Your hair is amazing!

The crying shaking and teeth chattering is so me, you stunned me when you said that because I just recently started to educate myself on autism because I felt there was something wrong with me because I’m no longer able to blame all of my stress on my brother and school and I’m just now considering getting a diagnosis as of today and actually spoke to my mom about it and she thinks so too, I just hadn’t heard anyone explain the fits that I have yet until now, so thank you for this video cause you helped me understand myself a little more today ❤️

Your videos have been so helpful charl in understanding my sons autism he is 21 this year and to us he's just Scott we don't discus or badger him about his autism unless he wants to talk to us about it keep up the good work

omg ur so beautiful. your videos really helps me

Thank you for sharing more information about your experience as someone on the spectrum. I’m 28 and was diagnosed a couple of years ago and I’m struggling with my identity as well due to masking. I’m currently working on not trying so hard to fit in and accept and love myself and I can tell I’m slowly breaking down barriers I used to never let go of. It’s really scary not masking. Thanks for your advice regarding dating. It has taken me a very long time to process my diagnosis and was confused when I got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder instead of aspergers, but that was right after aspergers no longer existed in the DSM5. So initially I didn’t really think it was the correct diagnosis because I envisioned them thinking I was low functioning on the spectrum. And I knew I was higher functioning. Anyways, thank you so much for sharing since I can get depressed at times and end up feeling like I’m the only one.

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

Rachel Weisz I think feeling depressed and alone is something we can all feel on the spectrum. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t, but I still remain optimistic and try to stay focused on things I enjoy ☺️ and it’s definitely difficult trying to break the habit of masking after so many years. If only I’d known what I know no! But one step at a time right :) you’re never alone though! And I totally get you about the diagnosis and sometimes it’s easier just to say to people I have Asperger but then they invalidate my struggles then which is annoying. It’s great to hear from another aspie though thanks for reaching out! ☺️

@speakingforcrows5227

4 жыл бұрын

You're not alone, I'm 28 and got diagnosed with high functioning autism last year. I'm also struggling with not masking and my brain fighting with itself regarding if my diagnosis is correct or not. I don't have support from family members or friends regarding autism because they are sceptical about my diagnosis, and they think that I'm fabricating the issues I am now showing instead of masking them. I struggle with loneliness, and I also think about life and the meaning of life itself continuously. It's good to hear I'm not alone - and neither should you feel lonely. It is especially difficult if you look and act neurotypical because people underestimate the internal struggles you might have. But if you ever want to chat about your process I am open to it - I wouldn't mind having a person in the same boat to talk to myself to be honest with you.

Exactly!

Thanks your video have helped me a lot

Thank you

Thank you for making this 😊

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

Holly Potter thankyou for taking the time to watch ☺️

@hollypotter1424

4 жыл бұрын

Charl Davies bless you, have a lovely day 😊 you’re a beautiful human and never let anyone tell you otherwise

I do the same, gimme 20 mins and im over whatever emotion consumed me

Love this! And I love the animations :)

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

Thankyou 💖💖

Your videos are sooo good!

You are not broken

❤

Charl your amazing

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

Thankyou Ellie ☺️😘

What do adults do in a meltdown, like are there different degrees?

@uafbound

3 жыл бұрын

I can only give you my experience being a 29yr old male diagnosed ASD-1 under the DSM-5 standards. Before I was taking Prestiq for anxiety, I used to have emotional outbursts when overwhelmed. In the past I have puts holes in walls, shattered car windows with elbow strikes (happened three separate times). When plans would change in anyway outside of my control, I would get incredibly angry and overwhelmed and would be extremely hostile towards loved ones. Once placed on Prestiq, I personally noticed a huge difference with my ability to cope with change. No holes in walls, or any other destructive behaviors in over a year. That’s just me at 29 years of age. Idk if that helps at all.

Really appreciate your help. This video explains a lot. Thank you x

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks 💖

Hi Charl, I am sorry for my stupid comment. I didn't realize what I wrote and how it sounds. You are an amazing and interessting woman. I think I am sometimes able to write nice, maybe beautiful things and sometimes it is horrable. I think I understand the reason for this extreme differences, I think I am dissociative. I think all people, but ESPECIALLY ME, we use often the wrong words, the wrong wordings, we don't really know the backround of the people or we can't look into the people to see what the wounds are, or what happend to them, I to often lack empathy. Now it is hard to go on, on one hand I think something similar like this happens to autists and on the other hand people get hurt, probably I am a little more hurting than the most autists. I can assure you Charl, that I never intented to hurt you, in fact I think I was in my ego, I didn't think selfcritical, and I wanted to impress a human beiing who impresses me. In real 3D life I am shy and I sometimes feel ghosted, but in fact I am distancing myself. I am fearful of hurting somebody by just being myself. I think I don't really know who I am. I don't grasp it completely right now. Over the Internet I sometimes can be completely different than in my real 3D life. I am sometimes funny and sometimes I hurt people. I am sorry for this last comment. I wish you all the best. Joerg

I was diagnosed with autism about 5 months ago and I’m 12 , I’m about to start school next week and I’m really scared, as I have been every year in primary, this past week I just felt like shutting down and crying every night and not going sleep till 11-12pm )

@speakingforcrows5227

4 жыл бұрын

I really feel for you. When I was your age I was terrified of school and had major anxiety, which only expressed itself as me being very quiet and secluded. I am 28 now and I only got diagnosed last year. The upside is that you know at an earlier age that you have autism, so you can learn to deal with your anxiety in a healthy way. Is your family supportive of you and your diagnosis? Is there anyone you can talk to at school about your issues? Please don't feel alone, I've been where you are, and it's okay to be scared. For me, drawing and writing was always a great help in school. I'd sketch during classes or write notes. It kept me busy, calmed me down and helped me concentrate. Perhaps you have something that could help you?

@5a0ie

4 жыл бұрын

Getting to bed on time will really help you to cope, try creating a nice bed time routine that you look forward to. I use a red lamp (helps your melatonin production) from about 8pm that makes me feel calm, safe and sleepy. Don't forget that many others will be nervous too, try to make some small connections with people by finding something to laugh about or something in common. Secondary school is bigger, which might be scary but it does mean that there will probably be more people who you might get on with. There are lots of ways schools can help you to cope, ask for help if you need it. Keep focusing on what you do enjoy each day.

Imagine seeing Chris Ulmer of SBSK

is having a hard time understanding straightforward questions and statements a part of autism too? i found your channel and i realized that i might have symptoms of autism in girls but i was wondering if having a hard time comprehending the meaning of questions and statements was a part of autism? because i have a hard time understanding those, even if the question/statement is super straightforward

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

I’m not sure on that one, I struggle with processing what people say and so my response times are sometimes longer but it doesn’t affect my actual understanding of it, I just need more time to think about it. Does that make sense?

@monique7577

4 жыл бұрын

@@charldavies yeah that does make sense! i just was wondering if having a hard time understanding things might be a symptom of autism or maybe some sort of learning disability i may have. thank you for the answer!

What's ur Myer Briggs type? And ennegram

I hate it when my husband says everyone is a little autistic, and refuses to listen to me when I try telling him that is a very invalidating thing to say

I work at Walmart and it is complete hell for me, but there's really nothing else for work in the itty bitty town I live in. If you have any advice for me I would appreciate it. I am in the process of getting tested.

Please please please do either write here or do a video about differences between BPD and autism. Ive got very personal reasons for asking, I was diagnosed with bpd about 8 yrs ago, but none of the 3 previous mental health teams diagnosed me with bpd, the psychiatrist didn't tell me, I only found out a few years later when my Gp brought up letter from psychiatrist on the screen, I naively accepted it, but what I have read n seen about the 2 conditions in recent years I strongly do not believe I have bpd, ive not just seen a few videos on you tube, I've researched this on medical based websites.the mental health team have been abusing me because they given me this label, they twist n turn everything I say, say I am lying when I'm not, and then they repeatedly lie to me! I don't fulfil enough of the diagnostic criteria as stated in the DSM manual for bpd, I have something else, but I'm not sure what, autism, dyspraxia, ADD or something else? I am dyslexic, but I only got tested for that after leaving school. GP made a referral for a diagnostic test for autism, which mental health team ignored, but then a social worker made a referral, I filled out forms, n I'm on waiting list for a diagnostic test. There are reasons why I think I might be autistic dating back to primary school, on the yearly reports teachers writing things like I do not enjoy PE, My co ordination is far below that of My piers, I cannot concentrate for any length of time, I am a loner, I have difficulty making friends, I prefer the company of one friend rather than a group, this is when I was age 8 to 12.wriiten in school refers from primary school. I am in my forties now.

@lotuswolf1518

4 жыл бұрын

Dyspraxia is a part of autism

@rosepetal34

4 жыл бұрын

@@lotuswolf1518 really? kind of makes sense as i was so dispraxic as a kid / had to work so hard to do everything

Why do you look so stylish???? when did that start???

like the video i have autism enjoy the videos

I think I might be on the spectrum (haven't been diagnosed yet) and I told my friends so they could understand me better but it went bad. They basically bullied me to the point where I don't ask for help and suffer when I'm struggling because I don't think I deserve help. It makes me feel like I'm lying and a burden for telling people that I'm struggling. I'm not friends with them anymore and I'm happy to get them out of my life but my mum has to tell me when I'm suffering and help me because I can't identify it anymore. Do you have any advice for this? (Also thank you for being here as its hard to identity with people especially girls like me :) )

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

Hi Eloise. Before I was diagnosed I had a friend that was doubtful of my potential diagnosis of autism. It felt invalidating and unsupportive. But I think that if more awareness was raised for autism in girls then people may respond differently. I’m sorry to hear that they haven’t been supportive but don’t feel disheartened because people who cannot accept you aren’t worthy of your time anyway. Don’t let it eat you up inside because people can be horrid but it’s a projection of their hatred and isn’t a reflection of you. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life so don’t be afraid to cut people off that make your feel bad in yourself because like is far too short to waste precious time. I know the feeling of the whole burden thing all too well. I felt like I was unworthy of help, felt like I didn’t deserve it. But that is never the case! Of course you deserve help! Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. It sounds as though you may be suffering with low self esteem but don’t worry, keep pursuing your diagnosis and try to help yourself as much as you can. Also, don’t be afraid to tell people ‘no’ or take yourself out of situations that make you feel overwhelmed. Give yourself a break, life is already so very stressful, concentrate on yourself and do things that make you feel good. Treat yourself, build yourself up because you are worth it and you deserve to be happy and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise. You’re not lying, It’s just that when people that are supposed to support you don’t and make you doubt yourself and invalidate you it makes you question yourself, but don’t because you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. Good luck with your diagnosis and let me know how it goes. 💖💖

@emelliott

4 жыл бұрын

Charl Davies Thankyou for those words, you've really cheered me up :) I've started to keep a diary to help with my mental health and I've been focusing on myself more. My best friend has been trying to be more understanding (after I shut down at my cities pride) which I am very grateful for. I used to play roller derby to help me feel confident but I haven't been doing that for a couple of years and I've tried to keep roller skating but it's not the same. But I am taking up skate boarding which I love as well and there are so many great people to skate with. I'm going to college in a few weeks so I'm happy to start a fresh with new teachers and new friends that will hopefully be more accepting, understanding and kind :)

I’m a guy with inattentive ADHD really focused and interested in learning all about autism in women I say women and not girls because I’m turning 23 anyways I also have something called social communication disorder which is same as autism the only thing is it’s missing the restricted repetitive behaviors I thought I was autistic I got evaluated for it at 21 and she told me autism was ruled out due to not having those 2 symptoms/signs so I know I’m all over the place (ADHD) but reason I’m so hyperfocused on knowing all I can about a autistic Girl/woman is because I rather date a nuerodiverse woman rather than NT which would be really hard to understand me I’d date a woman either with ADHD or autism it would just be so much easier to understand each other rather than a NT I have a lot in common with autism and I love all people with autism my best friend of already 14 years we’ve been friends as autistic but I’ve never met and autistic girl I’d like to I’m sure I’d be really fun Nurotypicals just don’t understand why am so attracted to a woman with ADHD or autism to me just much better that may just be me who knows at the moment as you can see Im into the idea of dating a girl with autism But ADHD would be good to since I have ADHD but at the end of the day Gods the only one who knows who my wife will be .

Hello - I am new to your channel. I understand you so well. Socializing is sometimes too hard and I want to be alone, but still feeling lonely. I feel I have to defend myself on a daily basis to friends, before when I worked, to my family. My advantage is that I have fought to be my own person in everything from childhood and maybe I never masked in my personal life, but had to as a teacher even when it went against my life values; I have always been labled as very weird because of that. And I was bullied a lot. Never was popular and still am not, but I love this person I have become from fighting. Jesus has saved me throughout my life - He has helped me find my identity. Thank you for your and Dan's channel - I have to stay in touch and still learn about my diagnosis; it's still new to me (got my diagnosis in 2017). God bless!

I’m a self diagnosed adult and have talked about my autism to my closest friends and family. Would there be any benefits to getting a professional diagnosis?

@paulam6447

4 жыл бұрын

Hi, I suspect that I am aspie but I didn't talk with no one. How did they react? What have you say? What are your traits for a self diagnosis?

Hi Charl I don’t know if you’ll see My message but I’m a little lost. My son is 8 and we thought he had ADHD turns out it’s heading toward him having autism. So I’ve been reading a lot about autism and a light switch in my head just went off that a lot of my own traits some which I thought were just quirks and a social anxiety and that maybe not everyone enjoys making eye contact these seem to be are more than that and I think I’m autistic. I don’t know where I go from here I have 4 children who I feel like I’m failing now because they have a parent on the spectrum. I feel embarrassed to go to my other half about it especially because we are in the process of diagnosing our son and maybe he will think I’m being over paranoid because I’ve been reading about it a lot in regards to our son. How do I get diagnosed? I’m just so lost and I can’t talk to anyone about it :(

@speakingforcrows5227

4 жыл бұрын

So I was only diagnosed with high functioning autism last year when I was 28. My dad, who people described as being stern, reclusive, and arrogant, is probably where my autism came from. He was never diagnosed, and his whole life he was described as a difficult character. He is a succesful businessman, and very smart. My heart breaks for him though. Nobody wants to be described like that. Just because he has difficulty expressing his emotions and making eye-contact doesn't mean he is a bad human being. As a child I can tell you that the best thing for your children is if you can be the best version of you. If you're struggling because of autism it's only better to learn what autism means for you and how you can best live with it. It'll help your kids to know you embrace your diagnosis. I wish my father would seek help and a diagnosis, because kids can feel everything and want the best for their parents. Also, if you accept and embrace it, living your life, they'll see you do that and do the same.

@alejandrosmama89

4 жыл бұрын

Charl Davies oh gosh I only just realised you replied to me thank you so much 💖 I’m going to go to the GP just nervous about them not taking me seriously. We have paid over £3000 to get my son diagnosed because the NHS wouldn’t take us seriously just hope they don’t do the same to me

@alejandrosmama89

4 жыл бұрын

Speakingfor Crows thank you 💖 how was your diagnosis journey was it straight forward through the nhs?

I like to say that I'm socially selective ;) I was diagnosed at 31, a few months ago x

@charldavies

4 жыл бұрын

I totally get that!! 💖

I just want to say that to all my fellow autistic friends that are dealing with identity, I'm a walking testimony that God has played a major role in my struggle of living with autism. Once you know you are child of God bought and paid with the blood of Jesus, your identity troubles goe away, there is only one person I care about what he thinks and that's Christ Jesus, is not about religion, but about getting to know your creator , in a way He made us this way for a reason, because autistic people are able to see the world in a total different way, is like having superpowers in many ways, and I agree that the more we educate ourselves in the matter the easier it will get. Much love guys, My heart really goes out to you. the struggle is real and the storms may seem overwhelming but my God is bigger than anything else!!

This girl seems so normal compared to me

@idanordby5518

4 жыл бұрын

Wren “nOrmAl”

I've been diagnosed with ADHD... And my symptoms are scarily similar to yours. The meds don't work for me, so I am wondering whether I'd been misdiagnosed 🫠 ...or I have both