I’ve been thinking about asexuality a lot today and I just got the notification! I clicked so fast

Knowing the fact that people are profiling and not paying attention to themselves being brainwashed...If people wanna profile someone's sexuality instead of figuring out yourself on that realm...

Fortunately I've only had three periods of asexuality in my life (0-22 years old, 22 to 40 and 42 until now) The flesh is willing but the libido is weak.

@martineldritch

Жыл бұрын

@V. Bendor Hi. Oh, no, I have all the plumbing and hormones so there are fantasies, I'm not a eunuch.

sometimes i wonder which is the real gem the information or the jokes :D

Excellent video as ever Professor. Somewhat ironically interrupted by KZread to advertise Bumble, but there we are. Made me chuckle at least.

Omg! Attraction and desire are completely unrelated! My libido is off the charts, and it’s not about desiring someone.

The only thing he was in DISTRESS about , was no phone, no supply ...

Being asexual is ok, i am one but in the real life is very hard to find someone who thinks and feels the same. Most people are sexual, want build intimacy by sex (not only but with it). I am feeling like an alien sometimes but I dont want change my orientation. Its a gift and blessing for me but with some difficulties (life is bruta )

@bloodyedith

Жыл бұрын

@@SM-gx3hohmmm hugs? Maybe not or very rarely ... it s not so simple that intimacy=physical presence of another person... its more about thoughts, views, personality. I like my own, but I can say I desire someones too.

@samvaknin

Жыл бұрын

Not all asexuals are aromantic.

@kelseabauer183

3 ай бұрын

Sounds narcissistic if you think it’s a “gift” wtf

@demondestrukcji666

Ай бұрын

At the beginning of our relationship with a guy with a high libido, he couldn't imagine how to solve that problem. It made me very upset that I can't translate and give the love he deserves. As bad as it may sound, he desperately even thought about sex workers but it turned out 'the romantic starterpack' is pretty satisfying for him and feels happy. So he doesn't feel the frustration Boundaries and communication are very important Also, I've used to have one gay friend who despite his orientation was in love and relationship with a girl. So he probably felt just like me with sex I guess. Anyway, I hope my comment will help or cheer you up somehow Looking for an ace wanting to date is a challange, so that's why I'm here to tell you what really matters :D

@demondestrukcji666

Ай бұрын

​@@kelseabauer183 I'd say it's more about faith or spiritual thing I remember one nun saying 'your misery is a way to teach you sth' (or rather keep away from hell). She gave an example like 'if you're gay then you may focus on and appreciate your temperance' Sth less ridiculous - if you have no leg, you learn not to give up, etc So it's more about embracning who you are even if that's uneasy

Professor Vaknin, I could not locate your mail id. In one of the videos in the past you mentioned briefly that a complete change of look and behavior would in some way “fix” the relationship with the narcissist (not your exact words). Could you talk about it more some day. Would the narcissist create a fresh “screenshot” thus restarting the entire cycle from the scratch, as if the victim was a new person?

Yes. I certainly agree with the last point... I see a lot of hypersensitive asexuals who are ready to explode at the slightest perceived slight, & I find it baffling--because, in reality, there are very few out there seeking to persecute them.

@baddidea4820

Жыл бұрын

I am asexual my brain is wired that way . I don’t have sex don’t think about it I don’t masturbate it’s never a thought or concern. Sexuality is a spectrum Asexuality is not. It is the opposite of sex. It’s comfortably stands alone it has other things on its mind. It doesn’t care about sex gender or identity because all of that is irrelevant

@demondestrukcji666

Ай бұрын

@@baddidea4820 Sometimes I simply feel triggered when some people insist like everybody must have sex to be fulfilled or suggesting it's something unnatural. In moments like these I'd say to that people 'Scr*w you, I feel great without a stick in my ass'. What is so phenomenal? Did such people in their early years, besides food or sleep, want to have sex?

“Onward with a THRUST” lolololololhahahahaha

Wow wow wow. I am sure I was dating a narcissist....in fact, a textbook narcissist. He went though a completely asexual period during his year long depression. How are you this good, prof Vaknin?

@archivez101

Жыл бұрын

Depression kills libido...

Got all the answers been looking for about my partner

what about "paraphilic" asexuals. sometimes it gets so confusing for me

I believe that.

I’m ace and sex positive. My asexuality is due to my genetics and health. That could mean, to some people, that I am greysexual. I also strongly suspect that I have some narcissistic, histrionic and borderline traits caused by childhood trauma and other life circumstances, and I notice an increase in my libido when those pd traits are triggered. It feels unnatural to me when that happens, because I typically do not feel turned on or sexually charged. I’ve become more aware of these patterns lately.. for instance, I experience the increase in libido differently if the bpd traits are triggered than when the npd traits are triggered..so, for me, the different distorted lenses seem to create different flavours of perception that translate as different experiences of feeling turned on.. and it’s not actually about wanting to have sex, it’s about feeling turned on in a bpd way (seeking emotional connection and security), being turned on in an npd way (seeking power and appreciation) or in a histrionic way (seeking to be seen). Does this make sense? I think there’s a lot of overlap between psychological disorders and conditions and asexuality and it’s fascinating to learn about. Thanks for doing this video.

I have a question Prof. Sam Before discarding me he used to tell me always I am a God. He even prostrate to me in front of everyone.. I didn't understand what happened exactly

8:21 lol I see these so-called "bossgirls" who show a sexy pic of themselves & caption it with something like, "Nobody deserves this." And I'm like, "Okay. You do you, miss priss."

Is it possible that a bpd woman who is turning 47 that lost her bpd traits (healed based on the idea of miracles happening after 45 you mentioned in your lecture) and morphed to a covert narcissist like her late mother? I mean in theory can this happen? I hope that is not my case yet I can feel it 💔 I would love to hear an answer from you or to be mentioned in one of the upcoming videos

@samvaknin

Жыл бұрын

Or in one of my past videos. Hint. (sigh)

Yeah I must have hyperactive sexual desire disorder. None of the therapist really suggested that to me, just asexuality. I’m not angry or sad about it anymore, have come to terms with it. I’m chronically ill too, which might add to the issue, but way before I was ill had no desire. Could also stem from growing up in a cult (Jehovah’s witness). It used to really get to me, but I’ve done all I can (lots of therapy) and nothing changed. It is what it is. I personally hate that asexuality has become over-the-top with all the different versions. Seems a bit narcissistic to me. I’ve met with asexual groups before, that was interesting experience. There was a bit of a repetitious pattern of the type of people that went to these groups. The theme was “outsiders” to the conventional society norms. I went on the asexuality forum way back when, gosh a lot of ridiculous hardcore rules and regulations about naming conventions. Way too political and just too self absorbed. They seem to revolve their whole life around being asexual and the exact type of asexual they were and telling people off for suggesting anything other than what they thought was correct. That was their whole identity. The meetup with asexuals was the same experience.

People used to call it frigidity.

I was with gay narcisst and his sexuality always seems so strange to me. We were in relationship for 1 year and still I dont know what is he attractive by?

I am a repulsed Asexual because just the sight of a man's "credentials" grosses me out. 🤮

@biancadukes5311

Жыл бұрын

I thought I was the only one😢

my narc is asexual he uses it as a game

Never had any problems re sex, all is well with me.. I’m lucky

Menopause sucks. Now i have another mental health disorder? 🤣🤣🤣. Got anything else? I, historically date (and married) narcissistic men. I think I’m borderline. I’m anxious as all hell, some ocd, and a sober alcoholic adult child. Why not throw in something else ?

@th8257

Жыл бұрын

The ICD, which is the global standard for assessing personality disorders (used pretty much everywhere outside north America) has moved away from the "Silo" system that the American DSM has. Instead, the ICD has moved to a dimensional, spectrum type system in which personality disorder traits are recorded, rather than just putting you in a box and saying "oh, she had BPD". They've decided it's not helpful to do that - particularly as many people in the DSM system tend to be diagnosed with more than one personality disorder. The new ICD would just say which traits you have rather than saying you had x, y and z personality disorder. The traits are then addressed in treatment. This approach has been influenced by the thinking of the likes of Otto Kernberg, who felt that many personality disorders were actually just different sides of the same coin. For example, he felt that narcissism was a defence mechanism against an underlying borderline personality, rather than two separate personality disorders.

By the very nature of being A sexual by choice (and nothing wrong with that) be aware that in the absence of regular sex both male and female will have more agression that builds up by not having the sexual activity. This is especially true in the male.

Well I'm Heterosexual and I've NEVER BEEN Asexual at all, just been Heterosexual.......

@demondestrukcji666

Ай бұрын

So, you want to say you're a narcissit?