it would actually have been good if in the episode the husband was like "Thanks for removing the tumour, still asexual. Did you think attraction was the same as libido?" (and the wife didn't have to be lying)

@cookiecat7759

6 ай бұрын

LMAOOO rhat wouldv even perfect

A standing ovation for that section about loathing when people say sex is a need

I would have *loved* it if the episode played out like you suggested. House gets an asexual patient with an unrelated actual medical problem, and gets sidetracked by the asexuality to the point where he gives the wrong treatment, making everything worse. He can even still have his "aha" moment after getting told that asexuality is a real thing and not a medical issue, and House remembers this other symptom the patinet had that could also indicate the medical problem presented. House still saves the day without throwing asexuality under the bus.

That part about your psychiatrist not putting OCD on your sheet because other medical professionals would latch onto it and discount your other disabilities really felt relatable in a way. I started seeing a psychiatrist for the first time ever in 2023 with the intention of getting help for anxiety, adhd etc that I'm 99% sure I have but can't get help for without a formal diagnosis, and after a time that was about 4 sessions in I came out to my family, friends and him about being trans. And then that was the only topic he wanted to talk about, it was the only thing he considered to be important, completely discounting that even though I've been so much happier since coming out I am very much still effected by the intense anxiety and adhd and all that stuff that I came to him for.

My mom watched House off and on so I did too occasionally. I was in school still and hadn’t yet learned I was Asexual yet. I remember seeing this episode and feeling a lot of frustration over House’s dismissal and insistence that everyone wants sex. I hadn’t even realized I was asexual yet and I knew that his claim was BS. I watched the episode hoping he would lose the bet and learn that yes, some people just don’t like sex. So when he was proven right at the end of the episode, I lost all love I had for the show. I stopped watching that show shortly after.

I absolutely get how it happened- I had a science teacher back in high school (before this episode aired) who tried to encourage us to be more accepting of gay, lesbian, and bi people but would say in the same breath that he didn't understand how Ace people could exist. I think to a pretty high degree there were a lot of places where asexuality was the joke to make, especially as people saw that making mean spirited jokes about gay and lesbian people was becoming less acceptable.

why couldnt it be the other way around?? where a patients comes in concerned about their lack of libido and disinterest in sex. and eventually house figures out that the paitents are just asexual! hed still be right while not invalidating asexuality! any maybe they can sneak in some assholery in there too cause house has to be like that ig

@RosheenQuynh

6 ай бұрын

Oooh, nice!

Yeah, House is intentionally inspired by Sherlock. Remember seeing an interview that pointed out Holmes-> "Homes" -> House

@GarnetHeartIllustrations

4 ай бұрын

And his apartment/house is 221B

the sex =/= need thing really tripped me up when I met my current partner, I thought for sure if I was going to be with an allo that they would have to have a third or bedfellow or commission regular sex work or something if they were to date/marry me. But turns out sex is kind of just an activity that some people do and others do not, and whether people want or like it is extremely variable from person to person regardless of orientation.

@RahkshiMaster

4 ай бұрын

I feel like fiction, particularly sitcoms and tv dramas, is obsessed with sex. Men are portrayed as sex crazed, insatiable. When a male character isn't trying to have sex with a new woman every episode on a sitcom or drama, other characters make fun of him, call him gay (also problematic), shame him. Even as someone who is Allo, I find it incredibly annoying and troubling how tv acts like I should be having constant sex, thinking about sex all the time, etc. The amount of times I've groaned watching a tv show make a joke about a guy not having had sex for a few months and how HORRIBLE that is for the guy, I'm so sick of it sometimes people just don't care about sex that much! Because of this prevalence in pop culture, it sets an unrealistic expectation for how much sex somebody should be having, and I've felt like I'm not living up to that standard before and it's unhealthy for everyone, Ace or not.

I hated this episode. It took so long to figure out if I'm actually ace or just have a very low libido. Because there's days where I crave sex but only the IDEA of it rather than the actual act. For example, I get more enjoyment imagining a ship than myself. And when it came to my first partner, our relationship broke because I wasn't ready for it and he was. But heck then I wasn't sure why I felt that way. I found out that I'm grey ace. But yeah the "a girl has needs" thing grossed me out. Especially since that is legit a way to peer pressure men... Yeah.

@vivianthegeek

4 ай бұрын

It’s so cool of you to share your story. If you’re comfortable with it would you be willing to explain your sexuality a bit more and define grey ace? I feel like I might be the same way

@angelsartandgaming

4 ай бұрын

@@vivianthegeek Grey Ace, from my own understanding and journey, is experiencing very occasional sexual attraction towards others. With me, sometimes it can be as random as Pokemon cards. I may gain crushes but I don't feel sexual or sexually attracted towards them. It's really complicated to explain because my own asexuality is complicated.

@vivianthegeek

4 ай бұрын

@@angelsartandgaming thank you so much!

The part about your psychiatrist not putting OCD on your chart hit hard because the exact same thing happened to me. I’ve had 2 separate therapists tell me that I 100% have BPD, but both of them refused to formally diagnose me. Partly because I was under 18 at the time, but they also said that even if I was 18 they probably wouldn’t put it on my chart unless they absolutely had to, because if I had it on my chart medical doctors would link every problem I might have to the BPD. Even certain therapists would flat out refuse to treat me with an official BPD diagnosis. Even without the BPD I’ve still had several doctors dismiss my problems as anxiety when I tell them what meds I take so yeah, having mental health problems is fun!!

In public medical systems they also do pregnancy tests even id you say you’re not sexually active

The dynamic here is impeccable it feels like I’m going on a special interest fueled rant to my partner who is happily listening and paying attention and adding to the conversation

Yeah I think I'll stick with Doomguy and Luffy the idiot pirate for my ace representation...

Peeked at it while my mom was watching it and I was _livid,_ to say the least.

Damn, regarding the thing about hospitals not taking a woman (or afab's) word in terms of checking if they are pregnant hits home too hard even here in the Phili[ppines. I remember I had to go to the hospital and I was almost fighting for my life telling them I might have dengue but they refuse to take me seriously and say its just a fever (in which spoiler alert, eventually they found out I did had dengue), there was a time where they asked if I was sexually active/pregnant and I said no but they insisted for me to take a pregnancy test and I remember it being so awkward cause I was with my mom like jesus, this wasted alot of time.

@TamanduaGirl

6 ай бұрын

It would help if they made a point to better explain that it's policy to check for pregnancy. There have been plenty of cases where people were pregnant and didn't know it, even up to the point of giving birth. And they thought it was impossible due to things like medical conditions ect. If they just took these people at their word then treatments given could harm or kill the baby or pregnant person. They should make it a point to say it's policy and not a judgement on you personally.

the last bit about the danger of bringin up asexuality in therapy and such. I've read other people talking about having done that and facing aphobia and it makes my blood boil. especially since there are still many aces and aros who feel broken and are drenched in doubt. many young ones too who'd easily break under pressure and as someone who lived not closeted, but with partial internalized aphobia and only a few years after the a-spec realization being able to actually admit to myself that I'm a SA survivor ... well ofc it's incredibly important to me that less people suffer my fate. makes me really glad that I had the fortune to find a therapist who while knowing all of this and never really heard about asexuality before did not try to talk me out of it. he was actually the one who said that I have no reason to feel bad about being sex repulsed and even said I could make educational youtube videos about a-spec topics since I'm slightly hyperfixated on that(if, then it'd make sense to do that in my native language, since german a-spec knowledge is worse than amongst the english speakers, but same goes for autism and ADHD) I'll probably never do that. I'd better do as an in person educator, cuz I internally die from too much online attention. 400 likes on a drawing were enough to make me run from instagram. but seriously I wish for more therapists like mine and sure it might have something to do with him being a certified ADHD specialist who had years and years of experience with the weird and unpredictable neurodivergent folks, cuz he does approach neurodivergence very much with a "that's just who you are and not a flaw you need to fix" attitude and holy shit where was this man when I was 8 years old, freshly diagnosed with ADHD and about to be put into what I'd describe as "correctional group therapy" I'm aware that I posted a lot of comments on a lot of podcast episodes by now, but don't mind me binging your content while playing minecraft on my vacation week .. or paid days off? dunno the weeks you take for vacation, but my vacation is at home, cuz I don't like the stress of travel

GOLDEN GIRLS MENTIONED LETS GOOOOOOO I LOVE THE GOLDEN GIRLS

The kitchen counter bit was so funny 😂

Yeesh. Are the Allos okay?

@RosheenQuynh

6 ай бұрын

Nope...

@RahkshiMaster

4 ай бұрын

I'm fine, House is the issue here. Show's highly problematic with transgender and intersex issues too.

As someone with a complicated medical history, I have learned to never ever bring up one of my psychiatric diagnoses because as soon as I do, they stop listening to anything I say. It's absolutely maddening how quickly medical professionals decide that if you have certain mental illnesses that you are incapable of accurately assessing your physical well-being. I can't even imagine telling a medical professional that I'm on the ace spectrum. I'm American by the way, so anyone in a country with an actually decent medical system should keep that in mind when replying.

This episode of House is the reason why i refuse to watch the show

@RahkshiMaster

4 ай бұрын

Hard to go back to this show with it's poor other representation such as House calling an intersex woman "a man" and misgendering her for the rest of the episode, too.

I remember watching this episode when it aired. And I knew I was ace at the time. And this episode felt so horrible, it was near the end of the run and I used to like Wilson. This was the episode to me that screamed: Wilson never cared. Wilson never represented anyone. Wilson was just as selfish and corrupt as house, he's just nicer about it. (It had been a while since I watched house so I'm not sure if that was always his character and I just didn't notice until I came back to the show, or if he had gotten worse over time. I also refuse to ever watch it again to find out.) But I couldn't forgive this "moral character". I don't mind a good corruption arc, but this time it was at my expense, and I'm sure if I were to go back I would find it's at other minority groups' expenses as well. I already have problems getting anyone I disclose my asexuality to treat it like a real thing in institutionalized ways. I've had psych places that in the matching you to a psychologist initial phase they don't understand why I would even bring up that im ace because of course people aren't gonna have a problem with it, it's not relevant to my problems. And I'm like of course it's relevant to my problems. It's my identity, it forms many lenses for me in my life. I need to know that whoever sees me for therapy will not need to be educated about what asexuality is and just believe me that it does effect my life and how I view things and not try and treat it. I had a volunteer organization where I work with kids ask me after 3 years of being a volunteer if: i was still asexual? And I'm like well yes I will always be asexual. They needed to know if I have a new relationship and live with anyone who will possibly interact with the kids. And that's fair but "are you still asexual". Nobody else gets asked that (except maybe bi people). I have spent physicals arguing with nurses about when my next pap should be... and they wouldn't believe me that I should have a pap ever 5 years because despite my young age I am not at high risk for any sti/std because I'm ace and don't have any partners and haven't had any sexual partners for many many years. This year for the first time ever the doctor followed up sexual partners discussion with so who are you attracted to and she listed : same sex, opposite sex, both, and when she said neither I went holy shit. You didn't make me explain ace to you???? Neither is an option with a box this time???? And I've definitely told this doctor I'm ace before. But now it might have a box! Aces getting boxes.

i liked the version you suggested at the end, very nice script "doctoring" ;)

I vaguely remember seeing this episode as a kid and then prompty forgot about it until I learned properly what asexuality was at age 25. Honestly forgetting this episode existed was literally the best thing I could have done.

Annoys me quite a bit that this episode, Better Half, on wikipedia, seems to be *the only episode of that season* that doesn't get its own page expanding upon its contents, including its reception.

House was also one of those shows that rode fully on the "if you're cruel and shitty to people, it means you are very intelligent" trope that now is slowly being reconsidered by wider society as wrong and bad, actually. Rick and Morty is the other show people point to that does this trope straight on. If you actually read Sherlock, you will find that he is not in fact an abrasive cruel jerk, that's largely fan fiction.

Hey, I'm new to learning about asexuality. Do you have an episode that covers the basics or is there an information source that you trust represents you accurately?

@aufzumatem5481

6 ай бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/f4mJptx9gq-4dKw.htmlsi=3GLzcyHokcsOaCOo 😊

@TinyGhosty

5 ай бұрын

Their newest episode is a more general knowledge episode that might have the information you are seeking.

When I was in highschool, my allosexual boyfriend loved this show. One day while I was doing homework at his house he put on the show and this episode came on. He knew I was asexual and didnt get why i didnt like the show anymore after that.

Wait so everyone us american person with an uterus has to get a pregnancy test before an xray?

@margotpreston

5 ай бұрын

Yup. It's largely a liability thing, mostly done as a precaution to keep from getting sued if the patient is pregnant, or lying about being pregnant, and the given treatment causes a miscarriage or other issue.

@kati4858

5 ай бұрын

@@margotpreston ah thank you, that sounds very tiring. I only have to sign a waiver that I am not pregnant or have told the doctor that I'm not pregnant.

@DUWANGlai_kangyi

5 ай бұрын

I'm also curious about how getting an x-ray can cause a miscarriage?? Damn wtf

@doggyspeak

5 ай бұрын

I mean, it IS radiation going all the way through your body, it has potential to cause harm to a fetus. But I feel as though a waiver stating as much would be a better and less invasive way to prevent lawsuits than a pregnancy test.

I live for confusing the cis straight allos

I always thought sex for allos landed somewhere in the "social needs" category. Aces lack that social need, but still have other social needs like hanging out with friends and stuff. So what drives one person to feel they're lacking a certain type of social interaction may not to another. Still, emphasis on sexual needs IS real sketchy, sounds like an excuse for coercion and breaking consent by trying to put it too high on a pedestal. Also, they brought up the drive the reproduce being necessary also implies that masturbation is wrong because it's not sex, and House implies it's normal to do that in this same episode. Double standards of the writer is clear, but bigotry never makes sense when you think about it for more then a minute.

@conor9966

4 ай бұрын

I'm not sure what you mean by "social need"? Like you could say just human communication is a social need but like if almost any person is put in solitary confinement they experience a chronic mental stress that causes lasting or permanent damage to the brain. It runs along the same lines as the idea that mental health *is* physical health. As another aside: even people asserting that sex is a human right are very clear that you don't have any right to sex *with anyone* specifically. It does not change anything around consent and anyone even slightly leaning that way is engaging in bad faith arguement