"It makes us depressed, anxious, and *easy to manipulate* ." Saying it louder for the people in the back! Even if you're outraged about all the right stuff, emotional energy is easily redirected into the wrong solutions (whether by a malicious actor, or simply being uninformed). I'm really loving Vlogbrothers's hard turn into secretly being a media literacy channel.

@vlogbrothers

2 жыл бұрын

It's among the things we gently swerve into occasionally :-)

@LLCCB

2 жыл бұрын

++

@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721

2 жыл бұрын

The tendency to look for a solution even when we don't have one is what leads to bad solutions.

@MarkThePage

2 жыл бұрын

@@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721 Solutions don't exist until someone thinks of them! Maybe you meant perfect solutions, solving a problem completely and without any negative effects elsewhere.

@davidnotonstinnett

2 жыл бұрын

@@vlogbrothers John why you working the comments of this Hank video?

‘Panics are not that unusual’ Me, an anxiety ridden person: they sure aren’t

I feel like there has slowly been more pressure to care about all issues, all the time. I think the rise of knowledge of intersectionality has to do with it, as well as a rise in access to information. But I find personally it’s not realistic for me to be informed about all current events all the time, or even some of the time. So I have started choosing the issues that I care about most to dive deep into and really research, and I’m working on finding a variety of quality sources to help me form surface-level opinions on the rest.

@DragoniteSpam

2 жыл бұрын

In the past I've had people get mad at me for not being aware of an event in the news the instant it broke, as if reading the news was somehow my full-time job (it is not, nor should it be, nor should it be yours). Fortunately I think the Internet is slowly starting to back off of that, at least the parts of it that I inhabit. Maybe the pandemic has finally started to make some people sick of doomscrolling for 12 hours a day. Somewhat related, the "fallacy of relative privation" is a thing, which is basically the name for people on Twitter saying "why are you wasting time being worried/mad about X, Y is a much bigger issue."

@hurremhascki

2 жыл бұрын

True

@supernova622

2 жыл бұрын

I have felt really paralyzed with trying to decide what important issues matter the most to me to focus on, so a better option might be asking what problem are you best equipped to help address

@corywarshaw4100

2 жыл бұрын

Can I interest you in everything all of the time?

@CorwynGC

2 жыл бұрын

Do what you can about what you can. Don't make any of the other problems significantly worse. That is a great path.

This video reminded of this quote: "If there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. All I want to do is help. I want to help because I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world."

@mschrisfrank2420

2 жыл бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤❤

@barelygettinbyy

2 жыл бұрын

@@Are_WeThereYet I'm so glad this offered you some comfort, I wish you all the best ✨

@SonofSethoitae

2 жыл бұрын

Is this from Angel?

@pandasomebody7158

2 жыл бұрын

oh this sounds so familiar, where is it from??

@marinh5404

2 жыл бұрын

Yes it's from Angel. Such a good quote!

This made me go back and rewatch your "Web of Care" video from a couple months ago. These concepts go hand in hand to model how an individual can go about caring and taking action in the world -- 1) being in the sad gap might feel like caring, but it is not inherently good or useful, 2) you can't cross the sad gap/care productively about everything, but you should aspire to cross the sad gap on a few things, and 3) you need to trust that other people are crossing the sad gaps in areas that you haven't chosen to focus on. I think the key here is not to go around telling people that the specific thing you care about is the most important and merits their attention, but instead to communicate that each person caring/crossing the sad gap on some aspect of their community's problems is essential. I think it would be cool if it were more culturally acceptable to ask "what does your web of care look like?" or "what do you do to make your corner of the universe a little bit better?" rather than "what do you do for a living?"

@vlogbrothers

2 жыл бұрын

IT FEELS LIKE CARING BUT ACTUALLY ISNT/

@dgill441

2 жыл бұрын

I like this - I have something similar when I learn someone isnt that into me or a topic I like - I just go "Oh, I'm just not high on that persons priorities list." helps keep things in perspective and channels my feelings a bit

@ThatOneIrishFurry

2 жыл бұрын

This is an extremely good comment

@DisasterAster

2 жыл бұрын

+

@MattPalka

2 жыл бұрын

+

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW THAT YOU'VE NAMED IT i have been thinking about this as long as i've been on the internet and engaging with issues thank you for articulating it so beautifully :')

@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721

2 жыл бұрын

One of my favorite things about Vlogbrothers is that they're great at putting things into words.

@missangiieee

2 жыл бұрын

LITERALLY SAME

@frocco7125

2 жыл бұрын

Name it to tame it.

I am so happy this was not another video blaming social media or the internet for this problem. Its the internet that has allowed for knowledge of the world's problems to even be accessible to the global public in a way that was never possible before. We're just not all the way there yet into making sure this tool is used in a mostly healthy way, in the same way mass producing food was always a good idea, just took a while to realize the right ways of doing it.

@MarkThePage

2 жыл бұрын

That's also made us feel that every problem needs to be solved first--like trying to cram too much down a drain, so then nothing gets through. Ideally it'd be nice to solve them all together, but realistically, they have to go down one at a time.

@AndersWatches

2 жыл бұрын

Ugh yes. My dad blames all my problems on the internet and it is infuriating. The internet has saved my life, literally, many times over.

@notarat9303

2 жыл бұрын

exactly! i think we as humans just haven't figured out the right way to engage with social media in a productive way. also we're shit at creating proper boundaries lol

@MahlenMorris

2 жыл бұрын

Here's a hint from us olds; some people allowed themselves to be overwhelmed by current events and long-term worries before the Web. Really! So, yeah, this is not a new phenomenon, though I admit that having a despair device in your pocket is new. But I will amend the idea that, "If someone is trying to scare you, hold onto your wallet" with something like (spitballing here) "If someone is trying to scare you, pay attention to what you're actually doing."

@MarkThePage

2 жыл бұрын

@@notarat9303 I agree, but also, a lot of social media these days is made to be unhealthy and unproductive, because it's made to keep us scrolling. The gatekeepers are making this as difficult as possible.

Angry now because the doctors I’ve seen have just given up before finding a diagnosis. Y’all actually answered a question of mine on dear Hank and John from when the pain was just starting. Two years later I'm still in pain and getting weaker and no one can tell me why. Super discouraged but still trying to find a good doctor. Gotta have some hope I guess

@derekduror3463

2 жыл бұрын

Check out:lucid dreaming Robert Waggoner,Power of consciousness Bruce Lipton and Garry Null.

@AthynVixen

2 жыл бұрын

I hope that you find something that helps alleviate your pain and suffering Aislin.

@aislinking5806

2 жыл бұрын

@@AthynVixen thank you 🙏 I’ve almost gotten used to the pain, though some days are much worse than others. The worst part is the weakness. My hand shakes when I lift even a coffee cup. I used to be very independent but now I need help maintaining my home. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty for needing help in this situation, but I do. Feeling like a burden on others is the worst of it all

@MusicLover7545

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry, I also live with pain. I have no solutions for you, but you deserve a good doctor who will be a teammate and ally on your journey. Remember to be kind to yourself, remember that you are enough just as you are. DFTBA.

@aislinking5806

2 жыл бұрын

@@MusicLover7545 DFTBA my friend

I really like the take that if something is due to “evil” than we cannot see it as an addressable problem as well.

@erinmac4750

2 жыл бұрын

Truth!

Sometimes I find it hard to find places of hope, but then I remember your channel. Thank you both for all you do.

@AthynVixen

2 жыл бұрын

I've only started to watch these guys recently but they really help me see that there is actually good in this world and that bring me a tiny sliver of hope. Thank you Hank and John for shining light in the dark.

@marvfj6451

2 жыл бұрын

Really great point, Andrea!

@tomrogue13

2 жыл бұрын

+

There's a gap in my sadness thanks to this video:)

@ozok17

2 жыл бұрын

the... sad-gap gap?

you and your brothers videos consistently give me hope that the world isn't just bound to be terrible and that having hope for is a good and rational thing

@LeopardMask12

2 жыл бұрын

+

@christine6159

2 жыл бұрын

yes!! sometimes i feel like i'm being naive or wrong to be hopeful and optimistic about the future and to actively try to not spend too much time focusing on how bad and shitty everything is, i really appreciate these hope- and life-positive videos. it's nice to feel like not only i can acknowledge the problems with the world without having to give into despair, but that is actually encouraged lol

@angelakulikauskas731

2 жыл бұрын

+

Hank is so good at articulating phenomenon on the internet, this is something I had been noticing and now I have a concrete way to think about it! Especially, as he notes in the description, an attitude that the righteous thing to do is stay in the sad gap and make memes to drag other people into the sad gap. Sad gap.

@MarkThePage

2 жыл бұрын

I think Hank is the best media literacy spokesperson there is.

It’s so frustrating to hear people who’ve given up when it comes to some of the topics you brought up in your list and then feel the need to encourage others to give up as well, and so I’m thankful for you both and this community that’s so positive and not willing to give up on these hard issues 🖤

@tomrogue13

2 жыл бұрын

I get NowThis news posts in my YT feed and they posted something about climate change and 90% of the comments were something akin to "it's too late there's not point in trying". It made me sad

@RainyDayWolf

2 жыл бұрын

@@tomrogue13 the climate change issue previously known as global warming has been known by the scientists since the 70's it has had me worrying about it since I was 12... I'm now 37... Which means I've talked about it and done my best for 25 years and now I'm tired of seeing people not caring, of governments doing their best to do nothing about the issue, of the rich profiting with it... I'm tired of having hope. Idk what to tell you except I've read and seen so much I can no longer believe humanity will change, we've had 50 years to do so and done so little to improve and so much to speed up the demise of this beautiful world and it's inhabitants, us included... I can literally just cry about it.

"I also think that there are some people who think that The Sad Gap is the honorable, correct place to be. As if you are a bad person if you get out of the place where you only feel hopelessness and outrage. I am, frankly, OVER THAT. I think it's making things much worse. I never thought it was the right thing to do and the moment I realized that other people did, I got very worried." Thank you Hank for articulating a concept that's been bothering me for a long time. I think despair is one of the only ways to ensure that we DON'T solve these large, complicated problems because we're all too busy doomposting on twitter. There is no more destructive phrase to progress than "What's the point?"

this is strangely one of the most apt descriptions of what its like living with anxiety/depression and ad-hd for me. I get so lost in the anxious sad feelings that I have in anticipation of finishing a task/solving a problem that I simply stop myself from trying at all. I would love to know solutions to overcoming the sad gap!!

@MrChaluliss

2 жыл бұрын

For me compartmentalization is key. Knowing what I can affect, and what I NEED to affect for my goals to stay on track is my anchor. If things lie outside of my personal control I just HAVE to ignore them. It is the only way to positively affect the things which are inside the small bubble of my personal control. Great compartmentalization will certainly improve your life, emotions and productivity, but let me tell you, that you will still have problems, and still be bothered by the worlds problems (at least I still am), but you will at least be on top of your own little bubble more often, and that is surely a good thing.

@javi7636

2 жыл бұрын

I struggled with this for years, and in my experience it's all about building a foundation for yourself, starting with one day at a time. It's about accomplishing the small things so that you can start thinking about the bigger things. Start with your own well-being: "What's something I can do right this second that will help me? Am I thirsty? Is my mind racing? Is my leg falling asleep?" Then you can commit to getting a glass of water, or taking a few deep breaths, or moving your body just a little bit. If doing that was hard, then congrats, you just overcame an obstacle and accomplished something today! And if you have energy to keep going, you get to look forward to the next thing you can do! Just remember to start small. Taking a single step makes it easier to take the next step. Final piece of advice: recognize that you have good days and bad days. Be compassionate with yourself on your bad days, and take advantage of any momentum you can build up on good days. From one stranger to another, I hope this helps.

@erinmac4750

2 жыл бұрын

I deal with exactly the same issues (high 5). Jokes aside, regarding the big Sad Gap things, I try to do what I can from where I'm at. It could just be something small, answering a comment, signing a petition, sending a reminder or happy meme, those may seem insignificant, but the little things can add up, and can make someone's day. About the ADHD/task anxiety thing, honestly, I'm still working on that. It's quite a bugger. Sometimes I find if I have someone helping me stay on task, through reminders or just being there to catch my veers for example, can help. Although it does take an especially thoughtful family member or friend to be down for that. Another thing I do is try to keep track of things I've done, even if they're little chores or tasks.Then, I can see that I've completed something. Those are just a couple things that I try. I'm definitely not perfect at dealing with this, but I try not to give up or give in to the depression. Also, just want you to know there's others out there facing the same struggle. If I find the magic potion, I'll let you know. In the meantime, you can get back to me here if you want. Take care! ✌️😎 PS. Kittens are always a good distraction/interruption to the anxiety. They're just such goofballs! 🐈

@erinmac4750

2 жыл бұрын

@@javi7636 I'm obviously not the OP, but this are excellent suggestions. As I'm dealing with those same issues, I'm going to try to to remember these. I'm grateful that the world contains concerned strangers line yourself.💚

@erinmac4750

2 жыл бұрын

@@MrChaluliss You make some points I hadn't considered. Thank you for sharing this insight.

For many many years now I've had this exact cocktail of feelings inside of me: rage at the people with all the power, who freely keep destroying the world, and pure hopelessness because there's nothing I can do to prevent it. How is this not maddening?

This video moved me from occasional viewer to subscriber because I hope to see this topic explored deeper. I'm definitely in the sad gap though I did not have a term for it until now. I've been raging against my impotence to change the world for a month and a half now. I know the problem. I've dug deep into its causes and contributors. I just don't know what I can do besides donate a little money and complain.

@erinmac4750

2 жыл бұрын

Besides theses guys, Beau of the Fifth Column has some good perspective. His "Rule 303," "Do what you can, where you can," my wording, has helped me keep from being drowned in the Sad Gap (which term I'm going to have to share because it's so true). He also has the best t-shirt collection ever! ✌️😎

Sometimes the things that help me the most with being in the sad gap are entirely unrelated to whatever the problem(s) is/are. It's experiencing happy moments, with good people, where I can enjoy the wonder of the world. It's experiencing a moment that is imperfect and beautiful and makes me feel at home and filled with wonder and like the future is real. Because this reminds me of hope. It reminds me that hope is both real and rational, that it is not a vague crossing of fingers but the certainty of what I already know - that life goes on. It reminds me that I have a future, and that the world is not crumbling but it is turning.

@erinmac4750

2 жыл бұрын

Truth!!! 💜✌️😎

I think this is a really apt way of describing that stuck feeling alot of my friends and I have. Me and my roommate both are dealing with depression and that added layer of hopelessness has lead us to creating some pretty small but direct ways of acting. One of the tried and true ways of getting out of depression (as cliche as it sounds) is to "do something for someone else". It doesnt always make everything instantly better, but the simple act of driving a friend to the doctor's office or helping my roommate make dinner or taking the time to write a letter to my friend helps get me out of that paralyzing state of despair. I feel like lot of times when people realize the scale of the problems we're facing, they jump feet first into "Rah Rah Raising Awareness!" and other big ticket ventures but when the going gets tough and they are burnt out they dont know how to keep going and they dont know what small things to do to help get them through the rut. I feel like a ton of the Sad Gap is people not understanding the little meaningful actions they cam take, even if its just to keep yourself going long enough to contribute. We all need to pitch in on the big stuff, no question there, but the direct action of reaching out and bolstering the people you see everyday has much more of an impact both personally and on the community than i feel like a lot of people really realize. Thats just my 2 cents tho, I am looking forward to hearing everyone elses perspective.

I often find myself in the sad gap both with internal and external anxieties. One of the ways I have found out of this gap however is through talking to people. Being open and vulnerable with others about the sad gap, about what is going on, about my fear and hope and solutions and panic, that is how I have gotten through. I am not going to lie, it is not easy but I have found that through genuine connection I can get through the gap. So thank you to all of the Nerdfighters who have helped me through the gaps and thank you John and Hank for creating a space in which we can talk about our anxieties openly and for all that you both do. DFTBA

@IrisGlowingBlue

2 жыл бұрын

++

From my own experience, limiting your social media usage and spread helps reduce this "sad gap". It doesn't help the problems go away, but it helps so you don't continuously add on new problems you see.

I’m writing my capstone right now for my undergrad and a big part of it is the Buddhist perspective of dependent origination, and when you said “these things are caused my evil” it kinda clicked something I’ve been learning in my brain in a new way. Part of the very complex and confusing topic that is dependent origination teaches that good and evil are not separate entities but rather potentialities that exist in all of us. A shift in perspective can radically change whether we see something/someone as hopelessly evil or as a work-in-progress with the potential for bringing about much greater waves of joy and creative value. Seeking out the good that exists within everyone/every situation is something that takes a lot of courage, but I believe that optimism is becoming an even more necessary skill for people who wish to become leaders in society.

For most of human history the "sad gap" was only 30 miles across, b/c most people only knew about the goings on in a 15 mile radius, tops. Take the first Crimean War in the 1850s, how many people heard about that as part of their dinner table conversation in the 1850s? Hardly any. Compare that to the war in Ukraine now, and the entire world knows about it. So the sad gap has gone from 30 miles across to the entire earth. It's important to remember that for some things, the amount of things going on isn't much larger than it's always been, it's just that we know about way more of it now than we ever did before, which means more opportunity for solutions but also a wider sad gap to cross.

I am watching this while in bed with COVID-19. I was so careful for 2 and a half years and then I came to visit family members I hadn't seen since 2019 and now I am alone in a tiny room coughing up my guts and feeling a lot of despair. This video was very helpful to me.

@Laura-em2nq

2 жыл бұрын

*sending hope*

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. So breaking problems into digestible pieces and then concentrating on one or (at most) a few pieces is probably the best practical strategy.

My solutions for the sad gap are to acknowledge it and accept that I don’t have the answer or energy to fix everything but I do have the answer and energy for some. And with those I research and learn and in the grand scheme that turns out to be only a few steps forward so it’s easier to manage :)

One way to get out of the sad gap might be to recognize that you as an individual can do so much more good by dedicating all your focus to one issue, rather than trying to juggle every single one that comes to your door. I heard this advice from a fellow student in a writing class one time and I’ve been trying to remind myself of it ever since.

As a student with about a month until my GCSE’s start, I feel scarily aware of this issue as a result of both the pressure to succeed and global tomfoolery also happening.

@Laura-em2nq

2 жыл бұрын

best of luck!!

@erinmac4750

2 жыл бұрын

Hope you did well!!! As for the global tomfoolery, it's still happening.✌️😎🍀

i feel this everytime after i watch a 'last week tonight' segment

This is such a good model. I’m in a lot of sad gaps myself right now, but I’m now sure I can make it through at least some of them. Thanks Hank! (tHANKs?)

@m.w.kaplan447

2 жыл бұрын

tHANKs.

I learned about this a little bit in psychology where depressed people can’t find solutions to problems and are generally just less creative. On the flip side, happy people are able to see solutions to problems that the depressed people couldn’t see because they were more creative in their thinking; they saw more possibilities. So if you fall victim to the hopelessness that’s everywhere right now, you won’t be able to fix what’s making you unhappy.

This… this is a good video. What I will say is that listening to Katherine’s takes on Delete This and making my phone a dumb phone have Really helped my mental health and kept me (mostly) out of a lot of sad gaps. If you’re struggling, step away from the Internet and take some time to engage more deeply with your local community

It does seem like the sad gap functions as a way of withholding/keeping readers "stuck" rather than invigorating them to make a difference or to change anything about their own lives or someone else's to help. The sad gap I think keeps people in a cycle of looking for "better" news or something to escape the sad gap vs. taking an active approach to fix the problem. The sad gap comes from feeling depressed from not being able to do something to change the situation, but potentially it could motivate much more change to feel sadness in the beginning of an article and then read a section at the end that is a call to action, people might be motivated to escape the sadness and therefore be more likely to take steps to help find a solution.

This is interesting - this sad gap definitely exists, but for me there’s a different sad gap. I learn about a problem and become angry and righteous and stuff, and then I think of a simple solution and feel like we could just fix it. But as I learn more and more about the complexity of the situation and how hard it is to untangle a solution from it, I fall into a stuck gap. For example, we burn too many fossil fuels? Easy, switch to renewable, stop burning them! Then you learn about the people whose livelihoods depend on it and the different things we need them for and about energy loss through transportation and how some renewable sources of energy aren’t available everywhere and then I fall into the sad stuck gap. I realize that so many of these problems are so complicated and hard to solve and that’s when I feel like there’s nothing I can do, or We can do, that we’re powerless to untangle this know of issue without cutting something or hurting people.

@allyson--

2 жыл бұрын

I think a lack of community contributes to this issue for me. Many of the solutions must be tailored to its community's needs & capacity. But "Think globally, act locally" is difficult when there arent many places to gather & you're unfamiliar or even unfriendly with your neighbors. For reference, I'm in a fairly rural area. Topics related to walkability/public transportation & urbanization also tie into access to various community resources.

One of the more frustrating aspects of politics today is that we can't even agree on what the problems are anymore. For example, climate change just isn't a top priority for as many people as it should. This combined with structural barriers like corporate lobbying just takes me back into the sad gap. What I'm seeing is a lack of climate legislation from probably the only chance we have for the next decade, the continuing subsidies propping up oil and gas despite clean energy becoming cheaper, and the only climate proposal that actually addresses the labor rights of fossil fuel workers routinely being derided as too far left.

@drywall4310

2 жыл бұрын

There are a lot of different shitty things that go on in the world, such as corporate lobbying and climate change but they can all be explained by one grander thing. If you want to look into this, i highly suggest looking into KZread channels like Alice Cappelle, Second Thought and Zoe Bee (her video on the food pyramid is a really good one to start with) If you want to look into the topic of climate change further and see how deep it truly goes, the things that most people don't even talk about when it comes to corporate greed, i highly recommend the book "This Changes Everything" by Naomi Klein. It's a truly eye-opening experience. Happy learning :) just remember that we can always do better. There is a way out of this and we can build a better world.

I'd just like to say that your videos for the past six or so years have been very reassuring. Thank you for doing this, Hank.

I've been aware of this phenomenon for a little while, although I didn't give it a name. Personally, I stay positive by not engaging with media excessively, having faith that people are good at solving problems, and working on the things that I'm most interested in.

I've been watching vlogbrothers since 2009 when I got hurt and became permanently disabled. During recovery I had plenty of time to fill out a respectable youtube subscription list and vlogbrothers was one of the first channels I subbed to. Hank and John remind me of friends I had and they remind me of myself as well. I consider being a Nerdfighter to still be one of the most important things I ever did. I very rarely hear these guys say anything I can't respect and I've never heard them say anything that I can't tolerate. To know that they've low key created this solid little cornerstone of 2022 American life on the internet makes me proud. You guys rock.

Sad Gap -> place of anger and hopelessness. Learning more about a thing, learning that it is less "Evil" and more "a problem". I'll remember this. Thanks Hank.

Thank you for highlighting this phenomenon and giving it a name! However, as someone very much living in the Sad Gap about most of the issues you listed and more, there is one way in which what you describe is very different from my experiences. You talk about how a problem feels at its most hopeless when it is oversimplified and presented to you as caused by evil,but learning more of the complex truth helps you find a way out of hopelessness. For me, the opposite is true. If the people contributing to a problem were actually evil, then the solution would be simple (if not easy): get the evil people out of power by any means necessary. This is how people end up embracing violence and authoritarianism - they see it as the only way to defeat some imagined evil force. But when I learn more about the perspectives of the people behind a problem (such as in your example about how fossil fuel workers are not supervillains), *that's* when a problem begins to feel hopeless for me. If you value the rights and perspectives of the people contributing to a problem, then any solution requires negotiation and consensus-building with them, which is much more difficult and complex than achieving something by force. To continue with the fossil fuel example: how do you convince a well-meaning person that their life's work, which they use to provide for themselves and their family, has done untold damage to the planet and needs to stop for the sake of our species's survival? Fighting a problem like this feels like fighting against human nature. Of course, there is a way out - there must be - but for me, learning more about a problem makes the way out harder to see, not easier.

I never called it this before but I love the name. I work in animal medicine/rescue, and actively volunteering and giving compassionate care is the only way out of the sad gap when you see some of the things people do. Not only is it important to be solution focused, it's actually very empowering on a personal level to take action rather than feeling overwhelmed. You gotta just do one thing at a time and focus on the individual impact rather than the massive need. We can all only do a bit but like....we CAN do it. That's what matters, and that's how to move forward. I really appreciate you putting this idea into words in such a simple, impactful way.

This seems to be about "Big world problems that I feel powerless to help with" and not the more personal "Sad place" that many of us find ourselves in on a daily basis. I will admit, most days I only have the emotional and psychological bandwidth to deal with my own problems, never mind these Big Issues. 😩

Me getting this notification: yes Hank maybe I am why are calling me out on it

When I was fifteen my grandpa looked up from his computer where he had been reading the news, shook his head, turned to me and said (paraphrasing) "the world is getting worse. everyone's shooting each other now and there is always news about how people are being wrongly imprisoned." (As Hank and John have adamantly emphasized) I pointed out to him that things were even "worse" in his day but that his sources of information were just much narrower. For example, you can only report on someone being wrongly convicted if there is a person or group speaking out about it, and I must believe that the beauty of social media lies in providing every single person with a platform to do so. However, with narrower media coverage, despite strictly under or even falsely reporting many experiences and issues in the US, it was possible to focus mass attention on only a few issues. This gave a wider community stake in the same issue and pushed the community to devote time to addressing the issue and the tangible satisfaction of seeing an issue "resolved". I have found that with social media it is impossible to have this same focused experience because the issue that people focus on becomes not focusing on other issues, which induces this aptly named "Sad Gap". Using Hank's list he provided in the video, this means that if Hank posts about a climate change concern, he is not then using his platform to direct the valuable attention of his audience towards the atrocities occurring in Ukraine. And if we are focused on violence in Ukraine we are then not thinking about the reforms that need to be made in the criminal justice system, and isn't the freedom of wrongly incarcerated people urgent too? Social media is so closely ties to our identities and public persona that it may feel like if one is not talking about the issue affecting a certain community then one do not care about the members of that community, or one implies that a certain community's experience is less newsworthy than the experience of another community, that their issue is less pressing and thus their lives less valuable. So right now a question I am thinking about is how we can use the connection and platforms and incredible information that modern media provides us with to actually develop deep-rooted community stake in issues, to invest in long term solutions, while also preserving the power of every individual to have a voice on social media and reporting on the issues facing all communities.

I've reached a point where I had to start saying 'sorry, but I don't have time to care/get angry about this right now' and I hated how dismissive it felt. However I may replace this with 'sorry, I'm at capacity crossing the Sad Gap right now'

I find it so frustrating when dwelling about these (mostly not in well-informed ways) is what we are actually supposed to do in certain classes at school and what is therefore encouraged. Just like you said, it's not a sustainable or productive way of thinking and I find it quite sad that it is "taught" to us nonetheless.

So the thing that I have found that helps me negotiate and cross the sad gap is this: *delegation.* Our attention is a finite resource. Attention is a form of labour, like anything else, and while we intuitively grasp the idea that physical activity is finite - you only have so much energy, and so many hours to wash clothes, weed gardens, or write books - our society struggles to apply the same principle to thought. There is an implicit assumption that our brains have infinite processing power, and that we have an infinite capacity to prioritise what we do and don't want to think about. Every time we are presented with an advert, or a post on social media, our brains are forced to exert a bit of effort to decide whether to pay attention to it or not - in the past, it was largely possible to avoid such requests for our time by switching off the computer or television, or going to an area without billboards, but the invention of mobile devices have meant we're now always within reach. Our cognitive bandwidth for rational understanding is pretty low, and so if we attempt to ration it out across a very long list of things that we could worry about, we'll very rapidly get to a point where the level of effort we can devote to any one of them falls to a minute level. What's more, there's increasing evidence that the effort of switching between different mental tasks is also pretty fatiguing from a cognitive point of view: so we are doubly taxed - both by thinking about all of the things, and about *making decisions about how much and when* to think about all of the things. The internet has made matters much worse, because it's constantly bombarding us with a cacophony of issues and advertising that compete for our limited attention, and make the sad gap into a yawning chasm that it's only too easy to slide into. This isn't an inherent flaw of the internet - which has vast potential to be an incredible tool for good - just in how we currently use it. I've started to use delegation to handle this - by delegation, I mean a conscious choice in advance to hand over responsibility for solving certain problems to other people who know more about them than I do. For example, I know absolutely nothing about public health and medicine. I have no relevant qualifications, or professional experience in that field, nor is it something I have much relevant personal experience to add - as such, despite the enormous problems that exist there, I feel it makes sense for me to defer to the community of experts (researchers, doctors, nurses, officials, funders community workers, patient representatives and advocates, volunteers, and elected representatives) who can offer a far more informed and balanced assessment of what to do than me. I do everything I am instructed to do from a public health point of view - i.e. abide by all COVID restrictions - but I do not try to get my head around or take ownership of the awe-inspiring challenges that take place there. This means I can dedicate my energies to solving complex problems that exist in my own field. That's not to say that we should all remain within our little silos - we should always be careful to step outside our cultural universes and consider the bigger picture - but this should be *in service of making us better at our existing field of responsibility*; not an effort to try to solve problems we are personally ill-equipped to address. This requires something that is currently in short supply: trust. We need to trust that other people working on other problems will be dedicated, well-intentioned, and sufficiently competent to tackle them. We also need to trust that, when they fail to live up to those standards, that they will be open-minded and learn the lessons of that failure, and do their best to adapt accordingly. There have been many, many instances of that not happening in recent decades, which has eroded public trust, and so destroyed our confidence in the ability of other people to be as wise, conscientious, and well-intentioned as we ourselves try to be. The central challenge for influencers now, I think, is not to "educate people" about an ever lengthening list of scary threats to humanity, but to restore trust between diverse groups of people, so that we can recognise our common humanity, and our common hope for a better world.

Oh my god I recognized so much of myself being stuck in the sad gap! It is really so easy to just start thinking that everything is hopeless. Your channel is always where I remember to be more optimistic.

That quote "Look for the helpers" came immediately to mind. I never thought much of it because it seemed like a rather passive platitude before, but this gave it some really good context.

JUST today I got reconnected with a group of folks helping to create change, to get myself out of the sad gap and into being inspired and able to dream about a better world.

This gives me a weird amount of hope. I am going to remember that it is not a place, it is a gap

Thanks for putting a name to this feeling and for articulating that there are ways to learn more about issues to engage with them beyond the initial emotions and overwhelming-ness! Looking forward to John's response video.

There’s been such a theme of optimism and hope in your videos lately. I love your explanation of the Sad Gap. It helps define the sense of helplessness we feel when we start to understand an issue but have no idea how to fix.

Yes exactly thank you for putting this feeling into words. I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on getting past the sad gap when it’s not possible to assist in a way we view as sufficient.

I love this video. I am so appreciative that you have put a label on this experience which I have long been plagued with but did not know how to recognize or articulate into form. This makes me feel human and hopeful - can’t wait for the next video(s) on how to cross this chasm of sad gap bewilderment and actually gain the momentum to make a difference. Thanks!

I am truly grateful for how Hank & John inspire so much hope in me.

Amazing video! This is something I have really been feeling myself really (alongside many others as you say) and its so refreshing to see it being addressed, named but also approached with a view on how to overcome it - Thanks Hank - cant wait for Johns on tuesday!

This feels like an expansion upon the ideas in the video about "seeing both". Very insightful, thanks for another great video Hank

This is a really good one, Hank. Thank you. You and your brother make me feel better about living in this deeply uncertain world.

I have noticed this myself, but could never fully explain it until this video, thank you. Like you, I choose to deal with it by focusing on fewer problems and 'choosing my fights'. As of now, the issues I'm trying to educate myself on and help solve are the stigma around mental illnesses, and ableism.

once i stopped incessantly going on social media i got out of the sad gap...it's not evil its just people talking over each other and not ever listening to each other. i dont think social media is bad, humans are just messy

For me, what drags me into the sad gap is the fact that all these problems are Big and I am just one (1) person with no (0) solutions and/or power to enact a solution. And that's another Problem - that so many of us were culturally raised to seek out *individual* solutions no matter the scope of the problem. But hearing Katherine's thought right before this year's P4A - that all problems are interconnected, therefore a solution to even the tiniest problem is a step towards a Solution to a Big Problem (hope I paraphrased well) - has really helped ground me in the reality of what I can do and how what little that seems to be is another brick in the foundation of an eventual Solution.

Personally, I think these last 6 years has created such a sadness gap, for me, it's widened to a chasm that seems neverending. So insurmountable and tiring that it has become my home. I feel like I can't help, don't have the power or influence to help. And so, I become numb. Able only to keep myself going by blocking out at least some of the noise through looking away from the many, many problems. It's not the right way to tackle it but for now, it's how I navigate this weird time in human history 🙁 BUT you and John, the work you do here and in so many ways, is such a source of light in the darkness.Thank you so much for all you do to inform, engage, fundraise and improve our existence here in Nerdfighteria and the wider world. It is everything 🙏

Thank you, Hank. I have grown up watching your videos and have been a Nerdfighter for 9 years. The internet can be a dark place, and your videos are a beacon of light. You educate me, share vulnerability, and restore my general hope for humanity, even in the darkest of times. Thank you for the work you do. It means so much more than you will ever know.

I find disconnecting from the internet regularly every day/a few times a week to be extraordinarily helpful in getting me to keep "BAD STUFF" at a healthy distance, but not enough to make me ignorant of it. Connecting with the small, everyday positive thoughts helps me stay out of the gap, but it's not always perfect.

Hank, you've put into words what I have been feeling and couldn't communicate because I didn't really understand it. The gap is still sad, but it seems less lonely here now. Thank you.

I think the biggest problem about the sad gap is that there's an ego to it, as there is to all depression. It feels self-affirming; Get sad -> Tell yourself the problem can't be fixed -> Do nothing about it due to hopelessness -> The problem continues -> Get sadder. The issue is that currently, so many people are feeling this way that to suggest there could be hope is often considered naivety/stupidity at best and a personal attack on the people who feel hopeless at worst. So we're forcibly dragging the hopefuls into the pit of hopelessness (the sad gap) with an air of pointed self-righteousness. We're actively arguing against our own best interest because it's less challenging to our collectively sad ego than the insurmountable imagining of a continuing struggle against all of this. The long and short of it is this - I think *humanity* right now has depression, and there's a big part of us as a collective that just wants it all to be over already. And if we don't start rewiring the social narrative for hope again soon, THAT will be the thing that does us in. That's how it seems to me, anyway.

Thank you hank. I was waiting for the part where you fully blame social media and was so happy to hear you go away from that

Hank I was just rewatching your video from March 2020 about wutherings and it feels very connected to this one. I am trying as much as I can to look at the So Muchness of the world right now through the lens of the fact that we have all gone through (and are in many ways still going through) a very up-ending, significant, traumatizing world event. That event, as you said in that other video, violated a ton of expectations we maybe didn't know we had about the world and ourselves and our futures. Trauma manifests in many ways, including heightened feelings of anger sadness and hopelessness AND this particular trauma kept us all apart for a long time, and since collective effort is a huge part of how we tackle these giant scary problems it's been much harder for people to find the folks who have crossed the sad gap and are doing things, which might also help them do things. I know all of this is true for me, at the very least.

Wow. I was just talking about how I feel like I am stuck in my anger and sadness over not being able to see a solution to the housing crisis my 4th generation family experiencing in the Flathead and then I saw this. Thank you. I feel like I am maybe going to be able to step back from my anger and try to find a solution. Perfect timing as usual.

I needed this video. Taking a soft break from social media this month and I think it's been doing me some good but the feelings of burnout still persist.

actually what’s really interesting is that this reminds me of when I was 9 and super anxious! I remember writing in a journal (along with a nice little diagram to go along with this) that I was “in between childhood and adulthood”, so I knew about “adult” problems but didn’t know _enough_ -that they weren’t as omnipresent as they seemed, or any ways to solve them. and I haven’t thought about this in YEARS but the concept of the sad gap feels exactly like that. crazy

this video put something into words that ive been thinking about and trying to put my finger on for such a long time! thank you!

What a great topic to start talking about. These kinds of thoughts are what drove me to subscribe a few years back. I honestly have recognized the "sad-gap" in the past, though I had no particular name for it. I believe I have attempted to change my behaviors in order to avoid the "sad-gap" too, although I honestly still find myself in that space too often. I think I experience a "sad-gap" as a student in college more than anything. Frequently there are issues in the structure of the courses or behaviors of my professors which negatively affect me and my fellow students, but there is no actionable way to improve things; thus the solution is to look the other way. That is to say, to ignore the dark spot and persevere anyway. Looking the other way is the behavior I have learned to cope with various "sad-gaps" in my life. If only I could more completely and perfectly compartmentalize issues I perceive or am affected by, I think then maybe I could stay safe and away from any depressing, mood altering "sad-gap"

As a phd student, I get into sad gaps for a lot of different things and since it's research sometimes I will come across a gap that I know for a fact there is no solution of yet. What helps me in those situation is reminding myself that the phrase "Knowledge is Power" is actually incomplete. "Actionable knowledge is Power". So I try to distill down my thoughts into things I can somehow act upon and shelve everything else for later.

I love that these videos are feeling like a dialogue again 💕

I love the Juice Media's content because they talk about some of the big issues, but in their longer vodcast episodes, they also discuss how to solve said issues. It makes it less overwhelming & more hopeful.

THANK YOU. This is an incredibly important topic. I find that the internet, and just the world at large, pressures you into feeling extreme guilt when you aren't "Loudly Caring" about EVERY SINGLE TOPIC that there is to care about... I just wrote and erased a huge paragraph about the thought spirals this leads to, but I digress. If we focus our energies on a couple of topics that we can actually change, maybe we can slowly begin to make the world a better place.

Once again, I am watching a vlogbrothers video at exactly the right point in my life. I have been thinking about the Sad Gap and didn’t have a word for that feeling until now, I have been experiencing it like so many have been, and my list of Sad Gap worries is exactly the same as Hank’s list. I really really need to hear this video this week. Thank you Hank.

@monicad9230

2 жыл бұрын

I hope Hank doesn’t mind but I am completely stealing the phrase Sad Gap. (It’s the perfect title for a poem I wrote)

Thank you for this message. I’ve been thinking on something for a while now but it’s been like looking at a jigsaw puzzle without all of the pieces placed. I’m hopeful this idea I have will become something useful, helpful, hopeful. This video of yours today gave me another small measure of courage to get there.

You described my current feelings (especially since a few weeks I’d say) very well! And even though you didn’t provide me with a solution (kinda counting on you, John ;) ), this gave me hope. Knowing other people are aware of this and I’m not the only one looking around perplexed, helps. Because “the list is too long” 🥴😊

I never thought about this, but since you’ve pointed it out, it makes so much sense. For so many problems, I’ve just felt defeated until I learned about real solutions and how to help.

compassion fatigue is a real thing that affects people like counsellors and therapists and anyone who cares about other people professionally. i don't know what the best solutions to it are, but i know that people are working hard at trying to find them! maybe there are some good answers there that could help with crossing the sad gap.

I infrequently watch your videos anymore because I often feel like I've outgrown this channel, but I NEEDED this today. I had my third climate-anxiety-related panic attack of the week this morning. I definitely don't think in terms of evil very often, but I needed to hear SOMEONE express some kind of optimism about this issue that didn't deny the hopeless feeling.

There’s so much of everything and so very little of us. What helps me move past the sad gap is humility. I can’t fix everything but I sure have some influence over the little sphere or corner that I call my life so instead of being hopeless in that gap I chose to focus on my little world and try to change,fix care for it and in that way I believe I’m doing both my mental health and the world a favor

I used to have a job that generally had me working on several projects at once and somewhere along the way I realized that I was never going to be able to give all the projects all my attention all the time. I had been stressing (or at least lamenting) that "nothing is ever getting done," but once I came to that realization and decided only to stress about the stuff that was the most critical, or had the nearest deadline, or that had the most impact (or whatever) my stress and lamentations went way down. I think that holds the answer to the Sad Gap, too. I've been working in the world of homeless services for the past decade and so having that be the source of my livelihood, I came out the other side knowing the facts of how homelessness happens and how it ends and the statistics that show what does and doesn't work. And having that level of focus, and my previous realization about my own limits, I have avoided falling into the sad cap from the other side on quite a few other issues. This is partly because I just don't have the time and resources to get so involved in learning about them, and partly because understanding homelessness as I do, I can "console" myself that others are working on all the other issues on the list of things to worry about and absolve myself from at least some of the responsibility for solving them. Not that I'm careless about my recycling or go driving around burning gasoline for no reason or whatever, but neither do I beat myself up for not composting more or for not doing deep research on local politics, or whatever. I can only do what I can do and if I do my best on the two or three issues I focus on, then I can let others do the deep dives on other topics. That said, I do think I might need to run for office because I don't know how else to have enough impact on our political systems to make things better, but that can be a problem for another day. But I give myself permission to quit worrying about our politics for the time being leaving that mess to others and be content making a difference in homelessness. And participating in the Awesome Coffee Club. Oh! that reminds me, I just changed banks! Probably need to do something there!

It is amazing you put a name to something so prevalent and yet undiscussed. Great vid

Thank you for listing those things, love the snapshot of issues of our time. It’s also gonna be a great reference for my ADHD, nice to have everything where you can see it

I have a toddler, and I've been watching a lot of Sesame Street. And there's this really big push in the last few seasons on "when there's a problem to solve what do you say?" to which the answer is always, "I wonder... What if...? Let's try!" And it's honestly helped me think about things differently.

Actually You and John and Nerdfighteria have helped me bridge moments I was in the sad gap through these many years. I wish I could thank you more than the little that I do, but that is the beauty of this as well. Many little movements make the watch work. While we might not be as coordinated as a bunch of gears, engineered to exact precision. However around the plethora of proper peeps proudly proclaiming ourselves; Nerds!.. you can find yourself moving in the right direction. I've always loved and tried to keep to your notion of DFTBA. Thank you

Yes. This. Great job, Hank! We have all been stuck in our internet bubbles and it has been easy with two+ years of uncertainty and pandemic to feel helplessness, anger, and blame. And to let that mindset bleed into other issues more and more. I *strongly* believe we can also use social media to spread the problem-solving, facing-issues-with-informed-action mindset. Maybe we need to be talking about this *constantly* because it is easy to forget that this perspective is always available to us when we are bombarded with 'new' and urgent problems?

I'm first for once. And yes I agree with you on the sad gap. There are so many issues both in the worl and personal problems that we have to also consider here. Some people get overwhelmed with their own sad gap of personal or family problems that they can't even think of the complex societal issues that are abound. My only solution to this kind of thinking is to try to work on whatever personal issues you can work with first and try to help out what causes you can on the societal level. Whether that is social media engagement or financial assistance or volunteering or working professionally. But also be grateful for both the things we do have and also think of the people who are helping us through these major issues and try to help them if you possibly can.

This video helps make me wonder about the relationship between the sad gap and performance activism. Is performance activism a response to or even born out of some people trying to find an answer out of the sad gap? For example: I'll post this black square (for example) because it's easier to appease the people weaponizing their "sad gapness" at me rather than trying to wrap my head around this and get out of the sad gap myself.

It is difficult to feel hopeful about the future in these times but every Tuesday and Friday for four minutes each I feel a little less hopeless. Thank you because I know it must be very hard for both of you too and I truly appreciate the effort

This video helped something click in my mind. For a long time I've been stuck thinking that we have solutions for all our problems except the problem of getting people to care. I see now that sentiment implicitly criticizes Hank and his work. I gotta remember there are good people on that job too. Hank, if you somehow see this. I don't think plastic is the toughest nut to crack. I don't think it's energy storage either. You chose the hardest problem we face and I'm willing to hope you (and your fellow science communicators) are the ones for the job.

Wow. You have located the breeding ground of all my depression & anxiety. (trying hard to avoid the gap looping that could ensue)

This is so well observed and really helpful to think about, thank you.

That's a great way to describe the issue and a way I've never really thought about it before. I'm very much of the philosophy that if you can't change something don't worry about it, but that hasn't stopped me from becoming more cynical about the world as I find out about these issues and the people causing them. It's good to have a reminder that there are millions of people trying to make the world better and actively solve these issues and that you can contribute to solving them yourself.

When I enter the sad gap, I disconnect from my socials and the news for a little bit, read a book or watch a movie, and then I dive into making sure I'm living my life in accordance with my values. When I see a problem, I am only one person and can only do a little bit - but the world is so interconnected that if I talk about what's going on and what can be done (aka the people or groups who are taking action and can be openly supported), those potential solutions can spread. It's one of the reasons why, for example, I started paying as much attention to local and state politics as I do national politics - because it's a trickle UP system. So my only advice is don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and just know that you are often doing all you can just by living in accordance with your own values.