I agree Codependency effects every single area of my life....

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

Yes, it definitely can. You’re not alone. I hope my videos help you understand the process of recovery.

This is such an important video. Nicely describes the programs, how they help, and how they fit with other healing work. Michelle also answers the top-of-mind questions that a lot of people may not feel comfortable asking when they're new to one of these programs. As always, she also explains things in a clear, relatable and human way.

@MichelleFarrismft

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you James!! You know how much I love them!

I'm super grateful for you and the information you share. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being part of my journey. S.K.

@MichelleFarrismft

2 жыл бұрын

You are SO welcome! Thank you for watching and being so willing to learn. That says a lot about you and your willingness to so this work!

Thanks!

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome! Thank YOU for watching!

There is only one CODA meeting in my town of almost 300,000 people. I attended for 6 months and found the group to be very closed to new people even ignoring new comers. After seeing people leaving because they’re not welcome into a closed group I left also. I got nothing out of being around people who wanted to keep the group small for their own comfort. I saw it as highly dysfunctional and toxic. Not all groups are this way or have to be this way. It just so happens to be the only meeting in town and evidently it’s only for certain people approved by the group. Otherwise they won’t speak to anyone outside the core group. Online meetings are an option to find healthy groups to participate in if you also have extremely limited options for meetings.

@MichelleFarrismft

Ай бұрын

I'm sorry you had that experience. That's why I recommend Al-Anon more - they have a lot more meetings ( online and in person ). Please don't give up yet - while yes some groups are dysfunctional there are healthy groups that will welcome you :)

Thanks for posting this! Do you also recommend the ACA program?

@MichelleFarrismft

2 жыл бұрын

Yes absolutely - that program deals a bit more with childhood issues but I think they address issues of codependency as well.

@Nikitaxo24

7 ай бұрын

What's that program

@Lena-zo2tl

7 ай бұрын

Adult Children of Alcoholics.

This was tremendously helpful. Thank you for sharing all of the various reason that 12-steps programs can be beneficial for codependency recovery. I am 60 years old and have been working on healing childhood trauma for 30 years. I have made great strides by working with therapists, but I still feel stuck in terms of how codependent I am. I have started saying the Serenity Prayer to give me peace of mind during the last 5 years. I had been considering joining CODA. Your video was just the info that I needed to proceed. THANK YOU!!

@MichelleFarrismft

2 жыл бұрын

Oh I am so happy to hear this! That’s exactly why I thought this would be an important topic. Thank you so much for watching’

@nowheregirl2791

3 ай бұрын

How has it been working out for you?

We don’t have anything like that in the part of the uk where I live, I feel codependent on my daughter or my son but they’ve flown the nest so basically I have no one else so I have abandonment issues as well, I feel so scared and weak and shake so I’m getting that I don’t feel strong enough to heave the hous e

@MichelleFarrismft

2 жыл бұрын

Wendy, the meetings on Zoom might work since they can be anywhere in the world. You don't have to be alone with this. Here is the link al-anon.org just to go meetings and it will have electronic or Zoom meetings listed. You can do this!

Coda emphasizes a relationship with a power greater than yourself or higher power that that no where does it say not to have one or embark on any spirituality?

@MichelleFarrismft

8 ай бұрын

Sorry not sure what you mean. I think the point I was making was that developing a relationship with a Higher Power can create resistance and it’s not required. Of course, it’s an important part of recovery but people are still free to choose or not. Hope that helps.

When we concentrate on our recovery in the twelve steps program the Higher power irons out our issues.we dont need to believe in god to do a twelve step program we just need to believe in a power greater than our self.thats your higher power

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely- you can believe in any concept that suits you! Thanks for watching and contributing!

@carolinenorman6141

Жыл бұрын

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇬🇧👍

Plz provide me link about 12 steps program

@MichelleFarrismft

Ай бұрын

al-anon.org

♥️

I was attending a local CODA group for several years..... Unfortunately it disbanded due to lack of attendance. .

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

Have you tried Al-Anon? A lot of their meetings are still on Zoom too.

@sandbar3000

Жыл бұрын

Tons of coda meetings are online. I just need smart recovery. The steps with God & talking about remove my "defects of character" is bs. I'm tired of focusing always of everything wrong with me. God. Shut up. Let's talk about the good. Not the bad.

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

@@sandbar3000 I think recovery is about addressing both but our defects don’t make us bad they make us human. Thanks for watching Sandra!

@janny474

Жыл бұрын

​@@sandbar3000 I see your point.

No legs lady was going to this because she couldn’t recognize the enabling in her life. I saw it within two interactions. That’s why I used her.

Step one talks about recognizing God in a higher power how can you do Coda meetings or any 12-step meeting if you don't even do the first step because I will rip every single higher power word out of the blue book I will just say nope higher power delete that God delete that higher power God Jesus prayer delete all those words if I did that what would be left in the Blue Book? What would be left in that big blue book? I'm talking about both the AA the big book and the blue book The Blue CoDA book I'm talking about both. What would be left if I ripped out every single word that said higher power pray prayer go to your higher power and pray and God. What would be left? The only thing that would be left is go to yourself ask your friends or ask yourself these questions and trust yourself and trust your friends and trust your family. But Coda and 12 steps is based on trusting God it's based on trusting some power outside of ourselves it is not based on trusting ourselves. And there's a problem there with AA because according to AA you cannot trust yourself because you have a disease and you cannot control the alcohol. So I can understand why atheists will not want to go to AA or any 12-step meeting because it does not make sense if you can't control yourself because you have a disease how can you trust yourself if you're an atheist you don't believe in a god

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

That's the beauty of 12 step programs - they are only suggestions but not mandatory. You can "take what you like and leave the rest" which is why they can help so many people.

where is a coda group

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

Here is the link coda.org

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

But Al-Anon has more meetings al-anon.org

You do NOT "GET" A SPONSOR IN CODA. Many people don't want to be a sponsor because they're tired of helping other people and they only want to help themselves and they're told not to go out and help other people too much. I was told that in a Coda meeting about 2 years ago. I put my name on a list and no one ever called me. Not every group has people pushing people to be a sponsor

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

In Al-Anon people are very willing to sponsor because they know that in order to recover they have to give it away but I understand codependents being tired of helping.

In my extensive experience, CODA is full of unrecovered and very ill people. Good luck finding anyone who has what you want. I think Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families is a much better choice for healing codependency. I found Al-Anon to not be very deep into healing the inner child.

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

I’m so glad you found a program that works for you!

So my God is me. God & I are one. So all the steps with the word GOD I'm it means I turn to myself for the answers. Not to some sky daddy or sky mommy bs. Why is this power a power "greater than us" Maybe it's a power WITHIN US or a power we don't understand yet. Why must it be a HE & THIS GOD has to be OUTSIDE OF US that sounds like a bunch of Christian Jesus ba to me

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

That’s the great thing about your Higher Power - you get to decide what that looks like and you’re absolutely right - for some it is a power WITHIN. Great point - thank you for watching and contributing. 😊

6:15 rip the word God or higher power out of the big book & every step So sick of the sky daddy bs. Oh I need to pray. Well I must pray to myself since God & I are one.

@MichelleFarrismft

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching!