Anorexia and mental health recovery *DAY BEFORE WEIGH IN*
Hej nice to meet you!
My name is Cornelia, what's yours?
I used to use this channel to document my life as a student, but seeing as looking after my mental health has become my number one priority, and full-time job, there hasn't been time for school.. sadly
But I miss expressing myself and documenting my life through editing and video recording, and seeing as I'm attempting to find new ways to fill up my days besides obsessing over my next meal, I thought I might dust off my editing software, and pick up the camera again.
I've been documenting part of the process on my Danish Tiktok account where I've gained quite the following (10,7K), If you speak Danish you can check out my content there.
But I wanna branch out, and meet people from all over this crazy, scary weird, and wonderful world of ours, so I've decided to keep my content in English.
I don't quite know what and how often I will post from now on out, but what I do know is that I will attempt to document my recovery process, to the best of my ability.
Here's to looking after myself for the first time, in forever.
Much love
Cornelia Xx
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WHERE TO FIND ME
Instagram: Cornelia.kruse & Dearcornelia_
Tiktok: Corneliakruse (Danish) Corneliakrusebackup (English)
E-mail: madelaine.serena@gmail.com
FAQ
How old are you: I'm 20 years old, as of the 17th of March 2023
What is your nationality: My nationality is Danish. where I was also born, raised, and currently live.
Are you vegan?: No, I do not consider myself vegan but I am vegetarian.
CURRENT SUBSCRIBER COUNT
7.090
Chapters :)
00:00 - Hi and welcome :)
00:51 - Breakfast
01:50 - Dog Walk
02:15 - Groceries and haul!
03:45 - Anxiety talk
04:27 - Lunch
06:47 - Exposure therapy
08:17 - Snack time 😎
09:03 - Reading
09:58 - Dinner
12:27 - Distractions and journaling
Пікірлер: 91
omg the fact that ur recovering from a relapse, inspires me so much! i feel like relapse recovery can be more painful, it feels invalidating to me? im proud of u! thank u for posting this
@dearcornelia
10 ай бұрын
IT’S SO DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS VALID! if you’re struggling you’re struggling. Period. I feelt like a failure for the longest time because I had spent 9 months of valuable treatment time, that someone else could have used, and then 2 weeks later relapsed and had to do it all over again, and more. But as my therapist and I have talked about HUNDREDS of times at this point, a relapse isn’t a fall. It’s an opportunity for reflection. Why did it go that way? What triggered it? What do I need to be more aware of in the future? Are there certain people I need to distance myself from? Certain places? Relapse is NEVER a failure. It’s an opportunity to get to know yourself more ❤️
I just wanted to say thank you for posting this video onto the internet; I cannot imagine how scary it must have felt before putting this up but I am so glad you did. The online space needs more people and videos like this that just shows the reality of being human, it’s not easy and there are so many setbacks as well as achievements. I am so proud of you for keeping on going xxx I also really admire your positivity and hopefulness (which I myself have recently lost a little); you actually gave me inspiration to challenge myself and believe in myself a bit more - regarding my own mental health struggles - than I have recently and I desperately needed that. Thank you 🤍🤍🤍
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
WOW, WOW, WOW… I’m at a los of words to be honest.. I can’t even begin to describe how much this means to me, so thank you. Truly truly thank you. It’s so easy to be blinded from our strengths, but more and more people have been telling me about my positive attitude. I don’t necessarily see it myself, but you pointing it out makes me look for it even further, so thank you. Truly 🥹❤️
you seem like a lovely person!💕 hope you keep taking care of yourself, i’m sure you got this!! ^-^
Your singing voice is utterly beautiful ❤ also love Six!
I was so impressed that you put through even you were so scared and even got to eat your snack! you go girl, one step closer to freedom
first: your american accent is literaly sooo good! Like i thought that u were american, girl! And second: your singing is on TOP! Love u!
I loved this video so much and it is amazing to have you back!! As someone who has also struggled with their mental health, the way you approach and discuss recovery with such gentleness and self-forgiveness is so wonderful, and your words reminded me to be kinder to myself as well.
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
I’ve missed you aswell! And thank you. Your words mean a lot. I’m happy that speaking my thoughts out loud gave you some takeaways ❤️
I just discovered your channel and already fell in love! So excited to follow your journal and see you grow and glow up ❤️❤️
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Thank you 🤧♥
Jeg er så stolt av deg!!💛 Fortsett med det harde arbeidet du gjør. Det kommer til å gå bra! Jeg lover!
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Hvor er du skøn Andrea ❤️ så taknemmelig for vores venskab. Tak ❤️❤️
And you take care of yourself too! Beautiful! Thank you for sharing. It’s a rare gift to be given a chance to see a real part of one’s life🧡
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Thank you, it took courage to share it aswell, but it’s just another human experience, and I’m happy to bring some nuance to the world ❤️
hi cornelia! ive been following you since before lockdown and i really missed your videos I cant imagine how difficult it must be to open up on the internet but i just want to say thank you so much i have struggled with mental health a lot these past few years and im so comforted to know that i am not alone and i also just want to say that you deserve the best in life and thank you for being here , continue being kind to yourself and good luck with everything. we are all here for you xxxx
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
You’re most definitely not alone. No one is alone. EVER. And thank you. Truly ❤️
i'm so happy that you came back, i wish you all the best. i really love you as a pearson you've helped me so much ❤❤❤❤❤
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
And I Wish you all the best ❤️
You seem like such a calming and loving person to be around. I really hope your doing okay and things get better for you, I know they will! We’re both reading the same book it’s so good I love it! 🤍🤍
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Thank you, seeing as it’s three days since I posted, things are relatively still the same lol, but hopefully with time, things will one day be better ❤️ And yes the book is SO good!! I just started “Junior Year” and I just don’t want it to end 😭
"its really really tasty, and I want to eat it, but my brain is like: no food for you missy" That's so real, i could have never felt so identifyed with a sentence. I am recovering from anorexia, I recently got out of hospital and am following a meal plan, but I cant handle my food, my parents have to come prepare it for me, I cant go shopping or cook either. Its exausting cause I love all those things, but it really helped me to let go of the control I had over my food. I wanted to come by and admire your courage and openness to post this, it really helps to see there are more people put there in the same struggle, and you have been so strong standing up to anorexia, I really admire you. You talk about all the things I feel myself and wasnt able to express, you make me feel free somehow, as if it was me who is talking about my struggles with a loved one. I somehow have issues expressing and talking about my feelings, so seeing you do it and identifiyng all those feelings and thoughts really helps. Thank you, truly.
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Wow… this is more than I could have asked for. My video made sense to me, had meaning for myself, and my recovery. But for it to make sense and have meaning to you, means more to me than you will ever understand. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing that with me ❤️
You’re doing great! You always inspire me no matter what you do. You got this.
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Kyla, MY Kyla. GOD I miss you.. Thank you. It’s all I can say. Thank you ❤️
@kylacarey9096
11 ай бұрын
@@dearcornelia I miss you too girl keep at it! I got your back over here.
Your voice is so pretty omg! I felt the food guilt parts in the vid.. but always remind yourself of how strong you are
@dearcornelia
10 ай бұрын
OMG THANK YOU!! Singing has been my primary form of distraction from day one, I LOVE musical theatre and have so since I was like 5. I’m actually part of a pre professional program in Denmark, and we just started rehearsals back up, after summer break, this week! I don’t think you understand just how excited I am 🥹
Aha! Here we go! I had to watch ep1 to hear you singing!
@dearcornelia
10 ай бұрын
Ahahah once I start singing I can’t stop 🤪
You are great. You are inspiration and very strong. I had perfect 20th of my life, being cool, productive, happy and effective. And by my 30 I'm loosing myself in deep depression trying to get out from this trap....And videos like your help me distract. Thanks!
@dearcornelia
10 ай бұрын
So glad that I can be of comfort ❤️🩹
Hej Cornelia
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Hvor er jeg ked af at høre hvor meget du bakser med. Men taknemmelig for at jeg kan give dig et lille pusterum. Tak for ordene, glæder mig til at dele mere med dig 🥹❤️
Hey Cornelia! I just found this video recommended to me, and I just subscribed to your channel because honestly, this video was very helpful for me as I am in Anorexia recovery currently, and it has been a year and a half into it. When you were eating your dinner, and you said "its getting difficult now, cause i'm getting really full, which is triggering the eating disorder, but i know I haven't eaten enough yet" at 11:40, this is exactly... literally exactly what i say to myself when i eat certain meals. So hearing you say that made me feel so much comfort knowing that I'm not alone and have the same issue about getting pretty full by only a couple bites, but I know if I just stop there, I wouldn't have eaten enough so i tell myself I have to keep going and push through the discomfort to have proper digestion and less bloating overtime. I want my body and stomach to learn that it needs to start expanding to fit more nourishment in order for me to recover, and that eating only a little bit of my meal or snack, is truly not enough despite my fullness. It is so difficult, yet so necessary for a full recovery. I looked up recently why I feel so full only after eating a little of my meals, snacks etc, and it said that I may have developed Gastroparesis which is when your stomach is "slow to empty" and you have "early satiety" which i wasn't shocked because of how i was not nourishing my body properly for a year or so. However, despite what I have developed whilst into my recovery, this video gave me reassurance and motivation to just keep moving forward and how each bite is a step closer to freedom from the demons of our ED's. With this being said, thank you so very much for this video, and I look forward to watching your other videos on your channel soon as well! Also, you are absolutely stunning, and I am so proud of how you kept pushing yourself and doing the right thing despite what your ED was telling you in your head! Keep on going, you got this!!🫶❤🩹
@dearcornelia
10 ай бұрын
OH. MY. GOD. You don’t understand how happy this made me!!! I’m so proud of you for pushing through even though I can imagine how loud your head must be. THATS REAL COOL PEOPLE SHIT! ❤️💪🏻
Hi lovely Cornelia, thank you so much for this vid
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
I love that song, thank you ❤️🩹
Så godt redigeret! Keep it up🙌
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Tak, hvor du sød 🥹❤️
I was anorexic as a teen... Then I recovered in the United States... And then, at 23 I got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder... :/ Don't do drugs, Cornelia. Love yourself ❤ you're not alone❤ ❤❤
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Most definitely not doing any drugs and never have aha. and trying on all the other parts :)
@Dianaandtheroses
Жыл бұрын
@@dearcornelia we're here for you! I don't really know how I recovered... If so I would tell you... It was just like natural change of scenery and people... Thanks for sharing your story! 🙏💕
@Dianaandtheroses
Жыл бұрын
@@dearcornelia i just tell you the drug thing so You don't end up like me. God forbid. And... Yeah, I remember I went to a exchange program and just being around simple minded people helped me a Lot to rethink My view on everything. I was just happy. Then came back to Caracas and well... The rest is history...
Hey, I follow you since two years and was so sad when you stopped downloading. I had no idea what you were going through and I wish you the best!
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Thank you, many people didn't know, but to quote a wise person "Sharing another human experience" will always be of interest to me
Hi Cornelia, my name is Elaine. I really miss you! So glad you came back❤
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
♥️♥️♥️
Elsker dine videoer, følger også med på tiktok, du er en kæmpe inspiration
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Hvor er du skøn, tak ❤️
How nice of you to reply all the comments
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
When people are kind enough to comment, it deserves a reply ♥️
Amazing video❤️❤️
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Thank you!! ♥️
Proud of you ❤
@irismealorolsen2509
Жыл бұрын
NB: "not that i have PTSD or anything"... ....................................
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
♥️♥️♥️
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
*Walking side eye* 👀
omg do you know kruidnoten? It comes from the Netherlands and is for a holiday called 'Sinterklaas'. I love it but haven't eaten it yet because I'm really scared of it haha😂❤
0:09, If you're a highschool dropout, are you able to return to where you left off when dropping out? I know someone who battled anorexia too, just like myself, who also dropped out (I didn't), who were able to return to where she dropped out when she finally was back to being far into recovery!
Yea my relapses are always worse then the first time I became anorexic😢
If I remember correctly , u use to make videos about living in Colorado.Just curious did u deleted ur previous videos?
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
I did yes, but I have privated them now :)
Stemmen din er veldig fin. Kva sang var det su sang? Ønsker deg lykke til på reisen til friskhet❤
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Tusind tak til begge ting ❤️ Sangen hedder “Heart of Stone” og er fra musicalen: Six
Can I ask why you choose to use a zero calorie sweetener? Can’t that be restrictive? I’m not trying to be rude btw
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Not at all rude! I find it easier to use that as supposed to a caloric one. Some might say it’s restrictive, but the oatmeal without the sweetener has enough calories, carbs, fat and protein, that adding a caloric sweetener isn’t necessary. It is allowed obvs. but I don’t mind the zero calorie one. I kinda see it ass choosing a zero calorie soda over a caloric one. As long as I’m getting the calories and all the other micro and macro nutrients that I need, it doesn’t bother me or my dietician ☺️
@noonwalk20
11 ай бұрын
@@dearcornelia Thank you for your response and this makes sm sense!
I’ve heard that the grenade Oreo bar is really good. But sadly they’re not veggie 😩
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
THEY ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD GOOD!! I have like two cases in my snack cabinet. They do contain milk so not vegan, but they are vegetarian ❤️👀
Du er virkelig sej 💪🏼 kæmper selv med spiseforstyrrelse og skizofreni og skal i udredning igen 😫 men vil bare sige dine videoer på tiktok hjælper mig med og spise hverdag så Taak for dig 🙏🏻❤
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Nej hvor er du skøn! Tusind tak 🤧😍
Hola, cheerp up ✌️
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Cheerp! Cheerp!
And you need to try watermelons with lemon juice and cinnamon, trust me, that’s SOOOO good
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
UHHHH I'M GONNA HAVE TO TRY THAT LATER THEN!! Have you ever tried it with Tajín tho? That's GOOD!
@mirchen01
11 ай бұрын
@@dearcornelia YOU REALLY NEED TO and omg no I didn’t
what dit engelsk er godt!!! man kan slet ik høre du dansk!
@dearcornelia
Жыл бұрын
Ahah tak, kan selv godt høre det af og til. Men tak ❤️
what zodiac sign are you?
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
I’m a pieces lol. Why?
@NoirL.A.
11 ай бұрын
@@dearcornelia just curious. and you could actually speak to LARS ULRICH, right? as in danish.
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Yeah we speak the same language. But I bet you he speaks English aswell 😂
@NoirL.A.
11 ай бұрын
@@dearcornelia have you ever been outside europe? i mean the continent not the political boundaries.
@dearcornelia
11 ай бұрын
Yes, I’ve been to many different parts of North America multiple times, and actually lived in Colorado. I’ve also vacationed in Dubai, so Asia
Grenade bars are hideously over priced !!!
@dearcornelia
10 ай бұрын
God thing that I get to chose where I spend MY money then 😉
@georgielacey3929
10 ай бұрын
Absolutely! Really like your channel , all the best with your recovery ❤️🩹