"They discover why the anaconda has been so pissed and that's because Voight has been strangling everyone with his legs and framing the anaconda." I think I like your version of this movie more than the actual film.

The Anaconda only killed the Panther to get a hold of his DAIMONDS as bait for humans

@Jazzypants2007

3 жыл бұрын

MAGOD!!

@schlamuffenimperator9460

2 жыл бұрын

Mewmew/Keno: "You killed my father the Panther my father?"

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

And then his son said they should be enemies.

I still can't believe, that "Stupid surprised panther" didn't become a thing :(

@Airus1

7 жыл бұрын

not outside of Phelans channel :)

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

I do use it myself, as often as I can. :P

"Boyd's been strangling everyone with his legs and framing the Anaconda" The sequel would have been better if it starred the son of the Anaconda trying to clear his fathers name

@lainiwakura666

8 жыл бұрын

the wrongfully acussed anaconda was the real victim in this

When I saw this as a kid, I came to the conclusion that the reason for John Voight's face in that scene was him "trying to summon the anaconda with his mind". And to this day, I still believe that's what he was trying to do.

I'm sorry I fucking died laughing on that surprised panther scene LMAO...I lost it

@BalloonSage

9 жыл бұрын

Oh, there's plenty more "stupid surprised" animals on the way.

@silent.houseplant

7 жыл бұрын

ThePistons4life yeah it was hilarious 😂

@spindalis79

6 жыл бұрын

Panthers aren't even from South America, sooooo......

That poor woman! Death by head between john voughts legs while he makes that face. That poor poor woman.

@JustinJTime

5 жыл бұрын

She should have used her abilities to use twin pistols and blowing up vehicles from Red Alert 2/Yuri's Revenge.

@Manx-lb1oc

5 жыл бұрын

Would it have been better if she had died between the legs of Famke Janssen (she played a villain who's modus operandi was strangling victims with her legs, in GoldenEye)? I think Owen Wilson would've preferred to be killed by her.

@theitfactorjameswheezer2852

2 жыл бұрын

@@Manx-lb1oc Owen Wilson and Famke Janssen were in I Spy together

I just find it funny whenever Phelous says "Ice Cubes".

@SpeedyEric1

7 жыл бұрын

They probably call Ice Cube "Ice Cubes" up in Canada for reasons.

The Narrator is actually an Egyptologist from the first Mummy movie. The snake is just part of Imohtep's curse.

@scitechian

4 жыл бұрын

Interesting idea. Turns out Imhotep was just following the Jewish interpretation of the plagues, where one of them was wild beasts.

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

Huh! I knew that voice sounded familiar. Even this far from Egypt, the curse got him.

Phelous's John Voight impression at the end is part of why this will always be one of my favourite reviews, haha!

That's a pretty good Jon Voight impression.

Jesus, I DIED at the surprised panther part !!!! XDD

@user-dr2yz8um3d

2 жыл бұрын

We all did!

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

The jaguar (panthers live in Africa/Asia) sure died too!

Everytime the panther shows up, I can't help but to crack up laughing. 😆😆😆😆

@user-dr2yz8um3d

10 ай бұрын

Me too the first time 😂

Whatever you think of the movie, you got to acknowledge the cinematography is beautiful.

8 years later to the date and its still one of my favorite reviews. Never stop phelous, we dont care how loud you sound!

Apparently the snake scream was done by Frank Welker.

@coyotefever105

8 жыл бұрын

Love that guy.

@quentinkaasa47

7 жыл бұрын

The snake vocals were actually done by two guys. Frank is one of them.

@SpeedyEric1

7 жыл бұрын

At least he didn't play BB in Deadly Friend.

@TheBonkleFox

4 жыл бұрын

Cries and Screams are music to this snake's ears

@Hessed3712

3 жыл бұрын

That is cool.

The Ending Part just killed me XD

@TheMovieCuban

3 жыл бұрын

It’s my favorite part of the video. When John voights character kills Phelps with his legs

My mom actually likes this film. Then again she liked Sharknado too, so I guess she just likes this genre.

All joking aside, Jon Voight was awesome in this movie. The perfect mix of charismatic and sinister.

Even when I saw this in theaters as a little kid, I realized Voight's wink after being regurgitated was one of the dumbest things I had ever seen.

@tenkaistern5549

9 жыл бұрын

Balloon Sage Same to me. I almost missed it and was like: Wait did that guy just wink? Is he now dead or isn´t he?

@c.o7993

6 жыл бұрын

This was in cinemas?

@UnCreativeDeconstructionism

6 жыл бұрын

Paranormal17 it was.

@in_vas_por8810

5 жыл бұрын

I remember it too. I didn't start getting really cynical until I was older, but that wink was corny AF for that time period, and thats saying something. I think my other theory was that he was so bloated and fucked up that it was an involuntary wink, which would have made it creepier, but I don't think thats what was intended.

@Takimeko

5 жыл бұрын

The fact you were a small child when you saw this is pretty odd.

In order to salvage Anaconda, I'd re-write it that the snake isn't actually an anaconda. In my alternate fantasy version of this film, the snake is actually a demonic creature that is either guarding something or simply here to feast on humans for a time. The group slowly come to this realization partway through the film and though some want to simply leave, others decide they must stay and fight the infernal creature or else this thing will continue to "go on a RAMPAGE". • It's freakishly huge and yet moves with lightning fast precision even by anaconda standards. • It attempts to eat full grown people, which anacondas don't do. • After it has killed and eaten someone, it should slow down and rest somewhere, but it keeps going and seems to digest people far quicker than a normal one could ever hope to. • It screeches. • It shows heightened awareness, problem-solving, and has a creepy sense of determination to maim and kill everyone. Jon Voight's character knows what it really is and he's the only one that knows how to stop it, but the problem is that he doesn't want to kill it. Not yet. He's on to some great discovery, perhaps you could somehow work this whole "fountain of youth" thing in there from the Blood Orchids that were introduced in the later films, but just axe all this super-science-silliness that never made any sense. Just have the flower (or, if you wish to get biblical, we can make it "forbidden fruit") be the MacGuffin, Voight wants to capture the "demon" perhaps because he knows its true nature and wants to steal its power or make a trade with it? This would give him a vastly more valid reason to go all crazy with the crew, but not want to outright kill it even when the opportunity presents itself. As for all the other flaws in this movie? I don't know, just make the dialogue and characterizations less stupid. The FX of the flick aren't bad, especially the practical ones. The cast is overall much better and I genuinely like the look and "feel" of this film, it's just a shame that they never address the fact that the anaconda doesn't behave anything like a real anaconda. Could have been the supernatural "Predator" of giant creature features. Still the best one of the whole series.

@ripleyjlawman.3162

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds great.

@Tareltonlives

4 жыл бұрын

That actually makes sense. I mean, a lot of the stories of giant anacondas make them pretty much river gods and supernatural

@theitfactorjameswheezer2852

2 жыл бұрын

So you just want to make Deep Rising?

Killer Snake movies are my guilty pleasure. I remember seeing this in the Drive-in movies when they were still around and loved the hell out of it.

I come back to this review sometimes as it makes me laugh so much. Particularly the Jon Voight acting casual and legs of steel moments. And the review ending is the best!

My anaconda don't cost a thing

XD that panther's face he was like"Oh Shit"

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

That's how Ravage died in Beast Wars. "Decepticons FOREVER!" (gets eaten by a snake)

I remember seeing this movie being advertised on TV when it was coming out in theatres. I thought it looked scary, but after seeing clips of it on TV, and watching this review for the first time, I discovered it was anything BUT. 1:32- Cough, The Haunting, cough. 2:07- I know how that worked. When Owen caught Voight, Voight's weight made Owen turned a full 180, which caused Voight to land on his back. I love how you pronounced Kari Wuhrer's name. 5:04 to 5:07- For some stupid reason, your Jon Voight reminds me of Marlon Brando saying "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

Same here, and I love how Phelous can make all these horror movies I was afraid of as a kid seem ridiculous and stupid.

I want a see a whole movie with Phelan doing his Jon Voight impression, playing it straight.

Phelan kareoke; I love that as a dodge around the copyright music.

@user-dr2yz8um3d

3 жыл бұрын

Stinks the actual songs were taken out but phelous replacing them makes them that much more hilarious! I’m dying with laughter 🤣

I lost my shit when you made that face at 5:04!! Haven't laughed that hard in a while! Especially since I've had a lot of bad luck recently. Thank you Phelous :)

I love this film. It is shamelessly schlocky and silly. John Voight is amazing in it. Even though he's a insane hunter, etc. He's still the most sensible there. The video is funny though.

At least they didn't have Sir Mix-A-Lot in this movie.

Those legs are so powerful!! 😂😂

@user-dr2yz8um3d

Жыл бұрын

@9:51 Phelps’s singing is killing me 😂

The snake having Yoshi's sound effects just made it adorable.

I fell bad for the anaconda he just wants to stop John vought and clear his name but is killed

It breaks my heart how this video doesn't appear when searching for "anacondous."

3:26 Stupid surprised Panther! XD

10:45 - Phelous missed it here, but they actually killed the anaconda when saving Ice Cubes. The anaconda that shows up afterwards is a second, bigger snake.

I'll never forget seeing this film in the theater with my older brother and it was only us and two other people for the film! My brother and I were happy because we got to put our feet up on the chairs in front of us.

@thehorrorhound6575

6 жыл бұрын

King Vulturo love those moments

While this movie wasn't bad it wasn't that good either but fairly entertaining

Is the guy who played the narrator character in this movie also one of the guides for the American “cowboys” in The Mummy 1999?

@JThom529

Ай бұрын

Yes

That ending skit with Jon Voight character coming in, i am dying of laughter. PS: what was the original song in the "man legs of steel" part?

@bloodrunsclear

7 жыл бұрын

It's a cover of SHE'S Got Legs by ZZ Top XD

@SpeedyEric1

7 жыл бұрын

Phelous's Jon Voight mug, for some reason, reminds me of Marlon Brando from The Godfather.

i like how there were no bugs on their amazonian adventure and i like how the snake just keeps eating people even though it takes a snake days or even weeks (depending on the size of it's meal) to digest. if it's a big enough meal the snake can go without eating again for a long ass time so the fact the snake eats a human whole and then in like 4 hours eats another one is total BS, that thing woulda exploded

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

Indeed, after one human, the snake would have to digest it for weeks, and be all sleepy and reclusive. I know, I worked with snakes in a zoo.

@thientuongnguyen2564

4 ай бұрын

@imblefoot In the sequel it was established there are many giant Anacondas from consuming that "rare" flower in the Amazon, but I'm sure they thought "slasher movie with ONE snake" was the best selling point.

😂😂 what the heck man, this whole review deserves a reward, had me laughing all the way through

3:25 *laughs hysterically*

4:59 The Voight Face. Jennifer lopez's reaction shot was probably inserted later, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to stop laughing. I know I wouldn't.

1:39 I think the joke was that she was responding as if he meant, "Is it me or the jungle that makes you horny?" But that might be giving the writers too much credit, so iunno.

Phelan to this day your Paul Sarone impression cracks me up. xD

These reviews are a masterpiece

HUH. Reading the wikipedia, it seems they DID kill the snake when shooting it in the head (you can see parts of its brain flying around) and the snake that shows up at the end is... a different, bigger snake. They never even explain this, or hint at there being more than one giant snakes

@quentinkaasa47

7 жыл бұрын

Really though, it doesn't need to be spelled out for us. Both snakes are different colors.

@Mudoh415

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah, it was extremely obvious that it was a bigger and differently colored snake.

@fightingmedialounge519

4 жыл бұрын

Them looking differ could just mark of laziness.

"Anacondas aren't known for attacking people but this one does... because it was having a bad day?" Well now I just feel bad it!

"Special No Thanks: Jon Voight's legs" 🤣

I actually saw part of this in my best friend's basement when I was like seven or eight. All I remember is walking in when give the guy a tracheotomy and the snake fence getting blown up. So wish I'd known Fred from Scooby Doo was the snake back then. Would have probably resulted in me remembering more of the movie.

@prehistorichero2755

4 жыл бұрын

SnowHawk7 Or Megatron disguised as one.

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

Not just Fred, he is also Scooby. It's even funnier when you consider Owen Wilson is in this, who later played Fred in the live action Scooby movie!

@JThom529

Ай бұрын

@@SwiftNimblefootno he didn’t that was Freddie Prinze Jr

It's almost 2019 and you're still the best at mugging for the camera! EAT IT VOIGHT!

You know where you are? Your in the middle of the jungle was the best part. lol epic.

@dancepiglover

5 жыл бұрын

You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby!

In all seriousness. I really hold thisone close to my heart. It's a guilty pleasure. Though I don't mind the second one, but I think that the sequels are shit.

The snake pukes up Jon and he winks at Jenny are you kidding me lol

😆😆 I love how it made Yoshi sounds when he swallowed Voight.

Oh no, the anaconda got all wet. Now it's useless.

@AllyOJustice

7 жыл бұрын

Wish Master what's that from even?

@oren1305

7 жыл бұрын

+AllyOJustice It's a running joke from Old Man from the Good Times, 'Beauty and the Beast'.

@Hazard1007

7 жыл бұрын

Wish Master So is the river. And the boat that's in it.

@cyborgparrot1996

6 жыл бұрын

Wish Master Wheres your Avatar from?

I just referenced 'Stupid Surprised [noun]', then realized I couldn't remember where it was from and wound up back here. Why, of all things, has THAT phrase stuck in my vocabulary?

You should review Python someday. I remember having debates about my dad about which was scarier: Python or Anaconda

@SwiftNimblefoot

2 жыл бұрын

There is a Python vs Anaconda, no? Or was it a giant cobra?

I don't think Danny Trejo knows what movies he's been in.

@seanmatyas3938

4 жыл бұрын

Yes it would be funny to ask some of these actors to list all their films

"Anacondas aren't really known to attack people." Well, neither are sharks to be perfectly honest, but that didn't stop them from making "Jaws".

Well the line was "is it just ME or does the jungle make you really horny". She answers with "its definitely the jungle" I guess indicating that she is horny as well and its not just HIM. I also believe the "how can you forget about the wasp" line is a joke on Void's part making fun of her claiming this as all a setup.

My anaconda don't want none, unless you have decent films, hon.

@hebrew26commandmentspower55

7 жыл бұрын

Hazard 1007 great tune :)

@thebadger622

5 жыл бұрын

That face, *I WILL PROTECT*

I remember this being out in theaters and my brothers and their friends went to see it, but I couldn't go because I was too young so I stayed home and played Shadows of the Empire. Those were good times.

one of the things i remember best about seeing this as a kid is having no idea what to think of that stupid surprised panther.

I so loved the part with the Yoshi sound🐍🐍 Also your videos are helping me through a depression🌟

Love your content keep up the great work

Danny Trejo without a mustache!? I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD!!!!😲😣

@Tareltonlives

4 жыл бұрын

Without his mustache he's helpless

@JThom529

Ай бұрын

@@Tareltonlivestrue. If he had his moustache, he would’ve used the power of Machete to make the snake his bitch

"Asshole in one." - IGN 9/10

4:45 "Ice Cubes" is probably unfamiliar with the concept of "Bush Meat". On the other hand, boars are pigs, so I'm sure it would just taste like pork.

Saved by the Voigt...😂😂😂 Good one Phelous!😉

I still think Voight winking after being puked up was a great moment

Just for the sake of documentation, heres a link to the original piece of music that played when John Voight used his "Old man legs of steel!" in the original version of this review kzread.info/dash/bejne/o5V2zZhsYdDTl6Q.html Always loved this review Phelous!

And who’s idea was it to make Voight Venezuelan?

I ♥️ the kerri chick, she's AWESOME! Loved her in that other classic hellraiser sequel. She made that movie!

He probably put the wasp in his air tank.

@anikmonette2140

6 жыл бұрын

Extinct but not forgotten I thought this, too, but he wouldn't be able to breathe and the wasp seems too big to even fit in the air pipe thingy...

@theonlychickensama8353

5 жыл бұрын

@@anikmonette2140 agreed that and the wasp should die from the air pressure, I would assume

@s.nifrum4580

4 жыл бұрын

『The Only Chicken Sama』 But wasps can sting you even when they’re dead (their stingers still work)

3:25 DO NOT WANT! HLP MEH RITE MEOW!

At least the black guy survived.

feel like a fxk up countdown is needed for this seriously

Even though this was unprompted, but I feel like I should bring it up; The Larger snake, it would be more sluggish in its movement, so, not much of a threat. They can't scream/roar, mostly they can hiss. Anacondas can eat people, but they have to be lucky as fuck to ambush a human, but if the human is quick enough, they can outrun the damn thing, because they can only slither at 5 mph, or swim at 10 mph, and they pretty much give up when they fail the ambush. So, this movie's antagonist can only work if it was Voight the Snake Poacher, because Snakes maybe scary, but they're not fitting threats to use in movies. Poisonous snakes make more sense. So, in short: Voight should've been a crazy poacher who hijacks a documentary crew's boat and wants to hunt a rare giant Anaconda, and yes, he uses his legs of steel to murder everyone to continue his insane quest of poaching animals, after everyone dies.

I think Tommy Wiseau was inspired by Voight's acting in this movie.

Well, to be fair, it was Voight who told them what's-his-name needed medical attention, so he could have just been bullshitting to get them to go where he wanted.

Man, Phelous does a good Jon Voight impression.

I love this movie

I like the stupid surprised panther 😄

Another great video, Phelan. You should review some bootleg Pokemon cards.

@phelous

9 жыл бұрын

Sora Song phelous.com/2015/04/25/phelous/bootleg-zones/bootleg-zones-pokemon-cards/

@smb-c3po

9 жыл бұрын

Phelan Porteous Cool. When are you gonna get around to uploading it to KZread? I'm not sure why, but something possessed me to play the 2009 Ghostbusters game late last night and it's like something was possessing my PS2 controller for a bit to make Rookie moonwalk on his own. I am wearing my Ghostbusters shirt right now.

@mcclada

9 жыл бұрын

Sora Song Love the bootleg vids, and all the movie reviews I haven't seen for awhile from your site. Keep up the good work!

@smb-c3po

8 жыл бұрын

Daniel McClain I think you mean Phelan's site. I don't have a website.

@MrPrestige350

8 жыл бұрын

+Sora Song Well you better get one! SoraSong.com .org :p

3:24 STUPID SURPRISED PANTHER!!!

So Jon Voight is called... Sauron??? Be careful he might turn into a pterodactyl-man and steals your life force. :P

He's got legs! And 3:25 - Stupid Surprised Panther! (Which shouldn't be in the Amazon unless it's a black Jaguar, and btw boars aren't native to the Amazon either)

@Tareltonlives

4 жыл бұрын

It's almost certainly supposed to be a jaguar: black panther refers to both leopards and jaguars. Boars actually are an introduced invasive species in South America like they are elsewhere in the world BUT they live in Argentina, not Brazil! There are javelinas in the Amazon, but not boar.

lol I love the how he call ice cube, ice cubes XD

@handsomebrick

5 жыл бұрын

I remember when this was originally on TGWTG someone commented "his name is ice cube", and Phelous replied "s".

@gracekim25

Жыл бұрын

@@handsomebrick I love it😜

Um, didn't you see that Owen turned as Voight jumped on him? Thus landing on top of Voight instead of vice versa? Anyway, I don't see much wrong with this movie as I do with the last two horrible sequels (what were you referring to with the beginning credits?).

Anacondas only eat once a year. So, why would it need so much food in like a few days? Oh, what am i trying to do? It is Anaconda I am talking about. Silly me...XD

13:52 HOLY SHIT hahahahahahHhH

That end skit was Hilarious.. :D Lmfao

I love the RE reference in here

11:02 One of the best Phelous jokes ever. :'D

7:55 Wait, so the Anaconda is Megatron in disguise?

@Tareltonlives

4 жыл бұрын

I'm just picturing Frank Welker screeching after the director tells him to "make a snake noise"

"Anacondas aren't really known to attack people." - Phelous Same with sharks, but Jaws was made anyway. Lol

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?