People often say this, because they’re just hurt by their situation. Every situation is different, judge for yourself and don’t listen to people projecting their pain

Most married couples were an ex at one point because breakups are common. Dating is not always smooth or simple. However not all exes are worthy of reattracting.

@deezydzh

Ай бұрын

is it really truly that most married couples became exes before getting married? im curious to look into this now as it would be good to get some research stats on this

@basicinfo2022

Ай бұрын

@deezydzh this is based on my observation of modern day marriages which usually consists of dating for months or years before marriage. Marriages before 1960s happened quickly and courting a woman lasted only weeks probably. With dating becoming long term, it's bound to have rocky times.

@deezydzh

Ай бұрын

@@basicinfo2022 ah okay i see what you’re saying. If this is true then it is incredibly tough to know that today, as a man, there’s a good chance you meet a girl that you like a lot, and as you get into a relationship, you and said girl / your future wife will eventually go through rocky times and break up, one or two times (maybe more) during your years of being in bf/gf stage. Before finally getting married after “x” amount of years together. And even worse that she will probably date/sleep with someone else during your “off period” of being broken up before you both ultimately decide to get back together and make it work and thus, ultimately decide to get married. this sounds like very daunting entree with a side serving of “inevitable heartbreak” to come. And is something that I personally don’t want to sign up for as a young Modern man today observing this landscape of Modern Women. If i can be blatantly honest. 🙃🙃

@basicinfo2022

Ай бұрын

@deezydzh oftentimes, it's the modern woman that has to worry way more than the modern man. Women are wired to want safety, security, stability, and commitment because she may get pregnant with him and needs a strong protector. It's usually the men I've observed who don't value commitment or marriage. It's the men who use "breaks" to cheat in peace and then come back expecting no consequences because women have become programmed to lower their standards and wait on a man to propose.

@basicinfo2022

Ай бұрын

@deezydzh this is why I prefer courting rather than dating. The traditional way of women choosing the best suitor rather than being exclusive girlfriends for years is safer and smarter.

When they chase you so much and have so much attraction in the first few months then they pull away and say they need space. Thats when it hurts the most. When you feel like they started to get to know you and they didnt like you for you.

relationships can be simple and natural but when there is an avoidant involved, if they refuse to open up and continue avoiding any connection, then in fact a healthy relationship is impossible

@deezydzh

Ай бұрын

literally me until i realized i was a fearful (and dismissive) avoidant attachment style

@vajee5

Ай бұрын

Thank you. You’ve just described my experience with my ex husband. He broke down our connection little by little, became more and more secretive and introverted, until even casual conversation became forced. Finally he blamed me and said he no longer felt we had a marriage because we had drifted so far apart. Meanwhile I was holding on as at the edge of a cliff.😢

This will now be my new go to statement when i go through a breakup......"f*ck this car, time to get a new one!" Lol

I also always cringe when I read that.

I have walked away from a car. I will walk away from anything that I no longer see worth it for me. I been watching your channel for years and I been in a few relationships, I will never take my exes back. I burn bridges and I don't want them back

You got to take people at a time, and if a person keeps showing you that things won't get better.........get out!

people say this because they dont understand how much people can change when they do the work. its an easy way out to call something; ''universe told us, or its for a reason.'' love is working 24/7. the only factor is you and the partner, nothing else. everyone can make a relationship work, but it doesnt because ppl go for looks, yet a person is a person. looks dont change their way of loving

@oomorboo1

Ай бұрын

Love this. True. If people are truthfully wanting to change themselves they will. I like to use people that stop smoking, or ex drug addicts as an example. It is possible

Well. My ex is an ex cause she wanted space. So. That's the reason. She's an ex from this point forward until something happens.

Tip: try to look at the acoustics in the room you record your videos. There's a certain kind of reverb/echo that gives a fairly sharp sound to my ears at least. I notice this predominantly in your intro's, once in the video it doesn't bother me anymore.

Thanks for broadening my perspective. On the topic of conventional advice, what about “treat people how you want to be treated”?

@CoachCraigKenneth

Ай бұрын

Well at least that’s empathetic. You think about how you want to be treated, and if you wouldn’t like it, you don’t do it. I’m all for empathy

I am glad you both covered this. I see this quite a bit. It's a copout statement I believe. It is what it is right? lol

@michaelmich00

Ай бұрын

avoidants love it, no accountability, just say; ''it was too hard, love is easy'' no its not, never will be easy

Most of the time I see my ex in my dream. This morning also in my dream I saw that we were texting each other so much in my dream but in reality he doesn't take any action and he is silent for the past six months

Literally probably the most said and annoying thing in the comments. Its honestly people protecting their own pride and deflecting any of their own responsibilities within a situation......but yet here are those same folks trying to get that said ex back. Wtf

Do I still have a chance with my ex if I am blocked everywhere because I repeatedly asked her to work on the relationship.

3rd round of no contact. Almost 7 weeks of no contact. I miss him 😭 we didn't wish each other a happy birthday and he still has me blocked...

@michaelmich00

Ай бұрын

yea birthday was the most painful

@benjaminnielsen4288

Ай бұрын

It sucks to be blocked, and to know they went out of their way to do it. And it hurts to not hear from them on your special day. I am going through this too. Trying to let go. Makes no sense to want them when they don't want you, especially if you know they don't want you. Don't run towards pain.

@basicinfo2022

Ай бұрын

@benjaminnielsen4288 I am moving on... but I wish I didnt have to since we both did want eachother but weren't compatible for anything serious. I think he just wants to punish me for not getting his way and having me on his terms. He doesn't need to keep my blocked this long. I'm the one who told him to block me on his phone too.

@michaelmich00

Ай бұрын

@@benjaminnielsen4288 I learned one thing, dont blame yourself for their toxic behaviour of running away from problems, they get triggered because of their avoidant attachment, secure people make it work, its not they never liked you so the issue isnt looks. Its their trauma

@MDDR-io7nh

Ай бұрын

7 weeks??!! Try NC for 2 years after being together for 22 years!

I can’t determine if my ex was a avoidant or just literally scamming me financially my entire relationship and having a second life. If you look at it closely avoidant and a scammer behave nearlt the same

Has anyone done the workbook series?? What does it actually help with??

@CoachCraigKenneth

Ай бұрын

lol read the comments on my videos. There’s tons of people doing them. Anyone want to share their experience for him?

@walesz92

Ай бұрын

@@CoachCraigKenneth I'm working on them, currently on volume 3 and it does help with getting over your breakup, getting know yourself better, you'll learn how to deal with certain situations. Working on it also calms my anxiety! So I personally highly recommend it 😊

@mariethewolfdragon

Ай бұрын

I am still on the first book of the workbooks, but I already noticed that I learned a bunch. I didn't know my childhood was bad at all I thought it was normal and come to find out it was really rough. At first I thoight I was anxious because 2 weeks before the break up I was really anxious, but working through the workbook I found I was fearful avoidant and with the skype call with Craig it was clearer that I am indeed FA. I still have a lot to go through since I am still on the first workbook so I am really looking foward to what I will be learning in the other books 😊

Avoidants are emotionally constipated. “Constipated feelings” is a term I founded while in 2nd grade, in 1997. I never thought there were so many applicable situations to the phrase.

My ex needs to hear this. 🤷🏻‍♂️ js

I have kids with my ex and I don't speak to him or talk to him. He has texted me saying he miss us but he should had thought about that when he walked away. Most relationships end once it got way to bad to repair

I'm too old for this shit.

My ex reach out to me saying she miss me , she wants to see and talk to me but not to get back together I don't know why

@dougherty8732

Ай бұрын

She/him just want to have "an easy access" to your life...is like saying let us be friends"! Typical answer IMO is NO

I repair my flat tires. I change my own oil. Swapped out my brake rotors and pads. Replaces the coolant thermostat sensor. Is my ex back even though I'm trying to fix the relationship? Nope. Hakunah matata

@samex8275

17 күн бұрын

agreed

I always hated this phrase. It sounds like it was made up by an unhealed Dismissive Avoidant.

first!