What are YOUR experiences dating Germans 🇩🇪 and Americans 🇺🇸? 💕😅 Let us know in the comments! ⬇ Or, if you've ever dated someone from another country, what kinds of culture shocks did YOU have to deal with?

@Josh729J

2 жыл бұрын

My girlfriend is from Argentina and the food is next level

@therealkoolbeans

2 жыл бұрын

Love using your app to learn

@scottnoddin4372

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve heard of a few Canadian girls who moved to Germany and were surprised when they learned their men pee sitting down at home. Have you experienced the opposite? Do you complain if he leaves the toilet seat up?

@techguy943

2 жыл бұрын

Ok this guy's getting pretty cool This link is for him if he's interested kzread.info/dash/bejne/g6ycsqWOj82ciqg.html

@michaelscouten5370

2 жыл бұрын

I was stationed on Germany 3 times, for 8 years total. Never had a problem with German Women.

I married a German girl. We speak German & English at home and have raised six bicultural bilingual kinder.

@mariotron.6166

2 жыл бұрын

Hehehe siuuuu

@Lotschi

2 жыл бұрын

that‘s great!

@toribern816

2 жыл бұрын

That’s so cool! I always wish I was bilingual it makes me jealous ☺️

@MisterPyOne

2 жыл бұрын

Holy shit I read six but somehow thought in my head 3 because 6 is too much. I had to come back to this comment that it was actually 6.

@Surprise0631

2 жыл бұрын

That kinder at the end really got me 😅

My son is married to a German girl! She is the best thing to ever come into his life! I love her!

When i was in Germany, i found that if you attempted to speak German, the people were incredibly friendly, I loved my short time th8

@infactuality2454

2 жыл бұрын

Same with France

@dnocturn84

2 жыл бұрын

Sure, isn't that true everywhere?

@erkanalles7026

2 жыл бұрын

Wie sagte einst tingeltangel bob? "Wer deutsch spricht, kann kein schlechter Mensch sein" xD

@tracy3812

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve always taken a language course before traveling but rarely get to use what I’ve learned bec the people are so excited (that’s the exact word they’ve used) to speak English. We’ve always had great discussions about English slang & idioms.

@somb8434

2 жыл бұрын

@@dnocturn84 it's not true in the Netherlands. If they hear your foreign accent they will immediately talk English to you.

In a relationship with a German girl and this is spot on! Clear communication, showers of affection, zero b.s.. best relationship I’ve ever been in.

@Laters3

Жыл бұрын

Spot on brother spot on.

In Virginia, I hold the door for anyone, especially if it looks like they need it regardless of gender because for me it’s just a matter of mutual respect for people in general. Like I’m trying to show people that they are not invisible or discarded

@freidenkerin5198

Жыл бұрын

I agree and in Germany people often do that too.

@G-grandma_Army

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! People get offended over nothing these days and aren’t appreciative enough for common courtesy.

@GoaDuFF

Жыл бұрын

In Germany people do hold the door too. It is seen as you taking time out of your own life for the benefit of others. It's more about helping them to do "tasks" (such as opening a door) either "faster" or "at the same speed with added convenience". while speed > convenience in most cases ^^ Now if you slow down the process for them, just to make it more convenient, that mostly wouldn't be seen as a desireable outcome for alot of germans. Ex. "getting out of the car" (as with the car example in the video), while having to wait (wasting time). Hope i could explain the difference in the thought process behind that.

@josefineseyfarth6236

Жыл бұрын

I as a German feel like holding the door for other people - even strangers - is still more of a respect thing. Like you wouldn't necessarily hold the door for your girlfriend all the time, but rather for elderly people, a mother carrying a baby or just commonly if you hear someone approach the door. At least I do that a lot and like 90% of the people are thankful of it. So it's not a dependency thing between a man and a woman, but it's just being nice and helpful towards others.

@Maedhros0Bajar

10 ай бұрын

You mean, you pass through a door, see someone behind you and hold it open until they are there as well? I usually do so as well, releasing the door when the other person takes it over. Gender is irrelevant

You can tell Feli really likes Ben just in the way she looks at him!

@debrawhited3035

Жыл бұрын

Well, yeah! Who wouldn't!

@golden.lights.twinkle2329

Жыл бұрын

He's so lucky. I've never had a woman look at me like that.

@moeball740

Жыл бұрын

@@golden.lights.twinkle2329 Neither have I and I'm even married! My own wife doesn't give me that adoring look!

@nwolf9591

Жыл бұрын

I really agree! Her face almost glows.

@Thehubb1

Жыл бұрын

He looks at her the same way. They’re def in love.

I'm amazed to hear that a young American chap like yourself has been taught about walking on the road side when walking with a lady. Here in England, I don't think that anyone younger than me has been taught to do this (I'm 61 by the way). Protecting the lady from being splashed is absolutely what I was taught as a child.

@drh3rd

11 ай бұрын

And the historical aspect of this is before the auto... men were to walk on the inside.. to protect the lady from anyone stepping out of the shadows. Who knows...

@svenlima

10 ай бұрын

+nikoss... So you want be equal to men but you prefer men to die instead of you - has your female life a bigger value that a male's?? What kind of crooked culture is that? Are you also one of those who expect a man to give up the last seat in the lifeboat for a woman? I'm disgusted ! ! !

@rockcrawlerchurch2976

10 ай бұрын

Im an Aussie, 40 yr old. I was never taught that, it was just something i did. The ex pointed it out that i did it. I didnt to it because of water though. I did it because if a car hit me vs if a car hit her. For me its just my protective nature

@yourdashingheroidol7909

9 ай бұрын

Is that really shocking? I am in my 30's, raised here in Boston. I was taught chivalry and manners starting at an early age. It isn't the norm here, but I have buddies raised the same way and isn't uncommon to stand up and move away from your open seat, when a lady or elderly man gets onto your train car,. Offer help carrying something, holding the door or flanking street side when walking (on a sidewalk here...only roadsides are highways ) , also same as the Aussie mentioned, that one wasn't taught, just force of habit, that was self taught from childhood, because I had to walk my sister to school every morning before a buddy of mine and I linked up because he also had sister luggage,that went to the same place....then we walked to our school. Sometimes he would even have a loose Marlboro his Dad wouldn't miss. Just a couple of tough customers , on the streets, not even walking quickly. A lit Marlboro, I would also show off the cannon, as we would pass a "Bob Haas-a fighter for Boston" sign w/a black&white sun faded picture of a middle aged bald man who had run for Mayor and lost, mean mugging, in a boxing stance, with his dukes up. I would hunt for three rocks and think I was awe inspiring because I would hit Bob dead center in the dome EVERY DAY and never missed.... not any of three throws, every day for THREE YEARS, even when my friends turned and rooted against me ,every couple of months! (Still shocked this accomplishment isn't discussed in the media!) Manners and chivalry are a show of respect for the other person and also tradition! When I was a young kid and into early teens, that behavior was reinforced because it makes you feel good to show someone you like respect......or to see an older lady suddenly smile and appreciate your consideration! It's not a hard thing to try to be a decent person, and these nominal gestures are easy to offer and have the potential to make someone happy. These types of traditions deserve their place in our culture. So I think there will always be people who appreciate these behaviors. Observing them can't hurt but may help in sone small way. The thing that shocked me is when some dope of a woman, a heavyset lass that was built like a fire hydrant, and maybe on her mid to late twenties, went out of her way to call out to me, after I held a door for her. I had earbuds in, on my way to work and always hold the door for the next person, so thought nothing of it, until someone gestured to turn around. I did so, and lowered volume to point out that I .was listening to something and pointed at my ears and the dog dick red, can't nniss earbuds!This lady was red faced and breathing like she had a plastic bag " Hey, didn't you HEAR ME CALLING you"?! Wow, to lead w/that question and she informed me that she didn't need me to hold the door for her, and I should keep walking and worry about myself! I WAS walking and worrying about myself! And doors must be her specialty, because the miserable glutton couldn't catch up to a brisk walking pace and had to get others involved to waste my time! THAT was odd and shocking! I don't get it. She wasn't sone schizophrenic baglady, she was dressed like a realtor type , so I truly don't understand what she was angry about! Lol

@svenlima

9 ай бұрын

@@yourdashingheroidol7909 Having respect for people is a nice thing. But if you reduce this respect to women and leave aside men then you don't deserve any respect yourself. Why helping an elderly woman and not an elderly man? There is absolutely *no* reason to treat women different than men unless maybe if it's about physical force. When a woman is very modern you might offend her by trying to do something for her that she could do herself - like opening a door. Of course this is silly but it's how they think. In short words: Give men every favour that you would give a woman, too. And if there is only 1 seat left in the lifeboat: Take it yourself and don't give it to a woman only because she has breasts and you don't.

As an American, I hate small talk. The worst version is when I get a haircut and she asks every time “how’s your day?”, “anything fun planned today?”, “do you have any pets?”. I want to just sit there for 20 mins and get a haircut but I try not to be rude and I give longer answers instead of the one word answers like I want to. But come on, am I doing anything exciting on my Sunday after 3pm? Yea, I’m going skydiving after this then I’m going to visit Rome. How exciting can I make the real answer?, My weekend is winding down and I’ll go home,probably clean the house and make tuna noodle casserole for dinner. I need to find a German girl.

@ridinwithjake

Жыл бұрын

Lol I like your comment. Sometimes I’m the same, but sometimes I feel when I’m down or in a grumpy mood, someone else’s insistence on small talk gets me out of my shell and makes me feel a little better. Like, it’s nice to know some stranger is interested in my day.

@nate5773

Жыл бұрын

100% agree

@Blox117

Жыл бұрын

i want to give german girl my veenah shnitzel

@aldozilli1293

Жыл бұрын

I can't stand uncomfortable silences, I don't talk much but am interested in others so often try and instigate small talk to avoid the silence. It has its purpose!

@dstarling61

5 ай бұрын

Sounds like you need a German barber!

As an average retirement age American male, I don’t watch much content like this. But I am relieved to see that intelligence and good sense are, for these two at least, not lost. Thank you for the post-

On the southern gentleman topic: I'm an european woman living in the U.S. and was much like Feli, used to do things myself. Now I actually enjoy when someone opens the door for me, or offers to carry things to the car. I look at it as someone being kind and respectful and showing this through his actions. It's a kind gesture in a world that can be so cruel. It doesn't mean that I am less capable as a woman to do these exact things myself or that I am weak.

She's looks so much happier in a relationship. Plus he's super cute...lol

@zaram131

2 жыл бұрын

Super cute.

@jheyerlein

Жыл бұрын

xD My husband came by and asked "are you watching Robert Pattinson videos?" xD

@ferndog1461

Жыл бұрын

I think Feli loved the movie, Walk to Remember. The BF looks like a brother of Shane West.

@ferlou2373

Жыл бұрын

yeah‘s he’s a very good looking guy, but that earring…

@MerryMoss

3 ай бұрын

@@ferlou2373Funny how tastes can differ - I absolutely *_love_* that earring! :D It reminds me of the singer of one of my favourite bands growing up: Tears for Fears

I'm German and I'm actually super fond of gentlemen behaviour! It's very respectful in my eyes and when it comes to heavy bags for example I'm glad if I don't have to carry all alone.

Just wanted to mention that as an American, I always tell someone after the first date if I'm not feeling it. Not necessarily that night, but the next day or two. I have a strict no-ghosting policy since I really hated it when I was younger.

@noneofurbusiness5223

2 жыл бұрын

I never feel obligated after one date.

@GuyFromTheSouth

2 жыл бұрын

Thats good. I never got ghosted but I did ghost a girl when i was a kid. It wasnt serious but I still feel bad I did that to her.

@Micha-bp5om

Жыл бұрын

@@noneofurbusiness5223 true, me neither. Nor do I expect a feedback if it's negative. Might not be relevant for the next date

As a German woman who did both (ghosting and being straight forward) after a date, my personal experience is that while it's uncomfortable to tell someone that you don't want more than an acquaintance or friendship, it saves a lot of time and mental/emotional stress down the line. It also, for me, is a sign of respect for the feelings of the other person. Yes, you hurt them, but you'll hurt them way more through ghosting and keep them from moving on. I am still ashamed of myself that I ever ghosted someone/wasn't honest straight away, because this really led to emotional pain for the other person.

@wanderingpilgrim94

Жыл бұрын

@xXSingMusic4everXx I use to chat with this German girl I met here on KZread, she lived in Hamburg, we had interactions here in KZread before she gave me her number. We chatted on the app Signal, we had a really good conversation about politics both German and American. But then she must've ghosted me, because she said she was busy with school, but I wouldn't here from her for months. It was hard, it really ruined my interest in Germany, but I'm getting better though. Sorry for over sharing.

We had a couple of exchange students from Germany. They always made me laugh from their very serious and direct responses and skepticism when I was attempting to make a joke. I really miss them.

@yourdashingheroidol7909

9 ай бұрын

There was no Feli, or any gorgeous, bright and positive Bavarian princess w/great morals and sweet heart! The exchange students, we got were, M'France and M'Doine.....TWIIIIIIIINS!!!....... .....wait,....what? They were fraternal twin BROTHERS, from Haiti?! Next you will tell me that.......wait. oh, so they actually don't speak English! Hmmm. Okay, well it was nice to meet you fellas. Best of luck.., see you la....ohhhh. They are here to play the two sports that I play, and in baseball I am about to get bemche.....oh, M'Doine is taking my spot, AND I get to be attached at the hip w/them....have to show them around AND can't communicate w/them. Perfect! It sounds like a straight to dvd dart throw movie from 20004! Long story short, I'll be damned if those bastards didn't capture my heart I will member that special day for as long as there is a single grain of sand on this Earth.....somehow, will have to figure it out. Anyway, my silver flip phone buzzed in my pocket. My buddy Kenny was frantically yelling and giggling that I had to immediately get to bathroom! 38Razor was our signal that whatever was happening was the equivalent of all out nuclear war kicking off! ......he underplayed the situation! I rounded the corner into the men's room. Kenny and M'Doine were cracking up, casually leaning against the row of sinks, facing the urinals? What would they.....I turned to see a M'France smiling brightly and nodding to me as a greeting. His pants were pulled all the way down around his ankles...his Cosby sweater rolled all the way up to under his armpits, and he was hunching slightly knees bent, yet no part if him touched the urinal, yet he hovered perfectly over in a way that screamed uncanny valley.....while stacking logs into the urinal that would make any lumberjack proud! It was also odd that his beaming smile never flinched.

Ben is just such a nice guy! 🙂 Congratulations on meeting him. Simply a fundamentally good person, you can tell even from this video alone

@arneellermets

6 ай бұрын

BEN CAN JOIN THE AIR FORCE. RETIRE AFTER 20, 30, OR 40 YEARS & RECEIVE 50 % , 75 %, or 100 % of LAST PAY, for LIFE. (psychologist, dentist or veterinarian)?

I love that Germans can talk about things that matter and just ask questions❣️❣️❣️

I dated a German man and I would give him compliments- and he loved it! I also love the fact that German men are so direct! You only see players here… We are both sensitive souls so we were very good about communicating in a way that doesn’t sting in the long-run. We rarely fought. He was by far the best thing that ever happened to me. Even though we broke up due to him not wanting a long distance relationship, we will always have love for each other.

I sometimes forget English is my wife's second language because she has no accent. But when she is around German people...or has had a couple of beers...or is on pain meds...the switch is flipped and she just starts rattling on in German and won't even notice it. I can sometimes pick up a couple of words and I'll say something and then she'll realize what she's been doing. It's pretty funny to observe when it happens!

@richard--s

2 жыл бұрын

So she probably doesn't realize every time that she speaks English. It's just natural for her to speak English ...until something different happens ;-) My first language is German, but sometimes when I remember a topic, I don't necessarily know whether I heard this topic in a German or in an English KZread video for example. Maybe I remember the person and from that I realize that it must have been a video in this language ;-) Or a written article... It does not matter in which one of the both languages it is written... And I might remember many details about the article a week later, but not necessarily the language in which it was written ;-) Or like in the video example, I might remember the (online) magazine in which it was written and so I realize, that it must have been an article in this language ;-) The "method of transportation" is not important, the content of the article or video is the important thing ;-)

@greenmachine5600

2 жыл бұрын

She does have an accent. Just a different one. There is no such thing as having no accent.

@dianalombana6039

2 жыл бұрын

@@greenmachine5600 not true

@conniehellinger9934

2 жыл бұрын

yes there is an accent and different rhythm when speaking English, but perfectly understandable!

@dianalombana6039

2 жыл бұрын

@@greenmachine5600 dear, there is a difference linguisticly. Having an accent means usually that the person speaks the language fluently but you can heat that it is not their mother tongue. Whereas native speakers have dialects or idioms, you can also hear where their from within their native country, for example Southerners or Easterners and so on

My wife is of German descent and she’s seen that video with me. She was amused and agreed with all of them. I also found out right away not to get on her bad side. Bring of British descent myself we constantly joke around about our ancestors. It’s never boring, I can guarantee that

@marksauck8481

2 жыл бұрын

Do you ever bring up the Battle of Britain with her?

@voyance4elle

Жыл бұрын

That sounds fun 😄

@Laters3

Жыл бұрын

Haha 😂 ye don’t cross a German woman. My German girlfriend I run and hide but the next day it’s forgotten about then highly sexy they are

@Laters3

Жыл бұрын

@@marksauck8481 😂 yes I do when she wakes up every morning and starts talking German to me and I’m like what the hell you saying. We didn’t win the war for me to talk German to you. She thinks it’s funny tho cuz she forgets sometimes when she’s around me. Love the woman tho I will say her dad don’t like me at all but I sort of understand that cuz his dad was in the war ww2

With the earbud and the earring, Ben looks like a very cute Bajoran.

Hi - I've been watching your videos for some time know. This one really hit home for me. Currently I am married to a German (we are currently living in Wuppertal Germany) and we met in 1999 while he was studying at Berkeley U. in CA. We got together for a date - going out for dinner and a movie. He was dead tired from all the work he had to do that week. Back pack full of books, laptop, papers and who knows how many bricks for added weight. There were no seats available on the bus so as we were standing and he looked like he was about to collapse. I told him I will carry his back pack. He said no. This went back and forth for a moment or two until I told him that he was German and my family came from Poland (way back in 1880) and that his people were used to using my people as slave labor. He knew I was joking (and he knows that I am an über-liberal), but this broke the ice and he gave me his back pack so he could rest and end up having a nice weekend with me. We long distance dated for 4 years and at that time we could not legally marry in America (2003) so it was either we end it, or i leave California and live in Germany. I'm still here so I think I made the right choice. Oh yes, and my annual Thanksgiving feast has attained cult status here in Germany.

@d74055

3 ай бұрын

Greetings to the rain and the Schwebebahn.

More than learning about dating differences, one simply sees how happy you are together. Thus, I just have to love the video :)

When I in Germany go to a woman and say to her "You are beautiful. / You have beautifull eyes. / You have a beautiful smile." in the past I nearly everytime got a smile and a "Thank you" in return. So I think, that it depends on the way the man comes to the woman.

@timefliesaway999

2 жыл бұрын

It also depends if you’re genuine about it or not

About the brutal honesty thing: I worked in the music industry for several years and there's an insider thing about "German compliments". It's really common for bands from English-speaking countries who are on tour in Germany to get proper culture shock about German honesty. It's become like an inside joke and, in some ways, kind of a rite of passage if you're a touring musician. If you mention the "German compliments" thing to a British, American or Canadian musician who's toured in Germany they will be able to tell you at least one story about a funny moment of German honesty :P.

@Tobmei

2 жыл бұрын

Like do you have any anecdotes? I would love to read some examples.

@Spermwhales93

2 жыл бұрын

@@Tobmei One I heard from somebody I know went something like this: German fan: "Do you like your new album?" Musician: "Yes." German fan: "Really?"

@captainmaim

Жыл бұрын

@@Spermwhales93 OUCH

@donaldmickunas8552

Жыл бұрын

@@Spermwhales93 One possible response rather than “yes”. “Stupid question. Why would I put out an album I didn’t like.”

@jaimeduncan6167

Жыл бұрын

But are they direct or rude. In the video the woman touch him and instruct him how got change his body. On the other hand she is clearly a feminist and will not tolerate a man asking her to change her looks and touching her to that effect. So it looks like hypocritical. I know they are direct, and that is good but I don’t know. In this videos al there is a lot of German=perfect but history tell us they are far from perfect.

I'm so glad I found your videos. I just started talking to a German woman, I'm from Texas. I knew there was difference in culture and was learning but THIS is what I needed and didn't know it. She's been my more forward with her feelings towards me than any other woman. So far I agree there. We'll see about the rest I guess. She definitely knows what she wants and was the one to reach out to me. Which was another shock. I've been hit in yeah, but this was entirely different. No games straight to the point. Thanks y'all for the MUCH NEEDED information. Great job and look forward to watching more videos.

@Laters3

Жыл бұрын

How’s use getting on mate. My girlfriend is way forward and don’t care on what she says at times. Very highly sexually woman to. Like my German girlfriend on the beach one day just started flashing to me. Not a care in the world. God I love her tho. She’s truly stunningly beautiful with the most amazing heart and soul. ❤. I’d love to no how your getting on mate. Plus where in the world are you from. I’m in the Isle of Man 🇮🇲 my girlfriend is from bonn

@tomchandler7568

Жыл бұрын

How is it going on?

@holylifey7293

Жыл бұрын

@ John Smith Yeah, let us know how you're going now. It's been 6 months, I see 😁✨.

Fun to listen too. I think there's a lot to be said for the manners learned in youth that are the making of the Southern Gentleman. Good habits from a young age that you will inherently fall back on are worth keeping. From the German side, being direct (not to be confused with intrusion or cruelty) is the gold standard of relationships.

@infactuality2454

2 жыл бұрын

😀

@compukiller2

2 жыл бұрын

But even in Germany, the trouble with the "traditional manners" exist. For me (as a Southerner) , it's too natural, to keep the door open for a woman, to help her out of the jacket or to put the chair under her...

@ella9693

9 ай бұрын

⁠@@compukiller2not sure what the trouble is here. These things are all such nice habits that needs to be passed on

I totally enjoyed your video together. Watched it way later, but who cares?! 😂 You were right in almost everything, Feli, and I enjoyed every minute. And also, I agree with all the people who commented already, you guys are so wonderful together! I hope you'll cherish what you've found and be happy forever! Love from Arizona from a German married to an American. Love knows no border ❤

Being direct is so awesome. Mind reading reading between the lines having someone be passive aggressive with their communication and then angry with you because you didn't read their mind can be exhausting. In my relationships even though I wasn't raised in Germany I think spending so much time with my grandparents when someone is playing that game that has been normalized I will just ask them to be direct and tell me what they want. It is taken as uncaring even though I do it because I do care what they want.

You both seem to value deep understanding over the form and truth over the fluff - that's a good combination no matter the country of origin :D

Germans are very strong people, very honest, it’s very easy to have a conversation, highly Intelligent, kind, thy make the best life partner .❤️

@aestheticxeditzzz_duh8426

2 жыл бұрын

nawww thank you❤🥺🙏🏻

@GuyFromTheSouth

2 жыл бұрын

I feel its similar with all European people. Im a trucker I spend alot of time on discord talking to ppl from all over the world. At first I thought they were kind of rude to be honest. Europeans are very blunt about things (especially people from london and eastern europe) where in the US we aren't as blunt.

@paulohagan3309

Жыл бұрын

@@GuyFromTheSouth WellI've met one or two Americans who've been pretty blunt about how superior they feel to us ...

@projectc.j.j3310

Жыл бұрын

@@paulohagan3309 lol stop it😂 I promise it’s easier to find a European insulting Americans then the other way around. It’s weird how Europeans are bitter about the usa importance that they form a little brother or superiority complex

@paulohagan3309

Жыл бұрын

@@projectc.j.j3310 Not bitter. Not jealous of the 'American way of life at all but have the right to mention a common experience of mine regarding too many of the Americans I met.

About going as soon as you arrived. Back when I went to West Germany (1985!) as an exchange student, my host family took me to Köln that afternoon and we climbed up a church tower. I went to bed really early that night! 😄

@d74055

3 ай бұрын

If you mean the "Kölner Dom" well the only thing i remember the many stages i had to climb😂

The “wasting my time” feeling is so true. While with MarDrt at Ramstein I met a girl that I thought might be interested then it seemed like she wasn’t so I backed off. Later a friend of hers asked me why I didn’t talk to her anymore. I told her Hildi wasn’t interested. I was told she was. I was sooo confused!

@johnclement4158

2 жыл бұрын

You're in another country - things are different. Her friend knows her better than you do so take another shot.

@philquintana3576

2 жыл бұрын

That was a long time ago, the ‘70s. I did start talking to her again but I got orders back to Camp Pendleton so it never anyplace.

@uwerichter

2 жыл бұрын

This is simple a Disrespect to the other one!

Feli subtly setting the stakes: "I think you will be [fluent in German] at some point." Dude, if you can't recite the Vorrede zu "Faust" in accent-free German by Christmas, you'll be in so much trouble...

@teodoro1007

2 жыл бұрын

Until today I remember Schiller´s "die Bürgschaft" (The Pledge). 😁😁🤣🤣

@CantankerousDave

Жыл бұрын

@@teodoro1007 For me, it's the opening to Die Verwandlung.

When I was 16 I dated a German girl for a while whom I met on holiday in Spain. Wasn’t any different than others girls I’ve dated. Then again, I’m Dutch and I spoke and still speak German, and we lived pretty close together so there weren’t any barriers really :D.

I was born in Germany and lived there till I was 5, and my childhood was filled with German friends and their parents/grandparents. I never understood why I am so direct and why I take words literally and hate when things are left to interpretation! This video made me understand myself better, because I did go back to my native Bosnia and grew up there, but I always felt like the black sheep mentality and mindset-wise.

@sootheskin4022

Жыл бұрын

The good thing is that when you go back, it'll pretty much be the same. Unless you have to deal with the authorities, they will always be slightly racist (looking Chinese doesn't help)

@Lovethyself887

Жыл бұрын

@@sootheskin4022 where did you get that I am Chinese? I am white, just not German

@Micha-bp5om

Жыл бұрын

@@sootheskin4022 Chinese??

@Hyazinthenarrangement

11 ай бұрын

​@@sootheskin4022hä?

This may not have anything in common with dating Germans, but the only time I was in Germany was during a NATO exercise, while I was in the military. I was a Hospital Corpsman who was attached to a Marine Infantry unit. We had to set up a machine gun post in the middle of a traffic circle. It was in a small town in Northern Germany, with shops surrounding us. We were there for several days. One day it began to rain cats and dogs, I mean it was raining pretty hard. The women who ran the stores older and younger women alike, tried to get us to come into the stores to get out of the rain. We explained that this was our post and we were not allowed to leave it for any reason. They were not shy about giving their opinion on how the felt about that. They said those were stupid and cruel orders to follow. lol. We just explained that we had no choice in the matter, they later came out with coffee and some snacks for us because they felt sorry for us. Nice people.

@heinv.frohnau505

23 күн бұрын

LOL! In the 80s I was a taxi driver in West Berlin. One day I was standing in a very busy street at a taxi stand. And there was a military exercise being held by the Allies (at that time there was no German military allowed in West Berlin!). Anyway, it was so funny to see the soldiers crawling along the sidewalk while German civilians went shopping all around. Especially when the Allied soldiers crawled up to the traffic lights, waited for the green light, crossed the street and then immediately threw themselves down again to continue crawling. I will never forget that for the rest of my life!

Aw, come on! There's nothing wrong about dating a German. I had to ask my dad, while he was still alive about dating my mom. My mom was fairly conservative in public but in private, much different story. I was able to see it in person and yes Germans are passionate about everything and about those they love. Be ready, Ben.

Regarding what Ben was saying about "winging it" with his friends to meet up to spend time together. I just wanted to mention that I used to do this with my friends too, especially in my late teens and early 20's. However, I think it's important to point out that this is with a group that routinely hangs out, so we didn't make other plans. We were expecting to spend time together. Basically, we had this time planned out in our minds. It's just the time we met up that would vary. I guess what I'm saying is that while there was not a formal plan, there was an informal one, if for no other reason than it became habitual. I would not want to handle it the same way with someone I only see once or twice a year, for example.

i totally agree with Ben. When my son and I went to Germany for a school trip, i found that the teacher's family was very welcoming because they already saw us as part of the inner circle. Others seemed much more distant. i took German in college so my German was very rusty. while in a department store in Munich, the person working there said something to us, which i didn't quite catch all of it. my son said, "He basically just said, we are getting ready to close so make your purchase and get out." Having worked in retail while in high school, i wish this would have been acceptable when people wondered in about 30 seconds before we were supposed to close. Loved Loved Germany and Austria

Feli and Ben are a nice couple who give me hope for the future. Cheers to them making it work! Sehr gut!

As an American I wish people here were more honest and said how they feel politily but honestly. I hate ghosting and shunning.

This is what 2020 lockdown did to us: we now watch videos of people reacting to videos of people reacting to videos. And for I one welcome this new stage of human evolution. I like the new energy Ben brings when he shows up, Feli. It's cute to see the two of you together having fun and seeing more personal side to your channel! Have a great week!

@dyfustifications

Жыл бұрын

Meta-reaction? 🤔

@marye.fox-grimm6541

Жыл бұрын

Yes re the meta-video observation. Feli & Ben are far superior to other vloggers because they demonstrate such respect, sensitivity & appreciation for how they're overcoming cultural & communication roadblocks. Especially refreshing to learn about the German custom of respecting soundly-based differences of opinion on sensitive topics.

Two girl friends. I had one in northern Germany when I was living and working there, and when I was living and working in the Alps, I had one there. Both girls were from small towns, and they were very simple and easy-going, and well educated. I was only 18/19 at the time back in 1973/74. I'm still friends with them to this day. We enriched each other's lives, and we liked each other. I'm sure our relationship was as special for them as it was for me. Both girls spoke English better than I spoke German. They had an American boyfriend, and I had a German girlfriend. One was a smoker, and I was not, and her parents were smokers - so that was a real issue for me. Apart from the smoking, I really liked her parents and her sister. The family was like country bumkins - I loved it. Years later, her sister and boyfriend stayed with us about a week in California. The two girlfriends/relationships made my life and experience in Germany so much more rewarding and memorable. One big difference I encountered when I was there, was the machoness of young males my age was very different compared to the US. Young males my age also seemed more effeminate when compared to the US. The boys were definitely less aggressive and not so likely to fight. Going out to a Disco, which was common in Germany, was a bit different for me also. And teenagers drank beer. I wasn't a beer drinker. The Disco is where teens met up. When I worked on a farm in northern Germany, one night some of us workers and carpenters and lots of friends all gathered in a giant circle near a farm building that was being built. We were all poured a shot of schnapps, and we toasted to the new building which had a Christmas Tree attached to the roof peak. I'm not a drinker and I didn't know what schnapps was. But my ears sure got hot fast that night.

It's fun watching you two interact! It's obvious you enjoy each other's company!

@mina_en_suiza

Жыл бұрын

I agree: They seem to make an awesome couple. 2 really lovely people met and what's not to love about that!?

@christine9743

Жыл бұрын

Totally agree 😃

I like when my husband opens doors for me. It’s him Being a gentleman & I am not southern.❤️

From a physical security specialist: do not walk around in public with ear buds/headphones in. Don’t be looking down at your phone either. Pay attention to your world. It will buy precious time for you, when you need to react to a situation.

This was interesting and fun. Waiting for the second one of these videos now. 😊

Living over 30 years in US, I still hate small talk. I force myself, thinking the entire time what the hell is it for and when it is over😂

@asmirann3636

5 ай бұрын

Small talk is a very good thing. Germans should stop making it look like a fake and unnecessary thing. We are humans. We are social beings. Social contact keeps you mentally and psychologically sane. Small talk is a way of acknowledging the other human. Even if it is useless talk. It means that I see you and I acknowledge you. Without it, such as in German society, people behave like robots. No one acknowledges anyone. This makes people psychologically lonely and depressed. So don't blame this small but important human gesture. Just because it doesn't exist in your society, it doesn't mean that it is useless.

Oh wow, the interaction was great. I really enjoyed hearing your boyfriends view of your personality and how he experienced Germany.

Quite an enjoyable and educational video. Keep sharing your knowledge with us.

I found that this video was delightful. Thank Ben for his candor!

Each and every time I watch one of Feli's videos relating to German dating I am ever the more convinced that I live in the wrong country for dating.

@timefliesaway999

2 жыл бұрын

So you live in the USA and want to rather live in Germany to date German people?

@Laters3

Жыл бұрын

Yes you are mate.

@ccpperrett7522

Жыл бұрын

Just be forthright and honest. You will find your people.

You guys are absolutely adorable together. Ein super nettes Paar.

I really enjoyed this video! Looking forward to more like it.

What a cute video! It was so much fun watching you two play off each other. The looks between you guys are pretty obvious of how much you're into each other. Enjoy your happiness! 😁🤗

Great & fun perspective hearing how different a real relationship is dating a German. Very cute & interesting

Not a dating comment, but one summer I worked with a German couple in Africa. Oh my gosh, the organization, the insistence on punctuality… Totally different to the culture there and they got so annoyed when local people didn’t abide by the same rules. The woman also had a complete meltdown when the other two Americans there and I asked about planning something fun not on the weekly schedule last minute. We hid out with the French lady next door till the storm subsided 😂 I know this isn’t all Germans, but there’s a kernel of truth there. haha

@infactuality2454

2 жыл бұрын

😀

You both are just too cute together!! I love the vibe between you both ♥️♥️♥️♥️ I enjoyed this video a lot - as always 😊

Thank-you for mentioning the Raycons again!! Couldn't figure out what they were called. Definitely ordering!

Ben, what's more scary? Meeting Feli's parents or being dissected by the internet?

It's great to see you two creating videos in front of the camera now! I've been married for a long time now, but when I was dating, I was more like a German...direct...and it "put off" lots of people. I was okay with that because if someone couldn't handle it, then I knew that person wasn't for me. In America, it seems like Gen Z is much more direct than Millennials.

Fun video from you guys! Cross cultural, always interesting. Trying the language where you are is so important to open people up. That guy from New York, Xiaomanyc, who can speak any language is really interesting to watch on KZread.

This is great and you two are very cute together / hope to see a lot more of that going forward !

You didn't bring up how you actually met each other. Like if it was through mutual friends or at college or a dance. I met my wife through mutual friends and we went on a double date.

When I was in high school we had a German exchange student there. I worked at a grocery store at the time and he worked some with me. I’ll never forget his first day of work. Someone asked him “where’s the sherbert”? He came to me and said “chris what in the world Is sherbert?” I said “ice cream”. Nicco said “I’m never gonna get this English stuff down!” 😂. That same day he was bagging groceries for a lady and she purchased a box of German chocolate cake mix. He said”German chocolate cake? I’ve never seen this before in my life!” lol

@chrisk5651

2 жыл бұрын

The recipe originally called German’s Chocolate named for Samual German not the nationality. I grew up with the pronunciation sher-beRt with both parts rhyming.

@chris2fur401

2 жыл бұрын

@@chrisk5651 I did too with the sherbert. That’s actually what she said. When I typed it, it auto corrected

@noemichillt

2 жыл бұрын

Oh, I thought it sounds actually like „sorbet“ (watery fruit ice cream, sometimes with alcohol) but „sherbet“ is according to Wikipedia a little bit different.

@MisterPyOne

2 жыл бұрын

In germany we have a cake that is called russian "zupf"(idk what that is in english) cake which is like the best version of cheescake and it's not russian at all it's german, but they thought they would sell more if they marketed it as russian.

@chris2fur401

2 жыл бұрын

@@MisterPyOne wow. Anything with Russian in the name in the states would be viewed very negatively.

I so much enjoy your show; I just ran into your subscription. I so much enjoy the German culture and you bring to us awesome information . I have lived in Germany in the past as my parents were in the service. Thanks for all that you do and you are very good at what you do

love that u did not talk small talk spoke about life and Ben loves that about u where it was a real conversations...sweet cute!

I don't think viewing a stranger approaching you in public skeptically is just a German thing. I would think this is universal. It is common in the US. Especially in the cities

@danielzhang1916

2 жыл бұрын

yeah, I definitely glance at someone coming, especially walking at night or alone

@jKLa

2 жыл бұрын

In the US this is far from universal. In the US It really depends on whom is approaching whom, and also depends not only on how urban an area is, but how globally connected vs. provincial a city or region is, as well as what part of the country (different regional subcultures), as well as class, ethnicity, religion and politics. This is a frequent source of social and political conflict (I.E. cancel culture) as well as culture shock WITHIN the US. But in typical American fashion 🙄, we also often refuse to respect or even acknowledge these differences, or are ignorant about them, but we (mostly) tolerate those with different views on boundaries, and learn to then avoid or shun people who are different in this respect.

@jKLa

2 жыл бұрын

@@danielzhang1916 being wary of someone coming up from behind alone at night is more universal I think. But otherwise social boundaries in the US vary widely by subculture and are often a source of social and even political conflict. Parts of US culture are far more open to being truly friendly with strangers in public (outside of business contexts) but others find it unacceptable. However compared to some cultures, public criticism of strangers in the US is often asking for a literal fight (you are often at risk of getting physically assaulted) and is a complete No No!

@jKLa

2 жыл бұрын

@@danielzhang1916 also sorry if I sound presumptive as I just realized I might. I am speaking as an American but from your reply it sounds like maybe you are also? If so you likely know what I mean. However, I'm often amazed about just how ignorant and provincial USA'an often are about many fellow citizens of our own country, often assuming that their own way is normative often without any real evidence or despite much evidence to the contrary...

Ben is right about the reason for the man walking next to the street, though the custom is much older--it dates back to a time before streets were paved, when dirt and mud would get kicked up by passing horses and horse-drawn carriages (and women only wore full-length skirts or dresses, making them much more prone to getting dirty).

@tsgtfoster

2 жыл бұрын

Nice....now I don't have to make that point

You are such a great couple and I love watching you and your conversations. Open minded people at its best. Greetings from Munich. PS Dees Jahr gibs wieder a Wiesn!!

Lots of experience with German women over the years. I met a German woman who was going to be around for two weeks. I was very respectful and polite the whole time. The night before she left: "I THOUGHT I MADE IT CLEAR I WAS ATTRACTED TO YOU BUT YOU NEVER REACTED. NOW IT'S TOO LATE; I LEAVE TOMORROW." I was really taken aback. She was upset.

The "southern gentleman" aspect is most definitely a Southern culture "thing". It comes almost naturally, but if she doesn't like it, she should tell him what she expects/wants. Usually adjustments are made - and he should do as asked. That's my understanding. Very good video, and fun to see you interacting together - bouncing ideas off of each other. Great work, and I would like to see more videos like this.

@TheLongtimelistener

9 ай бұрын

Not just a Southern thing. I was taught all that growing up in Chicago, including walking on the street side. Some women like, or even expect to be treated that way; some others, mostly younger ones, may actually feel offended. I've had to relearn a lot about cultural conventions in the last few decade.

I remember when I was complaining to my daughter about someone who didn't get back to me...ever. She said, "You've been Caspered". I said, "What, I don't get it". She then explained 'ghosting' to me. I told her that my older generation doesn't do that.

This was such a cute video. I wish you both much happiness together

Ihr seid so süß und lieb! Ich wünsche euch alles Gute in der Zukunft! Begeistert bin wie offen redet ihr über die Beziehungen 🙂

I think apart from the aspect of being more suspicious of strangers, it's also a German thing to somehow feel embarrassed by compliments... either because of the attention or also because we're afraid of them not being meant honestly, or of ulterior motives behind the compliment

When Ben was in Germany with your family, Feli, did you have issues with communication? Specifically, did you have to try to avoid just speaking in German all the time with family so that he could participate in the conversations? Hopefully this question makes sense lol.

@Lotschi

2 жыл бұрын

That‘s a good question. My dad is in a relationship with an english-speaking woman so when she‘s around we speak english. Sometimes we forget it and speak German together but it‘s not a problem.

Awesome video. You guys ate great together. You mutual respect and attraction is visible.

So much truth in this video! Thank you! The more I see of Ben, the better I like him. 😎

I'm an American who moved from Ukraine (7 years) to Germany (7 years). Those two cultures (including gender relations) are Venus and Mars. The U.S. is in the middle. Regarding small talk vs. more serious topics, I don't know if this explanation is correct, but some will say that Americans avoid topics like politics because of (a) the great diversity among people in a country of immigrants with big regional and urban vs. rural differences and (b) the fact that your interlocutor might be carrying a gun. Also, a disagreement between friends or family might result in the end of the relationship, especially currently.

Hi Feli, love this video. Yes there are differences in cultures between the US and Germany and all other countries for that matter. I love to hear about other countries and their cultures because sometimes you can get a good laugh out of them.

I loved this video! Keep us gifting with amazing content plsss

Re: "Chivalry" and holding doors and the like, that has to do with gender norms and social norms, and that varies heavily depending on the person. If you're older, more socially conservative/religious, or from a more socially conservative area like The South, you're more likely to have grown up with a different understanding of gender norms and gender stereotypes. You know, the book "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" was released in 1992, not *that* long ago, and the basic premise of the book was to reinforce the notion that men and women are fundamentally different (but if you learn how "the other side" communicates, it can help reduce arguments). Another example of this is the thing where then-Vice President Mike Pence stated he, as a rule, is never alone with a woman in a room, other than his wife. That's seen a bit strangely today, but it's understandable if you understand how gender norms and social norms of his time worked, how "consent" was sort of implied by where a woman was and who she was with: if you're going into a dude's hotel room at night with just you and the dude, it's assumed that you're at least open to sex, etc etc. Obviously, things are different now and much more explicit, but back then a lot of it was in a way based on location rather than necessarily words. Hence why Pence is never alone with a woman, as a way of signaling that he'd never be open to sex with anyone other than his wife. Your boyfriend grew up in the South and was sort of exposed to this older set of gender norms and stereotypes, but he's also young enough and probably on social media enough to have understood the new way things work, so he's a sort of bridge between new and old.

@timefliesaway999

2 жыл бұрын

Just treat every gender equally, then all the gender/social norms won’t matter anymore

A Southern gentleman might be insistent on being "polite" as he's taught to be. Also, some of us Americans do actually walk. I even have a rolling grocery bag that I use to walk to shop.

@mirajolinardiaglionis399

2 жыл бұрын

Hey John Labus, these rolling grocery bags are very popular in Germany. They are named Hackenporsche = Heel Porsche! Greetings from north Germany 🏖️☀️

@Glittersword

2 жыл бұрын

It might also be that when on a date you might be in what you would consider "Your Best Behavior". Formal mode.

@hajotge12

8 ай бұрын

It may be a generational thing too. I am German (but 2 decades older than Feli) and learned things like, "the man walks on the street side of the side walk" (with the exact same explanation), "When you drive/walk somebody home you always wait until they opened the door and go in before you leave" (reasoning: Then you know they are safe) and such little things. And, as @mirajolinardiaglionis399 said, a "Hackenporsche" is a thing in Germany. If you want to see try an image search for "Hackenporsche"

Fun to watch. I lived in Germany in the early 1980s. Was impressed how orderly the Germans are. Loved so many aspects about the country and people. And so fun seeing couples holding hands. Says a lot about the couple and how close they really are.

the thing about opening doors for the other in germany. i dont think it happens in relationships or with friends but if 2 strangers go to e.g. the city hall and get to the door at the same time, the one that grabs the door usually lets the other through first. never experienced that situation any different, and had quite a lot of them

Good for you Ben, you already learned the most important lesson: "If momma/Feli ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." 😁

He seems lovely!!! He has a lot of knowledge and is sensitive and wears an earring and also he is very handsome 😍 how wonderful!

I was fortunate enough to have 10:32 been raised in Munich (Amisiedlung Perlacher Forst) and just love the insights and humor in your content! Have you ever been to the American housing areas?? I remember how much interest soccer stars of the time (Franz Beckenbauer er all) took in our American football practices and games. Miss München so much!

First off, I'm old enough to be your grandfather(dang), not a Southern gentleman, born& raised North of the M/D line, but was raised to have good manners and be polite. Maybe in my case it was a generational thing. Opening doors, assisting with seating a lady at table, offering a hand getting out of a car, stuff like that is just what we did. It was all done out of respect. Gets me thinking, when did things change.

@uliwehner

2 жыл бұрын

the way i treat this is that i am courteous to everybody. I will hold the door for men or women, even at the gym where i know that they can definitely do it themselves. And if someone holds the door for me i say thank you. there are many courteous women out there. still getting used to people calling me sir, then again i am almost 60.... prefer Sir to Bro....

@georgeemeny6123

2 жыл бұрын

@@uliwehner Right on, Sir/Bro/Dude. LOL

My mother recently passed, and in my eulogy I said that being born with German heritage is both a blessing and a curse. Being direct can sometimes be a shock to most, but it has always worked for me, and I am third generation American. I should add that my mother had what is known as FIM disease. FIM, Foot In Mouth. She was that direct. Well done.

@MICKEYISLOWD

Жыл бұрын

There is nowhere more FIM than in Manchester England. They say exactly how it is with brutal honesty no matter the subject matter. If you even attempt to soften the edges about something or get caught bending the truth then you get called out immediately no matter your social standing. It isn't the same all over the country but I know it stems from the history of poverty which can be seen as almost arrogant yet it really isn't. For this reason you simply can cast a net over an entire population and then add a context to all when a class system deeply divides people into certain groups.

I enjoy the 2 person dynamic you both bring to the channel. I enjoy your channel not only for the facts but the feeling of nostalgia I have for when I had several classmates from overseas in college and enjoyed listening to their experiences in America vs. home, and Ben is now adding to it. I hope you keep doing videos where Ben counter reacts to your reactions.

Both of you are very intelligent. I’m especially impressed with your boyfriend being so intelligent as well. Throw off my stereotype about American youth. The fact that he graduated from journalism does prove something. A comment about walking: I used to do the same thing by driving 3 minutes to the library from my home. But after I came back from Europe, I took the initiative to walk to the library for five minutes and come back up hill by walking another 8 minutes to get home. I feel so much better about my change. This is what “normal” should be!

German dating sounds easier actually lol. Dating here is exhausting sometimes. Too much guess work, mixed signals, and feeling you have to be a certain type of person.

I have never dated a German but my first exposure to Germans was a couple (she was from Goslar) who moved across the street from us (Summit, NJ). I found them a bit standoffish at first but, after a while we became great friends. They even came to visit me in hospital after I had brain surgery back in 2018. Wonderful, loving people. They have since moved to Barcelona but we still stay in touch regularly.

That was so fun and cute ! Loved it !

Feli, you got a good dude! Cool to see this coupling. BTW I open doors for ,literally anyone, it is nice to have them opened for me,too (being a long haired dude).

Haven't had a real relationship yet, but I met a girl and the 2nd time we met we had a lot of trust in each other and talked about very personal stuff we don't talk with anyone about. I like her a lot but I don't know if she likes me like I like her. At a minimum I'm a very good friend. (we are both german btw.) and we were always brutally honest. Update: she definitely likes me back holy shit Update 2: We are a couple now and she had a huge crush on me since the first time we met, she is so damn hot. Update 3: She broke up with me, I miss her a lot, things just went way to quick.

@valyusha98

2 жыл бұрын

Good for you!!!!