I’m so grateful you have said this! I kept thinking I was the only one.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome...and you're definitely not the only one.

12:23 This. It's ironic how a community preaching so much about acceptance of things outside the "norm", i.e. neurodivergence, can't accept differences of opinion or preference. Why is a community of people who by definition don't usually fit in trying to make everyone among us fit in? It makes no sense

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

I agree. From people who have potentially been bullied, and outcast for being different...then bully others and outcast them for being different. Never-ending cycle!

Self diagnosis is helping me get a formal diagnosis. Self diagnosis is helping me understand myself and working to not mask. My husband suggested autism as the root of my meltdowns/shutdowns and I'm looking at getting a formal diagnosis as an adult.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Good luck, hope it helps 👍🏻

Howdy Paul. First off you have created a great community of 923 and growing! Second I agree with your sentiments reqarding other communities. It is really like that all over the place. People believing opinions are facts and facts don't matter. I felt completely alone for a huge part of my life. Your channel was the first I found that I could wrap my head around. It is weird that others who are "actually autistic" will ostracize fellow autistics with differing opinions. A community of people who feel they don't fit making people feel they don't fit in. Crazy! Again, a great series!

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Bryan, I appreciate it. The amount of subscribers blows my mind as I just thought I'd be the only subscriber, and would watch them back to see how I was feeling at the time! A few creators have left KZread due to a change in monetisation, which to me just shows the reason they came! Not genuine reasons. I'm glad you enjoyed it, maybe if a good few topics come my way from others, I can do a season two 😂

In the one year I've been diagnosed (at 50) I've found a lot of these autistic 'communities' have a very narrow viewpoint, usually born out of the 'woke' doctrine. Interestingly, among the masses of people who have an autistic KZread channel the vast majority tend to be women, of a certain age, who have a particular moralistic viewpoint. There seems to be more of an effort by these people to police language and thoughts, rather than many issues faced everyday by autistic folk, such as maintaining employment. Sadly, this control of language and opinion is heavily linked with identity politics, often spouted by middle class pseudo academics, who have little in common with my everyday issues like paying the bills. Therefore, I have quickly learnt to distance myself from these people.

@AdultwithAutism

Жыл бұрын

Couldn't agree more. People are arguing over how many candles to put on a cake...whereas I am still wondering who is going to bake it! We need solid foundations before we mess about with the final touches, but it just shows how easy some people have it...and good for them. But, we don't all have a simple path to walk, so we need to put focus where it's required.

@damescholar

8 ай бұрын

I am a female and 64 years old, and I am also intimidated by the 20-30-year-olds that have been lately diagnosed and think that they represent all the adult autists. Some of then are very strict about others using the right terminology and holding correct opinions. Some time ago I ”blundered” in speaking, being quite confused and agitated when I had to defend in a panel the opinion that there should be much more information about autism so that there would be no talk about autism being overdiagnosed or people just faking it. It appears that I used the word ”illness” in a hurry and afterwards a young activist scolded me about using that word about autism because it is not an illness but a type of neurodiversity. I know that very well, but I am not at my best in a public conversation, and I was puzzled because he did not say anything about the content of my talk,, only about my using that horrible, horrible word. This makes me so sad.

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

@damescholar unfortunately some people are so focused on their narrative, they ignore everyone and their mindsets. It's hard for us when other people who portray to be Autistic, actually attack the worst

I could write a book on this but I’ll just say that the groups aren’t for me either. They have their own agenda and I cannot always confirm to it so I am outed. Even though we may feel like we don’t belong or aren’t accepted anywhere there is a subset of us that is probably larger than we know so we definitely aren’t alone. 💙

@AdultwithAutism

Жыл бұрын

I hear you Melissa. There is the feel of 'we are inclusive of everyone unless you don't conform...then we exclude you so we can appear inclusive by pretending you don't exist'.

@melissa23347

Жыл бұрын

💯

@good4gaby

3 ай бұрын

If you don’t know what Intersectionality is, you can look it up. It’s pretty interesting.

@good4gaby

3 ай бұрын

Life isn’t fair it sucks

This is why I'm so apprehensive about talking about autism or trying to find people that I can level with...because it's probably not gonna happen. You are literally the only person making videos about this topic that I feel is really worth listening to because you are grounded and reasonable. Really been turned off by the way autism is portrayed in the media and by the majority of the "communities" on social media - totally ignore it all for the most part now because it's well...depressing! Thanks for the 30 min waffle - look forward to listening to more.

@AdultwithAutism

9 ай бұрын

Finding people who relate to your version of Autism is like finding the needle in the haystack, even more so in day to day life.

I bingewatched almost all your videos by now I guess. Somehow I can relate to your opinions and your experiences alot. It's like having a conversation with a friend, cause I always comment your sentences in my mind. Btw I experienced the same with autistic groups online, as well as with the few I met in real life. Once I got to know one randomly in the university when I didn't know I was autistic too and I remember quite well how much I felt that this guy is a pure black/white thinker, I disliked him. Of course that's just one situation, but somehow I experienced the same thinking-style in the online communities. I feel not belonging into grouped settings anywhere, but I'm so lucky to have a wonderful girlfriend and know her friends as well - they're all settled and grounded people, they're friendly folks and interesting people as well. I'm so happy to be with her, she is beautiful from the inside and the outside. Since I don't have a family or relatives anymore, she and her friends are my family really. Before that I felt really not belonging anywhere socially.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you feel that way about the videos, that is exactly how I want the to come across. And it's really nice to hear about your girlfriend too and what she brings you in the form of calm and peace. Anyone that can distract the chaos is worth their weight in gold 👍🏻

Yes. I have decided that I like the term Asperger's and Aspie because the specifics of that diagnosis define me well. I have autism, had no speech delay, and have an above average IQ. That's the classic Asperger's diagnosis. The "autism community" would like to ban the use of that term. But I disagree. I like it.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

And if it works for you, and you use it with no ill will to others, then so be it. It was the chosen term until a certain point. Things will always change, but the meaning shouldn't be given to you by those who don't know you, it should be how you give it to others from your perspective.

You are building your own community here and I am sure many would agree that it's a safe place. I always had problems leaving comments (usually I wrote a comment and deleted it before pressing the send button), but that changes now in the good direction thanks to you and your channel. Instagram communities are tricky, there are too many of them with similar agendas so they compete rather than cooperate, but there are good accounts there. I had a neighbour with a blue puzzle piece sticker on their car with "autistic child onboard" or something like this, and that was before I knew anything about autism and up until early last year I had no idea about the autism infinity symbol.. Out of curiosity, I have googled "infinity symbol meaning" now and I had to scroll a lot before autism was mentioned - couples, spiritual or even yoga infinity symbol meaning popped up higher in the search. However when I googled puzzle piece meaning, immediately it was linked with autism and no surprise, how it shouldn't be used.. but at least if someone would see the puzzle and search what it means then would actually get an answer that it's autism symbol.. KZread recommended to me lately a video of some small channel and the tumbnail had the puzzle piece colourful and the person on it, actually the first video about his autism. When I looked at the comments section, someone pointed out something about the symbols.. inevitable..

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

True. People for the most part are good here, and even challenge and an entirely different opinion is fine. The only things I delete are just plain insults as they're pointless. There is a culture of 'Dictate, not educate' on Instagram, I just feel for people who want a safe place to belong and still feel outcast due to this.

I posted a picture of my new tattoo of a puzzle piece. I like the symbolism. I was attacked by autism moms who are not autistic themselves. Belittled me. Told me how wrong I was. I eventually deleted all my social media but KZread account. I still prefer the puzzle piece, the infinity symbol doesn't make sense. A single puzzle piece means that I cannot fit in so I am a lone puzzle piece. When you see more of different colors, that is us finding community.

@AdultwithAutism

7 ай бұрын

You do your thing. If it makes sense to you, then that's all that matters. There is a great irony at people trying to 'own' Autism and focus solely via their closed perspective. How will people ever learn if we don't share?

You fit into the "community" of people who follow you and love your videos. You made your own plave and people came into it. 😊 I love the infinity symbol, BUT I don't see anything infinit about ASD... Infinitely left out of ASD community I suppose. I like the puzzle peice because I'm simple I love puzzels. I saw a truck covered in different coloes puzzel pieces and I was delighted! I was actually on my way to part of my assessment. And they explained to me that it actually represents ASD and I was thrilled me that! I hate that people label blue as sad. So people get sad when thwy see the blue sky? Blue used to be the color for girls actually. They aren't all accurate because people lie and are fallible. I looked into it because I ran into a video about traits in kids and it was like wacthing myself as a kid and it made me cry. But i started researching the hell out of it. It runs in my family. My little brothwr has it. But i didn't know much about it. It all makes sense i fit the bill. BUT my opinion isnt gokd enough for me. However, also having someone who isnt autistic telling me if i am or not is silly to me too. But i want that paper. I need to be 100% sure. I wish I could heart your videos thumbs up isn't enough. They are spot on!

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

Thank you. It is important for an individual difference, we don't all follow the narrative of what outspoken Autistics demand of us. Do what you want. If others have a problem with that, then they are the problem.

What a reasonable man. I agree with every word.Thankyou.

@AdultwithAutism

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Graham, appreciated 👍🏻

YES! To all of it! People are wild. Like everything is offensive and it seems like a literal crime to disagree with someone. Oof. I’m actually currently self-diagnosed and seeking a medical one. But I definitely have seen people take bits and pieces of what it means to be autistic and I always get “well everyone’s a bit autistic” or something like you described where they now think they might be autistic for ridiculous reasons. I looked into this for 3 years before I told anyone and it’s hard because I don’t have an official diagnosis yet. I totally understand it’s natural to have doubt about self-diagnoses and same as it can be harmful and untrue to say “believe all victims”, not every individual identifying as autistic is actually autistic. I’ve excluded multiple other possibilities like having ptsd in combo with sensory processing disorder, etc. and after talking to my family and looking at videos of me as a child (and recalling memories of early struggles prior to learning to mask), I finally realized this is it. Maybe I could stack 10 different disorders to explain things but the law of parsimony says that the simplest explanation is more likely to be the correct one. I definitely wanted to be thorough and not claim a label that isn’t mine. Thank you for speaking out on the ridiculousness of people needing everyone else to use the language they prefer rather than what each individual chooses for themselves. Sorry you’ve had these terrible experiences!

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the positive message Alysha! It certainly isn't my place to say who is and who isn't Autstic from self study, but it is my right to disagree that self diagnosis is 100% valid without being given the opportunity to raise questions. It's been an usual experience for people to attempt to bully me for not conforming or following their narrative. You'd think Autstic people would understand how it feels to be different and be more understanding. Unfortunately, not the case for me. But I'm certain there are reasonable communities out there. Thanks for reaching out 👍🏻

All brilliant points Paul, I myself think the puzzle piece is perfect, I have always seen it as a symbol that we don’t fit in to the jigsaws picture symbolising that we don’t naturally fit into society, I must admit that I did not realise that it was to symbolise that people find us puzzling. Every day’s a school day 😂

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Haha, a perfect example that it is there to be interpreted and not to have the meaning dictated 👍🏻

@Teasy_32

2 ай бұрын

Really, I didn't think of those two explanations. To me the puzzle part seems to be an appreciative logo: we fit - like a joker - everywhere, where diversity and being colourful is welcome.😊 And I prefer it to the eternity sign too.

26:53 😔 Wow I’m sorry you had to experience that. People in general are more aggressive and divisive than ever so it makes sense that it would be found among people with autism/autistic people as well. Your video made me stop and take a moment to appreciate the fact that I have a community (unrelated to autism) which has been very good for me. I can’t imagine how cold and lonely it would be to feel like you don’t fit in anywhere. Thank you for all the videos this week, and do keep smiling!

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

It is a shame, but at least I tried. I'm glad you have a community that works for you, it is good when we get that in life. And you're welcome for the videos, I am thankful you watch.

I like your candor and logic.It’s fine to have different opinions and points of view. An old saying “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” This shows that forcing agreement is unhelpful.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Nancy, and couldn't agree more. We need different perspectives to find better solutions.

No groups at all for me since ever. It's already difficult having two people with slightly different opinions to find a compromise. How on earth should that work the more they become? So you confirm my gut feeling. The world needs more appreciation or at least respect, acceptance. Thank you for your open words and reflecting your thought detailed and give it your voice. All the best to Manchester from the lower rhine in Germany.

I haven't gone as far as to try to engage with any online autistic community yet. What you've said here has helped me realize why I've been so cautious about it and why I will continue to just observe for now. I do watch a variety of youtubers speaking on autism and lived experience and that is really the extent of my need for community, for now. The content has been incredibly helpful for me, yours included. Naturally there have been times while watching your content that you've shared opinions that have clashed with mine, however I have far more appreciation for your approach to having opinions in general than I've ever let those personal difference bother me, and that feels like a point of growth for me because I've not been above shutting down in the past when faced with opposing opinions. It's far more freeing to know that going against the grain is ok here if and when that occurs. For me the atmosphere reads as one where those differences could actually be discussed and not immediately stifled. If you're the "black sheep" of the autistic community online then I prefer it here despite how much our opinions may clash. Thank you for shedding light on this particular dark side of things and a huge thank you for a welcoming environment I feel safe to exist in without needing to match up with.

@AdultwithAutism

11 күн бұрын

Opinions are more than allowed to clash. The problem comes when people can't accept that...my emails are a testament to that unfortunately 👍🏻

I agree with what you said. Autistic people shouldn’t be forced to share the same opinion or beliefs!

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Absolutely. It's a difference, not a dictatorship 👍🏻

I am thinking about starting my own KZread channel and I would love to have a live chat with you. I'm a 29 year old woman. Discovered my autism last year. I get it if I'm too much of a nobody to consider talking to though. Lol. But I was totally into all the community BS at first, and have been realizing it's WAY too strict and alienating! Which is why I'd like to do a podcast or KZread channel too, to kind of have a voice similar to yours.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

No worries, we can sort that. Be good to talk the perspectives. Send me an email 👍🏻

@RatsPicklesandMusic

2 жыл бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism Would love to!

I just seperated myself from the community because of almost all the things you said , i was mostly on reddit which already not the best place lol but its not only the autism community its alot of other communities having this problem. I feel like i dont belong anywhere. im female,black and i have aspergers. I never felt like i belonged around other girls because as a kid i still wanted to play and not just sit there and talk about whos susie dating.I dont feel like i belong around other black people because i was never into what most black people like , and i never feel like i belong around people my age i dont really watch tv or whatever new.And people who are like me (female nerds) i always have to to worry coming up to the wrong person and saying the wrong thing that might offend them. Thank you for making this video 😊

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

It's crazy how people decide to separate others. It's simple for me, if you're an idiot...that tells me all I need to know 👍🏻

You are so... sensible. I'm not autistic (and just fyi, I wrote "don't have autism" and then went and reworded it because I've been trained to do so!) but I have ADHD. I really don't understand the person first or vice versa language thing. It's almost nonsensical to me. We're saying the same thing! Do I have a name, or am I named E? I'm totally with you on that, although I felt a twinge of panic when I heard you say "with autism", immediately alarm bells went off in my mind "uh-oh, he's gonna get in trouble!" and then I realized what the name of your channel is. 🤣 I'm married to a (self-diagnosed, seeking official diagnosis now) man who's finally coming around to seeing autism in himself at 48 years old. I've suspected and tried to bring it to his attention gently for about 5 years, but he's someone who needs to come around to ideas in his own time. Meanwhile, I've been part of many groups trying to get a handle on how to communicate, and yes, to figure out what is going on. He is extremely confusing for me. I myself only got diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s, so we're wading in a lot of strange water over here, trying to relearn coping strategies and everything, while parenting ND kids at the same time. Well, I've been kicked out of 2 groups, and left many more of my own accord. The group people are scary! So much rule-making, and if you should question anything, BAM you're a bad person. Even accidental "discrimination" is very harshly dealt with. You see someone trying to find a way to make it okay that her husband ignored her birthday for most of the day, yelled at her, and then went to bed. She's asking "maybe he was feeling pressured because of expectations?" and she's verbally disemboweled for not making her birthday a day of comforting him because he might not know what to do for her. Yikes. She's his wife, not his babysitter. You feel so safe. Just talking, and if someone doesn't agree with you, you push back, but not in a scary way. I appreciate that, and I'm glad I found your channel!

@AdultwithAutism

7 ай бұрын

I'm glad you found the channel too. So many people have point blank refused to watch my channel due to the fact it says 'adult WITH autism'...I know this because they email telling me so. It's unfortunate they've never stuck around to hear alternative perspectives, but I don't do well being dictated to. We are all able to be at blame...even Autistic people (shock horror!). Again there is a section of Autistic people who feel so hard done by that they are ready to attack rather than listen. But, people will be human! And humans are rubbish sometimes! Me included 👍🏻

I think I'm going to dig out my puzzle piece necklace and wear it next to my infinity symbol necklace.

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

Haha, I like your style

Relatively new to FB, pleased to find someone with a different perspective than everything else FB has recommended to me. 🖖p.s. love blue, hate having been told by world (& particularly Marketing & Product Design twats) that I must like all shades of a "for female" colour & often never given the option to choose otherwise... No feck' pockets either. Some even "just for appearance " or stitched shut to "preserve the line of the garment" oops.. off on tangent rant; again .😬😳

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

I've got 2 pink polo shirts...guess I should give them to women if that's how it works! 👍🏻

I love your videos so much , i literally could sit and listen to you all day. I'm so glad i found you. 😊 You make so much since and shine light on so much for me...💙 Appreciate it!!! Your awesome 💯

I've had a similar reaction to the types of communities you discuss. My take is that people are used to masking in order to fit in, and this is just a different kind of masking. Somewhere down the road will they realize this and regret the wasted time, stress, etc? Just as I regret the wasted effort of trying to fit in and when I don't former "friends" disappear. I'm learning how not to mask, or learning how to choose when to mask if that seems needed in a given situation. I'm not about to do it to join yet another "community." And what of the people who heavily police others? I object to this in any setting. As a late-diagnosed autistic person, I've been policed enough! Do those who police others have a particular personality type? Is it some kind of denial/fear? Power motive? All of these? Since no one is ever 100% right, your framing of this as differences in opinion gives room for nuance, growth, etc. Thanks.

@AdultwithAutism

11 ай бұрын

I have theories about the people who police communities, such as the ones who refuse to accept people like me, but I will reserve that for another time! But let's just say I'm sceptical about their Autism.

Hi Paul, I appreciate your perspective. Next time you have a puzzle-piecing nay-sayer you should provide them with a brief history lesson: The Métis people have used an infinity flag since the Battle of Seven Oaks in 1816. This predates the current flag of Canada by over 150 years and is the oldest patriotic flag indigenous to Canada. Appropriating indigenous culture and history isn't something 'they' intend to do, right?! Roast 'em a bit - because my people haven't had a puzzle piece on our flag for the last 211 years...

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

How interesting. But good point though, as I get told how I'm ableist, and how it oppresses Autistic people etc...forgetting I'm Autistic and I don't feel oppressed by a flag. But, I'm also older with real life concerns to deal with. I wish all I had as concerns was not liking a flag. It would show I'm doing alright 👍🏻

My very witty and graciously poignant comment was instantaneously eaten by KZread. Alas.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

YT is getting hungry these days eating comments. Not sure why I can't just regulate them.

Irony upon irony upon irony .... but that's the world we live in now. Keep keeping it real Mister! 👍

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

I'll give it a shot 👍🏻

I remember getting into the Actually Autistic community and Autism self-advocacy. I was bullied by a lot of "activists" because I was comforted by a police officer during a depressive episode. I was hounded by them and I was told that my experience didn't matter, that I'm asking for attention, or that he was just a guy in a costume and not a real cop. They thought I was being a racist by saying that, but I wasn't. I felt lonely that my depression and my experience was seen as invalid. When I told other people about it, I was told that I was being "dramatic" and it "wasn't that bad".

@AdultwithAutism

3 ай бұрын

It is because it is a constant validation experiment. The problem is, a lot of people in those types of communities haven't been anywhere or done anything of merit, so when someone shows up with real traumas and experiences, no one can relate...and it shows that the things they discuss are of not much substance. Don't let their naive ways sully the fact things happened to you that were not positive 👍🏻

Thank you. I am so happy I found you.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you're here 👍🏻

I really enjoyed this video. I think I have similar ideas and opinions, but also slightly different to make it interesting...I'd do a podcast with you, but I have never done one. Have you?

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you. I've got a podcast, and started the podcast before I moved to do videos. I'm looking to more podcasts in the future over similar topics with others for their experiences, drop me an email 👍🏻

I always avoid using any type of indicator of my diagnosis beyond my username on Tumblr, no puzzle pieces, no infinity symbols, no flags. That being said I do sometimes use the actuallyautistic tag on there and in particular for the past two years I make posts in the weeks leading up to a time change to give yourself extra space to be stressed out because your circadian rhythm is going to be off and it will cause persistent sourceless stress for a time. In the interest of reaching the largest amount of people I always include aspergers as well in the tags and without fail there is always at least one if not ten people jumping to "own" me by correcting me and educating me that aspergers was a nazi and we don't go by that term. I always politely reply that I included it because while the times change and diagnostics and terminology change generations of individuals who were diagnosed in the past still likely use those terms and identify with them and while the term is dated my post was made to reach the largest audience possible, not exclude others. I never get replies to those responses, thankfully, and I wouldn't want to go down a rabbithole knowing how set in their ways autistic people can be, especially when they focus their personality around a humanitarian hero complex. As I mentioned, I have a group of all adult-diagnosed autistic folks through my psychologist I keep in contact with and go to events with. Never once has anyone tried alienating people based on what they feel as representative or acceptable to them. There's an insidious superhero complex that comes about online I feel. I honestly can't say whether it is a symptom of being older and getting diagnosed late or just the fact that we don't have that anonymity seeing each other in person but in my small circle at least it is good. But I do not participate in a single online community for autism otherwise. Every single one I've joined I've just felt overwhelmed with the vitriolic need to be the holier-than-thou. I sincerely wonder how many actually are autistic and how many are acting out because they lack that same agency in their real life but online they have more power to voice their opinions and proclaim opinion, sometimes well informed, sometimes just repeating others', as indisputable truth.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Well put Remy. I also wonder how many of these people are actually Autistic. And there is a bit of a hero vibe now you mention it, swooping in to save the day for people who didn't asked to be saved. There is definitely a generational difference which is the biggest divide, and it isn't older people who have created it. And of course, not all younger people respond this way, but the ones most vocal against me have a highly identifiable set of markers that are very predictable. For later diagnosed people, we share something very fundamental for psychological development, and that is that we have suffered adversity in order to establish boundaries. This is huge. We weren't given them, prepared for them, or a pre warning we might face them. We had to learn fire was hot by walking through it. On a very personal note, this is something I've found through people I've spoken to since starting this channel.

I am not even autistic, but I think someone I know is. Not even know if that person knows, so I try to figure out as much as I can. Because I like that person, and I do not dare to ask it. I don't want to hurt that person, but I care.

@AdultwithAutism

9 ай бұрын

Life just needs calm over chaos, regardless. If Autistic design of living benefits people with or without Autism, the design is all that matters 👍🏻

@panthera50

4 ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism I made a BIG mistake: I told him. I think he is f8Cking mad at me now. 😞

Once again Paul another great video. I agree with so much of what you say on this video and on your others, and I have watched most of them by now. I would guess that a lot more people connect with you than you realise. If I am anything to go by then I connect with you very strongly in many ways but I just haven't commented until now for a few different reasons. I think that YOu Tube is by far the best platform for sharing content on the topic of Autism that I have found as it allows enough time to go into some depth on any topic. I have a facebook profile where I have joined all the Autism related pages and groups but browsing those always leaves me feeling negative and wound up. I don't really do twitter but I would imagine that is even worse from the sounds of some of the things you have said about some parts of the community. Those people sound like complete pricks, don't worry about them. I'm sure that a much better community could gather around the ideas of people like yourself. People that talk sense about the things that matter in ways that make sense. I know you will say that you dont care about reaching 1000 subscribers which will happen very soon as i have been watching your numbers steadily grow since I found you a few months ago.. I know that this is significant for many you tubers and i wish your channel every success if that is what you wish for it, and I hope you continue creating these really helpful, valuable, intelligent, free thinking, informative, funny, sad, angry (emotional in other words) videos. You have a unique and highly intelligent voice and platform and I am so glad that I have found you. (By the way I am a very late in life diagnosee, I was 51 before I got the official nod. I've been down an Autism info rabbit hole for the last year or so and no signs of easing up yet)

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Alan, I really appreciate your kind words. They always remind me why I started the channel, and the good words heavily outweigh the negative. I am genuinely amazed at the numbers, and proud! I've done nothing to push so it's happened organically, slowly but surely and I appreciate it. Who knows how ill feel if / when it gets to 1k, needless to say, I'll remain surprised...and then wait for a mass exodus 😂

I am very discerning about autistic communities for the reasons you mentioned

@AdultwithAutism

10 ай бұрын

I've done a video I'll be releasing soon about communities again. Hopefully it'll carry on the theme 👍🏻

I am a year late on watching this and commenting but I really resonated with a lot of what you have said here. I have felt more connected to the Autism community online but I do not always agree with everything. I haven't been so brave to openly disagree with this things except for when it was directed at someone specific. During a live stream I was watching people started talking about Sia's movie "Music" and how her choice to not cast someone with Autism was a poor choice. But it's like people have nothing but bad things to say about her. I actually love her music and think she has some powerful insightful things to say and express. It was later that she was diagnosed with Autism. But people are honestly acting like she has disgraced the community. Dude, she is just trying to make it in the world the same as us and doing it her own way that she understands. Yeah, it's hard for some of us to work with new people especially on a creative project- of course she wanted to cast Maddie. She has been working with her for years and they understand one another. Why not view this through the lens of oh- its because she is Autistic. How about also stop assuming people are not Autistic just because they do not disclose that they are?

@AdultwithAutism

Ай бұрын

We can't please all of the people all of the time. Sometimes it's up to the person to do something for themselves instead of poking holes in what everyone else does...but they don't. The 'community' doesn't speak on my behalf 👍🏻

So happy to have found your videos and I absolutely agree I like the puzzle.piece I identify with it more then the infinity symbol

Thanks, Paul. I love your plain speaking. I've had so many unpleasant encounters online that i've pretty much shut up.

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

Such a shame. This wouldn't be the way in a real community 👍🏻

On the 22nd of Aug, I'm going in for my evaluation. Thank you so much for your videos and insight into myself encouraging me to actually go get it done. Vids like this one help me to see what I've got to look for and be aware of.

@AdultwithAutism

Жыл бұрын

Best of luck. Just remember to be true to yourself, this is the one place you can take your mask off, and it actually be to your benefit. Pretty sure I told my guy that his red sock/purple shoe combo was a bit weird. In another scenario it would probably have got punched.

@wendywalker7495

7 ай бұрын

How did your evaluation go, @SestraVixen ? I go in next month.

Yeah, I understand why they don't like the puzzle piece but why couldn't the colours just be changed from the original? Thats what I want. Besides, the infinity symbol is already the symbol for polyamorous people and whenever I see it that is what I will think of.

@AdultwithAutism

11 ай бұрын

Maybe it's a secret code for polygamous Autistics!

Infinity loop reminds me I am stuck with this forever! Why not use the rings of hell instead?

@AdultwithAutism

3 ай бұрын

Haha!

You fit in to my little autistic community, which is only made up of me 😊

@AdultwithAutism

7 ай бұрын

That sounds like exclusive company!

I remeber one time that I posted mothman is my new spceail intrest in the autsim sub on reddit a long time ago there was a comment from someone who I assume is autistic and, they said I just kept talking about things that weren't my spceail intrests and, they have to be so big it could become a job I think it was around the time I found out what a spceail intrest was but I think I was actaully hyper fixating on comic books/the mothman as well with the posts I did on austism sub reddit a long time ago

@AdultwithAutism

6 ай бұрын

People have mentioned to read the Mothman comics to me before. Is there an Autism connection?

@reedcoles1215

6 ай бұрын

I’m not for sure but I found out mothman from the buzzfeed unsolved series and I enjoyed that show a lot so that could by why I hyperfixated on it later

@AdultwithAutism

6 ай бұрын

Hmmm, might have to have a look at it

Here in Denmark we got something called "Flexjob" where one can work less hours a week and still get, or near to the equivalent(is that how it is spelled 😅) to a normal paycheck. The reasoning behind it is that the individual should not have their living standard ruined. I've been on 25 hours a week the past couple of years, I get what I sort of lost on my paycheck from the municipality. In my case it was my employer that initiated the case with the authorities, the "Jobcenter" as we call it in Denmark. But beware of how tough you are now when sort of caught as normal. My combined autism and ADD traits are surfacing more and more after a undiagnosed life. And the hired in psychiatrist in my job case only wrote that he saw some autistic traits, so I guess I am still partially self diagnosed... I get very tired in the afternoon, but a deep nap can rescue the evening. New sub 👍 it seems you have quite a life with house and pets going on there, cool you are tough 👍

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

I like the sound of Flexjob. Here they just keep you working until you break, increase the cost of living until its too much, then wonder why there is a mental health crisis. But, millionaires making decisions for people like me is the same as letting a child fly a plane 👍🏻

Another late to the party comment. 100% this. Apparently it's not OK when you point out to the autistic community police the theory of mind problem. When you ask them whether they've considered reading through some psychology books about how cognitive biases work or recommending therapy to help them regulate their emotions. It's still shocking to see how people just wallow in self pity and their own self riteousness in these spaces. Hope you're feeling better Paul.

Very Interesting series. On this particular one, I would have thought that a spectrum and communities that are typified with a preponderance for rigid thinking would understand those members that exemplify this trait. I may disagree with several of your points/ arguments but would never dream of trying to make you agree/ 'fit in' with the majority views/opinions - not that I necessarily agree with the majority either. Nor would I believe that my opinions outweigh yours - if they are logical, which yours appear to be to you. Then again, since when are autists either a majority or good at fitting in with others. I do think that there may be issues between the older diagnosed and younger diagnosed communities, which perhaps both can work on; as well as the fact that autists often have that rigid thinking which can exacerbate these issues on both sides. Just a thought, no hating or criticism aimed at any particular group or individual. Personal info, I am older than you but more recently diagnosed and discovering of these varied communities. I too have cultural biases that make me dislike certain aspects/terms that I have found there. Being raised Jewish I have issues with the use of Asperger's - but understand that this was a valid term for those diagnosed before 2013 and don't blame them for its use. Acceptance has to come from all sides. On a complete side note - as a white, cis, male brought up/educated in the UK (like me) - we have been inculcated with the roman mythos and culture (look at the classically-educated PM, if you have to) - but in which, we often forget, that it was the boys that were usually dressed in pink and girls in blue. It is a much later idea that swapped this. Tropes and standards change all the time as society does the same.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Indeed. It was my diagnosis in which the specialist explained to me about the depths of rigidity of thought from an Autistic perspective. I personally hated the idea of it and did everything I could to attempt to hear other perspectives outside of my own, just in case I had held up that ignorance prior without realising. The problem is, I am not often afforded the same luxury. As you say, you can disagree with many points I agree with. I would never try to convince you that you're wrong or try to make you feel bad for having a different belief that isn't purposefully detrimental. Everything which I state through the series is opinion, no facts were harmed in the making! I just share an opinion from the only perspective I can testify to, and the videos are there should someone want to watch.

@smicketysmoo

2 жыл бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism All power to you mate, good luck and let's hope that we can all work on a bit more acceptance of each other's views if not agreement.

@AdultwithAutism

2 жыл бұрын

Many thanks, and well said 👍🏻

I thought the puzzle piece was about finding where you fit in life or the world etc, then the rainbow symbol about peace and acceptance of everyone, so how about a puzzle piece with a rainbow on it?

@AdultwithAutism

19 күн бұрын

The rainbow is overly associated with LGBT in England. As someone who isn't LGBT, it wouldn't represent me at all.

Cheers for the vid Dave.

@AdultwithAutism

Жыл бұрын

No worries Bob 👍🏻

Infinity is related to translation of frequency to numbers. The earliest frequency deemed as the voice of god or the universe. Look at hebrew symbols and the numerical translation process based on the number 8, infinite...

@AdultwithAutism

6 ай бұрын

Well, that's more than any explanation I've heard so far about the infinity symbol! 👍🏻

I have had great community support but also booted out of a zoom because the host had a clash with me a year ago and i didnt want to re hash it he has way to much toxic power for a host a volenteer zoom host!!!!! I have not been back.

@AdultwithAutism

Жыл бұрын

I was bullied as a kid, then never as an adult until I was diagnosed with Autism...by other Autistic people. Thankfully it was only online as they wouldn't do it to my face, but it's so important to only partake and take part in what you want to, not what you feel you should. There is so much out there online now, unfortunately including a lot of toxic and ideology based Autism groups. We just need to keep searching to find the ones that work for us for the right reasons. 👍🏻

I’m sorry you had a hard time, many people have a hard time.

@AdultwithAutism

3 ай бұрын

Sure do 👍🏻

hahahahaha BOOM!!!! Such complex rules too and harsh punishment for not following..... which i found amusing considering ASD dont have a good grasp of social rules and prob want to get away from bullying. You have to agree with all of their complex critical theory divisions and pile on if someone missteps. Seen a couple influencers get on the wrong side of that and get horribly attacked. You have to use the right words, think the right thoughts and tow the line LOL

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

I have to admit, it's one of the things I'm having fun with currently. Infiltrating the 'we are all inclusive of all things' type of group, then showing how the only thing they accept is their own mindset. Cults vs Communities coming up 😂

The person doing things in fours might have OCD, which can also be comorbid with autism, since ASD puts you at higher risk for other disorders. I don't agree that autism is a disorder, it's a neurological difference.

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

He does have OCD. I also agree Autism is not a disorder, as I don't know any other type of person with more order! 👍🏻

Hi, Paul. Are you from Manchester?

@AdultwithAutism

5 ай бұрын

I am indeed. Very proud to be from Manchester 👍🏼

@neurofoxtube

5 ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism me too!

Xddddd 😊

@AdultwithAutism

Жыл бұрын

👍🏻

Honestly it seems to me that you've chosen it just to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. And you base your critique on that. The sad thing to me is that there are real issues within autism community that you just neglected because you are too busy trolling you own community 🙄

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

It is a shame you felt you needed to make a deeply inaccurate statement rather than potentially attempt to clarify anything, but have a great day 👍🏻

@kikitauer

8 ай бұрын

@@AdultwithAutism I had quite long answer written out but then I realised that it wouldn't make a difference and to your mind I would sound like the other people. You already said everything clarifying I think. But okay, let's try. I was wondering why you wouldn't want to know the "history" (which is present actually). But ok it is not mandatory. But why you then have the need to use the symbol you know nothing about? It is little bit like glorifying svastika without reading about WWII. Infinity sign was created by a person with autism unlike the puzzle piece that was created by ableist grandparents of an autistic child. Also I think puzzle piece fits folks with DID much better than us. Now let's see if I was wrong.

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

I am not sure why you are so negatively judgemental of me. Both of your comments have stated deeply inaccurate statements. There is no problem having a healthy debate over differing opinions, but just being rude about me when you don't know me at all...I am just not sure who that benefits? If you want to share and discuss differences, that's not a problem at all. My judgements are from lived experiences from Autism Communities and how I have been spoken to and treated by them. For the symbol/flag, the unfortunate thing within communities is that I am forced to pick one. And it has to be the rainbow-coloured infinity symbol...or I am 'wrong'. Because for some they make it a huge deal, whereas I don't need a symbol or flag at all. The problem is, that there was one symbol to represent Autism, and now there are two. So people will have a preference now, as is absolutely their choice. The concern I ran into was that I was put through 'tests' from other Autistic people based off their collective opinions of the group, and if I don't align then I am somehow wrong / a bad person. Which brought about name-calling, belittling, hate emails etc. But I just have a different opinion. The difference is, I can talk about differences, and they wouldn't even listen. I don't have to have anything to represent me as a visual image, but the Communities weren't happy with that either, I HAD to adopt the rainbow infinity symbol rather than choose none at all. As it is still all based on personal opinion, I walked away from them as I won't be commanded what to do in an attempt to be accepted. I do that in my everyday life with work, I won't do it for Autism. So the difference between the communities and my channel is, I don't have an agenda. No narrative. I accept Autism is an individual difference so we are allowed to think very differently. All I ask is that people are legal, consensual, respectful, and don't do to others they wouldn't want done to themselves. I also accept that a lot of older Autistic people were diagnosed with Asperger's, and as they have known and referred to it as such, that the habit might be a difficult one to break. Yet I talk to so many older Autistic people who have been bullied by others for not changing how they refer to it with the click of a finger from again, said communities. These people clearly forget that a 'change in routine' might take time. There are comments that show this too. That others have had difficulty finding an accepting Community just because they won't conform to the demands of the groups. So it isn't about right and wrong, it's about accepting Autism as an individual difference. And I say it at the beginning of every video...'my version of Autism, the way my head works'. My opinions are not 'wrong', they are different to the Communities. Just as they are not 'right' to me, just a different opinion. Except I don't respond with the direct hate as they do.

@kikitauer

8 ай бұрын

You've written a very long post and yet you didn't answer my questions. You approached it much more broadly but the answers got lost. Anyway on my second comment I don't see myself being negative or even rude. Yes I am arrogant but not hostile. It's because got a little bit irritated by your views. It is hard for me to discern if you are bitter or toxic. I myself am very bitter, being diagnosed two years ago at 42. But I certainly hope I am not being toxic myself :-D The symbol. I think you should know the history of the symbol you choose or accept consequences. I will not force you to choose but I will judge you if you'd use the puzzle piece. For me (and many others) it represents abuse of autistic people, especially the most vulnerable ones, children and intellectually disabled. Its meaning is not arbitrary. There is a good reason for it - the history of what this symbol has been (and still is) used for. But in the end I will not die on this hill, it is your business what you want to surround yourself with. You can even come up with your own symbol. And I am sure there are plenty of other alternative symbols as well. I am not sure what communities you've come in contact with. But I'd say that not all communities are like this. There is actually A LOT autistic people in the world - current estimate for US is as high as 3%. So it would even be possible to really niche down and try to find some very specific people. On the other hand there are jerks everywhere amongst every group. I got once kicked out of an apartment because I am autistic (the guy literally told me that he is kicking me out because I am autistic). And when I said it to my autistic community they accused me of being a drama queen and stirring conflict. But I don't believe this would happen to me in other communities, autistic or not. And lastly the Asperger's thing. I got diagnosed with it TWO YEARS AGO. It is still a thing. Yes I know that it is no longer in DSM but I got diagnosed based on ICD-10 under the code F84.5. Look it up.

@AdultwithAutism

8 ай бұрын

Definitely neither bitter or toxic, I just find it a shame that communities are not accepting unless you adopt the narrative they push. All my energy is in trying to stay afloat working, and trying to change workplace cultures. I do now know the history of it, and that's another thing...they tell you to hate Autism Speaks. But I can't hate anyone because I am told to. I need to research them fully myself before I can make a personal judgement. I'll try again to answer...apologies for not being specific. Just judging the artwork, no history or knowledge or the puzzle piece or infinity symbol, I choose the puzzle piece. It makes sense to me just by looking at it, I don't need it explaining, I relate to it. If I had to judge a symbol based on knowing the history behind both the puzzle piece and rainbow infinity, I'd choose neither. Amazing that you were diagnosed with Aspergers. Honestly, that is one of the things that people rave about if you dare say that word. I was also diagnosed with Aspergers. But like you say, there are a lot of communities, and there is bound to be one that is more suitable. When I was diagnosed, I just went straight towards the most popular as I knew nothing about Autism. Especially my own. This was my mistake. Thankfully, over here it is much more calm.