These children are all so beautiful and SUPER SMART!

As a 35 year old adoptee this video brings me to tears. I want to hug and mentor all of these children so they don't have such a mental struggle.

I loved hesring them speak, I'll share this on facebook. My mom gave me up for adoption because of her drug addiction & this year I found out she had 5 girls. She also died of drug overdose, the same year I found this out my adopted mom is getting heart surgery. Please pray for her.

This perspective is so important. As an adopted child I always felt that the conversation was primarily from the adoptive parents of soon to be adopted parents perspective. I do believe that there is no one who can accurately represent our experience like we can.

It’s great to see that people are recognizing that adoptee experiences can vary. I was abandoned at one month, in foster care until I was 3.5. I was adopted by some horrible people and at 60 am still getting treatment for depression and anxiety. I am not a person of color but looked extremely different from my adoptive family. I’ve had a pretty good life but it’s marked with depression, anxiety, cptsd and ocd. Fortunately I’m a resilient person so I’ve generally done well.

As an adoptive parent myself i really appreciate this video. We don`t get enough insights on what`s truly going on inside your minds regarding the adoption. We hear a lot of stories (good and bad) on how the adoption is, how difficult the kids can be, when to tell your kid that is adopted, bla bla bla. But most of them are focused around the adoptive parent and not around you. We need this so that we can offer our kids a better way to cope with it all. Thank you.

@ciarababcock5450

Жыл бұрын

How are the kids difficult?

Adoptive parents: DO NOT SHARE your adopted child's story with anyone. ANYONE. It is not your story to share.

@erinsahlberg5491

Жыл бұрын

AMEN!

@bertbrown1823

Жыл бұрын

Huh the parents are just as much apart of the process.Its everyone's story

@angieboom1177

Жыл бұрын

@@bertbrown1823 Huh, no. Adoptive parents love to share and overshare their adopted child's private information because it makes them look good, look like saviors, look like heros. Believe it or not, children have a right to privacy, and Adoptees have a right to privacy and to share THEIR story if, when, and how they choose.

@bertbrown1823

Жыл бұрын

@@angieboom1177 sure adoptees do, but a parents journey through the adoption process is there story also.The parent who had to give up a child has a story also. The adopting agency also.Adoption has many layers, perspectives and getting to hear the answers to the questions not asked will be important later on in life.

@angieboom1177

Жыл бұрын

@@bertbrown1823 You are saying two different things. Adoptive parents do not have the right to share their Adoptee's private information: Not on social media, not in blogs, not to sell books, not to family members, not to teachers. Period. The adoption PROCESS is not the Adoptee's private information, and I don't care what APs have to say about the process. However the storytelling *ends* when they get to the Adoptee- that is not THEIR story. This isn't difficult to understand, so stop being obtuse. Agencies don't have stories. Bio parents have stories, and their stories are theirs to tell. Adoptees have the right to privacy, and anyone who can't respect that privacy has zero business adopting. Getting to HEAR their OWN stories is from their APs or Bio parents isn't a violation of privacy. Duh.

I am adopted and have RAD, but because I grew up in the 70's there was low cognisance of really any negative mental effects. So while i exhibited RAD my whole life I did not I know I had this until near 50yo. One major and very damaging effect many adoptees may experience is the lack of connection to family, society, community, and partners etc! In a world totally geared towards attachment, (example ownership of assets, belonging to community etc) this detachment trait can be catastrophic!

My best friend growing up was adopted, and we are both biracial. At the time, I didn't realize how she was struggling with identity and the difficulty she encountered with fitting in. She had no access to black people, and was adopted by a white family who loved her fiercely, but didn't really understand the need she had to connect with others who looked like her, or even the importance for her of knowing where she came from.

Phew! This made me cry quite a bit. I relate to almost all of these children and what they had to say. I wish I'd had a program like this growing up. It took until I was 25 to start unpacking how I felt and reaching out online to find other adoptees who could understand. Keep up the great work!

@alejandroroldanropero6604

Жыл бұрын

Sameee. I never felt "bad" about it, because I've been treated very well and my family loves me, certainly. I never knew that it'd be so hard now that I'm growing up. Now I'm 18 and I'm starting to see the degree of damage and sadness it gave me.

@ciarababcock5450

Жыл бұрын

I’m 25 and just now starting to feel it. It makes me sad to think these kids are able to put to words how it feels. I feel like I’m just now finding my words..

@joonjonjew

Жыл бұрын

@@ciarababcock5450exactly, i’m 21 and i’m barely putting into words how I felt about my comeup into adulthood, I have nothing but love for these kids.

These kids are so brave and they speak so clearly and adult like. I mean, They seem like they've all had time to think about each question being asked way before this day....I too am adopted and I'm so happy and grateful they say they are lucky and seem to take it way better than I did at their age. I'm 38 and still have unanswered questions. I'm so proud of them all! God Bless You Guys! You are lucky!!! We are lucky and maybe one day we all can help others with same issues and since we have experience with this subject...We all can make a huge difference in our future's youth and heal their hearts!

I appreciate this video. My partner is adopted and he struggles a lot with his identity even at the age 47. When I complain about my parents he always say but you have your parents. That hurt so bad. He was abused his entire life in foster care and adoption so he feel like all of his life he end up with short end stick

@Marenqo

3 жыл бұрын

@@WorkingProgress17 why? Some kids are not as lucky as you

@Flyingtaco82

3 жыл бұрын

He is not alone.

@frankpaya690

3 жыл бұрын

@@WorkingProgress17 THAT'S a stupid comment!

@jlopez665

2 жыл бұрын

Hey just my opinion. If you are mad about your parents, it’s your problem. You are allowed to complain about them. Even if he isn’t doing it on purpose it’s not your fault.

@jlopez665

2 жыл бұрын

@@WorkingProgress17 I’m so sorry you had a bad experience.

Children in need can be loved and cared for without legally changing their identity and cutting them off from all biological family. If you feel you have to do that to take care of a child, then it's about you and not the child.

@NPC--666

9 ай бұрын

That's a modern interperation perhaps; adoption is a time honured tradition, 'looking after the tribe'; not just a modern legal neccessity?

@angieboom1177

9 ай бұрын

@@NPC--666 Well, we are living in modern times and in the US. Canada, Aiustralia, and most of Europe, that is how adoption works. If someone is legally adopted, they are renamed in part or whole, their birth certificate is altered, and they are legally severed *for life* from their biological family (unless they are adopted by family members), and there is no legal mechanism for the adopted person to reverse or anull the adoption as an adult. That is what modern adoption is, and that is entirely about pleasing adoptive parents, not child centered.

@NPC--666

9 ай бұрын

@@angieboom1177 Maybe as you say where you are; in the UK care workers only remove children in extremis (risk of injury, death, abuse etc.). Once removed, all efforts are made to keep contact with the birth parents if it is in the Child's interest. I'm going to suggest the adoptive parent's feelings / needs are the last thing to be considered!

@angieboom1177

9 ай бұрын

@@NPC--666 I know people in the UK like to believe that their system is different, but it isn't. Private adoptions still happen in the UK, as do international adoptions, and in ALL ADOPTIONS the child is permanently legally severed from their entire biological family, for life. That is factual. There is no legal mechanism in place for adult adopted people to annull their adoption in the countries I mentioned above (including the UK). That is factual. The adoptive parents have total control over any kind of contact the child can have with bio family, that is true all over the world. Adoptive parents can change the adopted child's name, in full or part, to anything they want. That is factual. There is no law that an adopted child be told they are adopted, which is why we are seeing so many people now finding out that they are adopted after doing DNA tests. That is factual. The adopted person's NEEDS, which include truth, transparency, being treated equally under the law, and the right to legal guardianship *instead of adoption* to preserve our legal and biological status, always falls behind the wants of the adults who desire to make a child "their own" rather than considering what a child needs. PLEASE do not come and adoptsplain at me.

This is awesome. As an adopted Haitian American I relate to all these kids and it feels just great hearing them talk!!!

I am an adoptee / Was adopted at 3 days old here I am 41 now. Has been one hell of a ride! Idk where to start but I want to get my story out for sure! Any ideas? Thank you for sharing this amazing video! Thank you for doing this type of work! So glad they are places like this!

@jesusfreak1249

Жыл бұрын

Yes I get you. I was adopted at 2 months and I’ve gone to counseling and it helps but then all the abandonment issues come back and I’m looking for a support group now in the Los Angeles area because I know that it’s good to get those feelings out

@chasx7062

Жыл бұрын

@@jesusfreak1249 Just be thankful, Man! You are getting better opportunities than most...NEVER LOOK BACK IN ANGER

@angieboom1177

10 ай бұрын

@@chasx7062 Stop telling Adoptees what to do or feel.

6:28 Good job, Jake. You said it all on this video, I appreciated your openness.

I can tell those two brothers stand up for each other and confide a lot in each other.

These kids are so articulate! I am the parent of an adopted kid and I always felt that I couldn't understand what he feels....

I'm 70 and an adoptee and feel really sad for these kids because I know that things could get rough for them as they get older. I've had problems with addictions starting from booze at 14 then hard drugs until now. Two marriages that ended in disaster.and I'm committed to staying single for the remainder of my life, I couldn't put a woman through it.but you never know. I have three daughters and a son deceased at age 33. Seven grandchildren and one great granddaughter.

Thank you very much for this video. All of the adoptees who spoke did a wonderful job of communicating their stories, who they are and the many many things that inform their identities. Thank you to everyone who participated. You were brave and articulate. I feel that I have truly gained some insights.

Well done interviews! Loved hearing the voice of all these kids, but Jakara stole my heart!

I love EVERYTHING about this video!!!!! As a transracial family I want ALL my children to feel part of their cultures. I also feel that after watching a lot of videos on transracial adoption a common thread I see is that the race these children are born into are the ones who point out that they're not "black enough" or they are"acting the race they're adopted into. As an Indigenous woman I would really like to understand what does it mean to not be black enough or acting the race you're adopted into means. To be adopted is to be wanted and loved❤ thank you for these videos

I think this is great, I sure wish that I had something like this growing up. BUT, while I agree that being a different color/culture than your adoptive parents would be harder than my experience as a white adoptee with white parents, I still have issues, so I think this should be more inclusive, and there could be a group that addresses this issue within the group, but it could be broader and more encompassing to all adoptees. I guess it is because there are a lot more adoptions from foreign counties lately.

@michaelfundis3702

5 жыл бұрын

Hello

@minuterepeater2257

5 жыл бұрын

@ Lisa O. Davis Same here, Im glad there is more attention and help these days for the adoptees which was non existent when I was younger as well. As for the challenges between non interracial/intercontinental adoptions here are differences ofcourse, but in the end I think the questions, emotions and other issues at its core are the same from what I have seen in and around my life.

Call out to Trayvon, you rock man!

This was such a good video. Thank you for making it.

True. This is even more interesting through the lens the global adoption community!

@minuterepeater2257

5 жыл бұрын

@ Miriam Gaenicke It is, I wished there were these kind of programs when I was their age. But better late than never, Im glad there is more attention and help out their for adopted kids.

I have the right to express myself.

Thanks for the insight! Great video.

its important to hear all sides of the story. thanks for uploading!

It makes you feel , like you wern't wanted. you're not good enough and never will be.

@chasx7062

Жыл бұрын

Never look back in anger, keep moving on

LOVE this video!

I always struggled with my identity. I developed drug problems, which I used as a coping tool. I spent a lot of my energy on Genetic DNA testing, and before that, I paid several big-name investigators. I met my birth mother, but the information I had about my biological father was not true. I found my father's family and genealogy through DNA testing with AncestryDNA. Now I am trying to digest the information and it is brining me peace.

Good video I will meet adoptees in person so I can connect.

I was a little lucky cause of my Grandmother and her raising after I was like 13. That didn't stop me from going through abuse from my step dad or foster mom's husband as well as others in my adopted family. I survived that but it was painful not knowing who my Biological parents were

What great kids!!

I am not adopted, nor I know any adopted person. But all these boys and girls, seem to me the most balanced and awaken group of people. It looks like most of the confussion and negativity in one's own childhood, actually comes from the parents poor performance and the perpetuation of imaginary enemies and prejudices. Lack of real love. I feel very much identified with their way of thinking

i was adopted. when other kids found out, they asked questions. not sure why the first kid was so offended that other kids asked him questions. being adopted makes you feel like you're not and never will be as attached to your adoptive parents like other kids are with their biological parents.

Thank you so much

3:00 FML so insensitive! Teachers need to be better

Wow.......................................................................

All these adoptees are just like me minorities in the United States. I found out in High school that I was a different race than my foster family

Ugggghhhh!!!! These kids are having to be grateful. adoption=trauma

I do not think teachers and other students should know about a child being adopted. 2 Teachers need to be more senistive. Itis ok to be open but avoid negative naysayers

Who the hell are these comments from ?? " As an adopted child" Ima Shaw ???? Highly likely an imposter employed by the agency. Adoption is first and foremost about pain, anxiety and shame - for all of the triad involved - by all means love and nurture these children - they will do amazing things, but DO NOT portray it as some sort of fairy tale

@chasx7062

Жыл бұрын

These kids are getting better opportunities than in foster

@MustyUnderboob

Жыл бұрын

​@@chasx7062 don't minimize the impact of losing your parents.

Very smart kids

Can someone please help me or email I was adopted illegally and my life was messed up I went homeless right after I discovered I was adopted. I'm an adult but I have never met my biological father and my mother chose a street life. Both of my parents come from third world countries

@kathyannpardi9888

2 жыл бұрын

You should take a DNA test, that's a start Timothy Zakaria. ✌ ☮

I found out that I was adopted my mother told me that my dad I've known isn't my natural dad but did adopted me at age three I was told that by her in 2020 I was completely shocked 😳 because I was told at 29 years ago an it can be hard at times still I go through emotions at times and also i did had questions and asked if i was an knew something was off and i have ask if i was adopted more then once

I have found that being an adoptee brought up by Caucasian parents and me a different race, you will run into identity problems - you're neither really a true member of your adopted family nor accepted by your own race because you're ignorant of their culture. However, the Govt, society and some other people will clump you in with your own race especially equate you with all the bad things that race are known for. (stereotype you). Also when you meet your birth parent/s, you can become physically attracted to him/her. It is best to have a mediator. Also beware of narcissistic adoptive parents. Look up narcissism - find out about it if this applies to you

@conspiracynutsgfy661

2 жыл бұрын

Well for me it turned out opposite...my b family are very self centered individuals.

Painful

The person who is THERE, especially if they're the only mother or father you've ever known is going to be the one you're going to feel closer to. that's normal, that's the way it should- be if you bonded with your adopted parent. the one that might share your DNA, that you never met, if you meet them the first time- it's meeting a stranger. I always wondered who my father was I always had that unwanted feeling, not even knowing who my father was but knowing the reason he wasn't there was by his choice. I never really fit- in with my mother's relatives, I was always different in my thinking, my personality. The name I now have is my biological father's name, I had it legally changed when I was 19, because I was looking for an identity. I never had a stepfather I never had anybody, any of my uncles that were in that role, I was always looking for it. I was the kid always hanging around with my friends family's & trying to be a part of, by association. I was kind of like a stray- animal that you feed it and it hangs around. I hung around with a lot of adults growing -up & looking for a surrogate father . Accidentally I have found one nephew and he was drawn to me, he said because I reminded him so much of his Dad, that my mannerisms are very much like his dad's. he had no idea, neither did I that we were related till Facebook sent him a friend recommendation because of the same last name. I wasn't raised with his father (who's my half brother) but there's a lot of personality traits there that somebody anonymously like that & having no- idea about a connection picked - up on. Nature? or nurture? it's both.

I would love to include Mira’s quote and photo in a booklet for adopting parents. I would credit Pactadopt. Let me know if this causes any concerns. Many thanks.

@Pactadopt

2 жыл бұрын

Hey Clare, if you could reach out to our director, Beth Hall she can go into this request in further detail with you. Her email is beth@pactadopt.org. Thanks for reaching out!

@claremcdougall6981

2 жыл бұрын

@@Pactadopt Wonderful. Email sent. Many thanks. And super video BTW :-)

GRANIBAKKENS TAHOE CITY!

Being adopted sucks!

@karismoffat1968

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah. But people don't know, they just tell you to be grateful.

@cinnamonw.650

Жыл бұрын

What about being adopted sucks for you? I am considering adopting a child and I want them to be happy and thrive in life. I would never want my child to feel anything less than love and support. I also wanted to do an open adoption. I hear so many bad stories from adoptees.

@sp3357

Жыл бұрын

@Cinnamon W if you have a email I could tell you things I’m adoptee

@angieboom1177

Жыл бұрын

@@cinnamonw.650 Then you need to be listening to Adoptees, not agencies, not adoptive parents. What connections do you have with Adoptees in your life? What Adoptee-centric social media do you follow? What books about the true, ugly history of adoption have you read? What books BY ADOPTEES have you read? Why do you think you are uniquely qualified to raise someone else's child? These are all things you need to be asking yourself instead of buying into the rainbows and unicorns adoption propaganda.

19:57 looks like my baby brother, I love you Adriel

These kind of questions, are very damaging for the kids. And it only strains relationship between parents and child. Why would a child be made to feel grateful for being adopted?? Its not gratefulness but love that matters, which has to be mutusl in any child parent relationship. Every parent who adopts a child does it with best intent and out of love and joy of raising a child. Interviewer should be more sensitive and not put words into the kids mouth. Very bad interviewing

I'm kinda jealous of adopted teens because most have wealthy families and get sooo much attention but me not having my dad bugs me because I don't know the other side of my family that much ... but at some point you want to get to know where you really come from such as your DNA and the way you look......

@angieboom1177

4 жыл бұрын

All the stuff in the world does not replace your biological parents.

@angieboom1177

10 ай бұрын

@@gstrathmore194 Foster kids need to return to their family unit- that includes extended famlly and community members. They do not need to be adopted. Legal guardianship should replace adoption.

@angieboom1177

10 ай бұрын

@@gstrathmore194 It's always interesting when a non-Adoptee jumps into the discussion to share what they believe other Adoptees believe. Why is that? If I were Black and shared my experience, would you jump in and say "my best freind is Black and doesn't feel that way"? What purpose would that serve?So anyway, why does "get away from" have to mean "permanently legally severed from ALL bio family members (including siblings, grandparents, cousins, etc) for life, a false new "birth" certificate, a new name (rarely by choice) and no option to ever reverse, annul, or cancel the adoption?" Legal guardianship does not of that and can still provide a safe place for children who truly can't go home.

@angieboom1177

10 ай бұрын

@@gstrathmore194 Also hon, I know 10K Adoptees (literally) who DO agree with me, so simply by the numbers most Adoptees are critical of the entire adoption process and the human rights violations involved.

@colleenobrien8212

8 ай бұрын

@@angieboom1177did you know you could be taken as arrogant and condescending. Calling someone you don’t know “hon” is usually meant to put someone in their place. What does it matter why someone disagrees with you? We each have are own observations, experiences and thought processes which impact our opinions. Try being gracious and you might learn something even if it’s from someone who hasn’t had any of your experiences.

adoption is a jewish tradition

@mirfir

5 жыл бұрын

Olive Mule via Miriam...

@FloreFleur

4 жыл бұрын

Olive Mule not true. Adoption is practiced in all cultures.

@angieboom1177

4 жыл бұрын

Not the way it is practiced in the present day. There is nothing Jewis or biblical about it.

@angieboom1177

4 жыл бұрын

@@FloreFleur The way modern day American/European adoption is practiced is NOT the way it is done in all cultures. In other cultures the child's name, heritage, and family are known and honored. The child is never expected to pretend to be born to the adoptive parents. The child will always know his/her origin.

@FloreFleur

4 жыл бұрын

Angie Boom A very very very good point! It didn’t occur to me that this is the American/European way, but it makes total sense.

Angela Tucker again forcing negative thoughts on adoptees who are at peace. She keeps prompting negative issues the kids don't even think about and there she goes suggesting those negative thoughts and even forcing them to GO THERE. Angela, I understand we all have our OWN TRAUMAS and that IS VALID, but as you may notice the world, adoption world included, is a matter of PERSPECTIVE, so please if an adoptee seems to be at peace and doesn't take themselves nor their circumstances too seriously or not as much as you do, please let them have their peace and keep the negativity to yourself. Sorry for being blunt just had enough of seeing her do that, especially to young vulnerable adoptees

@angieboom1177

10 ай бұрын

Lol, no. Adoption trauma isn't a matter of perspective. No one is forcing Adoptees to deal with anything- we will come to our own conclusions about adoption, thanks.

@shonali4699

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely. These, are very damaging questions for the kids and their vulnerable minds. It's sad for the parents as well who have brought up the kids with all best intent and so much of love. These provocative thoughts can spoil any parent child relationship