I live in a household where my husband is ADHD my 11-year-old is ADHD, and my eight-year-old is ADHD, and I am not with the constant barrage at least one of them melting down. How can someone cope when there’s never a moment of peace in their home? Honest question from someone at their wits end

@marywalker4441

Ай бұрын

How are you doing in this? My husband and son has ADHD and managing with their emotions and everything else with ADHD while also managing our life is very hard.

I have a foster daughter with ADHD (suspected, not diagnosed as yet) and let me tell you. It. Is. HARD!!! Many times I look at her and think “it’s not your fault” but I still feel many times like I just can’t do it. Thanks for this video. A lot of it resonated with me and I appreciated the calm conversational tone.

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

Get a proper diagnosis as soon as you can.

I'm a 33 year old recently diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression (you nailed it) and as of today just began taking medication after a life of constant ups and downs- a rollercoaster really. Until recently learning I had ADHD, I believed that I was just a "fuck up" and frequently questioned if I was going to be able to endure the rest of my life this way or if I would have to end it early. You explained the ADHD experience so intimately, I feel I finally have answers for why I have struggled. Frustration, fear, and failure are my 3 biggest obstacles. I just had this incident happen to me at a new job, because I couldn't recall part of a process I had done only once on the spot. I had to pull out my phone because I have it written down but it was too late, I had failed them and they sat me down and said I have to make a point of remembering these things. They didn't know that I had been spending my time at home after work diligently writing down work task details so that I could call on the notes later when asked to do the tasks again. Needless to say, I went home crying in frustration as a 33 year old who believed that maybe he just wasn't who he thought he was, maybe I'm a lot dumber than I realize, and that it was likely going to cost me a good job opportunity. It's like everywhere I go I just feel stupid. Learning that there is a reason behind all of this and that it's not because I'm hopelessly stupid or incompetent has really changed the way I look at myself and my life in the last couple of days. Things are already changing for the better. Thank you so much for making this video Dr. G, even 2 years later your video is still helping people like me.

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

People who are late-diagnosed ADHD have a lot of emotional baggage because of a lifetime of underperforming and blaming yourself. Got to give that stuff up. Therapy and coaching and educating yourself about ADHD will help.

So helpful for a foster carer having our first adhd child. Scary temper tantrums

@PEMDASbaby

8 ай бұрын

Good parents don't get to give them back 🤣

I'm an adult who was recently diagnosed and it's really hard to find information about adhd tantrums. I still have them at 38 years old maybe because I didn't get the proper treatment. I've called them panic attacks my whole life because it was all I could relate them too but they aren't. It's often a combination of heavy criticism or feeling like I've let someone down followed by something over stimulating like noise I can't get away from. They look like a panic attack but a lot of people who have those say they can't breathe or they feel like they're going to die and it scares them and I don't feel like that. I feel like I wish I could die and make the feeling go away. It seems more similar to an autistic meltdown than a panic attack. I just want to understand. I've lived so long feeling like I was just weird and a failure and now I have a reason but the information is scarce and it's so much to take in

@sparkle74HvH

4 ай бұрын

I relate to you so much but without hearing the noise. It's usually when I experience some sort of injustice when I feel like I am being persecuted and didn't do anything wrong

@jalalstephens7457

3 ай бұрын

Same emotions can be overwhelming

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

Late diagnosed ADHDers frequently have a lot of emotional baggage related to growing up without being properly diagnosed, but knowing something is wrong. They tend to develop a negative identity and are very sensitive to any real or perceived criticism. It's called rejection sensitive dysphoria and it causes a lot of disruption. We know that ADHDers get about 70 critical comments per day. Thinking that's all your fault and you have some kind of character flaw (lazy, crazy,stupid,sociopath)puts you on guard, expecting the worst. You have establish a negative identity and will likely need to at least consider therapy. You're not a bad person, you just grew up with a neurodivergent brain in a neurotypical society.

@ronnieberck6505

Ай бұрын

Same here... 😢

@Dancestar1981

Ай бұрын

Not temper tantrum it’s emotional disregulation and the emotions are totally legitimate the difficulty is the intensity of them

I can't believe how good youtube is. I'm sitting here with adhd LAUGHING at my new neighbour who is 30 years younger and has temper tantrums all day long. He slams the door which is jarring but also funny as hell because I know what he's going through - the suffering is his more than mine lol,

@AprilWaugh

Ай бұрын

What is your view on meds

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

I have no problem with meds. They work well and quickly with most ADHDers. There are a number of different meds, stimulant and non-stimulant. Combined with Cognitive Behavior Therapy they are the most efficient treatment we have. Best of all they work rapidly. They aren't mandatory but they make school way more tolerable. Side effects for most are minimal.

@stoneneils

Ай бұрын

@@terrygingras6169 I can't seem to do it. I just got concerta..on the down i took another one..then another one..until i was too wired then got depressed as hell and angry at myself. I'm finally better now but oh boy..i think i will only take them when i absolutely need to concentrate. Not daily. Thank GOD it was not adderall is all i can say lol..the down was not even 10% as harsh.

This guy gets it and knows how to relay it

@scienceisfun5989

3 ай бұрын

Yes he does

My 3 year old daughters temper tantrums and meltdowns are so frequent and intense. They started about 1. She has always been extremely difficult to settle to sleep. Was a colic baby. Remains fussy and disagreeable. Can be very defiant, refuse to get in the car seat etc and for the last 3 weeks has been point blank refusing to get dressed. She is also very intelligent, creative and articulate. Her father displays all of the adult adhd symptoms and scored high on a self screening test and is going to follow up with a dr, his twin sister has an adult adhd diagnosis...i know there can be a genetic link. I am not sure what to do about my daughter given she is still quite little, but what we go through at home with her behaviour seems more intense than what is typical. She is also super energetic and always has been. Constant blur of movement, does not sit still, always talking, always on the go (and she was like that since she was a baby, also early to crawl and walk). I asked her kindergarten teachers about her behaviour when with them - they had told me in person she often has emotional ups and downs but when I reached out recently they said she was progressing well and they have no major concerns so I am not sure whether to see a Dr or not. Maybe she is masking at kindygarten and unleashes more at home after keeping a lot of stuff bottled up...not sure whether to see a dr or wait until she is older, some people think wait until older because a lot of the behaviours are thought to be normal for this age group. I have a 9 month old baby too. Great video detailing ADHD.

@terrygingras6169

29 күн бұрын

Generally the younger the child, the less accurate the diagnosis. It is also difficult to find a good provider who will evaluate a child that young. In my private practice I never evaluated anyone younger than 6. Also given that her behavior has improve at kindergarten means she may improve at home. You sound like you're very busy at home and probably have some early sibling rivalry going on. Just relax,Mom. You've still got time.

I happened upon this video last night. I had a 9 year old daughter w/ ADHD. She doesn't have a lot of tantrums but she has her share of challenges like any kid with ADHD. This video was so insightful. The parts about the negative feedback they receive daily, and what's important as far as parenting them was eye opening. So glad I found this. I have subscribed and will watch more. Thank you!

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

Looking forward to ore comments from you. Girls tend to be more the inattentive type of ADHD. Boys tend to be hyperactive and tear up a classroom while girls with ADHD sit quietly daydreaming about unicorns and rainbows. At least that's what the research says.

That's amazing! have quite literally hit every single emotion I have hit my entire life on the head. Also how in which I have had to deal with it without a official diagnosis. Plus mental health is not the best in the UK or in the North of England. I mean it when I say thank you ☺️.

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

You're welcome.

Adam here. This video🎯 highlights all the things I lacked but desperately needed all of which I am finally giving myself at 28, mainly by simply distancing myself from those who would continue to criticize and create drama in my life instead of providing safety.

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

Congratulations on taking care of yourself. It's tough to recover from a lifetime of criticism. The tendency is to carry that critical inner voice with you. You've got to learn to catch those negative thoughts and counter them with a more positive thoughts.further ADHDers responder really well to positivity and not well at all to criticism. Eventually you'll have to be able to forgive those that criticized you and scarred you, but that's not your immediate task. Keep in touch.

@Staci-ed5kc

Ай бұрын

@@terrygingras6169 ♥️

There’s a lot here I remember from my childhood. Unfortunately I’m now reminded on a daily basis watching my 11 year old daughter struggle down the same path. 😢

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

Use your experience to help her. Find her strengths and talents and work on helping her improve those. Teach her to compensate for ADHD cognitive difficulties.Positive works better than piunishment. Get her to see that ADHD is something that she can have and still live a great life.

Thank you. I needed this video. 🙏🏼

A lifetime of negative feedback

Great video! It’s very helpful to a mom of ADHD kid. Thanks!

My husband and two adult children have adhd! I know that I have never had peace in the last fifty four years. I could not do this again. I also suspect some personality problems in this too.

This was really insightful thank you

Thank you! This was very helpful :)

Thank you so much doctor

Was that parent who overlooked and was kind of easy on my son only to realize I've raisedan adult monster. Someone who has become aggressive, hostile uses the most filthy abusive language mostly to me. Blames me for everything also the fact he is now stuck in a rut. It is very difficult to deal with the person he has become. I am at my wits end as to how to deal with these problems now.

Amazing video!!

I am glad KZread recommend your channel, subscribed.

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

Thank you. Welcome to the journey.

Thank you so much! I’ve been looking for solutions to help my 18 year old son.

Yes they are very smart…my 6 year old is very bright and learns things very fast! But ADHD gets in his way sometimes. It’s the worse when other ppl judge and try to coddle him when he’s throwing a tantrum. I pray he don’t sock them in the face. Like y are u walking up to a random kid throwing a tantrum and u don’t know what’s going on? Mine has ADHD and childhood trauma. ❤ I gotta be strong for my son and myself. ❤

On the nose. thank you.

I cant help thinking if terry ever gets mistaken for downs!

Thank you for you the video! KZread nowadays is full of informational videos and they give you really loads of knowledge and tips and tricks and somehow after having watched those you feel worried. And as an ADHD-kid parent I do already feel worried most of my time, so not helpful. Listening to your video was so comforting, just like talking to a wise grandpa (who unlike our grandparents is not in denial but instead very knowledgeable about what’s happening to the kid). So hope to hear/watch more of you! Anyway I wanted to ask your take on the medication and the temper tantrums. My daughter (ADHD, anxiety and possible ADS which we don’t see but her therapist strongly advised the assessment which we are doing now) is on Strattera for her ADHD yet it doesn’t help her emotional dysregulation. We know by the profile of this medicine that it could and actually expected to help but it doesn’t do the work for her. How would you advise us to go about it? We are experimenting with the medications (types, dosages) for 10 months now and we don’t see the significant improvement.

@asialol8039

Ай бұрын

My name is Anya.

@asialol8039

Ай бұрын

And by the way hopefully my comparison to the grandpa was not offensive to you!

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

@@asialol8039 I am in real life a Grandfather so that doesn't offend me : -) I am also a psychologist, but I am not your psychologist so I can only speak in general terms. Sounds like your daughter's doctor is proceeding in a logical manner. I am not sure how many other medications you tried before settling on non-stimulant meds. Sometimes you have to tryseveralbefore getting to the right one. The other factor to consider is adolescence. Adolescence and ADHD is a potent, potentially explosive combination. The rapid changes, physical and psychological make finding the appropriate dosage difficult. You think you've found the right dosage one day and the next day she's two inches taller and the dosage is no longer adequate. Bottom line sounds like you are on the right path. Just keep going. and remember to encourage her strengths.

@asialol8039

Ай бұрын

@@terrygingras6169 thank you so much for your thoughtful and caring reply! Indeed adolescence is a challenge in its own and the combination with ADHD doesn’t sound pretty at all (good luck for us to survive this!). Additionally we have some more challenges - to start with, we live in UAE and unfortunately very limited medication for mental health is available here and on top of that my daughter cannot swallow the pill so that reduced our options to basically Strattera and/or antidepressant (and they do not work well together or at least didn’t work for us). But I appreciate your advise and support. We will definitely keep on going and I will continue watching your videos for some useful information and comforting🥹 thank you!

@asialol8039

Ай бұрын

My ever-lasting research brought me to the knowledge about alpha-2 adrenergic agonists which are said to be very helpful for the emotional dysregulation at ADHD-ers. What’s your take on it?

Bullet points please, I wanted to listen, but way too much talking for my adhd. How do you handle a rage moment or temper tantrum, what are some good coping strategies?

Im full of fustration and anger caused by doctors! I would try to explain but no mear doctor is going to understand.

@terrygingras6169

29 күн бұрын

Find yourself a Doc who is familiar, possibly even an expert in ADHD and he or she should be able to understand what you're going through.

My son is almost 8yrs old and was diagnosed with ADHD in the summer of 2022. Hi school keeps calling us saying that his tantrums are out of control and instead of focusing on the ADHD, they say it must be something more and are trying to force us into testing him for Autism. Is there something that we can ask or look into to assist?

@user-eu7si8hx8v

7 ай бұрын

I'm not sure where you live, but the school district my son goes to provides testing. But you as the parent have to request it. I was told the school does not offer that information willingly because it costs them money and then they would be obligated to accommodate any findings. It's sad it works that way. My son was diagnosed by a non-school associated psychologist with ADHD at 4. But I'm actually now getting him re-evaluated because I do believe there is something more going on, like Autism, or something else undiagnosed. It is a daily struggle with temper tantrums, especially within the last year or so. If he isn't getting what he wants in the moment, he calls me and his dad bad names (curse words), he tells us to go to hell, says he wishes he could kill us. But then later, after it's over, he says he loves us. But it's really affecting the family so we gotta get something done about it.

@Michelle-DiPalo

7 ай бұрын

@user-eu7si8hx8v I completely understand the frustration. My son used to be aggressive at home, but has calmed down the past few years. He was still having issues in school this year, but we actually switched him to a different school with a 15:1 class that's much less overwhelming for him and he's been doing much better.

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

Schools frequently ask for all kinds of different diagnoses. Teachers see a lot of kids but they are not trained in diagnosis. Their concern is for aa quiet classroom so pupils can learn. It would do no harm to have whoever initially diagnosed him to consider an additional diagnosis. If he/she was a psychologist they may have already considered and ruled out autism.

@Dancestar1981

Ай бұрын

@@user-eu7si8hx8vyou can have both autism and ADHD together

Yes yes yes

I have a ten yr old son that I believe has inattentive adhd/maybe a little autism like myself, which I just recently got diagnosed, im being treated, but would like some guidance on medication for him?? He’s on a waiting list for behavioral health through his pediatrician so I don’t know what’s gonna come out of this when they finally get to him. If he’s tested for adhd/autism and is diagnosed, I worry that he may not be prescribed any medication (just counseling which he recently started). What’s a normal standard in medication if he’s diagnosed for a boy his age? His main symptoms imo are the emotional control challenges and immaturity. His 6 yr old sister is way more mature. She seems neuro typical though. Having said all of this, he doesn’t act this way at school (he’s well behaved which tells me he can control this to an extent). I just want him to be treated as early in life as possible because there have been little to no improvement as he has gotten older. Thanks

@MysteryGrey

5 ай бұрын

He's probably getting over stimulated in school and it comes out at home.

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

At age 10, he is appropriate for the usual ADHD meds. But encourage you not to get ahead of yourself. He may or may not be ADHD. It is somewhat unusual that he's able to maintain control in the school environment.

@kev5162

Ай бұрын

@@terrygingras6169 thank you for responding, we’re now accepting the high possibility of AS. He hasn’t been diagnosed but while we had him tested for ADHD me and his mother filled out a separate paper with AS questions and he scored a 14 with many traits that align with it. Not sure what to do now as far as a diagnosis-if we want to follow through with it…?

What if you suspect having ADHD as well as the child?

@terrygingras6169

Ай бұрын

Get evaluated ASAP and start treatment. It doesn't"t get better if you wait.

Dude! 17 minutes? I can’t sit through a video that long!

@armed_but_blind2768

11 ай бұрын

I zoned out and back in several times and had to rewind some key points to let it resonate properly 😂

@thegardenmechanic6845

9 ай бұрын

i love all the adhd doctors who make videos for people who hate rambling bullshit, then make something like this

@brendalg4

9 ай бұрын

No time stamps either

@worthmor5146

8 ай бұрын

Even when I sped up video it was hard.

@boboloko

7 ай бұрын

I know right. It pissed me off! I threw my computer across the room and screamed for ten minutes!