I was diagnosed with autism in 2021. I have felt 'different' my whole life and struggled significantly with my mental health. Although the diagnosis has not changed my life, it has allowed me to at least try not to be so hard on myself about things I can't do anything about. Like you Adam, I am cautious about being too easy on myself and I continue to give myself a hard time. I have imposter syndrome I suppose but i'm glad I have the diagnosis because it means more help is available.

Dont let them get you down i went on a day hill trend until i figured everything out You'll get there one day its just what they place in front of you

Matthew 11 28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Good for you for taking that big step. You're moving in the right direction. We're rooting for you Adam.♥

What an excellent description of what you're going through. I may understand the feeling. The negative thoughts I have over the years became more articulate. Sort of distilled into the most refined ways to self-sabotage without me realizing it. Like a form of nudge theory that sneaks its way into me accepting failure. Sometimes realize when it's too late. Example would be trying to get myself to prepare for a social event. The subtle suggestions and explanations on how I'd perform creep in. Then the event has already started and I haven't left, begrudgingly accept it's too late. A while after so I have the regret for falling again. In any case, it's good to see that you're doing better. Saw your video on discussing birthdays. I had similar situation. Where we stopped celebrating birthdays and christmas when I was around eight. Instead on birthdays we'd might get a cake, but that was it. I think we all felt it was lacking but didn't want to say it. We also had the same thing in the US with the books. For us it was usually Scholastic Reader. Fondly remembering wanting Captain Underpants books. Was told "not right now." Other times, "maybe later." Sorts of things remind me of Attachment Theory. Maybe it's something you could bring up during the session with your practitioner. Smart decision by the way to try something different that could help. It helped me and I hope the same for you. Thanks for continuing videos. They're pretty thought-provoking and more, they motivate me to keep trying self-improvement and to remind myself there's still time for change. Take care!

A great book is “the power of positive thinking” Norman Vincent Peale.

This sounds like a great step Adam. You're very self aware and intelligent. I think therapy will be really helpful for you.

I got diagnosed ASD and ADHD at the start of the year, my severe anxiety is related to this among other things. You can get help with work, benefits and just being able to have a real break from stress. I haven't been working almost a year and it's been good stress wise but yeah I do have to keep busy with my own creative stuff. The thing about having plans is a big deal. I can't make any plans it ruins my life up to the date of the plans. It won't hurt to get diagnosed you can choose who you tell and the benefits of getting support are there if you need it. ❤

I’m doing therapy and taking medication since september. I feel better. I recommend you to try some antidepresants. Big hug brother.

I was a bit surprised when you mentioned not wanting to find out if you are on the spectrum because you believe it won't make a difference in your daily life. Interestingly, when I discovered that my 18-year-old daughter was high-functioning autistic, it led to a deeper understanding. It helped us identify the most suitable job for her, improved our communication with her and her friends, and allowed her to develop effective strategies for emotional and sensory regulation. I encourage you to consider the potential benefits beyond any initial roadblocks.

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

I think that's just it, from my position knowing doesnt ease anything, its reliant on others being part of solution with you, which, honestly isn't always an area I would even think would last longer than a week at most, from my experience anyway. I am glad that there are people out there who are able to find their path with the support of those around them, but unfortunately for me, I guess experience has proven things wouldnt be as such. And as I said here, knowing I dont really see what that changes (this could easily be a country bumpkin mentality)

It may be good to have a diagnosis of some sort if there is an issue there so you can identify the best tools to address your challenges. Don’t make life more difficult if it doesn’t have to be so.

If making these videos is a form of self-healing, then that's awesome, but if you need a break, we'll still be here when you get back ✊️

Finding a good therapist was the best decision I ever made for myself. I applaud this decision! I tried out 4 therapists before I found one that I really felt a connection with. If you haven't been in therapy before, make sure to not just got with the first one, if you don't have a strong connection. That's my 2 cents! I am speaking from the vantage point of not really getting along with my first two therapists but sticking with them for months even though I didn't like them that much. Cheers! Looking forward to hearing about your experience. Also, I think it's best to go in person, if you can.

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for the heads up, yes from what I have been told its only the first bit that is a telephone thing the rest is in person.

@grandiosa86

8 ай бұрын

Connor is spot on. I need to start soon to try to find a therapist that I have some chemistry with.

@idontknow8898

8 ай бұрын

My personal algorithm for finding a therapist - figure out the goldilocks price range - A therapist that is cheap, in my mind, is undervaluing themselves, or looking to support low income persons, and a therapist too pricey, is more in it for the money and not to help people - The middleclass bracket to me is the sweeet spot - £40-£50 and hour. Then look at their interests - Psychology is like music or art, there's a spectrum and variety of interests/genres - Find one who has a clear interest, not too specific, and not too broad. Good luck!

Never heard of medication for autism, but did end up getting diagnosed with inattentive ADHD in uni which helped a lot in medication for my organisation. Could look into certain job support groups to broaden your horizons, it's helped me.

Thank you Adam! You´re right, and you articulate your thoughts so good. People who are following you on social media wants to help, yes - but their truth sometimes is not the same as your truth (I hope you understand what I mean), and you have all right to say yes or no. And I agree with you; you need professional help to work with yourself and to understand better who your mind work, your feelings and anything else. Good for you and good luck to you! :)

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Social media support is one thing, not to take it the wrong way but really even here we are all strangers, people here only know of me, what I show. Unfortunately its people in real life, those who know me more and for longer, when they say they are there for you and support you, yet, the moment you try and take a bit of control, it all blows up, it honestly makes everything 10 times more complicated than it needs to be.

Congrats! I think everyone should go to a psychologist

Well done Adam for asking for professional help. I know that the mental health services are on their knees right now, but i think a lot of people convince themselves thats a good reason NOT to contact them. They want to help! it just it might take a bit longer than either side would like.

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Thats just it, its appreciating their situation as you say they want to help everybody as much as they can, but things outside their control make that difficult. All the more reason to take it serious and keep going, that help is there, just got to get to it.

I'm on the spectrum and have dyspraxia. This week a psychiatrist offered to talk to myself and they want me to be screened for ADHD. I can't handle change either it freaks me out really bad. I often can become fearful, irritated Focus / procrastinating and putting things off is something I am really battling with. I buy books, courses on subjects such as web design or computing and sometimes I dont make a start it's like I amp myself up to take action and nothing happens. Parylisis by analysis everything has to be perfect! Or what's the point I'm not good enough intrusive thoughts. I'm late 30s and im still like damm what direction am I going in? It's just a scattered mess of false starts and broken dreams shattered by indecision. It can be so disheartening especially when we compare our selves to others. People say just make a start or do something! But it's not easy when esteem and conficence is rock bottom and you are constantly battling intrusive thoughts and indecisiveness. I relate Adam wholeheartedly. No shame in asking for support and guidance I think I will have to do the same because I cannot continue the way I am literally nothing is being accomplished currently. Stay strong brother

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Think you just nailed it here, 99% of what you have in this comment is how it feels daily for myself too. That disheartened scattered mess of things is just.. well, you know how it is.

I have found the dwindling support circle to be very accurate, that it's great to talk about support but the actual doing of that is something else. Definitely action speaks louder than words. I reconfigured it in my head though of a race where the participants are all huddled together but there is a runner on their own running their own race, as the others fall behind. It can get lonely but it's the knowledge of each day choosing to improve on the day before is motivating and the right people will be with you at the right time. 👍

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Thats a good one actually, thanks!

People who say they support and then disappear as soon as you say no were never supported and wanted to just keep you as you were because them themselves are also comparing to everyone. I've started mindfulness practice and live in Japan. What is funny and interesting is that the people in the west have forgotten mindfulness and as a result mental well-being is not cared for. I live in Japan and my wife is Japanese. She laughed when I said I started Mindfulness as to Japanese society it is just how people live from start. Japanese are taught at a young age to be mindful and have moments of reflect and silence (writing kanji symbols, tea ceremony, etc) this activities are specifically for the act of becoming one with the world and slowing down. ZEN practice is the ability to reconnect with present and world again which is what I'm now practicing. Since then I realised planning to do stuff was not making me satisfied and now I'm completely all about the present and proceed to do the thing I currently want to proceed at the moment. Don't feel that you need to post videos unless you truly want to do so yourself. Don't let distractions and influence make fool your mind into doing things that you truly don't want to do. Self healing is the must important thing.

I think it is good that you have come to the conclutions that you have. Thanks for sharing!

Step 1 : Setting up Camp. Step 2 : Opening up a tin of beer/lager. Step 3 : having fun. Step 4 : dont give a F*ck. Step 5 : see step 1 to 5. My 5 step programm. Good luck! 👍

@joejo4549

8 ай бұрын

Mate that's the worst fucking advice ever 😂😂😂 if he could just get on with it he would've done so already

Some other things I find helpful are: Consciously generating positive emotions several times a day (counterbalance to create equilibrium), Wim Hof breathing method and cold showers (various positive effects on the body and mind, general feeling of more aliveness), full body workout 2-3 times a week (feeling more empowered and less anxious), practicing HeartMath exercises and meditation (braking the thinking-cylces, relaxation).

The fact that your circle shrinks but you are still self-aware and able to assess as detached as possible is a good sign. Know that there are people who are capable of supporting you when you say no and do radical changes for the better, they are probably waiting to meet you. If we were to meet on a park bench and you ranted or rather divulged your thought process to me in this manner I'd be very curious and admirative and I would've liked to be friends. I have the utmost respect for people who overcome their difficulties, and who uplift others in the process.

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Thats very kind of you

hope therapy is going well 💖 xx

Good move on your behalf. Therapy and time to “think” about things talked about within therapy sessions,is the most valuable aspect of self care. Stay strong.

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Thank I appreciate that

glad to hear you are taking the step of talking to a professional! 🤗i am sure this will be very helpful for you and i hope you find someone who you really feel safe to connect with and who helps you feel understood. negative selftalk can actually stem from childhoof trauma and act like an internalized coping mechanism (usually kids are not aware of this and grow up thinking it is normal to put own feelings aside for example). therapy helps so much with questioning own believes that werent healthy and helps detecting the blind spots we have (because we never learned them). i was recommended medication for panic as well but im so glad i chose to work through everything without it (because i probably would have thought the success of therapy came from medication and not myself), luckily it worked. i wish you a good experience talking to a professional and that you can work through things in order to feel happy on the inside 🤗

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Thankyou, onwards and upwards!

It's good to look for professional help. There are also plant based substances like St. John's wort, lavender, passion flower that are used by some people. I'm not a doctor, it's just what I heard. In regards to work, perhaps it's a chance to test some jobs out. Even healthcare might be interesting, depending what it is. Caring for people can be fulfilling and perhaps it's the most meaningful job someone can do. Sometimes getting startet with something opens new doors in general. Like a car that you can steer much better when it started roling. I'm not sure, how it is in your country, but some countries offer special services and advise people and, if necessary, qualify them for new jobs that suit them better. I really think, that a door is opening for you.

Adam?!

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Hi hi. Slow and steady. As good as we get

In my unprofessional opinion I don't think you're on the spectrum unless you're high functioning. I tried to get tested twice at 21 and 27 for autism/asperger's and the GP/healthcare professionals didn't take me seriously after spending 15 minutes and 30 minutes with me respectively. I would imagine you come across more articulate and fleet of mind than myself. Having had a similar conversation with myself when cycling home from work yesterday and after having a really crappy day. I accepted/realised that it's possible I have multiple problems. A mixture of 2-3 of schizoid personality disorder, moderate-high social anxiety and complex PTSD. I'm 31 and have never held down a job for more than 7-8 months, feels like I'm always hanging on by a thread because I struggle to connect with 95% people and that in itself is asking for trouble in a work environment where it seems you're expected to provide workplace banter to distract your work colleagues from the fact that they're actually at work when I want my work to distract me, get my money and go home.

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Honestly wouldn't be the first time iv been a functioning mess, at this point anything is possible. But like I said I personally don't really see a point in knowing on that side of things. But I can totally hear what your saying about going to work for a distraction, unfortunately I guess there's a social aspect to things that not everybody wants to be part of, but its expected 😕

How are you doing today, pal?

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Slow and steady, day at a time

@grandiosa86

8 ай бұрын

@@Add- I try too.

this is your work, silly 🙃

@Add-

8 ай бұрын

Unfortunately it doesn't particularly pay though 😅