just to make a small point. in your video on why you stopped being a therapist you mentioned you never worked with children as you don't think children should be in therapy but in this video you mention you have 'worked a lot with children in many contexts' (at the 2 minute stage of this video). I'm not criticizing your whole video. Just mulling over and thinking about what you say but just wanted to make this point.

@dmackler58

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Rebecca -- thanks for your comment. It's may seem like a small point, as you say, but it's an important one. sorry for the confusion. I didn't work with children as a therapist, but I did work with children a lot in other contexts (as a musician, teacher, camp counselor, etc.). Hope that clarifies it a bit. all the best, Daniel. P.S. I've been asked this several times and have replied several times, and I want to pin this comment to the top comments so that others who are wondering the same thing can see your comment and my reply...but I can't seem to pin it to the top. Do you have any idea how to do this?

@dmackler58

5 жыл бұрын

I just figured out how to pin a comment, so pinned this one!! Daniel

@rebeccamehrshahi5369

5 жыл бұрын

@@dmackler58 thank you for the reply. Really glad you clarified. Sorry if you've been asked before. I'm just reading a book about psychiatry by James Davies called cracked and it explores similar things that you have mentioned so interesting watching your videos which I found by accident. Thanks.

@dmackler58

5 жыл бұрын

@@rebeccamehrshahi5369 Cool Rebecca. I just looked up the book "Cracked" and from I gather it looks accurate! Daniel

@ducman1611

4 жыл бұрын

@robert jenkins Did you even read the book, or chapter 5? or did you infer the chapter based on its title?

Parents like to take credit for their children’s accomplishments but pass blame for their failures. Thank you Daniel.

@tnt01

3 жыл бұрын

100%

@kristenmarie9248

Жыл бұрын

Children like to blame parents for their own failures, and take credit for their accomplishments as if the parents played no role in facilitating them. It works *both* ways. Yet, people, often who are NOT parents, would rather scapegoat the parents for anything that goes wrong in someone's life. Funny how anyone, who has ever lived, has the convenience of having a parent to blame. Yet, society deems abortion as acceptable. Society is SICK BEYOND REDEMPTION.

@Seamannon

Жыл бұрын

​@@kristenmarie9248 Right, that kind of reasoning can go both ways and often does. Know why? Because children learn to mirror other people's behaviours within the environment of their upbringing, particularly their parents' concious AND UNconcious behaviour (as was described in this very video). Who has the power to set a good example in that scenario? Who has the responsibility to care for the other, provide conditions for growth and teach values for future human interactions? Who has the legal and economical power to set standards and to change them within the family structure? The child? You also said that eveyone who ever existed "conveniently" has patents to blame for all their misfortunes. I don't know what kind of point you are trying to make here honestly, because it does really mean that every abusive person that ever existed had parents who had the opportunity and/or responsibility to care for them and be great rolemodels for their offspring, but unfortunately failed at some point due to various reasons, some of them very direct and obvious, some of them indirect. As was mentioned in the video, neglect is also a form of abuse. And how does abortion fit the picture you are trying to paint here? What does it have to do with your other point? If anything, you just made the case for abortion, because that's a procedure for people, who are certain, that they don't want to or are unable to care for a child at that particular moment in their life, so why shame them in to having children and shame them even more for not caring about their children properly, when that was the very reason they were seeking abortion in the first place?

@WateryFire

Жыл бұрын

@@kristenmarie9248 "Yet, people, often who are NOT parents, would rather scapegoat the parents for anything that goes wrong in someone's life." So untrue. A completely emotional non-objective statement. What are you afraid of? Being judged? We all make mistakes, as a parent you're going to make them (which is not the same as abuse) and we usually make them because our parents made them before us and they because of their parents and so on. It's an unpleasant truth but you can't change truth just because you don't like it. And yes as a collective we are sick and have problems, shedding light on these problems and trying to fix them is part of the solution. Or do you know a better way?

@wonderwonder-xr2xq

Жыл бұрын

Yes! In my family, any good things, high marks etc, were acreditted to the the family as a whole - whereas as my failings were mine alone!

This is how critique should be done. Rather than being superficial, you bring decades of your own experience to the discussion and talk about the concept in question rather than being preoccupied with the man himself. Just a level discussion of “what have I observed, and how does the book compare?”. In-depth, passionate, and clean of any ad hominem tangent. Being someone who spends most of my YT time in the critique end of the website, I wish more people reviewed things in this fashion. Thank you.

@RishiAggarwal

Жыл бұрын

My feed shows up too much of JP at times and many of these knockoff videos with very tacky titles. I have an issue with the person also. He seems paranoid to me. I know little of him and need to understand better. He may have sensible things to say but why is he so worked up?

@samwallaceart288

Жыл бұрын

@@RishiAggarwal old comment but overall I still value what JBP brought in his college lectures. What he did was tie classic stories into the context of psychological struggle and compare that in terms of history and true-crime research, making the point that "this scene in Pinocchio is a simplified representation of a male's need to fall in with their group, to sometimes disastrous consequences, and here's the real-world cases where this sort of thing caused great calamity, and here's the personal examples of how it could be affecting your own life". It's an encouragement not to ignore your own struggle, or that of the world, but to see that everything has consequences and every action of change requires work beforehand to happen; and he uses readily-accessible examples from culture as stand-ins for these concepts so you can relate to it and take it seriously. You can go to lectures about "the effects of gang violence" and agree with it intellectually, but then there's lobster-dad pointing out with intense eye-contact "ok but real talk, if _you_ were in a mob and everyone started smashing the windows and graffitiing, odds are _you would too._ And the less you recognize that ahead of time, the more susceptible you'll be to fall into it. You think it won't happen to you, but it will, whether an extreme cartoonish example or something mundane." That's what I respected there at least. The way he drew connections between problems and challenged you to find your own pattern and take your place in this world seriously. He dropped off for me after he got sick and then joined DailyWire. He's on this antagonistic bent against socialist ideals in a way that's clouding his judgment to the point of working in tandem with political mouthpieces; excusing and ignoring the mistakes made on his own side which is very uncharacteristic of how he used to be. He was better as a socio-psychological counselor than he is as a one-sided political heckler.

@lennyvlaminov9480

Жыл бұрын

While I see chapter 5 in another light I think this kind of critique, aside from speculation in JBP's childhood, crusial; it's easy to read JBP and make it into a Bible. It's a guidance. In the end it's up to us to decide what out moral values are and how to raise our children. Personally I think a 2 y o is 90 percent nature and so many parents are not really grown up themselves.

My husband was never allowed to do anything his parents didn't like or do things that made them dislike him. He ended up with a life that wasn't his and has crashed and burned under the immense weight of the pressure. He is 28 and just now beginning to grieve the losses of being treated like an art project one makes from scratch ("let me make you how I want you") rather than something to be "uncovered/discovered" over time ("who are you? who are you becoming?"). I can understand "don't let your children do anything harmful to themselves/something that would bring them harm"; but to do not do anything the parent doesn't like? The whole point of humanity is to be unique and separate from another - that will naturally beget likes and dislikes from others. It's natural. I think this is why we have an entire generation of many boomer parents who cannot fathom their children being separate entities from themselves with needs and wants that don't revolve around them - this sort of thinking is why. They are enmeshed psychologically and view children either as an extension of themselves or their property rather than separate beings you have the gift to guide/coach until they can manage on their own.

@MikaComments

Жыл бұрын

It looks like you are FIXATED on CERTAIN ASPECT & that's scary. How about working out your tendencies that overshadow good judgment in these aspects.

@la381

Жыл бұрын

​@@MikaComments YOU ARE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDERED

@penyarol83

Жыл бұрын

I.e., they are narcissistic parents (definition being - they use their children for their own needs, rather than being a resource that their *children* can use as needed. Abdul Saad of Vital Mind Psychology has a great video on The Childhood Origins of Narcissism that explains this - using your child for your own needs being the origin of narcissism)

@DNA350ppm

Жыл бұрын

Greetings to your hubby and kudos to you for supporting his process. A few thoughts that have helped me: 1) as adults we are allowed to be our own best parents for our inner child, and to try to repair what was wrong when growing up. 2) It is never too late to "have" a happy childhood, which I have understood as to do comforting and helpful things through my adult life, have compassion for my feelings and allow them all, making a distinction between feelings and actions and values - values being the beacons. I do many "childish" things and I bless my child and grandchildren IRL for playing with me, as well as having found my second husband and loving him for being so many positive things in my life, including being my playmate.

@robertdunham2372

Жыл бұрын

@@MikaComments lol just say you’re a boomer who’s offended and refuses to take accountability for your poor parenting

Your channel is a hidden gem on KZread. I love watching your videos.

@shehzadamurthy1983

Жыл бұрын

agreed

@OnePercentBetter

Жыл бұрын

+1

@mrazik131

Жыл бұрын

he just blames others ...not much wisdom in that...

@tonywright8342

Жыл бұрын

Finally someone that knows what is going on.

@penyarol83

Жыл бұрын

@@mrazik131 no... he puts the blame where it belongs... on the perpetrators.

I'm 68. My parents and others of their generation believed in 'molding' the perfect child, not letting them blossom into whoever they wanted to be. Either we complied or we rebelled. Result? Guilt, shame, confusion, depression & unfulfillment of many in my generation.

@YuriLongarms

7 ай бұрын

I just wanted to comment something, and thought your comment is a good point to start. It's not a critique of any way, but just a view that might give you some solace. I have the similar situation as you mentally, but in the different generation. At the same time I see my pierce, who have been tought in the opposite matter. Thus, the freedom of expression parents gave them left them with no boundaries and understanding of how they are suppose to behave in life, how it works, and deep longing for someones attention and guidance, which they paradoxically can't accept, cos they have never been tought to.

@cyndimoring9389

7 ай бұрын

@@YuriLongarms I see your point. Yes, the pendulum can swing the other way, and as a teacher who's observed many young children raised by a variety of parenting styles, there are those children who crave guidance and structure.They make mistakes as adults they should have made as kids with guiding, teaching parents to follow up with them. result? Entitlement, confusion, depression, anxiety, lack of self discipline.

@TheJustinJ

6 ай бұрын

C-PTSD is real.

@cyndimoring9389

6 ай бұрын

exactly right, It hit me out of nowhere and I had to figure out what was going on.@@TheJustinJ

@a.s.3676

5 ай бұрын

​@@cyndimoring9389Sometimes parents just want to "wash their hands off" the mess they have created; they don't wanna make things worse. People see that as lack of responsibility, and think parents should do more... things that caused the problems in the first place!

I worked as a daycare teacher for almost 10 years. It was fairly easy to spot a connection between a child’s acting out and behaviors of the parents, even when only seeing a tip of the iceberg. It was common practice for teacher’s to spot and discuss red flag parents, and say....“Hmmmm”

@olivierf.4931

Жыл бұрын

I worked with teachers and spotted a lot of red flag teachers.

@zoekothe3457

Жыл бұрын

@@olivierf.4931 Lol. This is very true as well!

@meowy4720

Жыл бұрын

@@olivierf.4931 That doesn't mean that a lot of parents don't suck. WTF was your point.

@aWomanFreed

Жыл бұрын

Ever heard of something they call “PANDAS”? Children who are acting out in rage are now said to have this medical condition….but I happen to know the significance of the panda bear to child molesters and so this must be the corrupt mental Health systems idea of a sick joke? Oh inverted world.

@sukhmanicambridge

Жыл бұрын

Sad that the kids don't have an effective third party who can see what's going on and are willing and able to intercede to actually be of some help.

Thank you for your perspective. I would like to add that not a lot of people know that neglecting a child is also abuse and source of trauma that leads to aggression that you mentioned at age of 2. And people tend to underestimate what neglect is and its effects. At very newborn stage, leaving them alone in the crib, not showing affection and communication, all that already starts the retardation of cognitive development. Some people say "Oh, I know friends who are very nice and unlikely to be child beaters at home, but their children still turned out to be uncivilized, biting" etc. Yes, they might not have been directly abusive to the child in the physical sense, but you don't know if that toddler in his infancy was crying all nights long asking to be picked up, but the parents just took it as normal stage for "sleep training" or "he'll learn to self-sooth". That child received a subconcious message that they're unwelcome to this world, or that this world is hostile, and their basic sense of security has not fully formed. Some parents think that the baby consists of only of their physical body and ignore the needs of their mind and soul for healthy development. And then get surprised how could they become "little monsters".

@dmackler58

Жыл бұрын

Yes, yes…and yes!

@myrtila

Жыл бұрын

You put it so well. This is so true

@supersmegma9801

Жыл бұрын

Coddling children is just as bad if not worse than neglecting them. While neglect can be harmful, it will naturally strengthen children, whereas coddling will lead to weak and needy, narcissistic children.

@goldilocks3593

Жыл бұрын

My overall take on him is that he is that he is a frustrated academic. He doesn’t like having to operate within the rules and confines of academia but he doesn’t want to give up the security and benefits of tenure either. I think this makes him very conflicted. There is always an underlying tone of victimhood with him - which is interesting, as he has led a very privileged life.

@rafeeqwarfield9690

Жыл бұрын

100% facts

I also find this rule troubling. You can control what your child does to a certain extent, but you cannot control who your child is.

Thank you for validating trauma. Peterson himself has said how authoritarian his father was and has also talk about his depression and his own daughter depression issues. I think he is justifying how his parents raised him.

@crowstakingoff

5 жыл бұрын

I had never heard that he described his father as authoritarian, do you remember in what video you saw him talk about it

@WaiW41

4 жыл бұрын

He had a strict father. He has never referred to his father as being an authoritarian as a negative impact on his life. Mikhaila and his depression are much of biological disposition as well. Depression does have some biological basis. Considering they do have similar autoimmune symptoms as well, it is a possibility that the depression and autoimmune are linked.

@Jwet1100

3 жыл бұрын

@@WaiW41 Depression isn't biological. It's stemmed from learned helplessness, enmeshment, narcissistic abuse, emotional incest etc.

@WaiW41

3 жыл бұрын

@@Jwet1100 What? I would suggest you read up on the literature. While all the environmental causes you mentioned do play a big role, it's known that genetic disposition to depression can also play a major role in depression.

@turquoiseafro1520

3 жыл бұрын

@@WaiW41 Epigenetics is what's behind genetics though.

Jordan Peterson always reminds me of Iain MacLeod's famous line about Enoch Powell: "I follow his logic as far as I can, but I always get off before the train hits the buffers."

@analozada9475

Жыл бұрын

Great analogy! 🤘🔥💯👏

@scottharrison812

Жыл бұрын

Omg Enoch Powell and JP in the same sentence… and they do both seem to share certain similarities!!!

@machtnichtsseimann

Жыл бұрын

Completely disagree. Stay on the train. He's speaking and searching for Truth. Logos. Resist quotes that appease pride and sloth.

@indigobarefootyoga3598

Жыл бұрын

Perfect

@DiamondsRexpensive

Жыл бұрын

​@@machtnichtsseimannAnother fanboy, huh?

You nailed it! If you learn more of his story you will uncover he never looked at his relationship with his own father.

I knew this was going to be good. I discovered your channel last night and am so grateful that I did. I’m a psychology major and you share all the information and discussion that I’ve been yearning for as I’ve gotten increasingly frustrated with the field. You’re incredible.

I also think that traumatized people tend to seek out partners who have been traumatized and end up marrying each other. So the kids get not only one, but two, broken parents. My siblings also took their issues out on me, the youngest in the family. So now as a child I’m surrounded by 2 parents, two brothers, and a sister who acted out their frustrations and anger on me. I have dissociative identity disorder as a result. Good times…

@ChooseLoveToday316

Жыл бұрын

Hey i'm in a similar boat. I wanted to let you know it does get better. In my case my disassociation is so strong I forget where i'm driving or what I was doing regularly. I am diagnosed adhd as well but imo i just have massive disassociation that acts as adhd. The d.i.d. is kind of an involved convo but yeah I deal with that too. A few things helped me lately. 1. I was prescribed adhd medication 2. I have dopamine system issues. I don't do any substances every day not even sugar or caffeine. My diet, sleep, stimulants, everything is carefully tuned to help me be productive. 3. Theres a ton of self help and therapy I did. I'm 41 I really don't care about the opinions of negative people anymore and I love myself, I love my spiritual higher power and they love me. The best advice I can give people dealing with this stuff is that for me and a lot of people our conditions improved proportional to how much effort we put in. I've been doing one on one, group and self forms of therapy for many years.

@laraoneal7284

Жыл бұрын

N B. YOU are on point 💯. So many ppl do no recovery work ever coming from toxic narcissistic parents/family of origin. Thus they are not self aware at all and yes are attracted to ppl of the same ilk and have toxic marriages and continue the sick attitudes of their parents. Many end up murdered by their spouses. So much TRUE CRIME everywhere on YT. This MO is exposed everywhere today in horrid relationships simply bc no one is examining their family of origin dynamics. Excellent post here, Ty so much for sharing this. I wish ppl had ur observation skills to avoid a lot of tragedy in their lives. 👍👍. I wish u success in healing and u may want to go no contact from ur family. I myself had to go no contact from my parents and siblings bc they too have adopted the identical traits as our parents. It’s amazing to me that out of 7 children in my family I’m the only one who recognizes that the sickness in my family is systemic and how I absolutely at a point wanted nothing to do with any of it or them anymore. I wanted PEACE in my life not narcissistic a-holes. No more drama from my family. God bless you.

@sandyedwards2681

Жыл бұрын

Yes and sometimes it’s trauma-informed parents who are most protective and aware of their children. So trauma cannot be an excuse for bad behavior, even when we all know it is a root cause.

@daryl9799

Жыл бұрын

Yes thats true a generally healthy person mentally with very little trauma who had a decent upbringing aren't gonna vibe with some who has alot of trauma and is generally messed up they won't put up with it cause they have been taught that isn't normal.

@luckyscrote

Жыл бұрын

​@@daryl9799 People that have overcome trauma or have had the fortune of having a healthy upbringing typically spend time with healthy people. I think the reason is even more simple- mentally well people can see through lies and deceit and it makes them uncomfortable. You cannot build a connection because you cannot trust them.

I'm with you on this. Peterson kind of makes me uneasy in his "lectures". Could never put my finger on it but, you did. Thank you for diving in for a closer look. I haven't had the time. Trauma recognition is key to real help, whether it's self-help or guided by others. Hats off, Doc.

@shuangzhumao5728

Жыл бұрын

I also have the same feeling. I feel like his point of views may works for extreme conditions to quickly bounce back from bottoms and lows. Toughen people up for a short period of time. But that wouldn't solve the problem from the roots. Cure the surface but rotten underneath.

@aWomanFreed

Жыл бұрын

@@shuangzhumao5728 He’s a psychologist from McGill. Look up The Allan at McGill. Dr Ewen Cameron. This is his training.

@sainellore6874

Жыл бұрын

That's exactly what I feel about JP and Daniel's analysis; but didn't find the right words. Thank you! After initially going "wow!" after watching a few of JP's videos, I started getting disillusioned with him. Daniel here has really done a great job dissecting the JP phenomenon. To take on a famous celebrity psychologist isn't easy. I now wonder if JP has seen this video and responded to Daniel. Daniel never fails to impress me. He truly is a gem.

@lemsip207

Жыл бұрын

I skimmed through his book in bookshop and then tried to read between the lines and found him wanting. Teenagers aren't all waiting for Godot when they go to parties and then feel they want to go to a more exciting party. Some are there for the food. Some to hook up and they aren't too fussy who they do it with unlike older people who see the baggage and are more likely to have it themselves. Some because they like to dance and they feel less self conscious about dancing than older people. Two year olds cannot possibly be the most violent humans as they can't hit or kick hard.. They might be kicking and punching because they know their kicks and punches haven't much force.

@PaulThronson

Жыл бұрын

Hopefully it's because he is a fascist pig. I believe in forgiveness and the capacity to change but that guy hasn't changed a bit

I always thought that Peterson doesn't have a self-awarness. He's like a showman on stage.

@Amplefii

11 ай бұрын

I remember when he was blowing up and i saw like 2 of his videos and he instantly made my feel uncomfortable and i felt he was very fake. But i didn't bother to think about it any further and just stopped watching him. I think this comment is accurate.

@caixiuying8901

11 ай бұрын

​@@AmplefiiI enjoyed JBP content for maybe 2/3 years ish trying to understand his beliefs from his point of view but came across critiques that were more convincing and man, feel like I jumped ship right as he started to say crazy shit lol

@Amplefii

11 ай бұрын

@@caixiuying8901 what has he been saying>?

@chickenlover657

3 ай бұрын

That's a very foolish thought on your part, and only shows how deeply you misunderstand him.

@user-vo5qo3rn3g

3 ай бұрын

​@@chickenlover657ok fan boy

All therapists are flawed. That doesn't mean that their work doesn't have tremendous benefit. People are responsible for thinking for themselves and not just "trusting" and deferring to "experts". Peterson is a deep-thinker and philosopher. He also seems to very genuinely care about Humanity and individual human beings. He discusses the sacredness of being a psychotherapist in the privilege to hear people's unique life stories. He is flawed. What he has contributed to Humanity is so necessary and valuable at this time. Just the simple act of taking an unwavering courageous stand to the Canadian government and University system, in regard to compelled speech, is a priceless contribution. Very few are willing to sacrifice themselves in the face of true tyranny; he walks his talk.

I have to add this, please. When my son was 2, I never said or chimed in to others who said anything about the "terrible twos", and he never exhibited any if those " behaviors". What I always did was give him reasons, and choices. I believe he grew up to be a most sensitive, reasonable young man. What you feed (focus on) grows. Thank you.

@Kaoren717

4 жыл бұрын

I think there's some truth to this, because despite going into an absolutely neglectful and abusive environment at age 5, I still retained my capacity for kindness and empathy. And it had to be the experiences I had with another family I was with just before, that always acknowledged me, asked how I felt about things, let me ask them tons of questions, laughing, expressive smiling faces, and I think the most important thing, never hit me or gave me the silent treatment when I did something wrong. They would get mad, tell me why, and then everything back to normal. No love withholding. It was only a couple months, but memories are still vivid and strong, especially all the crying out I did for them every time the new family abused me. Had I not ever been with them, would've probably turned into a monster in order to cope with all the abuse.

@amandatenney3028

3 жыл бұрын

It sounds like you raised your child in a conscious manner. Good on you. I wish more people were "conscious parents" and things like physical discipline were just an embarrassment of the past we dare not repeat. "He who does not learn from/remember his own historys doomed to repeat it." That's supposed to be common sense.

@religionishipocrisy

3 жыл бұрын

What an amazing parent you must have been. And what an incredible, valuable gift you gave to your son and indeed, the whole world. Thank you!

@amyevans9042

3 жыл бұрын

I think much of it is disposition. I've tried this with my children, as much patience and tolerance that i can muster. Giving choices, validation, comfort, rolled with punches (literally) and my son still has tumultuous violent tantrums over the wrong colour cup and he's 4 now

@rihannaanna6669

3 жыл бұрын

I absolutely agree that your last sentence sums up a proper attitude in relationships with other people. Whatever you "hand out", multiplies.

I’ve never commented on a KZread video before, but I just had to say how much I appreciate you. I’m a mental health counselor, and I originally found your video about why you stopped counseling. I’ve been in the profession for about 4 years, and have been struggling emotionally and professionally for about a year, and I’m coming to many realizations that you outlined in your “6 reasons” video. I can’t express enough how much your perspective is so spot on with how I’ve been feeling. I feel really alone in my feelings about this, and I feel as if so many mental health professionals emotionally distance themselves from their clients, that I don’t have anyone at the practice I work at to talk to that shares these feelings. I’ve tried to talk with my supervisor, and the advice I’m given is the standard “are you using self-care? If you’re feeling overwhelmed emotionally, put some emotional distance between you and your client.” But the thing is, I don’t feel emotionally overwhelmed by my clients-they’re beyond amazing and I’m seriously honored every day that they share the most intimate parts of themselves with me. It’s the not feeling heard by my colleagues and peers that is emotionally draining. It’s lonely questioning the system that you’re a part of, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you for talking about what others defend so religiously.

@IDontReadReplies42069

4 жыл бұрын

I don't want to sound like a jerk saying this. But as we know, biologically women are much more nurturing and empathetic. Which seems like it would be amazing for counseling professions, but as in your case, it can very well serve the opposite effect. You are too empathetic and it weighs you down.

@nikicabrera7028

3 жыл бұрын

@@IDontReadReplies42069 you've completely missed her point

@MrGallan50

3 жыл бұрын

I understand completely.......I have yet to find someone else to share my positive, or not so positive revelations with

@jellyrcw12

3 жыл бұрын

I hope you are in a place with more peace and doing what you love.

@siyaindagulag.

3 жыл бұрын

@@jellyrcw12 yes mommy.

After watching a lot of JP's lectures and videos I felt there was something missing. Contrary to his work I can relate to Daniel's ideas in so many ways. Thank you for this great video.

@Hotishh99

5 ай бұрын

I think we get so used to listening to people talk who have nothing to say that we don’t even realize that the things he says has no substance

Dr. Spok was the popular one for my grandparents generation and reading what he says gives me the shivers. There are a lot of people who believe in breaking a child’s spirit, people who can’t tolerate the messiness of them - when that’s nature. And happy healthy people grow up to express their true nature.

@trinleywangmo

Жыл бұрын

It was the usual practice here in Europe/Germany. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisonous_pedagogy

@juliehumphreys173

10 ай бұрын

God my mother read Doctor Spock! That probably explains everything. I’ve never read him but even as a kid I knew I didn’t like him. M going to take a look at his work. Thanks for the insight

@camlam5269

7 ай бұрын

I've heard Dr. Spock criticized as being too liberal and modern. I know that he still advised a strict feeding schedule for babies, but that's all I've heard about him in the other direction. What is it about his advice that you dislike?

I agree his tip should be : "If your child does something dislikable from your perspective figure out why you find it dislikable and figure out why your child behaves that way"

@jbolanowski1

5 жыл бұрын

not as catchy but more accurate for sure :) here's the thing though - the reason that certain behaviour is annoying to us might be on us. but it might be that kid is "testing the limits" and it's our job as parents to set those limits. Peterson makes a point against popular Rousseaian "noble savage" approach to parenting (where the child is all good and innocent and if it grows unheappy and evil it's all fault of oprresive culture -meaning parents and wider society). These days You can see many irresponsible parents who don't set any rules for their children. He doesn't try to justify child abuse, really. But maybe he should go more into the details on that one to makes sure that this rule is well-understood (I can see how it can be misleading).

@UpsideDown853

5 жыл бұрын

The Problem isn't just the name, it's lies his conclusions as well. Whether it is rule number 5 or any other of the 12, he comes up with things that simply do not make sense. I would argue that his rule number 1 is the most harmful. Because it sneaks up on you. What he is advocating for is a strict, unforgiving form of self discipline, likening a different - perhaps healthier approach- to laziness. Also, his biology is very off. Though a lot of people seem to meme his lobster theory, it's shows a very poor understanding of biology; approaching human society from an angle of hierarchy amongst lobsters, a species that has NOTHING to do with mammals and is so distantly related to any vertebrate. Truthfully, I can say that a tunicate (Phylum Chordata) is closer to us humans than a f*cking lobster.

@redus2

5 жыл бұрын

Hmm I thought the chapter was more about making sure your kid fits in with other kids. Which also requires a chapter title change.

@redus2

5 жыл бұрын

@@UpsideDown853 What about chapter one sneaks up on you? I don't understand your next sentence, but what do you find wrong with having confidence? The fundamental idea of the lobster is to point out the existence of hierarchies dating back a long time.

@UpsideDown853

5 жыл бұрын

@@redus2 There's nothing wrong with confidence. Where did you get that idea? I am not disputing Peterson's claims because I disagree with having confidence. In fact I believe confidence is a healthy, necessary part of our development and personality. I disagree with his representation of hierarchies. Jordan Peterson equates things that shouldn't be equated. It doesn't matter how long lobsters have had hierarchies, we aren't related. I don't know how well versed you are with phylogenetics, yet lobsters aren't on our branch. We never evolved from lobsters, or from anything from within that branch. Evolution isn't linear. We have more in common with sea urchins... would you base your society on the way sea urchins live? Would you argue that humans have hierarchies similar to sea urchins? No. (hopefully). What Peterson is saying is that nature intended for hierarchies to exist in a very specific manner. Which isn't true. Let me try to give you an example: if someone were to write a book about self betterment, and in their first chapter they discuss confidence. Then that wouldn't be a problem so long they stick to studies on humans or medicine. However, should they give an example about how trees are happier with a lot of sunlight, going on to imply that for your confidence to rise, you need to rise like trees and stand in the sun 4 hours a day; A lot of botanists would be very upset. Never mind the doctors, biologists and many other people. It's just wrong.

Seeing JP speak often makes me feel like he got some traumatic issues. Something went wrong in his life and he's still fighting to get over with that. I don't know if he suffered or suffers from acute depression. But truly loved your video. Thank you.

@ashtonyeager

3 жыл бұрын

He mentioned on JRE at one point that he has suffered with severe depression most of his life. He was talking about how his carnivore diet apparently cured it, and that a single apple cider or whatever made him severely depressed on the verge of panic attack for an entire month. There is definitely something off...

@christianrusin7397

3 жыл бұрын

first of all this men is scientist and clinical psychologist of course he talks about issues people have to resolve when they are asking for help.

@stealthwarrior5768

Жыл бұрын

@@christianrusin7397 why do people try and excuse the bad behaviour of psychos like JP?

@lonelyflower7360

Жыл бұрын

@@christianrusin7397 yeah this man is phycologist yet he can't recognize his own physical problems. That's very strange

@amandawideman8441

Жыл бұрын

I get a strange feeling when I listen to him. He has mostly truthful points and is very smart, but I a lot of anger in his tone in between the lines at times as well as sadness. I don't feel empowered to be a better version of myself and make positive changes in my life. There's a lack of softness there which is generally what a vulnerable person needs when seeing a therapist or seeking healing.

I firmly believe that we have to become children again, with the intelligence and cunning of adults, wearing our true emotions and passions with pride, so everyone can see them and participate, being vulnerable but at the same time not defenseless due to outstanding experience. Only then can we create a world which will not traumatize the next generation. Watching your video I realize that JP probably thinks that trauma is a normal state of being. Instead of resolving it, he accepted it and then went as far as possible. And that is just as far as he got being smart as he is.

@kaxandratapia7157

Жыл бұрын

I really like how you worded that. I believe JP uses his trauma or part of it as an engine of rage and discipline a lot of times on different topics such as this. Man knows what he is talking about, he just doesn’t know how to transform it into healthy actions that will lead to capable humans whose outcomes could differ from what he has experienced.

Thank goodness! A psychotherapist who isn't a grifter for the "free" market. Being able to empathize with people who have suffered trauma is so important. JBP certainly seems to have huge issues of his own which he does not address at all.

@sabinekoch3448

Жыл бұрын

He has done - there are some videos where he talks about his youth - and the misspent bits..😊

@alexxxO_O

Жыл бұрын

@@sabinekoch3448 He's still a quack.

@stoosam3244

Жыл бұрын

JBP talks about 'burning off' the parts of yourself that are not conducive to achieving your better self (my paraphrasing) ....and he says you might have to "burn off" up to 95% of yourself.

@tredjesongen

Жыл бұрын

​@@stoosam3244 he is a classic psychopath. Imo.Depressing how many who dont see right through him. Shows how smart and good he is (was). A has been thank the Lord.

@stoosam3244

Жыл бұрын

Joe Rogan says of Jordan Peterson: "He's really misunderstood ... misrepresented... people think he's some fascist, some 'nazi'....they try to pretend that he's this rascist, homophobic ... alt-right character. He's not by any stretch of the imagination." He has a lot of enemies on both the far left and right because he dismantles their arguments and the vast majority of them can't cope with it. This is a synopsis of his position, in my opinion: Christianity sought truth. This lead to science. Science disproved God. Hence Nietzche's statement: "God is dead". Nietzche said that, without God, homosapiens would make up their own morals. In making up our morals, we become sanctimonious and that leads us to self-righteous conflict and then ultimately nihilism. He said it would lead to mass murder for 200 years. And so, he predicted the death camps of the C20th, explaining the murderous outcomes of Nazism and Marxism in the name of utopian ideology. And we're not out of the woods yet - look at North Korea. So, how do we solve this? Jung said our morality is ingrained, and all our historical myths and stories (including The Torah/Old Testament) are our stumbling, fumbling attempts to find out, understand and explain our ingrained morality and, ipso facto, who we are. How do we bring that morality to the fore? Life is suffering - this is told in the Torah/Old Testament and is the cornerstone of Buddhism (The 1st Noble Truth). Suffering has meaning - no-one is complacent about their own pain. But by taking on suffering VOLUNTARILY, we change our relationship to it. This is symbolised by bearing the cross. So, the individual is sovereign. And if individuals can bear that responsibility and stay TRUTHFUL, they can give meaning to their life in the face of "the catastrophe of existence" (we are born; we suffer; we die). As individuals we are not insignificant and an individual can change everything. One oft cited example is Alexandre Solzhenitsyn, the Russian author [who said "Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth"]. His personal account of Soviet labour camps played a pivotal part in ending the USSR. No-one who wants a peaceful world wants to go back to anything like that. But a lot of current ideology is exactly the same as that which has produced those catastrophic outcomes. So complacency is not an option So, how can individuals learn to bear this responsibility (particular the disenchanted, who feel overwhelmed and chaotic)? The answer is: Through incremental changes in habits, in certain 'crucial' areas, which over time can create a significant improvement for the individual (as demonstrated in the book 'Atomic Habits') That is the basis of "12 Rules for Life".

If your child does something that makes you dislike him, and he does it because of the environment, then MAKE sure you build the RIGHT environment around him, whatever that means for each individual.

I think it would be more accurate to say that people with emotional trauma in their childhood often go on to seek resolution to that trauma from the people around them. So they'll seek out the same type of person that originally hurt them, hoping each time that "this time it will be different". This, perhaps, goes some way to explaining why some people end up with a string of abusive partners.

@tonysimmons5729

4 жыл бұрын

So Sal, while I understand what you are getting at in your statement, it is not commonly thought that people "seek out" more dysfunction in an attempt to "get it right". And further, the common understanding is that people are not aware of this and it is happening on a subconscious level. Are you saying that people are aware of this on a conscious level when getting to know someone new, or in retrospect after another relationship has gone poorly and is mirroring previous relationships? The difference is vital. To me, the latter is true. People realize that the person who they just ended a relationship with is very much like all of the other partners they have had in their lives. The "law of attraction" is the result of being attracted to someone that will closely resemble other people the person has had failed relationships with in the past, but that is not obvious to the person at all as they are getting to know the new person. The person may even think, "finally, I have found a different kind of person!" Then time goes on and the relationship ends as many have before. Another possibility is that the person is becoming aware of the chemistry between themselves and the new partner and then on somewhat of a subconscious level, sabotages the relationship so that it will end like the others have. Then not even be aware that they created the breakup. This is complicated and probably almost completely different in detail for every relationship that has ever existed. I am sorry I went on and on here but I wanted to make sure you understand that the common wisdom is that the "knowing" is on a completely subconscious level.

@firehorse9996

4 жыл бұрын

@Sal Paradise “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn.”

@aymenblue2841

4 жыл бұрын

Repetition compulsion is a neurotic defense mechanism that attempts to rewrite childhood history, typically the troubled relationship with the opposite sex parent from one’s family of origin. When a child has an early parental relationship filled with abandonment, neglect, abuse, rejection or intense frustration and disappointment, they are put in a difficult place psychologically. In order to survive, the child has to deny the reality of their situation, including their strong emotions of anger/rage, depression and despair. To overcome these intense emotions and maintain their state of denial, children will instead cling to hope. This hope is a childish one where the young person believes that if only they could be good enough, smart enough, perfect enough, etc., their problem parent will finally love them unconditionally, as they long for and need to be loved. They mistakingly believe that they (the child) are the problem and they hold the power to fix the situation by becoming someone more acceptable to the parent. Even though they try desperately over and over again to fix the relationship, they cannot. They do not understand that the problem lies with the parent, not them. The wounded child continues to cling to the hope throughout childhood and into adulthood in order to avoid falling into despair. Once an adult, the wounded person has, like most adults, an uncanny attraction for someone of the opposite sex who resembles in some fashion (either psychologically or physically) the parent with whom they had difficulties. At this point, the inner child is calling the shots and the person is making the choice for this parent-like mate unconsciously. The decision is made in the subconscious, which is why repetition compulsion is a neurosis

@salparadise1220

4 жыл бұрын

@@tonysimmons5729 No, I mean that all that I said happens "subconsciously". It would be odd indeed to be aware of such a drive and to give into it.

@salparadise1220

4 жыл бұрын

@@aymenblue2841 Yup, that's what I said, though perhaps not as technically correct. It's something I'm now aware of, having lost 40 years to doing just this very thing.

Thanks. Kids are no "cruel monsters". It's crazy to see it like that even

When I was 11 my dad, in a fit of rage after stepping on one of my toys, threw me face first into a closet where my toybox was kept. He had built it himself and it was pretty simple and had these sharp corners. I grazed it face first and luckily it just split my lip, but if I'd hit wrong it could have disfigured me or, if I'd been really unlucky, killed. Afterwards I threatened to call child protective services on him and dad laughed in my face, asking if I thought I'd be better off as an orphan cared for by the state. He was right and I knew it, I was better off with him, financially stable and merely willing to risk killing me when I acted out. I didn't call. Years later when dealing with a mental health crisis my fad laughed at me for seeking professional help, accusing me of trying to work the system like "you always do." His example was that time I threatened to call cps on him. In his mind as an adult I'd recognize how foolish I was as a kid. When I reminded him about throwing me in the closet he shut up and has never brought that concept or incident up since. It's as close to an apology as I'm likely to get. For years I think I'd internalized the belief that I had been a bad kid, that I was a scam artist always out to work the system in my favor, despite the fact that I do not live my life that way and in fact usually reject even the assistance I'm owed by whatever systems I interact with. This encounter with dad opened my eyes slightly, still a lot of work to do, I still internally believe I am the problem, most of the time.

Upon first *seeing* Jordan Peterson, my perception was REPRESSION. I was immediately repelled by him. I can't seem to see the exterior without seeing the interior. He "felt" positively creepy. And, as I listened, he was *negatively* creepy. High intelligence does not confer goodness or wisdom upon a personality. In his case, I believe he hides behind his IQ. 🐯

@tnt01

5 жыл бұрын

I agree with you. Something about him is not right.

@nicklozoya2945

2 жыл бұрын

“There are no beautiful surfaces without terrible depth”- Nietzsche I can also spot a madness in Dr Peterson. Someone who has dealt with some of the suffering that life brings. But I’d rather hear from a man like that. Than one who is naive and oblivious. Because his life was easy. And his character wasn’t built through the ruggedness that this world brings.

@luciaaa233

2 жыл бұрын

Immediately repelled, that was me, too

@kierisuizahn261

2 жыл бұрын

Creepy? You have issues

@immanuelcunt7296

2 жыл бұрын

You've got psychological issues.

I raised my kids to grow up to be people that I could associate and be friends with as adults. It has worked out very well. I like them. They like me.

Thank you for having a genuine critique of JP that isn't a big dump on him and his entire existence. Too many people, even in this comment section, try to bury him in their own unresolved self-hate and mistrust. It's one thing to disagree with someone, but it's another to write paragraphs and make videos trying to discredit everything about him. I read this book when it came out and I found there was a lot of info that helped me and over time I've found my own critiques about him, and your video pointed out some important flaws that I wouldn't consider. Love your channel

@sylvaindescoteaux4208

11 ай бұрын

Thinking is difficult that's why most people judge - Carl Young

@honeymoonavenue97

9 ай бұрын

I don’t have self hate or mistrust in myself, yet I recognize Jordan Peterson went from making motivational content to preaching purity culture, hating on single and childless women, and transgender people. You can see why people would be angry when someone claims they still preach about inspirational topics yet they hate on people.

When I came across Jordan Peterson on KZread, I realized some of the things he preached made perfect sense but some of the things were quite disturbing. The problem of having such a teacher is that he'll lead you astray and you'll not even know it.

Please keep making videos. Your perspective is important. Thank you.

Having trauma as a child from my primary caregivers I cant tell you how much I appreciate you taking the arms in defence of the children

This guy is the most underrated Genius. Jordan Peterson's work has helped me a lot (*in general*) in the past 6 years, but since I refuse to let my brain go sideways, and having been in so described around 14:50, I am so glad to hear literally all the questioning I had upfront from someone else... That's very interesting. ID ABSOLUTELY LOVE to listen to both them on a podcast, but it should have at least 3h!!!! ❤ In a polarised world we live in, this is virtue.

I totally agree with you, David. We need to see kids for who they are. Children are basically helpless. They need gentle care and empathy. Understand the child from the child's perspective. They will learn what it is to grow up as a healthy adult this way.

Bad behavior isn't always about oppressive parents. Children acting out can also be the result of overly passive/protective parents who fail to teach their children how to self-regulate and don't set appropriate boundaries with them. I think what Peterson meant (I've listened to a lecture he gave on the subject) is that children shouldn't be mollycoddled which is what happens with a lot of modern parenting these days.

@00samira00

Жыл бұрын

But that’s still trauma being overly protective or being so anxious and afraid of things that you pass that on to your children. Mollycoddling is still oppressive . A child will absorb and reflect the parents therefore you need to look at your own issues and no assume that your child is just inherently bad.

@anta3612

Жыл бұрын

@@00samira00 I said nothing about a child being inherently bad. What I said is that children can respond negatively to different parenting styles and not just oppressive/overbearing ones. That's you reading something into my comment that's not there (perhaps you should check your issues before advising others to check theirs).

@pattiepepper6217

Жыл бұрын

Yes exactly. Jordan was talking about not letting the child become shunned and outcast because they never learn manners.

@willowway9552

Жыл бұрын

@@00samira00thank you for this insightful comment. Absolutely “mollycoddling” is just another form of unresolved parental issues. The books: Toxic Parents and My Mother myself have good information on the traumatic origins of “overindulgent parents”. Btw, I completely agree that “physical punishments” are not the answer.

@Lisa-pw2he

Жыл бұрын

Yes, well said. I have listened to, easily 30 of Peterson's talks. He describes what you are saying about his meaning repeatedly in those talks; he's consistent. I've never read his book itself, perhaps he doesn't write this rule well. I also see that he could have unresolved childhood trauma in this realm. I recall, distinctly, that he speaks about the detriment to the child who is so poorly socialized that by the age of 4 or 5 other children don't want to play with them....poor socialization of the toddler leads to a whole other challenge to their further development which needs to occur through peer interaction.

I think the best defense to rule #5 is that his point was to not let yourself have any legitimate excuse to hate your kids, as it can be a problem if one is authentic here (and a problem if one isn't authentic of course). I will say I think the analysis done here is amazing, superior, and more in-depth. There are bad ways of enacting rule #5, is one thing I get from this video.

I pass by every video of Jordan Peterson - and he has a lot of them! - because he completely creeps me out. That's enough information for me.

Holy shit this is very accurate, I can't believe I missed this... As a child who refused to believe he was traumatised, but an adult who is now trying to accept the responsibility for this trauma and how it's affecting my behaviour, this struck a very resonant chord.

FINALLY i see a video where someone criticizes J B Peterson on the content of what he actually says and writes. Usually they just use arguments like "he uses overly complicated language to explain a simple thing in one hour" or "he's like literally Hitler". That rule about the children is actually the major problem I have with Peterson, it has always seemed authoritarian for a man who so fervently disavows authoritarianism.

@dmackler58

5 жыл бұрын

thanks. Daniel

@davidjohnson8655

5 жыл бұрын

This is all about philosophy, but he doesn't mention that at all. His entire argument is based on his belief that humans are born good, which is an old and thoroughly debunked view on human nature, and clearly way out of his area of expertise. As JBP would say you can't even begin to citicize him for his ideas because they are actually Jungian ideas. To be fair its just a critique, he obiously isn't omniscient, but for a guy so interested in evidence he talks a lot without any of it.

@Emperordmb

5 жыл бұрын

Well I personally put it in the context of the entire book which also has the rule about not bothering kids when they're skateboarding, and taking the two together I think strikes an appropriate balance.

@manictiger

5 жыл бұрын

Well, he definitely has a huge Christian bias. Bible says, "respect your parents and elders" or something to that affect. I vehemently disagree with it. I think you should "try" to be nice, but if someone's an idiot or douchebag, you have no obligation to respect them, internally, in your mind. Here's another bible quote: The truth will set you free. Be honest with yourself, even at the expense of your "respect" for people that don't fucking deserve it!!!

@derekbaker3279

4 жыл бұрын

@Insidious Sid Please elaborate...

My parents sucked. they divorced when I was 7. I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. when we were little, he'd spit on me, or claw me with his nails or hit me or whatever. My mom took the "survival of the fittest" approach. sometimes we'd fight right in front of her, and she'd do nothing. she figured the stronger one would win, and the situation would sort itself out. she didn't care who won. My dad, on the other hand, would yell at BOTH of us, regardless of who was the troublemaker. I guess he just expected me to let my brother victimize me. Once, when I was 13, I hit my brother in the nose and bloodied his nose. He said something that pissed me off, i can't remember what now (I'm 42). I'm happy I did that, it's not like either of my parents were gonna defend me.

@pastthefog6514

Жыл бұрын

I’m sorry this happened to you.

@trinleywangmo

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes we just have to defend ourselves! Good on you!

@zah936

10 ай бұрын

Good on you

@valentina47734

6 ай бұрын

My younger niece is 2.5. She's trying to do this to her older sister. Me and her grandmother always say to her to respond back to her sister or whomever else tries to attack her. But never hit first.

I realized this a while back. As a society parents get all the credit for a child's success but their failures are their own

I fully understand and respect why you no longer do therapy. You are one in a million. I can only hope you continue sharing your thoughts online. Your insight is invaluable!

True story: I read Peterson’s book when it first came out, and I thought of you when I got to that chapter. At the beginning of this video, I guessed that this is the chapter you had an issue with. However, I don’t think Peterson would necessarily disagree with what you say about trauma. He was making a different point entirely - namely, he was admonishing a culture that exists in which parents let their children do whatever they want, because they believe rules will destroy the natural goodness of children. Indeed, the fear parents have in creating boundaries for their children might itself be due to trauma.

@goncalomoreira1217

5 жыл бұрын

It's possible to raise children with boundaries without Peterson's approach to disciplining. It seems that Peterson is somewhat a behaviourist in his approach, as I've seen him defend positive and negative reenforcement as the main way of disciplining. That's a very narrow view of human behaviour in my opinion.

@plowerrr3

5 жыл бұрын

Gonçalo Moreira Can you elaborate? What do you think is a better way to discipline children?

@goncalomoreira1217

5 жыл бұрын

@@plowerrr3 There's evidence that both rewards and punishments are not very effective when it comes to disciplining a child. Apparently rewards tend to reduce intrinsic motivation to do a certain task and it seems that you need to increase the rewards over time for it to continue being effective.. Punishments also tend to "work" on the short term but seem to be dependent on an increase in intensity over time. Besides the fact that they're don't help us to clarify what are the roots of behaviour - feelings, needs, etc. - and aren't skill-building activities. They don't teach you how to do something better, they don't increase your awareness of your needs and how to be more effective in meeting those needs,. Fortunately, humans are a bit more sophisticated than this and are very very responsive to role-modeling coming from people they have a strong and good relationship with. Assuring the quality of the relationship, teaching, guiding, role-modeling is incredibly effective. But it's a very difficult thing to do because for that to work we need to embody the values and behaviours we want the child to learn. Tough! But miraculous in my (limited) experience. When the means of guiding are consistent with the ends (which in my case means helping the child learn values like respect, assertiveness, honesty, empathy, compassion, truth, courage, etc.), things tend to work better. That means that the way you teach your child should be respectful, assertive, honest, compassionate, loving, truthful, etc. Is spanking a child a good embodiment of these values?

@plowerrr3

5 жыл бұрын

Gonçalo Moreira I agree that role modeling is extraordinarily powerful. I would be surprised if Jordan Peterson didn’t believe this himself. Indeed, it bears some resemblance to his other rule “change yourself before you change the world.” However, I don’t believe it is always practical. For one, a child will often try to push boundaries to see how much this role model is willing to accept, and how strong he/she is willing to stand for it. It is possible to punish and reward with respect. You’re essentially telling the child that this is not how a person behaves, and when you do this, there are consequences. As Peterson writes, if children don’t learn where the boundaries are now, society is a much harsher disciplinarian later in life. Second, it is wishful thinking to believe we’re all perfect. We are not, and thus it is inevitable that children will learn some undesirable things. I think it’s reasonable to take the position that one should continuously work on themselves while still punishing and rewarding children for behavior that you know is desirable/undesirable.

@goncalomoreira1217

5 жыл бұрын

Regarding your first point, I agree the child tests boundaries and if you want to teach them assertiveness you need to be able to communicate your boundaries as a parent. I don’t think rewards and punishments tend to be the best option though, for the reasons I mentioned above. We don’t need them to assert boundaries, even though we think we do. Regarding your second point, I agree children need very frequent guidance to learn how to live. They learn things that don’t work very well, etc. But again, rewards and punishments tend, in my opinion, to not work very well when you want to teach them behaviours that are desirable or undesirable. Maybe it’s not clear what I mean by role-modelling. It doesn’t me just hoping that the child will copy your behaviour by observing you, even though in a way it does. This kind of approach implies a different mindset and maybe a different view of human nature. For me, it was and continues to be a challenge to the way I used to think, but the more I’m able to integrate it, the better results I get with children. It’s difficult to go into more detail on a youtube but if you want to explore a bit more (and I urge you to do so because it’s extremely interesting, challenging and effective in the long-term), you may want to check authors like Jane Nelson, Laura Markham, Adele Faber, and others (there are videos on youtube). I can give you other recommendations. You may feel, in the beginning, that they are full of s***, but I can assure you they’re not, it works. It’s just very different from the way most of us were raised and because of that it feels really weird, idealistic and not practical, but it works, even though it takes a lot of practice to be able to implement it effectively. Think of it like playing an instrument. You usually need at least 10 years of deliberate practice to achieve I high degree of competency. People who quit after a year of trying usually don't get very far. But it works if you persist, and I know it because I'm a pianist ;)

I've needed your content in my life for a long time Dan. I've felt, experienced and believed a lot of what you say about parents passing on trauma to their kids. I'm always met with resistance, people not only dont want to be held accountable, they would rather continue the vicious cycle that hurts their child. I never listen when parents say their child is the most important thing, everyone can and does lie. Only actions can determine whether you truely do put the child first.

Its incredible how i realised being just a teenager that I would only have children once i healed from the madness of my family and society i was born into. 36years old, still healing, but things are getting better.

Bless you. You've put your finger on something huge, and explained it so very well. I was riveted.

I had the EXACT same reaction to rule #5. Thank you for being a voice of decency and reason in this world.

@maxwang2537

Жыл бұрын

I’m another one frowning when hearing that rule.

@vivvpprof

Жыл бұрын

What Peterson meant is don't let your children's behavior get so bad that you have to shout at them and punish them and get angry with them. In other words, set limits and boundaries. And don't let yourself get so angry that you reject the child even for a moment. I read about a mother via a Facebook, it was a friend of a friend of a friend, and anyway she got so angry at her son for failing an exam or something that she actually drove him in front of an orphanage to threaten him. Imagine that. I mean in this case she needed therapy badly but you get the idea. Basically if your child is so loud that you can't work, just gently signalize it, don't wait until you're livid. That's what the rule is about.

@cyndigooch1162

Жыл бұрын

​​@@vivvpprof I'm wondering if you watched the video because Jordan Peterson doesn't acknowledge that the parent/s and/or other so-called caregivers are usually the cause of the child's difficult behaviour in the first place and even recommends abusing children as a way to "discipline" them. 🙁

@crazyman2188

Жыл бұрын

​@@cyndigooch1162 I haven't seen the part where he encourages abusing children I'm curious as to what video you are talking about.

@TheOfficialNicely

Жыл бұрын

@@vivvpprof Thankfully someone has read the book here

Watching this 4 years later and JP’s credibility is at an all time low

"Met" JP through the Jungian series of lectures he posted on KZread. The series I was fascinated by was the one wherein he pretty much interpreted the bible in Jungian terms -- something I'd been longing to see for decades. Loved it. Despite JP's personality (sometimes derisive and angry) I never felt like I was required to agree with everything he thought or said. I watched a few interviews with feminists after he got in trouble with them and it seemed obvious to me that he was talking Jungian while they were talking something else and misunderstandings obviously resulted. That sais, he clearly doesn't "get" how angry women are about 6,000 years of oppression. Then, he had his serious benzo crash that really ruined his life. I was surprised that he didn't know how dangerous these chemicals were and how many people had been crippled by them. But, apparently he was just trusting the docs that prescribed them. That was disappointing. Now, he seems to have gone off the tracks in the big way -- just a terrible train wreck. It's sad.

First we need to define what exactly is a Jordan Peterson.

@zachmorgan6982

2 жыл бұрын

@@smiley122688 no its a Jordan peterson joke about Jordan peterson. The meta is real

@XXISecolo

2 жыл бұрын

A pop psychologist which sells simplified ideas?

@ashsqx3246

2 жыл бұрын

@@XXISecolo spot on

@cascadehopsrule

2 жыл бұрын

With globalist backing. I find it odd he preaches about Bible lessons, yet doesn't believe in Jesus. Perversion at its finest

@ashsqx3246

2 жыл бұрын

Yes he does have globalist backing, same as elon musk. Your comment is censored btw, mine will be too probably

By the way, another take on the "Spare the rod" comment. The rod spoken about is a shepherds crook and is a rod of correction to help the sheep know which way to go, to guide them safely and with care, not to beat them senseless if they strayed from the flock. A Shepard protected his sheep, even to the point of giving up his own life to save one of them. He never beat the sheep into submission with his rod. “Thy rod and thy staff comfort me”. But many people who believe in hitting and abusing children use “spare the rod, spoil the child” to justify child abuse. Just my two cents worth as a Christian. Its one reason why Jesus was called The Good Shepard.

@ChannelMath

5 жыл бұрын

no. "thy rod AND staff...". The rod is not the staff

@franklinmarichal

5 жыл бұрын

I think the bible can be interpretted in many ways and as such shouldn't be seen as a dependable source of understanding about human relations and psychology like the way that trauma occurs in us since the mythos and such can be seen in many ways.

@avenlouis1486

5 жыл бұрын

NB Thanks for the insightful two cents. I never thought of it that way...Regardless of how the Bible meant it, the child correction that you speak of seems much more beneficial to the child and is the loving way that Jesus treated children.....even telling us to become like them if we want salvation, not for the children to become like us which is the mistake that most parents make. There are many benefits for adults to be more child-like including better imagination that is necessary for successful manifestation of goals. I'm struggling to rekindle my ability to imagine back to the way it was before being exposed to so much tv 'programming'.

@TheShadowpatterns

5 жыл бұрын

The phrase 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' is not in the Bible. It's from a poem by Samual Butler.

@tobir693

5 жыл бұрын

@@TheShadowpatterns Proverbs 13:24

2:12 that rule bugged me too. Don’t let your kids do something that makes you dislike them… Thanks for putting your finger on it. The rule opens up kids to so much crazy. What about kids naturally doing things that trigger their parent’s unresolved trauma. You are so right. So many parents abuse their kids when the kid brings up feelings in them that they don’t want to look at. In fact I think it is fair to say that all child abuse happens under this mindset - projection of the parents shadow onto the innocent child. Thank you for helping me see this.

I like many of your videos and you offer a different perspective, which is great. I would like to add that your explanation of disproving of Jordan Peterson's rule #5 imo actually proved his point at 11 min in to your video. Show your children what you like, praise them for it, and don't let them do otherwise (teach them otherwise). You could get into semantics etc. but I see nothing wrong and see it as a simple and powerful message. I don't feel the need to pick it apart in that way but to each their own.

@jamm_affinity

6 ай бұрын

Right, I don't think he's being very charitable here. It's not that you try to mould your child into an exact copy of yourself. It's that you try to instill meaningful values that have served you in your life. What parent doesn't do that? He has major issues with his parents, so he probably has some of his own unresolved traumas, considering it's all he talks about. Intellectually he has probably resolved them, but having parents that reject the core of your being is extremely hurtful. I don't know much about his history, but he sounds gay to me. If he is gay, and the parents were not okay with that, I can definitely understand how that would leave a permanent scar on a child and ultimately, lead to the types of views he has about parents being these evil creatures, constantly passing on unconscious emotional baggage to their children. Ultimately if you can't accept your children as they are, it's probably best to not have a relationship with them after they are adults. I think what causes a large part of issues with relationships with your parents is if either the child or the parent is set on trying to fix the other after the child reaches adulthood. It basically means that they don't like or respect each other, which is sad, but it happens. The only people I know who obsess about trauma are people who can't let go of the past. He struggled to let go of his past in his life (rightfully so), which is why trauma is his primary concern.

I've got a father who thinks like JP. I broke off contact a few years ago......

@sorrowheart8732

5 жыл бұрын

:)

So true! I’m a foster parent and I use to try and “fix” traumatized children. I one day had an epiphany that I had to except them for who they are and allow them to be dysfunctional. The key is to be an example to them of unconditional love snd acceptance!

@michaelmurray8416

3 жыл бұрын

@Smally Bigs : You don’t have a clue at what I’m talking about!

@michaelmurray8416

3 жыл бұрын

@Universalis Ted : Well, I did get 9 likes, so no one understands? Ok? I’ve fostered traumatized kids! Kids that have witnessed their Mom being shot by their drug dealing Dad! Kids that have been sexually trafficked by their Mom! These kids will have behavioral issues! When they act out you can’t blame them! It requires allot of grace and understanding! We take foster classes on being trauma informed, these kids have PTSD and their brain chemistry literally changes! If you take traumatized kids in and expect them to behave normally you are sadly mistaken! I learned this from experience! Change takes time! You have to allow them to be themselves! Hope this isn’t too “ambiguous” and can shed some clarity on what it’s like fostering traumatized children!

@mauiswift6391

3 жыл бұрын

@@michaelmurray8416 you are right, the first one did not know what you were talking about and the second one was being a jerk, it was very clear what you were attempting to convey.

@PhoonBucgeneMY

3 жыл бұрын

It's not straight forward one way street for parenting. Can't use the same way we teach normal children and expect them to work with abused children. Well said and appreciated.

@sidstovell2177

Жыл бұрын

How lucky your foster children are. I salute all foster parents. Not nearly enough due to so many children suffering due to parents' drug addiction, eyc

30 years ago I brought up my babies in the attachment style. They were wonderful toddlers. One tantrum each. That’s all. My son didn’t want leave the playground, and my daughter through the famous tantrum at the supermarket. They new mommy was there for them, but wouldn’t fall for the manipulation😂 They are wonderful loving independent adults. And my daughter just had a baby. She’s doing the same as I did.

I get uncanny valley vibes from him the same way I do when I encounter a narcissist. I’m not saying he is a narcissist, but something’s definitely off

Dr Gabor Mate mentioned several times that JP has unresolved trauma.

@BrianScalabrineMVP

5 жыл бұрын

do you know what video I'm curious about this

@crowstakingoff

5 жыл бұрын

1 2 It's in his interview with Rebel Wisdom. By the way I think he's wrong about this. I would like to hear what you think after you listen to Maté's analysis

@BrianScalabrineMVP

5 жыл бұрын

CrowsTakingOff thanks, I’m not sure about Gabor Mate. A lot of people like him and there have been a few of his videos I’ve liked but I feel that he mischaracterizes Peterson and his views “evil marxists out to get us” that’s not what Jordan thinks it’s much more complicated and thought out than that. There’s also this whole “processed trauma” thing that I just don’t buy. I think Jordan would say he is angry because he should be angry given the circumstances if he wasn’t angry then nothing would change. And trauma is in many people the spur that gets them to change. I feel like Gabor Mate’s view on human nature is a little too optimistic as we can see with a lot of the Marxist types and a lot of them are compassionate people who think that everyone is like them, most children just given to their own devices doing whatever their whims are selfish cruel pieces of shit. We all have to repress aspects of ourselves if were to not be in mayhem. Children aren’t smart enough or skilled enough to channel all these parts of themselves in a way that isn’t detrimental to others and themselves in the long run.

@blackdogclinic602

5 жыл бұрын

@@BrianScalabrineMVP Compassion is our best survival mechanism. Be compassionate or be extinct. aeon.co/videos/dont-misread-darwin-for-humans-survival-of-the-fittest-means-being-sympathetic?fbclid=IwAR3ddKA7e18GuSSTiND6jq7jTacBf-IJ2F9sKp3KLo68qw9Xq4cVFcKlme4

@themetamorphosisofgipsy

4 жыл бұрын

@@BrianScalabrineMVP You are so wrong and I really hope you are childless! Please don't procreate! Your way of thinking about the way children are is what's wrong with society and why so many children suffer in silence. Grow some empathy!

"It depends on what you mean by Jordan Peterson".

@paddyt4043

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😭🤣🤣

@watcherwlc53

4 жыл бұрын

🤣

@barzinlotfabadi

3 жыл бұрын

That's actually going to be title of his autobiography

@souljacem

3 жыл бұрын

Devya Dixit This is actually a very valid question. Jordan has a lot of different sides to him.

@devdixit2440

3 жыл бұрын

@@souljacem If you need to refuse to answer yes/no and always accuse your opponent of mischaracterizing your convoluted argument, the flaw is with your argument.

If the abuse starts before the child can remember, it can be INCREDIBLY difficult for them to see through the manipulation. I am almost 22 years old personally, and I just discovered the last pieces to this horrible puzzle only a few days ago. Also, my parents have always had an obsession with Peterson, go figure. Still shaking off the shock, got a lot of maturing to make up. Stay safe out there. sirk saw

Yes. It’s such a shame that most of us don’t realize we have unresolved traumas until we become parents.

I just realized that not letting your children do anything that makes you dislike them is one way parents can pass on their dysfunction, their mental illnesses, to their children. Peterson has tremendous repressed rage, and he often, without realizing it, talks about that rage. Not tolerating children is one way to express such rage. Complaining that it's not acceptable to hit women, or at least communicate the possibility of hitting a woman, is another expression of repressed rage.

@sylvaindescoteaux4208

11 ай бұрын

hitting women is cowardise at its highest form, its lashing anger without control onto another person , which is a women ....lets say its easier to hit a women than a men , ain't it ;) Cowards and bullies do that because they get away without opposition , but hitting another that defends himself with same strenght has you , demands courage which men that hit women dont have! I will assume you hit women for saying that . Get help if you do !

@zah936

10 ай бұрын

​@@sylvaindescoteaux4208spot on

Peterson describes children as "little balls of potential", which is why he seems them as good and bad, and not just fundamentally one or the other. He also doesn't see misbehavior as fundamentally bad *per se*, as it can be a child's natural demeanor to want to push boundaries with people to find out where exactly they are, and specifically with young boys, some levels of aggression and competition are a primary form of playing and forming bonds with one another. While you may be correct in that much of a baby's misbehavior can be mirroring traumatized parents or responding to said parents, I think it's extraordinarily disingenuous to presume that babies are simply born fundamentally good and it's the trauma of their reality that introduces evil into their lives. As far as I can tell, you have no more proof for that claim than Peterson does for his. And really, there are plenty of scenarios that I think points to Peterson being more correct. If a small child innocently uses permanent markers to make a mural on your hallway's walls (something I personally did as a child), you wouldn't explain that away as a trauma response, despite it being mildly destructive behavior in some way (and certainly a hassle for the parents), as it's clearly an innocent act of spontaneous, childish creativity and passion. I think you and Peterson are kind of talking over each other a bit here, and I think he'd actually agree with a lot of what you're saying. His point is, don't let yourself come to hate your child enough to torment/abuse them, but his sticking point is enforcing boundaries with the children rather than practicing patience and tolerance with children (ie. in some way, putting the responsibility on the child rather than the parent, which I don't fully agree with). But I think he does that because, at the end of the day, he is a conservative, and he does believe that it's a parent's job to make sure that their child doesn't just grow up loved and cared for, but also socialized and *socially desirable*. Peterson could've coined Rule #5 as, "don't let your kids do anything that will make society ostracize them", and it would make about as much sense. And you guys will just always fundamentally disagree on that point, I think. Clearly your life experiences have led you to finding success and (I hope) happiness in finding yourself and rejecting the social constraints that were placed upon you when you were younger. Peterson's story is essentially the exact opposite. Whereas you're a voice for the outcasts, the traumatized, Peterson is a voice for but more specifically young men who increasingly don't have a father figure in their lives, and who have no idea what it even means to be a man, or what their place in the world is.

@sahr366

8 ай бұрын

Wow.

Absolutely brilliant. And I totally agree with your analysis of Jordan. I've read his work and watched his presentations over the years and also witnessed the shocking changes his experience seems to have wrought upon him. My honest feeling about him is that he is one of the most tromented souls I have ever seen.

@ec8787

Жыл бұрын

Tormented ?

@deborahackroyd1036

Жыл бұрын

@@ec8787 Yes, that's what I meant 🤣

@RainyMood90

Жыл бұрын

He leads quite a fulfilling and functional life, I'm afraid there are people who due to their issues will never even experience the warmth of a relationship or the satisfaction of receiving a salary

@WendyWatersctmm

6 ай бұрын

I think he's very nasty and uses his position to bully other people. Horrible man.

I randomly discovered your channel and I'm so glad that I did. You clearly put a lot of empathy and thought into what you say.

I wished Danial Macklers book "Breaking from your parents" would be as popular as 12 rules for life.

I can think of many things to describe Mr. Peterson but extremely precise in his language is not one of them 😂

@MeatPeddlar

7 ай бұрын

He is precise in order to win/not lose a debate, but not in communicating or effectively sharing ideas…

Oh man when he said, "it starts at the top" meaning the parents, it made me think about how my mother would say to me, when I was struggling with unfairness among my siblings, "It has to start somewhere." But she was implying that it needs to start with me and I was the one in her mind to make whatever sacrifice was at hand in the moment. Oh and if I didn't want to make that sacrifice, I was selfish. "Don't be so selfish" she'd say.

Yeah, I am a Gabor Mate girl, however, he thinks all parents are doing the best they can and they all love their children. I can say that part of his take, I absolutely do not agree with.

@blackdogclinic602

5 жыл бұрын

I don't think you understood what he meant. He says all parents are doing the best they can with the resources they have. It doesn't mean they are not abusive, traumatising, damaging to children. It just means they are themselves so traumatised they have no other resources. It doesn't excuse them, and in fact part of the healing is realising how much damaged they have done in your life and accepting that they didn't have your best interests at heart. However this is, unfortunately, the best they could do because they didn't do the healing for themselves and passed on the trauma to the next generation. You don't need to forgive them to heal and move on. No one would advocate that. However the fact is they couldn't do any better for you because they were no able to behave in a different way, they didn't know how. So in that respect they did the best they could, it just was not enough by any standards.

@lesliegann2737

4 жыл бұрын

@@blackdogclinic602 Very well said, insightful.

@liamnewsom8583

3 жыл бұрын

@@blackdogclinic602 this^^^^^^ i got the same message from what he has to say about that

@gedofgont1006

3 жыл бұрын

@@blackdogclinic602 We're all doing the best we can....God help us!🤕😄

@noahylandernordstrom4704

2 жыл бұрын

JBP has said several times that parents can be very cruel towards their children and actually

I absolutely agree. I followed Jordan Peterson's material for a while and even went to one of his talks on his book tour. I think he has a lot of great advice for young people when it comes to building the lives they desire but he is weaker when it comes to addressing emotional issues. I still enjoy his talks and videos but he's not the first person I would turn to when it comes to resolving emotional issues. I much prefer your approach when it comes to dealing with trauma and emotional growth.

@r.m5883

5 жыл бұрын

Kani Lana fair analysis

@Rellikan

5 жыл бұрын

What approach does Daniel apply that Jordan B Peterson does not support?

@colto2312

5 жыл бұрын

define approach and apply

@LLyrification

5 жыл бұрын

@@colto2312 the speaker in the video suggested a third way. Healing the actual trauma of the parents so that the need for disicplinary correction no longer occurs. He already omitted the fact that first of all before anything else Jordan Peterson emphasizes that you have to be critical on yourself first before extending it to others. Logically the solution he suggests is already being covered by the other rules.

@LLyrification

5 жыл бұрын

Weaker on emotional issues? Here is an analogy, which do you prefer as an individual. Someone who is self healing and self regulating, is capable of rolling with the punches, resilient enough to actually endure stress and mindful enough to accept the actual ugly reality we live in making best with whatever cards He/She is dealt with, or someone who whenever He/She encounters hardships immediatly searches for outside help most commonly to pharma, therapy or other substances?

The way I understood that line “don’t let your children do anything that would make you dislike them”, is that you should not let your children do socially inappropriate things such as ie. hitting other children, yelling in class, spitting on the ground, be unkempt, etc. etc. because then they will be met with disrespectful and hostile faces from others. If they are met with such faces and negative reactions from others often, it affects the development of their self-esteem. Honestly I agree with him on this one from personal experience - my parents were quite neglectful, so I grew up with poor hygiene and grooming, and yes, it absolutely did affect the development of my self/esteem. So I think this one has to be taken in context - Jordan is not working on the topic of childhood trauma here, but on socialization and self-esteem.

Maybe JPeterson should have said something like: A healthy loving and conscious parent should not tolerate his child doing any kind of harmfull behavior that would make the parent dislike the child? I don't believe that JP is not aware of parents harmful behavior due to stress and trauma. I think he may be talking just about simple fact that parents job is to set healthy boundaries.

I admire JP, but as a recovering BPD, that very chapter really sent my head spinning. I’m so happy to know that I’m not alone in feeling that way. Thank you for this video.

@bonn94

4 жыл бұрын

I feel the same

@jenesaisvraimentpasquoimet8473

3 жыл бұрын

@@bonn94 Could you tell a little bit more about that?

@hanstalhoffer2666

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@yasiii597

3 жыл бұрын

@@onthearth1 recovery in such case means you gotta learn about it and try to control the triggers. People with BPD unlike other personality disorders are aware of what is wrong with them and usually try they best to survive once they acknowledge about it. They need to build up a trained, more mature and logical identity by help of a therapist so that they handle the situations felt difficult to them at some points.

@penyarol83

Жыл бұрын

@@onthearth1 no, it doesn’t last forever. If you heal your trauma, you can heal and grow out of it.

I remember everything from my childhood, and I'm 38 now. I knew there was a problem with them from the age of 4. I remember screaming at my dad that I hated him when I was 4. I mean, what can you do if the child's behaviour is right and the parent's behaviour is wrong. I went to bed starving all throughout childhood, and when I finally moved out permanently around 26, I was a bloody mess of a person, even though I had a physics degree, I had barely eaten anything, I was just a shell of a human being, just a shell. I might be 38 but it feels like 12. I still haven't spoken to anybody really and I highly doubt I'll meet someone who will speak to me. There are 9 year olds who have more social experiences than me. It's actually quite frightening to think about, but it's true. I'm JP's worst nightmare, because I'm a walking contradiction to the major things that he believes about the world.

@LunaSky381

4 жыл бұрын

Hey you need to talk about what happened to you. Go to therapy. You have developmental trauma...parts of you are stunted. But you can heal :)

@LunaSky381

4 жыл бұрын

@@annihilationHaven Im sorry to read you are in so much pain! Do you want to connect?

@Medietos

Жыл бұрын

annihilationHaven: 4 years after your post: That was a well-put comment anyway, have you met anyone to talk with yet? How did you manage the interaction with your Physics peers? Or was it easier because oif the common topic of interest? If you have any alcohol problem, drinking more than you want to, or to relax, or to dare to be social etc, I recommend you try AA. I am mainly in OA, who use the same Big Book. Otherwise a daughter program of ACA has helped many self-heal. Adult children of Alcoholics and Other Dysfunctional families.

@annihilationHaven

Жыл бұрын

@@Medietos I realize everything had to happen this way coming from a horrible home. But the bigger problem was it was horrible in a way that surpasses the torture that other people might experience. Nevertheless I did manage to have a pseudo-relationship with a girl, dated a few dozen times, but she's not interested in talking to me - this has happened dozens of times before, but it usually ends after 1-6 dates and in one case it ended after 9 years with the girl who didn't want to talk to me finally swearing at me and de-friending me for good. So yeah, I know I repel men, but I really know I repel women too. They might be initially interested, but that's all. Same thing goes for employers, I did 40+ interviews, but the employers only wanted to meet me, they didn't want to talk about hiring me. So I gave up on a career, maybe too quickly. Also spent most of the last 11 years in a country where nobody speaks English, and it turned into a war zone, and my building was hit by an explosive and that wasn't even the first time that happened. But no, alcohol is kind of a sick joke, I would never drink. Maybe that gives you a small picture of what's going on. It would take 30 years to explain, there is a LOT more, all in the same vein. Of course my learning curve on power has gone up exponentially in the last 4 years as I've spent enormous amounts of time studying gaslighting and why it is so effective against most people and why nobody wants to do anything about it. At least I can say I took my employer to court once over a constructive dismissal case. The look on the judge's face told me I was the first person to bring all of the dark garbage to court, can you imagine? Nobody complained about the garbage for decades in an industry that employs over 6000 people? That case was after my 3rd year, after a 50% pay cut. But like I said, there's more, a LOT more.

@amcurious5190

Жыл бұрын

would it help you to write some of your memories and thoughts down?

I have worked with children all my life and I recognize all you describe here. The relation to my own childhood experiences and how I came upon my impossibilities to truly relate to a child later .. The necessity to release and heal myself from those, and if not not,.. it brings tears to my eyes, and a feeling of relieve in my heart... I am not guilty for what I could not be back then, but so happy, thankful and motivated to continue my path of healing and transforming myself and becoming who I was meant to be. Becoming myself. Find true connection. To children, animals, all creation. Doing so I am coming home finally. Love you Daniel.

D, Mackler strikes me as a well balanced thinker -- strongly INTUITIVE but also intellectually very capable. Thus far, he resembles a fine kind of Jungian psychologist

"The children's bad behavior is actually a reaction to a parental behavior." This is exactly what the rule is speaking too. Jordan Peterson's entire mantra is to take personal responsibility and not to cast your issues onto others(including children) to deal with. See: "Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world." Here's what I see you doing, which is perfectly good. I see you siding on the side of compassion, which is pretty likely seeing as you are trained as a therapist. What do you do after the compassion though? You lead people toward action, right? You lead them to solutions, a way to move forward. Coming from my own personal experience, I used to enjoy when people were compassionate to my woes, it felt good to be understood. But if that's all I ever got, I'd be an empathy seeking vampire. "When children are acting out who are violent and mean[cic] they are expressing things about their homelife." I don't think JP would disagreee with you here, and this is exactly his point: if you are creating a bad influence, you are allowing your children(you are responsible), to do things that now(and later down the road) will make you dislike them(while still loving them). I'd recommend you check out some videos of him explaining in person what he was talking about, as he can be a pretty harsh speaker in books to make his points be hard hitting (ie "Advice is what someone gives when they want you to shut up and go away... (he then goes into a comparison of advice and psychotherapy)).

@Ot-ej5gi

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe yes, maybe not. I wish JP would respond directly. I've noticed that JP is a conformist in some big ways; some things you have heard can be further analyzed and nonconformist views should then prevail.

@groundless1238

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

As I understand JP's rule 5, the idea is to help your kids successfully socialize, to help them progress from the animals we all are when born, to civilized human beings. Then you, and other adults, will love being with and helping them. Other kids will love to play with them. Big benefits. My credentials: former licensed hairstylist in Indiana.

Peterson also explains the word meek in the Bible as a different word than what the Bible is actually meaning.

@MiguelCisnerosSaucedo

7 ай бұрын

That's what the Authoritarian Far-Right perspective does all the time. I suggest reading the book "The Hijacking of Jesus" by Dan Wakefield

According to wiki on Peterson: „In late 2019 Peterson sought "emergency" detox from benzodiazepine addiction.[210] Peterson stated this rehab was the result of his prescribed dosage of clonazepam being increased after his wife Tammy was diagnosed with kidney cancer.[209] According to Peterson, he made several attempts to reduce dosage or stop the drug completely,[209] but experienced "horrific" benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome.”

Actually that was a phrase that struck me too, but very differently. My mother, being raised in a strict uncompromising home, went to the opposite extreme with us children. She absolutely refused to set boundaries or enforce any sort of structure . Result: chaos. She developed a deep , hidden dislike for her own children who she now viewed as ungrateful brats. Knowing your own mother dislikes you is devastating. I so wish we had learned structure and boundaries along WITH proper ways to express our feelings- and be heard and understood. Maybe everyone could have grown and learned then.

@thisisntallowed9560

5 жыл бұрын

Yes, there is also a difference between authoritarian and authoritative parents.

@ms.anonymousinformer242

5 жыл бұрын

I like this persepctive from dreams of turtles

@karamlevi

5 жыл бұрын

#ResistBlueISIS AikenCountySC is corrupt! Yes, I as well.

Dude you are insanely intelligent thank you so much for making this critique! It was articulated extremely well ; it didn’t come off as trying to attack Jordan but instead, you brought up questionable things he said. I’ve found Jordan to have a cult following where there’s a confirmation bias in anything that he says. Good on you for being able to critically think about his views!

@Rellikan

5 жыл бұрын

Daniel makes some absurd claims of what he thinks JBP thinks. Apparently JBP thinks children/people are 100% result of biology and no amount of nurture affects the behaviour. Characterises JBP as someone who enjoys meting out pain to his own children. Daniel also thinks that if a child has negative emotion manifest as a tantrum it's probably the parents' abuse of their authority, often unconsciously driven by past parental abuse.

@jameswhite7997

5 жыл бұрын

He doesn't say that at all. What he says is that sometimes it's the case that a negative emotion manifest is due to some kind of trauma which (in my opinion) is more common than we like to think about and cannot be dealt with by a blanket 'rule' of how parents should deal with children. This is misguided and therefore sometimes potentially very harmful and wrong. It does seem that JP, although right in some areas, sets himself up as an authority on almost every aspect of human life and society. Anyone who writes a book such as this will inevitably find many, many others who know much more on numerous topics and have more knowledgeable and valid opinions. I've found anyone who claims to know so much about so many different fields of expertise is by definition wrong on many of them. University professors are usually experts in one, or maximum two areas.

@Rellikan

5 жыл бұрын

@@jameswhite7997 "sets himself up as an authority" Ok? Have you read the book?

@sonicfoxxmusic4281

5 жыл бұрын

I think this dude should forget about Peterson's book and watch a few of his videos on youtube. Peterson gave me something to think about a little while back which Daniel might wish to note. Peterson stated that by the age of four years old, if that child needs therapy after that...IT'S TOO LATE. I watched a child go through this...Peterson was accurate. That child is walking into playgrounds and punching girls already....and nobody can stop him. I worked in Youth Club work and banned a kid once for bringing a barrel of cider into the club. He was being given it by his Grandfather(who ran a bar)Two weeks later the kid was pissed up and got run over on his push-bike..one year later he robbed an elderly woman and stabbed her.

@epictetus9221

5 жыл бұрын

@@Rellikan Well have you ever listened to JBP answer a question? Seldom is the case when he doesn't immediately have the 'correct answer', regardless of the topic. He's great, of course, but... just sayin'

It seems to me like jordan peterson is a sociopath

I don't remember having a specific reason why I decided that I didn't like Jordan Peterson. It was something in a video. Things most of us know about any age person acting out is it's some kind of trauma which stems from early childhood. And our environment. I happily live alone and probably will for the rest of my life. Thanks for your very informative videos.

@xxllbb55

9 ай бұрын

sounds like you have a lot of INSIGHT to offer someone !

The point about generational trauma is another reason for me to have no kids.

Here is advice from Jordan Peterson about raising children (the KZread link to this lecture at the correct timecode is below): "And now and then you know you read in the newspaper about someone who’s, you know, being pushed a little bit too far on some day that they’re unemployed and hungover and you know their relationship is just broken up and they do something absolutely brutal to their child and you think well “how could anyone do that” it’s like there’s a lot of history of terrible interactions between the mother and the child or the father and the child before something like that happens. So you know if you want to protect your child against the beast that’s inside you you might want to teach them to treat you with some respect so that you’re much more likely to be a civilized human being around them." As parents we should teach children to walk on eggshells around us, or we might explode and release the beast inside of us? When someone is "brutal" to their child, the best way to protect the child is to make it the child's responsibility to treat the parent with respect? It's actually teaching people to traumatise their children. He is definitely not teaching people to heal their own childhood trauma. The fact that Jordan Peterson is taken so seriously by so many people really scares me. (And if people want more context, well the entire lecture is in the same link and is nearly 2 hours long.) kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZqiFsc6KgtOZl7Q.htmlh14m54s

@turquoiseafro1520

3 жыл бұрын

Pordan Jeterson is bat guano. Says something about how sick a society is to elevate him for guidance/insight. He is the psychologist of neoliberlaism. Some health carers are acting out their own power trips and pharmacological, financial exploitation.

@the81kid

3 жыл бұрын

@@turquoiseafro1520 "He is the psychologist of neoliberlaism." Can't disagree with that.

@harima36

Жыл бұрын

it shows how many people seek trauma because of their existing trauma... great...

Many thanks for that alternate point of view.

@anarcho-communist11

Жыл бұрын

I can't believe this is an alternate point of view but since it is, I think that explains why the entire world is so messed up.

Refreshing and sensible! I'm glad I found your channel, you are thinking very critically of things that I would easily gloss over.

Yes, sometimes people concentrate sooooo much on external issues so that they do not have to deal with personal reflection. I agree with what you said. There is no substitute for simple honesty, it makes life worth living. Thumbs up for you Mr Mackler.

When I first watched some of Peterson's lectures I thought "This stuff is cool and interesting", but the more I watched the more they seemed trite when they weren't just plain wrong.

@tnt01

3 жыл бұрын

i agree.

@tnt01

3 жыл бұрын

@Xadion i agree. a very intelligent man, but i think he needs to resolve his own issues before giving advice to others.

@cjMbuck

3 жыл бұрын

Start from the point that Peterson is all about monetizing his "brand." Then, observe how he goes off on tangents that are hardly relevant to the subject at hand and struggle like hell to tie up the ends and make it all coherent. Observe his dedicated followers who will hang on his every word and give meaning to where there is little. Then read the 48 Laws Of Power for insights into what he does, and watch the great movie from 1979, "Being There", and you'll begin to get some clarity about Peterson.

@atiger4716

3 жыл бұрын

Same happened to me, I started to feel something was wrong with him, like he is fighting to suppress something that is not able to face, at the same time he needs to construct a false image to support it. How many psicologyst are really screw up!!!!

@gedofgont1006

3 жыл бұрын

He exhibits the same authoritarian tendencies he so vigorously decries in the world around him.

JP does sound like a messed up person

How do we stop a child's misery? To cease being the cause.

“If this is his point of view then I have to question everything he has to say”. Good ending Daniel.

@ataj585

2 жыл бұрын

That's a good starting point. The masses of desperate fatherless men who look up to JP for fatherly guidance should take heed (not to make little of fatherlessness, I myself did not have the best father figure).

@gloriouscontent3538

Жыл бұрын

The guy can even have some great things to say and I think he does, but any sensible person with the status Peterson has themself would want people to question what they say. There are even times where Peterson's way of communicating, not the content of his speech, gets in the way of what he's trying to achieve. The man actively suggested people at least consider trying psych meds and claimed you could go on them and just go right back off them if there's an issue and you'll be fine; then look what happened.

@gloriouscontent3538

Жыл бұрын

@@ataj585 The man himself is driven to tears over this. Thousands of people looking to you for more help than you're able to give them, this is a difficult position for a person to be in when you actually have it all together.

@harima36

Жыл бұрын

You won't have to question J.P. if you don't listen to him ; )

My 2 year old tried using violence, hitting and biting, and there was never any violence to her or around her. And I was with her 24/7 so I'm sure of that. She learned that being violent gets her a time-out and she stopped quickly. But I could definitely see a lack of punishment leading to a child using violence more and more, especially if it gets them what they want.

@yessopie

3 жыл бұрын

It turns out that there are a lot of unrelated reasons for children exhibit bad behaviour, and each kind calls for a different response. As usual, everyone is fighting over which oversimplification is correct.

@sc00f

3 жыл бұрын

Peterson said in one interview that 2 year olds are the most aggressive age group.

@MoralGovernment

3 жыл бұрын

@@sc00f Yeah, I used to work in a daycare center. The 2 year old would hit each other and bite each other and it was a big problem.

@Kvikveg7

2 жыл бұрын

@@MoralGovernment I wonder how much sense it makes biologically for a 2 year old to be away from her mother and how much of that is causing these.

@MoralGovernment

2 жыл бұрын

@@Kvikveg7 She's now 6 and has never been away from me.

Ive learned more in two of your videos that came up on my feed than i have in a long time. Thank you. Ive subscribed. Looking forward to learning more.

Your critique is spot-on. I don't recall any mention of healing in anything I've ever listened to where Jordan Peterson is speaking. My critique of Jordan Peterson, Dennis Praeger, Candace Owens, Ben Shapiro, and the like is that they lack (or just ignore) any sociological understanding of the adverse conditions (especially, childhood trauma) that impede the personal or historical development of positive identity formations and further marginalize those already suffering from systems of origin.dysfunction. As you say, Jordan Peterson is intellectually against authoritarianism. However, his focus as a moral apologist in the public domain brings nothing constructive to any debate I've ever seen him in. If there is an ethics to his social psychology, it does not feature empathy as a primary principle.

Thanks you so much for your work Daniel, you are a wise and deeply compassionate man, truly an inspiration to me.