Being on disability I always felt I needed to justify it around people who stigmatize it (thinking I'm "riding on backs of taxpayers", a "vacation every day", not "willing to work", etc.). I used to stammer when they'd ask why I'm on disability, but now after learning about boundaries I just answer, "I won't bore you with my medical details". And if they press further, I say, "I don't discuss my medical with anyone but my doctor".

@gretchenburton7184

Жыл бұрын

It is so hurtful and daunting. Neighbors have been so cruel that I don't want to have anything to do with most of them. Unbelievable comments and actions. Bless you❤

@pavilion3064

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for these alternative options!

@micheleanhoury518

11 ай бұрын

Right here with you! 🫶Thank you for Sharing your empowering responses, I’ll use them from now on! 🙏💪

@kb8511

8 ай бұрын

Those are some really good responses. I’m very insecure about that as well because I get those same remarks as well and it makes me feel really bad about myself.

@user-wm2fv3sp3x

5 ай бұрын

Everyone has a background story. People are not entitled to know about it. It is up to you whether you choose to share it. And whether they want to listen to it, of course, is up to them. Listening doesn't necessarily mean understanding either. At the end of the day, only you know what you are going through and why you have to make certain decisions in your life.

This video is a miracle. 33 years of my life revolved around justification. Now I'm making a change. Love this!

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Celebrating you! Thanks for sharing this.

1. What's important to you, 2. Being yourself, 3. Career path, 4. Health choices, 5. Appearance, 6. Goals and dreams, 7. Why you put yourself first.

I loved the “you don’t owe the world your beauty” quote it was so mind blowing.

Thank you Julia! 1. The things that are important to you ( food, hobbies) 2. Your career 3. Your food choices. 4. Their appearance 5. Your goals and dreams 6. Why you are putting yourself first

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out...💬

@Katie-vy5rd

Жыл бұрын

Thanks!

@Izkapts

Жыл бұрын

Food choices? What if the food choice is people? What if food choice is a family of other animals?

Constantly trying to justify yourself to others is absolutely exhausting and soul- sucking. Why is it people expect me to justify standing up for myself? Yes, and how I look at the gym is no one's business because it's not affecting anyone else's workout!

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

amen to this!

I found alot of people are very judgemental, they judge what we do and don't do so that's probably why we feel we have to justify ourselves.... I prefer to distance myself if these people keep on questioning me, it's none of their business....

@erikalarsson

5 ай бұрын

Same here❤

When I was leaving my abusive spouse after 28 years, your vids, knowledge and even the kindness in your voice helped me more than you will ever know. I still throughly enjoy your style, choices of vids and the way you share them. May God bless you for your effort to help others in this crazy ride of life......I am sure I am not the only one who has found solace and peace in being a part of "your little community in this corner of the internet......" Okie Girl🤠

Proving is like putting yourself in a way that whatever you are experiencing are still lies. I think the core message of this video is, never allow other people to make you feel guilty until proven innocent. You do not need to prove anything at the first place.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Big truth right here. Thanks for the great summation.

Its almost ridiculous that we have to be told these things yet your advice is invaluable ❤ People are bullies and im over it!

This is a very important piece of the puzzle of establishing our identity. I have done some work in the last years to know who I am. Now I am training myself to not over explain my choices or not explain at all. Thank you for helping me to just be me.

@bryanhenton5485

Жыл бұрын

Awesome

Yes, the other way around for me. They don't get to be snarky if I want cake & icecream while they're all getting seeds & spinach salad. So blessed for friends like that!

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out...💬

Having been exposed to a person with narcissistic traits, I felt almost always having to justify my actions which of course is tied up with their insecurities. I sent flowers to a mutual friend who lost her mother and this other person (the narc) said I did it to show off/go over the top. I did it because I too have lost my mother and appreciated when others showed some loving words and actions. But I found myself having to justify myself, then felt awful if others did see me as a show off/insincere. I know now my actions were genuine and now hate the fact I stood there floundering and apologising. We should all learn these valuable lessons at a young age so we’re not having to justify to others and stand firm in our own decisions.

@gail777

4 ай бұрын

Narc was projecting what he would do onto you. He would have sent flowers to show off. It wasn't about you, it was about him.

Woman, I've seen many therapists in my life but you are one of the best. Thank you

Great video! I would add one more thing: Don't justify or apologize for being educated. I see this ALL the time people feel judged if they use a fancy term or speak a foreign language. They always add something like "oh look at me, I'm smart pants..haha..." Even college teachers say something similar to that to students....That just sad. Be humble within reason, but also be proud of the learning work that you've done.

4th video I've watched now and I'm getting super excited because I see a possibility of me being on the verge of a major breakthrough.

I'm learning the hard way I don't have to justify myself while grieving the loss of my child

@virginiahobby3726

Ай бұрын

No you don't and everyone grieves differently and at their own pace. You cry when you need to cry and talk about you child when you need to. Embrace your grief and don't run from it so you will heal in a healthy way.I'm so sorry for your loss. May you find peace at the cross.

@LindaOhearn-mt9vk

Ай бұрын

Blessings to you. Grieve in your own way. Take as long as necessary. There are support groups for child loss trauma. Sometimes people can be so cruel. Take it a day at a time.

Seeking others approval is self confidence removal A fantastic insight on how to treat yourself right Thanks Julia

Thank you Julia. I lived for years expecting acceptance from my family;mother and siblings. It has taken me years to realize that I am myself. I am what people/family want me to be. It started after marrying a woman that they could not approve of. Instead, I have lived being gas lit from left,right and center. You education here is for me. I suffered childhood trauma. Now, I want to just be. Just who i am. No justification,no validation,no accetance,nothing. Thank you

Thank you Julia I spent 52 years living for everyone else unable to get to know myself. I came out a trans-woman and was happy of me for the first time in my life. But was told I was wrong because everyone else was now sad. This did not persuade me from being myself but what I realized is it took me 52 years before I began to actually know who I am. What you said here today is so beneficial for me because I'm trying to learn to be me and love myself. Past pressure and society continue to say I have to be for them but I can't. I need to be me no matter what or who says or thinks. You have inspired me to fight harder to do for self and know I am right. My boyfriend has told me to just be me but I never understood that until now. Thank you so much!

@NZelalem96

Жыл бұрын

Hello Jessica. I also was struggling for many years with finding my identity (I am 26 now) until I began having a relationship with Jesus. It really is life-changing. Therapy is also a very great tool. Have a blessed day :)

@jessicashaw7143

Жыл бұрын

@@NZelalem96 hello, I understand where your coming from. However, I believe in God through Christ Jesus. Most people in religions condemn people like me just as did my family. Although I know God made me as I am and also is teaching me every day how humanity must stop looking to thier own righteousness but see who they truly are and humble themselves before God who shows mercy to whom he will. Knowing we have no righteousness in ourselves but wholly look to and depend on the righteousness of Christ to cover us as children of God.

@12onin_Gypsy

Жыл бұрын

Well done Jess, enjoy your life 🙂

@NZelalem96

Жыл бұрын

@@jessicashaw7143 I'm sorry you experienced that. I can relate as I've experienced this at my church too, but in a way it brought me closer to Jesus. Humbling ourselves yes Amen God bless you sister.

@theresekearney1640

Жыл бұрын

When my Mum was in her 90’s I asked her, a bit flippantly, what advice she had, and quick as a wink she said “be yourself”, such a few words to convey so much complexity. I’m learning more and more about what those words really mean, allow, and encourage in me. One of the most profound pieces of advice she gave me, which continually guides me, along with these videos.

Great discussion. I’m dealing with stepdaughters. After 22 years they have been so mean and critical and you have helped me lots tonight. From Australia xx

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Really glad this connected. Sending you clarity and peace on your journey.

@SusanaXpeace2u

Жыл бұрын

Time to stop trying. Try less. Suit yrslf

@Clevelandsteamer324

5 ай бұрын

Never raise another man’s child

Amen to that..Im 35 yrs old, living with narc parents..and I'm done..God bless you Mam😍🤗❤❤🙏

This is a really excellent talk. I work in a hair salon behind the chair for 40yrs. You just pointed out a few more things I don't need to justify. I'm thoroughly enjoying your whole youtube channel.

"Outsourcing our sense of self" Wow. That's great.

I hate when I am around smug married folks and I need to justify why I am single and don’t have children. Why do married folks do this? I am an independent woman who can stand on my own 2 feet.

@smileyhs7334

Жыл бұрын

Consider that they may envy your freedom! Just smile and say "that is MY choice, you live your life according to your choices". For years my husband and I had to defend our decision not to have children and I eventually learned that the people who criticized us the worst, were those who were the most unhappiest because of their own choice to have kids, so don't let them bother you. Good on you for being able to be independent -- enjoy it! (From a woman who envies you for that!)

@Clevelandsteamer324

5 ай бұрын

By independent you mean an adult? Do men say they are independent?

The part about not owing the world your looks really resonated with me. I got made fun of as a child in school because of my disability and still am self conscious, though not as much as I used to be. But I’ve been struggling with body image lately because I’ve tried to lose weight for a long time and now perimenopause is making it even harder.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

You do not owe the world a certain type of body Liz - remember that.

@fml5910

Жыл бұрын

I wish the best of luck. I know most of us are self critical of our looks, and our bodies me included.

Loved this! Especially today, I had to stand up and tell my boss I need a week to fly home for loss of my grandma

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

I hope your boss was supportive and understanding. Sending you love as you grieve.

Yes yes yes!!!! There is so much freedom in learning how to not feel the need to justify yourself!

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Yes!!

Outsourcing our sense of self. Very interesting concept. I have a friend who is pretty overbearing and is super opinionated. In this relationship I have learned to say no. I learned that no is a sentence just like yes. I have found the more I explain the less empowered I feel. I am learning to not offer more than is needed and in this way I feel. empowered. I am learning to love myself just as I am.

@Clevelandsteamer324

5 ай бұрын

Learn to be happy being alone

Great topic and important to stress. I don’t try to “fit in” and never have. No apologies for my taste in music, oatmeal or Gin. “I gotta be me, it’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it!” Syrup is good on sausage.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Glad we're on the same page when it comes to the syrup and sausage Mark ;-)

Thanks for sharing this! Maybe we can add 'You don't have to justify what your expenses are'.

This was a very soothing video to find. I came across the words "compensatory disorders" yesterday in the context of an unstable personality who makes up for their self-perceived shortcomings by really going for the gold and approval in other ways, to compensate. It's hard to find a video on that but this was pretty close to what I was seeking. Thank you for working with people who are trying to develop healthier mindsets.

Thank you for your channel! We need the freedom to be ourselves without justification from anyone!🙏❤️🕊🌟🎶🌹💝 God bless you!!

Thank you for this message. I am so thankful that the Lord has given me strength, to keep going, even though I want to give up. I have two beautiful boys both are autistic. My husband passed away years ago. I’m all alone. I lost my job over declining the vaccine. LIKE MANY OTHERS! I declined due to my pre existing health conditions lupus and heart disease. I’ve been struggling to provide for myself and my children since losing my job from Forsyth hospital. I’m now waitressing, and I’m thankful, but I’m not making nearly enough to get by. Groceries are super expensive. Every month is a battle to not end up on the streets with my two children. I’m constantly in fear of losing my home. To even think about being on the streets with two young children is terrifying. But even as I face homelessness seemingly every month. I have faith, God will provide! With GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! Faith over fear.

@cyndyfabian7555

Жыл бұрын

Hi, Grannie Cyndy from South Australia here. Golly, I feel for you. People hear you. God does too. The fact that you're on this channel shows that you are on a learning path. Keep walking the walk. God will sustain and lead you. God bless you richly. Xxx

@pebblesmiller9026

Жыл бұрын

It must be hard not to be overwhelmed. This channel will help you I’m sure. Sending courage and hope.

@Caitriona_

Жыл бұрын

God bless you very much, sending you lots of love 💐🙏

@aden313

Жыл бұрын

Mom you are so strong . Never give up . You child will thank you for being a good mom one day . And if u don't mine Where do u live ? Please let me know .

@Clevelandsteamer324

5 ай бұрын

You can get survivor benefits from social security

Some other things to add to the list of things you don't need to justify: 1. Your relationship status Some people want a relationship or marriage, some don't. Some people are happier alone, some when they're part of a relationship in a solid family environment, you do what makes you happy. 2. Your sexuality What happens between two consenting adults of legal age is their business, nobody elses, and you should not need to justify why you are atrracted to a certain type of person, just be happy with the people you love 3. Any disabilities you may or may not have Whilst you should never use disability as an excuse for bad behaviour, you should also never need to justify it either .......... you do what you need to so that you can get through life the best you can, and nobody elses opinion on that counts

I always feel as though I need to justify my career path to my parents. As such, this video is super useful !

The ones about food health choices are delightful! I have some special needs and my own quirky way of caring for myself. I sometimes can feel accosted by people with advice about things to try, or ways I could better manage. The temptation to justify my own choices can kick in. It can be tricky for me to shift the conversation away from their unwelcome "good advise.

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out...💬

Timing has never been better. I am itching so much to explain why I made my decision to a family member who is passively upset, which is understandable, but I changed my mind because I didn’t fully evaluate the situation I was putting myself into. Anyways, I hope one day this will come to me naturally.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

It will with practice and with feeling more solid and secure in who you are.

If we stop justifying our own choices so much toward others, if we live more for ourselves/ by our own values and preferences and "own" what we do- I think we can allow others to be themselves, to follow their own path much easier as well. Thanks for this encouraging and empowering video! ❤️

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Amen to all of this. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

“Your allowed to show up in EXISTENCE…..” LOVE THIS. I love the things you say. These are great to hear!!

300,000 subscribers. Congratulations Julia! Thank you for your wonderful teaching.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Trish! I'm grateful for every human here wanting better for themselves and their lives. It truly is inspiring.

@chrisdigitalartist

Жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah Time to update your profile picture with a new number! Lol

I love your videos. My ex boyfriend & I both watched your videos when we first met. Your video's remind me I am my own person before I start ruminating.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Yes and yes! Thanks for being here.

I'm getting better little by little at setting boundaries. Especially with narrsistic people. I probably saved myself alot of pain simply by recognizing someone as a narrsistic person at my church who was hoovering me and trying to suck me into his world of lies and deception. Had I befriended this person I would have ended up feeling worthless and been a door mat. I recognized the toxic behaviors very quickly and backed away fast. This person was staring at me intensely with black eyes (intimidation attempt) during church service and he also did a crab pose that bodybuilders do (intimidating attempt again) all in the middle or church service lol. 😳. I want NOTHING to do with such people and see nothing but lying for attention. I owe NO ONE an explanation, especially a narc!!

See my name here Julia, Jodie is cool. Your videos have helped me love and embrace myself. I am cool. And I have a heap of other attributes that I am finally proud of. Thanks to you x

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment....

We are all different, that is what makes life wonderful, you shouldn’t have to justify the things that make you unique, Providing it doesn’t hurt others.

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out...💬

Hi JULIA ❤ I am learning one of the things I dont need to justify is the healthy choices I make when I feel triggered in conflict. When I feel the tell tale signs of trauma response in my body OR signs that continuing will end in an argument... I may say, "I need to bow out and regroup. I need to process some things. I am going to go tot he park to walk. I am going to pray and journal" etc...often times those very healthy things can be challenged when those things are WISE and is evident of growth. I will work on not justifying my healthy communication pauses/trauma healing choices when someone questions the validity or turns it on me. After counseling about this, I have recently said, "Going forward, I want to let you know I will continue to choose to do healthy things when I feel it is appropriate to process things and later regroup and no one can stop me" 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hi Julia! I just got your audiobook. I’m excited to listen to it. I’m glad you are the narrator. Thank you for all that you do.

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out...💬

Thank you. I just found this channel and have watched 6-7 of your talks. Responds well with me. Rigmor, Norway

Great advise I’m new here and in todays world just gaining more knowledge is power . Thank you for teaching things that are easy to understand 🙂that in itself helps .

I love your book!!! Thank you. Your channel is by far my favorite. I’m learning so much, I’m on your waitlist. ❣️

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

So glad you loved the book -and I can't wait to welcome you into the shift.

I think the most important one is not having to justify a NO. Being ok with the decision you’ve made without having to explain why it’s a No….. so many people say no and then follow it with some type of reason when it really isn’t necessary….. no means no, and it’s nobody’s business why….

I’m on your waitlist. Your teachings have helped me greatly in creating a new healthy lifestyle mentally/emotionally. Thank you!

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Can't wait to welcome you Tanya - you're going to get so many shifts out of it.

Just ordered "Drive Your Own Darn Bus" I'm New to watching/listening to Julia and I am really liking what Julia has to say and is very important to me! Thanks Julia!

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out..💬

It’s refreshing to be with others who are actively and deliberately shifting!!!!

Great talk! The one thing I constantly feel I have to justify is my time. Typically this is to my significant other. I'm struggling with how much of that is his and how much of that is mine.

Thank-you. Much to process. Cried thru the whole video

We really appreciate your work and your style, thank you for being so kind and thanks heavens for you; to me to u, to u to me.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

So glad you're here Amy - thanks for watching.

really enjoying these talks. Helping me both personally and as a clinician.

I need to hear this 50 more times.....trusting myself. Knowing my worth because of who He says I am.....that's it....gold!

Julia, I love watching your videos. You are so down to earth and easy to listen to. I personally like your videos in black and white...something different. Thank you for helping us to better deal with getting through the tough times in life!

Thank you for your work Julia. I watch your videos regularly and they are very helpful to me as a source of inspiration and material for reflection. Greetings from Poland! 😘

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Really glad you're here and I'm so glad they've been helpful. Good for you for showing up for yourself.

Not that I needed another reason to love you but yes to syrup on the sausage. I am glad you and I connect on that among many other things! 🎉

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out..💬

Hi I really resonated to your previous videos about defensiveness and justifications. I am looking forward to this video for a little more in-depth information. You are helping me see my truth a lot! Thank you!!!

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out...💬

This video's speech and lecture is priceless! It really provides some tools to navigate one's own inner landscape and thus get surplus for a better life and surplus for other people! Thanks JKC

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

You're so welcome - really glad it connected.

Super- helpful video Julia Christina! You might find I repeat what you said in my comments but thats the way I learn. Hope thats okay. Thats the way I have done my learning. Thank you!!

This is beautiful. THANK YOU❤

Thank You Julia For Coming Back With Another Great Video,Denis🧸😘

Great video. Empowering. In this current time of extremely-cautious speech, I think your message of being "exactly who you are" is more important than ever. Perhaps sincerely accepting each other for who we are is the key here. Thanks for sharing. I look forward to more of your content.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Really glad it connected my friend.

Hello and thank you from The UK! I have found this video very comforting as i am 61 years old, (This is me in a recent photo on my profile picture) and due to me being on the receiving end of a very abusive, so called family, whom i ran away from, over 40 years ago, i never had a childhood or a teenage life because they never allowed me to leave their house except for school, work and grocery shopping for them and they would flog me with belts and a piece of cut up hosepipe for even asking to be allowed out. I was always scared and lonely in that hovel/prison! This has made me, as an adult, want to be very thin and dress very young. I feel real good, by dressing in this way, but whenever i go anywhere, i get ridiculed by unknown women the same age as myself. You have made me finally realise, it is none of their business. Before, i would feel guilty about dressing in my chosen way and as my confidence is very low, i almost felt they were right to criticise me, but now i realise, i have been shaped into who i am and other people have no say in how i dress. I wear short tight dresses, mini skirts, slashed jeans, tattoos and piercings, but society says that at my age i must have short silver hair and wear very conservative clothing! There are even lots of toxic videos on -line, 'advising' us older ladies what we "MUST NOT" wear! At long last i think to myself, i can wear what i please as long as i don't hurt anyone, so there!!! ....... Thank you so much, pretty lady, for helping me to see the light! Kind regards! xxxxxxx

Thank you Julia Christina for this very informative message. I will follow your advice.

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment....

Wow, I needed this video. Thank you🥰

Thanks for the great video Julia. I like to mix maple syrup into jar of almond butter. Throughly mix the ingredients and put in the fridge. Stir the almond butter and syrup. The syrup comes to the top. When it’s cold it is delicious. I can eat it by the spoonful.

Great video !!! Thanks ! I always get so much from your wisdom !!! ..... Cheers .... :D

Thank you so much for this, it sounds obvious but I needed for someone to outline it for me, because I’m so guilty of over explaining. Also thank you for bringing up the reason why we do that.

I love every single bit of your video Julia. I totally agree with what you said. Self-care is hugely important in our healing journeys! Thank you.

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome. Glad to be on this journey with you Iza.

@izawaniek2568

Жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah Thank you so much for everything you do for me!

This was just brilliant . What a gift you are. Thankyou 🇦🇺

Very true. I will be teaching this to my young son as he is growing up. Thank you ❤️👍

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome. He's lucky to have a dad who's invested in his mental and emotional wellbeing early on.

@SoniaProteau-cj6tk

5 ай бұрын

This is greatly appreciated 😂

I really appreciate your video bc there are people around me that I don't choose to have in my life who think i have to justify my appearance or what I eat to them ! I am sick and tired of this!

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out...💬

Syrup and Sausage with a Side of Kale! Oh, if only I was still interested in writing songs, this could have been a great one that your discussion just inspired me to write. But, I do not feel the need anymore to justify my existence by trying to create something great, and I thank you for helping me with this. I so appreciate the value of your inspiring input. 🤸 🤸‍♂ 🤸‍♀ 🤸

Thank you Julia for the video

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome. Thanks for being here.

Hello My name is Mariyah Watkins And I just started watching with everything that's going on I feel like I can learn something new everytime I watch It like I can get something out of it everytime

Good to see you again, thank you for the video.

Yahhs Our choices/taste/seasonal changes are our own business. Ty Ms.

Regarding food choices: my mother is a registered dietician but when through college in the 1960s (big push for dairy, meat, eggs). She didn't serve much fruit and we never had salads, just a cooked vegetable as a side. In 9th grade I was overweight due to a medication I was on having caused 50 lbs of weight gain in only a year. My school health teacher taught about eating a high raw fresh fruits and vegetable diet with about 15-20% cooked rice, beans, sweet potatoes, or cooked veggie. I decided to try it out with a few classmates and feel in love. Within the first year , I had dropped the 50 extra pounds, felt great, had tons of energy, slept better than ever, acne cleared almost completely, the list goes on. The only problem was that my mother felt rejected because I wouldn't eat what she made for dinners but rather made my own salads to sit at still eat with the family. I always cleaned up after myself also. She would make little comments throughout the first year to make me feel bad for not eating her American diet foods that focused in "portion control" and "caloric limitation" but she would serve everything from hamburgers, spaghetti with meat sauce, Mac n cheese, beef stroganoff, etc. I kept explaining to her that I felt so much better physically and mentally eating the fresh fruits and veggies and not having to limit my portions so I would actually feel full and not hungry all the time. Year two turned into constant arguments about it. She thought I didn't have a "balanced diet" because I wouldn't eat the ice cream or pie desserts. She said I couldn't possibly stay on the diet I was in forever and I needed to go back to eating "normal foods" and just portion controlling them. Finally, she said that she was so hurt by my not eating her cooking that it was going to ruin our relationship. So, at 18, I chose the relationship with my mom over my food choices. It took me 6 months to not feel sick eating that food again and I was never able to go back to dairy as I had become intolerant over the two years off it. Now, I'm over 40 and still eating all the junk meals my mother approves of and am obese. Anytime I've attempted to go back to the other diet, she shames me so badly when she visits and then "reeducated" me on how to portion control. I've done a lot of work on myself emotionally the past 5 years and have finally learned to detach myself from our enmeshed relationship. My mom is angry and says she's miserable and that it's my fault for intentionally punishing her by not doing what she approves of with my life and the final step will be getting back to my long lost healthful diet of fresh whole foods. I'm actually really excited and know the extra weight I have will fall off over time. I also know my energy levels will go back up and I can exercise more than I do now (even though I'm obese, I'm very active. I exercise daily and am remodeling an old house about 4-5 hours a day after I do what I need to with the business I started a few years ago. This video pinpoints some very specific things that many struggle with in these unhealthy relationships. I just remember now that no matter what even my own parents think of my decisions, I know why I chose them and they are right for me and that is enough. Cheers everyone on this journey to health in all areas!!!! ❤❤🎉🎉

When you used the example of a person feeling that they need to justify healthy food choices, I was feeling the exact opposite!! I sometimes feel like I'm being judged by "food nazis" for eating carbs, sweets or whatever is the current "evil" unhealthy food!! I always find myself saying "I'm having a rough day, I need some comfort food" or "I did 2 hours of Zumba, so I deserve a little treat!". WHY do I need to justify the fact that I'm NOT a vegan or a low-carb, no sugar ascetic?? I'm human and I enjoy delicious foods!!!

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Feedback appreciated...👍 Wanting more info and insight..? Whatapp the number above.. Endeavor to reach out...💬

Thank you so much for all of these videos :) 😀

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

You are welcome my friend. It is my joy and privilege.

You had me at syrup on sausage! 😂 Seriously though, every girl ever, needs to hear you!

Just listened to your emotional immaturity signs it’s excellent precise and a very clear understanding and yes I have experienced several of these signs from my late husband and a few friends. I feel it can be very taxing on you to have these people in your life thus I choose after much thought to not be in those relationships I have great and healthy relationships I totally enjoy and have come to realize I don’t need to be in relationships that are toxic thanks for this information you’re a great therapist

Thank you. I needed to hear the last one especially.

@raphaelberto843

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Hello dear, how are you doing?

@jenniferedmondson5019

Жыл бұрын

@@raphaelberto843 mostly well, thank you.

Brilliant! Thank you ❤

I was a Hospice volunteer Julia.

You are the best!!! We are lucky to be able to hear this

Thank you! 🙂

I just love you . Thank you so much for this content ❤

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment....

Yes. My covert narc sister would project her worries and time lines of not achieving life goals and say to me: don’t you want to go to college? Don’t you want to buy a house? Don’t you want a career? I’m like, no, I don’t think or worry about these things, quit stressing me out with your own worries. That’s you! Not me! But as time went on it did wear me down about being a, “ looser “ she would call me looser. I had no idea about this personality disorder. The church does it too, you know. Only it’s worse because they use your own fear against you. The fear of heaven or hell.

Thank you so much!

Move in silence. I have a list of what I am working on and no one knows. It's when it's done, IF they find out, good for them. I don't explain. It also comes with age. I don't have time.

@cyber_tech120.

Жыл бұрын

Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment...

Good morning Julia Kristina I just finished reading Your book

@juliakristinamah

Жыл бұрын

Wonderful! I hope you loved and got a lot out of it.

Thank you 😊

Hi Julia! Senior Shifter here! I love this talk. I would place this under radical self-acceptance and I love that. Some quick comments. I have the opposite experience and I get criticized for the “unhealthy foods” I eat. “That’s not healthy” “You are getting too fat.” “You need to lose weight.” My justifying (yet true) thought is “Well, it isn’t that I don’t like healthy foods - I LOVE healthy foods - but my problem is that I also LOVE unhealthy foods! (And is that even a problem?) See how I justify myself that way! Also, yes, syrup on sausages is great! Lol Here are my notes: 7 Things You Don't Need to Justify to Anyone: When we try to justify ourselves, it means we are really seeking others' approval. We want others to approve of us, then we can approve ourselves as well. We are outsourcing our sense of self, instead of getting clear about who we are and what we do and making and liking our own decision in life. You don't need to justify what is important to you. (Your taste in music, food…etc…) Being apologetically yourself. (The most important kind of courage that we can get, is the courage to be our imperfect selves. - Adler) Being ourselves is the antidote to shame and self-loathing. Our career paths. Is your food or health choices. Our appearance. Our goals and dreams that we are pursuing. Why we are putting ourselves first. Great talk. Thanks Coach! To everyone and anyone reading this, remember always what a worthy and valued person you are. You matter. ❤