I used to think that checking out and living in fantasy worlds and imaginary scenarios was a normal thing that every human did all the time.

@Thatquietgirl888

2 ай бұрын

I think it's an INFP thing for sure. But most people are sensors I think. That's the people with more normal childhoods.

@anh1192

2 ай бұрын

Seems like most intuitives have had some sort of childhood trauma. Many have insecure attachment styles (dismissives/fearful/anxious). I believe we developed intuition and created fantastical worlds to escape. - INTJ

@blakkwaltz

2 ай бұрын

It isn't?

@wareforcoin5780

2 ай бұрын

Until just this second I thought it was too. Like, literally, saw the title include the words "complex trauma" associated with that thing I do and went "shit."

@user-wz7fe2bq5c

2 ай бұрын

They do this guy is stupid. Psychology is stupidity incarnate. A physchological diagnosis regardless of the one youre getting it from is more likely to be wrong than right. The personallife of psychologists are DISMAL! These people cannot help you because they cant even help themselves why would you listen to them. Rettreating to a fantasy could be from something bad that you dont like or it could just as easily be because you want to pleasure yourself. They have no idea and they lie because they want to appear to be the person with the answers THTS theri fantasy!

Shout out to all my fellow maladaptive day dreamers

@LiberatedNotes

2 ай бұрын

🙌

@thenovicenovelist

2 ай бұрын

Same here

@JordonBinnington

2 ай бұрын

Represent brother!

@randomtrucks

2 ай бұрын

no joke i started daydreaming less excessively once i was surrounded by exclusively healthy relationships that didn't drain me and trigger me on a regular (daily) basis. Now i pretty much indulge in my MaDD universe for fun and entertainment when i have to walk somewhere.

@ethereal946

2 ай бұрын

Gang gaaang😂

I used to read books because I could escape to a world where I didn't exist. It was the safest fantasy possible.

@ellatroy

2 ай бұрын

Myself as well… I would “become” the character who’s point of view I was reading. It was also a great way of cultivating how to put one’s self in to another’s shoes. Still do it to this day. My name feels like it is not my own. When called it is almost… unfamiliar.

@m0L3ify

2 ай бұрын

@@ellatroy I actually changed my first name because my original name made me feel like a phony. It just never fit me. My current one makes me feel whole and at home in my own life.

@ellatroy

2 ай бұрын

@@m0L3ify that’s actually a great idea. Happy to hear you found a name that felt like your own. Maybe I’ll do the same. :)

@m0L3ify

2 ай бұрын

@@ellatroyI highly recommend it! It helped me feel like I was finally taking charge of my life and building my own identity.

@autotelicstate33

2 ай бұрын

Same same. I used to be so addicted to books and escapism that I used to read novels to school

I was married to so many celebrities, I could write a tell all! Escapism made me feel important to SOMEONE.

@youtubesucks1499

2 ай бұрын

That hit hard. You are important to us. The world wouldn't be the same without your existence.

@Ninjamama22

2 ай бұрын

Me too! That was my favorite escape fantasy when I was married to my abusive ex husband. It was absolutely obsessive. I was spending so much time in fantasy land, to think about it now, I can’t even imagine having enough time in my day anymore to engage in that.

@AutisticBarbie

2 ай бұрын

@@youtubesucks1499same to you ❤❤❤❤

@sgiado

2 ай бұрын

Me too😂 wow I really thought I was the only one

@thegbgfamily

2 ай бұрын

You are important.

I don’t want to give up my fantasy world. It’s a wonderful place I’ve built up since I was a kid and now I’m 56 and it’s very involved and intricate. Its home. It’s my happy place and it would break my heart to give up my life and people there.

@mynameisvestah

2 ай бұрын

write a book about it! that's what im doing

@YueAki

2 ай бұрын

I KNOW THAT, GOD it's so good to know someone KNOWS what this feels like.

@floriehazel4712

2 ай бұрын

If you are happy, I don't see why you should leave this place!

@LaykaSnail

2 ай бұрын

I feel the same! I have created a whole forest in my mind, with creatures I invented. However, sometimes I get into a fantasy about a different past, withouth all the pain and bad experiences which led me to complex trauma, in this case I try to get out because I don´t wanna lose the good moments of my present time.

@MichelleBlessing

2 ай бұрын

I'm with you too ❤

I rarely add comments, but I’ll say this. Stop demonizing maladaptive daydreaming. Not all of us who do this are “narcissists who don’t accept responsibility for any of our actions and refuse to see reality.” I’m 48 years old, a single mom to a wonderful 15 year old, a published author, and I graduate in August with a BS degree in psychology. I have to take responsibility every day or life would fall apart. However, maladaptive daydreaming saved my life. Without it I wouldn’t be the person I am. I doubt when I sleep I’d be able to lucid dream once a week, or have conversations with dream figures that end up being life changing. I doubt I’d have lived through my childhood at all. I value my imagination and I am not going to be shamed for being an adult who loves to fantasize. I have watched many of this man’s videos on PTSD and agree with most of all of the things he says. But this…shaming a coping technique and saying that the people who still use it daily are narcissistic and refuse to take part in reality, and that it’s just scary…NO. Just no. Stop shaming people like me who have full inner lives. Not all of us avoid reality completely and force others to comply with our fantasies. And even for those who do…just stop demonizing this. Have some GD MF compassion and see how much strength it took to survive the things they have had to endure. Most of us had our innocence stripped away at a young age. We were unwanted, unloved and in the way. This may be an addiction. It it’s better than doing drugs, hurting others or hurting ourselves. As a future mental health professional, I will give positive regard to all my future clients, I will not demonize their coping technisches. If it interferes with their life I will coach them with compassion, it demonize them for surviving

@IndigoPixieDreaming

2 ай бұрын

Calling it “crazy” too…I mean come on. Just stop.

@eliezer1060

2 ай бұрын

I'm always happy with people who disagree.. and I like your comment.

@evadoarfs4131

2 ай бұрын

Totally agree with you!

@violetwang8649

Ай бұрын

What you do is not maladaptive daydreaming . It’s envisioning your future.

@josephpa05

Ай бұрын

@@violetwang8649 yup

People who leave comments on KZread videos saying things like this changed my life or this video saved my life, always sound crazy. That being said Tim’s videos saved my life.

@Charlieandcoconut

3 ай бұрын

We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t crazy ❤❤

@EricK-nm2gg

3 ай бұрын

You’re crazy man I tell ya. How can a video literally save your life? Spoiler alert: it totally can. All the best in your journey of healing, leaving ‘reality’ to live a real life.

@JohnDoe-vy5hh

2 ай бұрын

Loco

@HopelessAutistic

2 ай бұрын

Videos do not save lives. You’ll be hating these very same people you heroized in a couple years.

@solnsoul

2 ай бұрын

​@@HopelessAutistichere's some love for your soul : ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I am a writer and have finished my six story fantasy series of books, about to be published. It wasn't until the fifth book that I realized, I was writing about my own personal traumas. I turned my childhood traumas into something positive, as the characters and stories in my books. Turned a negative and horrible past into a positive story of pain, trauma and survival.

@valeriemoore7834

2 ай бұрын

I AM Thankful that you are now "Thriving".

@pattiwilliams6765

2 ай бұрын

Art therapy at it’s best, creating from the chaos.. Well done, brilliant catharsis.

@justamom4853

2 ай бұрын

What will your books be titled, please? I would love to support you. Best wishes on your journey.

@dianahaugh7521

2 ай бұрын

I am a prolific writer for the same reason

@Drawingtillthecasketdrops

2 ай бұрын

I draw and drew to survive it and get thru it . Alas, I often find it hard to return to reality and actually move beyond the trauma .

The world sucks at the moment - keeping my fantasies thank you.

@setofreakinkaiba8553

2 ай бұрын

For real

@dhanyashreenarayani3963

2 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@JenKay-vi2di

Ай бұрын

Same! 😁

@davipenha

Ай бұрын

This is terrible to you. Please don't, I've been there. Jesus is the escape out of fantasy because He is the Truth and gives us hope of a better day.

@jacqqulen9106

Ай бұрын

​@@davipenha you're no better lol

As a disabled man my fantasy world is what keeps me able to cope with this shallow harsh cruel world.

I was a 'burden' kid with untreated autism. My parents resented me and the school kids hated me. I wasn't welcome anywhere. I would disassociate constantly to the point that I struggled to control when I would slip into it, because I genuinely didn't want to leave it. I learned to hate myself so much that I wasn't even in my fantasy worlds - I was a silent spectator. I had no idea until today that what I was doing is a sign of extreme abuse. I've used my fantasy habit for fiction writing. It's my passion now.

@valeriemoore7834

2 ай бұрын

You are needed and wanted here. ❤

@madlynx1818

2 ай бұрын

Awesome that you are writing. My trauma has been beyond overwhelming too and I’ve always escaped into being alone and reading. And I write too. Good luck.

@Theonly_Onyx

2 ай бұрын

me too

@kodeh7931

2 ай бұрын

Glad you could find an outlet.

@juliedurden9479

2 ай бұрын

You are wanted, needed and loved! Your childhood sounds so much like mine…I was adopted as a baby and raised as an only child and we were moving constantly, from state to state! In that situation it is almost impossible to learn how to make and keep friends. I had imaginary friends…stuffed toys, Barbies, even playing cards that I would assign names and roles too, so that I could create my own safe happy world where I was important. And the bullying, oh my gosh yes! I was beaten up, had rocks thrown at me, was thrown into a canal that has alligators in it, all kinds of nasty things put in my hair or on my clothes….its a wonder you and I grew up to be functioning adults! Much love and support to you and to anyone who has been through this, and I hope you can find a safe place where you can find support on a regular basis.

Having a Mom who was emotionally unsafe and a Dad who was too afraid to stand up to her,, my favorite and constant fantasy was that I was hurt or in danger (lost in a forest or attacked by pirates) and someone was rescuing me in some fantastic way...with my Mom far away. I never went to bed without "imagining" something first.

@Watercolordragon

2 ай бұрын

Cool! Who do the pirates represent in your family system? Have you come to any conclusions?

@terri2e

2 ай бұрын

Yes, I had the same parental pattern and many of my fantasies had to do with being injured and then being cared for. (That fantasy got blown out of the water when I was in the hospital for 8 days and my husband didn’t visit me ONCE.)

@5Ducklings

2 ай бұрын

I discovered "imagining" when I was 7 years old and it was such an incredible release for me! I didn't mind going to bed anymore because I could escape into my fantasy world. That changed as I got older. For some reason, I don't know why, I felt horribly guilty about it and always tried to stop but I never could. Now, I'm kinder to myself and see it as an important survival tool I used.

@robbiepluta1358

Ай бұрын

I remember the first time I thought to myself “nobody loves me”. It was after coming home from school on Friday, having been ignored by everyone the whole day, to play with my legos at home. My mom told me I needed to clean them up, and when I wasn’t taking care of it fast enough, she smashed everything I had built and screamed that she was going to throw them all away. I ran to my room and cried, and when I realized there was no one around who cared to comfort me, I started imagining people who did. I hope you’ve been able to find healing after all these years.

@sacredheartsisters891

Ай бұрын

@robbiepluta1358 I hope you find healing too, I have in a discovering that there is a Love that loves me the way I know I need to be loved. There is a Divine love that heals all broken human love.

The day that I learned the term "Maladaptive Daydreaming" was beyond therapeutic for me. I never knew that I wasn't the only one doing this. I never knew why I did this. I absolutely suffered from CPTSD. I survived it. I now have to stop because I am 40. Thanks for this video.

@imwatchinuuuu

2 ай бұрын

I was shaking when I read about it years ago. That feeling freed me in a way I couldn’t manage myself.

@rolf7135

2 ай бұрын

Same, but I mostly stopped in the mid 20s but now have insomnia. My brain seems to need something to think on, so no it is an endless stream of worries.I kind of wish I knew of this earlier so I could have taken steps to solve it.

@alexaf2744

2 ай бұрын

Check out the Fantasy addiction meetings within the 12 step programme sex and love addicts anonymous (SLAA).

@juliakalinina9676

2 ай бұрын

OMG YES I had my suspicions when I joined Tumblr (don't judge me). But when I learned this word I felt so miserable and yet so happy. I wasn't alone in this melancholic rapture

@BeccyBum

2 ай бұрын

I read your comment 6 hours ago and it sent me down a rabbit hole. I'm shook.

The more I heal from trauma, the less I escape into fantasy. At first, it felt like I lost my dreams - like I no longer had the ability to dream about the future. It felt like another loss until I understood that it was a good thing!

@x-mess

2 ай бұрын

Thank you for posting.. it made me realize that for me it was singing… I used to get lost in it… hours a day… now I never sing. This post made me realize that why I don’t need to.

@SEBOSONORO

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for that! I realized the same, but I didn't know it was a healing effect. 😊

@MissAynneK

2 ай бұрын

I’m so glad you shared this! I felt the same kinda sadness for not having dreams too. Then I realized that if I’m *present* and living right now, that real life is also full of wonderful, meaningful moments too 😊

@thenovicenovelist

2 ай бұрын

How did you start to feel good about it afterwards? Because whenever I think about stopping it makes me super depressed because my reality is very depressing and I don't know how to fix it . When I ask people for help/advice about how to fix it, including ones I pay to help me, they basically brush me off. So, I end up returning back to the fantasy world when I'm not working.

@sigmarealm1111

2 ай бұрын

Oh wow. Wow

I was constantly disassociating throughout my life whenever I was unable to escape extreme abuse.

@JohnDoe-vy5hh

2 ай бұрын

I still am.

@Vee0777

2 ай бұрын

​@@JohnDoe-vy5hh hope you get well by time, and that you inner child could become whole again and mature as it should be

@lemsip207

2 ай бұрын

Me too. I noticed I had started a day dreaming habit at conferences and in meetings where I suddenly found myself at rock concerts I had been to recently or was replaying music videos in my head. It was because I was switching off from insincere talk by professionals and badly run break out groups where users would share their life stories instead of getting on with the discussion in hand. I was afraid to get up and walk out. Then I decided to take charge and get up and walk out when the day dreaming habit started because it was my mind protecting me from hearing propaganda and wanting to go up and criticise people.

@jahoytodiesforahoy4615

2 ай бұрын

I live and breathe it 🎉

You right about all this. But let’s not make the traumatized person feel bad about how they learned to cope using fantasy, as a child and then as an adult. (As I did ). He needs to gently learn to come back to reality and know that it’s safe now, if it in fact is. 🍀

I was bullied so much and had no friends. Eventually i started dreaming about how i would become the cool kid and all bullies would wanna be friends with me. I was literally treated like a plaugue people just didn't want me arround and as an introvert it was even harder to get friends. All i day dream about is having friends that love me and wanna hang out with me.

@dhamotharan1734

2 ай бұрын

Same thing.

@shreyaalokgupta

2 ай бұрын

@@dhamotharan1734 I can relate hope you're better now I usually don't reply to comments but i know how it feels to be broken

@user-rh3io5qz5c

Ай бұрын

May you be at ease and free from all pains.

@youtubeaccountserio2633

Ай бұрын

And to get the cool girl

@shreyaalokgupta

27 күн бұрын

@@user-rh3io5qz5c i am recovering thank you so much for asking

lost myself in my mind, video games, books. The isolation everyone experienced in 2020 was my normal life routine, im finally starting to understand how unhealthy it is to live like this

@lightningblue4498

Ай бұрын

Same here and growing up and having to face reality and figuring out a career path are just so mundane and difficult. I just want to escape into my fantasy world 24/7.

here's the thing, it's so EMBARASSING i can't even begin to think about to bring it to my therapist. And it's destroying my real life

@Polinavorn

2 ай бұрын

Try writing it out in a journal, how you would share it with a therapist, to desensitize

@thomasmaughan4798

2 ай бұрын

What I think of therapist is built into the word itself -- add a space after "the". Your mileage may vary. I'll be your friend for $100 an hour!

@naturLSuccessn

2 ай бұрын

I was SUPER embarrassed to bring it up at first but it was easier to say when I worded it like, “ I am noticing that I am coping during the day by day dreaming about _person/relationship, etc” instead of saying you’re obsessed with someone or something.

@aprilpryor2332

2 ай бұрын

My therapist has given me so many tools to overcome this. Any trauma-informed therapist will be more than familiar with it. There are also maladaptive daydreaming videos on KZread that are helpful and Facebook groups. You are not alone.

@thomasmaughan4798

2 ай бұрын

@@isaiahfenior1276 "my therapist was very helpful." At a hundred bucks an hour I hope very helpful.

Heck I did this in school..like geography and history. Now im 73 and still do it. It saved me from insanity

@loverainthunder

2 ай бұрын

It saves a great many people. ❤

@janetkamal1421

2 ай бұрын

It’s also a symptom of ADHD

@YueAki

2 ай бұрын

I did that a lot for math and physics classes

@primrosedahlia9466

2 ай бұрын

Thats different tho... Escaping from things that make you uncomfortable, versus survival strategy in trauma - are two very different things. If you do it as a trauma strategy, then limerence is a big problem for you....which is why so many traumatized people focus sooo much energy on dysfunctional or nonexistent relationships... Its when you sit on your couch all day in fantasy land instead of dealing with your trauma. Its why you are reactive instead of seeing a trigger and dealing with that trigger in a healthy mature way. Its why someone will have fantasies instead of actually making a plan and going out into the world to make that plan come true.

@JenJHayden

2 ай бұрын

@@janetkamal1421who cares. You say that like it's a bad thing.

Star trek literally saved my life, and kept me off drugs. It was a lifeline of story. Science, explore. And openess.

@DawnDavidson

2 ай бұрын

Live long and prosper! 🖖

@kithu1231

2 ай бұрын

Vulcan salute 🖖

@electricfishfan7159

Ай бұрын

Last time I got shut down over something, I said, “well, time for STO and a DS9 marathon 🤪”

@danascully1248

15 күн бұрын

I don't have any trauma, but I watched an unhealthy about of Sci fi in high school. It was really embarrassing and weird to watch trek characters who directly mirrored my problems. I had ocd and was extremely obsessed with efficiency and order like 7 of 9. I wanted to be efficient like a robot - which made the tng episode where data saves a little boy who then decides to become a robot pretty convicting. Ngl I still wanted to not be myself but it was a weird experience. I was also basically Lt Barclay: excelled academically but replaced social life with fantasy worlds.

My childhood fantasy was that a wholesome loving woman would find me & take me in as there little girl & love & cherish me, my mother never did sadly 🤷‍♀️

@Laura-tp8wz

2 ай бұрын

I am so sorry and hope you can find some peace. Many blessings to you.

@jmvwegnerpriest

2 ай бұрын

♥💕Me too. Love and courage to you.

@BeehiveEnvy

2 ай бұрын

I'm. sorry ! I. felt that. at. times !

@veronicafullford1697

2 ай бұрын

To read that bought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry that was your childhood experience.

@Gailey379

2 ай бұрын

I feel you!

It's why our society of spectacle is occupy our spirit all the time...in fact, all of us are escaping into fantasy, TV, cinema, books...all of them bring us into lalaland.

@seniorarubia

2 ай бұрын

Truth 😢😅

@roses6564

2 ай бұрын

Truth 100%. Most people escape in social pressure and role playing, and call that reality. They marry people they don’t match, stay with those they no longer do and so on. If most people walk around like zombies, the awakened ones qualify as escapers.

@dreamystreams-vc1bo

2 ай бұрын

@@roses6564Our problem is not about the absence of god...but the absence of us.

Complex trauma being in a black sheep/ golden child complex, plus emotional immaturity exacerbated by emotionally reactive parents. I ran headlong into fantasy in the way I think you’d call healthy, but in context, really was just coping as best I could but had negative consequences. Novels, games, specifically in the fantasy genre. It was the only thing that got me through. And I got pretty obsessive about it. Reading and secretly waking up in the middle of the night to play video games. Watched a lot of anime. School work suffered. You know what got me out of an unhealthy dependence on fantasy worlds? When my living situation changed and I started getting those things I really needed. I went to college. Got away from my parents. Made genuine friends I am still friends with to this day. I still love fantasy. I write fantasy. I play video games regularly. But it is a healthy relationship now.

@zohashahid30984

2 ай бұрын

Yes whenever I get those things which I dream of some part of me heals

@yahtziririos

Ай бұрын

YEAAAH WOOOHOOO, you go man 👊!!!!!! You are the 🐐, how’s college?

1. Never got appreciated during childhood>>> developed fantasies how I am better than others and by a little try I can do better. When I fail i blame my surroundings because obviously i cannot do any wrong can I ?? It's always something or someone who is jealous of me and try to sabotage me. That is why i failed. 2. I used to get bullied a lot.>> fantasized about having a lot of friends and being the most popular one in school. 3. Didnt have anything interesting going on in my life>>>escaped in fairytales.. where I imagined myself to be one of the characters. I was the favorite princess or the gallant warrior or brave lead etc. 4. Career stress>>> escaping into thinking i am super brilliant and i can crack the toughest exam just by manifesting. P.s. you sir helped me a lot. I hope one day I can return to this post and comment about my success in life not in terms of money etc but being mentally stable and affirmative. Thank you so so much.

@yahtziririos

Ай бұрын

I see a lot of similarities between us… cool

@babyelephant14

Ай бұрын

I understand you so much...

@clementine.6.2.2

24 күн бұрын

this whole comment is me and my life 😂

Life is tough, survive it anyway you can. In 2021 in TWO WEEKS... I lost my 23 year old niece, my father, and my brother n law. As a responsible adult, my family put aside our own grief to help the rest of my family. Within six months.... I was writing again. For a year and a half, I crafted and published 40 SciFi/Fantasy/Romance books. I lived in those worlds as I wrote them; I was fully aware I was 'escaping' this dumpster fire we call earth. My characters too had traumas, however as the author, I managed their trials and destiny. In the end, it was 'I' who controlled the outcome... unlike reality. My creative brain is dry now after nearly 2 years of intense fantasy writing. My bank account is healthy. I say deal with trauma in what ever way it works for you, try to do it without alcohol and drugs and you should be good :)

@mynameisvestah

2 ай бұрын

thats inspiring, i started writing myself and my goal it's to be independent from ym shitty family, it's all i want

@healthiswealth1845

2 ай бұрын

This form of addiction and escapism is the best since it doesn't damage your physical health or drain your bank account like drugs and alcohol. I too write novels and health books.

@nothanks0009

2 ай бұрын

I relate to your story so much! Had a rough school life and in college I finally had enough time to write down all my daydreams and by the time I graduated I made bank. Then the creativity well dried up once I entered the real world. Fell into dark hole and got trapped into a dreamless realm for almost a year. I used to do bed rotting and spend all day on kindle. Then last year in September that creativity well started to swell with water again but this time it's overflowing and I'm just too overwhelmed to put it on paper but it's a good thing. I know what it's like to live without dreams. I'd rather have too many of them. I write full time now.

@Der.Geschichtenerzahler

2 ай бұрын

I've been writing fantasies since 2018. Two of them have around 200 pages already. I guess it feels so good to get into these worlds because you become a god in them, determining what's going to take place. Maybe we're also characters of a book being written by someone out there.

My escape was in reading. Voraciously. Being in a military family, we moved every year. Different school every year. I'd read everything in the library, every year. I tested high school reading level by 3rd grade. I still read everything. It remains my escape.

@Jerryhayes2

2 ай бұрын

Same

@zerrinak317

2 ай бұрын

Great way to escape also developing yourself. Books r great friends.

@Ladybug2461

2 ай бұрын

Same here.

@CillasSketchbook-ln6ig

2 ай бұрын

I did this too 😳

@rkjeffery777

2 ай бұрын

I'm glad you love reading. I find it hard to sit still and read, now that I'm an adult.

Why is it a bad thing? By definition you would assume all positive order and creativity. Is born this way.

During this lecture, I just started crying at some point, for "no reason". Then suddenly I remembered an important part of my childhood, it was eye-opening to me. Why is that carpet on the wall so often present in my childhood memories? Oh! That's because I cried there a lot, that far corner in the room was like my safe place. I used to examine the pattern on the carpet and often argued with my imaginary doppleganger whether the carpet pattern is beautiful or ugly.

I can attest to this. Escape into fantasy (in other words a rich imagination) saved me during my childhood. But I don’t agree that’s it’s a problem. It is a gift. Sadly my imagination was much more vivid in childhood. It seems to have been lost to me in adulthood.

@perplexedmoth

2 ай бұрын

Exactly. It's the opposite, we should try to cultivate and learn to use it, not suppress it and let it atrophy. Life is a fantasy, almost nothing exists in its own outside our ability to interpret it -- except the raw sensory pain and pleasure. What we experience as meaning, love, inspiration, affection are all thanks to the power of imagination. It is a double edged sword though, it is easy to take nightmares and fantasies as truths. One must be aware that all is a fantasy, and be able to separate from truth from fantasy.

@farnregen

2 ай бұрын

Thats why i rather pursue a balance. I still want my stories, my worlds... But not in the way that its hindering me. Same with my phone&internet

I think he's mainly seeing the visible bad side of escapism. Its often the difference between life and death. It good gained is essential. So essential. I think people focused on the bad side should look at it as overcoming an operation. The operation was necessary and you survived. Now we take care after the operation making sure it doesn’t get infected or the healed incisions don't get so tight they prevent movement. As a survivor, I feel I overcame some crazy stuff. And I'm getting tired of people who don't understand the power amd constant effort it took. Its amazing if the "operation" worked. But I feel that people who teach this without having gone through the fire just don't respect or understand or feel the magnetude of the difficulty of the operation or the power used to overcome.

@Rob_132

2 ай бұрын

Yes, the fantasies served an important survival role. They were highly adaptive when they were used in survival situations. The problem, as you maybe are recognizing, is when fantasies are used in current times when survival isn’t on the line. The fantasies can take us out of reality, but at times we’d be better served by being in reality. Facing real life, real problems, real love, real hurt. Not easy at all. The fantasies have such a draw and feel so controllable and ideal. Issue is, we might miss the people we can actually relate with, the places we can really travel to, etc. I struggle with this. Maybe you have a point. Would honoring the fantasies and paying them respect be helpful? Maybe we could try to appreciate their roles but then tell them it’s time to say goodbye, thank you, I need to let you go now. And then recognize when we go into fantasy, and at least be aware and honest when we do it. And then if we must, go on and fantasize. But maybe 1 time we recognize the fantasy starting up, we pause and choose to be in reality instead.

@loverainthunder

2 ай бұрын

I love what you've written here. I require ideas that energize me. So, while the Pro is right in a general sense, a skill is a skill. Honoring my imagination feels like honoring my instinct to survive and the pain I've made it through and the skill I used to do it. It feels like I'm recognizing and capitalizing on all my efforts. You can put your imagination to rest in a powerful way if you can imagine some deeply meaningful symbolism for putting it to rest. After you've repeatedly imagined putting it to rest while respecting and reserving it for further use, you'll have an ability in your pocket that you can direct towards external real-world things. The imaginary world is not opposed to the fantast world. But the venturing out, getting hopes up, losing, winning, suffering having fun in the real world is simply excellent because that edge of excitement, the intimacy with others, curiosity, and feeling accomplished in the real world is delicious. I'm never going to let anyone tell me my strength is a weakness. But I'm not going to lean on my imagination as if it's the reason I came to this planet. I came here to enjoy the real. And it's healthy to have a variety of coping mechanisms and tools for self management. Real life is sometimes so much better than anything I've imagined. But I did have to do the work of using my imagination to put my imagination on a prolonged time out. 😂 It was very, very hard at first. I don't honor my fantasies exactly. I honor the usefulness of that which saved my life. So I honor my imagination. Many fantasies are silly indicators of what we might be needing more of in the moment. Also, I used my imagination to quit smoking. 😆 I just don't like framing something essential as problematic. Especially when it, when directed, is so helpful. Everything can become a habit. With the right symbolism and emotion, you will never give up.

@Vee0777

2 ай бұрын

As good as it be, for someone that using escapism too long, it make us hard to related to people. Since reality will always disappointing us And it also affect romantic relationship Sadly we cant lived in fantasy too much, and when you first let go of it, you will feel very lonely I made quite few bad decisions because having wrong kind of fantasy about people and it painful when they never like that

@shadowfax9177

Ай бұрын

It makes sense why he focuses on the bad side. He's trying to help people.

@Arya-cf7vu

5 күн бұрын

Well said. Thank you ❤❤❤❤

As a person who has spent time escaping into fantasy, mostly to feel like someone cares about me, pays attention to me, and most importantly, accepts me for who i am, i think one of the things that makes it challenging to change the habit is that the fantasizing reduces the natural human desire, need, to actually connect with people. Dont 'feel' as lonely as i really am. But being aware of it has been the start of change. Takes courage. Thanks Tim and production team.

@nikkireigns

2 ай бұрын

Wow, well said!

@bronsonmcdonald5473

2 ай бұрын

@@nikkireigns thank you

@SatanenPerkele

Күн бұрын

Same. It's a deep, heartbreaking longing for unconditional love 😞

I have been doing this since I was 10. It‘s like imagining the story of a book. I have many „books“ that I like to visit every now and then. It was like a hobby to me, when I was lying in bed at night to dream until I fell asleep. It does not interfere with my daily life, it’s just like a hobby I still sometimes do, not unlike reading a book. But I always imagined something outside of real life unrelated to my own experiences and didn’t confuse it with my own life.

I daydream a lot. I hate my real life. I wish I never had kids or married. If I knew I would struggle so much alone I would've never chosen this path. Daydreaming helps keep me sane throughout this survival period. Honestly, I don't want help for it, because I still do what needs to be done to keep my kid fed, clothed, happy. I want to have my fantasy land for gods sake. I don't want to be made to feel guilty about it.

@Es97Coqui

2 ай бұрын

Please make sure you’re totally emotionally present for your kids and respect and let them think and feel and act out their expression.

@scoobz4177

2 ай бұрын

@Es97Coqui yes I absolutely let them do that. My kid is 2 already knows his alphabet, counting, shapes, colors... is very affectionate with people. Everyone he meets, neighbors, grandparents, etc they say he is so well behaved. I work really hard with my kiddo. But there are some days I wish I didn't do this because it's caused me so much of my sanity, time and patience. Often times I think my kid deserves someone else for a parent.

@jamessharpe1717

2 ай бұрын

We all want what we don't have and don't appreciate what we already have.​@@isaiahfenior1276

@ClayMastah344

2 ай бұрын

You can always leave. You don’t have to be a mom or married. Seriously. Like Alice walker.

@scoobz4177

2 ай бұрын

@ClayMastah344 it's not that easy to just "leave". You need to have a job, resources, money saved up to just leave. Then there's the guilt of it all too. I couldn't live with myself

not me accidentally daydreaming while watching this

I've noticed that I often daydream, especially when I'm listening to music or getting ready to sleep. It's become like a addiction, kind of like smoking a cigarette. Certain feelings like anger, frustration, or stress tend to make me daydream even more. But I've realized that it's stopping me from enjoying life fully and becoming a better person. Plus, I'm finding it hard to remember things, even stuff that happened just yesterday or a few years ago. So, I've decided to stop daydreaming this year and try to change that.

@fie4426

29 күн бұрын

To me another trauma blocked the fantasy dissociation. So suddenly i was locked into reality. It was so wild its funny

I just turned 60. I can't do the maladaptive thing anymore. I need to know I'm safe now. The thing that protected me at one time no longer served me, it robs me.

My fantasies always involve really difficult scenarios but with me also being incredibly capable of handling them. Intellectually I know they're not real but I'm also paranoid that someone is going to find out about them and think I'm delusional. I think it's a response to the lack of control I feel over my own life. If only I was capable of doing so many great things maybe I'd feel satisfied with my life or something along those lines. I don't recall any history of abuse as a child and no obvious sources of trauma but I do believe I fit criteria of ADHD and a commenter mentioned this is something people with ADHD also do.

@patinho5589

2 ай бұрын

We all have a post childhood stress disorder (PCSD) like PTCD. Greg Baer wrote a book about it.

@jacqqulen9106

Ай бұрын

Same lol my fantasies always involve self perfection

Fantasy has always been a way for me to fill the Longing of a parental figure who cares and unconditionally loves me. I am doing better, but the Longing is still there and it always will be there.

I was diagnosed with ptsd BEFORE i met the psychopath. After 3 years, he abandoned me, destroyed in every way he possibly could. I just sat and stared for days. Eventually my mind started to wonder and i created a beautiful place in my head. It developed into a long story, one I'd like to write down, and, even tho i went there too often, i honestly believe that beautiful daydream kept me from self destruction and helped me heal

@indigosmyth7475

2 ай бұрын

Well that is basically what the video is saying, it's your trauma response to a heartbreak and so as long as you were able to be done with that fantasy and continue in reality is the success but some people chose to stay there because they are too scared to face reality- easier said than done at times imo❤

I'm 19, and about to be 20. for my entire childhood and into my teenage years, I've always daydreamt. i was a good student too, it wasn't just escaping but also feeling even better. now i realize its effects it had on me, both negative and positive. the positive side is, i tried to be the ideal version of myself irl, and i think i made a good job on increasing my emotional maturity and the quality of my relationships by trying to become a better person. however, i got addicted, and started to spend most of my time for daydreaming, despite having important things to do. I've been trying to see the root of the problem and i think i do now. now that I've gotten what i could get out of it, it's about time i stop wasting my precious time on this, and instead live my youth and create relationships like the ideal me in my fantasy world would. i love this video, it's so thorough for me and i needed this. i wish good luck on everyone on this journey. it's never too late to start fighting back your urges. have a nice day :)

My name is Oscar, 32 years Old, from the Philippines. I dont have a job. No money, No friends, No Social life, No Girlfriend. I have been bullied by my own relatives when i was a child, Bullied by my Classmates Since Gradeschool to College. Because of that i became Introvert and Anti-Social. Daydreaming is my favorite pass Time, in my Dream i can be whatever i want and i feel so Special, A man with a Purpose, Very successful and Loved by many. I really wish my Dreams are my Reality because my life Sucks😅

@InChristIDelight

27 күн бұрын

Oscar, Jesus Christ sees you. He cares for you and loves you so so much. So do I. The Bible is a love letter to you from God. Read it if you can. Read Mark Matthew Luke or John

@eslaigersten7022

6 күн бұрын

You can do it!! One baby step at a time. Ask God to help you. Surround yourself with people who wont be toxic but will really love you. Find a good Christian church🙏🏻

@cassia29

4 күн бұрын

„For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.“ ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ God (Jesus) has a plan for you. If you give your life to Christ, you will live out his plans for you. Thats when you will no longer need your fantasy because your Reality becomes greater than your fantasy. Can you Imagine? He loves you buddy ❤️

I believe "Limerence " also has the escape method. To have Fantasies of a crush who may not be choosing you. You daydream that they do love you and will eventually ask you out..

My therapist always told me “ One brick in reality is more important than a mansion in fantasy”.

When I was 9-10, I often imagined myself as a student in Hogwarts or fighiting the Uruk-hais with Aragorn for hours. Over the years I daydreamed myself in alternative universes with complex scenarios everyday and it felt so fun. But there were times I certainly felt I was not enjoying my life as much as I was enjoying my daydreams. It is indeed very addictive and if you lose the control, it can waste your time big time. I am 29 years old now, graduated my Master’s Degree, got married recently and trying to build my life around. I still daydream a lot, but trying my best to don’t allow them waste my time as much as it used to be. We are not alone and we have the ultimate control of our minds. I wish everyone the best of luck!

I did this almost my entire life labeling myself as a dreamer, idealist, or a romantic. I'm a video game artist, and being lost in fantasy & imagination is my whole career. I thought of my artistic brain as a simulation sandbox, where I could test to see certain actions would have certain outcomes. If I acted on the fantasy, reality would sometimes follow the same course because it was so hyper-analytical. I used it to understand people quite intimately by simulating myself in their scenarios. Needless to say it was a core part of my personality and something I viewed as a super power. But as I got older, went though a lot of pain, went from sensitive to logical, from emotional to stoic, spiritual to agnostic, fantasy stopped making sense, and it became harder to cope. I realize how much time I've wasted living in my head. When I was lonely, I day dreamed about hypothetical relationships and scenarios, but to this day never shared a kiss. Obviously I'd switched geared, and made a mindful practice to live in the moment, ground myself, be logical, and critical about my own dreams. That said, I still have to use "controlled" fantasy as a coping mechanism, because reality can be too painful sometimes. So I immerse myself into fantasy games, like World of Warcraft, FFXIV, RPGs, or watch anime, so I could still to some measure escape from reality in a controlled manner. This helps me process things in increments. To give an example, when I had a breakup, I just binged video games, it didn't magically stop me from processing the breakup / or spare me from the pain, but it helped buffer it, so I could slowly process it in a way that didn't feel crushing. What a great talk Tim! You've given me a lot to think about.

@ziyanda6521

2 ай бұрын

Video game artist sounds like an enjoyable career

Shame, it began with shame, i hate myself, and that made me create oh so many personas to feel happy and loved. This video opened my eyes. I never knew why I did this. Why do i feel the necessity to escape from reality every day?

@rebbitlover

Ай бұрын

Really can understand you.. I also had same issue of self hate and shame...and I would isolate my self from everyone, thinking I don't deserve to be loved, appropriated, things like that...but as i got healed I understand that was only illusion, I prefer to hide so to avoid reality... Never hate yourself, you deserve to be loved and appreciated...and there is real world where you are like that... You just have to step out from illustrations and become present.. All I want to say healing is possible, there is totally different world out there..

Personally, I used it to create a “good role model” since no adults were positive around me and then lived out my life to become like that person. In my case, a “warrior” & “healer”. It was not a bad figure overall thankfully but now the perfectionism has kicked in to be exactly like the figure in some unrealistic ways... So interesting to figure this out. Thank you! 🙏

@jmvwegnerpriest

2 ай бұрын

I like to pretend that someone like Michelle Obama or Katherine the princess are my mother. I’m 46 haha. I’m perfectly aware of it, but I think I tap into their sense of calm they present, even when they are bombarded with negative press they appear to be able to manage. My own parents are horribly emotionally disregulated in every situation, so for me to pretend someone else is my guide is actually quite a safe and positive fantasy. It’s calming ♥.

@sandywichmann9292

2 ай бұрын

So true!

@yahtziririos

Ай бұрын

Nice

Fantasy world is a boon and a bane, it helped me survive my worst ... but also made me realise much later i was not living fully ...As a kid i had small day dreaming fantasy ..however as a teenager and young adult when constant abuse , fear , insecurity and anxiety kicked in .... my love for books .. created a complete wonderful fantasy world inside my head... with characters and tough situations... and overcoming that etc ....i would escape to fantasy world, during travel, boring lectures , family events etc... this allowed me to survive and live through those characters... while i kept goals in real life and kept clearing them like clock work... finish the work here and go back to fantasy. Years passed ... life changed .... people kept telling me i am this perfect career and mystery person ... and many even asked why i am so observant.... but as time changed and i grew older i realised... my fantasy world was not safe zone it is actually keeping me blanketed ... not doing anything that i actually wanted to do ... however , fantasy allowed me to have a good career , straight A , avoiding all kinds of conflict....years i tried to get rid of this fantasy world but couldnt and it was not harming me as well . Then suddenly something weird happened... first time in life i got hooked to a new hobby other than reading... and without me realising within 8 months i had completely stopped running back to my fantasy world ...and finally all the reality started hitting me.. in early 30s .....is this the life i want , why do i agree to everyone elses needs , why am i procrastinating so much , why cant i be as productive and goal oriented as earlier etc

me creating my fictional multiverse in my head since I can remember. Literally all of my characters are self inserts and represent aspects of me. Hopefully one day will be able to turn it into an animated series.

@shr1mppoboi950

2 ай бұрын

Thats an awesome goal, don't give up! I've done the same with my own fantasies, i hope to turn mine into a illustarted book series!

@lina.lry8

2 ай бұрын

OMG THATS SO COOL GOOD LUCK@@shr1mppoboi950

@electricfishfan7159

Ай бұрын

I do the same, but for me, part of the fantasy _was_ the possibility of me making a video game or animation or drawing or whatever about it. It has been important for me to level with myself that it’s okay for certain things to just be mine, the fantasy doesn’t need a pretense of productivity or validity, that’s not serving me if it’s putting pressure on me further, and I would have pursued art as a career and wasted tons of money if I’d gone on without introspection. Ever since then, I actually started fantasizing much less, and when I do it’s more directed about my genuine emotions rather than pure distractions from them. Best of luck to you ♥️

Both of my marriages were fantasy based and very unhealthy.I found alcohol to cope with those fantasies. I wore those rose color glasses and fueled by alchohol i gradually lost myself.Very painful.

I got so overwhelmed that I couldn't even watch the whole video . God bless you, man.

@eileengale7661

3 ай бұрын

This happens with every single video I’ve watched of his. It IS overwhelming, hopefully, only at first. Last night I actually got through 3/4 of one video instead of the usual 10 min. I was pleasantly surprised! 😅

@goldilocks913

2 ай бұрын

@@eileengale7661that’s excellent! Maybe it’s like getting over a phobia, we need gradual exposure?

@eileengale7661

2 ай бұрын

@@goldilocks913 Yes, I think so. Now I can watch a full episode when it works.Yay!

@Rob_132

2 ай бұрын

Happened to me during video 1 on perfectionism… tough to look in the mirror… Sucks that this stuff was done to us and now it’s our responsibility to heal from it. But maybe that happens to everyone in some way. I think when we suffered during childhood it’s just so difficult to see what mistaken approaches we take now, much less be able to fix ourselves. Thank goodness for resources like these.

@Vee0777

2 ай бұрын

When m facing something that can trigger our trauma, it will be scary but as times goes, it become less scary Just watch it slowly, in another video Tim mention that it like roller coaster, at first frightening but as you retried again and again, you become able enjoy it Dont force watch it whole, take a breath and stop it before it get overwhelming. That's the benefit of youtube, we can replay the video over and over again and watch it depend on our own pace No need to rush, have compassion to self, dont blame or felt guilty and shame That's what our inner child do to survive in the past, that's the only tool they know, give them a good pat in the head and let them free from the old cage of trauma they stucked in, and now it is us that need to be more mature and learn new healthy tools to be heal

I’m 77 and have been doing this my whole life. Sure enough, I had married an emotionally abusive man. I didn’t know any better, but I did leave with two small children. I’ve never remarried because Prince Charming never showed up on his white steed at my doorstep. All my fantasies are about romance. I guess it’s compensation due to a very suppressive upbringing. I’m not sure how to re-enter the dating game, and not sure if I want to. But, at least, I can start getting more involved in things I’m interested in.

This was mind blowing. I have been living in a fantasy world my whole life. My fantasy life has everything including loving parents and stable extended family (which i didnt). A loving family of her own, an understanding partner, children and now even grandchildren! I even imagined this person having issues and tragedies of her own but her support group made the difference. My reality in turn really sucked after having narcissistic parents and partners - all my partners denied me the wish to be a mother. Im now 50, divorced, father in a nursing home and a bitter, nasty mother. No wonder i have lived in this world i thought there was nothing wrong until this guy pointed it out

I just want to say to everyone here that i am almost in tears. I genuinely thought i was alone with this imagination of mine. Im fully aware its a coping mechanism, but damnit, i love the worlds ive built. Life would be so boring without the self talk and conversations I have and experiences and adventures I go on. Not to get too dark, but even at low low low times, ny worlds have jept me afloat. I had never contemplated self harm. Again, not to trigger anyone. But i feel thats the unfortunate difference between the survivors and those that cannot cope. The mind is such a mystery. People say, well why dont you want to go to Australia and Hawaii and such... if they knew the journeys ive been on, the plac3s and events ive seen and experienced, they wouldn't even bother to ask. I love my self talk and my worlds. I think its a gift to be able to transport oneself to other worlds. And hey, for all we know, those worlds are real 😉

I don't know why i am crying. Like someone telling me you are not at fault. You just choose to survive . It's way to survive. Thanks.

I’ve been escaping by watching all these videos...thank you so much!!!!

@TheASLAN316

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, me too. Really glad I've found his videos at this time in my life.

@leahflower9924

Жыл бұрын

Exactly watching escape fantasy videos is part of my dream world

Wow!! I tried to have a relationship with someone who has Complex Trauma.....I couldnt understand his ways. I broke it off but always felt bad because he was so nice but, I just felt that he wasnt grounded.....now I understand

I have painful emotions that I want to escape. Playing Video Games Help me Escape.

I went from maladaptive day dreaming to visualizing. Now my fantasy is my real life. I broke the matrix 😂

@Celisarei

2 ай бұрын

Oh please, how? I’m trying to do this but I get confused on the difference

@Celisarei

2 ай бұрын

Oh please, how? I’m trying to do this, but I get confused on the difference…

@ahhwe-any7434

12 күн бұрын

I was in my 40s when I realized what ppl meant by the matrix

I know someone from a horrible family with many kids. Much trauma. The kids developed ritualistic fantasy exercises in which they would sit in the dark basement together with music turned loud and rock back and forth. They were actively Cultivating disassociation as a skill, the older even coaching the younger. As adults they are ridden with problems.

I just by chance listened to this and I am blown away. I have been living this way, all my life. Thank you for this!

I live in my fantasy world because I choose my reality. You can go live in your ugly little reality if thats what you want, but dont try to tell me that Ive got issues because Im happy in my own world and Im not hurting anyone, not even myself.

@getabsolutelyfucked853

Ай бұрын

I love this ❤

@listentotheanimalscreamsha1511

Ай бұрын

This I never settled for horrible relationship with bad people because I'm ok with being alone. I rather live in my head than deal with narc demons

I've always been daydreaming and seeking escape in a fantasy world. Although the content of my dreams has been changing as I'm getting older, the main theme is always the same. In the fantasy I'm creating over and over again I win the lottery, but not the.crazy amount, just enough to buy a small house in one of the places I would want to live in, far away from toxic people I've been cursed with for 48 years of my life. The house is located in the countryside, preferably in Japan, where I'm able to take better care of my mental and physical health (I'm doing all that is in my power on a daily basis but doctors and dentists are expensive), learning Japanese without pressure and just living my life peacefully till I die. In my dream I'm taking care of my home and garden where I grow my own vegetables and fruits. I'm gradually getting to know people from the village and becoming good friends with them. I'm creating a peaceful and safe environment for myself to gradually heal my CPTSD and PTSD combined and I live 'happily ever after'. I just want peace and no drama in my life. I don't care about ambitious jobs, I despise rat race most people are taking part in and I want to surround myself with a few trustworthy people who will not hurt me.

@lolamilano3717

2 ай бұрын

Wow, you just described pretty close to what I've been dreaming for about the same length of time for all the same reasons! My heart breaks for us both 💔 I totally understand 😢 Big, long, tight hug...no words 🤗

@Rose_Ou

2 ай бұрын

@@lolamilano3717 much love to you too❤!!!

@shellone28

2 ай бұрын

I too win the lottery, share my massive wealth with a few meaningful people, via my wealth manager. By the time the news reaches others I’ve already left my life behind and am unreachable and completely inaccessible and in an undisclosed location akin to paradise. In reality, I’m driving to Trader Joes or spaced out at home. It’s one of my many mental getaways. 😢 I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home where we constantly moved and I changed schools, often during the school year. As a 40-something year old all I want is peace, a life as free of conflict as possible.

@Rose_Ou

2 ай бұрын

@@shellone28 oh how I wish we could make these dreams come true. Money is not the goal in itself but it's the means to create the most peaceful and stress free life possible. In this time and age it's impossible to be healthy and eat properly without financial security. Take care my fellow dreamer ❤😊

@shellone28

2 ай бұрын

@@Rose_OuI couldn’t agree with you more! Wishing you peace, contentment, and good health. ❤

Whenever I hear “as a child” I it bothers me that most of my adult life was outside of my skin, to escape.

@itsamerrylife9128

3 ай бұрын

I sympathize with that regret and relate.

ENFP I turned it into a career. I write and stage theater plays. Reading the comments, I see some people suggest it's an N thing ( intuitive mbti). We are more prone to ideas and "worlds". Is it always trauma? Also ... I've dreamt of a horse and got one. 10 years in - never regretted. Lots of work, but so rewarding to me. Perhaps, this is about when fantasy takes up all your time in a day and you don't actually DO things. Not sure

When I was a teen I’d lay in bed and imagine being someone else and being in a different world… there was always a man who loved me. I was coming back to the same scenario for weeks like it was a TV show. I sometimes did it for half the night. Now I know I was escaping my terrible home life and wanted to feel loved. I went no contact with my whole family last year.

I realized a few years ago that part of the reason I don't remember the overwhelming part of my childhood is because I escaped into fantasy that much. I remember the abuse happened, but I don't remember much else. Almost no good memories, very few neutral. Just bad memories and lots and lots of fantasy.

Im so rhankful you sre bring this shameful secret to life. My mother was a diagnosed beast and my father refused to protect us. He was an alcoholic and workaholic wirh some paranoia. Our "mother" was self righteous, covert, narcissistic and sadistic. It's really hard to break the habit; therapy and my faith have been a great relief.

@t.c.l1625

3 ай бұрын

Same problem. Much love🙏

@Lyrielonwind

3 ай бұрын

Same

@dermotjones8753

2 ай бұрын

My mother and father were identical to yours. I honestly hope you have healed. Therapy and 12th step program have helped me.

@Daysleeper1000

2 ай бұрын

@@dermotjones8753 thank you. I've had therapy off and on for years, and it's helped. I wish you the very best.

@sheilaboland6285

2 ай бұрын

@@dermotjones8753How we’re your grandparents?

I used to live in a fantasy world when I was a child. Now my imagination is not as good as before, but.. Fandoms, cartoons, songs, fantasies help me a lot. There's a lot of violence in the world, and there's nothing I can do about it. So fantasy helps distract from anxiety. Don't get me wrong, I have a lovely family, friends, but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE spending time alone, thinking about my fav fictional characters, even imagining dating with them. I love myself, my body, personality, I don't have insecurities (I literally sing out loud, when I walk, not disturbing other people, of course). I enjoy spending time alone, imagining different stories

I spent much of my childhood with, not in a fantasy world. I’d call mine an alternative universe, not a fantasy. I had another person who I “became.” We were very separate people and I was not the center of attraction in the alternative world. The alternative world was hardly free of conflict, of hard situations. I could move in and out of it at will, also, live in both worlds at once. In my case, I used my alternate identity to view reality and think of real world problems from a different perspective to work them out.

@loverainthunder

2 ай бұрын

Are you neurotypical vs autistic. I mean this seriously. I'm autistic and my imagination works similarly. I think it's normal for me to use my imagination in a solo way. Vs how I imagine others do it. I see non autistics involving themselves more in shared imagination. I probably sound nuts so it's completely OK if you don't answer. 😂

@loverainthunder

2 ай бұрын

I also had conflicts was not the center of attention either. ♡

@kikithepupper6774

2 ай бұрын

Holy snap I did the same...

@mariekatherine5238

2 ай бұрын

@@loverainthunder Just saw your question! I highly suspect I’m autistic, used to be called Asperger’s. I’m 73 years old, had emotional and social problems in school, but was near the top academically. If I were in school today, I have no doubt I’d be tested for it. I’m very aware that my thought processes are not like those of others. I had this figured out by the time I was about six or seven years old.

@loverainthunder

2 ай бұрын

@mariekatherine5238 I'm not surprised. Thank you for taking the time to answer. ♡ I was also good in school, I think our minds are very active. I mean autistic minds. The more I learn about autism the better I feel about myself. I did not understand regular people... made things hard.

I think besides shame being the underlying issue, this is what makes me so stressed in an intimate relationship. I place so much weight on the future I imagine with them that I forget about the present. The last woman I dated did the same thing as me, and it caused the relationship to go to 0-100-0 in about four weeks.

I'm so glad someone is addressing this. It sets up one's real life to have a domino effect of failure.

I actually did get a new puppy after my cats passed (20 year and 18 year old cats ). He is bringing lots of joy and love to my home. I also did get a new “used” convertible. I wanted a VW Beetle convertible for years. I really am enjoying my new car. I definitely have complex trauma. I had to live in a extreme violent home all through childhood. My new puppy was a great dream come true.

@carolgarrett1786

2 ай бұрын

I wholeheartedly support the new PUPPY❤🥰👍

@carolgarrett1786

2 ай бұрын

As much as I like Tim Fletcher, and get a lot out of his teachings, this particular one is not one of my favorites. I disagree with parts of it.

@socalfriend6985

2 ай бұрын

❤

@gothboschincarnate3931

2 ай бұрын

Good for you.... one of my cats arrived a few months in advance. i think she is dead now coz she touched me like she did 4 days before she actually arrived in this reality

@ianazavialova

2 ай бұрын

Puppies are a bad example. Dogs just bring pure joy ( and responsibility)

Amazing! I feel totaly blown up but I'm thankfull to God for his goodness. We humans are so complex and overwhelmed but God is huge and knows it all, let's trust Him!

This saved my life and allowed me to have hope to get me where I am today. But now learning what I thought was a magical super power was only a trauma response 😭

@helenahandkart1857

2 ай бұрын

He mentions how useful it can be.

This guy is THE ONLY Christian in this field who I have any time for

I lived most of my early adulthood escaping into fantasy. It was such a comfort to me. Ultimately, I found a therapist who helped me acknowledge something in my childhood that I had worked very hard to avoid. Recently, I realized that I no longer have those fantasies and thought it was the mark of an aging mind. But, this video made me realize that it’s actually a good thing, and that I am present in my life today because I am happy.

Table top role playing games saved my life as a kid and continue to do so to this day.

Thinking about a world where all of you are at ease and joyful. You all deserve it. It is yours.

I am baffled how this video interpreted my inner struggles!

Music and the fantasy world of records was my escape as a child. Having musical talent gave me the pass to go all the way into it. It ended up causing me to disassociate my personality from reality and the possibility of future outcomes.

My father was tyrannical with me and my sister growing up. I hated this man from the bottom of my heart. Dark fantasy about revenge and showing him who's the real man. I always escape in video game and always love final fantasy games. I wanted to become the hero who fight villain. Even having dark fantasy about becoming the villain and hearthless. For me the worst thing in life was showing my weakness, sadness and fear to the world. I secretly always wish I didn't have any emotion even if I know it's impossible. This lead me to isolation cause deep down inside I have huge trust issues. I know that most people are crazy and irrational animals so I'm protecting myself from asshole. Living the true adventure of life is hard especially when you have dealt all your life with betrayal, rejection and being taken advantage of. Even if I'm trying to hide all my trauma, people know it that I'm damaged so my only friends in life are people like me who understand my suffering. After this you trust no one.

I do believe this escape to fantasy is also a fuelling source for Passive SI. Ironically, my personal obsession over the afterlife fuels my desire for knowledge. As a person of colour, I am often provided with many opportunities to observe the Worst of Humanity; giving a bleak out look on the world itself. Things I typically fantasize about is always a question. “What lurks on the other side?”, “What would I wake up to after closing my eyes for the final time?”, “Would I wake up from years of being a prisoner in my own physical body only to find myself in another prison?”, or “Will I wake up to find myself free?”. The Rose-tinted glasses I hold toward the after originated from a Philosopher's Mathematic outlook of the divine. Anything which is usually subtracted from Infinity, no matter how insignificant it is, would always equal infinity. I apologize about the Philosophical speech, but I was trying to say, I always fantasize about getting life over with since there is nothing really enjoyable about it.

@helenahandkart1857

2 ай бұрын

Wishing you increasing comfort & joy in the present moment

@aquariosoul

2 ай бұрын

You are here for a reason , to create, you are loved, loving, lovable… death’s archetype is Pluto - also means to transform, and metamorphosis- use this as an invitation to be present with yourself

Video games, alcohol , porn. Sleeping. Reality is horrible we need to rest from it

Although all of this is making me cry inside I realize it's because it's all true for me. What I've been suffering. He speaks on a level that normal people can understand.

This was totally me as a child. I grew up in a religion that made me look so different from everyone else, that by the time I was in 3rd grade, no one wanted to be my friend or really be seen around me. Everyone who I built relationships with wanted nothing to do with me and would eventually stop sitting with me on the bus or making jokes with me. I remember it being extremely distressing and eventually I found myself hiding any way I could and imagine that I was someone else- a strong, independent woman from my favorite movies in order for me to cope with my situation in life.

@Trulynay87

2 ай бұрын

JW?

Get outta my head. I have been gone for years. I have no idea where I was, and who I am. I was feeling better, and trying to be in this world, when I came across a Narcissist. … who has knocked me to my knees ….

For years I painted pictures of my fantasies and even though the paintings would improve year on year I was becoming more and more dissatisfied with them. I finally realised that no matter how good the painting gets it will never become reality. I was trying to bring these pictures to life and was no closer to making that happen 20 years later. Absurd magical thinking that I wasn't even aware I was doing.

My life is like being in prison so fantasising is essential for my mental well being. I don't think you really understand why it is (by the by) that it is an essential coping mechanism. As someone said in your chat, what exactly is the point of being in reality - what are the "perks of reality". 🤣

I love the fantasy realm inside my head. It is waaaayyyyyyyyy better than my reality. Literally, everything that could go wrong in life has happened. Reality sucks.

Escapism is my specialty. I go through life with my eyes closed.

So true. I started fantasy thoughts at a young age. Abusive home. I go back there when life gets really rough. Have been fantasy free for awhile

@ahhwe-any7434

12 күн бұрын

I had volatile thoughts as a kid & I don't want to share them. But my adult yrs def haven't been pure or anything. Anyways, now my only imaginary thing is pretending I'm in construction, lol. I'm that homely & boring. I don't really pretend bc I hardly know ish about building. But I look at spaces & imagine arrangements. Ok, pretty much I think I just dream about homely vibes. But I have random imagery of just interior. Idk somexs it helps me sleep too. But I gotta physically shake my head somexs bc I know I'm just wasting time & energy thinking about it. Maybe I should've been an interior designer. But all my personality boxes keep shoving me into care taker roles & here I am. Trying to chase after funds trying to be not completely pointless

Ive been running a fantasy situation since I was a child, I pretend im a different perosn ive made up. In my fantasy im a guy, im from a loving family, im Italian for some strange reason lol. My charecter has a good job and a whole host of relationships. However I cant picture his face or what he really looks like and ive tried to think but its not sticking. He has blue eyes like me but thats pretty much it. In my fantasy I have acted out scenarios, some quite emotional, like I imagined getting married, having children and being sucessful. In my fantasy its really complex and I actually act it out in my head and body, even pretending to sing and having relationships with imaginary charecters. In this fantasy I dont exist, and the charecter I play is the total opposite of me. I always thought I was a freak and havnt really told anyone, a therapist said I had dissociative disorder after I told her. But I can switch it on and off, although I get anxious and annoyed if I cant escape. I have to be totally alone to do it, even my cats take me out of my little game and I rarely have the time and it really hurts. I would give anything to be able to just live that way and pretend I dont exist.

@latinaustralia

2 ай бұрын

I can relate to this to a t

@getabsolutelyfucked853

Ай бұрын

Yes!!!! Esp the part where getting interupted makes you irritable!!

@anushak.8340

Ай бұрын

This is exactly me 😶

Another self-made online guru who knows better. Life and escapism is too complex for rational over-thinking, greetings from VanGogh, Shakespeare and Bach.

This video literally made me love the fantasy world more. It's good to have it all explained.

The world is a though cold place so I think that to escape it every now and again isn't a bad thing. I think that has done me a lot of good. Important though of course to take responsibility for your life and know the difference between reality and fantasy.

I do this a lot. I'd happily give up my fantasies for a life worth living, but if I can't live a life worth living, I can at least dream of one. I tend to get my stuff done and my finances are in a way where the less I do, the more I save for the future. So it's economically viable in my particular case. My hopes for the future are probably unrealistic. But they are technically possible. It's like dreaming about winning the lottery. I'll buy tickets for big jackpots, 2 dollars for a good dream is better than twenty for a bad movie.

Well, here's another "this video changed my life" comment 😊 I had no idea that I was "escaping" when I would do a lot of the things I would do. What an eye opener! Crazy how things I never thought about are the exact things I needed to find to get healthy. Thank you for this outstanding teaching.

I’ve known my fantasy life is a problem because therapist says so, and I believe her. However I’ve not UNDERSTOOD how and why it’s a problem until this explanation by Tim. Thank you so much ❤ truly helpful and life changing ❤