“Don’t do that, don’t give me hope.”

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

Hahaha

@FreakinfreakInfreaki

2 жыл бұрын

You stole my comment lol

@siwap3809

2 жыл бұрын

@@FreakinfreakInfreaki yeah, you definitely came up with this quote and didnt steal it or anything, right?

@FreakinfreakInfreaki

2 жыл бұрын

@@siwap3809 bro chill like damn

@drmarctagon

2 жыл бұрын

@@siwap3809 you're a little intense lol

As an introvert, I am very selective with who I give my time and attention to, but have been getting better and better at being attractive and picking my crowd. Not just in relationships, but friends and family too

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

Love to hear it!

@admirbarucija2018

2 жыл бұрын

@@CourtneyRyan Much appreciated! 😊

@tylerbermeo2882

2 жыл бұрын

Same bro 👍🙏

@armins6210

2 жыл бұрын

Altruistic relationships

@derrick5380

2 жыл бұрын

Yea but my networking skills sucks which I need for marketing and running a business

Being an introvert myself, I noticed that I’m more talkative and open with someone once I’ve established a relationship with them. I enjoy being who I am and nothing will ever change that.

@veroist_

2 жыл бұрын

Same here

@alilakhani5504

Жыл бұрын

Same here

@Z-Interceptor

3 ай бұрын

it gets easier to open once people pass our unconscious / internal trust detector so we can confide to them 😂

I think there can be a misinterpretation that introverts never like to leave the house and they are boring, but honestly it's just not wanting to be center of attention when you go somewhere, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm introverted, but I don't mind going out.. meanwhile I have friends that are loud and want to be seen and heard and that's just not my style.

@deathnsd6953

2 жыл бұрын

it can be different if you're an attractive introvert lol

@MikeB12800

2 жыл бұрын

Uh, hate leaving the house!

@ryans413

2 жыл бұрын

I’d rather have a friend come over and watch a hockey game or take a girlfriend somewhere silent and distant from other people. I can’t do big crowds with everyone talking at once like I can’t hear myself talk and I can’t get a word in anyways.

@thomasalfaro9260

2 жыл бұрын

Bless you Devin for saying this. Same here 100%

@SF-tb8df

Жыл бұрын

Straight up me.

I always grew up as the quiet guy and people saw that as anti social and awkward but for me, I need to take that time to analyze my surroundings and observe people's behaviors and actions before I open up to them. That's actually a wise way to go about life. Not just when it comes to dating but in all interactions in life. It will save from a lot of unnecessary heartache and disappointment. Just don't over do it because if you're overly introverted and shy, you might miss out on a blessing that would have been the perfect situation for you, but you kept that wall up for so long, you didn't give yourself the opportunity to receive that blessing that was meant for you. Great video

@GuidetteExpert

2 жыл бұрын

Thats what my negative trait is. I missed very fun interesting attractive people because I overdue it!

@rohitrnaidu

2 жыл бұрын

This is me. Thanks for sharing your story. I relate.

@breaks3085

2 жыл бұрын

Don't believe you, you look like will smith

@Rzr543

2 жыл бұрын

Well said Tony.

@jackwhite8238

2 жыл бұрын

Yea well women will not appreciate it. They see it as boring and weak. They only see things on a surface level

I’m an introvert, basically everything on here. I’m confident in myself. I’m not shy, but I only speak when spoken to. But the problem I have is initiating conversations. I’m good at conversations. Just not starting them. But if someone else started it I would feel more comfortable & good at the conversation.

@iiRebornz

2 жыл бұрын

Pretty much me

@MrKrossFaith

2 жыл бұрын

thats me too, i cant begin conversations

@andrehoward5130

2 жыл бұрын

Machine gun facts right there my guy

@alsimmons1650

2 жыл бұрын

That's me as well.

@MiniisBot

2 жыл бұрын

Seems about right for me as well

I think the tough parts of being an introverted man are 1) American society seems to be less accepting of introverted men than it is of introverted women 2) it's a long game for our desirable qualities to make themselves known compared to extroverts that can quickly charm women. It's really tough to see extroverted friends with similar tastes in women to quickly hit it off with women you both are interested in.

@sonofsarek

2 жыл бұрын

America is just a very extroverted society - to an annoying level.

@Introvertedalpha

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing your insights about the tough parts of being an introverted man; I appreciated hearing your thoughts. Wishing you all the best!

@bemlok

2 жыл бұрын

Here in Brazil this is worst because our culture is too much extrovert. So sometimes I basically have to explain to the person about introverts. At the end the person understand and then we start talking, and that's it. So if you're introvert, relax, don't get mad if someone complain about you being quiet.

@crochunter35

2 жыл бұрын

Facts

@jaydenreyes6135

2 жыл бұрын

@@bemlok In Puerto Rico too

I’ve read the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. Some of the concepts that you talked about are in the book. It is a really interesting book. Very few people are totally introverts or totally extroverts.

@vuvy5993

2 жыл бұрын

@Anthony Manzio mad extrovert 😂

@VonKrieg

2 жыл бұрын

Right on Robert I'll have to check it out. Thanks!

@masumi158

2 жыл бұрын

It's not like introverts don't like talking. They just don't like talking about meaningless stuff to unknown people. With family and friends, familiar people, it's a different situation - we can talk them to the death.

@donaldaustin6668

2 жыл бұрын

Yes I pick up a copy of that book just finished reading it i learned alot about myself being an introvert as well I recommend that book for any who think there an introvert

@sven7736

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the booktip

I’ve never been more proud to be an introvert, it’s almost like a super power. Thank you Courtney, well done!

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️

@KevinMaximus

2 жыл бұрын

INTJ’s stand up…. I mean sit down and be 🤫

@zebbserrano5240

2 жыл бұрын

amen

@davdav8152

2 жыл бұрын

Don’t listen to this bs lmao you’re only attractive as an introvert if you’re physically attractive smh

@dmlx4209

2 жыл бұрын

same

Great video. I believe it’s better to have a small group of people you can trust than to be surrounded by tons of people you can’t

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

Totally agree!

@accountnumber1234567

Жыл бұрын

That's true when it comes to friendship, but with dating, most of us have to meet a LOT of new people. The amount of time you have to make a good impression is measured in minutes and hours, not months or years.

@onatics

5 ай бұрын

Eye opener this comment!

As an introvert, I used to view that as a character flaw, like something was wrong with me. Thank you Courtney for explaining how awesome being an introvert really is!

@DCtheGod

2 жыл бұрын

Cope

@okashiname8326

2 жыл бұрын

It's a superpower, looking at how extroverts get an emotional meltdown if they don't get attention or don't get invited or don't have friends, this makes me feel invincible as if I think it's nice to know ppl but I can entertain myself just fine 😎

@FirstNameLastName-oz5ij

2 жыл бұрын

@@okashiname8326 Don’t generalize all extroverts like that. I know many who are very emotionally stable and friendly people. It’s good to be proud of being an introvert, but you don’t have to put down someone else either.

@toomuchtruth

2 жыл бұрын

COPE O P E Courtney means introvert Chad. They always do, every other man is invisible to them unless he makes himself stand out somehow. A regular guy sure as fuck doesn't stand out by being introverted. You have to train extroversion like you train a muscle. Difficult social situations that put you under tension & pain, and you'll grow.

@bemlok

2 жыл бұрын

@@okashiname8326 You don't need to see as superpower. Extrovert has advantages too. What you have to do is know yourself and don't pressure yourself too much. I'm introvert and I have extrovert friends. Sometimes the their extroversion help me and something my introversion help them.

Introverts also tend to ask more questions about the people theyre talking to..which in turn makes the other person feel interesting and involved in the conversation, rather than having to fight to be heard.

Trust me introverts aren't worried about being introverted. We do worry about the extroverts. They all have to talk so much. There's a underlying issue there. Why else do they need to talk so much crap about nothing at all.

Courtney, it’s like you are speaking to me. It’s great to hear someone validate the positive attributes of introversion.

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad to hear it. Thanks for watching!

@DCtheGod

2 жыл бұрын

COPE

@toomuchtruth

2 жыл бұрын

Lol you took the bait. Courtney's referring to introvert Chad & introvert pretty girls who don't have to utter a fucking word. Regular guys absolutely need to learn how to turn on extroversion.

@ghosttheprogram6973

2 жыл бұрын

@@toomuchtruth you clearly didn't pay attention to the video then 🤣

@Pdrum2

Жыл бұрын

@@ghosttheprogram6973 Obviously.

I always feel like Courtney is talking directly to me. She always provides confidence boosts and she isn’t some rabid man-hating feminist. She always builds up us men. Great channel with actually great advice.

@jackwhite8238

2 жыл бұрын

Do you hear your self. She has no idea what she is talking about. Women do not like introverted men. Haven't you ever heard a woman say " he must be outgoing, ambitious and high social status. These are all extroverted traits. An introverted man is a loner. The guy sitting in the corner just watching the crowd. I have been told this is creepy and weird. I've been told that it was assumed that I am thinking of doing something evil all the time. She is saying this because the crowd she targets are introverted men. If she told you the truth she wouldn't have a channel. Even the whole process of attracting a woman demands extroversion. Unless you are a 7foot tall chad, you being reserved isn't seen as dark and mysterious, it's weird and creepy. This woman is doing the same thing every other woman does. She wants what you have and she will say what ever to keep you on the hook.

@bren6344

2 жыл бұрын

@@jackwhite8238 Unfortunately I think you’re right. That’s how it is when it comes to a lot of narcissistic status-oriented women and it’s hard to come by women who aren’t like that quite frankly. But there are ones like Courtney who aren’t toxic like that even if they’re a minority. Sadly I have had mostly the same experience as you when it comes to those types of women. I told my last girlfriend upfront before we even started dating that if I had to pay for everything I wasn’t gonna date her. That same girlfriend knew I was introverted but she said she was determined to break me out of my shell because she thought deep down that I was a sweetheart but that I just didn’t like talking to people because I was used to people shutting me down all the time. And that assessment was accurate. But she was a very rare case and there are just too many unreasonable women who have unrealistic expectations and many of those types of women are just gold-diggers who don’t want to work.

@jojosaves

2 жыл бұрын

@@jackwhite8238 100%

@Cheekybanana

2 жыл бұрын

How have you guys turned this nice compliment into this sad conversation? Most men my friends are with are introverted and most of the women I know are extroverts wanting to go out all the time while their partners want to stay home. My husband is a huge introvert, so is my brother so is my dad. Being quiet and introverted doesn’t hurt most guys’ love lives. Making broad assumptions about women helping your love lives? I’ve watched known women with ugly men, short men, poor men et . You wanna know what they all do have in common? I have no fucking idea lmao but I know if you don’t see women as the enemy they won’t be.

@empyrean9712

2 жыл бұрын

@Rick Sin In fairness to Courtney’s explanation she was referring to generalized introversion at an innate personality level. It’s important for people who possess this personality type don’t relegate themselves subconsciously due to mainstream societal norms of “quick-wit” and “spontaneity” in terms of communicative expression. She went even further to say when an introverted person has self awareness and a firm “frame of reference” then this can be utilized in any social situation without falling short of interacting with the world around you. Personally, I consider myself an ambivert so I understand where both sides are coming from.

I’ve always thought being a introvert was terrible, I stopped going out for such a long time because all my friends are extroverts so I just thought they hated that I stay to myself and never really say anything , like I was ruining their nights. I’m so glad that people find introverts attractive it’s a bit of a confident booster.

@gerardoa9179

2 жыл бұрын

Introverted has more disadvantages than advantages

@gerardoa9179

2 жыл бұрын

@Muttley 69 true, even Introverted women have it easier whereas introverted men would need to get out to find the girl

@cassettetape7643

2 жыл бұрын

We live in a society that praises extroversion & condemns introversion. But there's room for both

@zeaferjones1404

2 жыл бұрын

I'm a party animal introvert but it's like what Courtney says. After I party, I need to rest and watch a movie while a lot of my friends are hunting for woman at 4 am.

@TheoOJamaloO1

2 жыл бұрын

They only find introverrs attractive that are good looking.

From the introvert committee our presence is like a fox you won’t see us a lot when you do prepare for a good time😉

@Martin_Priesthood

Күн бұрын

Committee chairman 😂🤣

Massive introvert here, from my childhood, and you nailed EVERY point. We just want to be left alone. My friends, even the long standing ones, always wonder why I avoid their phone calls (most of the time deliberately by seeing their numbers), don't socialize as much as they want me to be and think I'm arrogant/cocky/everything under the sun and hate me for it, while it's the complete opposite. I want ALL of them to succeed in life and enjoy hearing everyone of them making their dreams come true. Sometimes I don't even attend my relatives' calls. The ones who understand me (apart from my parents) are the ones I'm very VERY close to and it's an extremely small close knit circle. Thanks for this video, Courtney.

@adamstark1850

2 жыл бұрын

They don't sound like good friends. I'd try find more like minded friends.

@Pdrum2

Жыл бұрын

@Jesterio Vizatti What people.

As an introvert, I find this way too optimistic :) from my experience, to find someone who value those qualities is very, very hard.

@zeaferjones1404

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I just came from the friendzone video. I'm curious how introverts avoid the friendzone because I think qualities like being a good listener is a good way to get friendzoned.

@HereComesTheSmartAlec

2 жыл бұрын

@@zeaferjones1404 friendzone them first. Thank me later.

@Manuel1976

2 жыл бұрын

@Jesterio Vizatti if you didn't watch Courtney video, why do you comment here?

I was an introvert all through school…quiet, shy, kept to myself…I had a hearing loss due to scarlet fever as a baby…as a result I had difficulty participating…got a hearing aid and started wearing it when I was 63… I feel like a different person, a little more social and extroverted….

I really do feel like I’m at my most comfortable by myself. I think it was super hard for extroverts during the Covid lockdown. But for me, I was pretty happy because I already know how to have fun on my own lol.

As an introvert i've always perceived my situation as being locked in a prison. Being quiet and socially awkward have hardly ever worked in my favour. Due to this i stopped going out as it was a mental drain sitting by myself at a bar all night, not talking to people unless spoken to. The qualities you mention i definitely posses but i'm clueless as how to use them properly

If you are from a dysfunctional background, an introvert that possesses a great memory and proper listening skills, you can be a great conversationalist. Especially, if you can avoid having a toxic personality or petty feelings.

Courtney nailed it. My personal experience with being an introvert and also in the dating world is unfortunately I feel we're at a big disadvantage on dating apps since our strengths are harder to show through a screen. Our in person, real world interactions are our best bet with meeting someone and forming a connection. If only I enjoyed leaving my home more...

@cogordoo

2 жыл бұрын

They not always enjoy a first date with an introvert, it might seem boring if there's no instant connection or "spark" . I think extroverts truly take the advantage here as they're usually more entertaining to be around in a first meeting

@Anonymous_McNugget

2 жыл бұрын

@@cogordoo Extroverted doesn’t mean less boring, just means they like to go out more. You could be more outgoing than an extrovert as an introvert but just prefer being by yourself most of the time

Finally someone gets us, thank you😂🙂 there's alot of misconception about introverts so I'm glad you made this video

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

🙌🏼 I totally get it!

@carlosverde-datingtips7001

2 жыл бұрын

I hear ya - MaceReactions! Great tips - by Courtney! And speaking of Introverts… Sigma Males are Introverts! It seems like a Sigma Male is the guy to be - you get the best of both worlds. You’re not a beta male, and you’re not necessarily an alpha male either. You’re sort of in the middle. You’re kind of an introvert, because you don’t want to be distracted by other people’s thoughts and views all the time. You know what you want out of life, and you’re focused - and you wake up each morning ready, and you put your whole mind to it! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

@ryans413

2 жыл бұрын

I worked at place where for most the day I was left alone to work and I absolutely loved it just me and my work no one to bother me no small talk to make no distractions. The boss said my work was so good he kept me on that position until I had to switch out for the last 2 hours of the shift and I always hated that part cause now I had to go work with people annoying people

I’ve always been an introvert, and as long as I can remember, there’s always been a negative stigma on introverts. Thanks for making this video and disproving the negative stereotypes 👍

Thanks Courtney. I'm an introvert who's tried to be more extroverted for most of my life. These positive aspects you're talking about really help me to see, and be more accepting, of my strengths.

One thing I've had to remember when it comes to listening is to know when to draw the line and realize when I'm being someone's dumping ground for their negativity

Thanks for this video. People often fail to realize that being an introvert does NOT mean one is shy or awkward as unfortunately many people assume. (although I was shy as well in my young years)

@andrehoward5130

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed....my belief is that as you get older you get a better understanding of yourself and the world around you

@Pdrum2

Жыл бұрын

Exactly, I have to correct people on this.

@ay-tj7pj

3 ай бұрын

yeah you can be quiet and still be confident

I am very much an introvert and sometimes I had an uncomfortable relationship with acknowledging that. A book I read that I found very informative and entertaining was Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I recommend it all the time. It helped me understand that we all have different strengths and weaknesses, even us introverts. So many of these points are me. Even with family, it can take me awhile to warm up with siblings I haven't seen in awhile. I've also had conversations where people are surprised I remember a detail from a conversation from months ago and follow up on it. This was an entertaining video! Thanks

I've noticed that people get uncomfortable when I'm sitting there quietly when the convo has faded (think of the so dreaded awkward silence). I for one love feeling the presence of people without having to continually keep talking to them, so the awkward silence that is so dreaded is actually something I enjoy with people. As an introvert I've noticed that we're more comfortable with silence.

Thanks Courtney. I'm a 55 year old functioning introvert and you hit the nail on the head in your points here. I say "functioning" because I spend a lot of time holding classes, training, and speaking in front of groups in my work. I can turn it on when I need to but when the last person walks out of the room, no one is happier it's done than me. The problem with being observant and reading the room, and this will sound rude, is that I usually realize 98% of the people there are not anyone I'd want to spend time with. I can count the true friends that I've had in life, that I genuinely was close to on one hand. I think the biggest difficulty for people like me is weeding out the one person in fifty that actually wants to take the time to know someone and sit and listen to them. I can't tell you how many people say "So tell me about yourself" then immediately interrupt me and talk about themselves for an hour. I just don't run across enough people socially to make the endeavor worthwhile. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack and the haystack is in the next county.

7. They never leave the house so they can't cheat on you

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

HAHA YES

@drip369

2 жыл бұрын

😅

@fij715

Жыл бұрын

In Soviet Russia house leaves you.

Thank you Courtney. I use to think I’m an extravert, but I long for deeper conversations. I HATE small talk, it seems so boring to me. In dating, it feels like I’m not allowed to have deep conversations with a girl until several dates in.

It's ok to be an introvert, just be confident in what you do. When you speak, people will definitely listen when they know you don't speak often and that when you do, it means something.

1 Observant 2 Great Listeners 3 Composure On Point 4 Value Privacy/Being Alone 5 Great Conversation 6 Selective And Loyal

I am an introvert. Since adolescence I noticed that people feel that they can really talk and say what they have on their chest with me. I'm very observant and tend to pay attention to the details and later talking about it with them. This can be a curse because I can call BS very quick. It's my "super power", I'm very insightful, but I'm also very blunt. My circle of friends is very, very, small. I don't let just anyone to know me, I can speak to anyone, but there's a wall that only a select few are allowed to overcome. And I do enjoy spending a lot of time by myself. Even when I'm with my family, after a few hours, I really do need some time for myself, to be alone. Making something that I like, being reading, writing, listening to music or working out. If I don't have those hours to be alone, I'll become very crancky. My wife learned this very early and very fast.

Hi, coming here from a relationship where being introverted was considered abnormal, even after being liked by everybody I met during that time. Thank you for reminding me about my superpower of being myself! I will keep that in mind while dating.

Always been an introvert and outsider. I grew up thinking there was something wrong with me but as I've got older I now embrace those traits!

I love the benefits that come with being an introvert. We are often mislabeled and understood, but as an introvert, don't really care. I love living alone and living a quiet, peaceful life, not caring what most peoples opinions are. No social media, no drama, no conflict. It's a pretty cool life.

Really appreciate this Courtney. Glad you are able to see the better side of introverts.👍🏾

These are very good points. Some introverts are better at connecting with people. Extroverts to me are just good speakers and like to be the attention of the room. I know some extroverts can talk to a crowd but can't have a one on one conversation with person. I'm more an introvert and don't really talk to people until I really get to know them.

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

I’m the same way!

Being an introvert also has its downsides. I might be a good listener, but that comes with the baggage of not getting to open up to others as much, keeping thoughts and feelings bottled up for long periods of time. I value privacy and being alone so much that I have no friends. I'm loyal if I find someone I truly feel is worth that loyalty and trust, but I've also been single my whole life and reaching the point where finding a partner is becoming impossible. Loneliness is mentally crippling. So despite being an introvert I tend to feel miserable very often, because I keep seeing all this material about how "great" introverts are and yet feel like I have failed to be great.

@ryans413

2 жыл бұрын

Me too I have my family but other then that I don’t have any friends since high school. I don’t do anything exciting and when people ask what you been up too I say nothing cause well I don’t do anything. It’s hard to find someone that wants to be with you I get close but no takers it can sometimes be depressing

@TheoOJamaloO1

2 жыл бұрын

@@ryans413 You guys need the red pill lol

@ana-maria448

10 ай бұрын

​@@ryans413same here, as a woman. Like my inner peace and comfort.

Very true, many people make the mistake of thinking that introverts are shy and antisocial,when in reality we're social and talkative with people we truly like

I used to be a big introvert but after years of therapy & healing i'm extroverted now. Although i prefer to be alone most of the time, if i'm in any kind of social setting i'm very open and talk to anyone about anything for however long i do. I think with therapy & healing i grew to become alot more confident in who i am as a person and have something worth sharing to the world in me just being who i am now.

@t.c252

2 жыл бұрын

Nice one mate, what was your best treatment that helped the most in therapy?

@pinheadlarry3992

2 жыл бұрын

@@t.c252 EMDR Therapy

@t.c252

2 жыл бұрын

@@pinheadlarry3992 Oh that's great, I tried it once and didn't notice any change unfortunately.

@andjelkovicjasmin2954

Жыл бұрын

🤦‍♂️

To me introverts are more humble and I feel I can trust them more. Extroverts to me come off as sales person, telling you just what you want to hear to like them.

Good point about observation. A good term for an introvert leaving a party/event is "drained."

You explained these attractive introvert traits so well! Being observant and a good listener are the traits that really stood out to me.

@Pdrum2

Жыл бұрын

She does a good job of correcting misconceptions and yet you still see people on the comment page still saying nonsense.

No lies detected Courtney. Everything you said was exactly spot on. Another great video like always.

People used to make me feel like a terrible person for being a introvert, saying "you need to be more talkative" or "why are you so quiet"! Then when I would try to speak up, I would get completely ignored! And that makes me want to talk less!😤😔

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

Right!!!

This really gave me strength and confidence that being an introvert isn't bad in general but just different with its on advantages. Thank you. ❤

Great points, you’re spot on with everything. I’m quiet and keep my inner circle small. The last point is my personality, I keep to myself. It’s helped me to write all of the books I have and I’ve embraced it since I was a kid. Awesome video!

In high school, I was an introvert. After I graduated and discovered alcohol, I became more extroverted. Once I quit drinking, I reverted to being an introvert. Funny how life comes full circle...

@nickc9224

2 жыл бұрын

Well some people are assholes and if you add alcohol they become instant assholes! So your doin ok!

@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT

2 жыл бұрын

Same. Alcohol lower my inhibitions. Go figure.

@Robert_Westwood

2 жыл бұрын

@@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT, thing was, though, the inhibitions weren't lowered only when I drank, but in all aspects of my life. The increased extroversion occurred even when I was sober...

Ngl as an introvert I feel like when I first meet someone I'm expected to do something cool in order to get respected and not looked at as weird or say something cool it's just an internal struggle that goes through my head. And when I'm hanging with extroverted friends I self consciously look at myself through their eyes I'm like they probably think I'm weird even if they don't really think that > _

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

I used to feel the same way. I think once you realize your strengths instead of wishing you were something you’re not, you gain so much power!

@Aubatron

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe I'm wrong, but that sounds like a self confidence thing to me. Putting higher value on others and wanting to earn their respect and wanting them to like you. If others see you as higher value, you wont even need to try. Other will like you and want you to like them, so they'll make conversations easy, and very enjoyable.

@SavageRodent

2 жыл бұрын

Being an introvert myself, you're better off not setting any sort of expectations. When expectations are not set, you'll more than likely surprise others when they find out more about you. When someone discovers something on their own, it has more of an impact on them. However something to keep in mind is just because you didn't set an expectation yourself doesn't mean other people won't create some sort of expectation, but it's usually a reasonable expectation. Overall it's better to be as normal as possible and just let others become curious about you, and even though they may create an expectation of you themselves, they'll only have themselves to blame if you don't meet the expectation they created.

You make some very good points. I'm naturally introverted and it's easy to forget how positive these qualities you outlined are. For a long time I took my need for connection and deep conversation as something wrong with me, now I tend to value it and I try and focus on the people who seem to appreciate this about me.

This is a very thoughtful video, one of your best. Yes, I completely agree. I have always had great relationships as an introvert. People really value the time an introvert gives you. It takes time to build a friendship with them, but once you do, it is long lasting and very rewarding. Nice job analyzing this trait, I can tell you are one of us!

People are jealous of introverts they don’t understand how they can be happy by themselves without constant chatter and banter

@zeaferjones1404

2 жыл бұрын

Here is the thing I'm actually a better party animal and more fun to be around than most extroverts because I've watched so many Jim Carey and American Pie movies. However, I'd rather watch American Pie and drink a beer than go to a party in most cases so I'm sure I'm an introvert. That is what the extroverts can't understand. I'll go to a party and be the life of that party for an hour but I'm making it back to my house in time for my favorite Adult Swim shows.

@RKO1988

2 жыл бұрын

@@zeaferjones1404 I never knew watching Jim Carey and American Pie movies was a prerequisite for being a good party animal 😅

@zeaferjones1404

2 жыл бұрын

@@RKO1988 It helps me.

I grew up thinking being an introvert was a flaw. There must have been something wrong with me. Thank you so much for this video Courtney! Your video made me feel like you were talking directly to me!

@izzylandyt

Жыл бұрын

It’s only a flaw if you’re ugly

I like your channel because of videos like this. I am more of an introvert than an extrovert but at times, just like everybody, I feel I naturally am an introvert, specially when I'm around hyper extroverts, the type that makes everyone intimidated by how "proactive" they are. When that happens I sometimes question myself if I'm doing okay in not trying to show off or impress. While I like to talk and being an extrovert, I am convinced that it's better to listen and talk. I can relate to this video. Thank you!

Interesting and relevant points raised here. One of the salient topics raised is the private / reserved nature of introverts - many are often driven by the principle of information being on a “need-to-know” basis, which is a vital safeguard mechanism in a day and age where there is a proclivity for oversharing, especially via social media. On a different note, Courtney’s cadence and delivery show a mature and balanced take on these things, which is very refreshing indeed!

The biggest misconception is that introverts and shy are the same.

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

🙌🏼🙌🏼

@zeaferjones1404

2 жыл бұрын

I'm an introvert that is usually the guy leading the party. However, like Courtney says hanging out with my friends can be tiring. In fact, I've told my friends that I'm tired and they are like, "why all we did was go to the club for a few hours."

@janpauledwarddedios5366

2 жыл бұрын

@@zeaferjones1404 I get yelled at by my twin brother because I chose to speak to one person who was sober instead of the other people who were wasted.. he is an extrovert and also a narcissist

@zeaferjones1404

2 жыл бұрын

@@janpauledwarddedios5366 Although I try to be more outgoing and confident. I try to not be a narcissist.

@janpauledwarddedios5366

2 жыл бұрын

@@zeaferjones1404 yeah I go out with my buddies but definitely a highly selective group.

It's so freeing for me to know I don't have to draw on others for energy. Something that I've done awhile back was deleting all of the people off of social media that I don't talk to anymore. I went from 367 down to a little under 200 on my Facebook friends list. It felt overwhelming having that extra "weight"

Glad I stumbled on the KZread channel. Happy to see some good content and the appreciation for “us” introverts. Not having social media makes me sometimes feel like I don’t fit in, but I’m glad some people still respect privacy.

Powerful and intelligent dissection of this topic Courtney. Before I had any understanding of this, I spent the first half of my life trying to figure out what was “wrong” with me. Personal awareness skills are the foundational key to achieving any level of growth in life. With age comes wisdom. Your straightforward delivery in your commentary provides calm and easily understandable factors to reframe these aspects as strengths instead of weaknesses. Grateful thnx for providing such a refreshing, no BS channel of learning.

Suggestion for all: Read the book “Quiet.” Best nonfiction book Ive read in last 15 years and there have been MANY. Great book on how introverts can thrive in a extroverted world. Also, as for dating, it’s always initiating the convos that are the hardest. Other than that moment, I’m very comfortable in convo with anyone. My curiosity takes over (so there’s the active listening, Courtney! You’re so right tho. Everyone tells me how easy I am to talk to, etc. you nailed the characteristics.)

@norvillerogersgreeneryknight

2 жыл бұрын

Initiating is so hard!!!

Introverts unite…SEPARATELY… in your own homes! 🙌🏽 I think introverts are very articulate and know how to communicate with different personalities or people who approach them with confidence. As always, Courtney, great video! 🦋

@drip369

2 жыл бұрын

Separately 🤣🤣 💯

@zeaferjones1404

2 жыл бұрын

I'm an introvert that likes to party but only for a hr then I'm done with it. I also think as an introvert I'm very logical in that if I don't make a connection with a woman at a party within an hour then I know that I'm not going to. While my other buddies will try all night.

It was probably a month ago when I finally found out that I am rather an introvert (somewhere between the center and the edgy type of introvert) and like @TinyLifeTAKEOVER said, I am really proud of it. Everything mentioned in your video applies and it's really awesome to know who you really are. And that thing about small talk is so true, I've been struggling with it to this day but thanks to stepping out of comfort zone and meeting a few new people, it gets a bit easier. Thanks Courtney.

Courtney, I hope you read this message one day. I've been an introvert as long as I can recall, and many times I have hated myself for being this way. However, your content, and this video in particular, has renewed my self-love. So I just want to say, thank you very much. God bless you

I consider myself someone who is outgoing but at the same time, I do value my alone time so I say that I am a bit of both extroverted and introverted. Although I'm usually someone who is calm, laid back, and easygoing there's some traits of me that are more on the introvert side and some traits of me that are on the extrovert side

@zeaferjones1404

2 жыл бұрын

That is the thing about me. I'm an introvert and I'll be leading the dancing and the shots at the party but I'm also the first one home watching Code Geass drinking a few beers I stole from the party. That actually literally happened I was at a party and was enjoying myself, but I wanted to get back in time for Code Geass that came on at 1 am.

Attractive to whom, a small minority of women who understand that in today's framework, being an introvert isn't much of a practical issue? Then again, what's the point, even if you find one that does find you attractive (kind of nearly impossible for an introvert anyway) and is not repulsed by your introvertedness, these women might have different red flags or the same as the others so i ask again rhetorically, what's the point for an introvert to try. Fake hopes mostly only lead to disappointment and depression.

@Dj.D25

2 жыл бұрын

Introverted men don’t seem as desirable in the USA to most women. Too much assumptions that you’re boring.

@martifrey3357

2 жыл бұрын

Women always give advice after the fact. Being an introvert is only attractive if you are physically attractive. Same for bad boys, they are only desired when they are attractive to begin with

@georgeindestructible

2 жыл бұрын

@@Dj.D25 Exactly even though that's not the entire story, it's a biological trait, increased chances of survival because you know a lot of people, especially if you are decent to them or have status and women love to have unlimited options especially when it comes to survival, of course these days as i said before, this isn't as much as an issue but what can you do for biologically driven traits, people are still nearly the same if not entirely the same in these aspects when it comes to instincts.

@jasonmccormack8993

2 ай бұрын

We’re introverts, not mutants?!

As an Introvert I really appreciate this so much Courtney. Thank you 🙏🏾

Being an introvert has actually brought me closer with family cause they realize I actually listen to them.

I am an extrovert... but shout out to all the introverts! You have a place in society too.

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

❤️ there’s room for everyone to win!

@Kickback-dm7zt

2 жыл бұрын

Our place is to just sit in the corner and stay quiet, never speak unless spoken to and never start a conversation or engage with anyone.

@jayguti9658

2 жыл бұрын

@@Kickback-dm7zt Introverts can definitely start a conversation. Build some muscle, dress well, smell good and start a conversation every now and then. God Bless.

@Kickback-dm7zt

2 жыл бұрын

@@jayguti9658 I already do all you say and it's pointless.

This video nailed it Courtney. That's just like me. I like to say I'm secretly confident. Already one of your best vids 👌

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! Glad you resonated with it ❤️

@drip369

2 жыл бұрын

Good chance it could end up being her top5 top10 most viewed videos. Give it a couple weeks

Thank you so much for making this video. You’ve been extremely helpful and really made me feel good about who I am .

I'm what I'd like to call an extroverted introvert. It's a weird and often complicated mix because I love being around people and I value the time I have to myself, yet I struggle with social anxiety. It really makes being out and about a little difficult. Add to that that I have Asperger's which is a form of autism, and while I am extremely high functioning, it oftentimes makes things a real Russian roulette rollercoaster. I'm very grateful for your content Courtney. Been subbed for a few days now and this is my first comment. Keep up the great work!

People like being complimented, so every comment on a video like this is positive. However, who said that introverts are better listeners or observers just because we don't talk a lot? Maybe we don't give a damn either?! And who said that we always use our alonetime to self-improve? Introversion isn't a superpower, it's a preference.

As an introvert (with a severe case of RBF) I often get ostracized initially by new people. That being said, when people finally give me a chance, a lot of the time they'll come to me when they need an ear to bend for conversation that has depth and meaning and not surface level small talk. I'm starting my first bartending job this coming month. Even if I need time to myself, I'm looking forward to trying out a position that requires constant interaction with others.

@Starkilly2k

2 жыл бұрын

I recently started bartending (I’m introverted) and you have to be “on” all the time. The difference from serving and bartending is that as a server you can fake it for a short 30 sec interaction at a table but at the bar you have to be “on” all the time.It’s the service industry after all and it’s all about giving people an experience. You get really good at bullshitting with people. I have a lot of fun conversations with regulars and other patrons. You’ll hear some weird things for sure. Have fun with it and don’t forget to smile.

@achille5

2 жыл бұрын

@@Starkilly2k I'll take your advice to heart, thank you. I've been in the lime light quite a bit and having to be "on", being a vocalist for a metal band playing at some decent sized venues and other musical performances. It's something I've always wanted to do, met a really cool bartender at a young age who made an impression on me. I have trouble smiling though, I know it's something I need to work on lol 😅

@nickcox1408

2 жыл бұрын

RBF?

I really appreciate your accurate depiction of introverts we are often thought of as a negative personality types and that’s so far from the truth a well rounded introvert makes a great friend and spouse.

The key is let the woman talk. Give her your full attention and sympathetic listening, and just sit back and quietly like her on the inside. Women like the attention and like being liked. She'll feel the good vibes and feel good inside and will get hooked.

We did it boys!!! We in season🤣🤣🤣

@drip369

2 жыл бұрын

🤣

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

It’s introvert szn 😎

This was very helpful Courtney. We appreciate you sharing these qualities as it helps uplift the stigma among introverts. Although we have different energies, we shine in different and meaningful ways. Interestingly, there are famous tech leaders and celebrities with introvert personalities.

Great vid Courtney! As an introvert, I am very observant and I select very carefully to whom I will invest my time, energy, resources, etc.

I used to think I was incredibly shy and had a hard time as a result. It was only seeing videos like this that realised how introverted I am . Until a year a go I had a manager who is a fellow intravert she is very understanding. She said I had come on long way in the time she's known me . Being an intavert hasn't stopped me from doing things like giving a presentation to a prvious Chief Executive, teaching colleagues, participating in meetings and team building events both online and in person. At work our small provincial office is closing later this year and we are merging with a large team I am concerned I might struggle to addapt to working at a large centre. I find my current manager is the total opposite to myself and I don't partucarly enjoy working with him as a result. I can relate to the skills you mention in today's video as I would say I have these skills.

For me, beeing an introvert always felt like a disadvantage. I usually lost to extroverts when it came to attracting women. I was titled as arrogant, nerdy and strange. Acting as an extrovert was much easier. Beautiful women, extrovert or introvert, will attract men to make a try. Its harder to have interactions with women if you are a male introvert, because women rarely make the first step. And if you are not lucky beeing part of a compatible group of people you feel safe with, its even harder to meet new people. The ideal picture of an introvert indeed might be very attractive.

Awesome post Courtney. As an introvert, I have never had any interest or desire in having any social media. Doing so would be a disingenuous activity for me. How would you suggest clearing the stigma associated with having no social? The perception seems to be that not having social somehow means that you don't have friends...which is so far from the truth, but a common narrative. Thanks for the thought provoking post.

@Chaindriver

2 жыл бұрын

...or worse, you have something to hide.

@eriknealson4336

2 жыл бұрын

@@Chaindriver That is exactly why I used the term stigma. "Put yourself out there or you must (or might) have something to hide." Or...perhaps for some social media, such as Facebook and Twitter and Instagram are seen as a waste of valuable time. I understand social media being used for profit (foodtruck, advertising, content creation, etc.) but find it impossible to justify allocation of time for shallow meaningless posts. I doubt that I am the only one that feels this way.

@Chaindriver

2 жыл бұрын

@@eriknealson4336 You're not. Social Media is a complete waste of meaningful time unless it's used in a Professional sense like Ms. Courtney's channel over here.

I'm an introvert, you described me 100% accurately.

It's a great thing that I am an introvert. You're the best Courtney!

We love you Courtney!

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

I love you guys!! thanks for being here!!

So before the introvert is unattractive because we are “to quiet” and now it’s attractive. Women really don’t know what they want.

Courtney I feel that what you are saying here is 100% accurate. As I watched this it made me feel as if you were describing me because I hate boring surface level conversations so much and I also prefer to listen and to observe my surroundings. People I serve at work also tell me that I'm the most patient person they've met after they see how I stay non-reactive towards the uptight customers that get on my co-workers last nerves

This is great advice for me. I've always thought being an introvert is not an attractive quality. Still an introvert, but I have a lot more confidence now that I"m older. Thank you

The title is a prime example of why you never take dating advice from women.

🤔 Ok. Enlighten me on a new concept (to me)

@drip369

2 жыл бұрын

I am both so....continue

@CourtneyRyan

2 жыл бұрын

Hahaha enjoy 😂

@drip369

2 жыл бұрын

@@CourtneyRyan okay okay: 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 right on. Well done 👏👏👏

I could listen to you talk for hours (well at this point I already have lol) Your voice is so soothing. Another great video Courtney, happy to see your You-tube career take off 🚀

That is very, very interesting Courtney. I guess it's like extroverts want a public life and introverts want a private life. I think there's a lot of maturity in being an introvert. Of course I am a little biased, being an introvert myself. I think introverts are more secure people. Extroverts need more exposure. I think being selective is very, very important for safety. There are a lot of really bad people out there that I would rather not be exposed to. If we are introverted it's easier to make sure we don't get exposed to someone who could potentially harm us. And this is not out of fear, it's just being more selective.

Being an introvert is a weakness, stop glorifying a weakness. People actually think I'm anti-social and lack communication skills. Being an introvert means you have a fear and anxiety talking to people you don't know, and it's a huge setback for yourself that you can't open yourself up to more opportunities in every aspect of your life.

@watamutha

2 жыл бұрын

That's fear and anxiety, that's not being an introvert.

@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986

2 жыл бұрын

@@watamutha exactly that’s a completely different thing social anxiety from introversion the former may be an actual problem to seek support/therapy for just being a little on the quiet and personal side is nothing to be ashamed of

@Waterbug1591

2 жыл бұрын

@@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986 Keep feeling good about a weakness and never self-improve, that sounds great.

@Waterbug1591

2 жыл бұрын

@@watamutha An introvert has a lower tolerance for fear and anxiety in social situations, that's the characteristics of an introvert.

@watamutha

2 жыл бұрын

@@Waterbug1591 I score highly on introversion and have no problems with anxiety. I just dont like being around people.

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I appreciate this video Courtney. This does help me to find ways to utilize my introversion, because honestly I have been running from it.

I'm an introvert and agree with most of what you're saying, but the person I fell for had a hard time with me not talking as much. She's an introvert too and felt she needed to fill the gaps that I left, while I enjoyed listening to her and didn't really mind the quietness whenever it was there. She told me later on that she found it difficult that I didn't talk much, which was kind of disappointing, cause if I had known that I would've tried to speak more. But I guess she had a hard time telling me that at the time. Also, while I normally think before I speak, I was very emotional when her and I were still in contact (unfortunately it's been a while) and afterwards as well. My feelings for her were so intense that I found it hard to think clearly, which led to a lot of mistakes on my part (privacy also went a bit out of the window; I asked people for advise because of my lack of experience) and ultimately a break in contact.