What’s hard to overcome is when you tell people this, they say count your blessings that your parents are alive and healthy, you’re healthy. But that’s the whole problem. She’s not healthy and I’m not healthy because of it. People just. Don’t. Fking. Get it!!!!!

@chandaniberry9369

3 ай бұрын

U don't need the validation of people.

@reelfly

3 ай бұрын

​@chandaniberry9369 A child needs validation from their parent so that they don't need validation from "people."

@chandaniberry9369

3 ай бұрын

@@reelfly I agree. Please read the comment on which I commented. I said he doesn't need the validation from people that his parents are sbusive and he needs to stay away.

@jeans398

3 ай бұрын

The time when I spoke to a close friend from highschool she mentioned something that "oh everyone could see your parents weren't normal", and that's when it clicked for me that I'm not crazy, that other people saw it too, obviously no one did anything to help, and my grandparents would say things like "you know how your mom is" etc, but I didn't know if anyone really truly understood. That was the moment I really realised something was wrong that I needed to investigate further. I was about 27 at the time. I'm now 35 and have just realised/accepted this is my reality, now I'm mourning "what could have been".

@charging7

3 ай бұрын

We get it. We definitely get it.

Keep distant from them don't tell them nothing

This thread is proof that people love making and having children but not raising and loving said children properly. Kids shouldn’t be healing from things their parents did, they didn’t ask the parent to bring them into existence

I’m 41 and today is my first day realizing I have a narcissistic parent. Holy moly is it ever mind blowing! It’s like I’m a puzzle and you are putting the pieces together bit by bit. This is AMAZING because the more aware I become the less my symptoms. Thank you for these videos. 🙏 👍

@pisztufilm

Жыл бұрын

I'm 39 and finally finding courage to decide to become a parent myself (a bit late I know) while discovering narcissistic patterns in my mother and in my family system... and reparenting myself and trying to figure out how to protect the future child from this mess... it's very hard and complicated but what I'm learning about myself and others is invaluable!

@angelawhite2022

Жыл бұрын

@@pisztufilm good luck to you! I’m sure you’ll be great 👍 I found it hard to battle something I was unaware of, but knowledge is definitely power!

@jeffgriffiths5945

Жыл бұрын

ya, same..except i'm older - my first inkling was when he called me a narcissist..lol

@makaylahuffman3047

Жыл бұрын

I am so happy for you and so sorry at the same time. I'm 24 and only realizing now as well. Simultaneously the most freeing and painful realization. Sending you healing 💛

@angelawhite2022

Жыл бұрын

@@makaylahuffman3047 thank you so much! Sending positive healing vibes to you as well! I wish I had learned these things at 24 myself!

Self doubt persistence ,people pleasing,guilt shame fear of succeeding and being noticed, ,anxiety anxious, dismissive avoidant of emotional connections, tolerance for abuse reactionship. This is the best video I’ve seen on narcissistic parents.

@DrDanielFox

4 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you found the video helpful in understanding the impact of narcissistic parents on these different aspects of our lives.

My Father died in 2004. I'm a 68 year old who is haunted by his past. Particularly my Father's ways, his manipulation. I was in my forties, and he was still reminding me just how lucky I was . Apparently had everything when I was a child and I should be grateful. He was totally deluded. He deid crying asking for forgiveness { or so I was told } I didn't attend his funeral.

@DrDanielFox

Ай бұрын

I'm sorry to hear about your father's passing and the difficult relationship you had with him. It's understandable to be haunted by the past, but remember to focus on your own healing and growth.

Exactly!! Growing up under a physically emotional physochotic abusive mother has really stunted me.

@ladennayoung2939

Жыл бұрын

Choose to believe that you are absolutely NOT broken or damaged beyond repair. It's absolutely NOT over for you. It's just the beginning. See it as a new beginning in Jesus' name. AMEN. I pray your strength in the LORD IN' JESUS NAME. AMEN. And separate yourself from anyone that attempt to steal your peace or joy.

@ladennayoung2939

Жыл бұрын

I PRAY THAT YOU CHOOSE TO KNOW, TRUST, BELIEVE, AND UNDERSTAND THAT GOD DOES TRULY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU AND SO DO I. YOU ARE LOVED, HAVE VALUE, HAVE WORTH, BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED IN THE MIGHTY AND MATCHLESS NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES. AMEN. ❤❤❤

@WhitePelicansareReal

Жыл бұрын

This video especially brings awareness to The Story of my Life! I don’t believe my mother did this intentionally,; I was still destroyed in growing up that way. I am trying to rebuild my life, it’s just taking longer than planned. Thank you Dr. Fox for this very thought provoking video,

@pmf026

Жыл бұрын

yeah, the shittiest part for me was not that she was abusive, she wasn't really (she's a covert type), but that I thought it was all 'normal' ...so much time wasted for nothing.

@healinghandsreiki1111

Жыл бұрын

Same

My Dad used to purposefully try to "get me going" when I was a child. He thought it was entertaining to "work me up," which meant teasing and humiliating me until I was red-faced angry, and then he'd turn around and say I "let people get to me too easily" and that I was "so easy to tease." My sister is 15 years older than me and confirmed that he did indeed enjoy fighting with me... when I was a child, not even a teenager (things got way worse then). Who does that? Who enjoys provoking and tormenting a child and purposefully disregulating them?

@dubaiedge

Жыл бұрын

Same here. You asked who does that. Sadists. Sadists do that. They do it because they know it upsets us. They enjoy causing harm to others. They find it amusing. If they didn't, they wouldn't bother.

@babyshooz

6 ай бұрын

I had uncles who did this to me and it dawned on me now, as an adult, that this is a core reason of why I don’t respect them and enjoy being in their presence. The humiliation and degradation they inflict upon us a children is traumatic- they would tease and “tease” until I cried then they would laugh. Sick. I could NEVER just watch a kid cry, let alone ensure he does. GAG

@dark7angel456

5 ай бұрын

Persistent annoyance by their crap jokes and insults

@kateashby3066

5 ай бұрын

My dad would revel in moments when we did something bad and needed punishment. He’d laugh while spanking us HARD. He was malevolent when we stole some candy from a store- he got a call from the manager while at work and came home perfectly cool (that was always the most terrifying because it meant he was up to something). Next thing I know dinner is ready and he is forcing us all to eat a heaping plate full of candy until we barfed, then when my sister returned from the bathroom he said “now keep eating!”. He really enjoyed inflicting this pain on us. The worst for me was when he heard me say the word “wh0re”, except I didn’t say that- I said “horror” because I was SEVEN and didn’t even know what a wh0re was. He back handed me across the room and I hit my head on the corner of the table as I came landing down on it. He didn’t mean for that to happen and apparently felt great shame- so to make HIM feel better, he forced me to cuddle with him for like an hour as I laid there seething and confused. It’s probably not surprising that I grew up to have borderline personality disorder.

@KarleeCampbell

4 ай бұрын

My mother!

There is definite a template learned from an abusive upbringing which you think is normal. You don't even realize that you are being abused until you read or are told that what you are experiencing is abuse.

two words. - NO CONTACT

I'd never actually realized until now how I always undermine or preempt my own potential success. Point 3 really hit hard, and opened my eyes. I'd never thought critically about it, or put it into words, so I never brought it up to therapists, and no therapist has ever mentioned it to me either. At least I can finally bring it up in therapy.

Thank you for helping blinded and abused people who never knew they were good enough and nothing was wrong with them. You are changing the world, because we don’t need more narcissists out there.

My husband was the scapegoat to a malignant narcissist and enabler mother, he's working hard to work this out...doing therapy and Jay Reid course on narc families, he's working on the trauma bond issue...im proud of him for wanting to change, with videos like this one, its such a help. Thank you Dr. Fox...keep these videos coming! We watch all the ones you so graciously do. Thank you and bless you.

@ladennayoung2939

Жыл бұрын

Awe. I thank God that he is choosing to be on the road to recovery. I pray your strength in the LORD in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. The name above ALL names. AMEN.

@mh1290

Жыл бұрын

What is the Jay Reid course?

@leannimalcrackers

Жыл бұрын

@@mh1290 I don't know much about his course, but he's awesome too and has excellent YT content as well; Jay Reid - Recovery from Bad Childhoods

@muskansiddikee2171

10 ай бұрын

Your such a nice wife. I pray to find someone like you in my journey who understands me and support it this part of my life. But I think something it just us alone in our battles.

I heard number 3 and cried. It really sucks having a narc parent.

0:37 #1. Persistent self-doubt 2:02 #2. People-pleasing 4:00 #3. Guilt, shame, or fear about success and attention 5:59 #4. Attachment styles 10:40 #5 Relationship patterns 13:55 #6 Feeling inferior

Another great and kind video. Thank you. I'd like to add that people who come from such families may not think that they deserve abuse. Many times they don't know what's normal, acceptable and healthy, and what's not. They accept abuse because they don't know certain behaviors are abuse, because it was normalized.

Thank you. I’m struggling to stay strong and keep my father from manipulating his way back into my life again. I’m scared of him as he I know he will try to “punish” me for not allowing him to hurt me anymore.

@DrDanielFox

2 ай бұрын

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Remember to prioritize your well-being and set healthy boundaries.

I have the disorganized attachment style. I've always described it as trying to navigate through really dense fog. If I see someone in the fog and I start trying to reach them, I find myself disoriented and unable to really get close to them. However, if someone sees me in the fog and tries to reach me, I tend to withdraw and do the emotional equivalent of running from the unknown stranger chasing me in the fog. It's a difficult attachment style for sure, but I've definitely made progress in recent years thanks to therapy and your BPD resources

Thanks for always explaining your topics simply. Both my parents are Narcissistic. It was a terrible life. My double wammy in this environment was their marriage was a domestic violent shitshow. I unfortunately encountered sexual abuse/ assault as a young kid ,teen, & adult. It makes me sad that I did not let them know of the situations,, but I intuitively knew they would not be there for me. I am 53 now and have been estranged from my mom for 10 years am my dad on an off for the same. This past fall my dad closed the door on our relationship because of my deteriorating mental health issues. Dbt is helping me “wake up” Your videos are a nice bright light of information that’s been very helpful in understanding my brain. Thanks!❤

@KatrinAndHerWoolf

Жыл бұрын

I just like you hadn't told my mother what happend to me. Maybe as a kid I felt uncounsciously that I wasnt't important for her.

@dubaiedge

Жыл бұрын

@@KatrinAndHerWoolf kids are a lot more intuitive & smart than people know. I knew as a very young child no one would believe I was getting sexually abused. I was right, because when I told, I got punished. When I told *again* as an adult, I got disbelieved & shunned.

@Victorygirl2000

3 күн бұрын

We should like twins. I am so sorry for your pain and loss.

Around the 6:30 mark. Had to listen a few times then it clicked. My mother is the narc. I am CONSTANTLY criticized, put down, punished then told I have poor self esteem. I remember her telling me I don't think highly of myself and I was thinking "well that's because you put me down all the time 🤷🏾‍♀️". She took me to a therapist at 15 years old they put me on Zoloft and the therapist wanted to meet with her. She told me that "(she) wasn't the problem and she is not meeting with my therapist". It's crazy making to grow up like that. I've been in therapy since then.

@amber40494

Жыл бұрын

Omg, my narc mother always told everyone I had "problems" and she convinced the therapist she was fine. It's a lifelong struggle!

@Jantonov1

Жыл бұрын

I know your situation well. When I told my mother that I was in therapy she exclaimed, "It's ALWAYS the mother isn't it?!" She still hates the idea of me getting help.

@cloverkitkat6917

Жыл бұрын

My mom definitely realized I had low self esteem since childhood but zero self reflection as to why I ended up that way

@notable9

Ай бұрын

My mom did the same thing.. the therapist said she was the problem and she blew a gasket.. always the putdowns and then so surprised that I was shy and had no confidence in myself..

I used to tolerate alot of toxic people. I am beginning to fight back.

Interesting....my mom would tell me "it's normal for a child to want to do things to please their parents". This is when I was an adult in my 30s....when she didn't accept my fiance because he was a different ethnic background and wanted me to break it off with him.

I was in the goo for 7-10years of teens and young adulthood. Through stable relationships, I'm sooooooo much stronger now. I can't tell you how absolutely horrible that was. Felt like I was in a prison of my own mind.

My mom claimed she was verbally and physically abused as a child and she never talked to her mom since her mid 20s. Shortly after she stopped talking to her siblings. She moved out of state and didn’t give any of them her address or phone numbers. Well , she treated me how her mom treated her. I won’t get into to many specifics but I was hit with belts , spit on , given silent treatments at age 6 ( and still getting them if I tell her no about anything ). She has even told all of her kids that we better not put her in a nursing home bc us kids need to take care of her. I thiight funny considering she disowned her entire family and when she found out they all passed away ( except her oldest brother ) she blamed them for not telling her when they passed and when I asked her how were they suppose to get a hold of her when she moved and didn’t tell any of them where she lived and had not talked to any of them in over 30 years. She said “ they could have figured it out and found me “. She doesn’t drive ( but can but refuses to ) and expects us kids to drive her everywhere from grocery stores , all her dr appointments, Xmas shopping , b day shopping , to restaurants etc. one time she told me if we didn’t take her to her drs appt the next day she was not going to go then tell her dr none of her three kids would take her. Mind you she is perfectly able to drive or take the bus and I told her all about the free rides senior citizens can get to all her dr appointments and grocery shopping. She is a manipulator at its finest

Very true, I lost my identity after wearing and wearing experiences. I went through my people pleasing to survive. Thank god for therapy to peel the toxicity.

Thank you so much for these videos…I finally am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I believe both my parents are narcissists and i never understood why i felt so worthless and empty all the time. I am 57 y/o and i thought their behavior was normal until very recently. Thank you so much for helping people like me.

This was an excellent tutorial. I wanted to mention- when you are this "ppl pleaser", you are hopeful that your spouse, friends & coworkers will reciprocate and you finally get a normal outcome, but many ppl are oblivious of give & take needed in relationships, or you are the helpful/reliable & the manipulatot uses it against you. Excellent video!

Thinking about Dad causes me heartburn and insomnia!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

I will forget he exists, for my own good!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

I stopped thinking about him!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

I am sleeping more since last week.

I wish I understood this 40+ or more years ago. Excellent information and ways to help. Watched a couple of times, saddest part is, will I ever stop feeling unwanted or unworthy of love. Thank you Dr. Fox for excellent video! Keep up the great work!

@CorePathway

Жыл бұрын

Healing is possible. It’s taken me a boatload of grieving to finally start feeling OK with myself. Bigtime grief. I still grieve the lost time, and it’s OK to grieve. It no longer takes me out. Blessings to you

@WhitePelicansareReal

Жыл бұрын

@@CorePathway Thank you for the hope. I’ve been grieving the loss of people, children, and family it seems most of my life, never mind what I always wanted to be. I’m trying to look forward, it is tough. I’m glad you’re making it, take it easy!

My father is either a narcissist or a sociopath. I can't tell the difference

My guilt, doubt and fear to work full time and go back to school. Mainly because I'm so attached to my cats, and always worried of something happening or running out of time with them. I do have doubt and fear about losing disability if I Try and don't make it. Disability doesn't give me enough though to pay my bills so I do work part time. I do have some anxiety but work through it. There was years I didn't think I could or want to work at all.

@healthychick9450

Жыл бұрын

I could have written this myself. Exact same scenario. I'm trying to be brave and get back to work now and have faith that I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!! It has to be. I can't spend the rest of my life like the first part of my life. Best of luck to you. I believe in you!

@sparklingloveandlight

Жыл бұрын

@@healthychick9450 awwww Hi 👋☺️ ! Thanks for your comment. I appreciate you. 🙏 nice to know, we are similar and not alone in this. WE CAN ✨️ I BELIEVE IN US ✨️ ❇️ 💖 🌟 🎇 🥰🥰 .. one choice at a time. One day at a time. I need to remember not to react to feelings of overwhelment and wait to the next day and try again. 🌟 🌟

@LM-yn5xq

Жыл бұрын

I'm in this same boat. I'm waiting on my final hearing for disability. I have two cats and a little girl that keep me going.. I haven't worked since before the pandemic and I'm terrified to go back into the working world again. I know that I'll have to get a part time job eventually but it gives me so much anxiety. I'm praying my disability gets approved but I won't be able to survive from it either. Thank you so much for sharing your story and helping me to know I'm not alone 🙏❤️

@sparklingloveandlight

Жыл бұрын

@@LM-yn5xq my heart ❤️ goes out to you ✨️ may you relieve blessings you desire 🙏 strength and courage 🙏 ❤️

@LM-yn5xq

Жыл бұрын

@@sparklingloveandlight Thank you so much 🥰 and I pray the same for you!

I have lost touch with reality because so many unbearable emotions would plague me and narcissistic people love to exploit me when I'm feeling at my worst so I developed social anxiety.. Thank you so much for these videos, i was losing my mind. So many people especially family eroded me looking back on it...😢

@DrDanielFox

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story and for your kind words. It means a lot to me that my videos have been able to provide some comfort and support during your tough times. Remember, you're stronger than you think and you have the power to overcome anything life throws at you!

Yes OMG The NAGGING & passive-aggressive comments, their own made up rules.

@DrDanielFox

Жыл бұрын

Very difficult to manage and deal with.

Number 3 - Guilt, shame, and fear of succeeding or being noticed. That one has been kicking my ass for 55 years. I'm surrounded by unfinished projects. Everywhere I look, something needs work. So damn depressing. What's more is I have been making concerted efforts in the past few years to rectify that. Now, I can't figure out if it's me that's the problem or the world I live in. Electronics (not stereos or games), computer programming, robotics (not toys, but useful machines), and automation have been my passion. My parent's influence has been so difficult to overcome that I can't concentrate on the things I want to invent for hearing their voices in my head while I try to advance my work. Meanwhile, I see the ideas I had come to fruition by someone else's hand.

I just got out of 3 month relationship with a narcissist. So I have been learning more about this topic and I just realized that I have a narcissist mother. This is the energy I’m attracting. Now that I’m self aware I can start working on myself.

This video made me laugh and cry. Great video!! Thank you, again! I love how you describe the confusion of it. Only we, who have this issue can really understand (and the great mental health professionals like yourself)

At the end you said 'I will zee you next time' which is just what people feeling invisible with a narcissistic parent

THIS. MAKES. PERFECT. SENSE!

Thanks for including the portion on attachment styles, I’d consider myself pretty well versed in narcissism and dealing with the result of my mothers abuse but it helped me understand why I’m afraid to get close and often freeze. With this awareness I can truly keep healing. Thanks

Cried through most of this, especially knowing it's too late for me. The only part of this vid that fails is that you are asking the child of a narcissistic parent to be aware of and change their adaptive tendencies, but an adult child doesn't know what a healthy version is. We have ideas and concepts but no emotional concept of what it feels like so when we stand up, when we try to do as you suggest, we are very unsure and alone in a new world which will reinforce doubt, fear, and anxiety.

@DrDanielFox

Ай бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's never too late to work on yourself and make positive changes in your life.

@carolmaplesden916

Ай бұрын

64 year old here I came from a severe narc occult family and community I was surrounded and I have yet to this day found even one other that can relate so if I can you can you will never heal if you make excuses

I can’t wait! 🎉

Thank you so much 🙏🏼

Straight to the point!!! Excellent video!

So helpful and supportive. Thank you.

Thank you so much Dr. Daniel Fox

Another great video! Wow thank you!!! 😭🙏🏻 You help us feel seen

thank you very much for this video. thank you.

Bless you Dr. Fox for this video and all your wonderful content and channel 🙏

*GOOD THINGS HAPPEN FROM GOOD DECISIONS*👌

Thank you, Doctor.

All my gratitude to you Dr FOX from Morocco

My dad is a narcissist; always has been and will remain this way. I was punished for saying no to the verbal or other abuse. As if I should be ashamed. I didn't do anything to warrant his abuse(ever). He has to be in total control. I am 59 now. He is still trying to pull the paternal card "I am your father; you have to obey me no matter what. You don't matter, only to be polite, do what I want and say yes to abuse." through behavior. I don't trust him, his family or other(most) other men.

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

It set me up for abuse from other men; including one of his narcissistic brothers; same garbage!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

They said inappropriate things to me and expect me to be nice, polite and obedient. Their mother told me to "Have a sense of humor" Neither the situation, nor the jokes were appropriate; she enabled their attitudes and behaviors. I felt betrayed by her, too. I was 26 then, I am 59 now. I don't trust these two men to this day! I deserve a much better father and uncle!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

No one ever told them to shut up and leave me alone! They take silence as assent. Pathetic!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

I hated family get-togethers and holidays, their mother's(late) birthday; they would act out(father, said uncle). Horrible. And then, they would me that I have the problem attitude and shape up (put up and shut up is more like it) I was mistreated. When I say "No" these men ignore me. Awful. It was disorienting. They would laugh at me, punish me for not going along with the sick games, and then make me the butt of their cruel jokes. They got away with it: all the time. They blamed me for something I never caused. It was upsetting. Dad told me to trust him, yet he hurt me time and time again; and then laughed at me; after telling me I was at fault for him abusing me. He thinks he can still silence me. No! I have blocked his number on my phone. I was taught that because I am female, I am less credible and important. Pathetic!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

I resent their attitudes!

Thank you so much Dr 💐

@DrDanielFox

7 ай бұрын

Always welcome

This was a great video Dr. Fox. A lot of those points (ok all of them) seem relevant to my life. It’s always interesting to see to see things that seem so real and solid to me-like feeling a sense of defectiveness laid out in black and white as a symptom that I share with other people. I think it puts things in perspective-and makes me realize it’s something that I don’t have to blindly accept. Thank you for that.

Great video! Very informative and relatable

@DrDanielFox

7 ай бұрын

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

Fantastic video dr. Fox

@DrDanielFox

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.

thank you so much for your very good videos, they are helping to understand alot !!!

@DrDanielFox

Жыл бұрын

You are welcome!

What a superbly impactful video Mr. Fox 🎉❤ You helped illuminate so many patterns for me and definitely others on here thank u so much 😁

Thank you for posting this content, brings me a lot of clarity I couldn't have dreamed of a year ago. Currently looking for similar style of therapy locally, just so difficult to get in as a new patient these days, but I'm not giving up!

Yes! Thank-you for sharing this. Fear of success is crippling- and familiarity with minimising the self feels like home. Love your work 🙏🏽

Thank you very much dr fox. You explained very well how I feel about my broken life. I need to listen and study more to become stronger and stay with my goal. I don’t want to give up. Thank you for giving me the encouragement and inspiration.

I selected out of going to Juilliard music school and married a very abusive, antisocial guy.

@thereisnosanctuary6184

Жыл бұрын

Um. Free will is a thing. He was a choice. This is about people born into it.

@firehorse9996

Жыл бұрын

@@thereisnosanctuary6184 Cruel comment. In AMF's previous comment above she says she has Narc parents and is now over 70 years old. Suggest you go troll somewhere else. Hopefully, @Dr. Daniel Fox will delete and block you.

@necsefor

Жыл бұрын

@@thereisnosanctuary6184 Wow, judgmental much?

@thereisnosanctuary6184

Жыл бұрын

@@necsefor well, allow me to lawyer up. There are exactly 1,569,003 KZread channels about "The Narcissist" in a woman's life. Dr. Fox has plenty of videos and always comes back to bpd and bpd issues. Here, however is a video specifically about parental abuse, something boys AND girls can endure. Yet, still two commentors, likely more, took this as an opportunity to complain about their ex. That person they brought into their life. If they were mentioning how their spouse abused them and their children, maybe I'd lay off. I'm not Dr. Fox. He is a kind man. I can be kind, but I prefer honesty more. So, yes I've judged 2 or 3 commentors as self serving hijackers of a particular topic. And I mentioned it.

Really confusing because both my parents are narcs, but also very loving. I now realise that all the times they were there to help me, was because they were uncomfortable with seeing me struggle so rather than offer support they solved the problem. I don't want my problems solved, I want them to be not dismissed as an issue to me

@age93

Жыл бұрын

If your parents are narcissists… They aren’t loving and likely solved your problems to control the outcome and prevent independence.

Thanks dr. FOX.

@amber40494

Жыл бұрын

I have all 6!! Where can I get more help?

Thank you very much for this video!

@DrDanielFox

Ай бұрын

You're very welcome!

Brilliant video,Dr. Fox! Thank you!

@DrDanielFox

Ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.

Thank you

@DrDanielFox

Жыл бұрын

You’re welcome.

I'm surprised to see the amount of comments about S ilent treatment. Being ignored is only enjoyable if you want the person to leave you alone. I'd like to validate the minority I suppose. The silent treatment is absolute torture when you don't know what's happening. Being given false hope, bread crumbs, being future faked with the idea the issue will soon be resolved while being ignored, neglected, and ostracized. It was more traumatic and painful than any physical abuse I've experienced. I literally drove myself into an extreme depression and suicidal ideation trying to fix the reason for my sisters abandonment. Over two years later and I still wasn't told. Narcissism was the only thing that made sense and gave me any type of closure and ability to stop holding onto her and my nieces. Now I'm left picking up the shambles. Mental abuse isn't enjoyable. If you're being stonewalled and are struggling, you aren't weak. Emotional pain is processed in the exact brain region as physical.

The story of my life basically😢

"what's the person in the goo doing" 😂 your metaphors are brilliant!

this is really good and helpful - thank you. also a bit sobering... I recognise these in me

@DrDanielFox

3 ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

6/6 😂 heaps to work on. Thanks for sharing this info with us ❤

Everything viewed in this video, was spot on. It touched the very essence of the subject that has been discussed. I truly have been effected by narcissistic abuse through out my life by family members, so-called friends & employment. I most certainly didn't like it. I never enjoyed the torment, either. The day, that came to end the cycle, was a real game changer. The individuals responsible for their behavior towards me, was my supervisors, from ALL past positions, which I've held, up to my current position of employment - Let me just say, That, They didn't dare to retaliate against me, after I effectively exposed there bullshit. The evidence - I had on them was very serious, hence forth, illegal. Management and The Teamsters took over my case at that point. To this very day - I still have my job. And with every other problems, The abuse, everything - Stopped & ended on that day, 6 ( Going on 7 ) years ago. I was 46 at the time, I'm now 52.

@DrDanielFox

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your own experience. It's always encouraging to hear stories of people overcoming narcissistic abuse. I'm glad you were able to put an end to the cycle and find support. Wishing you continued strength and healing.

❤❤ Please increase volume.

✔️ ✔️ ✔️ ✔️ to every word

Conditional love ?

@Lunit30

Жыл бұрын

That’s touched on when he discusses people pleasing…

@Traumatised311

5 ай бұрын

My dad has n mom have damaged me so much

Exatamente o q sou. Mas já despertei e tô fazendo diferente. Por mim.

A child will progress with strength and the benefactor (hopefully plus atleast two) in the relationship is liberal to all needs as wants or goo. Thus their own desire can develop, sense of purpose. That's the quality of relationship. Both in the quality of need and enabled.

This is a good video thanks. for many years I thought narcisstic parents are the ones that speak too much about themselves but I realised people can be shy and timid but all they consider and project to their kids is their own needs. that is also narcissism and not knowing that affect us by not realising why these symptoms exist in us

I heard you say that you have a new KZread channel, but I can't find it. What do I look under? I love your videos! Many thanks.

@DrDanielFox

Жыл бұрын

Sorry, I was not able to maintain 2, so it's only this one.

I have BPD, my mother is NPD. And I do belive deeply that by being sensitive and intuitive child, she didnt like me so much as my syster who is a mirror of her. A lot of toxicity, that breaks a child's heart, toxic shaming, etc. You are never good enough for anything even if you do it perfectly, you can do it better, or you have more tasks that are not appropriate for youre age. Of course that you will make mistakes in learning as a child and that is oportunity in helathy familly to growth and learning. , So Im not confused about having my diganosis, and sometimes overlap with NPD patterns. Im in therapy for four years, and it is developing conscious descisions with feeling so disregulated sometimes with inner voice that speaks mamas and sister language in my head. And a lot of self compassion and healthy boundaries. Thnx dr Fox. We all have inherent values as living beings❤

@DrDanielFox

5 ай бұрын

I'm really sorry to hear about your experiences growing up. It sounds like you've been through a lot, but it's great to hear that you're in therapy and working on developing healthy boundaries and self-compassion. Keep pushing forward and remember that you deserve love and happiness.

Thank you for this. Do you offer online counseling?

@DrDanielFox

3 күн бұрын

Thank you for asking, but I'm not taking client's at this time. I have a colleague who is at relatepsysvc.com/ She's amazing!!

Imagine being a child just telling your mama hey and she tell you get the f*** out of her face. Thats why i stayed in my room. Never welcoming

That iceberg picture always freaked me out, and now I know why. It represents me. Man, the first time I saw it I literally jerked away and covered my face and let out a shriek. I am usually pretty stoic, but I flipped out a little bit that first time.

I am 59 now, and do not need to be lectured on what dad(narcissist) thinks I am doing that is disrespectful(nothing!) so he takes the lecturing tone when I stand up to him(verbally). He acts as if he can still scream, rant, rave, and I have to blindly obey and say thank you for the abuse, Dad. NO!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

Or that he thinks he can take out the belt and lash at me. Horrible; for some perceived disrespect. Unreal!

@jackilynpyzocha662

9 ай бұрын

I blocked his phone number so I will not be terrorized. He is a a menace. He groomed me for this and is probably proud of that. Sick jackass!

I enjoyed the video, thanks. Do these parenting styles you described put eventually the foundation for a child to develop BPD?

@DrDanielFox

7 ай бұрын

It certainly can.

@titikamaragoula4150

7 ай бұрын

@@DrDanielFoxThank you

everytime i watch these video topics i get such a headache lol ..... i ee simmliarites in my fam dynamic but my parents weren't power hungry .... actually my parents were very people pleasers themselves ..... but sometimes at the expense of the kids ... even when they tried to please one of us kids over the other just to try and keep that kid calm or feeling loved .... its hard to describe ..... but they would always try to be there when needed (expecully with paying for needs)...... but i often did feel unimportant till there was a disater around one of our needs ... why my eldest sister still to this day at 40 will still yell and put down my mom to get what she wants ..... very hard stuff to listen about as i actually struggle with all of these .... i truly don't know how to want for myself it makes me feel uncomfortable expecully if i love someone as i tend to love them more then mysef .... if that makes since ..... I'm also a fearful avodent when people say they like me or find me attractive or say om smart i tend to panic and feel uncomfortable it doesn't matter how many people actually like me and i have as friends it still feel wired when i try to make new friends or try out for new things and my parents made us super social as kids i always did scoail after school activities .... but now as an adult its not natural lol even with my partner i have a hard time keeping my wants if he makes a emotional plee or logical plan even if I'm scared to do it i bend just to ake sure he's happy .... i just don't want to accept my parents are nsrssatitic ......they truly do help me and think of me .... i guess when they can ..... ugh these videos make me panic and think but i guess that's good for the mind when gaining insight ..... but i literally have problems wiht all of these once other people are involved when I'm alone I've gotten good at making a choice i gues you could say that but even then its repeat all night cuz it feels comforting lol deep insight here dr fix thank you

Yes sooo sad😔🥲

@DrDanielFox

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Maybe you could make a video? I’ve made some progress by figuring out if I can angle it to how it benefits him, but that’s it. Like a what is in it for him. I can’t grant special privileges - It’s like an inch equals a mile for giving.

Your so true, my mother has been treating me horrible for years, so much I had to cut myself off from her, I haven't seen her in 14 years, I hate her.

@DrDanielFox

Ай бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult experience with your mother. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health.

My "mother" recently "apologized" then proceeded to tell me she said she didnt want me when she waa pregnant out of anger and that it placed a "spirit of rejection" on me and that's why I grew up and was treated the way I was.

Watching this just shows how unfixable this is. Im almost 30 with still no friends. Feels like im still a child, not being able to create bonds because i have to sit back and read people before i can interact and I usually end up never interacting with them. I'm stuck in this fat ass body she trapped me in. DO YOU KNOW ALL THE BULLYING I ENDURED???? PEOPLE AT MY OWN SCHOOL TAKING PICTURES OF ME AND POSTING THEM ON INSTAGRAM??? I HAD BULLIES AT SCHOOL AND A BULLY AT HOME. I studied what makes people laugh and smile. Started making vines so people could stop laughing at me and laugh at something else. I wore headphones all throughout highschool because I hated hearing people laugh at me or hear them laughing and tryin to figure out if I was the joke that just passed by. Do you know how hard it was trying to fit in when I knew I'll never fit in???

Im 34 and my parents are very immature and intrusive and lack of remorse

@DrDanielFox

5 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your experience. It can be tough dealing with parents who lack maturity. Just know that you're not alone and there's support out there for you.

@dark7angel456

5 ай бұрын

@@DrDanielFox before I had KZread videos for support, before 2019, I had to suffer for years with dealing with these kinds of people and the depression that came with it and mental breakdowns and emotional breakdowns and haven't always feel low in order to feel alright I guess. The energy vampires got really hard to deal with and it literally felt like I was being so drained that I could barely function or eat or sleep. Always having to suffer with none of my needs or wants or desires ever noticed or fullfilled got a bit hard over time and felt like I didn't matter that much to anybody...

@dark7angel456

4 ай бұрын

Thanks. It means alot. I am psycologically screwed up. But didn't know what to do. Support would help me when i feel overwhelmed with all these negative feelings all at one time.

I had to deal with eroding Mental Health because of the narcissistic behaviors of my family/ parents and other people. My parents are like a mosquito nest in my brain the invade my whole mind and I can't even feel right or good about myself because of them. They wait and inspect ti find out what hurts/bothers me the most and what I like in life and turn it against me. Very disturbing deranged people. And also try to make me feel very uncomfortable instead of welcomed. Enmeshment and live off of my mind like an extension of themself while I internalize all of their negative energy but I want to live my life but it seems like I can't because it's so bogged down by the toxicity of my family and other narcissistic people that are drawn towards me. They excuse their toxic behaviors by not paying attention to how it affects me.

"What's the person in the goo doing" has become my life saying now ;D

Dr. Fox, is there a book you would recommend to work through?

@DrDanielFox

7 ай бұрын

Daughters of narcissistic mothers.

@marlawharton4090

7 ай бұрын

Even if it was my father and my mother was the enabler? Thank you for responding! @@DrDanielFox

Could you maybe do a segment on the narsasistic mother that takes the granddaughter to hurt the daughter? This is what has happened to me. And my now adult daughter treats me the same as my mother.

@ambernjoseph4101

Ай бұрын

So sorry to hear of your situation. What are some things your mom used to tell your daughter?

Trigger warning: Yesterday and the day before i got some messages on instagram. One from a narcissist and one from another bad man. Both were pretty dangerous, sexual and uncomfortable for me. The one man wanted to pay me when i give him "attention". I have ptsd and i lost it after these two men triggered me to my bone. I felt unsafe and worthless. I still feel unsafe and like a prey in the wild. Anyone can catch me. Anyone can take me. I need do be loved so badly that i attract bad people i feel like. After over two years on the search for a therapist i still dont have one. Yesterday i didnt have anyone to talk to. I deleted instagram for a while. But still i feel alone, worthless and unlovable. I dont know where i can get help honestly. I dont know.

@laurenharper1510

Жыл бұрын

Try a 12 step program like Al-anon or adult children of alcoholics or AA - just start and ask the people to direct you into the right program for you. I love the wisdom I find at 12 step programs. They are in almost every city and are only 1.00.

My mom even said “you have been broken since birth”

What can you do as a child that feels the same core wounds as a narcissist. My child’s dad was very abusive. I was not able to keep him feeling safe for a long time. It took a long time to get the court to protect my child. The damage was done. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to restore is back to a healthy attachment. His dad went out of his way to manipulate with parental alienation. He has the healthiest relationship he has with me, but has those narcissist core wounds. I have tried all sorts of things, but I haven’t been very successful. Deep down he’s got such a beautiful soul, but it’s rare that shines thru. I feel like time is running out. He’s 12. He shares his feelings sometimes and it’s like a wounds that can’t heal. Help me please. Advise me how to bolster his sense of self and self-worth. He feels attached and safe enough with me emotionally to tell me how he feels once in a while. None of the people I’ve taken him to seem to understand. He didn’t make any progress till he went to a therapist who specialized in attachment. She discontinued treatment as he was not very compliant. What can I do to scaffold him in the right direction?