What are some of the things that you heard from the narcissist?

@bonniehowell4760

Жыл бұрын

"You're simple minded, you're not very complicated." Standing up for myself sent him into a rage.

@SJD36

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes my mental health is not well and they call my issue a burden when they may have caused it to begin with.

@julieanna8495

Жыл бұрын

Married 34 LONG years to an overt narcissist. He has called me several times-a Loser. 😐😧. I used to take it to heart for the first two decades. Then at age 58, for the first time, I entered a State University. My three grown Sons told me that I needed to go as when I was in my 20s only rich girls or the very smart that got scholarships could dream of going to a University. So still married to the narcissist, but at my University educated Sons encouragement, I enrolled and took three classes. I hadn’t been in a classroom in over 40 years, 😂, but I loved EVERYTHING about going to University. I loved taking notes-I did it long-hand as that was how we did it back in the day. I could hardly keep up as the professors spoke so quickly. Some students told me about Voice Memo where one could record the class.👍🏼👏🏼💪🏼😁. Perfect. Now I typed all the lectures and started making A’s. Then an entire semester of A’s. Then an entire YEAR of A’s. I did all of this all the while taking care of my house and fixing home-cooked meals every night. The walls in my kitchen started resembling the walls of serial murderer, haha. I had notes on Statistics, General Biology, English 401, and of course, Psych classes. I was constantly studying.😁💪🏼. I loved it. I was entering my Senior Year and STILL had a magnificent 4.0. And I was by then 62.😁. One day I was bringing my narcissist his supper in the bedroom as he is always in the computer, I answered him in a way he didn’t like and he once again called me, ‘a loser’. I looked at him and began laughing in his face.😐😁. I finally understood: all this time he had been using Projection. 🙄🙄. I knew because of my grades that a 4.0 university student could not be classified as a loser. Since that day he has never called me that again. My degree is in Behavioral Psychology just so I could understand the dynamics of what goes on in the mind of a dysfunctional personality disordered person. I could divorce him now as we are financially well-off, but I love my three Sons too much to disrupt the family dynamics. I can now disassociate myself from the words he uses because I understand the abuse he must have endured at the hands of his Father who I know was also a narcissist. These people truly are empty vessels disguised as being legends in their own minds. I am thankful for your channel. You are an outstanding coach. Blessings to you .😘

@denisecrabill3627

Жыл бұрын

"Why can't you be on my side! You never support me! "

@shanekamarie8325

Жыл бұрын

1. That was in the past let’s just move on.(it’s only the past when it’s in reference to something he’s done wrong 🙄) 2. You’re so sensitive/emotional 3. You’re never going to meet anyone who loves u as much as I do 😂

"I never said that" "I don't remember that" "You just made that shit up" "Everybody thinks you're crazy" I feel like their goal is to break you.

@alisonnonumber

Жыл бұрын

Make no mistake, it is.

@Darkguardian823

Жыл бұрын

So my deal is this. I say all of these, but I have a legitimate terrible memory, and I used to question whether or not I was the narcissist because I would say those. When in fact his memory is insane, and about a year or so ago I really started to question whether or not I say the things that he is telling me I said. I have apologized so much, so many times for things like hanging out with friends, forgetting plans that I never recall making. The big kicker for me was last night, he said I called him a liar. I don’t remember saying it (Even though I am beginning to think it), but what ensued was 8 hours of ignoring me, telling me how much I hurt him so on……even though what I remember about it was that he was effectively accusing me of being the liar. I don’t have a lot of fight left in me, but I am done. 13 years of this, my friends are vanishing, and I don’t have much of a support system left, but if I can get out now maybe it wont be too late.

@pjmrees

Жыл бұрын

Their goal IS to break you. 1st Peter 5:8

@suedesignable

Жыл бұрын

When did you meet my sibling?????😢🤦‍♀️

@SkyePhoenix

Жыл бұрын

That Is their goal!

It's not just what they say but how they say it. It's their body language, tone of voice and how they roll their eyes at you. It's how they use your vulnerability against you. They are bullies... and bullies are cowards.

@caramelapple4053

Жыл бұрын

The biggest cowards

@mariehalsey8892

Жыл бұрын

100%

@angelategos7217

Жыл бұрын

thanks for reminding me--perfect word for them is BULLY!!!! my mom bullied us all, including my dad. she was the WORST.

@EveLevell

Жыл бұрын

Oh yes, I will tell many times my ex partner exactlu what you wrote and he will say, that he didnt understand, that only I percieve this, that I was overlysensitive, that I just wanted to pick a fight, that I was offending him by not letting him telling me how to do things bc he knew best and so on...m

@heatherlicious8224

Жыл бұрын

I always called him a bully

I am a survivor. I understand everything you say. I survived a malignant abusive father and then married two malignant narcissists. I am damaged for a lifetime. Thank God the marriages ended. You are an Angel for creating these videos. Knowledge is power… I wish I had this knowledge 50 years ago.

@bewarefalsenonprofits

6 ай бұрын

You are not alone. Here I am 56 years old and just realizing how I survived a family full of crazies just to marry an older, down low bro, narcissist. I'm not going to recover in this Earth life. But, I am going to try and mother myself, care for myself the way I would have mothered the children I never had. Mother myself the way an alcoholic, schizophrenic, narcissistic monster of a mother was not capable. I am able, I am honest, I am kind, I am NOT one of them. We may not recover fully but we can regain peace. Best & Forward to you.

“I’m a good person”. This is what they said. Even though they lied, deceived, cheated, and robbed me of 3 1/2 years.

@jacquelinefroehle3583

Жыл бұрын

Exactly..covert narc " I'm a positive person and you are a negative person "... they believe in positionalities....they are better than you. They have no consideration no respect no love.

@jacquelinefroehle3583

Жыл бұрын

You can have a better marriage with a refrigerator than with a narcissist...lol

@nabilc1667

Жыл бұрын

@@jacquelinefroehle3583 That is actually true

@GuavaJ3nny

Жыл бұрын

Yes!! No one Normal has to tell you they are good person. It’s so bizarre.

@rustyshackleford4299

Жыл бұрын

@@GuavaJ3nny Can you say, "Inflation Reduction Act"?

"You've changed" is one that I heard. When in fact, I hadn't changed a bit. I was just reacting to the way that I was being treated.

@nabilc1667

Жыл бұрын

That is their way of making you feel guilty. They deflect all responsibility to their partner. Narcissists want to make their partner feel confused, so that they will doubt themselves and lose control of themselves

@nabilc1667

Жыл бұрын

@@MaryDunford Well put

@tommydanger60

Жыл бұрын

OMG, I heard the constantly!! I would ask her what exactly has changed about me, and it was all gaslighting responses. I would then add that it is actually her who has changed but she would disagree on everything I mentioned.

@rodentcafeteria

Жыл бұрын

@@tommydanger60 Exactly! Never a straight answer.

@ysho2248

Жыл бұрын

This happened to me just a few days ago. Accused everyone of changing whereas she had turned quite negative which I wasn't goin g to entertain.! SMH.

I've noticed they hate when you go mute. Drives them crazy to be next to you and you not respond to ANYTHING they say or do

@ml8452

Жыл бұрын

True, but, my ex narcissist used going mute at least in person as a weapon for exactly this purpose in reverse, and a way to make me feel responsible for the problem, when I am trying to talk it through.

@annem7806

Жыл бұрын

Yup, they are pissed bc that routine is often one they had on their list to use on you.

Famous line "That's not my problem" meaning: "I played a big part in causing the problem, but it's your job to fix it."

@debiwhite3100

11 ай бұрын

Hear that one quit often.

Sending love healing and validation to everyone in the comments 💜💜💜

@isobel2323

Жыл бұрын

Thank you - much love to you, too sweetie-pie x

@goesfarfliesnear1447

Жыл бұрын

Thank you pretty lady!

@meaghenstandlee6644

Жыл бұрын

@@Human_01 you sure do like your labels 😆 sadly ur wrong im definitely not a covert narc I was abused by one years ... so sorry to "offend"you 😞

Famous sayings of a narcissist, "You always misunderstand me." "You are too sensitive." When they say things to degrade or humiliate you, they say, "Why can't you take a joke, most people would think it is funny, why can't you?"

@moodyBroadcast

Жыл бұрын

Yees that... I used to respond with "how can it be funny when I'm supposed to laugh at myself by you insulting me, how's that A joke!?" like tf... It was on and on and on... Almost everyday sly...

@judywright4241

Жыл бұрын

Another ‘No one likes being around you because you take everything so seriously! Lighten up and folks will like you better.’ Talk about overthinking after hearing that!

@swannsong578

Жыл бұрын

I get accused of not having a sense of humor. I do have one ( others think I’m quite witty) but he thinks ridiculing and belittling me is being funny.. When I stand up for myself and ask him to stop he says “cant you take a joke?”.

@pamelaminor696

Жыл бұрын

Another saying 'You just don't understand my sense of humor' after they humiliated me in front of strangers. Implying that they are especially clever & I'm too stupid to see their cruelty as a brilliant ( they think) joke.

@tealemon4693

Жыл бұрын

But what they say to you is never to be taken as an insult but if you ask them to pick up the socks off the floor they can turn that into such cruelty to them and you're just scratching your head it's like what happened

"We don't really heal anything; we simply let it go." Jung Narcissist only have power if it is given.

"You are always negative" "You always talk about the bad things but never the good things I have done." "After all I have done for you." "Everything is always my fault." My mother says these and more to me.

@SkyePhoenix

Жыл бұрын

I feel you. My mother is the Original narcissist in my life. I've tried and failed at going no contact with her a few times.

@dustyden420

Жыл бұрын

Same

@swannsong578

Жыл бұрын

My husband says these to me frequently. Im generally a positive person, but if i have a different opinion than him, he accuses me of being negative and pessimistic.

@theresekearney1640

Жыл бұрын

Yes I’ve been accused of negativity for years, so now I say it’s a difference of opinion, and that’s an ok thing. He can accept the logic of that, but the behaviour breaks out in other ways, with put-downs, snide comments and frequently the monologue +/ - The Lecture!! I feel the monologue is to monopolise my time, particularly if I’ve said I plan to do some particular task around our place, and I feel I have to listen to him in case some gem of wisdom or insight might be revealed! You’d think I’d learn that is never the case!!!

@Brigitte_0201

Жыл бұрын

My mom and my daughter, both are narcissists ....

Not only do narcissist refuse to let you interupt them they go on endlessly before getting to the point they are trying to make which you can see coming but disagree with. You ask them to get to the point quickly so you can say no but they refuse because they have it all mapped out in their head how they are going to get you to agree. After 30 minutes your mind starts to wander then they get annoyed that you don't concentrate and accuse you of being stupid for not understanding!

I was told to "stop living in the past" after some nasty abuse that happened 30 seconds ago! Another one that is crazy making was he would curse and insult me and i would try to say that was hurtful and he would cut me off and argue about why he was justified and when I tried to finish my reasoning he would say, "but I'm not doing that NOW" WHAT?!

@funkycoldmedina1207

Жыл бұрын

I used to hear the same thing."you have to learn to let things go" "you don't listen to me, ever!" "We can never move forward because you stay in the past" a few more examples. I caught on quick early on. I became my narcissists worst nightmare. I don't suggest it to anyone, now that I've educated myself on the behaviors of these types. What they don't know about us is we can do the same things they do plus more. I noticed what things I said or did that bugged the hell out of her saw her reaction and went with it. Anticipated her cheating the whole shabang! When she would walk In the door, I'd ask hows. #2 doing? She said you mean #1?! To which id say well your stuff is still her so it's #2 I'm sure of it. Lol let me know when he's ready I'll have a coffee wit him so we can trade notes since we share lots in many ways."yeah since I'm a big whore and you hate me!" Typical of what I'd get back. I straight would tell her I'm a mirror not a person I used to cry when I cared but since you took my human powers away from me I can't so excuse me while I sit her in the cold darkness where my heart lives now, and yes it is your fault! I'm sure she remembers me! Don't let these ppl get to you. They're so fragile and so easy to mess with. One thing I didnt like about myself was the longer I was with her the more I got dark I actually started to enjoy how my evil creative genius came out when it came to playing games with her. Not proud of myself for that but hey, what can I do when I'm only trying to survive! Oh yeah! I'm well aware of what she was doing so I fed it back.

@pjmrees

Жыл бұрын

@@funkycoldmedina1207 funny you say that about regetting who you are becoming being with them. Evil wants to destroy good that's the goal is if you can remain good, decent and loving despite what was dished out to you.

@funkycoldmedina1207

Жыл бұрын

Yes theres definitely more that comes with these people when you let them in your life. I realized the messed up things in my mind and they would get really bad to where I'd have to be combative with my own thoughts and sometimes say it aloud to myself, that's not who I am and should get those nasty things out of my brain

@pjmrees

Жыл бұрын

I know I'll probably get push back on this statement but after living this hell I fully believe narcissism is rooted in spiritual illness which in turn controls the mental state. Why are narcissists the same regardless of gender, culture age etc. Because of Mark 5:9..My name is Legion....We are many (coming from the same source of evil)

@RKX_Errant

Жыл бұрын

@@pjmrees I agree with you. Narcissists seem to have a "hive" mind. Personally, I believe they have a cancer of the soul.

When I stand up for myself, he slowly repeats each of my words like he’s trying to comprehend these concepts for the 1st time in his life.

@shonahight9250

Жыл бұрын

Yes !!!! And like it will ever truly register or matter 🤦‍♀️

@mariagordanier3404

Жыл бұрын

I got this treatment also. He had several "parlour tricks" like this to avoid a genuine conversation Another one was "you are yelling at me" which I was not.

"I can't be with you 24/7" when told him we were almost never together which was a fact and he said I had "abandonment issues" he was always the victim and I was the one picking the fights when I confronted him with his lack of interest and effort and then I got the silent treatment, after that I was completely done with him!

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” The non - apology.

I use facts when I talk to him so he can't deflect but he still does. He can never admit to any wrong doing. And if he does admit to making a mistake, he blames me for it.

@joywebster2678

Жыл бұрын

Oh they still refute facts by denying that the event happened at all, ( gaslighting), denying they did or said anything even when given date time context. Witnesses? You all misheard me. Or the favourite, shrug and walk away.

He always said I wasn’t listening to him..when I spoke he criticized things I would talk about. I’m 58 years old and never in life have I had someone pick apart so many things about me leaving me question myself, literally question my reality.

All I can say is after 21 years.. it is soooo peaceful on the other side when it’s over… and guess what??? I am not crazy, I am organised and rational, and I don’t forget what I have just said!!

I survived 30 yrs of narcissistic abuse. When I confronted him with horrible behaviour, he would say: ‘You are not remembering that correctly. That’s not what happened.” He would try to change my reality.

@patriciat4493

Жыл бұрын

The response of 'that never happened' is pure denial, gaslights you and dismisses your feelings - the trifecta of narcissistic abuse!

@graceunderfire941

Жыл бұрын

He hit me ..so I left him. Later ,when I tried again because of the kids he said to ME "I only hit you because you left me" WTF

@lucyt-c8092

Жыл бұрын

@@graceunderfire941 I hope you left again?

@RedHeadie_88

Жыл бұрын

That's called gaslighting. You should have recorded him and played it all back.

@a.b.creator

Жыл бұрын

My mother does that!!

My ex loved to say “this is all in your head” whenever I would try to say there was a problem. And he liked to say “that’s the way you believe it is. That doesn’t mean it’s true.” I finally said “are you saying my thinking is faulty?” Even then, he said “See, I never said that. You did.”

@jaykay415

Жыл бұрын

That is such a great example of the projection they do! I've seen them decide that what they WANT to believe is true - because they want it to be! It's just the weirdest thing, to be so committed to a story in your head, because (for whatever reason) you want it to be the truth, based on NO evidence.

@thehotcoffeehouse6081

Жыл бұрын

I respond to that last part ( as i get that from narcs too)...with , " you didn't have to say it. Actions speak louder than words, pal." Or simply "You implied It. Good as saying it, pal" Yes I put the " pal" in there. Drives them nuts!

@butchershoppequartet8690

Жыл бұрын

Aarrgh, I used to get "it's all in your head", until I said, "yes, because that's where my brain is".

@Kjers1020

Жыл бұрын

I got that one too

@kellystarlight7025

Жыл бұрын

Crazy making, good job getting out

Always says " I'm doing the best I can". When trying to explaining myself, turns everything back on me, saying everything is all my fault

The last time I had a conversation with a relative couple, one liar, one narc, I let them just carry on talking and it included most of the points in this vid. When they'd finnished I said. Fair enough. Got in my car, not seen them since. Best thing I ever did.👍

My dad was (he has passed on) a COVERT narcissist of the hightest level. He was I think actually a narcissist and sociopath and would toggle between these two behaviours. I'm 57 and I started to understand how destructive he was when I was about 42. I knew something was up before but I could not figure it out. He had so many levels and targets that no one, but no one would be able to figure him out. It was useless to try and discuss this with anyone that knew him because he had them so entangled that even they did not know his tactics. Quite incredible. I have since gone no contact with most of my family and extended family and am much more mentally at peace.

@angesoup

Жыл бұрын

I am no contact as well and it has made me healthier and given me the ability to see things more objectively. As we age we constantly reassess our childhoods and process the trauma. Strength to you and do not listen to the guilt voices that tell you to contact your family. You know what's good for you!

@sharondoan1447

Жыл бұрын

Protecting yourself is a reasonable choice. Many of us have been so desperate for love and acceptance within our own family that we have endured years, decades even , of constantly being treated badly . When any of the abused complain, the abusers always deny the charge. “ It’s your imagination” is a commonly used phrase.

@gabriellabennett7024

Жыл бұрын

@@sharondoan1447 So right. It is so confusing when you are young. Good observation.

@ChristianSoldier71

Жыл бұрын

ATTENTION!!! If you died today , where will you go, Heaven or Hell? We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus loves you and He died for your sins. Repent and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Once you die, it will be too late to repent. Mark 1:15 For the Kingdom of God is at hand, repent and believe in the gospel...

"You're the reason why I drink. You never show me any affection. You're always upset. You never ask about my day. You never tell me how you feel. You never talk. You never communicate. You never want to do anything with me."

@Carl0sjim3n3z

Жыл бұрын

Omg so true!!!

@laabsenceofcol8079

Жыл бұрын

Sounds more BPD. Narcs don't want to hear how you feel etc

@montrez922

Жыл бұрын

Sound like me lmao am I a narc

@mararamitchpeace

Жыл бұрын

@@montrez922 more than likely not. The 'never' and 'always' is the key word.... the absolutes! SMH When you do talk about anything with them, it turns into an argument, and everything is turned around to be either about them or a personal attack. You just get to the point where you say as little as possible to stay-off the war. 😮‍💨

@mararamitchpeace

Жыл бұрын

@@laabsenceofcol8079 of course they want to hear how you feel! They will attack you with it later 😉😈

When all you want is to ask something about them and they say to you, " I don't want to argue ! " To cut you off and shut you down ! An argument is the last thing you need . It is SOUL DESTROYING !!!

I couldn’t believe how accurate this is. Especially the last one. My narcissist put me through hell for over 30 years with his drinking, drugging, infidelity and other behaviors. When an issue lead me to saying something about the hurt and anguish it caused me and our children, he said “why cant you just get over it. Im trying to put that all behind me but you wont let me”. He didn’t want to accept responsibility for his behavior or the pain our family had experienced. He tried to make it my fault for not allowing us to move forward. Narcissists can be very cruel individuals.

Danish is spot-on! He really knows what he is talking about. Thank you

We would have an argument and his favorite saying was...Now can we just be done with it and move on? We hadn't even talked about it or I didn't get to say how I felt.

He mentioned his ex wife in every conversation. When I finally had enough and said some thing, he said "you obviously are jealous of her, you don't understand that I spent my whole life with her, I don't bring her up - you make me bring her up". Yup.

@gogosylvia293

Жыл бұрын

My narcissist followed his ex-girlfriend of ten years outside a bar where I was working to smoke her weed. Later said he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of refusing her offer. Then he came back in with her. Then he left for the evening, right on her heels. Everyone in the bar assumed he was stepping out on me, right in front of me. I don't know if anything happened between the two of them, he insists nothing did. But he blamed HER for making trouble in our relationship that night, saying I bought into her manipulations. When I called him on it, saying he needed to accept responsibility for his actions, for being disrespectful to me, and for giving her hope, he said I was the most jealous woman he'd ever met. I'm probably the least jealous, but who's keeping track.

@janetvanzyl6411

Жыл бұрын

Oh and how he ‘entertained’ me with his previous relationships. All ended quite dramatically, but never his fault. I knew ours would end the same way. He would also treat me the same as he treated them. And when I told him I don’t like this force feeding about previous relationships, he just said ‘forget about it…😳

@JH-td4mn

6 ай бұрын

I experienced that too, every date he spoke about ex girlfriends - as far back as secondary school. He would boast about how promiscuous he used to be, just to make sure I felt like the latest notch on his bedpost. Vile!

Not being able to finish your sentences is definitely a way the narcissist controls the conversation. Sometimes out of exasperation I say, "can you let me finish?" When he first said a narcissist does this I asked, oh wait am I the narcissist? Thanks for clarifying at the end.

With the first one, I think its the other way around, they never let you finish what you are saying without interrupting, like what they have got to say is much more important.

The more direct, clear and articulate I was about my needs and concerns in our relationship, the more he told me, "You are a manipulative game player".

One of my narcissists would say ‘but I give you so much/do so much for you’

@gailmazzotta6187

Жыл бұрын

Yes, they give you what they choose to give you, but never what you ask for or need.

I was told to let him "finish a sentence" the same one he was repeating in different ways for hours. Being interrupted over and over, then being told I was "just being dramatic and acting crazy" when I finally broke down and cried in the dogs bed (happened) or got so angry I lost myself to rage. He was smiling 🥲.

@moodycrab77

Жыл бұрын

@@x4147 much love to you bro, hope you are safe and well as can be. The best we can do is live with kindness of heart to all, including ourselves. If being with someone makes us act in a wrong way, that is not the intended person for us. I will always want the best for him, I think he wants me to "burn" , it's sad to be so angry. I own no-one and no-one owns me. Love is a Gift not an obligation.

@dalialovesdoggies4361

Жыл бұрын

Always sssss. Lol

@gogosylvia293

Жыл бұрын

Oh geez, that's my experience, verbatim, even the dog's bed!! Not kidding! But by the time I got angry he would finally shut up, sit back and watch with his arms crossed, then tell me very calmly to calm down. Thank god for my dog.

@caramelapple4053

Жыл бұрын

@@gogosylvia293 Always calm down, after they caused the whole dramatic scene. I’ve started stonewalling. I made a decision to not show an ounce of emotion no matter what happens. I’ve found this confusing to him and funny to me. It’s the one way I keep power over the situation until I can bring myself to walk away.

@lucyt-c8092

Жыл бұрын

@@gogosylvia293 I hope your dog is not in danger from narc ?( I am also a dog person )…and you as well ?

"Why do you always bring up the past?" "No, YOU did that." "I don't remember that." "No one else would do that, say that, think that, act that way." "I was joking."

“You’re a liar” when it’s him who just lied, “you’re just rambling” when trying to communicate feelings, “I’m you husband, we are one” (only applies to his choices) I’m so over it. Stuck in this marriage 20+ years.

@susansherlock6934

Жыл бұрын

Well done for getting out. I was with mine for 26 years,there were red flags early on, but I didn't have the boundaries I have today, I am 60 next September and I started setting boundaries in my mid fifties after attending 33 domestic abuse counselling sessions. Better late than never I suppose! 😊

@sajor1847

Жыл бұрын

It was 24 for me and it was the exact same for me. It's amazing how theses people say and do the very same things!

@sajor1847

Жыл бұрын

@@susansherlock6934 I am 65 almost 66. You're right .I'm so grateful I didn't die in the fog.

@Darkguardian823

Жыл бұрын

Any advice? I’m 32 and its taken me 13 years to start seeing the signs. I feel like I’m going crazy. He is insanely intelligent and always knows exactly how to negate my points.

@sajor1847

Жыл бұрын

@@Darkguardian823 I was married for 24 years to a covert narcissist. They are not as intelligent as they would have you to believe. Everything about them is a lie. Trust me he is not more intelligent than you give yourself credit for. Don't respond with alot of energy ( gray rock) if possible don't respond at all. Whatever you do don't go back and forth with that person or you will lose. Last but not least get out as soon as you can!

I was told "I am reacting to you and your attitudes" "you take away my peace " "you are overreacting, and emotional "

@Leslie87

Жыл бұрын

I heard that too

I'm so glad I watched this. I have had my words and intentions turned around for so long that I was questioning whether I was in fact the narcissist! Thank you!!!

@zulftreerain8991

Жыл бұрын

Same shit, ufff, the other day my husband sent me shirt video about how narcissists use Silence treatment technique to punish the victim. And he was openly saying that I am a narcissist here because I stopped communicating with him since last month. You see? He wanted me to start doubting who is the real evil and wrong one. But luckily his tricks never work anymore with me, I am cold and able to really see him

@cindysmith1700

Жыл бұрын

I am sure I am the narcissist

@dya1990

11 ай бұрын

yep. a narcissist would do that to you...:/:(

Spot on. Do they all attend a convention or something on how to speak this way😆?? Seriously I would be in marriage counseling and he would be yelling at me, interrupting me, and not letting me speak my truth. After four months of it (along with being told that I was the problem), I walked out of therapy and never went back with him. I realized it was fruitless and only ended in heartache each week. And now we are divorcing!

@ellesyncronicious969

Жыл бұрын

Congrats 👏 now throw a party and do everything he told you not to! That's what I've been doing lol 😆 not a divorce but wow narcs are all the same in certain very specific ways. I think an exorcism should be part of their therapy!

@Ms_JOA

Жыл бұрын

@@ellesyncronicious969 I had a party last night with all my girlfriends he never liked!!! We had the best time 😁

@ri3845

Жыл бұрын

It's because they are all possessed by the same demonic spirit.

@Wakka144

Жыл бұрын

Going to counseling or therapy with a narcissist is never a good idea, especially if the therapist is not very well trained or versed in their manipulative behavior. You will always come out on the losing end and be convinced it is all your fault.

@conniec7650

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations! Wishing you all the best things in life! 🪷

WOW! I used to think my x was someone with narcissistic traits, but now after watching a couple of your videos I realize he is a text book narcissist! I'm so grateful to be out of that mess!!!

@adbernhardt1700

Жыл бұрын

Congratiulations Nic. I hope you will find someone who love you for who you are. It make's life a lot easyer. 👍✌🌼🍀🎶💜🤍

So true each statement … my ex-husband would follow me around the house and tenaciously bully me about one thing or another … after he became physically abusive I got a protection order… and never looked back… it was the best thing I ever did for myself and my children … to this day he’s feels he is the victim …. and he has never been successful in a relationship …

@oscarwilliamson1128

Жыл бұрын

Kitty Blue,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist…..

"Why can't you just be happy??" When he was constantly raging about one thing after another... I am so glad I left!!! Great video!

@nancyk7954

Жыл бұрын

It's just going to keep getting better now that you've said "enough".

@littlelambs7044

Жыл бұрын

... and DON'T look back!!! For the sake of your mental health and well being!!! You did the right thing Kari!!

@ceasarwright7567

Жыл бұрын

Why do you always bring up the past

@karishort1891

Жыл бұрын

@@littlelambs7044 life is better without a raging narcissist ❤️

@MaryGouge

Жыл бұрын

proud of you!

Omg.. this is crazy! My husband repeatedly says all of these things on a daily basis!

I was called everything but my name and he blamed me for how he was treating me. He refused to ever take accountability, since everything was my fault, in his eyes. I never knew what narcissist and narcissist abuse was. But, he was a great teacher and I learned first hand exactly what narcissist and narcissist abuse was all about. Thank God I'm out of that nightmare narcissistic situation. He stalked me too, once I left for good which was in 2013. He used religion a lot, to hide behind. He had so many masks. He is as fake as a $3 dollar bill!

@pamelaminor696

Жыл бұрын

Some think they are very spiritual & of course better than you!!

I use to think I was crazy. Your video confirmed everything for me. I hear those same exact words every single day and they sound like your interpretation to me. Thank you for the confirmation.

“Being a little sensitive aren’t you!?” That’s a classic from them.

The main one I’ve heard is “our problem is that you don’t communicate”. I say listening is part of communication,too,but that goes in one ear and out the other because narcs never listen.

@frugalfitness2896

Жыл бұрын

Except for when you tell them something they can use against you. Then they're all ears!

@dalialovesdoggies4361

Жыл бұрын

HILARIOUS

@dyoung2739

Жыл бұрын

@@dalialovesdoggies4361 🙂

@goesfarfliesnear1447

Жыл бұрын

Let me translate that for you: "You don't communicate in the way I want but I can't communicate well enough to tell you that so it's your fault." I've found that you can learn a LOT by just listening and watching people and noticing the patterns of behavior. Some people are just...fun...to watch. Most of them are in my family but hey, I'm not here to brag. Cheers!

@laureencls8414

Жыл бұрын

@@frugalfitness2896 so true💯

Damn, dude, you hit the nail on the head here. Very well done, great work in translating this monstrous behavior. Only those who have grown up under this abuse know this like we do right now. Keep up the terrific work, brother!👌

I heard: You changed You make me feel bad about myself Your feelings are wrong I’m big city, you came from a small town so I am right You think you’re perfect You think your family is perfect There’s more,but these are the basics. No conversation ever went anywhere. Circles. Then rage if he felt he was losing... (Great channel!)

Mayflower said it perfectly. I have been married for almost 34 years and my husband has used these exact statements on me. Every time I ask a question I get "why are bringing this up" "I don't remember this" It's all in your head" your making this up" I don't understand why you question me" I just recently started listening to this channel because I needed answers to why I feel so crazy and confused, then I feel bad for feeling this way. This channel has been an eye opener for me!!! Thank you so much!

Sometimes when we’re having conversation, we make interjections, exclamations, or ask questions, or paraphrase what the other person is saying because we TRULY are interested in what they are saying, and to encourage the conversation, but whenever I would nod in agreement, or interject a short comment with my narc mother, she would say: “Don’t interrupt me! When you interrupt me, you make me lose my train of thought.” But I can’t believe that this was true in every case. I felt she was being very controlling. Thank you for making this line the first on your list!

After trying to explain how something made me feel, how it was not right, unfair, or down right disrespectful, his favourite sentence was "I don't understand"

Yes that first one! Whenever we would have conversation, we would have normal casual conversation, talking over each other and finishing sentences to share our opinions. He was fine for this type of talk normally. This is normal. Laughing cutting in to agree or point out something all good. Friendly. Fun. Buuut, if I was trying to express deeper emotion, especially when it had to do with his treatment of me and how it made me fee, suddenly, now I must remain completely silent and let him speak. I quickly learned that he didn’t actually care to hear me, so he would try to spin his gaslighting word salads, and I couldn’t interject or he would threaten to end the conversation because I “wouldn’t let him speak”. They are all clowns.

@funkycoldmedina1207

Жыл бұрын

Word salad one of my favorites when my Nex would do this I caught on the conversation would go no where. When she lives with me I would ignore her walk into the kitchen silent ly grab a large bowl and tongs and sit at the table. After about 10 mins of her ranting. She would ask why are sitting with a big empty bowl and tongs? I'd say I figured since your making a salad out of words you might as well share so Im waiting for you to share. Booyah! She'd storm out, I win!

@VikingSpirit942

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely 100% correct.. try to get a word in edgeways after an hour of word salad or take your turn to describe your day and you are accused of not listening or being controlling- you can never win💁‍♀️

@SuperGingerBickies

Жыл бұрын

@@funkycoldmedina1207 Well done! That is brilliant.

@ChristianSoldier71

Жыл бұрын

ATTENTION!!! If you died today , where will you go, Heaven or Hell? We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus loves you and He died for your sins. Repent and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Once you die, it will be too late to repent. Mark 1:15 For the Kingdom of God is at hand, repent and believe in the gospel...

"you never forgive! you hold grudges forever!"

@JesusIsLife298

Жыл бұрын

Yes! Since healing I realized i am extremely forgiving maybe even to a fault. The brain fog can be dense. What i am realizing is most everything I am is opposite of what he accused me of. Evil is part of who they are unfortunately.

@moonchild-thirty-thr33

Жыл бұрын

@@JesusIsLife298 right there with you. It's not you it's them.

@13576230

Жыл бұрын

Omg. I heard that word for word.

@ChristianSoldier71

Жыл бұрын

ATTENTION!!! If you died today , where will you go, Heaven or Hell? We can not hide our sins from God. Jesus loves you and He died for your sins. Repent and put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Once you die, it will be too late to repent. Mark 1:15 For the Kingdom of God is at hand, repent and believe in the gospel...

He told me, " You're overly emotional. Your emotions won't let you stop over-analyzing". Some months later, that was 1 of the things he cited, in breaking up, in that "we didn't communicate well".

I was told that I didn't have faith in him whenever he didn't have his way. I was supporting our family while he refused to work.

In order to avoid responsibility for her actions, my narc mom would say "Well, I live in a world of my own". Her way of saying no one else matters and she makes all the rules. I eventually said to her "Mom there is only ONE world and you are sharing it with 8 billion other people. You're not that special". Needless to say I was disinherited, but I won in the end with a court settlement.

@pjmrees

Жыл бұрын

Wow, before I even knew about narcissism I would tell him he lives in his own world because it made no sense and I wasn't allowed in it unless I doing something he wanted.

@l.5832

Жыл бұрын

@@pjmrees That's exactly how they operate. Once you know that, you can spot it quite easily. Notice those who, at work, kiss up to the narc boss and who the narc boss rewards. Hint: It's not the ones who are doing their actual job the best!

@SkyePhoenix

Жыл бұрын

@@l.5832 I'm going through this right now at work, unfortunately. I've been going through it for a long time, actually. It's only recently that I discovered that all of the women in my office seem to have it in for me, because I don't want to be part of their clique. I don't suck up to the boss, or anyone else. I don't belong there. I don't fit in with their "culture" and I don't like what I do for a living. It doesn't pay very well, either. I know it's time for a change... but I don't know what to do. Being in a toxic work environment is very draining and it's hard to look for another job when it takes everything out of you just to keep the job you have.

@angelategos7217

Жыл бұрын

good for you. i know that my mother will try and screw me out of my inheritance but i'll be damned after a lifetime of her obsessive cheapness. she was and is THE WORST MISER!! she had my dad working up north for 22 years and we never spent any holidays with him, only 2 weeks in the summer. she was so greedy but never enjoyed the money, only hoarded it in the bank. i've always said that if my mother was forced to pick between one of her kids dying and a thousand bucks IT WOULD HONESTLY be very difficult for her but she'd pick her kid. now 10,000 and over would be a very tough decision for her and i am not even joking tight now. she set up our house to be robbed (she denies it but i have proof) when my sister and i were teens and she tried to blame it on our friends. horrific.all for the money, money, money, money!!!!!! she was and is the most miserable human being to the point where i thought she was demon possessed at times. vile, nasty person. i stopped loving her a long time ago, so intense was the abuse and my subsequent ptsd. i suffered for a long time and got addicted to painpills because of the severe migraines i've been getting since the age of 5. luckily, i found my peace away from her and went through years of healing. that's what i wish FOR ALL OF YOU GUYS DEALING WITH THESE TYPES!! healing and peace.

@RaggaStyle89

Жыл бұрын

@@angelategos7217 O wow, I got some clarity here while reading your comment. So my ex is a narcisst but now I'm pretty sure I know where it started - he's poisonous mother, I remember him saying exact same thing that he was convinced of while being just a child - he was sure that he's mother is a demon or even Satan. All he could hear during his young years was that he's not good enough and that he will never be able to achieve anything in life. He became pretty much the same, starting with lies as his way to cope with things I guess and becoming more and more toxic over years. Not trying to justify him but I like getting to the core of a problem as I believe understanding is always important.

The ones I heard most growing up were: "Who do you think you are?" and "Nothing makes you happy!" Here's who I am: an intelligent, kind, strong woman. Deal with it. Nothing makes me happy? Are you talking to yourself out loud? Your silence makes me ecstatic. Thanks, mom.

@Wasp239

Жыл бұрын

Yes, it's her. Myne said that nobody loved me.

Danish, you are so on point, and 100% accurate. I have experienced all 5 of these most common used phrases. He was always projecting his faults onto me vs taking responsibility. Everything was always my fault in his eyes. And let's not forget about all the flying monkeys and the smear campaign! The narcissist always plays the "victim" and paints you out as some horrible human being. I love your KZread channel/videos! I watch them daily!

He would say “yeah, I’m such a piece of shit...” anytime I tried to bring up a problem I was having in the relationship. I never said that at all- but ok. 👌🏻

@isobel2323

Жыл бұрын

Yes, that sentence repeated is like a brick wall, so isolating. So good to be free of them, eh?!

@RaggaStyle89

Жыл бұрын

I've heard the same a lot, cutting down the conversation with exact same words, saying that he's just 'a piece of shit'

You are so amazingly good at what you do Danish. I love how you break everything down and how clear and confident you are. Yep, they are cookie cutter in their behavior. I'm 100% out of my relationship, it's getting close to a year. But, I still think it's important to listen in on narcissistic behavioral patterns because I never knew or understood what a narcissist was until that relationship. And he is text book narc. To a tee. I was so perplexed how he'd just disappear and we weren't even fighting (yep, they're never alone, as you've said, there's always others). I'm independent by nature and that had to frustrate him. Good. I'm pretty sure I've spent much of my life attracting narcissistic people into my life. At least now I'm seeing it and starting to understand it. Now I want to repel them. I want them to run from me within 5 min's of first speaking with me.

It's videos and comments like these that help me accept that it's not just me. I go to post a comment about my experience but then I second guess myself "Am I over reacting?" "Am I being too sensitive?" "Am I making things up?" But I see these comments, the phrases.... They're what he would preach.

My ex would gaslight me. When he denied what I said, asked for or a date or time I gave him he would use this as a chance to rant and end with,‘it’s right what they say about the Irish’. I’m an educated, intelligent,empathetic female. I left him over 20 years ago, when my mother pointed out his narcissistic behaviour. Took a long while to get my life back in order. Can be done.thank you Danish

"oh, that was a long time ago" or "Just get over it". "You are so negative.". And "I never new what dour was until I met you." love you too, mom

I’ve heard “don’t take it so personally “ after being berated and mercilessly put down ; and “anyone can do that” no matter how impressed everyone else was.

@emilykathleenn

9 ай бұрын

That's evil, hope you left him /her

'Why can't you forget it and move on?' Is basically what my brother said to me when I very gently, softly and caringly told him about all the hurt and pain I was in from his behaviour in the past. I was very careful not to say 'you hurt me' or 'you did this to me or that to me' because I knew it would hurt him on he would get very aggressive and go on the attack. 'This is taking me back to our traumatic past of our childhood (we had a traumatic childhood) and you are taking me back there and I just want to forget it. You should think more positively and not be so negative. I don't bring up all the things you did to me (which was nothing).' This was his reaction to me. I don't know how this will end but I'm trying my best to have an amicable ending even if it ends in us having no contact but I had to approach him about his behaviour because the pain I was in was eating me alive like a tumour or cancer. Hopefully it will end well. I don't know if my brother is a narcissist but he definitely has some of the traits.

@SkyePhoenix

Жыл бұрын

My mother is fond of saying "You need to get over it." It's funny how she never gets over anything.

"That's not how it happened, you remember it wrong, I should write it down next time" "Really? I never said that!" "You're ALWAYS ARGUING with me!" - when I literally argued with him like 3 times in 10 years because I'm the most laid back person ever lol And my favorites: "Now you're talking like your mother!" "You're arguing like your mother" - started saying it after I foolishly told him my biggest fear "growing up" is being a hateful witch like my narcissist mother. "Why do you always have to tell me how to do things" - during a tantrum after CASUALLY ASKING him to not use toilet tablets because I read it corrodes the plumbing. I don't care what he says though. The biggest problem that I realized all those years I was grateful because he "supported" me when I was a nerve wreck and had agoraphobia and couldn't work, at all my failed attempts to get a job he was there to tell me it will not work and I'm ill and not enough and I don't have to do that... I just cowered at home being paranoid with panic attacks and depression every day and he never got me professional help. The instant I got up and got my shit together on my own he left me because he just used me as a freaking maid and he literally manipulated me into being mentally ill. That's such an archievement even my mother couldn't reach in 20 years despite all her efforts. Narcissists are dangerous. Now I'm almost okay but I still avoid every person who slightly raises any red flag and it's getting out of hand at my workplace really.

This guy is brilliant. He gets it. He can’t help me but he makes me feel better.

@lucyt-c8092

Жыл бұрын

he IS helping you ! By making you feel better! ( makes you stronger and your situation clearer )

@mariagordanier3404

Жыл бұрын

He can help you. Identifying the problem is the first step! Keep reading!

I’m surrounded by narcs. It’s like I’m a narc magnet. My most-recent ex used all of the five phrases.

@gailmazzotta6187

Жыл бұрын

That's because we really try to love people, understand them and never hurt them. I am also a narc,con artist magnet.

I’m not allowed to question anything my hubby does. Everything is always someone else’s fault, not his. And then it becomes my fault for some reason. I dare not to cry in front of him all.

@cara3204

Жыл бұрын

I hear you.

I hear this all the time, "I'm trying to make things right."

The narcissist that I was with and who is now out of my life, has said some of the most awful things to me and about me that no one else in my life ever said. I kept letting it slide because I just could not really believe it and then later even the next day after saying these things he would tell me he said that because I made him angry. They don't understand love not in the way regular people do. You would never say those things to someone that you truly love. By the way I love the way you pronounce narcissists. And you are spot-on about everything

When I brought up a valid point with my roommate about how them not doing any of the chores was a little unfair, they brought up a conversation we had and spun it around in a huge way, none of what they said happened, and when confronted about the lies was told that ‘you must be forgetful, those are the facts, thats what you said, theres no denying it’ - moving out in a little more than a month 🎉

My husband of 35 years (now ex) would tell me all the terrible things about me but then declare his love for me. It took me at least 20 years to be able to say "You can't have it both ways, which one am I, the crazy witch or the love of your life?". It still took another 15 years before I had the courage to escape his clutches.

Its so true.Narcissists are such great actors.They always manipulate you and no matters what happens u have to say sorry to them at the end.Because it is what they always crave for

I really want to thank you for your videos. I’ve been through narcissistic abuse and I am healthy now thanks to videos like you and others post. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It not only helps me but my friends and family as well. Everything you say is spot on.

Bells ring for my past abusive narc partner. I’m on hyper vigilance when meeting new people.

I LOVE your channel...All my 5 SIBLINGS and both my parents were NARCISSISTS ....So I could write a book on NARCISSISM... Everything you say makes perfect sense to me.....I have moved on with my life but I still have bad days at times...How can you not?.....

My husband told me: you don't have to think, you just have to listen to me. My sister told me that I'm too sensitive

@conniec7650

Жыл бұрын

Your sis is what is called a flying monkey.

That first one isn’t just narcissists though. It’s also those of us who had our feelings/personalities/passions constantly constantly suppressed by narcissist parents and now get triggered by not being heard by our peers/loved ones. I struggle with that so bad when it comes to people I love not “hearing” me when I voice my feelings.

@emustaro

Жыл бұрын

Are you sure they love you, though? That's the hard part, loving someone, and you want to believe so bad they love you back, but they really don't. It's our own cognitive dissonance. Loving someone is having regard for someone, acknowledging the others' feelings and truly caring. Take heed not to confuse someone being just interested in you with someone who really loves you. It's a hard, hard pill to swallow.

How about…. Let’s go do something as a family? Narc-we have no money. Let’s go to the park (literally down the street) narc-that costs money. It’s down the street. Narc-why would I do something I don’t enjoy? Talk about feeling deflated. He will not do it for me or his daughters. It must be nice to be the center of your own universe!

@peggyeldridge4827

Жыл бұрын

Mine told me he would rather work all weekend than go out with me. Biggest buzz kill I ever knew. Work is his fun.

@judywright4241

Жыл бұрын

@@peggyeldridge4827 --Hubby told me that on a vacation with our two sons. He was picking out gifts for people AT WORK. When I called him on being present with us, I got that exact line thrown at me.

This is amazing. Like you have known him in person. His never ending requests to "forget and move on". Yeah - they want their damaging and hurtful behavior to be overlooked every day so they can start every day like nothing happened and hurt you again and again in the same way.

Usually, I was met with the ‘deer caught in headlights’ look on their face whenever I’d raise an issue. They never outright said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Instead, it was crickets. Dead ass silence, which, in turn, forced me to doubt myself and believe I was the problem. As you stated, they were an expert at getting others to believe they were unfazed by anything. I was in therapy heavily during that relationship because for the life of me, I could never figure out why they (and everyone else around us) seemed to navigate life so ‘easily’ and I always felt isolated in my own thoughts and feelings. I was always expected to just suck it up and forget about it. I found myself apologizing way too often for living my own damn truth. They would always ‘jokingly’ call me crazy. ‘“Yeah, I know you have a temper. I know you want to lash out, I know you’d see red when blah blah blah” even when I was literally on zero out of 10. It’s like they WANTED to see the worst in me, so that whenever I became legitimately upset, they could say ‘see, I told you so’. Then, the cycle would repeat itself. Half of the time I actually questioned whether or not I was in fact ‘crazy’. It turns out I was just in the wrong company. I wasn’t crazy, I had Standards, yet I was consistently made to feel bad for having them.

Wow. This is painfully true. Thanks 😊

Deflection - He accuses me of the very thing he does himself. Ie - you don’t listen, you heard me wrong, you don’t understand me etc

He said “I didn’t hurt your feelings, you’re fine” while I’m crying in front of him.

@JH-td4mn

6 ай бұрын

They are heartless, hope you're happier without them 🤗

The hardest part for me in dealing with this kind of abusive, gaslighting language is knowing how to distinguish when those questions are said with ill intent and when they are neutral. I bounce back and forth between always blaming myself or distrusting anyone who uses that language. So often when you confront abusive laguage, the abuser will fall back on, "Why are you getting upset? All I said was . . . . " and then repeats the abusive question that could be innocuous in other circumstances. Usually if I take time to think it through afterwards, I can figure it out, but in the moment I don't always know the appropriate way to respond.

This by far is one of the best topics I’ve read. I’m 10 months out a narcissistic relationship, and I’m struggling to figure out how it happened. These phrases would make me feel guilty and it was used against me. Thank you for this video!

My narc was angry because he saw that I had friends that actually valued me, he couldn't stand seeing me thrive, it was as if I didn't deserve it. When I told him off once, this convo came up : Narc: "I'm sorry for going apeshit on you." Lenny: "Oh again? You're probably just going to "go apeshit" on me again, so what's the value of your "sorry" at this point?" Narc: "You're so ungrateful, I've done so much for you, yet, you only want more, are you ever satisfied? I'm speechless." Lenny: "You're speechless, that's great. I want only one thing from you now, that's for you to just leave me alone without talking to nor about me ever again, I'm tired of your excuses for "going apeshit" all the time and after saying sorry, you do that again and again. Just leave." Then I left him, not even giving a donkey's behind on what he was about to reply. I bet he is still sitting there, cursing, after 6 long years. I on the other hand feel free after doing this. I also feel that videos that educate people about this kind of people are gold, because not all people out there are aware of how much damage a narc can do on you.

The first “weird” fight we had I was told the next day “people fight” as an excuse should have ran then. I knew it wasn’t a “normal” fight.

"I'm just kidding! Why are you so sensitive?" "That's not the way I remember it happening." "I tell everyone that you are on drugs, because that's the only way you are able to spend so much time on your own."

Four out of five in my current relationship. This is an eye-opening video.

@RaggaStyle89

Жыл бұрын

Run away from him as far as you can, it'll get worse and worse over the time.

@conniec7650

Жыл бұрын

@@RaggaStyle89 Yes it will! It never gets better!

I was asked a question and as I was answering, he interrupted me and started talking about something else. I called him out on what he just did and just walked away to my own room. I am married to IT and sleep in my own room.

@cheryldellamano3374

Жыл бұрын

I was laying on my bed reading, in my own room, and mi e came in and said "How dare you be so content!" When I didn't answer, he said "Just kidding." They hate us being happy.

His ability to go Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde when I was not doing what he wanted me to- just crazy his ability to change moods so quickly.

"You always... " and "You never... " a blame-shifting and avoidance tactic commonly used when you start pushing back against the narcissist.

1. Can you just let it go? (After a massive fight and a lot of things said to me) 2. Its all in your head (if you question fishy things and behaviour) 3. I know you deserve better. I promise I will make up for it. (In a fight) 4. I love you more than anyone can ever love anyone. (Every day often with teary eyes) 5. I don't like fights, conflicts, I feel suffocated. (If I asked him anything) 6. I'm not accountable to you and owe you anything (in a small fight) 7. Let's end this (on every smallest thing) 8. I don't love you anymore (and the next day he'd say I didn't mean it) 9. If asked who's important me or another woman who is just a friend in his life - he wanted to end things instead of taking my name. 10. I can't live without you and without staying in touch with you (and then suddenly he started disappearing on me for days like 10 days or more with no contact at all and when asked he'd lash out and say "what's the big deal, not the end of the world") 11. He ended it by saying its over and just left with no explanation and then ghosted me. 12. You're so emotional, get over it. 13. You're negative. 14. Noone can ever love you as much as I do. 15. You're crazy. 16. I didn't say that. I don't remember it. 17. Always threatening to end the call, walk out or ending relationship. 18. A simple question asked and they'd say 'I don't want to argue' and would want to leave. 19. Grow up.

I was told "it's to hard to be honest with you because your reactions are unpredictable" this always came after I question somthing that made 0 logical sense

Danish, number 5 is spot on for me, every time there is a problem between us and I say something, he will become abusive and later whenever I am trying to bring up that problem and want to discuss with him, he says those exact words! He never wants to talk and find a solution instead he his ready to start another fight and become abusive again. So I keep quiet! Thank you so much for making me understand the exact meaning of those words 😮 I am becoming sure of my decision day by day by understanding him from his core.