"Space book say this bad." - Shitbucket

@andriuspakulis2948

4 жыл бұрын

"And this and that also this. Wait, does our primarch name was Lorgar?" Shitbucket

@lordfrostwind3151

4 жыл бұрын

“Well too bad I can't read!" -A Librarian

@xgraharax

4 жыл бұрын

no -book

@jonahtexhex2835

4 жыл бұрын

As Shitbucket learns flight without jetpack by the Grey Knights..

@fritzvoss5263

4 жыл бұрын

"cool smurfs dont play by the book" -uriel ventris probaply titus too

"It was okay." - Rogal Dorn

@KiriaOneWinged

4 жыл бұрын

5/10

@bloodlove93

4 жыл бұрын

1/10 would wipe my ass with it again

@bloodlove93

4 жыл бұрын

@William Smith I mean... In one way or another literally all the primarchs kinda derped out.

@MrLolguy93

4 жыл бұрын

@@bloodlove93 some more than others

@VioletDeathRei

4 жыл бұрын

@@bloodlove93 This isn't the imperial Infantryman's uplifting primer guardsmen. It's Roboute Guilliman's work, you will show it the respect it deserves and wipe someone else's butt with it!

Ultramarine: "Follow the Codex!" Black Templar: "To long, did not read!" Space Wolf "Wait you guys can read?"

@evanlight2550

3 жыл бұрын

Ork Boyz: what’s a book?

@erikrungemadsen2081

3 жыл бұрын

@@evanlight2550 Bookz Iz for the cunning, when Ya put on Ya best tinkin hat and brings ya tinking grotz to ta thinking stone. Wen ya done eatin an stomping, an throwing ya tinking grotz of da cliff. It bring on tha cunning an nowz Ya ready for da bookz, wen ya done finding great way of crumping an stomping da beakies ya take a book, an wipe ya backside wit ith.

@MrKago1

2 жыл бұрын

Emperor's Children: all our books have the pages stuck together. Thousand Sons sorcerer: You degenerate mutha f-- *flesh change* _Tzeetch laughing hysterically in the distance_

@TheIronbuster

2 жыл бұрын

Pfff hehehe that got me good xF

@PrimarisBlackTemplaDraven

Жыл бұрын

Also Black Templars:" best toilet paper"

*Adeptus Astartes after the Codex:* "I feel thin, sort of stretched... like... butter spread over too much bread..."

@jacobduty28

4 жыл бұрын

Highly underrated comment.

@LoveThisRealWoman

4 жыл бұрын

Son of Angron Longman bless you.

@juusovuolle8251

4 жыл бұрын

oh a lotr quote you can have my upvote good man

@Le-cp9tr

4 жыл бұрын

I am one with the EFAP, the EFAP is one with me

@raamaa202

4 жыл бұрын

Random Astartes -- _What is butter?_ . Another Random Astartes -- *Brother, I am pinned here!!*

Guilliman: Now remember, these are suggestions NOT law!! Shitbag: These are laws not suggestions. Got it.

@NewGuy2534

4 жыл бұрын

[Grumbles in Primarch]

@robertnelson9599

4 жыл бұрын

As said by the Mechanicus, "Innovation is sin."

@foxmcqwerty608

4 жыл бұрын

i think you meant shitbucket not shitbag.

@MrSphandor

4 жыл бұрын

@@foxmcqwerty608 nah shitbag is a valid term also sometimes "shitebag" sounds like shy-t bag 😊

@linkofvev

4 жыл бұрын

"The Codex Astartes are more what you'd call rules than guidelines" - Captain Barbossa of the Iron Hands legion.

*Ultramarine waves codex at Templar. *Templar looks at the book. Templar: "Cousin, my armor handles the management of my bodily waste. Why would you hand me this latrine parchment?"

@user-ro9zf9kz1h

3 жыл бұрын

What is the latrine parchment?

@CheemsofRegret

3 жыл бұрын

@@user-ro9zf9kz1h latrine = toilet Parchment = paper Latrine parchment = toilet paper

@user-ro9zf9kz1h

3 жыл бұрын

@@CheemsofRegret thanks

@EddyOfTheMaelstrom

Жыл бұрын

Der Codex Astartes ist ein bunche eh bullscheiße

@bradymenting5120

Жыл бұрын

Other Templar: "I like the weight of this melee weapon, but the reach is lacking."

Dark Angels and Imperial Fists: *uncomfortable whistling* Space Wolves: “take yer word holders and cram em up your arse!"

@randomcenturion7264

4 жыл бұрын

And that is why I love the Space Wolves.

@rifleman2c997

4 жыл бұрын

Guiliman *launches codexes at the strike cruiser*

@gokbay3057

4 жыл бұрын

It was more like Dark Angels: "sure looks good" Dark Angels, internally: "We will still keep the Legion command structure tho. But secretly. We will be able to hunt down the Fallen easier that way."

@ukaszbiaek6641

4 жыл бұрын

@@gokbay3057 lion time to wake up, your legion awaits

@nightlock826

4 жыл бұрын

Lemun russ actually fully supported this idea, and wanted to split his legion. Just well, consider their geneseed

Lorgar: "Guys! Guys! I wrote a book!" Guilliman: "My book is better and more popular." Lorgar: "..did.. did you even read my book?" Guilliman: "I don't need to read your book to know mine is better."

@MythosTheSophist

3 жыл бұрын

Magnus: I also wrote a book. * drops Emperor's Biography * I thought you may want a copy

@christophersmith8848

3 жыл бұрын

I don't know how, but you managed to make me feel bad for Lorgar. Just the idea of him having the wind taken so thoroughly out of his sails makes me feel bad

@roguepsykerhaaker4813

3 жыл бұрын

Leeman: I wrote several books on strategy! Everyone:... Leeman: OK, I dictated several books on strategy

@roguepsykerhaaker4813

3 жыл бұрын

Perturabo: I would've written a book but no one bothered to ask me *stomps off to be bitter somewhere else

@MasterOfTheBrood

3 жыл бұрын

Angron:*too busy screaming and smashing things to write a book*

The codex does support this action. "loads bolter with religious intent"

@jcornscorndog941

4 жыл бұрын

You beat me to it. Must be some warp heresy!!!

@supahhotgankeddankness3447

4 жыл бұрын

K go sukk on your false emperror

@MrJay_White

4 жыл бұрын

@@supahhotgankeddankness3447 my spine does not bend in such a manner.

@SgtPotShot

4 жыл бұрын

Space book say this bad!

"Its more like a set of guidelines then rules" guilleman upon returning

@MrLolguy93

4 жыл бұрын

Like that Pirates of the Carribean reference

@Vollification

4 жыл бұрын

Top Inquisator: "ALPHARIUS!"

@robertnelson9599

4 жыл бұрын

Let's see what Dorn has to say about that.

@ahmataevo

4 жыл бұрын

"No additional bolter rounds. No astropath that points to the Astronomicon. And I half-expected your sword to be made of wood. You are without a doubt the worst space marine I have ever heard of."

@tomjordan7606

4 жыл бұрын

@@ahmataevo ahh but you have heard of us.

The best selling book after *_Lectitio Divinitatus_* and *_The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer_* since M.32! "5/10 star, it was okay," by *_Rogal Dorn, one of the sons of the Emperor, Primarch of the Imperial Fist Astartes Legion,_* during the *_Triumph of Iron Cage!_* Written and editted by *Roboute Guilliman, the greatest son of the Emperor, Primarch of the Ultramarines Astartes Legion, Lord Commander of the Imperium himself!* Winner of the *_Imperial Pulitzer Award_* consecutively for 10 Millennia! Get your copies now, in your nearest bookshop, and win a complementary _Primarch Roboute Guilliman action figure_ for every purchase! Remember kids, _The Emperor Protects!_

@MyGuy18

4 жыл бұрын

How is this not a thousand yets?! *loads bolter* Its time to bring the word onto unbelievers!

@ZetaOmega1456Gamma

4 жыл бұрын

Leman Russ: so this is new toilet paper?

@MizantropMan

4 жыл бұрын

@@ZetaOmega1456Gamma Well, you do have to know how to read to use it.

@ZetaOmega1456Gamma

4 жыл бұрын

@@MizantropMan well Rowboat forgot the Runescribed Edition

@armstrong2052

4 жыл бұрын

Primarch Jesus Christ, you went *HAM*

Me: causally discusses why I don’t like the new book we’re reading in class Every other scout compliant to the codex: ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ

@Trapsarentgay133

4 жыл бұрын

Yes brother-chaplain this heretic right here

@dimwitsixtytwelve

4 жыл бұрын

You should just stop going to these classes they sound awful. I used to have to go to school but then I got old enough that I didn't have to.

@complex314i

4 жыл бұрын

1. Memorized and Compartmentalize the Codex 2. Gather data 3. Search the Memorized Codex So the physical abilities aren't OP enough, an Astartes has Mentat abilities too.

@stainliss2006

4 жыл бұрын

Bandai™

@kingnothing8570

3 жыл бұрын

@@complex314i too bad they filled those big brains with the unprecedented stupidity of that big blue waste of fucking resources

_"The Codex Astartes does not support this action!"_ _"I can't hear you over the sound of my chainsword!"_

@robertnelson9599

3 жыл бұрын

Why read when you can continue PUUURRRGGGING WIIITH MY KIIIINNNN!!!!

@mariuscatalin5982

3 жыл бұрын

most likely the codex has a solution for allies that want to go in mele

"Captain, the Codex Astartes does not..." Titus: "STFU Leandros and follow your orders! That's all you're good for apparently."

@danielpratt1970

4 жыл бұрын

*Shitbucket.

Ultrasmerf: it says we can't do that in the codex Space wolf: *WELL I CAN'T READ*

Imagining an enormous primarch sitting in front of a computer typing away amuses me for some reason.

@Niskirin

4 жыл бұрын

In full battle armor. Trying his damnest not to break the keyboard. And hit just one key at a press.

@notknightbean

4 жыл бұрын

Ibian666 “my primarch, you have called me? What do you request of me to aid in the upcoming battle for ultrimar” “Yes sgt tantilus, i have to ask you an important question. Out of all of the many table utensils, what is the most efficient to eat your rations?” “...th-the spork, me lord” *typetypetypetype* “thank you sgt, you may go now” All important information for the codex astarties.

@dwavenminer

4 жыл бұрын

@Cure4Living the codex Astartes would not approve of such an action, after all you might be suddenly be ambushed by the enemy.

@koenvandamme6901

4 жыл бұрын

Imagine he used a speech-to-text designed by the same people who made Big E's text-to-speech device. "WHY DOES IT KEEP ENTERING CO-DECKS ASS-TARTIES?!"

@EarFarce4

4 жыл бұрын

All the while sitting on a tiny fold up chair.

The Art of War: Extended Edition.

@Trisjack20

4 жыл бұрын

Love this!

@theenderdestruction2362

Жыл бұрын

You can't tell me that guilimen didn't read the art of war

"One should only innovate after developing a foundation rooted in doctrine" There is a saying in germany: "The master breaks the form" It's shorter and says the same :D

@hardgay7537

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, but if they're taking inspiration from where they get their accents from, then it stands to reason they'd use more words, not fewer.

@Venneroth

4 жыл бұрын

In America we say "You gotta learn the rules before you break 'em."

@DeHerg

4 жыл бұрын

In context that saying means something completely different. It's from a poem by Friedrich Schiller that describes the casting of a bell and the form in that example means the casting form that has to be dismantled carefully and at the right time(when the metal has cooled sufficiently) by someone with experience. The next lines in that poem actually show where he is is getting with that analogy: "Wo rohe Kräfte sinnlos walten, Da kann sich kein Gebild gestalten; Wenn sich die Völker selbst befrein, Da kann die Wohlfahrt nicht gedeihn." Translation: "Where raw power acts without reason, no structure can form; When people liberate themselves, prosperity cannot bloom" This poem was published in 1789, the same time as the french revolution. It's an appeal to keep monarchs in place because only they have experience(master) with statecraft(structure/bell).

@JPG.01

4 жыл бұрын

@@DeHerg Thank you, I did not know this. The teacher who taught me financial accounting used that saying to explain that we have to learn a form that was established around 700 years ago before we can even attempt at using shorthand. He never mentioned the context.

@DeHerg

4 жыл бұрын

@@JPG.01 So he was using a shorthand quote without context to tell you that you need context before using the shorthand, that's some nice irony. XD Fachabitur Wirtschaft?

You'll never take Ultramar, the whole subsector is covered in the strongest plot armour available.

@shawnm1902

4 жыл бұрын

Something something, *cough* Cadia *cough*, something something

@wolfblade40k89

4 жыл бұрын

Laughs in chaos cadia fell no need to lie to yourself

@GeorgeSoroshasenteredthechat

4 жыл бұрын

Was Cadia pre-wardian ? I'm so old iv'e forgotten already.

@maxrander0101

4 жыл бұрын

@@wolfblade40k89 yes you heretic it did as we say in the remaining Cadian Regiments the planet broke before the guard indeed many of us still stand tall against all that would threaten the imperium of man come at us and face the weight of our tanks alone for every one of us you kill ten more shall take their place

@S71xx

4 жыл бұрын

Plot armor is a shared finite resource.

“How to be a giant, fanatical, killing machine.” By Roboute Girlyman.

@VioletDeathRei

4 жыл бұрын

"And other ways to be an insufferable bureaucrat in the 40th millennium."

@michael5068

4 жыл бұрын

"A Zealot's Guide to the Galaxy"

@kerolsmorgan126

4 жыл бұрын

RawBooty GirlyMan *

@MrKago1

4 жыл бұрын

be wary the snake that thinks its a dragon, the quiet ones and the ones with harmless sounding names like Girlyman, Cato, Whor Fair-on, Konrad, Failbbadon the harmless or Lucy.

@muninrob

4 жыл бұрын

@@kerolsmorgan126 first time I heard that one, congrats.

The Codex Astartes: Basically a Space Marine's version of "The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer"

"Book Bad" - Imperial Fist Successor Chapters.

@Buzzy_Bland

4 жыл бұрын

Josh Doz I think the Hammers of Dorn would disagree with you.

@raamaa202

4 жыл бұрын

*Brother, I am pinned here!!*

@alessiocortez6520

3 жыл бұрын

Of course it is bad, brother. You cannot bludgeon Orks with it.

*Bible* : We are the worldwide bestseller! *Harry Potter* : Oh yeah? Hold my magic wand. *Blueberry Boy* : Quiet you two!

@sindrimyr5351

4 жыл бұрын

Lorgar:Amateurs

@suppportguyone7302

4 жыл бұрын

Greating we are Ultra Smerphs.

@OrDuneStudios

4 жыл бұрын

@@sindrimyr5351 Writer of the Uplifiting Primer. Amaturs.

@kingjonstarkgeryan8573

3 жыл бұрын

Actually the Holy Bible sold more than 5 billion copies and is the most widely translated book in all of human history

@stevevincent1881

2 жыл бұрын

@@kingjonstarkgeryan8573 Exactly. Hubris of this nature reminds me of The Beatles.

The fact the Black Templars werent mentioned is mildly upsetting since they only use it to balance tables.

@phreakazoith2237

4 жыл бұрын

C'mon, the Codex is a book of a million good uses. Balancing tables, smacking traitors in the face, killing flies, cheap firewood, paper for Lho sticks

Ultramarines: But Codex Astartes... Black Templar: We call that book Cockdex Asstartes, cousin.

@clothar23

4 жыл бұрын

Can verify, we even occasionally use it as ass wipe.

@theblancmange1265

4 жыл бұрын

@@clothar23 Ah, that chapter daily routone from 1d4chan.

@stormsurge2103

4 жыл бұрын

@@theblancmange1265 Brother, I must shitpost!

@heliveruscalion9124

4 жыл бұрын

Ultramarine: B-But the Codex Astartes does not support this action! Dark Angels: WELL I CAN'T READ!

@viyhexe131

4 жыл бұрын

Black Templars: You smurf boys have an odd way of saying "toilet paper"

Legends say that when Dorne refused to accept the codex, Guilliman had the Imperial Navy bombard Dorne’s strike cruiser with thousands of copies of the Codex Astartes

But your teachings…’ ‘Are yet flawed,’ said Guilliman. ‘No one, not even one such as I, can anticipate every possible outcome of battle. My words are not some holy writ that must be obeyed. There must always be room for personal initiative on the battlefield. You and I both know how one spark of heroism can turn the tide of battle. That knowledge and personal experience can only be earned in blood, and the leader in the field must always be the ultimate arbiter of what course of action should be followed.’

@Trisjack20

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed. Having a unified agreed way of working is key but RG understood that freedom of initiative and changes made with understanding would be the key to the success of the CA.

@guy_autordie

4 жыл бұрын

Should be print in the first page.

@dean_l33

3 жыл бұрын

@@guy_autordie yes

@jacthing1

3 жыл бұрын

@@guy_autordie He did but now it looks strangely like a bar code for some reason?

Excerpt from Codex Astartes page 438817: In the event of lack of toilet paper, pages from the codex Astartes maybe used as a substitute if there is no suitable imperial citizen to act as a replacement. However, when using the codex Astartes in such a fashion, prime numbered pages must be used first, and you must wipe from left to right, except if the page number has a six(6) in it, in which case it must be done from top right to bottom left.

@phreakazoith2237

4 жыл бұрын

don't Astartes have serfs for these minor tasks?

@TheRealMarneusCalgar

Жыл бұрын

I do not appreciate this jest.

Then the Dark Angels arrived... Then the *Blood* Angels arrived... THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED...

@BIGBOSS-bu1jt

4 жыл бұрын

COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN SIDES

@NetMoverSitan

4 жыл бұрын

Ravenwing Tribute?

@TallboyDave

4 жыл бұрын

You have to admit, does sound like it'd be an awesome basis for a chapter name, or the nomenclature of an Imperial Guard regiment.

@NetMoverSitan

4 жыл бұрын

@@TallboyDave You've never heard of the 2nd company of the Dark Angels, then.

@evanremillard5640

3 жыл бұрын

I knew that was coming.

Ah, the Great Blue Diary of Papa Smurf, from which he purged his dreams, nightmares and ideas into! And these days, young Smurf Initiates read it as a bedtime story and take pop quizzes on it.

"Book is only a guide" - Uncle

@KaiserAfini

4 жыл бұрын

"One more thing, librarian magic spells need more garlic." - Also Uncle

@HammarPwnsYourFace

3 жыл бұрын

“You can never have too much garlic 🧄 “ -Uncle yet again From *Uncle’s Old Fashioned Cookbook and Humanity Guide* v8.0

@mikkelnpetersen

3 жыл бұрын

@@HammarPwnsYourFace I'm happy that there's still people who remembers Uncle

'Space book says this method is bad' Leandros

@danielpratt1970

4 жыл бұрын

*Shitbucket

@lookatthepicture4107

4 жыл бұрын

Shut the fuck up Leandros

@cnlbenmc

4 жыл бұрын

Way to go there Commisar Kasuma.

Astartes in battle in present day Imperium -- Astartes that follow the Codex: The Codex Astartes does not approve of this action! Brother! . Astartes that don't want to follow the Codex: _WELL, I CAN'T READ!!_ . Random Astartes in the distance: *Brother, I am pinned here!*

@lordfrostwind3151

4 жыл бұрын

"It's a heavy flamer brother you don't need to whip it around like a pool noodle!" -A Deathwing strike team

@raamaa202

4 жыл бұрын

@@lordfrostwind3151 I was wondering if anyone got that reference :P

@robertnelson9599

4 жыл бұрын

Nice references.

@MrSphandor

4 жыл бұрын

@@lordfrostwind3151 I see brother badger's briefing has been correctly circulated

@raamaa202

4 жыл бұрын

_"Perhaps if Guilliman's head wasn't stuck so far up his buttocks, fervently kissing his own a*s. He would have proofread his work before publishing it."_

3/5 it was ok -Rogal Dorn

@Yorkington

4 жыл бұрын

Who knew a shard of the Emperor would in fact be HMS Exeter.

0/10, I can't read -Leman Russ

@Rahakanji

4 жыл бұрын

0/10 not enough blood -Angron

@TheLastVoodooMan

4 жыл бұрын

0/10 not enough suicide maneuvers. - guardsman of Krieg

@dekaw9138

4 жыл бұрын

0/10, There are no hugs! - vulkan

@mattwells5347

3 жыл бұрын

“THEY CAN’T EVEN WRITE!” -Magnus the Red

@ShadrackMeduson

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheLastVoodooMan and no shovels

27:19 with how vast the codex is I wouldn't be surprised if there may be a chapter in it dedicated to how to transport the damn thing.

@MrSphandor

4 жыл бұрын

Nah its stored as a holographic image with internal fractal geometry, so fits inside itself on the head of a pin.

@chanachon56

3 жыл бұрын

@@MrSphandor Then there should be a chapter dedicated to maintaining the device used to read it and the proper security measures one should take in securing the device from falling into the wrong hands.

"5/10, it was OK."

@kerolsmorgan126

4 жыл бұрын

You are adorable XD

“Codex should one use one or two pieces of toilet paper after the act of defecation style 641.”-Cato Sicarius

All I needed to hear was Lorgar. It's clearly his fault whatever the case may be.

@rayoung74

4 жыл бұрын

#blamelorgar

@shawnm1902

4 жыл бұрын

#blamekyle

@dionjaywoollaston1349

4 жыл бұрын

Will Wilson it was his first captain Erebus who tempted lorgar

@Turenkoren

4 жыл бұрын

Lorgar is the best! :P

@Will831100

4 жыл бұрын

@@dionjaywoollaston1349 But Lorgar caved to temptation. #StillLorgarsFault

"Well, I, Cato Sicarius, attribute the great success of myself, Cato Sicarius, to utmost adherence to the great Codex Astartes."

36:00 Okay so, the Codex Astartes is an algorithm for battle you have to 'search' through it In other words, you have to *source* your decisions You could almost say that the ultramarines... *Got lost in the sauce?*

@jaredfritsch6833

4 жыл бұрын

.................................................. IT'S TIME TO STOP!!!

"Book say no" -Unnamed Ultramarine Captain

'The more complex an issue is, the more demanding it is of a simple solution.' - Wolf Dude of the Wolf Dudes

"Captain Titus did nothing wrong". Change my mind or don't your choice.

@Cemtexify

4 жыл бұрын

Nah, he should have court martialed Leandros for insubordination and gotten a better sidekick

@Rudevald

4 жыл бұрын

Well explain his immunity to witchfire?

@jamesgarratt9334

4 жыл бұрын

@@Rudevald plot armor

@guy_autordie

4 жыл бұрын

@@Rudevald latent psycher. His "only" "known" capacity is to be immune to the effect of warp, while not being a blank.

Leandros: The codex astartes does not support this action Titus: thE Codex AStArtes dOes nO SuPpot tHis ACTiOn

@danielpratt1970

4 жыл бұрын

*Shitbucket

Arch when are you gonna do a full audiobook reading of the codex Astartes?

@martinmortyry7444

4 жыл бұрын

A series to dwarf The Siege of Vraks itself!

@MythosTheSophist

3 жыл бұрын

I would rather not see the Primarch series be on hiatus for the entire millennium.

"5/10 it is okay"- Rogal dorn.

It is said ferrus manus considered the book a-head of its time.

@martinmortyry7444

4 жыл бұрын

By the Emperor dude, too soon!

@shanehudson3995

4 жыл бұрын

Can't top that...

@snakeyman5560

4 жыл бұрын

... I thought he died before it was made. ;c FERRUS! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

@barryward2128

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah but ferrus manus never learned to quit while he was ahead so what would he know

@snakeyman5560

4 жыл бұрын

@@barryward2128 Too soon, man. Too soon ;c Emperor's children supporting bastard.

Codex Astartes: exists Shitbucket: *HEAVY BREATHING*

"Come, come, sir, now. You can't deny that this fine newspaper is good for the morale of the men." Captain Vipera Berus: "Certainly not, I just think that more could be achieved by giving them some real toilet-paper".

How to ruin my imperium and leave it completely vulnerable in a couple pages

@viorp5267

4 жыл бұрын

Based

@darthrevan3342

4 жыл бұрын

Even star wars tactical/strategicals droïds are not that dumb.

@skepticalmagos_101

4 жыл бұрын

You should have been a better father, Your Holiness.

@malekiththeeternityking5433

4 жыл бұрын

@@skepticalmagos_101 I was a great father. I was father to the 18 most dangerous humans in the Universe I had to get them to follow

Something tells me that book would be large enough to use as a tank busting weapon...

@koenvandamme6901

4 жыл бұрын

"Sir, how are you planning to defeat Horus?" 'I'm going to throw the book at him.' "I don't think he's going to listen to rules, Sir." 'No, that's not... Nevermind.'

@KaiserAfini

4 жыл бұрын

Its said Kreig soldiers tear up in joy at the mere thought of the number of trees sacrificed for the Emperor.

@BIGBOSS-bu1jt

4 жыл бұрын

@@koenvandamme6901 "Sir, how are you planning to defeat Horus?" 'I'm going to throw the book at him.' "I don't think he's going to listen to rules, Sir." guilliman orders orbital bombardment "It's a big book"

Also known as Toilet Paper to the Space Wolves

@MrFallenone

4 жыл бұрын

Every book and dataslate is toilet paper for the space wolves

@jonahtexhex2835

4 жыл бұрын

Perchance the Angry Spacemarines started the blue codex tp use there of with a middle finger to the exasperated Blue Shitbucket.

@clothar23

4 жыл бұрын

We Black Templars find it useful as well, the Codex makes an excellent blunt instrument.

@valtersplume3726

4 жыл бұрын

Angry Marines too call it toilet paper.

@denisvezijak9219

4 жыл бұрын

Ahahah! 👍

"The Codex Astardes does not support this action, jumping blindly into enemy fire." Response "my eyes were open on my way down"

superman once lifted a book of infinite pages. then thew out his back carrying the codex

"You wouldn't want a legion of Lamenters" ... I would! ...but on the other hand the poor buggers probably'd get hit by a galaxy and reduced to 10 astartes anyway

I'm glad Arch is still making videos. I was afraid that he'd suffer a stroke and possibly a heart attack after that mess with SAS.

@billyshire5482

4 жыл бұрын

It took me a second to realise you were NOT talking about the literal Special Air Service trying to kill Arch.

@Rezec75

4 жыл бұрын

@@billyshire5482 wait, what did Arch do?!

@pizzaelf

4 жыл бұрын

@@Rezec75 he made a video a few days back critisising the schaninavian airline service on their new woke commercial. In said commercial they claim that nothing is schaninavian. In said videos arch is looking distraught about such a claim made by a giant corporation

@nighthawk333ST

4 жыл бұрын

SAS... the new Arch Enemy :)

@80sRetrosaur

4 жыл бұрын

@@billyshire5482 haha xD, we can take 'em!

All jokes aside, as much as I hate what Ward did with the smurfs, and the jokes, I do love the Codex if only for the pure irony that surrounds it. Guiliman made a training manual, the thousand man limit was for a different reason, and that was only because he had expectations of peace after the heresy. No the book is a training manual, as Titas said, there to teach an astartes to hold honor and duty above all else. Everything else is trivial. Everything else is there to imbue strategic thinking into commanders reading it. Even the organizational structure it promotes is for the purpose of training, for raising marines slowly but surely into well rounded flexible warriors. That's really not how the Ultramarines use it, is it? The sweet irony is...that the smurfs have actually deviated the furthest from the purpose and spirit of the codex by not adapting. Any and every partially codex complaint chapter, who use the codex as a base frame upon how to order their forces are using the book as intended. Even the Black Templars who outright break the thousand man limit, are technically being more true to the spirit in which the book was written, because they are not willfully limiting themselves from doing what needs to be done to defeat the enemy.

@WLD142

4 жыл бұрын

Still Ultramarines are most successful in their actions xd

@lucasbeck1391

4 жыл бұрын

@@WLD142 because ward

@kapitan19969838

2 жыл бұрын

@@lucasbeck1391 Because they're the best Chapter

Ultramarines: ''Nooo! You cant just disobey the Codex Astartes!'' Black Templars: ''Hehehe! Neophytes go pewpew!''

The Codex Astartes the longest "choose your own adventure" ever written

Last time I was this early the legions were adopting the Marian reforms.

I now see my Raven Guard Successor Chapter, Shadow Watch, Has apparently never followed the Codex Astartes fully but only used it as Guidelines. Actually helpful. TY.

ah really looking forward to the Badab War series! Loved what you did with Vraks.

@thil2894

4 жыл бұрын

YES.

@artilyon

4 жыл бұрын

He made Vraks great again

@nerowulfee9210

4 жыл бұрын

*cough* Oculus Imperia *cough*

@Voron_Aggrav

4 жыл бұрын

@@nerowulfee9210 though the word of the scholar would be different, it'd be indeed interesting to hear the difference both have to the story Ave Imperator, Gloria in Excelsis Terra

@Rudevald

4 жыл бұрын

Milked it like dead cow? Yeah content was good but he could do it in four episodes less.

As soon as i saw this vid in my notifications for some reason I heard Arch in my head say, "Gwuilliman? Gwuilliman shitbucket?"

Yes... Summing up the Codex in two words:- More Dakka

@danielpratt1970

4 жыл бұрын

How much is enough dakka?

@lucasbeck1391

4 жыл бұрын

@@danielpratt1970 INF

@kieranh2005

4 жыл бұрын

♾

also, i dunno, i feel like the fists would have probably been against being split up specifically because of what wound up happening to them. like yeah, ten thousand years of neglecting joint exercises because the organization was split into tiny pieces will usually pretty seriously destroy the ability to coordinate

@lordfrostwind3151

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, that and establishing protocols for joint command when multiple chapters are involved in a theater or operation. Of course that could be described as the Imperium's problem in a nutshell, too many independent commands not listening or not being aware of what each one is doing, though I suppose that's more a feature than a bug post Heresy.

@dionjaywoollaston1349

4 жыл бұрын

Lord Frostwind the sons of Dorn have a protocol called “the last wall” which reunifies the chapters under rogal dorn’s heraldry into a legion should the situation be dire enough to my knowledge it has only been called once during the war of the beast

@lordfrostwind3151

4 жыл бұрын

@@dionjaywoollaston1349 I think a procedure such as that should exist for all of the legions, even if not to reform entirely into a legion, the ability to form into demi-legions in order to deal with larger scale threats. You would also need to include a somewhat unified training regimen between chapters, maybe occasional sharing of officers and NCOs and other measures so they can actually fight effectively with each other.

@dionjaywoollaston1349

4 жыл бұрын

Lord Frostwind they are technically family because they share their primarchs geneseed so they could be considered cousins the black Templars are the odd ones of the family because they don’t share their cousins fervent interest in fortifications, building structures and fortifying said structures. not all of the first founding chapters have successors (some such as the storm giants are rumoured to be successors of the salamanders) also the only officer rank as far as I know within a chapter is captain and the problem is that many chapters most famously the dark angels and the space wolves have a rivalry that dates back to their primarchs, not in the same way as Leman russ and magnus the red more brotherly

@Trisjack20

4 жыл бұрын

@@lordfrostwind3151 This is absolutely the case. The CA however did not cause the inability to coordinate or communicate that is a feature of the tech problems, the scale, the warp issues and the culture of 40k which itself prohibits and interferes with effective communication, travel and cooperation on every level.

Black Templars: Rejoice, my brothers: The fresh toilet paper shipment is here!

Loved your Vraks series, told all my friend about it, got banned from that subreddit for defending it. I'm very much looking forward to its successor!

Chapter one: Logistics

@darkinnovator2479

4 жыл бұрын

Chapter two: The Tales of Papa Smurf.

@captainpuffinpuffinson4769

4 жыл бұрын

Chapter three: toiletries

@darkinnovator2479

4 жыл бұрын

@@captainpuffinpuffinson4769 Chapter four: Cawl and the Crazy.

@AAhmou

4 жыл бұрын

The only reason Rogal rated it a 5/10.

@darkinnovator2479

4 жыл бұрын

@@AAhmou Want to bet the Lectitio Divinitatus scored higher to Rogal? It practically kisses the Emperor's ass with cherry lipstick.

I'm sure the *physical* copy of the Codex can be used as ordinance quite effectively when launched from orbit

-"We're being invaded by Tyranids! Quick, brother-sargeant, how do we fight them?" (The sargeant, searching for a matching solution in the Codex Astartes): -"Er, do you mean how do we fight the forces of the tyrant of Id?" NOM NOM NOM The Battle for Macragge, basically.

omg, it's 3 years and now I get the joke: "a dozend black man and a white girl" "things are looking mighty dark indeed"

Fundementally it's just extremely fast deductive reasoning.. An Astartes will usually take the shortest route to victory so long as he protects his fellow battle brothers and attributes to his objective his resolute, unassailable logic, however brutal or dispassionate it may be.. This is why the best AI in the world can't beat Starcraft II players. It looks at probabilities and numbers and when confronted with a scenario by the human it simply did not, or could not have had a contingency for without leaving a gaping hole in it's own early game defenses deemed statistically probable. It becomes an efficient infant, flailing around in the dark, it's own minds speed and clarity of deduction becoming it's worst enemy as it succumbs to the unorthodox. One thing an AI understands usually faster than most humans in terms of strategy and tactics in warfare is the fact that attacking and not defending is the first route to ultimate victory for a simple reason. Regardless of the outcome, unforseen consequences puts you and your enemy in terms of tactician vs. tactician at the same level. =)

“How 2 Kill Xenos and Other Filth for Dummies “

I thought the black Templar’s would have been the perfect example of a space marine chapter giving the Codex Astartes a big middle finger.

Random Astartes: “It says we’re not supposed to do that in the Space Book!” Me: “Well I can’t Read!!!!” *misuses Flamethrower*

Arch at the end of his videos: “I am once again asking for you to share this video around.”

And then some Tau noname reverse-engineers it in dozen years

@93Avenger93

4 жыл бұрын

Except he didn’t. Puretide’s teachings did not even come close to applicability to everything in wafare, as the repeated failures and massive defeats and casualties suffered by all his pupils when faced with stuff puretide never faced stands testament to. Between ‘nids, chaos, nurgle marines and the bog standard imperium, his pupils may use what they were taught as a base-line at best, but they have had to adapt plenty to the realities of the galaxy. Meanwhile the commanders with engram chips of puretide in their heads over-riding their minds failed abjectly at dealing with these threats. Which is a sort of fun parallel between “codex is only a guideline” and “codex is law” in the Imperium, but the difference is the codex is so thorough even dogmatic adherents still find far more success than failure. In the Tau case, only the 3 pupils who still retain their independent innovative minds do, while the rest who just got their brains over-ridden with a copy of puretide’s mind fail when faced with new threats.

@marcusflutist1230

4 жыл бұрын

@@93Avenger93 I'm talking about the aptly named Mirrorcodex by Farsight

I adore how the Dark Angels retain direct command over their successor chapters - it's not "Legion Building" if the Legion never really broke up

@gideonhorwitz9434

Жыл бұрын

Brilliant In way a clear command structure between the dark angels and the unforgiven means that when the lion returns the first legion can reforged like that 🫰

Leandros: "Captain, the Codex Astartes doesn't support this action..." Titus: "Shut the fuck up Leandros!"

5/10 It was okay.

Ain’t Black Templars got time for that

@thil2894

4 жыл бұрын

… their righteous anger does not suit them well for such a... organised book. Each tool as task it seems.

@guy_autordie

4 жыл бұрын

"While you read, you're not crusading." - anonymous Black Templar

And now after his final line I'm off to re-watch the siege of Vrax.

"Guilliman had the imperial navy launch codexes at my strike cruiser, I was something beyond furious"- Rogal Dorn.

We did it "by the book "

@donwebber9071

4 жыл бұрын

So you beat them to death with it didn't you

@lookatthepicture4107

4 жыл бұрын

* shoots book and the wall behind with a heavy Bolter * Bye Book -Brother McBein

9:40 ^ They’re no better than their Viking ancestors. #WeWuzWikings

@juanfernandez1696

4 жыл бұрын

You might be surprised at how popular that particular porn category is.

@Cozznoski

4 жыл бұрын

@@juanfernandez1696 how would you know? something of a porn connoisseur are we?

@juanfernandez1696

4 жыл бұрын

@@Cozznoski like many video sites porn sites have view count's. The "BBD" category has in my personal experience shown surprisingly consistently high view count's across several sites. It's not like you have to look hard for it their is always at least one in the home page when you login.

Guilliman: Chapters should only number a thousand brothers! Dorn and the Black Templars: *whistles, makes rude gestures behind his back and hides 7000 brothers around the galaxy*

The Codex Astartes: Micro-Management and You.

The Codex Astartes Lacks a few things. Yellow, Fists and bigger Broom stick just to name a few. But as a son of Dorn I may be bias.

@martinmortyry7444

4 жыл бұрын

It has quite a lengthy portion dedicated to logistics and fortification, though. Not as extensive as Papa Dorn could've produced but insightful enough to give it, let's say, a fair 5/10.

@thil2894

4 жыл бұрын

@@martinmortyry7444 you are being gentle here, but I understand that between loyal astartes a little decorum must be observe to preserve Relationship between founding chapter.

As a dumb question of an observer... if the space marines follow the book exactly, wouldn’t it be countered just as easily by losing a single copy? All the enemy needs to do is use it to force wrong decisions because they (with some practice surely) can predict exactly how the loyalists are likely to respond

@rayoung74

4 жыл бұрын

Only when facing Ultra-smurfs!

@WatcherPrime

4 жыл бұрын

That is a "depends" answer. This is a massive book and only lists a metric ton of "what if" and could offer a leg up on the standard chapter for logistics. In the end, knowing the general is how to game the codex in this matter.

@JohnSmith-yc6uv

Жыл бұрын

In the second ultramarines omnibus, this EXACT situation happens, and ultramar is FECKED! UP! because of it. The ultramarines still don't get it.

Space marine captain: does literally anything Lyandros: THE CODEX ASTARTES DOES NOT SUPPORT THIS ACTION

The Codex Astartes and Imperial Uplifting Primer keep the toilets of the 41st millenium well stocked with paper to use

@starbound100

4 жыл бұрын

I think that if anyone sees you use a tome written by one of the Emperors' Sons as toilet paper in 40k, you'll soon keep it company in the same latrine you were using as part of the waste, cause there's no proper burial for the state you'll be after they're done.

Yes Arch , we saw Vraks. We loved it and we want/demand/beg more 😆

The real question is whether the Codex Astartes can be used as a weapon.

0/10 Has no wolves, you milksop. -Leman Russ

Saw the title of the video and immediately thought about all the "The Codex Astartes does not support this action" memes that would be in the comments. Click on the video and Arch already has it in there. *Outstanding Move*

Ah, The Good Ol' Grandpa Smurf 's Space Book. Just wondering does Roboute Guilliman even got an book author autograph publication during book launch event ?

Do a Lore video on Malal the Chaos god of Anarchy even though he was retconned it would be a good video

Ah the humble Codex Astartes or as the Space Wolves call it "Spare Toilet Paper"

Calgar sobbing in the undercroft after Guilliman returns: UGHHHHHUHHHUBUHUBU... This is gonna Suck! Everything going down the shitter and the Lord Primarch is back! Guilliman enters the room after finding out the state of the galaxy: You come here to cry too?