Lol, well this explains why all those "where do you see yourself in 5 years" questions were so difficult.

@RelaxCreatorMary

4 жыл бұрын

OMG me too!!!!!

@MCJOHNSON95

4 жыл бұрын

At every age and in 1st grade they always asked what I wanted to be but I never knew what i wanted to do in the future.

@bigballs3095

4 жыл бұрын

Yikes i never could of imagined that i would be as messed up as i am and have bin my entire life i also wish someone would of helped me out a little bit in life as well to. My narcissistic Mom gaslighted me making me believe that mental disorders didn’t exist wile telling me your crazy, theres something wrong with you, your to sensitive, no i never said that, that didn’t happen like that, your making things up and come on what really happened. Sometimes asking me over and over like i was lying making me always question myself until i introverted right after kindergarten witch was the around the time i gave up on myself really started hating myself. I started to self harm and cut myself and light myself on fire hoping i would dye cuz i felt so wrong inside. It took me so many of the darkest traumatizing lonely isolated years and sleepless nights to get to the point im at now witch is still a far cry from anything normal for that matter. But i got a job for now and am coping i guess if you call always isolating myself neglecting myself starving myself doing unhealthy amounts of harmful and highly addictive drugs. Just to numb out and avoid dealing with any of my problems for a few hours cuz the rest of the time im constantly ruminating about how to solve my unsolvable problems. I cant wait for life to be over thats all im saying.

@ngdlxz

4 жыл бұрын

jesus yeah! I was always thinking; damn i don't even know what i want to eat for lunch. you ask me abt my whole life in 5 yrs? fk off

@astrammd

3 жыл бұрын

Right?! Just gotta pick something so you don't tread water forever.

I just bawled my eyes out. Especially at the point where Russel says "...it doesn't matter what your intentions are, you're not going to do them". And then hearing the audience members LAUGH. The shame I feel when I reflect on the years and years of trying to be better and the struggle to mantain the appearance of normality in the world, despite my best intentions is heartbreaking enough. To hear a group of people laugh at that - that's crushing.

@melissagoodale5736

2 жыл бұрын

His audience often laughs at times they shouldn't. I burst into tears at one point that they laughed.

@vickigreen9545

Жыл бұрын

Yep I felt that … mean. But once we know this we can work our way through it, even if it’s talking to loved ones in advance about how we’ll let them down unintentionally and asking for their help (and forgiveness), playing a game to make ourselves do boring chores, doing boring things in 3 min blocks, or use post-it’s to remember what we’re supposed to focus on that day, or just delegate the things we can’t deal with to others. Please research the cool things about ADHD too because some people would kill to be able to “live in the now” for a start!

@sandytodd7211

Жыл бұрын

I think it was a "laughing with", as in identifying with, not laughing at.

@vickigreen9545

Жыл бұрын

@@sandytodd7211 I hope so, the more I hear from this expert though the more kindness and advocacy I hear from him

@Adrianruper

Жыл бұрын

I agree, I was always called lazy and stupid for always being behind everyone even though I always had the best grades I sucked at projects and couldn’t stick to deadlines I got held back in third grade and my parents used to beat me cause I didn’t know answers to homework so hearing people laugh at us having the intention, but not the performance is incredibly out of touch

this made me want to cry it was so accurate

@Domdeone1

6 жыл бұрын

Ive had 50 years of it, a v. good book Im not stupid, Lazy or Crazy would recommend written by two women that have ADHD.

@MC____

5 жыл бұрын

I agree no-one understands the disorder better than this man in my opinion . I have 2 failed marriages and had to laugh when he said that example when the wife said she felt like she had an extra child . That is what my last wife said . It frustrates me that this disorder is so misunderstood

@Kaalokalawaia

4 жыл бұрын

Omg sis. I feel you

@robertapiscitelli2696

2 жыл бұрын

I came through this video because today has been horrible due to time blindness for me, so I was already in a pretty emotional state. I burst into tears for a good 5 minutes watching this, I feel so understood and seen as well as broken... I'm crying because I'm devastated by my inability to cope, grateful that this guy gets it, but disrupted again by the fact that society doesn't and blames us for it. Our intentions are good. Please. We need help and reminders, not reprimands

no wonder we get so frustrated with ourselves. we know what we need to do, how to do it, but we just can't seem to turn the knowledge into action.

@aftonair

Ай бұрын

Fact.

I just wish time blindness was a wider-known trait of ADHD. I've literally been searching for *years* for an explanation of my inability to comprehend time. It's affected my life so much that I can't explain how often I've googled 'time comprehension disorders' and had '10 tips on how to overcome procrastination' -type articles come up. *Thank you* so much for literally explaining my life in such a compassionate way, I know it's up to me to manage it but it's nice to have an expert sincerely acknowledge those struggles and not jump straight into treatment/how 'we need to fix it'

@slsthewriter1299

3 жыл бұрын

Same here. I've literally have never been able to tell how long I'm in the shower. I swear I need to get a working clock tattooed on my arm. 😭

@justanothervote

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed, I have had hundreds of conversations with people that have been hours long but to me they seemed like only 15 min.

@justanothervote

3 жыл бұрын

@@slsthewriter1299 highly suggest using the "ok google" feature on your phone. You just tell it via voice and voila .

@slsthewriter1299

3 жыл бұрын

@@justanothervote That is a smart idea, though I never bring my phone in the bathroom with me because I don't want it to get wet via vapors or blah blah blah. I have looked into getting a shower clock. xD

@justanothervote

3 жыл бұрын

@@slsthewriter1299 maybe just buy a cheap kitchen timer. I personally find I don't look clocks when they are on the wall. But using a timer gets my attention because the noise jars me back to reality and yanks me outta my ruminating in my own little world.

ADHD school report ,"has a great general knowledge and seems highly intelligent if only we could get him to focus on a task for five minutes". And my dads response ,"your just not trying pull yourself together", I did try I just couldn't pull myself together .

@evelynchew9590

2 жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry, for you and those still struggling to be understood. I have seen it up close and I know what it’s like. And it’s horrible to be judged when you’re doing your best. I hope your dad gets a better understanding- perhaps if he would watch a video or read a book. Chances are one of your parents may even have it and not know it💁🏻‍♀️ All my support Roman. you’ve got this.

@romanbrandle319

2 жыл бұрын

@@evelynchew9590 What helped me in the end was understanding that my dad had mental health issues . And too much pride so he never got the help he needed and as a result he must of felt miserable . I learnt valuable lessons on how not to treat others and when to get help .

@Dreamy-writer

2 жыл бұрын

@@romanbrandle319 that’s very mature of you to be so forgiving. I wish you nothing but success on your journey to learning more about ADHD and what methods work best for you and how you uniquely function

@AMindInOverdrive

Жыл бұрын

I had that on many school reports too LOL I actually thought I was a good student until my sister recently posted me all my old school reports - Knowing what I know no, they scream ADHD -But they didn't understand that when I was a child...because I wasn't running around the classroom...I was more of a daydreamer; One thing I'm sure about is, I don't expect everyone else to understand me; Once I understand myself I'm happy. ;-)

@charlesming7875

8 ай бұрын

My report exactly. My perfect job has always been hostess, as long as I didn’t have to handle bookings.

This is so relatable. My parents always say that I'm not caring enough and I'm not sincere enough but actually it's just that I'm failing at everything no matter how hard I try. It's sad they don't get it.

@tonistevens763

2 жыл бұрын

I know. It sucks. & chances are at least one of them (If biological parents) has it as well! I figure mine have internalised shame about their symptoms & are taking it out on me, bc that's what they've been told their whole lives. 🥺 Commiseration comrade. 😥

@themaggattack

2 жыл бұрын

@@tonistevens763 SO, SO true!!! It's hereditary and so much shame is passed down surrounding it!! Thank you for your compassionate perspective.

@mtneves77

2 жыл бұрын

It's heartbreaking to see others in this cycle I grew up in. It gets better with meds and getting away from home.

@ricoender8020

2 жыл бұрын

@@mtneves77 am trying to get away from family. It's not good, were I am. Need counseling and possibly meds. Diet and exercise are what's keeping motivated in life and pushing forward.

@strawberryme08

Жыл бұрын

That is a limiting belief. Stop trying to fit into. A box the world creates. Learn about the gifts that come with adhd and learn how it serves you.

Diagnosed decades ago and yep, time blindness has created havoc in my life. I was still able to go to UC Berkeley for undergrad and Yale for grad school but I did every assignment last minute in an adrenaline-soaked frenzy of activity. I also have struggled my entire adult life with being on time. I have been fired from numerous jobs not because I was not good at them, but because I was chronically late. Yes, time blindness has been the bane of my life.

@nikisha5331

2 жыл бұрын

wow this describes me to a tee, sadly, but we do have amazing qualities as well :) It all depends if we can tap into those qualities!

@tacoman107

2 жыл бұрын

Question. What things helped you out with the boat load of assignments (particularly yhe long term ones and studying) and reaching your goal? I'm on college rn and its tough to start things, especially since I know I'm more than capable

@ricoender8020

2 жыл бұрын

I kept a bad job near 7 years, I actually developed effective strategy to be on time but it cost me a lot of mental tiredness and made me very rigid and not likeable to be around I was effective and a good worker but it really messed with my personality. "Sigh" if we only had a pill that would make it all go away but that's not how life works. We have to work at it.

@williamfernandez8867

10 ай бұрын

Yes we all have to work it out and mentally use our brain and make it all go away.

Well this explains a lot. It explains getting fired from jobs and losing relationships due to chronic lateness. It explains all the missed plane flights. It explains why none of the dozen books on time management I own haven't helped. It explains why I feel that the world is moving too fast and no matter how fast I try to move, I can never catch up. I've often said I only have 3 time references - Now, Later (infinity) and "OMG, I'm running so late!".

@huntern4454

Жыл бұрын

Yes! And the fact that I buy a book nd loose it in the first place.

@gravity00x

2 ай бұрын

its astounding isnt it. out of 100% of the work days, I was late on 99% percent of them and had to sprint like a marathon sprinter, every morning. over and over and over, all my life. ud think the boy learned his lesson, after being drenched in sweat at his job interview or being completely exhausted coming to work and absolutely hating it. but no, all the other thousands of mornings were just exactly the very same and foe th3 life of me, i could not do anything about it.

"it's not the sincerity, it's the inability to organise within the intention" ohhh this makes me cry 😭😭😭😭 I always wonder why it's very hard for me to keep my promise (especially regarding time) when I REALLY MEAN TO CHANGE 😭 IT'S HARD 😭😭😭

Natural born Zen Masters... "What happens next ?, Nothing ... It's all happening now"

This is why planners/diary’s don’t work for so many of us.

I’m glad people have broken up this lecture into pieces that I come across in the wild to really give me the full ADHD experience

Wow. So, this is why I skipped the planning a wedding and went to the JP. And why when I'll be 10 min early to work, but get an idea to stop at the grocery store, I do it, but then end up 30min late to work. And, I'm 43 yrs old, so I everyone is like what were you thinking. Then the last week I did it again. See his previous videos. These are great videos to know it's not just me, but I need solutions.

“Visual Timers” are timers created specifically for people with ADHD. Look it up! They have really helped me with managing time blindness

People laugh, but I'm here to tell you all, it's not funny if you are the one suffering with ADHD. I get depressed when I hear this stuff, because it's so ME. But nobody seems to care enough to listen to people like this guy and to try to understand why I am the way I am. 😢

@anastasiasongs

2 жыл бұрын

We can barely understand ourselves, how can we expect others to understand?

@Dreamy-writer

2 жыл бұрын

But there’s a whole community of people who are going through the same trials as you. It’s nice to surround yourself with folks who actually *do* get how hard it can be. But I recommend looking up books that could help you tap into the strengths of ADHD (yes, there are actual strengths). “ADHD 2. 0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction--From Childhood Through Adulthood” is really good at this. It’s a great feeling being able to accept that you are wonderfully, uniquely you ❤️ God bless and good luck

@sachab6098

Жыл бұрын

I am not diagnosed with adhd and I find these talks hard to listen to/depressing. he uses a lot of strong language too

@hereallyfast

5 күн бұрын

The part that sucks the most about his language is that I appreciate it because it's true. Maybe neurolink will help​@@sachab6098

I legit fear planning my wedding. Him just casually listing all the things you need to do made me kinda anxious.

Have a horrible time being on time to work, appointments with friends, etc. Unaware of the actual passing of the years. I'm always surprised how quickly 10 years flies by, and how it still literally seems like yesterday when people speak of 20 years ago.

We have a saying in the Middle East that is like “water moves beneath you, and you have no idea” what is devastating in adhd situation is you are sort of aware of your life’s counter moving and moving, meaningless and messy, is there a more difficult feeling than being aware of your misery?!

@WendyInTheCity

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely agree! Now that I know I have adhd and no why I do things but I can’t not do it. Really sucks

@themaggattack

2 жыл бұрын

"Manic Depression has captured my soul. I know what I want but I just don't know how to go about getting it. Feeling, sweet feeling drops from my fingers, fingers.. Manic depression is a fall straight and miss!" -Jimmy Hendrix (I think this applies to ADHH, as well as Bipolar. Very frustrating. Especially when people tell you what you already know and don't understand why you just can't do it.)

People laughed at 5:30 while I almost cried because it’s exactly what I’m struggling with

@user-kr1lj6ql9k

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah it really felt shitty that the ppl always laughed bc its actually so hard to deal with and it hurts and they make it seem like its just smth funny or embarrassing. Made me so uncomfortable

@toni_hencz

2 жыл бұрын

Yep. Bawled my eyes out at that point. The self-shaming is bad enough.

@kmj2000

2 жыл бұрын

It makes me feel like there is no hope.

@Dreamy-writer

2 жыл бұрын

I was honestly surprised when they laughed and oddly enough, I get the feeling even he did not expect them to laugh

@xXichibanBaller

2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad I'm not the only one, I started feeling a bit like a freak 😭

This man knows what he's talking about.

To see time at work, I put 8 match car toys on my desk and set an hourly alarm. Each hour I move one car in front of my other monitor. It kinda helps... a friend reccomend thinking of time as a budget because if I waste an hour, I have take that hour out elsewhere. The cars help make it real. I also do small rewards for accomplishing some work during that hour... I'm struggling with the rewards not taking an hour, lol, but in general it's helping.

If adhd was discussed in these terms i wouldnt take 20 years for me to get diagnosed

Thank you so much. I could cry right now from how seen and understood this made me feel. I’m currently in one of those adhd crises and am on a serious time constraint. The stakes of my situation are so so high and I know that, but I still can’t seem to actually do anything about it until it starts getting dark out. I was so good about it when I was a kid, but from age 15-now (21) it started really affecting my life. Right now my bachelors degree is on the line and subsequently my ability to do the masters degree I’ve planned the next year of my life around, but I still can’t get up and do my work and be productive. Even now, I’m watching this because I’m at such a loss with why I keep doing this to myself and why I can’t seem to learn from my plethora of mistakes just like this. It’s caused me a lot of confusion and self-loathing and constantly feeling misunderstood because people think I’m just lazy, when really I want so badly to do what I know I need to do, I just can’t. Every time I’ve explained my horrible perception of time to someone they look at me like I’m making excuses. ADHD is such a misunderstood and for lack of a better term, underestimated disorder. People don’t seem to understand the severity of how it actually impacts people’s lives because I’m not just easily distracted, lazy, and a bit more energetic than others, it’s so much more than that. I wish more people understood this. Anyway, sorry for the long rant, I’m just feeling a lot of feelings at the moment. Thanks again for making me feel understood and helping me understand myself and know that I’m not just stupid or lazy like I’ve been made to feel for so long. It’s nice to have someone put into words what you can’t.

@bjelfin

Жыл бұрын

Hate to tell you this, but it gets worse with age.

@madisonhinnen2183

Жыл бұрын

How are you doing now? I resonate with what you said. I e been trying to battle/cope with that feeling for months. It’s hard. Hope you’re ok!

I noticed my gf had a low front tire on her car. Figured I'd take the tire off and plug the leak. I loosened all the lug nuts. My cell rang, I answered it. Something needed attention. I got in my car and left. She noticed the car shaking stopped at a gas station. She had 1 nut left. 2 if you include me. So when she told me the story I had a decision to make. I mentioned maybe I did it. Yikes

@gravity00x

2 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂 ok this made me laugh. had a similar or not similar but related experience. my lovely girlfriend was calling me on her way from work, to our home and just wanted to chat with me. she is utterly important to me, so i make sure i pay my best mind and be as attentive as I can possibly be. At this point I'm standing in our kitchen, as I just got home from work and I've been very hungry, preparing some food. She then gets home, while I'm sitting in my room out of sight and starts laughing out loud. I ask her what the deal is and she waves me over. She opens the dishes drawer up top and there is my cold, unmicrowaved food, sitting on all the other clean plates with the drawer shut all the way. I was sitting hungry in another room and forgot that I wanted to eat. At that time it was a testament to myself, of how much I valued her and what she has to say. And even though looking back in hindsight, that is very true regardless, I can't help but attest part of that to ADHD 😂

“Thinking of organizing the wedding...” Me and my also ADHD fiancé: calling to order the ring in the last week & last day to rent tables and chairs

My dad once accused me of "forgetting on purpose." My elementary school reports often read "Samantha would be an excellent student if she'd just apply herself." I was always an A or B student so I wasn't exactly failing. I just never "reached my potential." I always felt like, but I am trying my hardest. I couldn't figure out how to push myself.

Oh man. I can definitely relate, especially to the "getting married" example. Even though I'd set my sights on it and wanted to do it, the whole cacaphony of little separate things that needed to be organized within the structure of life which itself was basically impossible to manage in the first place... It just doesn't happen. It also explains why I'm so different with planning vacations, where my planning basically stops at "Let's go to this country and stay at this place" and I like the rest to just unfold in that moment. If I try to plan things I just become incredibly uncomfortable, but that makes it look like I don't want to go on a vacation. I do; but it would be so much better if it was simple. Anyway, I'm oversharing, but it's so interesting and elucidating to learn about this.

This is so true (and so sad). Too bad people have to suffer this frustrating condition, living with constant struggle, and eventually leading to other mental health conditions (anxiety, depression). Medication helps a great deal, but does not cure. The key to surviving this is to find your passion in life and pursue it. One also needs strong faith and a good support system.

@nikisha5331

2 жыл бұрын

this is beautifully summarized! I 100% agree.

@kenna9877

Жыл бұрын

After struggling with ADHD for 21 years now and the anxiety and depression has definitely caught up with me. The intense want to do something, but the inability to actually do it has caused me an immense amount of self loathing and anxiety. The meds used to help a lot, but I’ve been taking them since I was 6 and they just don’t work like they used to, so I’ve been struggling even more through uni, where people don’t even seem to care enough to TRY to understand. I just wish people would take the time to understand ADHD instead of watering it down to being easily distracted, a bit random, and more energetic. It’s good to finally feel understood and to understand myself a bit better. He put into words what I’ve been feeling my entire life, but haven’t been able to articulate until now.

@gravity00x

2 ай бұрын

dont even mention the stress, that makes your entire body age 10x as fast and the physical diseases and disorders it causes. it is a sickness made in hell. if there is a god, he shall burn there until eternity. how dare he give innocent children such an horrible, horrible life.

I take 90 mg of concerta after being diagnosed at 52. So what job did I get at age 52. A principal of a school. ADHD or not. Anything is possible. They put me on leave for being ADHD . Two years later they want me to go back. Let your character and your integrity to do the right thing when it matters always shine through. So learn how to lead and manage others well in whatever job you do and you will be surprised how much you will learn about lead yourself. Read and listen to stuff to do with leadership and take control of your life. If you don't someone else will.

@Domdeone1

6 жыл бұрын

Did Concerta help as above Ritalin? I`m fifty & struggling without any drugs. Part of my brain feels like its in mental shutdown after my Mother passed away-she and I went down Maudesly hosp for a diagnosis-no outcome since.. taken over ten years even thu diagnosed with it after lifetime struggle..

@lissaajz

5 жыл бұрын

Domdeone1 hey, I hope you’re seeing some help! And about the medication, keep in mind that every person is a unique complex individual so what works for some may not work for others, ok? (For instance: I’m 31 and needer Ritalin nor Concerta worked for me, I take another one) talk to a good doc or psychologist ok? :)

@lauraubrey7830

5 жыл бұрын

So that medication works then

@intentional9588

4 жыл бұрын

Craig Nicholson This gives me hope! Thank you!!

@williampan29

3 жыл бұрын

"ADHD or not. Anything is possible". So if I take my meds regularly, even at 50s I can still win at an Olympics?

idk what it is about this guy, but the way he speaks, the information stores itself really easily in my brain. It's really easy to understand him.

Why am I just hearing this now!!?... Why!?? I am 55 years old😭 All the abuse, injustices. To think where my self-esteem would be had I known..."educators" known this information when I was in grade school. A Special Ed. kid🧸

I also found this painful to hear, yet completely accurate. The truth hurts. I am 47 and was just diagnosed with ADHD. I am happy now that I am understanding why I've struggled so much. But at the same time I am so so sad that this was not caught sooner! None of the doctors even considered this of all of the doctors I have seen over the last 20+ years. In my desperate need for help none of them helped me! The reason I was finally diagnosed with ADHD is because I figured it out thanks to the internet and KZread! A doctor then confirmed my suspicion, unprompted by me. Medication changes are already helping me feel tons better! I have a lot of therapy ahead.

@ari357

4 жыл бұрын

What kind of medication are you on and how did it help you? IN what wayd. I'm also like you, didnt know about why I struggled so much and learning from educatiing myself through thse videos.

@thingsnstuff85

9 ай бұрын

Yeah it FUCKING SUCKS when your psychologist just keeps on saying nah, it’s depression. Nah it’s BPD. Here take this Wellbutrin. Like FFS, just PLEASE give me the god damn appropriate medication!! 🤬

6:03 my friend has those problems! I've been looking at these videos to see if perhaps having a better understanding of his problems could help me help him, thanks for clarifying things so i can understand

@kenna9877

Жыл бұрын

I know this comment is from a year ago, but I wanted to say you’re a good friend and thank you for taking the time to understand your friend with ADHD. The actual impact of our disorder is always so minimized and it leads to a lot of people judging us for the way we operate without actually understanding what we’re going through. I constantly feel so misunderstood by other’s assumptions that I’m just stupid and disruptive and lazy; there comes a point when you start to actually believe it. It becomes very frustrating and discouraging and I’m sure your friend really appreciated having someone understand what he’s going through :)

Billy Pilgrim must have had a severe case of ADHD. All kidding aside, when the professor says ADHD people "cannot" do something, I would say "have trouble with". We learn strategies for dealing with the issues. That doesn't mean we always succeed, but that doesn't mean we always fail either.

@cassidy8605

3 жыл бұрын

Great point! It’s importantly not to look at things so finitely. However, some aspects of ADHD will always persist (as you said). I think the ability to regulate/mitigate the impact of some symptoms, resolve others, and even to continue to be heavily impacted by others just depends on the person (their presentation, level of severity, and symptoms) and the tools available to them. I, personally, believe (and your comment suggests that you probably believe this as well) that all symptoms are capable of being mitigated (or the impacts of them are capable of being reduced), but most, if not all, symptoms will never truly go away. And some may be capable of being more noticeably mitigated than others; the impact of some may be more greatly reduced than the impact of others.

I can't count how many times my dad has gotten angry at me raging "why do you always have to leave everything to the last bloody minute?!" I feel like crying after watching this and finally understanding why.

@dianeibsen5994

Жыл бұрын

I understand 😢

@gravity00x

2 ай бұрын

its incredibly hurtful, comin from people you love or even those u dont love but respect or value. "god damn!! i'm trying my absolute hardest okay?!" is what I wish in hindsight, that I would have said. but i always jus sucked it up and started to resent the person.

I remember being really irked about people talking about intentions and “intentionality” and Daniel Dennett’s “The Intentional Stance” because it was such a ridiculous and irrelevant made-up concept that they were overinflating. Guess that was just me. 😐🤦‍♀️ This is probably the best video I have seen on the topic. I am literally time-blind. Seriously. It’s completely amazing to me that people are able to be on-time and also value being on time, or consider it anything to do with how someone feels about you or respect or something any more than a blind person would understand your obsession with matching clothing colors. It just doesn’t exist to them and yet you live in the colors all day long. Moreover it is not a choice. All cognitive abilities are trade offs just as all technologies are double-edged swords.

Ok but this entire video was me! I’m 23 and haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD, but I really think I need to look into it.

@lolopcallulu3082

3 жыл бұрын

let me know how that goes!

@Carl-Gauss

3 ай бұрын

How did looking into it go?

@mikahkilgore4972

3 ай бұрын

@@Carl-Gauss I haven’t looked into it yet, partially because life stuff got in the way

@gravity00x

2 ай бұрын

​​@@mikahkilgore4972😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 this is the adhd talking. have a life-threatening condition? meh, ill look into it later. unfortunately there is nothing anyone could ever tell you, for you to make the first step. that is soley and only doable by you yourself. your clock is ticking man.

I'm sitting here trying to lay out a timeline for my work over the next four weeks, and it's so hard to sit down and focus on it and grasp where to start! This helps explain what's happening to me right now...

I have never been diagnosed with ADD but now in my 30s I know I have it. I have to work super hard in my mind to do important things. There really is no time. If I have an appointment. I mark it ahead of time on the calendar and I will look at the calendar everyday having no clue what day it is. As I near closer to the time, I'm looking at the calendar more often. Day of...I'm checking the time I have written down 20 times and now my phone is out for the current time. I have to take in consideration how long it will take me to drive to the appointment, give myself time for traffic, and I'd like to be 5 minutes early. Now I'm checking the time on my phone again. And I will continue to check it a million times until it time to leave. "Ok I have an hour. Don't forget don't forget" I got side tracked by something of course and a supposed minute is in fact an hour. I'm rushing out the door. I have my navigation on before I drive. I feel I am a good driver however, I do like to go a little faster and I do have road rage because I am a super considerate person of others and I know I'm operating a deadly weapon. I arrive at the appointment. I honestly can not tell you how I got there. I rely 100% on navigation and paying attention to traffic and being pissed. I literally black out. I can go to this same place 20 times and still need my navigation. Needless to say. I do not go to appointments for myself. I have 3 kids so I refuse to go for myself. The more I tell myself "Ok focus! Pay attention this time" the worse the black outs seem to be. I have lived in the same tiny 1 traffic light town for most of my life, since 9. I'm 33 now and once in a blue moon without thinking and in a passenger seat I'll look out the window and ask "where are we" and will go on about how amazed I am I have never been there before and my bf will assure me I have but that usually turns into an argument. And same thing. I Could not tell you how to get back. For most of my life I can recall looking out the window while in a car at the trees were going by. I like the movement it makes me feel at peace. I am not hyper physically but I am in my mind. I'm extremely observant of people . I think of every possible angle in situations .Unfortunately, I don't do anything with this information. I just have it in my head. All the time. I'm not lazy I don't think. I hate doing new things but if I have to I want to learn it as quickly as possible so I can go into an "auto" mode doing it. Meaning I don't have to think about it and I can focus on what I want to do. I hate doing the dishes. They'll sit there for two days because I'd rather tote 13 5 gallon buckets of water next door to water the neighbors plants. I went through my entire yard and picked every single sandspurs plant with my bare hands until they were all gone. I hyper focus on things and I feel the need to finish what I start. I know I have other important things to do. It stays in my mind but I don't know why it doesn't get done. I don't know what happens because I want it to all be done. I could go on and on and I know I'm just talking to myself. I know I should talk to a professional but ...

@gaaneshmujumdar

3 жыл бұрын

Here is a tight hug to you from me. Please get diagnosed and medicines, it does make a lot of difference, it really helps, I know cos I have. I read your comment amd most of it ir true for me. Take good care of yourself 🙂

@MaddieFrankX

2 жыл бұрын

I was diagnosed when I was 16, and damn dude, I can relate so much to you. I have always said that thank god navigation exists because that's the only way I can reach anywhere. Also, funny story. I'm pretty sure my mom also has ADHD even though she is undiagnosed, and it is quite funny to watch old movies with her. She always forgets she watched them and sometimes she likes movies she disliked before and viceversa and she swears she never saw them.

@gabepetro358

2 жыл бұрын

@@MaddieFrankX my mom was diagnosed with adhd as a child. She said she hated Ritalin with a passion because she did not like the way it made her feel. She was given the choice to either take her meds or drink a cup of coffee. She chose coffee everytime. Lol. Its interesting. Now I'm 36 years old and a friend of mine strongly suggested I give coffee a try and I could never stand the taste of it my entire life . I've only took a sip once or twice on my 36 years. Enough to know I can't stand the taste. However, about a month ago, I endured. I sat there and drank an entire cup. I did put milk and hershys syrup in it. I felt my heart beat start to race. Next thing you know I'm jacked up lol. Cleaned my entire front yard and cleaned my house. Guess I was focused. Hahaha. Anyways, I've caught myself in that same scenario with movies and stuff. It takes me a few times to catch everything going on sometimes. And first time I might not have patience for it or think its boring but then someone else wants to watch it another time so I suck it up. So I totally get that.

I had no idea why the only thing I could do after 4 year biology study was wash the beakers.. It was miserable.. but I have the answer now..

@lauriejean9306

7 жыл бұрын

H Kwak best to you - this is not the end!

@Domdeone1

6 жыл бұрын

Clean beakers lol

Hearing this video is like having the lights on for the first time... such an eye-opener !

This explains why i don't feel like getting ready to go out untill the car is right outside 😭

This made me cry. You described me so accurately. Thank you so much, Dr.

Well this is how I explain it: I'm sure you've heard that "time flies when you're having fun" and "A watched pot never boils" now without looking just randomly and unpredictability smash at the 2x, 3x and 4x speed button on those experiences and you have the reason why I can't show up to work on time for the fucking life of me!

Kinda funny kinda not but my partner IS leaving me and I was only diagnosed with ADHD finally at age 28 a few months ago. And literally the marriage analogy was my reality. My partner almost thought I didn't want to get married due to my lack of initiative in the planning. It feel so validating to finally know why my sincere intentions to love my partner could never be realized. It was nearly impossible due to this condition.

OMG... when we mentioned "imagine organizing a wedding" and I just about panicked! lol!

Dr. Barkley- Thank you for a fantastic, informative video. Your research and articles has lead to major progress in this field.

Finally after years I know where itvall comes from... wish life wouldn't have made me so complicated :/

It all makes sense now, wish I had known this years ago.

Oh yes, the now is more compelling than the many tasks I actually should do. But now is real, while tasks are only ideas.

Me asking THE exam montitor how much time there's left in the exam each 5 min and when there was like 10 min left i hadn't even done half the questions 😭

7:26 I am smartest person in class but can't get things done bcz ADHD

@keshav_p

4 жыл бұрын

With u broo..

Oddly enough this made me feel comfortable. I have issues at work, knowing I am capable of doing the work but can’t is frustrating. It stands in the way of going further into my success of anything. My anxiety and depression surely does not help this. As the depression pushes me to stay home and the agoraphobia agrees and I just simply won’t get out of bed although I want to be like people my age and go to bars or work to have a place of my own or have the chance to go out and find a partner. I finally took the step to seek help in my adult life after 5 years though. I’m hoping to understand these diagnoses better and be able to provide for myself better and be more reliable. Life is frustrating and the only thing I’ve got is hope.

@eleanorfulton8091

10 ай бұрын

Could possibly be Autism ADHD combination? I thought I was agoraphobic, turns out I'm just overwhelmed by sensory overload in crowded places.

@huntern4454

10 ай бұрын

@@eleanorfulton8091 I’ve considered that I have autism, never thought of the combination. Finally had a consult and they think it’s ptsd and BPD. Ofcourse part of that is anxiety and depression plus the adhd that I do have. It’s been interesting and has already felt like such a long journey but I’m glad I’m able to figure this out.

@eleanorfulton8091

10 ай бұрын

It does seem like a really long and confusing journey. I'm 40 and just starting to figure out why I have struggled so much. I was treated for PTSD and that did help, also treated for anxiety and depression and felt like I had made a lot of progress, but still struggling to just barely get by. Starting to just accept myself and learn how to take care of myself and that is making the biggest difference. Being kind to ourselves on this journey really is the most important thing.

@huntern4454

10 ай бұрын

The hardest thing has been others accepting that this is my reality and not an excuse. I have slowly been getting to the point where I don’t care but it depends on the day aswell.

Following a traumatic existence spanning fifty four years thus far it is now becoming a worsening dilemma as the fight intensifies between the 'newby' diagnosed children and their ever passive parenting styles leading to argument for or against the very existence of a damning and exhausting condition shouldered (predominantly) by the sufferer (petitioner)

what is the frontal lobe for but to organize your behavior across time in anticipation of what is coming at you: the future

OMG this is so me. I don't get things done and before I know it so much time has passed and I am embarrassed by this and then never accomplish anything. So frustrating for me and others.

@Domdeone1

6 жыл бұрын

So, so true. So need structure

5:30 Laughter from the Type A people who can't relate. I'm sure that made their day. 😥

"you have all the skills people your age possess but you can't use them." OR in videogame language: *This ability is in cooldown and can't be used* *This ability is in cooldown and can't be used* *This ability is in cooldown and can't be used* *This ability is in cooldown and can't be used* *This ability is in cooldown and can't be used* *This ability is in cooldown and can't be used* . . . and that were all my skills...

Hearing that you can know a lot but you cannot use that knowledge or skills is heartbreaking. :(

What he says: ADHD causes problems with hierarchical organisation What I hear, being led by the nose through time: ADHD can't get married

@killbotkane8587

4 жыл бұрын

Cool Squirtle agreed. If you have ADHD it is also wise not to have children so you don’t pass on this debilitating disability.

@justanothervote

3 жыл бұрын

@@killbotkane8587 i hope that comment was sarcastic? Hard to tell via online. But anyways, in the event you were not kidding, I beg to differ! Kids are awesome!!! Well worth any struggle in raising them! Also, Marriage is great too :) key is finding someone with the same moral value structure. Patience is a bonus as well! She deals with my add and I deal with her anxiety....we a a highly functional dysfunctional family. 10 years going strong though :)

@ReadingDave

2 жыл бұрын

I think not getting married has been my subconcious conclusion. However, I see many folks with ADHD having wonderful relationships. It might be a wild ride, but there are some who are ready for it.

@MaddieFrankX

2 жыл бұрын

@@killbotkane8587 I disagree. It is not a disability. It is just a... complication. I'll always have trouble getting to work on time, but I have always been top performer at my jobs which is how I usually avoid getting fired. I'm a data analyst and I'm considered a genius by the people I lend my services to. Quite ironic how I'm time blind, but my job consists in showing to the clients their past and forecasting their future and I'm pretty good at it. I guess we have technology to thank for that. Yes, having a kid for someone with ADHD means that he will most likely also have ADHD, and we know it is going to be a very difficult task to raise him, but if we do it right and teach him the right strategies he can be a top member of society, people with ADHD is a huge chunk of the population and if someone needs to change that's society. It wasn't build for people like us which makes it extra hard. I've held many job positions where following my schedule was meaningless for my performance, yet, it was one of my top productivity qualifiers.

wow last 10 seconds summed up my life til now and what I've been trying to figure out about myself. i dont know how i feel

5:22 Definitely not me, having a test in 2 days, being absurdly behind in what I have to study, and simply can't stop watching this to start studying.

So this is why every time I am working on a project, even though I have watched the instructional videos, taken measurements and fiddled with materials I always have to rewatch the video, retake the measurements (I wrote them down, I swear I did). This is why, even though overbuying feels irresponsible and wasteful I end up overbuying materials. (Also, every paper I wrote that required an outline, the outline was made after I wrote the paper. I can organize but not outline)

This is the most truest make sense of an ADHD explaination! 😭

Did a person with cognitive auditory processing disorder and ADHD do the subtitles? This is a great and refreshing way to explain the good heartedness and intention combined with the severe distractability that stops you from following through.

@krisCrashTV

8 жыл бұрын

+Ribbonsrabbit No, I think the subtitles are generated by a computer trying to guess word by word. Yeah, these videos are really awesome.

@krisCrashTV

8 жыл бұрын

Well that's just, like, your opinion, man. (He has ADHD as well)

This was excellent. Thank you.

Honestly it took a lot of time and mental searching to find all this out for myself just for it to have been in a youtube video all along. But at the same time sometimes I find myself being thankful for all these traits I have. Like besides financially it made my life a lot better lmao. Sometimes I have moments of clarity where its like I know everything and then moments where i'm like yea I know but I can't be bothered to do any of that right now lol its a mess fr

How do neurotypical people create a hierarchy?

I can't even plan for season changes

I know that feeling of performance disorder - I know a TON and sometimes I can use it and other times I can't, and I can't control when one or the other happens

@lyngreen3431

6 жыл бұрын

Laurie Jean YES I can go along with that one Laurie. I got 150 IQ and some days I'm up there with Einstein and other days I have to really have to think hard what my name is. Such is our life.

Dr. Barkely is giving a lecture at the time, probably about time. And had I in do time, seen the events posting on Facebook, Then I would have had time to time my finances accordingly, to attend the TimeBlindness lecture of ADHD. 🧐🤨😅

His little bit with the repetition of “time” words is very reminiscent of George Carlin !

This hurts to listen to. This just might be me. I need an appointment for a psychiatrist. I have intended to schedule one for over a week. But I haven't gotten around to it. I just lost a job despite my best intentions.

@lauriejean9306

7 жыл бұрын

Todd C don't lose hope - we are many people all over the world. your story isn't finished. there is a place for you!

@GenXer82

6 жыл бұрын

I completely feel your pain. Best thing to do is find what you're passionate about. With hope, faith, and persistence, you WILL get to where you want to be. I finally did.

@couldbe8348

6 жыл бұрын

We're with you buddy. Hope things are working out for you.

@lolopcallulu3082

3 жыл бұрын

let me know how things work out

This is very informative!

1:52 true except the drinking started before he noticed the lawn mower was out of gas.

there's no deficit in our intentions - we have great intentions. he should say this differently. he finally does say intentions aren't the problem but he should start there.

I'm not sure if it's a component of my time blindness but I find that I intend to do stuff and before I know it, a year or two have passed and I'm like "has it been that long?' (there's an element of procrastination in it too) Also, I find it very difficult to 'feel' the passage of time. Something long ago can feel like it wasn't so long ago or something recent can seem like it was much longer ago. It's a weird thing. Leads to frustration for those around me, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I can't do much to change it, so either they accept me for it or find someone else to be around... To me it's like, can you blame someone with a stutter, for not speaking clearly - yes they can work on it, and they likely do...but if you have a real problem with it...don't take it out on them. For quite a while now it's felt like the weeks and months are whizzing by...I often have to stop and think what day or month is it! What comes with that is a nagging feeling that I need to slow down or stop and look around before life passes me by...But I don't...and nothing changes - very frustrating

"Their life is a series of one crisis after another that could have been avoided" I feel VERY attacked rn.

so entirely accurate for me

4:54 this definition is crucial

Good word play.

Thank you

This is so thrutfull and so sad at once. Fighting my whole life. "One small crisis after another."

I appreciate your sense of humor very much :) You have the humor of an ADHDer. We ARE funny and witty. Did you copy / steal that from the ADHDers you worked with? Or are you yourself undiagnosed ADHDer? 😂😂😂 Your videos / lectures are great. And again, i love the jokes you make about ADHD. 😄😄😄 Greetings from the Netherlands 🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱 Where we say: A D H D = Alle Dagen Hard Drugs Which means : Hard drugs every day 😂

Do you have any talks on adult ADHD please? I really hope so because of all the hundreds of videos IV watched I really really relate to your way of explaining it etc . ( My son and I Both have ADHD ) x

@gaaneshmujumdar

3 жыл бұрын

There are videos of him explaining ADHD in adults, in the same conference. Just search in youtube and you will find them. And not to mention they are great eyeopeners.

I spent the majority of my childhood wanting to go into meteorology thanks to the movie Twister. That's a tall pyramid. It's not one a child can build alone. But I was expected to do just that, and when I truly came to understand I would receive no help even with the simplest parts, I wrote it off. You can crush a child's ability to orient towards the future by consistently making them feel like they don't have one, that it's arbitrary, or that it doesn't matter.

I never learned the skills I need now. I'm drowning from my own ADHD and trauma related to things that happened as a result of not dealing with my ADHD as it could have been. I just grew ip thinking I was a failure, so much shame was cast. I got so depressed and never dealt with that. Here I am 36 years old and being a single mom to three magnificent children, 2 with ADHD, and an infant. I learned quickly, out the gate I'm unqualified and I feel I have zero skills to help them. I'm learning but I'd like to just do my best to help them avoid the same troubles. Both were removed from school at 7 years old, and my son is still not able to get back in. I also don't entirely know how to advocate for them. I try, but again, I'm learning, and my curve curves differently. I'm doing my best, but they deserve more. One of me does not seem like enough for three wonderful beings such these. This is good because it makes it light, and that helps. I'm so tired of shame for not being on time. I never meant disrespect, I just couldn't get there on time.

This explains what I’ve been dealing with my whole life. How do I get help without health insurance?

@richardwitham7877

3 жыл бұрын

chadd.thinkific.com/enrollments

So, how do we fix this??? Medication?

It sometimes feel like I blink and boom a month has passed without progressing one thing that really helped me is block social media cold turkey just KZread is there and here everything. I see is in nightmode (black n white) make distractions unappealing pick a career that is never boring non repetitive or pick a repetitive career but balance it with hobbies and adventures these are just small thing we can do I still fail alot trust me and with this hyper individualistic culture we have here I gets even more difficult

No one seems to talk about adhd paralysis in the work space, where you’ve made yet another mistake which has been noticed, or you are on a deadline and you simply cannot think or act, from fear of failure and being exposed AGAiN. I call them ‘white ‘outs’. The body is in freeze mode, but heart racing, dry mouth, sweating, loose bowels. Also, I have been torn between catastrophising about what is going to happen years from now, to behaving impulsively like a dork in the moment not realising how my action in that moment has massive knock on effect causing huge resentment from others toward me. Most people don’t tell you how your actions have affected them, but if you are lucky, those close to you will. And it is devastating.

That sums me up in a nutshell. I don’t really have an internal clock.

ha ha its amazing how you dont notice this stuff till youre told/find out and go "ohhh thats why"

You can act with intention as long as you don't commit to anything ahead of time.

Finally a term for this else I would keep wondering always what is exactly wrong Here with ppl like us ?

Okay, now that the back half of my brain knows this, what can I do to make the front half of my brain apply it? Seriously, this was so helpful and I feel better, but what do I do about it? I can't keep going on like this.

when put it like that, neurotypicals are basically seers or precogs to us neurodivergents-they can see far into the future & plan for it in ways we can barely imagine.

This all breaks my heart, how do we help them with it?

I encounter this constantly in small ways and large ways. E.g. The other day I was sitting on the couch ready to watch a show, then I realized I needed my glasses -I got up to get my glasses, but spotted my wireless headphones. I thought "they need to be charged for work tomorrow" - so I went and got a charger, plugged them in and sat down to watch the show...no glasses again. Got up to get the glasses and thought, I'm thirsty - I should get a glass of water, so I got one, did something else....sat down again....no glasses, no water....aaagggghhh I've never done something like that gas can at the gas station but I think levels of awareness vary On the plus side, it leads to some funny stories ;-) LOL I once found my cell phone in the refrigerator after misplacing it for an hour....I'd been at the fridge with the phone in my hand...put it down on a fridge shelf to grab a can of red bull and left the phone behind....stuff like this happens ALL THE TIME