3 Ways You Can Improve Emotional Regulation Using DBT

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DBT is an incredibly useful tool when it comes to managing emotions. In fact, there is an entire module of this treatment dedicated to emotional regulation. In this interview, triple board-certified neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho and MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson discuss...
1. What role do emotions biologically play in our behavior and how we respond to conflict?
2. What comes first, the behavior or the emotion?
3. How can someone reduce overly emotional responses using mindfulness?
4. What are the 3 goals of the emotional regulation model of DBT?
5. What are some examples of how we tend to be vulnerable towards emotions like sadness, denial, anger, fear, and happiness?
6. What are some ways people may incorrectly express their emotion?
7. How can someone start utilizing "emotion words"?
And more.
Thanks for watching our KZread video! Watch more educational videos from Dr. Judy HERE: bit.ly/381AbIv

Пікірлер: 220

  • @MedCircle
    @MedCircle3 жыл бұрын

    Watch the rest of this series on effective ways to improve your emotional health (featuring Dr. Judy Ho) HERE: bit.ly/3ettuBv

  • @xlauriestarchildstudios7777

    @xlauriestarchildstudios7777

    2 жыл бұрын

    Please read moderators: Emotions are AMPLIFIED for me. I have alot of early trauma...but i was put in emotional charge of my parents at age 3....i was the emotional external hard drive and they literally gave me responsibility for their emotions and ensuing reactions. To survive since age 3 i had to divert my emotions. The grownups were COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL. I was in the middle of EVERYTHING SINCE AGE 3. You can only imagine the suffering i have experienced because of the broken people i naturally allowed into my life. I am tired. I dont want to walk in the park. I want to love and indulge the part of me that was traumatized. I want to lovingly reintegrate all those frozen frightened pieces of me.. I want them to feel safe enough to come home.xo

  • @Bubbleetuna

    @Bubbleetuna

    8 ай бұрын

    ​@xlauriestarchildstudios7777 I hate to be the one to tell you this but imagine nobody cares seriously nobody asked. That's how the public looks at your concerns its not a problem to them that you're in pain. Only you feel it and your heart amplifies it to others. You change your brain wave to put on a mask if you don't want people to know you're sad. It takes part of your total life energy potential to be focusing it basically like a blockage at the crown Chakra or below it I don't know them all but yeah. You have to do it alone it's just how it is I'm sorry No therapist would be allowed to tell you that and be paid for it The crown is your pineal gland or third eye. Think of would you rather be blind or deaf almost everyone would say deaf even though everybody likes music. Point is you can still understand the enjoyment of music if you are deaf like mozart.

  • @peacefreedom4930
    @peacefreedom49303 жыл бұрын

    When your parents don’t allow you to express emotions as a child you do not know what you feel, or how to deal with emotions when you’re an adult. I’ve spent my entire life stuffing my emotions and it’s made me physically ill.

  • @slurp451

    @slurp451

    2 жыл бұрын

    I know it's difficult, but now you have the knowledge to start re-train yourself to get in touch with your emotions. It's gonna be a long trip, but the most meaningful of your life. Take care

  • @shyaaammeneen63

    @shyaaammeneen63

    2 жыл бұрын

    Peace Freedom, In life there are only 2 problems --mind and the body. To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related causing stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Change happens from within by itself. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, at office, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.

  • @xlauriestarchildstudios7777

    @xlauriestarchildstudios7777

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@shyaaammeneen63 wow. Ur comment has just changed my life.xo

  • @shyaaammeneen63

    @shyaaammeneen63

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@xlauriestarchildstudios7777 Only you can change your life. Develop your mental muscles. Since many years I have made it a habit to observe my breath sensations even during my normal activities and I am feeling relaxed and healthy. Anywhere-anytime it can be done. The best part is nobody comes to know that you are doing the breath observing practice as there is no deep breathing or sound. Reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Read my msg and do the practice regularly. Best wishes. Senior counsellor.

  • @shyvondraholder4280

    @shyvondraholder4280

    2 жыл бұрын

    I’m 27 and lost on even having a conversation with a person.

  • @amoyscarlett3170
    @amoyscarlett31704 жыл бұрын

    Omg when she said "sadness is communicating a need" She is the besttttt!!!!

  • @JudyHoPhD

    @JudyHoPhD

    4 жыл бұрын

    aw thank you Amoy!! :)

  • @amoyscarlett3170

    @amoyscarlett3170

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@JudyHoPhD You are so welcome,hoping to here more from you,phenomenal woman.

  • @veiraiduleeshe2895

    @veiraiduleeshe2895

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@JudyHoPhD youre awesome. Ive learned so much. Thanks🤗

  • @MrKikessa

    @MrKikessa

    3 жыл бұрын

    she is hot and her voice is also sexy

  • @coralecho2485
    @coralecho24853 жыл бұрын

    3:00 Forcing myself to do things only made me resentful and made the situation worse. When I started listening to what my emotion was telling me, I finally was able to unstuck myself and feel free

  • @srolesen

    @srolesen

    3 жыл бұрын

    Exactly, makes you feel dead inside over time. If you pay attention it was actually what he was doing for a long long time, constantly packing away "wrong emotions" "putting on a smile" "dressing up in a new suit" packing away all the stuff. What she is doing is justifying and enabling him with the tools and moral impetus to further disconnect from himself and live fueled by pretend and fueled by some therapist or other codependent person constantly filling him up with enough fakefeels to continually overshadow the growing garbagedump of "wrongfeels" If she was more direct about her approach she'd say stuff like "when you feel bad about yourself go on twitter and post something a person that's good would say about people that are bad and replace your own feelings with likes and response because your inner self is entirely made up of how people respond to you" On the therapy train, end station narcissism.

  • @coralecho2485

    @coralecho2485

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@srolesen Good catch. I think that is the reason why therapy isn't working for some people. Even worse, just medicate them and ignore the real issues. Some concepts presented by DBT are indeed helpful, but it is all very generalized and dehumanized to me. Ironically, my suicidality finally subsided only when I truly felt it is MY choice if I want to live or die. I have discovered this way of thinking for the first time in Gabor Maté's books. He writes about issues that arise from having to choose between authenticity and survival at some point in our lives. After a lifetime of being forced into molds and roles, tailored to fit, labeled... I have realized my mental issues are just signals telling me something is wrong with the way I was living. Ad this wrong is not on me. I am actually thankful to my "GAD, MDD, OCD and DDD" for not allowing me to stay nice and quiet in an abusive setting. I now see it as a "normal reaction to an abnormal situation" (Victor Frankl). Labeling emotions as good or bad, and removing the "bad ones" is a very lazy way to explain human experience. Yeah, there are painful emotions, but they are not bad, they are just as needed to our survival as the pleasurable ones. I think this view is present in DBT itself, but not many therapists care. They focus mostly on removing the symtoms rather than addressing the reason which has caused the problem in the first place.

  • @srolesen

    @srolesen

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@coralecho2485 I like your perspective on authenticity and deeply recognize how at some points in time it can conflict with survival. But I think for me that conflict came out in difficult ways once I had gotten distance to people like that therapist and what looked like "wrong emotions at wrong times" were actually signs of much deeper baggage I needed to deal with. Problem is CBT therapy and one therapist in particular was dead set on using that CBT hammer to nail down all the things as whatever would jump to solution the fastest instead of dealing with that impossible baggage at a lower stress time (like therapy) My aunt killed herself in defiance and obedience to a really difficult family and in an odd way I think she saved me from doing the same. Dealing with the actual thing instead of shrink mindwhackery was so much better for me, like actually sorting out the wrongfeels and all the things but it was done with that therapist protesting, objecting and trying to distract all the way. I feel and function so much better now and I hope you do too, but seeing her talk like that, watching how and when she twirls her heels and the cold eyed smirk is such an odd déjà vu that I cannot quite reconcile with.

  • @coralecho2485

    @coralecho2485

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@srolesen Wow, I get you. So strange, I have watch this video a month ago and I didn't need to watch it again to remember her twirling her heels, and I know this smirk you are talking about. I think it is about asserting dominance, some psychiatrists and therapists do that and it turns me off really badly. We need and deserve compassion and understanding, not someone telling us what to do, how to behave etc. That actually might be the reason why we are dealing with all this in the first place! When you said they would just jump to solutions right away, I felt that. We can feel they are not listening, not ACTUALLY trying to help. It's actually really disturbing, seeing how many mental health professionals are not fit for the job Idk about this lady, this is the only video I watched of her, but I do feel where you're coming from. I'm truly glad you are feeling better, it is the result of your hard work. English is not my first language, but I can feel how eloquent and clear are your sentences and can sense your strong mind. Maybe that trait has helped you to see trought that therapist and see yout situation for what it is. So many people get easily manipulated by the superficial charm and actually trust any authority without a second thought...

  • @shyaaammeneen63

    @shyaaammeneen63

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@srolesen 60,000 thoughts a day. To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related causing stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Change happens from within by itself. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, at office, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.

  • @Ehnelohad
    @Ehnelohad4 жыл бұрын

    It's very difficult to retrain your self to describe what you're feeling when your whole life has been dedicated to hide your emotions. Maybe that's why I love emojis 😂

  • @misscelinateloexplica

    @misscelinateloexplica

    4 жыл бұрын

    I think you are describing how you feel through the emojis. You associate your emotions to each "drawing" maybe they aren't words but they are symbols representing you. You developed an excellent strategy.

  • @she_sings_delightful_things

    @she_sings_delightful_things

    3 жыл бұрын

    😥❤

  • @jclyntoledo

    @jclyntoledo

    2 жыл бұрын

    Damn 😳 I do love emojis

  • @kosiii

    @kosiii

    2 жыл бұрын

    Wowwwww yep. I relate

  • @rebeccagrace1509

    @rebeccagrace1509

    2 жыл бұрын

    🥲Me tooo🙏🏽💌🌌

  • @ujoepost
    @ujoepost3 жыл бұрын

    DBT needs to be part of school curriculum

  • @lisajohnson6351

    @lisajohnson6351

    3 жыл бұрын

    Like financial literacy, but emotional and poor people are amazingly easy to manipulate

  • @Catlily5

    @Catlily5

    3 жыл бұрын

    I have been saying this for years!

  • @adrianmonk4440

    @adrianmonk4440

    2 жыл бұрын

    BING0 !!! Include in later Elementatey school curriculum so situations are not acted out in sex, fighting, and 9mm GUNS. Give children a FEELINGS VOCABULARY.

  • @willywilemina227

    @willywilemina227

    Жыл бұрын

    Made it part of my kids home school curriculum

  • @lovelylinda8891

    @lovelylinda8891

    Жыл бұрын

    AGREED!

  • @lexilexi6362
    @lexilexi63622 жыл бұрын

    I’m having a hard time. Because when I express myself I start to cry and then people think I’m crazy or getting too attached to them when I’m just trying to be understood. So I just be quiet and alone.

  • @user-nl2qk4up1u

    @user-nl2qk4up1u

    Жыл бұрын

    I can relate so much

  • @intensetoinsane4619

    @intensetoinsane4619

    Жыл бұрын

    Contact peer therapist, you will feel better. :)

  • @age93

    @age93

    10 ай бұрын

    The issue is the people you're trying to connect with. Stop going to those people. You can only do so much in a unhealthy environment with toxic people. The circumstances have to be right.

  • @0029cost
    @0029cost4 жыл бұрын

    “They feel so clogged up” ...spot on! Putting the words to the emotions has been my focus through COVID. Thank you both for this video!

  • @rhythmictiger
    @rhythmictiger4 жыл бұрын

    Holy flip, my ex used to say 'that's interesting' about literally everything and I learned to translate that into 'I hated that, or that made me feel uncomfortable' through nuance in tone. Thinking back he never used emotion words.

  • @alifmuhammadchicago
    @alifmuhammadchicago4 жыл бұрын

    Yyyyyyyyyikes. Alexithymia, to be clear, is NOT denial of the existence of the feelings that are perceived. It is the experience of people with emotional responses that are too somatically and neurologically complex to be properly defined with the language they currently possess. There is discomfort when such a person says "coziness" when experiencing the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm, when the more proper word is "sonder". Lacking this increased repertoire of emotional vocabulary robs such people of the ability to be in touch with the complexities of their typically distinct and elusive feelings. Edit: I'm so sorry! The word is "chrysalism", not "sonder". My fault.

  • @Blueshadow2772

    @Blueshadow2772

    4 жыл бұрын

    I agree! With someone who has the alexithymia trait. You summarised it perfectly:)

  • @nikitashutkov1804

    @nikitashutkov1804

    3 жыл бұрын

    Nicely put, thanks)

  • @darrademigod

    @darrademigod

    2 жыл бұрын

    that is interesting. that's why in vipassana we just "experience" the emotions instead of verbalising them.

  • @rebeccagrace1509

    @rebeccagrace1509

    2 жыл бұрын

    Beautiful... Am I cozy too often then?😆 Love me some cozy. Cozy is THE Best tho🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @alifmuhammadchicago

    @alifmuhammadchicago

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@rebeccagrace1509 Cozy does make it all worth it. Do you like the idea of discovering refined vocabulary for such feelings? For instance, is it satisfying to have a palette 🎨 of words to describe various types of cozy? The *chrysalism* of a warm home on a stormy day... The *klexos* you practice when you reexamine what you used to call "mistakes"?

  • @brusselsprout5851
    @brusselsprout58514 жыл бұрын

    This can be applied is so many areas of mental health work. PTSD & hopefully CPTSD, too. Excellent.

  • @margeryredd
    @margeryredd Жыл бұрын

    Just don't go out and partake in bad habits... Don't get up to go shopping... Get up for the shower and being refreshed. Don't get up to go meet a friend at the bar. Get up, get dressed, get going and get out of your head. The best way I have found is to volunteer or so something for someone or something else so you can get out of your head. ❤️

  • @age93

    @age93

    10 ай бұрын

    If it was that easy to do, it wouldn't be so a common problem. People with these issues has severe trauma, and stress shuts off the thinking brain. That's why support and environmental factors are crucial in success. When you're in survival, the brain doesn't care if something is good or bad. It's a means to protect you. Trying to stop a "habit" your brain associates with safety, is like not wanting to eat when you're hungry. Its physiological.

  • @xlauriestarchildstudios7777
    @xlauriestarchildstudios77772 жыл бұрын

    Emotions are AMPLIFIED for me. I have alot of early trauma...but i was put in emotional charge of my parents at age 3....i was the emotional external hard drive and they literally gave me responsibility for their emotions and ensuing reactions. To survive since age 3 i had to divert my emotions. The grownups were COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL. I was in the middle of EVERYTHING SINCE AGE 3. You can only imagine the suffering i have experienced because of the broken people i naturally allowed into my life. I am tired. I dont want to walk in the park. I want to love and indulge the part of me that was traumatized. I want to lovingly reintegrate all those frozen frightened pieces of me.. I want them to feel safe enough to come home.xo

  • @JiaFit

    @JiaFit

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sending you so much love and strength. You didn't get to experience a joyful, loving and caring childhood that you deserved. Now as an adult you must be the parent to yourself (and your wounded inner child) to give yourself everything you ever needed and will need. I am going to post a video on inner child healing and it's going to be dedicated to you. Please let me know what other topics you'd like videos on too. Jia x

  • @xlauriestarchildstudios7777

    @xlauriestarchildstudios7777

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@JiaFit xoxoxoxoxo

  • @kelkuchel886
    @kelkuchel8863 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for making this series available. It has really helped me identify my BPD and get the appropriate treatment for it. Even when there are days when I’m feeling withdrawn and all I want to do is lie in bed and watch KZread, there is always one of these videos popping up in my recommendations encouraging me to keep going. So, thank you.

  • @MedCircle

    @MedCircle

    2 жыл бұрын

    We are so glad it helped 💙

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321-4 жыл бұрын

    emotion regulation through DBT skills are the best!! "its okay to feel what you feel" helps!! also.. theres no wrong to how you feel.

  • @Bubbleetuna

    @Bubbleetuna

    8 ай бұрын

    If you had no emotional regulation and people chose to feed off of that energy because you didn't have a barrier it was always broken before you could even get a shield then you are like dang the character is weak lol. But the shield in games is always infinite if you can pull the clock. In zombies though each wave is harder than the last with more zombies so you have to improve no matter what even if you like the first gun that was on the wall. I know these call of duty references probably don't matter, but this is the only place I would post this

  • @hidden_place
    @hidden_place3 жыл бұрын

    Dr. Judy Ho is awesome!!

  • @Blueshadow2772
    @Blueshadow27724 жыл бұрын

    Please do a video on ASD as it has a huge stigma attached to it. I feel Med Circle has a huge platform to give their audience the right information.

  • @Genam888
    @Genam8883 жыл бұрын

    Clients aren’t “resistant”. If they’re not responding how you expect them to it’s because you as the clinician are not approaching them effectively. It’s odd she called her clients resistant then said once she switched up her approach her clients responded differently. I think that’s enough proof that clinicians play the biggest role.

  • @xlauriestarchildstudios7777

    @xlauriestarchildstudios7777

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes! I agree. So much of what she said also felt disingenuous. I dont know how to fake shit. I am honesty.

  • @bananamanchester4156

    @bananamanchester4156

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@xlauriestarchildstudios7777 Actually, the client plays just as big a role in therapy as the clinician. In fact one of the main conditions for person-centred therapy is that the client needs to be "ready" for therapy. Clients aren't always ready to examine their behavioural patterns or delve into their trauma, and as a clinician you could offer them every technique under the sun to no avail. I don't know if it was deliberate or not, but you make it sound like if a course of therapy isn't going well, the clinician is to blame for not being good enough

  • @noneofyourbuizness

    @noneofyourbuizness

    2 жыл бұрын

    This is the difference witha real therapist, the first thing they do before starting anything is create a safe environment. Yes some client will need a lil bit more time to start openning about themselves . But establishing a safe place is so important

  • @curnies

    @curnies

    2 жыл бұрын

    If someone is approaching the client in an ineffective way, they will be met with resistance... that's just truthful in some cases. Just because it may be the clinicians fault for approaching in an ineffective way, does not mean there is not resistance?

  • @halothman1500
    @halothman15004 жыл бұрын

    She nailed you Kyle this girl is good at what she is doing 👍👍

  • @alejandracollazos9875
    @alejandracollazos9875 Жыл бұрын

    this is gold. Thank you Dr. Definitely going to look her up

  • @mariapesteban5558
    @mariapesteban55583 жыл бұрын

    Really valued this discussion. Thank you 🙏

  • @GamesCooky
    @GamesCooky3 жыл бұрын

    I hear many people say that psychopaths don't have emotions. I think even psychopaths have emotions to some extent, but that they're just not as strong as neurotypicals. Some of their emotions might even be so weak that they don't even feel them. But they're still there right? Psychopathy is a whole other topic that is so vast.

  • @IamCree
    @IamCree3 жыл бұрын

    When I act in opposite, it leads to burnout and feelings of self betrayal and the opposite of self care/validation. Definitely not helpful in the long run

  • @rougesunset
    @rougesunset3 жыл бұрын

    I have alexithymia :( it’s hard to know what I’m feeling if I don’t have a related experience to connect it to. I know I feel emotions but it takes processing to know how to describe it. I’m autistic.

  • @sunnybein1

    @sunnybein1

    Жыл бұрын

    Alex please look up Kelly Mahler's Interoception curriculum which will help you feel..identify and name your emotions/feelings.

  • @SandraDelRey777
    @SandraDelRey7774 жыл бұрын

    🥺💛 thank you for this

  • @johnoprendek2620
    @johnoprendek26204 жыл бұрын

    This gives me some new found hope Thank you for the experience! Woot!

  • @JudyHoPhD

    @JudyHoPhD

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yay John! So glad to hear.

  • @catdey
    @catdey11 ай бұрын

    I don't know if all people with Alexithymia just "dont accept it" I personally have some struggle explaining my emotions and understanding what is causing it, but still understand Im feeling bad. It can take me days sometimes to understand and figure out what I need. It feels a lot like walking in a dense fog, trying to figure out where to go. Papers with description words or a list of things that cause emotional regulation issues (food, water, sleep, sensory issues, ect) is certainly helpful for speeding up the process, sort of like how a gps would help ypu move through dense fog faster.

  • @michelle21000
    @michelle21000Ай бұрын

    Thanks for telling me how to self regulation as an adult that is good advice

  • @kaylabarr7432
    @kaylabarr7432 Жыл бұрын

    I'd love some guidance on how to handle it when you identify the need but the need can't be met. What if the need is healthcare or affordable housing or not being afraid of being shot every time you leave the house. How does one function through emotional alerts that can't be fixed by an individual?

  • @misspauline1958
    @misspauline19584 жыл бұрын

    I feel negative and positive feeling I can’t neglect either! I cannot ignore negative feelings but I can always ADD positive feelings. 😃

  • @andreafink738
    @andreafink738 Жыл бұрын

    Holy crap that line about “emotions convey an unmet need” made it all click! Thank you so much. Omg

  • @sacheanarudy8833
    @sacheanarudy88334 жыл бұрын

    I like to think on this. If you can identify why you feel sad for instance or why you're stressed then there is always a solution. I love that part about emotions. But they don't feel great when they're bad. Lol

  • @marjoriemartinez9973
    @marjoriemartinez9973 Жыл бұрын

    Finally Allowing myself to feel my emotions has made a huge difference in my brain, i was never allowed to feel or speak up and it all turned into depression and reactive abuse

  • @ginnymay8965
    @ginnymay896511 ай бұрын

    5:31 yes as an autistic and ADHDer I find it very difficult to put my emotions into words, sometimes. But I’m also very gifted in articulating my emotions and feelings because that’s my special interest! I LOVE TO UNDERSTAND MYSELF AND MY EMOTIONS!! So I research what they mean to a enormous degree! Sometimes people say that I can be a bit umm.. blabber mouth? Because I talk so much about my favourite interests! So I need to be mindful about umm.. I need to be mindful about there time? I think that’s the word.. I struggle to know when to talk to someone.. I struggle with time management and prioritise when I SHOULD talk to someone. So umm yeah.

  • @STEVOLOVESTHAILAND
    @STEVOLOVESTHAILAND3 жыл бұрын

    Im so exhausted from this, im so stupid I can't control. I just need the pain to stop😢

  • @chelseagirl278

    @chelseagirl278

    3 жыл бұрын

    i am so sorry, please look into a DBT workbook by Matthew McKay PhD it is very helpful! take care

  • @emoluv190
    @emoluv190 Жыл бұрын

    I was going to mention Alexathymia, and then you mentioned it. 😁 I definitely suffer with it, as somebody on the ASD spectrum. And also I struggle with Emotional detachment. :( I really hope these videos help me get better.

  • @candiceburch4404
    @candiceburch4404 Жыл бұрын

    Love these videos

  • @dianamccandless7094
    @dianamccandless7094 Жыл бұрын

    He "doesn't have emotions" because he's on Anti-depressants (he told us so in the first part of the session, another video). I'm finding that the SSRI's suppress your entire nervous system, and once you taper off them, you realize that you just have to learn how to say NO to people, assert your boundaries, and enforce consequences of boundary violations. Have a homeless person stay at your house, and you will find that you have emotions.

  • @Blueshadow2772
    @Blueshadow27724 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for this video:) but I disagree. With someone who has the alexithymia trait. It's not like I am in denial in what I am feeling. My personal experience of it: it takes awhile to process an emotion. I don't feel it staight away I feel it more strongly in physical sensations like a headache. So that makes it tricky to identify the emotion.

  • @misscelinateloexplica

    @misscelinateloexplica

    4 жыл бұрын

    Hi, opposite here doesn't mean to deny your emotions it means to do the opposite action if it's more effective than going according to it. For example: if you go to the store and they don't give you your exact change you will feel anger, then you can act according to your emotion and yell at the clerk but if it isn't effective then you choose to act opposite to your emotion you ask nicely to the clerk to check the change he gave you in order to get your money. You choose to act opposite to your emotion when is a better strategy to get what you need.

  • @misscelinateloexplica

    @misscelinateloexplica

    4 жыл бұрын

    Also, here in the first module of DBT through mindfulness there teach you how to identify the emotions with your physical reactions. The manual has worksheets with the physical reactions related to the 10 universal emotions.

  • @rossanapettersen
    @rossanapettersen3 жыл бұрын

    Excellent information! Thank you. Ps. I think the lightning or something is making her hair look greenish

  • @Ellenweiss1
    @Ellenweiss14 ай бұрын

    I wanted to make a comment, as someone who has intense emotions and often finds it hard to label them. And I've done a bunch of DBT. As a creative person....I am oriented towards expressing my emotions with art, music, dance....also with metaphor in song writing. For some it's just harder to put direct words to your experience. And sometimes it's easier or more difficult than others.

  • @rjcinco6098
    @rjcinco60987 ай бұрын

    Emotions cant technically be controlled but u can direct it , i agree with it 100% , when someone is arguing with you , you just do something while they’re talking to you and really just focus and direct your emotion to one particular thing your emotion will follow you.. and you’ll forget that your even hurt or mad.

  • @kierlak
    @kierlak4 ай бұрын

    I am surprised that this video doesn't include self-compassion... I like the end of the video. Linking emotions with unmet needs. And in my view emotions can also be linked to our unmet needs when we were growing up.

  • @scottthomas5819
    @scottthomas5819 Жыл бұрын

    Yes

  • @jonniemaemiddletonlotte6747
    @jonniemaemiddletonlotte67472 жыл бұрын

    My what good direction.

  • @Blossom44100
    @Blossom441006 күн бұрын

    What if you have too many triggers will this still help)

  • @shyaaammeneen63
    @shyaaammeneen632 жыл бұрын

    Nice video. Be joyful by your nature. To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related causing stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Change happens from within by itself. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, at office, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.

  • @BrandonD
    @BrandonD Жыл бұрын

    You’ve got me feeling EMOTIONS! …que Mariah

  • @STEVOLOVESTHAILAND
    @STEVOLOVESTHAILAND3 жыл бұрын

    😢😢😢😢 im always crying

  • @Wonderfeel__
    @Wonderfeel__ Жыл бұрын

    I like the acceptance part. But I have serious reservations about the suppression part.

  • @jamlaw
    @jamlaw10 ай бұрын

    If I identify a need but don't know how to get it met, what can I do? For example, if you need to have closeness or understanding from someone but they aren't able or willing to give it, then what do you do? I can talk to a therapist maybe or a friend, but not being able to have it with the person who i want it with (in this case, some family members) still hurts and causes the sadness (or whatever feeling) in the first place.

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321-4 жыл бұрын

    I love the describing but I had to thumbs down for saying "negative emotions. " theres catastrafisizing but not negative emotions. people may feel anger but it's whats done with the anger.

  • @reeserelli9011
    @reeserelli90115 ай бұрын

    I found out that I like sad movies because I can be empathetic to the characters and cry for them and the release is cathartic and needed it

  • @midnightmoviefilm
    @midnightmoviefilm4 жыл бұрын

    What painting is that in the living room??

  • @JiaFit
    @JiaFit2 жыл бұрын

    I just did a video on the 6-step process of how I emotionally regulate

  • @jyotivyas9286
    @jyotivyas9286 Жыл бұрын

    Understanding your emotions,Reducing your Vulnerability to Decision making and Impulses that might take over Us negative emotions and . Good lifestyle getting enough sleep,having a good diet and Exercise.Self Care and thirdly ,Decrease Emotional Suffering...🎉🎉🎉

  • @user-cg6ls6bq1y
    @user-cg6ls6bq1y9 ай бұрын

    What I did to someone was when she said someone that was scary I would lash out. Fight instead of saying what I was feeling. Now she won't text with me anymore.

  • @elmamedosevickorjenic9052
    @elmamedosevickorjenic90524 жыл бұрын

    Please make a video about life after suicide of loved one. You are the best!

  • @Ehnelohad

    @Ehnelohad

    4 жыл бұрын

    I would also appreciate that.

  • @MedCircle

    @MedCircle

    4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing this idea. We will absolutely add it to our list of topics to cover.

  • @elmamedosevickorjenic9052

    @elmamedosevickorjenic9052

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@MedCircle Thank you so much.

  • @shyaaammeneen63

    @shyaaammeneen63

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@elmamedosevickorjenic9052 To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related causing stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Change happens from within by itself. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, at office, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.

  • @bounhomesirisavath3777
    @bounhomesirisavath37772 жыл бұрын

    Gifts subscribe thumbs Up to Dr. Judy I love love her talk

  • @ices3456
    @ices34563 жыл бұрын

    So if you are sad not meeting a need and this continues without you resolving.Does'nt the sadness turn into anger? So you can say anger is unresolved sadness which has not been addressed.

  • @intensetoinsane4619

    @intensetoinsane4619

    Жыл бұрын

    Exactly. You have to figure out why you are feeling sad. After that you have to work on that. If you resolved it. You will bounce back to emotional balanced phase if you aren't able to fix it other emotion (anger+ sadness) will overpowered you mental peace.

  • @user-dp9yd4uq8p
    @user-dp9yd4uq8p4 ай бұрын

    第一目标是理解自己的情绪,知道它们是什么,了解它们对我们的作用。 情绪可以帮助我们沟通,激励我们的行动,并且有时会自我确认。 第二目标是减少情绪决策和负面情绪的脆弱性。 通过良好的生活方式选择,如充足睡眠、良好饮食和锻炼,来减少情绪脆弱性。 第三目标是减少情绪苦难。 通过正念技巧和反向行动来减轻痛苦情绪。 第一目标对于理解情绪和使用情感词汇非常重要。 情感词汇的重要性在于帮助理解自己的情绪经历和在治疗过程中的作用。 有些人可能患有感情词汇障碍,难以描述自己的情绪经历。 对于这些人来说,接受自己拥有情绪是非常重要的,这有助于管理生活和情绪。 知道情绪是不可避免的,是每个人的一部分,是生物学的基本事实,对于理解和处理情绪非常重要

  • @mrbivens2204
    @mrbivens22043 ай бұрын

    Question? Really looking for insight... isn't ignoring what is bothering you by pretending your the opposite feeling just stuff the issue down to come back-up later.?? I understand we can control our mood with our mind, but shouldn't we understand why we are feeling this way instead of ignoring it?

  • @jyotivyas9286
    @jyotivyas9286 Жыл бұрын

    Reduce that Vulnerability through Meditation Smriti Vivek Reminding yourself again and Again. 🎉

  • @rosalynjolly2565
    @rosalynjolly25652 жыл бұрын

    Can feelgood and bad joy joy joy down in my ❤

  • @allaynawilson4793
    @allaynawilson47933 жыл бұрын

    Forgive me for saying so, you can take this or leave but I just want to merely point out that the impression I get of this woman is not what this means to her but rather as a well articulated and characterized school of thought and ideas not unlike an academic understanding as opposed to one that necessarily speaks to a greater purpose in life. It's unfortunate for me because coming from a background in which I have met with countless unsolicited recommendations to a school of thought that an 8 year old can understand academically, I was hoping for an account of how self awareness was worth caring about and why I might also care.

  • @allaynawilson4793

    @allaynawilson4793

    3 жыл бұрын

    Unless I'm understanding correctly that your husband or bf or whatever changed his mind after you had yours made up and left you, and you were so desperate to get back what you had that it started causing problems for other people and you lost friends in which you *had* to do this for to get them back (if you even got them back, and not that it's really unreasonable for you to want that) like I don't know, I just don't really get the impression that the woman in this video really believes in the message she is trying to convey or can't personally relate to any value in it. If she could I would believe that she could, but I can't believe because I personally very clearly see this is an empty handed reiteration of a text book school of thought. It's none of my business, and I'm not here to judge, but if what you hope to accomplish is to gain my trust and sell me an idea or a product you will need to demonstrate a sense of confidence in that you can personally relate to why what you're selling me is worthy. Did you actually give your life a greater or purpose or is it a "good enough" vehicle to satisfy somebody else in your life who would not otherwise want anything to do with you unless they had it to hold over your head (eg: a means to reduce you to something that the other person in your life can control when you want too much from them or things aren't going their way?)

  • @mamlas9494
    @mamlas94944 жыл бұрын

    Belief is not what you go about when it comes to emotions. Emotions are an experience of the the soul as well as information, or tools for action, they are manifastions of energy. Yoga has been around for housands of years and is designed to regulate emotions too. The body postures have an immediate effect on the emotional state as well as the breathing techniques. I disagree with doing the opposite of what your body signals for you. Do you want to keep lying not only to the outer world but to yourself too? Processing emotions is the way for healing, NOT supression!! You cannot just pretend you are well. How disrespectful that is to your system when it is signalling to you to change something in your life. If someone reseaches vitamins and minerals for wellbeing will definitely find the cure for depression too! Taking Omega 3s and vitamin D3 are basic in keeping good emotional state, but do add complex organic Vitamin-Bs (B5 especially!). Stay well!!

  • @misscelinateloexplica

    @misscelinateloexplica

    4 жыл бұрын

    Hi! I already went through DBT. I want to explain what Opposite means here. For each emotion they give you some effective strategies to respond. For example if you are feeling fear you can go with your emotion and hide but if hidding isn't the best action to do, then you need to do the opposite. To put this clearly if you are feeling fear because you woke up late today and you know you're going to be late at work or at school you can choose between to options: 1st act according to your emotion: hide, then don't leave your bed, or act opposite to your emotion. Stand up and with all your fear go out and go to work or school. With DBT you learn to choose the most effective action, you never suppress your emotions, you learn to choose between acting according or opposite to them considering what is more effective. On the other hand, if you go to the store and then someone comes in with a gun threatening everyone, you will feel fear. The most effective action will be hidding. On DBT you learn to regulate your emotions and never, never suppress them. On the first module of DBT you learn about your emotions, their function and the message each emotion is telling you. On the second module you learn to regulate your emotions. I hope this was helpful.

  • @misscelinateloexplica

    @misscelinateloexplica

    4 жыл бұрын

    siniša tkalčić I'm thinking about doing a video explaining what it's like to develop skills in DBT. Do you think if would be helpful?

  • @dreamweaver444

    @dreamweaver444

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@misscelinateloexplica but people who severely need DBT don’t even have the ability to do those things. In that case, it absolutely feels like suppression, and I would never be able to go to school feeling that way! I would lose my mind!

  • @misscelinateloexplica

    @misscelinateloexplica

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@dreamweaver444 hi, I understand you. I used to feel exactly like you. Have you looked for DBT help at the Marsha institute? She "invented" the therapy and helps people in the states.

  • @dreamweaver444

    @dreamweaver444

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@misscelinateloexplica I looked into the original workbook last night I think I’m going to try it, but not something I’m looking forward to! Lol. I’m so glad u had such a positive outcome, especially with BPD !! I’m sure it’s more worth it in the end than the anxiety it causes up front!

  • @jyotivyas9286
    @jyotivyas9286 Жыл бұрын

    Emotional Denial Remembering 🎉👍👌💐😊Accept that We Have Emotions 👍👌💐😊😊😅Thank you to all

  • @musiclistener28
    @musiclistener283 жыл бұрын

    So essentially faking it helps you emotionally regulate? 😅

  • @jadore23dior
    @jadore23dior2 жыл бұрын

    I wish going outside fixed my suicidal thoughts. I’m carrying on, pretending to be happy. I don’t know what I need from life

  • @Suedepants100

    @Suedepants100

    2 жыл бұрын

    Jesus loves you! i would suggest seeking therapy, immediately. you are needed here and wanted!

  • @Davey-TheDJ
    @Davey-TheDJ2 ай бұрын

    How about 3 ways to regulate emotions using CBT? I really don't know anything about DBT that's because I was kicked out of EBT for Protecting President Clinton during the my first session with DBT program in Portland Maine

  • @88niteowl88
    @88niteowl882 жыл бұрын

    Tfs. This was so helpful. To everyone reading this, Jesus loves you.

  • @Slarti
    @Slarti4 жыл бұрын

    This sounds a bit like the communication Marshal Rosenberg teaches.

  • @zohaakhtar5293
    @zohaakhtar5293 Жыл бұрын

    Easier said than done sis

  • @ChefMarkyMarkz
    @ChefMarkyMarkz6 ай бұрын

    Cute DR.

  • @sacmakiz
    @sacmakiz Жыл бұрын

    3:00 This is why I don't like DBT. It has a tendency to shame 'negative' feelings and force you to 'feel' something else. Whereas IFS completely gives space and room to explore what is happening inside of you in a non judgmental, non pathologizing way to feel, process and make sense of what is that emotion trying to teach you or tell you, so that you can lead a more "wholesome" life.

  • @Bubbleetuna
    @Bubbleetuna8 ай бұрын

    Im not a doctor, but when he asked how to use denial when it's out of our awareness. That just means the emotions are controlling you, if you are unaware of them. You're not regulating them, and instead are using defensive mechanism because there is fear along with it, so the sponge doesn't know the difference between clean water from the sink and the dirtiness of your dishes. The sponge soaks up everything. But obviously, you wouldn't purposefully wash dishes with a moldy sponge. To use denial, I would say you have to practice denial. And how the middle east views it religiously would be through fasting. Fourty and the desert or Ramadan

  • @Bubbleetuna

    @Bubbleetuna

    8 ай бұрын

    Don't know if that makes sense to anyone other than me, lol, but it's hard to show emotion online

  • @Bubbleetuna

    @Bubbleetuna

    8 ай бұрын

    But I will finish the video now I had to dump that out of my brain first so I could pay attention to the latter bit of her response now

  • @xlauriestarchildstudios7777
    @xlauriestarchildstudios77772 жыл бұрын

    Dont we all live in denial about some of our pain everyday ? Thats how i learned to live my life. Now im confused.

  • @dcornect53
    @dcornect533 жыл бұрын

    The first tip is "ignore your emotions by not ignoring your emotions." What quacks

  • @Catlily5

    @Catlily5

    3 жыл бұрын

    It doesn't say that in DBT.

  • @sassycherry5067
    @sassycherry5067 Жыл бұрын

    It’s so crazy how much you can interpret interactions for example I got that the interviewer was giving her some sass and she was kind of talking to him in a way like saying we need practice mindfulness cough cough lol like the male was feeling small compared to her, the passive agressive hmmmmmmmm 😂 I cannot the interviewer was not giving good vibes… it was half and half

  • @happybergner9832
    @happybergner98322 жыл бұрын

    Accept means, "recognizing it exists as FACT " Accept does NOT mean, "I like this "

  • @Paul-hn8en
    @Paul-hn8en Жыл бұрын

    Part of me is very intrigued by this in helping heal childhood trauma, but my inner child won't stop thinking "dick and ball torture"

  • @mailitedd185
    @mailitedd1852 жыл бұрын

    You don't understand alexythymia. We're not in denial, we literally don't have the ability to recognize and label what we feel in a language that you understand

  • @MrKikessa
    @MrKikessa3 жыл бұрын

    being too much emotional and sensative makes the defences weak

  • @darzphonegraves3705
    @darzphonegraves37052 жыл бұрын

    Sure be proud of good health but just don't lord it over others. They're people too. They Matter to God!

  • @natakali4973
    @natakali49738 ай бұрын

    Okay but maybe at least once a month I want to stay in my bed and not do the perfect and right thing all the time? This is putting people under a lot of pressure. "Don't be sad, just smile when you are sad" This is so incredibly terribel and fake and not getting in touch with your emotions at all!

  • @BePatientSeeLove

    @BePatientSeeLove

    7 ай бұрын

    Depression and im sorry to hear that and u can thrive even while depressed ❤

  • @yobi_chan9243

    @yobi_chan9243

    2 ай бұрын

    Totally agree. Fake it till you make it only works to a certain degree. It depends how you are “faking it” and that’s important to differentiate. Also, bed rotting can be a wonderful mindfulness practice. This girl sounds like she’s never had a struggle in her life.

  • @virginiaperge8207
    @virginiaperge82075 ай бұрын

    I get triggered and I take flight BPD, Ptsd

  • @michaeladams6154
    @michaeladams61543 жыл бұрын

    Emotions are awful, we would be better off without them

  • @JohanRedwood

    @JohanRedwood

    2 жыл бұрын

    Without emotions you would be dead already.

  • @Suedepants100

    @Suedepants100

    2 жыл бұрын

    we wouldn’t be human without them. you should seek a therapist sir

  • @emmal1138
    @emmal11382 жыл бұрын

    Yeahhhh just force yourself to repress your emotions, act like its all ok and get 'quiet bpd' instead 🤣🥴

  • @vipermad358
    @vipermad3583 жыл бұрын

    More of the same bullshit. Worthless “information.” So, to stop feeling bad, I should just feel good. It’s easy!

  • @blastprosful
    @blastprosful Жыл бұрын

    This guy is hurting bad.

  • @salandersalgado4038
    @salandersalgado40382 жыл бұрын

    This video doesn't teach you anything

  • @alisagossage3973
    @alisagossage39734 жыл бұрын

    What makes this woman think she has the right to our emotions???

  • @alifmuhammadchicago

    @alifmuhammadchicago

    4 жыл бұрын

    I can't tell if this is a joke.

  • @mamlas9494

    @mamlas9494

    4 жыл бұрын

    She dressed like a barbie doll so that in itself is to induce certain "emotions"...

  • @mamlas9494

    @mamlas9494

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@alifmuhammadchicago Yeah, a weird joke. She is cut off as hell, not connecting.

  • @martialmusic
    @martialmusic4 жыл бұрын

    She’s very articulate but her choice of dress detracts from Her message. Yes, I would enjoy going to dinner with her in that dress. But in a professional setting (like this attempts to simulate) I find that her choice of dress detracts from the seriousness of the title of the video, and thus undermines her message.

  • @halothman1500

    @halothman1500

    4 жыл бұрын

    Robert Morecook agree

  • @Fuzzysea693

    @Fuzzysea693

    3 жыл бұрын

    Why? Do you can’t be attractive while talking about something important? Do you dress “professionally” when having a serious conversation with your partner??

  • @martialmusic

    @martialmusic

    3 жыл бұрын

    Destiny Lambert In my opinion her style of dress focuses on sexuality and sexual attraction, and is more fitting for a date. I would apply the same rule to men.

  • @chelseagirl278

    @chelseagirl278

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@martialmusic she look stylish that is it, her choice on what to wear

  • @martialmusic

    @martialmusic

    3 жыл бұрын

    k hanna nope. She’s going for hot hot hot

  • @veggienugnugs
    @veggienugnugs Жыл бұрын

    Go for a walk and put on nice clothes. Really?

  • @ronin2963
    @ronin29635 ай бұрын

    This is useless because it is not organized properly

  • @sneakerbabeful
    @sneakerbabeful2 ай бұрын

    I take an antidepressant, because my emotions get in the way of doing what needs to be done every day. Being mature means knowing emotions are irrelevant, and you need to act in the world regardless of how I feel.

  • @mariapesteban5558
    @mariapesteban55583 жыл бұрын

    Really valued this discussion. Thank you 🙏