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@kwahujakquai6726

26 күн бұрын

Do you have a medical degree in any of the topics you promote on your channel? If so, please state which with references coach.

I feel my empathy has gotten me taken advantage of, so I’ve intentionally become cold and detached to avoid being targeted.

@maxrico6660

29 күн бұрын

I understand that well, but keep love in your heart. Use your wisdom and intuition.

@variniaspartacus5860

28 күн бұрын

I'm with you but my love and empathy is so strong a narc cannot break it. The more they try the stronger I become ❤

@susanmercurio1060

27 күн бұрын

It might not be cold and detached but having proper boundaries. Many people who have become used to you having been easy to manipulate will accuse you of becoming cold because you changed in a more healthy way.

@tabithab33

26 күн бұрын

💜🙏💜🫂 It’s more than difficult and painful on all sides and levels to feel safe while having to still be around them… whether setting healthy boundaries ( ALOT of pushback with narcissists) or doing the opposite of placating , “ being cold and detached “ ( narcissists know this is not our true nature but their own) so none of it works for anyone except for themselves. Be careful with this one because this is ultimately their goal which is to get you to absorb what/ who they are so they can make “playing the victim “ more believable to others. While you are just trying to find a way/ solution/ feel safe, they are also doing the same in a sense on the opposite side. If this makes sense. The difference is, WE survivors ( surviving) try to understand and take actions to protect ourselves AND others who fall victim to them. The narrative in the narcissist is to ONLY protect their own image and how others perceive them in the light that they want. Hang in there and stay safe while always fighting to just be you💜

@susanmercurio1060

26 күн бұрын

@@tabithab33 Your response made perfect sense.

Are you a narcissist? Consider... 1. Your Capacity for Empathy. 2. Motive of Manipulation. 3. The Need for Admiration and Validation. End. (Very Good Video)

@cassiebennet4262

22 күн бұрын

I started crying over a stranger's story of abuse and emotional neglect from his wife. Since I'm always questioning if I'm the one with the problem it made me realize I have pretty strong empathy. My coping mechanisms are still unhealthy, but at least I can heal.

I'm glad you spoke about people with empathy who have to LEARN how to be cold and detached. I had to teach myself to say "I don't give a damn", to keep from being manipulated.

@Portia620

27 күн бұрын

Yes!!! I didn’t realize how cold I have become

@user-fc2tj8lf2m

26 күн бұрын

I hate the fact that I have to attempt being that type of person, simply so I can exist in some semblance of peace.

@humbob2845

22 күн бұрын

Exactly

the narcissist can have cognitive empathy, not emotional empathy. a narcissist can mimic empathy if it benefits them, and gives them control, and/or narcissistic supply. example: a narcissist is out driving, and they see a car that's been in an accident. they may help out, and call the emergency number in order to receive praise, and admiration for their heroic act. but under the facade, they could not give a damn about the person, or the car. only about their own narcissistic gain. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

SO TRUE! ❤️

@carparthero

29 күн бұрын

@meadowdevor thank you for acknowledging my existence lol 😉 joking there...on a serious note excellent, informative video. please show some 💙 for your canadian fam! 🍁 -cheers, steven

@meadowdevor

28 күн бұрын

Glad you enjoyed Steven! And always happy to see you here.

@koolbeans8292

28 күн бұрын

Not unlike the majority of the fake news reporters!!

@Heaven-dy9lj

19 күн бұрын

This Christmas was our neighbours 1st Christmas without her husband. I got the children to go round with a box of chocolates. I asked my wife if she wanted to go. She scoffed at the idea, not interested. Saying why bother her. My children and I went round. The neighbour was elated, well she started crying and thanked us. It was an important thing to do for my children. A few months later this neighbour bumped into my wife. Tell ing my wife how good the children are, how much it meant for her. When my wife told us, she was visibly ecstatic about hearing all this good info. My wife actually said ''why do I not do this, why can't I do this?'' Seeing the result she could see why to do it. She doesn't have the genuine emotional motivation. It's as if she sees the reward now, the benefit, so therefore the reason why to do such a gesture. She'll now have the cognitive empathy in such a scenario.

Narc has the ability to make a sane insane.

@tabithab33

26 күн бұрын

Seemingly maybe 🤔 not in reality though

I didn't realize how badly I needed to come across a video on this topic. Thank you.

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

So glad it was helpful!

I grew up thinking, and at times told people, that it was my purpose to keep my narcissistic parents happy. The script in my mind was that my worth was only as good as my ability to keep the peace between two grown adults and my golden child sister

I know I am not a narcissist. I am constantly reminded.

I just get so sick of being the only one who feels guilt after a confrontation, or that I'm the only one who deserves punishment. Sometimes I just want to make them hurt the way they hurt me, but then if i do i go immediately back to guilt for treating them like they treat me.

Thank you for this , this is sooo beautiful . And yes those are beautiful words " I need the space to process this" . I realized I was becoming toxic and don't want to be, I was groomed by Narcs most of my life and then was soo naeve to get into a 26 year relationship with one ,and have never understood myself or built boundaries and I am now 45 . I love this.

These practical advice tips are really helpful, especially for those of us who can't leave/end these narcissistic relationships just yet. Thanks!

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

So glad to hear that the tips are helpful. ❤️

This is helpful. I have never watched one of these videos on narcissism and felt the PAIN of the presenter as much as this. This video is very good for addressing the constant questioning of myself being a narcissistic monster. Using the word “desperation” really helped confirm what I go through in seeking the approval of others 😭 It can be so confusing. Thank you for making this video ❤❤❤

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

Thank you for being here. I'm so glad this was valuable. ❤️

Im deeply empathetic, i always attracted and wanted to help broken or less fortunate people, i always felt like i was the one person in their world (lucky them) strong enough to do it. It’s only when they’d taken so much that i was close to going down the hole myself, with nothing left in the tank to get myself back out, did i end it. My empathy is unconditional and immediate when it is ‘needed’, but not so much when it is simply wanted, expected or demanded (entitled to it). With recent ex-wife it was a ‘break glass in emergency’ button that was being pressed at her whim, to ensure her needs are my top priority at any given time. When you have mortgage, job and other foundational life responsibilities and problems to deal with, you have no choice but to filter and triage your empathetic emotions to prioritise subsequent response. It’s a way of protecting yourself, these people will keep taking more and slowly boil you alive, life is short, you need to be aware of your breaking point and exit before the damage you’ve allowed them to inflict becomes unfixable with the time you have left.

Here's a quick test to differentiate yourself from a narcissist: would you be willing to anonymously help someone in need? A few winters ago, we had a bad blizzard. My narc partner and I were home at the time, and spent quite awhile clearing our driveway of over a foot of snow with high drifts. My next-door neighbor was away on a trip, and, since I didn't want him returning home to a snowed-up/blocked driveway, I suggested to my partner that we shovel him out... He begrudgingly agreed to it, but was APPALLED that I didn't let my neighbor know who had done it... he wanted the recognition, you see... he was upset with me for weeks about keeping it a secret. I just felt good about being helpful - but understanding that was beyond his capability.

@solutions4tenants141

29 күн бұрын

Wow prime example of the difference between Narc and Not Narc.

Shutting down to protect your boundaries is so true and loving yourself in a healthy manner! I prefer being alone as I cannot trust like I used to! Being used and abused to help others and wanting peace for them and me! But many didn’t want peace! They need help but project their hangups onto you! No more enabling and then they slander you!

For me, after seeing all of the textbook definitions of what Narcissism is and how they conduct themselves. I am very confident I'm not a Narcissist. I've just been fighting an uphill battle trying to get others to see that as well

@user-jp1hs6sl3h

27 күн бұрын

The first point for me currently. And really how it's been for a while. Is that I've barely had the resources available to take care of myself. Much less to try and help others. I would help everyone I could if I could. And even still, when I have nothing to give. I still try and find ways to give back

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m getting a much better understanding of my husband (the narcissist) and myself, than I could have ever hoped for from just reading books. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this type of manipulation when you were a kid but it also made you who you are today and for that I am grateful.

Thank you. I needed to be reminded of all of this.

Im definitely not a narccisist allthough i definitely feel some distain and detestment towards them...that made me a little concerned because thats emotions they feel towards others for no reason.

Y'know, being around that type of personality pretty much since childhood were the strong concerns of me even being a narcissist myself. The strength of such an influence or personality at hand and you're against that for so many damn years. By far was this a need Meadow, so much thanks there.

I have wondered for years if it was me that was the source of our family issues. However, after 47 years of marriage and nearly 50 years with this woman which has lead me to years of therapy I now know the source. My wife has very little to NO empathy towards people, even our own children! She was always a "tough love" advocate. Thinking back through the years now my heart hurts thinking about how she treated our kids. Her history with past bosses at jobs and past friends that were turned off or pushed away by her has a distinct pattern. Thank you Meadow -

Thank you. Once again you've answered some of my questions as to why I have reacted or behaved in a certain way. It's always good to examine oneself too.

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

So glad to hear this. ❤️

What I’m having difficulty with now is responding to deliberate self serving actions that invade my life. I’ve set boundaries but they ignore them, then drop off food to give the appearance of their generosity. I’m overwhelmed and physically having trouble sleeping, my stomach’s hurting. I want to be Christ-like in my responses, but right now all I feel is sick.

Wowwww. Wowwwwwwwwwww. This was so illuminating. I can’t thank you enough for the substance of this content. All three major points were expressed so well.

Narcissists seem to have no real sense of humor, at least the ones I've interacted with. Just to crack a genuine smile seems impossible for them, so humor is like a foreign language to them.

@Portia620

27 күн бұрын

Not my ex and he was criminal con man. Dark personality and had great personality

@cassiebennet4262

22 күн бұрын

I've noticed that too. My narc wants to watch a comedy, but never laughs. Honestly humor or any other interest is all contrived. None of it is genuine. Larping.

Thank you so much for making this video!!

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

You are so welcome! Thank you for watching.

Christina Applegate! :) Wow. Great channel and analysis.

When I hear myself say, "It's complicated," I recognize now, that I'm stalling because I don't want to talk about whatever controversial topic they've brought up. That's been helpful!

This is really helpful. Excellent timing, lol. Thank you!

My husband and I were in Christian counseling, and during one session, the counselor asked my hubs how something made him feel. He was like a deer in headlights. No idea. So there's no way he could ever imagine how anyone else feels. Sad.

Thankyou for this video,was very helpful!

Leveraging affection to achieve their goals…..for 30 years! Courage! I left!!

Another one like me. Thanks.

Thank you. I was looking for this answer.

Wish I had met you instead Great work , it really helps many people .

wow, this is really helpful. ❤

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

I'm so glad to hear that. ❤️

Well done.

Thanks!

@meadowdevor

24 күн бұрын

Thank you so much!

Funny, we have a narc at work that everyone hates. It's deserved--he bullies everyone, including me. Then I feel sorry for him because he's so despised and he grovels for my attention when no one else will talk to him. Nah, I ain't no narc.😏🤷‍♂️

If you feel pangs of conscience when you think you've hurt someone, you are definitely NOT a narc. Narcs don't give a rip about the feelings of others. It's all about them, and nothing but them.

Narcissist cryptonite here- May’s we’ll own it! They check out who you are and where you’re at then test you. They open up our inner critic. That allows room for negativity which is sort of an addiction. You have to get your nervous system under control and reali😎 what happened.

Can you really ✨ever✨ set a boundary with a narc?

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

Great question. Yes, you can... but that doesn't mean they will honor it. It means that you have to be the one to honor it if that makes sense. For example, don't call me anymore -- is a boundary that they will happily cross. But you can refuse the call or block the number. So, the boundary is really set by your own actions.

I was raised (at least for some of my childhood, part time) by a NPD mother. As a result I have more empathy for animals than I do people. I know I’m broken, and am very ashamed of it.

Thank you, I wish that I could have listened to you 40 years ago... Now after 47 years of marriage I think it's just too late :~(

I have Begun to find I feel less and less empathy for the narcissist in my life and I do try to manipulate situations to get her to go into her crazy making scenario so that I can record it and hopefully try to dissect it with her and have it so that I have it so that I can get the third one which is the validation I'm attempting to verify who is the narcissist in the circumstances

Here’s the way I see it:) Love it! Authenticity check and I sometimes had agreed then brought all the information down to the real truth again. Something about that I didn’t like- like I allowed a manipulator to frustrate me. Like give them the benefit of the doubt while the person was obviously just wasting my time to even give it any consideration.

That's a green screen behind you...isn't it??? I think that I saw the book case ripple

@meadowdevor

28 күн бұрын

No... that's my studio ☺️

Thank you for the videos. God bless you. From JANESVILLE, WI

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

I would doubt either of us is actually a narcissist, but the accusations are flying.

If someone is a narcissist then that person never quwstions himself or herself if he or she was a narcissist. They are not searching for these kinds of proofs because that does not even come up for them.

A video on the relationship between the condition fka Asperger's/inattentive ADD and NPD? I've been called a narcissist by more than one person I believed myself to be close to. I experience pathological demand avoidance, which may look identical to weaponized incompetence, but was not allowed to explain what I felt to be the difference. Though psychology is a special interest, I may not fully understand it, and may also have it. Thanks

❤

Does having a narcissistic parent stunt your ability to become empathetic? I am average on being empathetic. Did not having a great example reduce my ability?

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

Definitely possible. When you're raised by narcissists you're mostly taught to be transactional rather than empathetic. I will research this, though and slate it for a future episode. Great question.

@lt827

29 күн бұрын

@@meadowdevor Thanks. What I was taught by narcissistic parent was that I treated her 'as if she had no feelings'.

@meadowdevor

28 күн бұрын

Oof, that is a terrible thing to be told. I can see why you might question your empathy... my guess is that your empathy is probably high to normal, but you were taught that it was 'never enough' to satisfy the narcissist. 💔

On what side of this argument are people with Borderline Personality Disorder?

I’m an avoidant, not a narc

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

I definitely want to do a video about this, because it's often misunderstood.

@solutions4tenants141

29 күн бұрын

Yes please do an avoidant narc difference video… I am an older avoidant INFJ female and tend to keep to myself unless I am being a “ hidden help a holic”. I help those less fortunate that I meet (intensely for weeks ) then hide away when someone expects me to keep helping with no end in sight. I tend to be the broken wing fixer, rescuer etc…then when I stell them that I’ve got to get back to my life… they accuse me of being narcissistic and manipulative and all I am doing is letting them know that it is time for me to be turning my attention back to me. I’ve analyzed WHY I help people too much and then they expect it… what I’ve come up with is that I need to feel needed. I suppose that’s me being selfish to get my own “needs” to feel needed fulfilled.

@meadowdevor

28 күн бұрын

Thanks for this info! I appreciate hearing this. I'll work on a video about this.

If you are an empath, I don’t think it’s a choice to turn it on or off. Also to reverse it at consciously hurt someone is highly hypocritical and contradictory. A self aware empath would know that walking away is the best option for both parties. If the empath realises they are a source of pain, staying is not very empathic. Empaths most of the time are actually covert narcissists in disguise. It actually very intelligent. Much like feminism, people will stop identifying as an empath because it’s lost its true meaning. There’s still way too much stigma attached to narcissism in a world where it’s very prevalent and growing. Narcissism makes sense today. Look at how disconnected and distracted we are, in this live to work, work to live society. We done this to ourselves. Parents of previous generations failed and now those same parents complain the we are the problem. And that’s a problem.

immaturity is a trademark for narcissists.

@thedude232

19 күн бұрын

not necessarily, some people mature in different intervals in life and / or maybe a physiological condition that prevents them to mature.

Gosh yes. Every day, I questioned myself. The pattern of exhaustion was actually real. All narcissists have been removed. Life on my terms of calm and peace is pure bliss. Processing time with boundaries is a good headspace ❤‍🩹

Can you really ✨ever✨ set a boundary with a narc?

@meadowdevor

29 күн бұрын

Great question. Yes, you can... but that doesn't mean they will honor it. It means that you have to be the one to honor it if that makes sense. For example, don't call me anymore -- is a boundary that they will happily cross. But you can refuse the call or block the number. So, the boundary is really set by your own actions.