For bonus episodes and old archives of the show: www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow

@johnmastroligulano7401

4 жыл бұрын

Welcome to the Matrix, a prison for your mind or as they call it in Star Trek=The Cage The Cave The trial for sentience as Q from Star Trek The Next Generation would call it. There are millions & millions of red dress people=programs/people who act as human shields/prison walls this is what Morpheus meant. Good luck & I agree this sucks, try knowing this your entire life, imagine how nuts that would drive you. Born into a shitty Twilight Zone movie where everyone around you isn't thinking & if you question just wtf is going on why they can't think it's like staring into the abyss & those people either get a blank stare or start trying to attack you as if you are what's wrong. Also what DiCaprio meant in inception in that mirrors scene.

@czourides

4 жыл бұрын

PLANdemic

@czourides

4 жыл бұрын

Event 201, Timmy. From One ex long Islander to another, there's a lot more to this than you think. And I'm sure you're aware of tower 7 in regards to 911. I was in Manhattan, close to the towers on that fateful day. A 47 story skyscraper never hit by a plane collapsing at freefall speed into its own footprint. It's 2020, conspiracy theorist R conspiracy realists. If you'd like to take this discussion to the next level, I'm open.

@czourides

4 жыл бұрын

By the way, Tim, it's clear that you are holding back on some of these conspiracies, props to you for being high profile and needing to balance what's being said. You're doing a phenomenal job. No joke. Big fan. You were great on the Whitney Cummings podcast the other day, I was never a fan of Whitney, though she seemed pretty cool when speaking with you.

@czourides

4 жыл бұрын

Go watch Contagion on Netflix, Tim. That came out one week before this Coronavirus. I don't know one person that has this disease, yet I know several that had the flu a few months ago. Yet there are countless celebrities now that have it. Get the f*** out of here

no one comes close to this. The Tim Dillon will not be televised

We need Tim Dillon to host his own GTA radio station.

@sictwosic1677

4 жыл бұрын

Is there a tim dillon eddie bravo?

@karljonson3287

4 жыл бұрын

Oh dear God I want these podcasts on the radio.

@stuartporteous7762

4 жыл бұрын

That is a magnificent idea 👏🏻👏🏻

@hunterlittle8793

4 жыл бұрын

Tim Dillon needs to be a character in GTA6. Possibly the player character...

@Walnder

4 жыл бұрын

Lmao...I remember Opie& Anthony..days .. . Patrice Oneal. And Tim Dillion on the same dial would be legit I'm GTA dial

"I just want to be able to be photographed helping people."

😂😂we're spoiled man. This dude's podcast is legitimately an A+ standup bit everytime😂😂 I just started listening to this pod and this is better than 97% of the standup specials. I wish it was 9/11 hahahaha, what a great writer

@user-nn8eq5tv2g

4 жыл бұрын

"China is taking people and throwing them in a furnace" bahahhahah, come on man. This is guy's delivery is TOO good. "They gonna put the gun in your throat" 😂😂😂

@Probasaur

4 жыл бұрын

Truth. I feel like im back ten years ago when i was watching Rogan and maron and comedy bang bang

@tkcaapi2876

4 жыл бұрын

he spits venom that is so measured. hes one of the good ones! 🍺✊😎

@tkcaapi2876

4 жыл бұрын

his Gary Vee bit was so good 🤣

@elcypher6102

4 жыл бұрын

@Chemical Shed The Wuhan God

*video starts* “Aww i wish it was 911!” 😂😂😂

@YoYo-xr3ew

4 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@deezlesteezle

3 ай бұрын

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

I'm a trucker trying my best too bring food. You make my life a little better Tim. Thank you.

@hudsontoo1212

4 жыл бұрын

Kris Pafford thanks bro! I’m on the road for my job all and I see you guys everywhere- you deserve thanks.

@CH-ml4rz

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks, man! Im repairing schools, its nice and quiet 😂

@XDLVLXP

4 жыл бұрын

Kris Pafford same here! This guy somehow gives you some hope and it feels good to hear this guy on the road !

@mikedavis3634

4 жыл бұрын

Kris Pafford thank you for your service !

@youngkingdom8131

4 жыл бұрын

Well I’m a lot lizard and I service the truckers. Show me some respect too!

The absolute truest roast of podcasts: "Why does your studio look like an adult treehouse?"

“I will fight a middle aged woman” hahahaha

The black shirts add to the disembodied Charlie Rose aesthetic. Into it.

There is no other podcast where I'm actively listening to it and not doing something else. This is great.

I love Tim’s free flow. The places he goes off the cuff, it’s so hilarious. It’s cool. To just follow along and then just gut laugh.

@modestmarionette7893

4 жыл бұрын

It really is like comedy jazz

This is the only thing keeping me sane during this damn quarantine.

@ernestocalzone1171

4 жыл бұрын

Chris Hansen take a seat for me

@amir.420

3 жыл бұрын

Im still watching his episodes for the 3rd time

The Tim Dillon Show is the most hilarious hour on KZread - every week, consistently.

@TwinCitiesOutdoors

4 жыл бұрын

And better than a number of Netflix specials

@SouthernOregonOrgani

3 жыл бұрын

Get on his patreon! Like for real, every Tuesday he puts out a bonus and once a month he does a super exclusive one for the 20$ tier where he goes Hard in the conspiracy paint!

This was around the peak of the Tim Dillon show. Pandemic times were great with this one.

The voice of reason in these strange times.

Timmy really championing the "Floating head and 2 floating arms" look this episode

every episode is awesome now. i'm loving the pandemic arc of this show

The opening of this podcast may be one of the greatest podcast openings I've ever seen. He's actually very insightful in many subjects and hilarious.

@TwinCitiesOutdoors

4 жыл бұрын

He's a nuanced guy and is well versed in history and politics.

This is entertaining to listen to almost a year later.

@OutlierConcepts

2 жыл бұрын

Still going hard 2 years later

@OutlierConcepts

Жыл бұрын

@Joseph Price reconvene in a year

@ryanp6999

Жыл бұрын

@Joseph Price You guys have any openings?

So glad you didn't get banned from ymh.

"we cant get masks to nurses... do you know how many frozen yogurt shops we have in this country?"

@sheilaselvia5063

Жыл бұрын

She

@sheilaselvia5063

Жыл бұрын

She loves iloves 😊😊😊

@sheilaselvia5063

Жыл бұрын

She 888i8888

“You don’t wanna burn the hospitals, I get it.” - Tim Dillon 2020

I'm a nurse and I was just talking with my coworker about how much it must suck if you dont have a job that you get to leave your house for. Work is hectic but at least Im not sitting around the house all day everyday.

@CH-ml4rz

4 жыл бұрын

Uh-huh! Im fixin’ up schools these days and its nice and quiet! My life is 95% unchanged.

"My family hates each other and that's what I love about them." -Tim Dillon

Thank you Tim & Ben, this podcast has become pure catharsis for me at this point. You are both essential workers my friend. PS "This Is Not A Snowday" is the new "Life In The Big City".

Last time I was this early the second tower was still standing

@kneetotheface

4 жыл бұрын

King Zeros its still standing is the punchline

@joshwhite5407

2 жыл бұрын

Nice

Tim looks like a manager at the Olive Garden. Tim Dillon is no longer sponsored by Polo Ralph Lauren. Tim and Ben only wear Lacoste now.

@TheFatSteez

4 жыл бұрын

Christian Slater you stink

@hallo4966

4 жыл бұрын

Was a little sad to see Tim not wearing RL

"The Irish and the Italians have destroyed this country." Tim Dillon 2020.

@redkingoldhero38

4 жыл бұрын

@Mike Lee ok wasp

@MrMAgoo-cb4wz

4 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@Goldfishsoldier03

4 жыл бұрын

@Mike Lee Hahaha post that on /pol/

@brencelt

4 жыл бұрын

@Mike Lee haha! Built by wasps my arse

This is Tim Dillon's era. Since Patrice nine years of whatever and then this murderer. Thank you Tim Dillon.

Ben's constant nodding makes Tim's rants so much funnier

The real hero in these trying times. Tim Dillon will unite us all.

"Swimmin in the crick..., its sewage now" 🤣🤣🤣😢😢😢

"When is chick-fil-A gonna open back up"

Why isn’t Tim really famous yet? when even during a world wide crisis he is undeniably the most entertaining talking mouth out here.

@jasonkrapf

4 жыл бұрын

I think he now is pretty famous. Hell get a Netflix special but he deserves his own show. By far my favorite personality on earth.

@kenmagarino3947

4 жыл бұрын

Hes too real for the masses lol

@fatguybob2778

3 жыл бұрын

@@jasonkrapf Netflix deal ain’t looking too hot

@BaldHeadedManc

2 жыл бұрын

Fuck Netflix, dude sells out shows all over the world!

Waited all goddamn day. Timmy D is the A+ content that keeps 2020 making sense

@elcypher6102

4 жыл бұрын

@Chemical Shed first one ive ever paid for to hear the archives totally worth it.

Just discovered Tim Dillon. He is perhaps the closest living thing to Patrice O'neal. He has all the talent to be among the super-elites of comedy by his early 40s.

Still hilarious over 2 years later. Gold

@trentonjunginger-vm2xi

Жыл бұрын

Timeless podcast lol

This is the first show i actually feel better after listening to. Trying to pretend like everything's cool people are sick of hearing about it... no it's just you need to make light of it. This is the perfect example

Tim planning my Easter meal 🤣😂🤣😂

Opening monologue was on point Tim!

Finally. Our fearless leader is back!

"Why doesn't your studio look like an adult treehouse?" FUUUUUCK , IM WEAK. xD

The only thing that makes the experience of listening to Tim Dillon better is Tim Dillon in VR

"I will fight a middle-aged woman" - this is what we need to hear pre-apocalypse 💎

Tim, it is time to step it up and start pumping out 3-4 videos a week on KZread. You will never again have a more captive audience watching at home! This is the time for audience building. -hugsnkisses

@acetate909

4 жыл бұрын

Man has a point Tim, -fingersnpenises

@CH-ml4rz

4 жыл бұрын

No

@BobbyBlancoGaming

4 жыл бұрын

Can’t rant hard for an hour straight every other day, need that week to build up content/world news/ current events etc

@acetate909

4 жыл бұрын

@@BobbyBlancoGaming You're saying that someone who talks for a living can't produce 3 hours of captivating words per week? By my probably perfect calculations there are at least a billion hours in a week. Tim can pick anyone one of his favorite words and arrange them in a particular order so their harmonic vibrations illicit spasmadic convolutions in my diaphragm. Because isn't that what comedy is all about.

@BobbyBlancoGaming

4 жыл бұрын

emf 1200 um yah but the rest of his rants and content go to patreon where people pay for him to go the extra mile. I just don’t see him doing that for KZread bro

“They get a vote and you get a vote.” This is my second listen. I am usually forced by proxy to listen to all my husbands podcasts and while I enjoy most of them. This is by far my favorite episode of any cast ever. Sorry Skanks, Bonfire, Shane and Matt, and RAP. Love y’all still, but this is the funniest ever. 😂😂

Tim Dillion is the best

High quality, low cost podcast.

@Highguyclassics

3 жыл бұрын

On my son

He's not wrong

9/11 was a pretty good time for me. Way better than now. I'm about to be 34, my life sucks now. Bills, deaths, my cat has terminal cancer. 9/11 everyone I loved was still alive. I still lived with my mom and only had to buy weed and video games. My cat was a cute little kitten. I could wish for nothing more than to go back and relive 9/11.

@joshwhite5407

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry for your loss brother, 32 here. Hope you’re hanging in there.

@floydzeppland

Жыл бұрын

I was wondering who bill was at first, and why his death hit you so hard 😂

Very weird listening to this episode again, seeing where we’re at 9 months later. Great show!

Between the comedy hit bits.. I've never known a comedian dropping truth bombs on the regular. Good stuff.

@Beradphotos

4 жыл бұрын

Bill Hicks.. rest his soul. Tim is fucking great

911 was simpler times

Don't ever stop Tim

It’s fun listening to Tim go at it from this side early on and then completely switch. Listening through these old ones is like an archeological dig of hyper opinions.

I'm losing it listening to this! HYSTERICAL. Thank you Tim!!!!

I'm new to this podcast and it's legit up there as the funniest podcasts of all time. Dillon is on another level. This podcasts is gonna be massive. Norman on the Pod would be amazing. Binging all your episodes now. Thanks for all the laughs in this wild times.

Tim’s outlook is so refreshing and honest. Fvcking hilarious.

@extrasmalldoll654

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for not saying "fucking".

“Garlic knot” has me crying

Fake documentary about tim "helping" please

@user-uy9sn3jz3f

4 жыл бұрын

Hello Covid-19. Its me, Tim.

Tim Dillon might be my favourite person to hear speak. Ever.

ty 4 stability

This is the only reason I'm still alive

@PlayNiceFolks

4 жыл бұрын

That intro, just a few seconds in, and I can see why. Fucking hilarious

I ♥️ Tim Dillon

This man is a treasure.

Tim is so right about wanting space.

😂 He’s talking about Joe Rogan here at 13:00 .... since the pandemic, he interviewed in a row; Bert, Callen, Segura, Diaz.

@timeherenowbe3126

4 жыл бұрын

Yasir Khalil , l figured he was! Cheers! 😊

@donaldmack2307

4 жыл бұрын

Yasir Khalil for some reason these LA comedians keep right on having friends over doing pods. Tsk tsk tsk

@juliand4442

4 жыл бұрын

100% Rogan

@Ben-qo6fx

4 жыл бұрын

Although Bert and Segura both had a Netflix special coming out which is an automatic jre appearance for them, Timmy was definitely talking about Rogan lol

@1qaz722

4 жыл бұрын

Synchronicities. Gnostism, self-improvement, transhumanism

National Treasure. Most of the planet is missing out.

tim Dillon is the only person i have ever been able to listen to the same podcast more then once.

Tom is now the floating head of reason. I Stan.

What a long strange journey its been. Started the quarantine with Tim Dillon and we keep listening strong

This was his darkest hour

Live long King Dillon

Ben has the best job in the world.

We don't need Guest's Tim, just your hot self

@paulfroelich1024

4 жыл бұрын

It's the End Times and Tim is in ketosis and broadcasting for our sakes.

The opening joke is better than the biggest stand-ups closers

Your making our life better keep it up

This was the episode that got me hooked on Timmy D! The "ugh, I just wish it was like 9/11!" is such a crazy good opening punch.

came from Whitney's podcast, there's something old school as shit about these rants but with a modern informed opinion, love it

“Hang in the dr will be in a minute...” 😂😂😂😂

"Uh, i just wish this was like 9/11...... it was the fall" love you timmy, so fun!!

This is the best show on or off tv or earth.

This is the highlight of my Sunday, thanks Tim.

As someone who works in the medical progression in the UK aka the NHS where nothing works, the idea of kneeling before Tim with a stethoscope is a photo I really bloody want!! 📸😂

You’re an absolute genius, Tim.

Tim giving lifestyle advice.... 👌🏽

Tim suggesting 90-120 day quarantine is very cute sounding in 2021.

Can. Not. Wait.

"Go get a car, fatty" still hits in 2023 🤣

The Boomer bit always has home dying of laughter 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tim dillion is slowly taking the place of my favorite comedian of all time

Thanks tim

Saturday... Coffee...Tim Dillon ranting ......this my church now The Wuhan God lol

True story. I moved to Los Angeles in a drug fueled heartbroken frenzy. During my stay I hit Tim up on Facebook and offered to bring him to gigs. He politely declined. Life in the big city!

Tim Dillon is my spirit animal

Keep it up Tim. Thanks for the content and being real, not counting the jokes.

Are there any jobs people can do while on a ventilator and in a medically induced coma?

@Rex_1984

4 жыл бұрын

create an onlyfans account

@j.m.s_3285

4 жыл бұрын

Walmart

@donaldmack2307

4 жыл бұрын

lmao. Walmart door greeter

39:00 best Easter food rant

The intubated SHOULD be assembling packages of high-quality jewels for the masses.

@bassfingers

3 жыл бұрын

Totally agree. This pandemic would be too much to bare without a perfectly set stone from Jewels By Podcaster Tim Dillon! 😉 ✌🏻