We all should've died in 2012 like we were supposed to

@joshsimpson10

4 жыл бұрын

What if that was a calculation with a margin of error of let's say a few decades in the span of 10s of thousands of years. In the grand scheme of things that's accurate as fuck. And no woo woo either.

@stellar7760

4 жыл бұрын

josh simpson To make it even crazier, apparently there *was* an apocalyptic coronal mass ejection (solar flare) in 2012 that would have, indeed, fried us all but the earth was tilted in suchh a way that it missed us; if it had been just a week earlier, we would be toast. Those Mayans weren’t that far off. Terrifying.

@environmentart

4 жыл бұрын

@@stellar7760 Apocalyptic Coronal Mass Ejection gets my vote in 2020

@moonlit6311

4 жыл бұрын

😊💛🍷

@starsnstrife

4 жыл бұрын

Too late for regrets now

"The idea that any of our problems are because people in America are not thinking enough about them selves is hilarious". Well said, sir!

"I don't care what anyone says about me, at all. Buy the ticket. Buy the shirt". Thank you, Tim. Words to live by..

@trentjung8035

2 жыл бұрын

Facts

@deezlesteezle

3 ай бұрын

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

Only Tim can make me burst out laughing while I am simultaneously terrified for the future of my country.

@Frank-rk8td

3 жыл бұрын

Such a smart content

@Frank-rk8td

3 жыл бұрын

Comment

@lanesniffin730

3 жыл бұрын

Anyone wanna bet on how it all ends? Nuclear fallout? Race wars combined with a decimated economy? China comes knocking for our debts?

@vincybadman871

3 жыл бұрын

As a true comedian should

@ryn-kx5tv

3 жыл бұрын

@@lanesniffin730 twenty bucks says the chinese nuke us and send the survivors to camps to build the next version of the i-phone.

disowned my family this year. best christmas ive ever had.

@kerrie2222

4 жыл бұрын

I quit participating a few years ago after I realized all the effort was expected and not appreciated. You buy gifts for your brats, I'll save my hard earned money. Merry, merry.

@BURNOUTRS

4 жыл бұрын

@@kerrie2222 Whats ridiculous is that at the end of the holidays, usually in the best case scenario, where you manage to get a gift for everyone that blood obliges you to, you barely even break even in reciprocal gifts. We might see this as being a non issue, the gesture "why dont we just not get gifts, buy ourselves what we want, pretend we gave it to each other and save the hassle" would be one to reject if it were actually extended. I have some friends where, we get each other a gift or two despite being against christmas. the gifts are always useful and made meaningful by the knowledge that we both reject the hassle. Thats the true meaning of "its the thought that counts" the fact that the person meant enough for you to go out of your way and get them something. Boomers with the luxury of time, bought by money they either earned during a time of significantly greater economic/financial prospects or have otherwise inherited as a result of said times of greater economic/financial prospects, are incapable of comprehending the burden represented by their approval being contingent on someone whoring themselves out to consumerism to get the family every gift they damn fucking sure dont deserve.

@popefranco2710

4 жыл бұрын

@BURNOUTRS wow you're a try hard

@cecilyt006

4 жыл бұрын

Props.

@patburns3402

3 жыл бұрын

What about close friends???

Tim deserves all the fame in the world

@ChilsonTV

4 жыл бұрын

#TimDillonForBond

“There’s a reason I’m not upset that I didn’t win the Tour de France, it’s cuz I’m not a retard!” Words to live vy

"Why aren't you hitting me in the head with a shovel? My head is here, there's a shovel, get to work!" Holy shit I laughed so hard at that I got hiccups.

@eoinclarke9165

2 ай бұрын

I'm

My dad would call his friends over for random BBQs & expect them to clean the grill (which sometimes hadn't been used for at least a year so the dirt was caked on,) help prep the food, etc. It was such BS. I watched a 20+ year friendship end & a fist fight almost happen over him expecting people to come over to clean the grill just to get his crappy BBQ.

@tylerkelly9801

2 жыл бұрын

Well he’s obviously an idiot and I’m sure the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

@jacksonmorris-thring644

2 жыл бұрын

We should get this guys dad on the podcast. Fuck hes a character

@ladeacarr4245

2 жыл бұрын

the father was a good man... old school grift right there

My new favorite podcast. Your rants are epic.

@kwazhims3lf

4 жыл бұрын

its his honesty, albeit dark, that is refreshing. the rants are epic the conveyor belt of people tying to 'play the game,' put forward a clean face, clean dialogue, get those advertisers, those people are dull, boring, and disingenuous. discovered tim on JRE, hooked now

Nothing but love for my keto king.

This podcast is definitely making my top 10 podcast of the decade.

@hypnotard69

Жыл бұрын

🐷

@GoldenGod69

Жыл бұрын

This is a good list Tom

I’m going back to the older episodes, this is such a good one!!

@ladeacarr4245

2 жыл бұрын

check out the 3am episode, and the please come kill us episode!!

@Lechatnoir3

2 жыл бұрын

@@ladeacarr4245 I love Please Come Kill us and 3am episode

@ashleymooney

Жыл бұрын

168 the funniest guy I ever met and please come kill us, and MF corporate steakhouse

@tophercortez7786

Жыл бұрын

@@Lechatnoir3 bro the episode before this is hauntingly hilarious

@Lechatnoir3

Жыл бұрын

@@tophercortez7786 its a good one, I love Chris and Tim together - thanks!

"It's the type of guy that brings out an acoustic guitar at a party and no one asked him to." Tim, you are a national treasure.

@deezlesteezle

3 ай бұрын

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

I knew a junkie who all she did was watch makeup tutorials, life in the big city.

@Trent_Moorman

3 жыл бұрын

This

@bigcityclipz7033

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a good time.

@thecavallocompany2689

3 жыл бұрын

L m a o

Honest to god, is there anything better than Timmy D on a Sunday morning?

@bahaeddinelimam3047

3 жыл бұрын

Maaaan watchu mean on Sunday morning? Binge it

@Zgembo121

2 жыл бұрын

Your mom?

@thejaymacdonald3437

2 жыл бұрын

@@Zgembo121 whos

@jonathanalpart7812

2 жыл бұрын

Heroin

@CJVS995

Ай бұрын

Headphones at work and you'll never hate your job XD

I love coming back to these older episodes

found tim dillon last week while listening to an old theo von podcast..i now listen to his podcasts every day while working and he is my favorite comedian by far. god bless. finally someone who sees the world similarly to me...funniest man ive heard

@gregmaxwell5552

4 жыл бұрын

trent in the trees my new favorite comic he’s like a fat gay doug stanhope

@spetruzify

4 жыл бұрын

so great you have something to take your mind off of those license plates you're making all day

@trentinthetrees

4 жыл бұрын

Django Fett facts...I like Theo but he got progressively less funny and Tim totally outshined him as a guest. Dude makes me lol in traffic by myself lmao

"They're eating fish pudding..."

@andrewlaco1776

4 жыл бұрын

Ironically, you look and act like half of London now. Well done, sorry you didn't get your mobile dialysis machine in 2002. F.

@goldencheese7247

4 жыл бұрын

Oioi and a merry hullabaloo to YOU! Frum London yes mam', I am. And I love me some fish puddin', I do.

@skreign

3 жыл бұрын

Oi

Thank you for this, I've been saying that for years "if you have money to spend on therapy, you don't have real problems"

@jonathanalpart7812

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, but being too poor to afford therapy is a problem as well. You can't win.

@grandelusion1148

2 жыл бұрын

@@jonathanalpart7812 I think the point of this guys comment went flying over your head

@jonathanalpart7812

2 жыл бұрын

@@grandelusion1148 No, I just disagree.

@grandelusion1148

2 жыл бұрын

@@jonathanalpart7812 Tims entire point was that people who need therapy can't afford it.... you're countering his argument by making the same point as him 😂. I'd hardly call that disagreeing

@jonathanalpart7812

2 жыл бұрын

@@grandelusion1148 Are we talking about Tim or the comment now? Either way, not being able to afford therapy is different from saying that wealthy people don't need therapy.

This episode has given me the best emotional advice I've ever heard.

Damn, he's on fire in this one. So much truth being spoken

It’s hilarious Tim got BetterHelp as a sponsor after this episode 😂

"Cancel your family"

@cdavid469

4 жыл бұрын

James B. McGill best decision I’ve ever made

@deezlesteezle

3 ай бұрын

Cancel yo mama chin!

This podcast is therapy

..."You're on the exit row!!!! You're nothing!!!!"... Hahaha

I think we can all agree that this podcast is low cost, high quality entertainment.

"I don't want to sit next to those ppl anymore" 🤣😂🤣😂

Its awesome to see how fast your KZread channel is growing Tim

I appreciate what Tim says at the end of his Therapy Rant. About the value of forgetting. Tis true. Let it go.

These are “My Top 10 [podcasts] of the Decade”: The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show The Tim Dillon Show

@goldencheese7247

4 жыл бұрын

I concur.

@stellar7760

4 жыл бұрын

Wow, you’re sharp.

@astonmikedelgado

4 жыл бұрын

He is authentic in a time of cookie cutter unfunny softies

@BurntToast422

4 жыл бұрын

If you like this, you should check out the tim dillon show.

@slimmpickens67

4 жыл бұрын

Cause he spits hot fire!!

On New Years, my fiancé and I played Skyrim and then watched the Simpson’s and went to bed. No time for CNN.

@ryancerrone5159

3 жыл бұрын

Life in the big city

@E-Nigma_

Жыл бұрын

@@ryancerrone5159 It’s a knife fight.

So fire. 2020 is about to be the year of Tim Dillon.

just a gay dude somehow running the least gay podcast

@CT-Records

Жыл бұрын

I'm gay and I absolutely love Tim Dillon.

I would like to sincerely thank you for this podcast, Tim

Nicely done Tim. Thanks for having this show.

The rant on British hipsters was epic.

I am upset that there is no video, Tim.

@romancastro_

4 жыл бұрын

patience

@goldencheese7247

4 жыл бұрын

I am straight up incensed!

@romancastro_

4 жыл бұрын

GoldenCheese Kindness is delicious.

@goldencheese7247

4 жыл бұрын

@James B. McGill Yesss! I know, right??

This era was peak Tim

Ya know Tim, I listened to the texts you just read us and my only regret is that I haven't played more golf...

*HIGH* *QUALITY* *LOWWWWWW* cost 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓹𝓸𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓲𝓶 𝓭𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓸𝓷💍

Best part about Tim is he's NEVER running his mouth or being condescending.

@andrewlaco1776

4 жыл бұрын

He truly is the most pious amongst us.

@fumothfan9

6 ай бұрын

He was probably a polite kid.

Aunt Dillon’s text is the most epic/relatable holiday tradition ever 😂😂

This episode is amazing. love solo tim

@mindgames9614

4 жыл бұрын

Tim dillon peaked. Show is shit now

Damn. As much as I sooo love Tim now, I miss poor struggling Tim. I feel him so hard. lol

"Is 2020 going to be your year or not?" I lol'd

“Doja Cats a partner at Goldman Sachs” 😂😂

"doja cat is a partner at Goldman Sachs" omfg bro I'm dying!

This one was fantastic

The best podcast!!

You are spot on with your opinion about therapy. Of course they are gonna tell ppl that they have problems, their livelyhood depends on it. Keep it coming brother

I'm very excited about the jewelry Tim!

I’m literally launching a jewelry line!! Hahaha!! no door to door though.

Just put "oooh, uh huh" and "how does that make you feel" on a loop and call it therapy

What an awesome episode !! Spot on 🎯

"Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people forget." - Albert Einstein

@dogzer

4 жыл бұрын

Intelligent people do not forget tho

@wetyewruyrtsutrdhjfg

4 жыл бұрын

"I like big butts and I cannot lie" - Sir Mixalot

lol you got an emergency kit for Christmas, that's so legit

Tim Dillon is like my weekly reality check. He even used my name when talking about the top 10 list that I might or might not have done lol

I fucking love tim for this rant

"Final episode with no video" lol Tim you done it again.

14:20 this little rant leading up to "you're still a pig!!!!!!" actually fucking kills me every time I hear it

WOOAHH! Tim Dillon is high quality and low cost!! I am so happy!

the xmass talk. i feel that.

Thanks for the content Tim. I love hearing your shit

business class jr for exit row seat is the best bit I've heard in a while

in this pc culture tim you are a breath of fresh cigarette smoke filled air. :)

Lol...you know that family text took 3.5 hours to type with 7 edits- and 4 reachout phone calls before it was sent! F'n love IT!...

@jd8745

4 жыл бұрын

Ohh and there is plenty of food- but if you plan on drinking BYOB- AND......bring some foam plates....the good china is LIMITED....cant wait to see the kids....but if they are not feeling 110% prolly should find a sitter....

you are hilarious and sooo refreshing!!!

As someone who is in school to become a therapist, I can say I agree wholeheartedly with Tim's analysis here.

You know this episode is old when you hear Tim say Kathy Griffin is more successful than him 🤣

Awesome set.

lol @ 25:25 Just watched episode 302 - Put Them In a Big Pot right before this episode and he's talking about Francis Ellis here. They had him on and mentioned his grandfather being in the CIA and Skull and Bones in the ep

Keep it up, timmy

Tim is so fucking funny. I was literally howling at the low cost jewelry at applebees.

That family group text was amazing

"2020s gonna be the year the conspiracy died" Has anything ever aged so horribly

@aculasabacca

2 жыл бұрын

He meant things are going to get crazier, and they did.

Fish pudding 😂😂

I love the contra points name drop 😁

I found this episode very therapeutic

Love the image on the vid!

24:00 - 27;00 THIS IS WHY I LOVE TIM!! RESPECT !

Ending the therapy rant with an ad for better help would have been great

Kump deserves co-host

Tim is my therapist. But instead of coddling me and listening to me and my problems he makes me realize I need to stop being a bitch about it and put a lid on it. Thanks Tim😁 the world needs you!

Yeah, I had a Left-y friend of mine use the Las Vegas shooting as a good reason to ban certain rifles (which she was confused about what they were anyways). I was unmoved, 2A forever.

Holy fuck you are spot on with the Chatty Kathy bit. “...the commitment issues that he has... it was just so good that it was bad, do you know what I mean?!...SHUT UP.”

Ben playing Tim is amazing

People would pay good money to be able to sit in on Tim's therapy sessions

Tim dillon is my hero

Only person to make me laugh hard enough to trigger an asthma attack.

Just got tickets to the austin show next week!

Phenomenal rants once again by Timmy Trashcan... best in the business.. Lunch w/ Steve Paddock... 😱

Tim Dillon is our Art Bell

Tim Dillon rocks :)

I've never been prouder to be from long island, best part of the week

I miss the porch so much

personally, i love the exit row, tim. leg room. leg. room.

Tims funny, hes going places

It's impossible to forget anything

For the record, I think the comedy's good ether way. I don't need video to too enjoy the funny.

@Giovanni-nj1xo

2 жыл бұрын

Yep patreon is 🔥