10 Years in Germany: The Reality of How I've Been Feeling (Trigger Warning 🥺)

Sometimes I feel like as an expat (now an immigrant) I’m not allowed to talk about my struggles. 💔
After all, I’m the one who chose this path for myself, because I live this lavish lifestyle as an “influencer” abroad with a partner and two beautiful kids… but as a celebration of reaching 10 years in Germany just over a week… I’ve finally decided to open up about my true feelings and thoughts about what it’s been like living in Germany for 10 years and how I’m feeling now. 🥺
⚠️ Trigger warning: there are some tears.
And a huge thanks to my expat coach, @lucybolincoaching2675 who helped me through this confession - or what felt like a public confession.
It feels great!
You can find more details about Lucyna and her expat coaching here ➡️ www.lucynabolin.com/
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00:00 - My confession
01:04 - Meet my expat coach
02:09 - Why does one need expat coaching?
02:50 - How do I feel after 10 years in Germany?
04:47 - What were my struggles when I first moved to Germany?
07:17 - What do I wish I had known when I first moved to Germany that would have helped me struggle less?
09:14 - What do I say when people ask me where I’m from?
10:37 - What are the struggles I face in Germany today?
14:05 - What helps me overcome these struggles?
17:25 - What have I experienced abroad that I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do in Canada?
19:43 - How am I able to flourish in Germany and not just “survive”?
23:21 - Are Canada and Germany similar at all?
26:57 - How do I picture my future in Germany?
30:51 - Advice for first-time expats
33:50 - Advice for long-term expats
35:57 - Outro chats
Follow me on Instagram for more: lifeingermany_ and lifeindus
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MOVING TO GERMANY? Get your FREE step-by-step checklist here ➡️ lifeingermany.com/checklist/
AND JOIN US IN THE [Life in Germany Welcome Program] ➡️ www.lifeingermany.com
QUESTIONS? hello@lifeingermany.com
#expats #germany #lifeingermany #expatsingermany #expattips
---------------------
MY TIPS FOR LIVING IN GERMANY ✅
💵 My Bank: bit.ly/3JczUH7
📱My Phone Plan: bit.ly/3ykBSPr
💡My Electricity Plan: bit.ly/3J5idcp
🏠My Liability & Contents Insurance: bit.ly/42Plnsr
🏥 My Health Insurance: bit.ly/306x1jZ
📚How I Learn German: bit.ly/3XtuwmL
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Пікірлер: 90

  • @maxbarko8717
    @maxbarko8717Ай бұрын

    I recently became friends with a Nigerian here in Canada and we discovered that Nigerians and Germans have more in common than Germans and Canadians. The first surprise was Maggi. 🤓 Congratulations for 10 years!🇨🇦🇩🇪❤

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    No way!! Haha 🤪 I would have never guessed! How cool though!

  • @indrinita
    @indrinitaАй бұрын

    As a Canadian living in Germany for 11 years as of this June 16th, I can relate to a lot of this. I also initially moved for love but because my career is thriving here, I can’t imagine moving back to Canada. I struggled and struggled for years in Canada to get my career off the ground. It was so much easier for me in Germany, even with a whole new language that wasn’t mine, probably because I had such a supportive family and partner, could get my M. Sc. here without going into debt and of course find a rewarding, well-compensated career path. These were all things that were essentially unreachable for me in Canada. Including the good marriage btw 😂 I of course miss Canada, but it’s a fantasy that my life could be as good there as it is here.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Your comment 💛 You couldn’t be more right now.. I feel so similarly! I don’t think I would have ever been able to get my career off the ground running as a freelancer if I wasn’t in Germany either. Also because when one moves abroad your motivation to succeed or “make it abroad” becomes so much more powerful! 💛

  • @ThomasHalways
    @ThomasHalwaysАй бұрын

    I am a German expat living in California since 1995. Thus my adventure went "in the opposite direction." Mostly I feel adapted well to the local live, but like you report, the adjustment was not always easy. The older I get, the more I miss Europe. Of course, the political situation in the US is currently so uniquely difficult, that I would like to refrain from making any comments to 'not to say anything unkind.'

  • @Prime72
    @Prime72Ай бұрын

    Great video, very raw and down to earth! 🤗 I am a German expat living in Canada and both my kids grew up here and I feel your pain being away from your family. We travelled to Germany 1-2 times a year from when my kids were infants but it’s not quite the same, but having them grow up as global citizens with dual citizenship is a good trade off in my view.

  • @timburgess1528
    @timburgess152829 күн бұрын

    I can 100% relate to the comments you made about getting old in Germany and the things that scare you, exactly the same here. I have been 11 years living just outside Munich and love it here, happily married etc. But the thought of getting old, living in a retirement home, getting dementure, not being fit enough to travel back to the UK to see my sons etc, all VERY scary. Thank you so much for putting this out there, MUCH appreciated!

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    21 күн бұрын

    Thank you for your kind words 💛 it really puts me at ease after publishing such a vulnerable video and knowing how many others can relate! I hope I can come to terms with it all moving forward or come up with a plan for when I do get old 🫶

  • @m.u.550
    @m.u.550Ай бұрын

    What a great conversation. Was für ein tolles Gespräch!

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you so much 💛🫶🥰

  • @roswithatausiani9283
    @roswithatausiani9283Ай бұрын

    You hit me in heart 😢 . Expat living in the US from Berlin. I would summarize with a German sentence- Berlin ist Heimat, Tucson is home .

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    I love this sentence 🥰💛 such a sweet way to put it!

  • @lonespokesperson7254

    @lonespokesperson7254

    Ай бұрын

    Greetings - US expat from Berlin, here - glad you like it in Tucson! Say 'hi' to California for me.

  • @lucybolincoaching2675
    @lucybolincoaching2675Ай бұрын

    Thank you Jenna for your trust and vulnerability. I really enjoyed our conversation even though or perhaps because it was difficult. Opening up about what hurts is sometimes a remedy in itself. Fuehl Dich gedrueckt!

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    💛🥰🫶 I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to open up about all of this with you! Since our chat it’s been such an emotional couple of weeks - kinda opened up a box of other emotions I’m working through too 😘

  • @lucybolincoaching2675

    @lucybolincoaching2675

    Ай бұрын

    @@lifeingermany_ I hear you. It's natural though. If you need a good ear you know where to find me ;-)

  • @Opa_Andre
    @Opa_AndreАй бұрын

    Congratulations for your 10 years anniversary and thank you for being so honest and open with your feelings here in the public. That takes a lot of guts, hats off to you. I love that conversation and can confirm, it's not specific to expats or immigrants. It happens as well if just moving to another state within Germany.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    I totally agree with you! Sometimes it doesn’t matter how close or far you are from loved ones, even two hours is too far. ☹️💛

  • @DIVERSION-one
    @DIVERSION-oneАй бұрын

    Oh girls, i totally feel you! Also got emotional and i din't expect this is going to happen. Because in fact i am also an immigrant. But yet me n my family are native German speakers, not from a German speaking country tho. So actually i do identify my self as a German, but to be more precise i rather identify me as a European than German, as i did some research bout my own history. So i remember (as child) as we stepped into Germany, it was all so fascinating and what not. All in all it wasn't that hard for us, as we were native German speakers, so just in a small amount comparable. But yet it got me - didn't expected that at all, after over 30 years and identifying me as a German. Congrats 4 10 years!

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    That’s exactly the point though 💛💛🫶 it doesn’t mean it hurts any less, whether you’re from far away or native German or not 🫶 we all should feel like it’s okay to open up and talk about the emotional aspects too 😘

  • @tiga4ka44
    @tiga4ka44Ай бұрын

    There is nothing wrong with missing your family and sharing that

  • @joannunemaker6332
    @joannunemaker6332Ай бұрын

    Congratulations on 10 years in Germany! This is a wonderful video.😊❤

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you so much ☺️🥰💛

  • @Earthshakes
    @Earthshakes14 күн бұрын

    We share very similar stories and sentiments. I’ve been in Germany for seven years (I’m from California), and I’ve had my two young kids here. This is home for them and for me. This feels truer as every year passes. I have a large and loving family that I miss as well, but they are living all over the world, so we fly often. We purposely save for these trips, willing to meet our friends and family wherever and whenever possible (this amounts to 3-4 flights a year. And this will likely drop as my kids start school). The point is, we decided that, come hell or high water, no matter how hard flying with toddlers can be, we’re going to make it happen. We’ve a ton of stories from it all, and no regrets. Expect that it’ll all go wrong on the flight, bring the iPad, hope for the best, and don’t forget to pack spare clothes for yourself in your carryon. Thanks so much for sharing your experience! Good luck!

  • @AnnetteLudke-je5ll
    @AnnetteLudke-je5llАй бұрын

    You won,t believe it ,but you can have the same feelings when you move inside Germany. I get a bad feeling when thinking about my old age (we have dementia in our family too) here where I live now,because people in my home area( more northern in Germany)are so different in their behaviour. They love talking to ithers much more than people here and sometimes I am afraid to die here...

  • @flamedealership
    @flamedealership27 күн бұрын

    Great video! Thank you for showing a more vulnerable side of you, Jenna. A big virtual bear- (Björn=Swedish for bear) hug and a corresponding mail.

  • @ArtistLedom
    @ArtistLedomАй бұрын

    What a great video, thank you for your vulnerability! ❤️✨✨✨

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    🥰😘💛 I’m really glad you liked it! It’s always strange publishing things like this publicly for me, but on the other side.. so important! 🫶

  • @user-fy4px7es8j
    @user-fy4px7es8jАй бұрын

    Oh my sweet girl....I miss you so very much...my heart hurts...but I'm also so very proud of the strong independant women you have become ❤I will always be here for you ❤️

  • @JaimeEcheverryG
    @JaimeEcheverryGАй бұрын

    You are adorable 😍 Congrats on your first 10 years in Germany from a fellow expat 🥰

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Aww thanks so much! 🥰

  • @BernhardRichter
    @BernhardRichterАй бұрын

    Thank you for Sharing and Congratulations for 10 years and Welcome !

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you so much!

  • @user-sm3xq5ob5d
    @user-sm3xq5ob5dАй бұрын

    An advice from someone who has lived for some decades. In his own country. You can regret to not have been living abroad (I did actually for a short time), to stay in your country etc. But in the end you have to look at your life with the question: How did I feel at the moment? Did I make the best out of the situation? (Because that is what you can or could have changed. The situation/environment is what it is.) One has to make choices. Even a non-deliberate action (as in staying put) is a choice. And this analysis-paralysis (I like that one!) has to be overcome anyway. And every choice has upsides and downsides. And you cannot know all and should not blame yourself for not knowing and analysing all. Nobody can! That is life: Not perfect, full of errors. And also full of opportunities. To Jenna's way of living: Imagine you had chosen to live the cabin life in Canada. A wood cabin in the wild. No close neighbors. Long travel before you are back in "civilization" as you knew it. Would that be akin your life in Germany? As in no established social contacts in arm's reach? But with the benefit of a different culture within minutes? I think you are a city girl (excuse the term). So culture and diversity are your thing. And that's what you have. I think many young people define themselves by consuming. Perhaps one feature of north American culture. So they are dependent on the availability of goods, especially the goods they are used to, to define their life. Only if they concentrate more on their personalities and not let industry define them they will become free. I think this has been shown by Diana Verry (YT). Who was a Toronto fashion "addict" to become a Berlin free-minded person.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    I think you need to become an expat coach too! 😋💛 I loved reading through your comment! Though it sounds funny to hear someone call me a city girl 😂 I’ve always felt out of place in cities and “at home” in the nature… but now that you say it.. I feel like Düsseldorf may be changing me! The thought of living in the woods without access to quality restaurants kind of scares me 🙈

  • @lennyren
    @lennyrenАй бұрын

    Thank you for sharing! I'll likely be watching this one more than once, as needed, throughout the move from Canada to Germany.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    🥰🫶 I’m always here if you need to chat!

  • @Summer-ov6kj
    @Summer-ov6kjАй бұрын

    I think it’s kind of a blessing and a curse to be from the first world countries and also immigrate to another first world country! For many people immigration is not a choice but kind of the way to survive or have opportunities and a proper! Not even a little better life and when they reach their destination the benefits and goodness and differences ( in a good way) is so much that they can’t and won’t even once think about their home country or going back. They will go through same things as an immigrant but at least they don’t have that in the back of their mind what if I go back! You know the choice is much easier for them and that’s why immigration maybe is more popular from a drastically lower level of life quality to a better. So it’s so normal you have these feelings and I think you’ll always be thinking what if we go back and you’ll miss Canada for sure. I think the best way is not to compare and come to terms with your choice and always know you CAN go back and many many people can’t even dream of going back or there’s actually nowhere to go back to. But all of your struggles are so valid and common and as an expat everyone goes through it. Everyone in their own country have their own community and give you the vibe of an outsider I learned to ignore them (although sometimes I feel jealous because I was that girl with all my best friends and groups and communities) but then I became an outsider weirdo 😂 which we shouldn’t care and we should learn that as an immigrant we will never have those communities we had in our home country and we should find other ways to be happy and content. Sending you much love ❤

  • @1958zed
    @1958zedАй бұрын

    Very insightful and interesting conversation. It would be interesting to get the perspective of people who want to spend some or all of their retirement years in Germany. Two years ago, I learned about changes in German citizenship laws that broadened the rules for citizenship by descent. My grandparents emigrated from Germany to Chicago in 1925 and had my father while both were still German citizens making him technically a German citizen, too. (They both became naturalized U.S. citizens years later but never documented my dad's German citizenship.) I submitted my application to receive German citizenship by descent and, if it comes through, I've entertained the idea of moving there. (I'm still in contact with and have visited extended family there.) While serving in the Navy, I spent a year in the Tokyo area and two years in Seoul, so living abroad is not a foreign concept to me (excuse the pun). I rather enjoyed it. Again, great content.

  • @wora1111

    @wora1111

    Ай бұрын

    European Healthcare systems are set up to work for people that lived in Europe for a long time. That implies you pay little to nothing while being a child, pay during your healthy adolescence and while working and pay little when retiring. When moving to Germany as a retiree you should check whether your insurance will pay in Germany/Europe as well. I assume you already know German, so the language should not be a problem.

  • @1958zed

    @1958zed

    Ай бұрын

    @@wora1111 Thanks. Healthcare would be my biggest concern and most likely roadblock to making this happen. As far as my German language skills... Well... I can speak enough to embarrass myself, so I'll have to work on that.

  • @wora1111

    @wora1111

    Ай бұрын

    @@1958zed Concerning your language skills: That is a very German attitude, you have. And a good base to start from.

  • @wora1111

    @wora1111

    Ай бұрын

    @@1958zed For those born a few years after us, there is a way around the problem with Healthcare: If you are employed by a company in Germany and living here, you have a great choice of public insurances for healthcare and you will stay a member of the insurance even after retiring. The problem is mainly with those that never paid into the insurance.

  • @NorthernHomestead
    @NorthernHomesteadАй бұрын

    Thank you for the video. I have been watching you on and off. I feel like I belong nowhere being a child of immigrants and an immigrant myself. I lived in Germany, USA, and now in Canada. Even though I do understand your desire to give your children the cultural experience of living in Canada, I think the having a Heimat experience is way more valuable. They aren’t missing out, they are gaining. And if they decide someday like you, that they want to live abroad, they still can. But at least they will have a home country to go back to. Just my thoughts. Question, since you mentioned ageing in Germany or Canada, and your mom basically making the same decision, I would like to hear your thoughts on it. What are the pluses and minuses for each country. Nursing homes, retirement etc. future video idea 💡

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Thanks so much for your comment 🫶🫶 and it’s such a good question! To be honest, I haven’t looked into it too much yet, but it is something I wanted to start diving into soon! I will definitely make a video!

  • @viewsalot
    @viewsalotАй бұрын

    ❤❤Love this, so helpful to hear as I'm in analysis paralysis over moving to 🇩🇪 from 🇳🇿 for love ❤️

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Stay strong 😘🥰💛 you got this! And I’m always here if you need someone to chat with!

  • @nephilim2582
    @nephilim2582Ай бұрын

    Hello! You should never deny your roots or origins! But at home you are where you feel comfortable and can make your dreams come true! I am happy to call you a fellow citizen to be able to! Even though it's been 10 years now, I say: Welcome and live your dream! Greetings Nephilim

  • @catb6750
    @catb675024 күн бұрын

    I can relate so much being an Immigrant in Canada and now moving to Germany. I feel the same that maybe I don’t have the right to complain because I chose it. My husband says that we picked it so why complain but now I feel like I am moving from my home which was actually not my home @lifeinGermany

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    23 күн бұрын

    💛💛💛 it’s so nice to normalise this feeling and know that others go through the same emotions too

  • @arnodobler1096
    @arnodobler1096Ай бұрын

    Gratulation 👏 lovely Jenna! 🥂 🥂

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Thank you! For always supporting me 🥰💛🫶 it means so much to me!

  • @arnodobler1096

    @arnodobler1096

    Ай бұрын

    @@lifeingermany_ aber gerne doch! 🥰😘

  • @tasminoben686

    @tasminoben686

    Ай бұрын

    @@lifeingermany_ jo von mir auch: herzlichen Glückwunsch zu zehn Jahren! Sehr schönes und rührendes Video! Hat mir sehr gut getan! Liebe Grüße, Ben❤😊

  • @michamicha5496
    @michamicha5496Ай бұрын

    wonderful reflection of your Life in Germany

  • @GeorgeSchenker
    @GeorgeSchenkerАй бұрын

    That was a wonderful conversation. My life shows me that Germany is home. I would like also to live in the USA because my close family is there. My parents and my sister and her family live in Greece.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    💛💛💛 it’s so nice though to be able to say you know where home is though 🥰

  • @wora1111

    @wora1111

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@lifeingermany_ One of the few things I remember from my time studying Latin: "ubi placet, ibi patria". Where you like it, there is your home.

  • @TamsynKent
    @TamsynKentАй бұрын

    Does anyone else feel like we need to have a party for Jenna? A big "happy YOU" celebration. But that probably isn't realistic. I wish I could talk to you one in one!! I have so much I want to talk to you about and to maybe help you.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    Your comment 💛🥰 Thank you so much haha you’re so sweet! And we could totally chat one on one soon 🫶

  • @Cz-De-Lifestyle
    @Cz-De-LifestyleАй бұрын

    If you are still able and healthy, life is good in Europe for until when you reach into your 70-80 and have medical problems . Thats when a lot of folks may have to move back to Canada or USA. They're just not comfortable expressing themselves medically and some places dont have the same access to specialist for their conditions, cuz they live in a small town. Its just lot better if they go home and have families help them out and speak the language that they understand best.

  • @wora1111

    @wora1111

    Ай бұрын

    Seems Jena, her kids and her husband speak German very well. And it is a lot less expensive to have a good Healthcare in Europe.

  • @YouTubeAlnglish
    @YouTubeAlnglishАй бұрын

    I was calling my close friend who moved on Germany. She told that she feel belongings there. A job and its facilities that offer are over the worth it. But yeah, we should make ourselves very safe to face the society life style that far away from Asians principles.

  • @arinmovsisyan3391
    @arinmovsisyan3391Ай бұрын

    I have the same here. No one celebrates what I achieve. Not even my wife. And if your German husband also does not celebrate, then there is a subject to discuss i believe.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    I’ve brought it up before, but also understand that many of my business accomplishments are hard for anyone to understand if they’re not on social media themselves, you know?

  • @arinmovsisyan3391

    @arinmovsisyan3391

    Ай бұрын

    @@lifeingermany_ im fully on the same page with you. Also as an immigrant in Germany there many minor and major challenges which we overcome and may look so easy or getting underestimated for others.

  • @FlamingBasketballClub
    @FlamingBasketballClubАй бұрын

    Hi Jenna. Your channel kinda seems similar to Type Ashton for some odd reason.

  • @paulajones4578
    @paulajones4578Ай бұрын

    I want to move to Europe I am married and we have 4 kids but we are so scared about the move. I want my kids to learn a different culture and I want to get out of the USA. How can I get in contact please

  • @hnrccaa

    @hnrccaa

    Ай бұрын

    Check the chat between Jenna and Jessica, a career coach from America [my recent hint on that hardly visible]

  • @hnrccaa

    @hnrccaa

    Ай бұрын

    Thats the video kzread.info

  • @hnrccaa

    @hnrccaa

    Ай бұрын

    ehm.. kzread.info/dash/bejne/fq1lw7mpZrqrYZs.html

  • @hnrccaa

    @hnrccaa

    Ай бұрын

    PS: still guessing what state her accent is like 😉😉

  • @johnveerkamp1501
    @johnveerkamp1501Ай бұрын

    KNAP VAN JE ,DAT JE HET UIT HOUD. !!!

  • @jbsmarklinmodellbahn1728
    @jbsmarklinmodellbahn1728Ай бұрын

    Danke Jenna für dieses schöne Video über Dein Leben in Deutschland. Alles Gute für Dich und Deine Familie. Die deutschen Untertitel sind mal wieder eine Katastrophe. Da kommt so viel Unsinn raus. Also schalte ich diese wieder ab und verstehe halt nur die Hälfte.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    awww! Echt?! Vielleicht sollte ich meine Videos manuell mit deutschen Untertiteln versehen, anstatt mich auf die Übersetzungen von KZread zu verlassen? Was denkst du? 🫶

  • @jbsmarklinmodellbahn1728

    @jbsmarklinmodellbahn1728

    Ай бұрын

    @@lifeingermany_ Hallo Jenna, ein manuelles Übersetzen wäre sicher deutlich besser. Macht aber sicher viel Arbeit für Dich.

  • @hnrccaa

    @hnrccaa

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@jbsmarklinmodellbahn1728 also die Untertitel auf Englisch helfen eigentlich auch schon viel, wäre das eine Alternative? allerdings haben die auch kleine Fehler, aber das zu checken wäre wohl eher eine machbare Sache.

  • @Malekfahad420
    @Malekfahad420Ай бұрын

    Hey Life in Germany, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?

  • @wechooselife8481
    @wechooselife8481Ай бұрын

    Sjoe 🥹 I actually can't watch this today. What a heavy topic, thanks for your vulnerability.

  • @lifeingermany_

    @lifeingermany_

    Ай бұрын

    💛💛💛💛🫶🫶🫶

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