‘Not all guys are MEN, Not all men are HUSBANDS, Not all men are FATHERS…’’A worrrrrd! Thank you aunt Fumi

@simplysony7308

Жыл бұрын

Agreed 👍

@ntubeawah6954

Жыл бұрын

I love Fumi, she is an epitome of elegance. Her laugh always make me laugh too. God Bless you

@mapalokaunda7900

Жыл бұрын

💯

@tseepi5019

Жыл бұрын

Goosebumps!!

@facetimewithbempomaa9866

Жыл бұрын

✍️✍️

Fumi, you are 100 percent right on all points. My husband didn't raise any red flags. It was kinda scary to see a man do everything right. It could have been too good to be true but it wasn't. I remember him inviting my parents' to dinner to explain himself. He said "I love you" before I was ready. He waited until I was. He hasn't changed. We celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary recently. My husband is awesome. I love him dearly. Good luck to my single and looking for a husband sister's. 🌹

@sylviemorgan9770

Жыл бұрын

Am happy you got a great man,stay blessed.

@sheriffbeko937

Жыл бұрын

Wow so happy for u 👏👏👏

@marilynking527

Жыл бұрын

So happy for you!!

@nikkistahr7105

Жыл бұрын

Valerie this was so beautiful to read! Very encouraging. I have been with my husband for almost 10 years now and counting, literally growing up together from our 20s to 30s and praying for God's continued blessings.. It sucks to have that fear from past experiences hinder us..I had alot of healing from traumas and undoing to accept and welcome a good man.. To all my single ladies do your inner work first and during..continually work on n improve you, allow yourself to welcome healthy love, keep your eyes open but also your heart..im praying for all of you ❤️ 🙏🏽

@VIsidore

Жыл бұрын

@NIKKI STAHR I met my husband when I was 20. He was 40. He had been divorced with one son. My husband was mature and well-established. My husband is no saint. He had several women that were placeholders until he found the ONE. That woman is me. If a man of that age doesn't know what he wants, look out! Most men have a mental checklist of the type of woman he wants. He WILL bend over backwards to get her. Women don't have to do cartwheels to get a man. I didn't. I remembered childhood trauma from sexual abuse. My husband was there for me as I went through therapy. I'm glad that you were able to heal. Thank you for your kind words. 🌹

Redflags 1. He's not asking you questions about you. 2. He doesn't want to label the relationship after months (3 months) of dating, neither has he asked you to be exclusive. 3. He has not posted you on his social media. 4. Your family and friends do not like him. 5. He doesn't introduce you to his friends/family 6. He calls you only at night, it's a booty call, he's trying to make you a side chick. 7. He never initiates a date 8. He doesn't surprise you with gifts or something special 9. He does not make an effort to know your family/friends or impress them 10. He ghosts you

@diananyawanda1950

Жыл бұрын

Thanks a lot. I still need this

@ka8155

Жыл бұрын

Omg, I know a guy that exhibits all these red flags. It is time to cut him loose.

@proverbs31teacher7

Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much! I will not ignore these next time. 💖

@mamencaable

Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@millicentkumah958

Жыл бұрын

My ex was all of the above

As for the first red flag, you have to be careful about divulging too much about yourself, because some guys are narcissist and ask you about yourself so that they can mirror you and attain information to use against you.

@yvetteakabs3372

Жыл бұрын

Very correct

@AdultingBuzzWithfifi

Жыл бұрын

Now This!!!

@AGirlCalledMina

Жыл бұрын

Truth !

@goodnesssegun1533

Жыл бұрын

Exactly darling you are right..💯

@Lifewithoutborders24

Жыл бұрын

I broke up with one like that. When I noticed it and people around me also raised the red flag 🚩, I broke it off without looking back

I want to say some: - he's too clingy and doesn't give you space. calls you multiple times a day and complains when you say you are busy - Takes back things he gives you when angry - Does not apologize -Does not show appreciation for the little things -Does not spend wisely

@godsdaughter5352

Жыл бұрын

Wooow apart from aking back gifts, my husband has checked all of them.. Am in motion of walking out. So help me God.

@msboss7406

Жыл бұрын

Yass Ada spot on😮

@geekbliss4209

Жыл бұрын

Excellent points!

@regalchic

Жыл бұрын

😆😆😆 this one is a boy not a man.. especially asking for gifts during quarels.. some men are just unbelievable 😆😆

@msboss7406

Жыл бұрын

Omg my god 😂 man child

In all honesty my heart breaks for myself for allowing myself to settle for less..all these red flags I allowed...I allowed them ALL🥺😓But I know better now...thank you Mummy Fumi💕 love from South Africa 🇿🇦🇿🇦

@themortgagechic_ca

Жыл бұрын

Never mind darlyn...now you know!

@IroroEdosio

Жыл бұрын

You know babes! You will do better.. let it go

@fisf.2148

Жыл бұрын

Even me too I’m crying knowing that I saw all these red flags and I kept letting it slide

@YouAdii

Жыл бұрын

@@fisf.2148 Keep your head up Fis.

@2Ryled

Жыл бұрын

Go check out crappy childhood fairy on here and childhood ptsd. 👍

After enjoying this, we are looking forward to red flags in long distance relationships.

@lolloll2590

Жыл бұрын

Yess pls

@86liljo

Жыл бұрын

😂😂

@sheriffbeko937

Жыл бұрын

Yes we definitely need it👌

@ronkeadenekan423

Жыл бұрын

Yes o that will be great

@kikik123kiki6

Жыл бұрын

I think she did!!!!

Also, always trust your gut, if you are getting a vibe of negative energy or something within you just doesn't feel right!! Listen to your intuition you'll never go wrong.

@TheRealPrudieM

Жыл бұрын

Very important ❤

@sandywilliamz4458

Жыл бұрын

Very true ma'am..

@DVBell-lc2sl

Жыл бұрын

Fumi we drive from Woodbridge to ATL in 2006 together? Deborah

@regalchic

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely gold!

@saimanda_

Жыл бұрын

Yes! This!

As a woman in her 50's let me just say you are goals. With age definitely comes wisdom and it's great to keep learning and your channel has taught me a lot. Thank you💖

@elizabethletsoso2558

Жыл бұрын

She looks like she's in 30,s

I am toooo old, and ashamed that I am only now learning these lessons you're teaching Thank You sister Fumi

@braininjury-ptsddoisurvive3484

Жыл бұрын

Never be ashamed to gain knowledge..... And we're never too old! Best

All I can say "Red Flags" are not "Imperfections" You have to know the difference. Don't pass up a great guy because you have mistaken an "imperfection" for a "red flag." For me personally smoking is not a 'red flag" but if you are a recovering smoker, you may not want to date a smoker so it could be a "red flag" or "deal breaker" for you. For me it's just an "imperfection." Maybe Auntie Fumi could give us insight on the differences between imperfections and red flags

@mixielaoye7390

Жыл бұрын

Hey, it may not be a red flag for you but i consider smoking a red flag. I dated a smoker, and his smoking used to intoxicate me a lot, soooo never again will i date a smoker 😊

@im_livonyango6136

Жыл бұрын

Smoking is sign you don’t care about your own health. How is he supposed to care about you? It’s irresponsible and a bad habit.....it’s a choice not an imperfection. It’s like saying someone who’s addicted to drugs is imperfect....what they need is help quitting the bad habit

@tolubrownie

Жыл бұрын

Is there a place in this video where Aunty Funmi mentioned anything about smoking or being a smoker as a red flag?? Why exactly are you talking about IMPERFECTIONS ? The video strictly talks about red flags and not imperfections., besides imperfections vary from person to person and that is why it cannot be fully talked about. For instance, I personally do not like to date a smoker, not because I hate smokers but because I am asthmatic, mostimes i cannot even comfortably sit around my friends who are just smoking lightly and having a nice time, it instantly affects my breathing and chokes me so now imagine me telling someone else not to date a smoker because I can't sit around one or telling someone a smoker is a red flag?

@Salad_Channel

Жыл бұрын

This is so great.. It'd be so awesome if Aunty Fumi would do this 🙌🏾

@NazarofGod

Жыл бұрын

I think in this video, the red flags are based on how the man is treating you. his actions and behaviours with and around you. They're superb red flags that demonstrate how that man is feeling towards you and knowing these flags can save women lots of time, tears, and heartache. On imperfections, a sweeter word meaning 'weaknesses', the best advice I heard from my married friend is to choose a man whose imperfections/weaknesses you can live with 💕 One man's weakness may be angry outbursts, another may be emotional immaturity, another may be cheating/inability to keep one's word, etc. We choose those whose weaknesses we can live with for a long time (without nagging). For instance, I can live with a man who can't keep time or my OCD-level of orderliness, but not one who lies, cheats, is alcoholic, and cannot regulate his emotions.

Everyone, Fumi is absolutely correct. I loved how she eloquently explained the red flags. I dated a guy some time ago and he did not ask certain questions that he should have asked such as, "What was my favorite color?, I was in school at the time we dated and he never asked what was my major? He was also extremely critical. Well the end result was we went our separate ways. He tried to come back some months later but I was not to be bothered, I had moved on with my life. He was one of the worst guys that I had ever dated.

OMG Funmi said a GLARING NEON RED FLAG 😳 😍 😆 🤣

Random but I was watching Ugly Betty and I saw you on the show and I remember the time I saw you on Girlfriends. It’s such a treat when I see you on these shows knowing that you’ve spoken about them on here 💞. Congratulations on 400K 🎉🥳

@sanneannelies843

Жыл бұрын

Ugly betty is such a great show, can I ask which episode she is in? Would love to see it🥰

@valerieeey

Жыл бұрын

Do you know which episode of girlfriends?

@ThickNCurly1

Жыл бұрын

Cthu at you talking how you dodged a bullet with the ex you ran into.😂😂

Thanks so much. I just checked all the boxes in my recent relationship. I was feeling guilty for walking away, now I know I did the right thing!

@maryo8511

Жыл бұрын

As Fumi says, "you dodged the bullet". Something better is coming your way.

Fumi, you brought to my attention the qualities of the good men I had in my past. Sometimes we get so hung up on the bad men we forget the good men. I had a boyfriend in my 20’s (unfortunately I broke up with him) who brought candy (1 piece)and/or flowers (growing wild) every single day the first year. He made a huge birthday party for me when he got a real job after college. He couldn’t afford much when he was in school, but he did the best he could. My father used to bring small items of jewelry for me. Thanks to your list, these men’s behavior is the standard with which I am now measuring my suitors.

“ when they want you they will put effort “ 👌👌absolutely correct Ms. Fumi, been ghosted, ladies that is the most dangerous one , don’t even waste your time.your husband contribution was on points too thanks for sharing Ms Fumi .

Omg! I’m 24 and I’m so addicted to your channel 🥰

@Sugarrrrgiel

Жыл бұрын

Sameee sis!❤️

I had all the flags ... 10 years later I've finally seen them and I'm gone . Thanks to God. Thanks auntie Fumi for the content and always telling the real

This is great advice!!! When I was dating my husband he was like how she described her husband. And I noticed such a huge difference. I also was confused by my feelings. I was so used to the hand wringing, tortured feeling while dating a guy. So sad that I thought that was being "in love". Ladies, if you want a husband you have to have standards and hold out for husband material.

Love from Montreal Fumi. You are an inspiration for all black women in this earth ❤️ I'm addicted to your laugh 🥰😂

@TheDELE1960

Жыл бұрын

Hello my Canadian sis! ❤️ from Alberta

@joycelachman3651

Жыл бұрын

Not only black woman Also indian Hi from the caribbean❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@patriciasamo3364

Жыл бұрын

Hey from Québec City!

Only you Fumi can tell hard truths in such an uplifting way, thank you! Congratulations on your milestone 400K and very best wishes to you.

Congratulations on reaching 400k and I can’t wait to see you reach 1 million and beyond. Love your contents🙏

God bless you Fumi! So many women NEED to HEAR this and TAKE HEED!

@mariesaint7799

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations on reaching 400k. I love me some fumi.

I had a friend who thought anyone who told them they were making terrible men choices, was jealous. There was no telling this person. And it said far more about her, and the way she viewed her circle. Sometimes we can see a car crash about to happen, but they don't want to hear about it

Me watching this right now, made me cry after remembering again how I settled for less, even when I should have walked right out because I always thought things would change after my heartbreaking sexual assault experiences by people I had been in relationships with. I really did struggle with letting it all go whilst reminding, and acknowledging that these things had happened. I've taken a break from dating right now, I'm gradually healing, showering myself with all the love, and care but this video was right on time for me as a young lady looking to someday settle down. Thank you, auntie, Fumi. You're saving a lot of us ladies'. I'll be 20 next year.

@DemureSpectabilis

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry those jerks put you through that. None of it was your fault. May you experience healing and a life better than anything you could imagine, and may they receive swift (at least poetic, if not legal) justice.

@sarahtholley7613

Жыл бұрын

@@DemureSpectabilis everything will be fine

@zippyspring

Жыл бұрын

You will heal, recover, flourish, and fly. Watch some of the videos by Dr. or Pastor Dharius Daniels. He preaches on this topic. Look for sermons with the title of Exits. Blessings and peace.

As a married woman going on 23 years, and 63 years young I so enjoy your channel. I don’t have daughters, but I have nieces and I try to be the Auntie they can talk about anything to. Thank you for speaking truth about relationships. I wish every woman at every stage in their life has a friend, mother, sister, etc… that can talk about the things you talk about.

How I wish I knew this advice when I started dating, I wouldn't have made a lot of mistakes. But I thank GOD for auntie Fumi. In the aspect of calling. The guy I was dating, usually call to check up on me at night mostly, I complain about it and he said he was always busy during the daytime, and I remember what Auntie FUMI said in one of her videos. NO ONE IS EVER TOO BUSY FOR YOU, YOU JUST NOT IMPORTANT TO HIM. I quit the relationship immediately. I no fit shout abeg.

@kingsleyfestus9160

Жыл бұрын

Abi You have don well dear

@juliet2615

Жыл бұрын

Late night calls, don't be surprised he's not single.. Some guys always lies..

@selinaanjie1038

Жыл бұрын

how didi you quit it that easy

Huge congratulations 🎊. I am honoured to be part of fumination.

This intro is soo emotional. We love u back. And thank u for your authenticity. Many of us have sterile, cold mothers and this content you put out is LOVE. Love for others and love for yourself. 💗

I love you Aunty. I’m literally 26 and I live for your wisdom, personality and everything. I found you during rhol and I’m here to stay xx

“The make up is too fabulous” plus the laugh 😂 love you auntie Fumi!

Thanks for this❤❤ It's been my heart desire to meet and be with a man who loves me and sees a future with me. At 38, I realize I've not experienced that type of love in the four relationships I had. Should it be in God's will for me, I would be honored to experience that type of love. My mom and sis have been fortunate to marry men who love, adore, and cherish them like delicate eggs💕. So I've seen it, just not yet lived it in my life.

@ritahsworld608

Жыл бұрын

Hung in sis keep believing

@truth4815

Жыл бұрын

You will God willing. Just be open and not put yourself in a box. Good luck to you getting that good one to sweep you off your feet 🙏😘

Thank you so much for this ma'am. Some of the things you mentioned were the reasons why I broke it off with a lot of 'could-have-beens' in the past. Not because I really knew them as red flags, it just didn't feel right that they weren't doing/or were doing the things you mentioned. Hearing you talk about them makes me feel okay because it was starting to feel like I had waaay too high expectations. Keep doing what you do ma'am ❤️💫

It's always the laugh for me😂😂❤️

Very well said Fumi!!!.Thank you!

Just found your channel today and I can’t get enough of you!!!!

Gosh, I so love it. I am practicing some of them and thanks for the addition. Clearly i dont put in effort and i am ok now letting go. lol

Thank you Sister Fumi!!! Brilliant episode!

Congratulations on hitting 400.000,I,ve been a subbie from around 40,000. I knew you were a star from the beginning and would do really well on YT. Enjoy. 🌟🌟🌟

Sis Omg. Love ya. Keeping it real as always. Red flag 🚩 !!!!

Thank you for being transparent and sharing your dating experience and the Red Flags. I was love bombed for 5 months. However, he was playing games and he played it very well. It took me years to recover.

I haven't followed you for long but you have such a great energy and I really appreciate your content

You hit it right on the Nail Fumi. ❤

Fumi, you have helped me through this single journey a lot. I love your elegance , the way you carry yourself! WE LOVE YOU FUMI!

Thank you for breaking it down. You are appreciated!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Congratulations on 400k Fumi! You're such an inspiration💃🏾Onwards and upwards babyyyyy!

Thank you Mama Fumi you are gergeous as usual. Congrats on 400k, keep informing us and stay blessed

Good morning Sister Fumi Happy Sunday 💕 Congratulations on the 400,000 Subscribers 🙏🏽👏🏽. I watch with all attention focused no matter the topic. Bravo I hear see, watch, love, laugh, and I am inspired💞in Texas

Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom Fumi. I loved this makeup and outfit on you. Congratulations on 400K.!!!

Thank you Fumi !! I love ❤️ your wisdom!! I can relate to almost all your topics. It’s refreshing to have sisters sharing positivity 🙏🏽

this is awesome insight and advice, Fumi! thank you for this! ❤️

Good night auntie Fumi, uncle Ole and Adrian. I hope you had a great weekend. Thank you again for good, sound and honest guidance. It’s great to hear uncle Ole advice from a man’s point of view. Auntie Fumi it’s really important for sisters to listen to your advice; if it didn’t work out with the relationship say thank God because it’s better than getting married then having kids and being divorced due to ignoring those red flags. Have a blessed week Volds and sisters. Shalom 🙏🏾🙏🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Absolutely! I agree with all you said! God bless you sister !

I'm so proud of you Funmi! Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐 🥳 🎊

Looking fab, Fumi! Thank you for the video. Congratulations on number of subscribers! 🎊 To everyone reading this: please don't be too hard on yourself if you overlooked those red flags; most of you didn't know any better..Hopefully now you'll do better!

Happy Sunday auntie Fumi!!! Very excited to watch this video.

Great job Fumi, women need to know this and take action! Have a Great day!

Yesses! New video from Fumi ❤️🥰✨made my day 🎉 congratulations to you beautiful aunt Fumi ❤️❤️ and congratulations to us the Funimation 💪🏾

As I'm watching this for the first time 6 months later, the 400K followers is at 615K! Amazing Fumi!🎉❤🎉 And thank you so much for your inspiration!

PREACH REV. FUMI!!! wish I had this advice many moons ago!!! 😊

Hi Fumi! I'm so excited! Congratulations 👏 and thank you sooo much🤍💜❤

You look beautiful! I loooove the makeup to bits! This episode was everything, thanks Aunty Fumi ❤️

Can you please do a red flag for long distance relationships??🙏🏽❤️

Ok Fumi, another good one! You are so on point!

Congratulations on 400k! It should be higher…you are amazing!!!

Oh my goodness, I absolutely love you, Fumi. You are so FABULOUS, in every conceivable way! Thank you for this video. It was very helpful to me as I have just begun a courtship with someone, and I am a woman of a certain age. This man has checked all the boxes that you’ve laid out, and it is such a stark contrast from the previous person that I was wasting my time with who checked all the boxes of your red flag list. I really needed this wisdom at this very moment. I am so appreciative of all that you do for us, your sisters, your friends, your daughters, your loved ones on this platform. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU 🙏🏽

Thanks for great advice even at age 52 great information.

I'm a young girl with no parents and I'm blessed to have you because you help me to be a young women the better one

Fumi, it’s your positive energy that draws me to your channel. Lovely content too!!

Solid advice per usual and for free (that's how I know that you love us)!!! ❤️ you back Fumi!! 😘

I love the bronze sugar. You wear it well. I hope those who are dating watch this. Excellent as always 🌻🌻

Fumi, I needed this 28 years ago. Thank you for this counsel

Just discovered you today and I am watching as many videos as I can! Wow! The energy and confidence is amazing!

Congratulations on the 400K and taking a different direction from the makeup focus which I personally, feel is over saturated. I only discovered you few weeks ago and subscribed, based on the variety in topics as they resonated.

Hi Ms Fabulous, your skin is popping in that white. The hair and makeup is wonderfully put together. I’m so proud to be one of your 400,000. I love you much. Tell Ole and Adrian I said hello🥰🤗💞🔥

This is great, it was painful but truthful, thank you! ❤️

Omygosh I love the intro!!

It's still so hard for me to believe that someone as magnificent as you exists! I'm so grateful I came across your channel 🤗❤️🤗

Auntie Fumi you look amazing 🔥🔥🔥🔥. Love the makeup & your outfit. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

Where have you been all my life!!! I married such a person, total relationship 13yrs married for 4 and we have two boys 21yrs old and 12; you bring up questions I have never thought about. But when I think back this is him all the way. Now I'm thinking was we ever excusive!?! I have been single (divorced) for 8 yrs now because of the abuse of this relationship. Your video of dating in your 50's changed my thinking. . . I am so inspired to try again; I have been working out getting my body back in shape and have an upcoming Cruse for my 50th birthday on Oct 3rd. . . so I'm watching you on dressing and make-up. Thank You, My Lord, for helping me and sending Fumi!!!!

The kind of advice I needed long ago!

Fumi you're make up is so clean. I absolutely love this look. Getting back to the topic, great discussion 👍🏾

Dear Sister Fumi I am sooooo happy for your 400K achievement. I Thank God for your blessed words of advice

Thank you Femi for the great advice. You've saved my life 🤗

Fumi, congratulations on the growth of your channel! I live, I love!

😭 Love u auntie Fumi ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for being generous with your knowledge. Thank you for considering us as ur daughters u do seem very authentic and loving ❤️ Thank you 🙏

Beautiful compliment to your followers and we appreciate you as well! More than anything, thank you for giving us your authentic self; this is why we love you soooo much! God bless!

Fumi it's like you were speaking straight to me word for word. I thank God that He used you to give us this message.

I understand, I’m also in my 50s and yes turning 50 was soooooooo liberating. I’m finally now me. Great job Fumi 👊🏽

Well deserved!! Congrats Fumi (to you and the family - because a win for you is a win for all!) and I agree with EVERYTHING you said. Tried, tested and true. Women are rarely being courted anymore. Ladies, please raise your standards. Let them come correct or respectfully gentlemen, please don't come at all. If we raise our standards, they will have NO CHOICE but to raise theirs. BEST CLOSING REMARKS: "Close your eyes and say 'the cookies was good, I enjoyed it'".

Thank you for this video, I wish so much I would have known all these things sooner. Only in the past few years have I truly understood how I spent so much of my life chasing love. In the wrong places with the wrong men, ignoring all the red flags. The last time I dated it went very bad and I was afraid for my life in a way I had never experienced. I was paralyzed with fear and normally I am very confident and assertive. This was 3 years ago and I have not dated since then because I didn't trust my judgement anymore. But listening to you I realize these red flags aren't complicated. You don't need to be a rocket scientist! You are so right about all these things and they are everyday signs that are obvious this is the wrong man. Thank you for wanting to help all of us to protect our hearts because we are all valuable and deserve love!

Hi Fumi, I am watching from Curaçao, Dutch Caribbean. Love ❤ your channel. Thanks for all your wise advises. Great content as always. God bless!!🙏

I love this! Thanks for sharing. I'm that single girl who truly agrees with you.

I love you sooo much aunty Fums you’re so beautiful and it’s so relaxing and educative to watch you ♥️♥️

This was very educating aunty Funmi, wow!! God bless you ma’am

Love coming here Fumi! I think you are so amazing and seeing such a refined women as yourself plus your advice has helped me so much. I love seeing black women glowing. Struggling Twenty-something!

We love aunty Fumi💕💕💕 I live and love your videos… I’ll say *thank you for all you do*. I’ve learnt a lot from your channel. CONGRATULATIONS on reaching 400k🥂

Thank you Auntie Fumi for your words of wisdom and sage advice. I appreciate the love and truth that exude through your words. I have a wonderful momma but there are other women who don't have a woman in their lives to give guidance. Thank you for being such a willing vessel for God's unique purpose. It means alot for women to share with each other. I ignored some red flags and it wasn't pretty. 😅 Fortunately I've learned my lesson.

Thanks Fumi 🙏🙏, on point and true. I remembered the Zulu Kingdom song that goes like.... the beauty of a man is in his cows (monetary wealth), never forget young woman....💃🎤. If he is not financially independent it adds to the red flag as well. Lots of love from South Africa 🥰