Hey guys if you're struggling and need some help with therapy be sure to check out BetterHelp which is an online therapy service with licensed professionals!

@ashleylynn89

6 жыл бұрын

Ty :) I have the same thing, trying to understand it, videos like this help :) Love your channel. Had to subscribe. 😊🔔

@ashleylynn89

6 жыл бұрын

Your gorgeous btw!!

@OxyCoCet

6 жыл бұрын

Sammy-Marie Grimm popsicles and freezes when I binge eat ;) it’s a nice low calorie and next to nothing else food like rice crackers ;p

@OxyCoCet

6 жыл бұрын

Drink lots of water when binge eat to flush all the extra sodium after over / binge eating and often will gain little to no weight. You just half to binge on healthier options like rice ? Unless some one knows a way to stop BOD food cravings lol? If so I’m all ears ahah

@lilydalrymple1624

6 жыл бұрын

BetterHelp won’t except me. I don’t know if it’s my age or symptoms but when I was bad it was very discouraging.

No one understand BPD. Calling it fake or “everyone has those traits” NO it is EXTREMES and it is EXHAUSTING. Every single day can feel like an emotional rollercoaster.

@SammyGrimm

6 жыл бұрын

THANK YOUUUUU so many ppl think ive made my feelings up in the past but fuck its so real...

@PhenixJoe

6 жыл бұрын

I totally agree. It’s awful. It’s loving and caring to the degree that it hurts, and feeling like your efforts will inevitably fail so you act in a way that ensures they will. It’s second-guessing everything you do. It’s running through the simplest things you said through the day, obsessively, trying to figure out if you said the wrong thing or offended someone. It’s getting angry for no good reason, acting out, and then feeling so ashamed and remorseful that you can’t look at yourself, for me it’s also doing things in counts of 4, it’s not being able to enjoy a perfectly happy relationship because you’re sure it’s going to turn south and they’re eventually going to figure out who you REALLY are. It’s this and 1000 other things. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Definitely not a manifestation of our imagination nor a plea for attention. Above all, in me at least, in takes the form of self-doubt and just feeling like I’m not good enough, or somehow missing a true identity. Sometimes I just feel like I’m putting on a show all the time. Wow, did not expect to write this novel. Thanks for your comment. It felt good to reply to someone who understands.

@LarissaZavala123

6 жыл бұрын

Jay Petrova couldn’t have said it better!

@kayerk

6 жыл бұрын

@@PhenixJoe Thank you Jay. I totally relate.

@allisonvinave6357

6 жыл бұрын

in reality no true diagnosis actually exists, we are just people with symptoms, sometimes they follow patterns and are “treatable”, there’s a reason there’s such thing as “Other specified personality disorder” and “unspecified personality disorder” exist, even if doctors rarely use them

does anyone else find themselves talking to themselves or whispering like mental situations they've created in their heads?? Wow hope that makes sense

@devgene

5 жыл бұрын

🤚🏽

@anilot6066

5 жыл бұрын

There's always someone in my head narrating a story of everything and everything

@Sabrina.Sharmi

5 жыл бұрын

A lot.

@karismalovesglitter

5 жыл бұрын

nina aishling 👋🏼

@elizaheaney2379

5 жыл бұрын

Holy shit I do this! I didn’t know other people did too

Biggest “weird” thing for me is I sound like 2 different people when I’m working through an episode. I will scream and yell nonsense one minute and then be totally logical the next, because I am desperately trying to talk myself down. I’ve been in treatment for years for my BPD, and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. It is an absolute nightmare.

@koolhwhip2957

5 жыл бұрын

Radio Lunax 🧦🧤

@saramilena.

5 жыл бұрын

Yesssssssssss it kinda happend with me but i dont know if i have bpd

@oakleyj7930

5 жыл бұрын

Radio Lunax happens to me sometimes when I’m having anxiety about doing something like going somewhere important. I’ll talk to myself calmly then suddenly I’m crying and begging myself not to go. I totally feel you.

@frankiemunez8015

5 жыл бұрын

Oakley J that is exactly what’s been happening with me recently

@taaronalexandra6588

5 жыл бұрын

Radio Lunax I do this constantly!!

1. Constant mood swings every single day 2. Intense anger about LITERALLY nothing 3. KNOWING I'm being irrational but not being able to stop 4. Dissociating under stress or in an argument, I will literally just forget what we were talking about mid sentence 5. Terrified of authority. My boss, my landlord, the cops, literally anyone who could have any sort of power over me at all. 6. Paranoia. When I was a teenager I thought my parents were genuinely trying to make me commit suicide because they knew they couldn't get away with killing me themselves. I moved in with a friends friends parents(so literal strangers) who actually took pretty good care of me, but I eventually convinced myself that the house and my car was bugged and they were listening to my conversations and plotting to kill me. Like why. 7. Switching. The thing that's different for me about this is I usually tend to only do it with my abusers. It goes hand I hand with the paranoia. I can love them more than anything and not even think about the trauma at times, and other times I hate them and "cut them off" seemingly for no reason. Idk if this is actually switching or just some other weird relationship/psychological issue. 8. I forget everything all the time 9. I twist words in arguments to make myself seem right. I'll like argue over the phrasing and twist my words around just a little bit to make myself sound better. I've actually learned to NOTICE when I do this so I can try to correct it, that's cool. I'm still working on it. 10. Impulsivity. Shopping, sex, gambling, drugs, alcohol, self harm, eating, haircuts. I only REALLY struggle with shopping, eating and haircuts so much anymore. I'm working on it. 11. Anxiety!! I've always had it so idk if that has anything to do with BPD at all. 12. Self sabotage. You don't believe you deserve anything good and will knowingly or not sabotage every good thing in your life 13. dependence/codependence. It makes it super hard/impossible to have healthy relationships 14. Feeling like you could fall in love with anyone who's nice to you for five minutes 15. Feeling like I'm having a real sincere epiphany about the world or universe and being so sure of it and then not remembering ten minutes later 16. Constant life changes. Moving all the time, losing/changing jobs frequently, constant changing appearance.

@peachyk33n79

5 жыл бұрын

Have you been watching me? 🤣 EVERYTHING, every single one sounds exactly like me! I'm ashamed of myself but I don't feel alone anymore! ❤

@Sarah8561

4 жыл бұрын

Are you me?

@transgoddess31

4 жыл бұрын

This is me 😭😭😭😭

@thishumanoid

4 жыл бұрын

This. Thank you so much! I just got diagnosed and I am seeing some of these in myself.

@bethanymackay5915

4 жыл бұрын

I can relate to every single thing you put here.

I think I found my community 😭

@sandraduggan3158

5 жыл бұрын

chelsey garrett me too. I felt like she was talking about me!! Finally someone who gets it and is honest about it!!

@pranathivenugopalsuguna3047

5 жыл бұрын

I feel the same...

@thechristianpsychologer3865

5 жыл бұрын

same.

@bree3424

5 жыл бұрын

Me too, girl. 🖤

@samanthasumpter8002

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah it would be nice to have a private KZread channel for people with bpd to talk without feeling judged

It's like having multiple personalities for me and never knowing what I actually believe in or care about. And it's like you want someone to stay in your life but at the same time you want them to go away. It never ends and medications do not help :(

If you have BPD I want to give you a hug right now and tell you how strong you are. I do not have BPD but I have PTSD, anxiety and depression. You guys have a huge stigma to deal with. I’ve noticed it even amongst mental health professionals. My hope and prayer is to help change this stigma. Hold your head up! You guys are strong, brave, beautiful, and so worthy of love!!!

@beckett7859

3 жыл бұрын

thank you for this message! i hope your doing alright. i have BPD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. thank you for your hope and prayers! i hope your dealing with your mental illnesses well. be safe during this pandemic!!!

@timmytim9054

3 жыл бұрын

This means a lot. Thank you

@razorsharplifestyle101hard9

3 жыл бұрын

@@beckett7859 Exactly,same here.

@sanjanashaji5228

3 жыл бұрын

So much love❤️

@brockpascoe1487

2 жыл бұрын

And a big hug to you, Amanda, for being a wonderful person. Thank you :)

"It's way better now cos I'm broke"... subscribed lol

@karajennings2482

5 жыл бұрын

I for real think that to myself. If I don't have money I won't spend it on stupid shit. Lol

@snakesmistress54

4 жыл бұрын

Most relatable comment in the video!

do you ever get a deep feeling of guilt that debilitates you

@templesunn

5 жыл бұрын

Yes :(

@rileyc5053

5 жыл бұрын

Frs 😣

@samanthasumpter8002

5 жыл бұрын

I figured out that what we (people with bpd) feel is shame not guilt. Shame is unhealthy and feels chronic, like I will feel like such a horrible person, tell myself I don't deserve good. Guilt seems more situational and rational like if you hurt someone's feelings it's ok to feel guilty and try to fix your mistake, it's not ok to tell yourself you're a horrible person and you are all bad down to the core (which is not true for anyone). I hope I made sense and this didnt come out confusing. Everyone of us deserves love and room for forgiveness.

@brandyadams8436

5 жыл бұрын

Yes!! It eats me alive and literally makes my flesh feel like it’s burning

@simonebenedetto7449

5 жыл бұрын

It got easier to deal with

1.constantly changing my mind about being in a relationship 2.binge/starve 3. Constantly looking for reassurance from others that I haven’t said or done the wrong thing to the point I piss people off. 4. Wanting to jump out my skin because my emotions are way to much 5.sleeping ALL the time 6.scratching scabs in my scalps until my hair falls out 🙃and don’t even realise I’m doing it ! 7.flirting with people who don’t want me 8.being needy AF

@doidom_rec

5 жыл бұрын

K C literally was scraching when i read this lol

@lylejay965

5 жыл бұрын

This is me

@vernaahava9533

4 жыл бұрын

Psychotic af i dont think you know what narcissim really is

@vernaahava9533

4 жыл бұрын

Psychotic af okay maybe you know better than i do

@vernaahava9533

4 жыл бұрын

Psychotic af i just dont like it when people run into conclusions too fast

I’m 22 and hearing parents yell or even some loud or sudden noises freak me and and give me anxiety anyone else? I think I hate to hear my parents yelling because it takes me back to the trauma as a kid so I literally avoid all unnecessary interaction with them now to the point of barely having a relationship because I’m so scared of anything coming out there mouth that will cause me anxiety

@brookiecookie6586

4 жыл бұрын

Yes my startle reflex gets immediately triggered

@generationwhy9753

4 жыл бұрын

Loud or sudden noises literally give me a heart attack and makes me shake. Takes a while to get my heart rate back to normal afterwards. It's like my body goes into instant panic mode.

@MariePriss

4 жыл бұрын

Same :(

@MabelRD08

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@kbs1212

3 жыл бұрын

Wow. And people ask me why I don’t believe people should have kids. That hurt me so much to read. You deserve love, and your parents have been riddling your life with trauma from the day you were born. It’s so selfish. Not everyone should be a parent because the majority don’t even know why they want to be. Hang in there sweetheart. You’re doing the right thing keeping sources of stress out of your life. ❤️

I have BPD too and I’m exactly the same. People are always like “everyone has these traits” but they don’t understand that it’s to the extremes for us

@razorsharplifestyle101hard9

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly, Extremely emotional traits.Thats what they don't have.

1.) Never leaving the house if I don't look 100% how I want. I'll have a full meltdown over my eyeliner or outfit not working out because I become paranoid people are going to criticize me. 2.) Changing around people. I act totally different around basically everyone I interact with because I am trying to be someone they'll respond to positively. Which is a problem when I'm around more than 1 person that I don't act the same around because then I don't know how to act for fear of rejection. 3.) Obsessive crushes. It was cute and funny to my family when I was younger. But I still have intrusive thoughts about people who in some way I have to confirm CAN'T like me back. So thinking about things working out feels like proving I'm valuable? Which I've only recently stopped pursuing these types of people because I deserve reciprocation. Thanks for making this video. BPD is not easy.

@markiekot

6 жыл бұрын

xxLAILAxxLukkzxx iI felt like You Were talking about me? How did you fix the last issue? That is truly driving me insane and keeping me from moving forward with my life and focusing on the most important things

@briannaw6883

6 жыл бұрын

i haven’t been diagnosed yet, my parents don’t find it serious. they think i’m just an emotional teenager with insecurities. i don’t know if i have bpd i don’t want to self diagnose myself, but it seems to be the most fitting to what i deal with on a daily basis. i relate to this so much. especially how u change when u act around people, having a breakdown over not liking how an outfit looks on u, i also have great fear of rejection and abandonment. if someone leaves me on read, or i say hey to them in person and they “ignored” me (which they prob just didn’t hear me) , i think i’m such an annoying person, a bother, and i go straight into this horrible mood of just intrusive self hating thoughts. im actually in a mood right now. and i feel as if i’m being such a bother even by typing this. does bpd make u feel like nuisance to everyone around u? like you’re constantly unwanted, annoying. this is long i’m sorry i just want to know if anyone can relate?

@markiekot

6 жыл бұрын

@@briannaw6883 I have felt this way for a very long time, mine was even worse, I have even deleted a number of a friend of mine simply because I felt the answer hey gave to me was forced and done out of pity or because they had left me on read as well, I avoided talking to my crush even though we were connecting in a way, because I thought he was playing with my emotions and that it couldn't be possible for me to have someone liking me, the fact that he was quite good looking and that many girls from the school (teachers included) liked him, didn't help at all, it only contributed to crush myself even more, but now I know all this will change once I'll move to China for a semester, I feel like I will be able to have a fresh start and get to know myself without all the distraction, I 'll be going next week. Can't wait!!

@dog90000

6 жыл бұрын

I relate to #3 it messes me up inside

@briannaw6883

6 жыл бұрын

Berchally i understand that completely! i will ignore my friends after i felt as if they’ve ignored me because i don’t want to keep looking annoying. i will post something on instagram, or my story, and be like oh god i’m gonna get judged, and delete it really fast. i delete my selfies and put them back on there, i delete sc and instagram so much because i feel like i need to get away from everyone and the media. it causes so much confusion and problems. and SAME WITH THE CRUSH. i’m a thing with a guy and he’s like the best looking in our school, and it makes me feel like crap. i used to date guys who people would say i could do better than, because i knew that they felt lucky, and it made me feel more loved and wanted. it sounds selfish, but i mean i fell for every guy i’ve been with. just being with someone that’s the best looking makes me feel so insecure and that he could easily leave me for someone better. and i distance myself from him

1. Purposefully get into relationships with people I'm not attracted to and know I'll never fall for because I'm afraid of being left and I like the attention 2. Cough, blink, tap in groups of 3, 6, 7, 9 and trace diamonds in the air with my eyes 3. If someone wrongs me I never talk to them. Ever. Again. 4. Anxiety attacks 5. Avoiding meeting new people because fear of it going wrong 5. Can never sleep enough 6. If I'm over stimulated I disassociate 7. Any time someone yells, even out of fun or joking, I get a rush of adrenaline 8. Terrible self confidence and feeling like I don't deserve good/pretty/fun people 9. Mental blocks in writing and expressing myself 10. Triggered by people who look kind of like bad people in my life and having to leave the situation

@mstmarieprov

6 жыл бұрын

I relate with you on so many of these. 😐😕

@gabrielmaximus6447

6 жыл бұрын

I got screened for bpd, scitzophernia..I have all of these except two and have PTSD, germaphobia and anxiety. I read there is a tiny cross over with PTSD and bpd as they really mimic each other , bpd usually has always been there, CPTSD gets progressively worse after each event

@KaraIsabella

6 жыл бұрын

Did the screening come back positive for bpd and schizophrenia? I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and "OCD tendencies" but I have a feeling there's more there.

@KaraIsabella

6 жыл бұрын

I feel your pain with you!

@emilywhitehouse3252

5 жыл бұрын

Omg you draw diamonds in the air with your eyes?! I’ve never told anyone I do this until I literally just commented on this video! I’m not alone 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼. Do you understand or know why you do it? I have always done it but can never understand why. I have to do it in shapes one way and then in reverse and if I start again I have to do each one the same in reverse and the same sizes otherwise I can’t have any other thoughts or listen to anything until I have completed the shapes. Sometimes as I draw it in my mind my finger also draws in the air. I don’t know I’m doing it until I’ve already started.

damn i can think of a few 1. i have extreme anger issues 2. i change my style and "personality" so often people cant keep up 3. i use edibles and tylenol 3 to make me feel a good feeling 4. i "betray" my fp alot because i dont want her to leave me first so i leave before she does 5. i developed anorexia 6. i get hallucinations and distorted thought bpd is fckn wild mans

@daniellelindsey555

5 жыл бұрын

I always avoided looking into bpd because I know how dysfunctional i am fuck

@athghost2256

5 жыл бұрын

2 for me was always stressful, needing to change, shame, etc. It slowed around age 20 though

@tweetie4143

5 жыл бұрын

i relate to 4 so much , holy shit ):

@brookoffthehook5166

5 жыл бұрын

My style changes almost daily

@brookoffthehook5166

5 жыл бұрын

I go from dressing like a butch some days, to dressing like a high school slut the next, then dressing comfy and not giving a shit how I look. I do not know my style because it switches constantly and it really is a struggle knowing what to buy at the store.

"I cant be destructive if I'm broke" omg MEEEEEE

Loved this video, girl. 🖤 I love your transparency. You’re helping so many people!!!

@nottoday4235

6 жыл бұрын

Jordan Shrinks love your channel Jordan ! That’s so cool you watch sammy too

@madammadhattersinnerella9197

6 жыл бұрын

You're not alone with this. Neither am I. ♡♡♡

@moriahscogin3402

6 жыл бұрын

Oh shit.. hey Jordan!! If you give this the go ahead so will I

I adore how open you are about your mental health

@SammyGrimm

6 жыл бұрын

thanks boo

Yes! #8 is something I struggle with. I hate when people say "I wish I could sleep that much" but in reality it ruins jobs, my social life, and general health... and I can't help it! Sleep is safety.

@dfinite4089

3 жыл бұрын

Sleep is safety. Yup.

@Lilmoonthief

Жыл бұрын

Same. People have shamed me for being on SSI and not working and I'm like ummmm I wanna work but I have panic attacks and get sent home sooo sorry my healing process is bothering u???? like oh my bad

One of the weird things that I’ve noticed is that I could just be opening up to somebody about past experiences / bad things, and I’ll start to get emotional and I could literally be crying my eyes out but then it all gets too much and it’s like, there’s a switch in my brain and I just turn off the emotions. Like I can immediately stop crying and just remove myself from the situation on queue. And just enable myself to feel nothing. Lol.

Honestly soooooooooooooo many people are walking around untreated (like with therapy ect) not knowing what’s wrong with them, destroying themselves and the people who come into their lives and will prob never have any sort of a good life because either they don’t care enough or their unaware that it’s the problem. It’s so refreshing to see someone who has gone through trauma like so many of us and actually takes ownership for themselves “today” and actually wants to feel better. Thank you for being so open 💕

@jada9181

5 жыл бұрын

Marie Love that’s exactly why i’m here , i’m too scared to ask for help

@EliBleu

5 жыл бұрын

I've dated bpd women and the problem is most of them just don't know why they are the way they are..Its heart breaking to watch .. I've gone to couples therapy with 2 of them and both times the therapist looked at the girl and said, "you need to have private counseling. One on one" and both times the girls never returned and brushed it off ... get the help you need

@EliBleu

5 жыл бұрын

@@jada9181 what are you scared might happen?

@jessica22p1

2 жыл бұрын

Yes I feel like most people have mental illness or disorders

fuuuuck, never related to a video this much before. I have a tendency to shut people out, I think it's a coping mechanism I developed almost like instead of being abandoned I abandon people before they can leave me. I think it stems from a place of being so scared of being left I would rather not be with people at all, and I feel like I ruin everything around me, so why would I subject new innocent people to it. I also bounce back and fourth from being incredibly hyper-sexual to feeling like the most disgusting and shameful person on the planet, it really takes a toll after a while. I really need to see a therapist again! Blah anyways, I really loved this video and excited to go watch your other videooos! Keep on being you, girl!!

@notsev7566

6 жыл бұрын

I am going through the same thing right now and have been for years. Thank you for writing this.

@anon_sls6106

6 жыл бұрын

Gurrrl I feel you!

@thedimediane

5 жыл бұрын

Miranda Roberts same ...

@mina22200

5 жыл бұрын

Omg I just feel the same girk

@unclenomas9262

5 жыл бұрын

You poor thing lets start off by telling me about your Father shall we?

1, changing around other people 2, obsessive crushes 3, anger issues 4, eating 5, drug and alcohol abuse 6, dissociating 7, bad thoughts 8, insecure 9, will have a meltdown over tiny things 10, nervousness 11, I feel rlly lonely like it’s not like I miss my ex I just miss cuddling with them and I feel bad for that 12, Well ever since I was born up until I was eleven I used to always have to sleep with this stuffed bear my mum would always try and take it off me because my dad bought me it and they got a divorce so one day my mum binned it when I was like eleven when I was at school and I came home and realised to I cried the whole day :/ 13, unable to get out of bed 14, paranoia 15, high se x drive.. ( I’m not diagnosed with anything because I’ve never spoke to anyone about it)

@CM-qy2fm

5 жыл бұрын

Sarah Maitland same

@sarahs5903

5 жыл бұрын

Dope Fiend lol what?

@sarahs5903

5 жыл бұрын

Dope Fiend lol alrighty thennn

@GingerOMG

5 жыл бұрын

This also sounds like autism. Many women with autism get misdiagnosed with bpd.

@GingerOMG

5 жыл бұрын

@Big Boss Donkarasu yes ofc :) but this person is not diagnosed, so I thought another perspective than just bpd could be good.

Something ive recently learned that was sort of odd that i do because of my mental illness is i have to wake up with 2 to 3 hours to just get ready before i leave my house. Most of it is honestly just spacing out. Its like my brain needs time to "load" before im ready to face the outside world. Or else im pretty much guaranteed to have an episode because i just start off too overwhelmed. At least since ive learned this about myself im seldom late though which is kind of cool for someone who used to be chronically late.

@allysonpowell

4 жыл бұрын

Lahvindar Rainbow omg I do this as well. I would wake up at like 5am before I even had to go out to the bus stop at like 7. I just needed that extra time after getting ready to relax and prepare myself mentally before going out. I’m glad I’m not alone.

@LocaLuna222

4 жыл бұрын

Yes! I do this too! Work at 9am.. and I would get up at 6am!... and Basically do nothing... sit in silence.... and as time goes by, i’ll go on Facebook Instagram Twitter KZread... than, get ready for work... and before I leave, I always take a minute to sit in silence

@analei1791

4 жыл бұрын

Sometimes you can try and mentally load yourself from 9am-4pm and you still end up having an episode..

@arleneshanley9889

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@alondratorres5659

2 жыл бұрын

I work the night shift and I can relateee. I will be up sometimes really early at like 12pm when I should be sleeping but if I fall asleep I won’t be able to have time to prepare Lolol so I just stay up 😭

this dead ass helped me feel more human. thank you for putting yourself out there.

@aroundnabout4290

5 жыл бұрын

@@roofieandraggy16 dude, what?

@mattk6719

5 жыл бұрын

@@roofieandraggy16 Nah, he would BE one.

Crying watching this. Everything you’ve said is exactly me. I do the extent same things. I’m just coming to terms that I have mental issues. It’s so hard admitting it in the black community because were expected to just be strong and push everything off, or being told church and prayers is the answer for everything and sadly it’s not. It makes it hard for me to be a mom. I find comfort in the darkness a lot of the time and death is something I would welcome so many days.

@invisibleghost85

6 жыл бұрын

Stay strong x

@taracat7723

6 жыл бұрын

Madison Perry God loves you

@charityhope9546

6 жыл бұрын

What helped me was researching borderline to understand myself. It helped me to be more self aware and do better self care. I also recommend buying a dialectical therapy book it’s extremely helpful tool in coping and improving.

@ThatsNajma

6 жыл бұрын

You got this beautiful 💕

@InnaVitamina777

6 жыл бұрын

Sending a big hug your way ! Hang in there girl --help is available, and just remember you're not alone !

If I was honest to my therapist I would be inpatient for the rest of my life lmao and I don't want that

@ILikePizza01

5 жыл бұрын

I brought this up with my therapist once jokingly and he laughed and told me that that's not how insurance works lmao

@kimKim-uu6wh

5 жыл бұрын

Me 🤣🤣🤣

@brandyadams8436

5 жыл бұрын

I thought that too but my therapist has been doing it since 1979 & when I laid it all out there she basically said it’s not uncommon so that was a huge relief for me!!

@princess13dachshund

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah also the thing is I mean you probably don’t even realize how much therapists have seen and they are really able to normalize almost anything

1. Outbursts of crazy anger (tantrums) over spilt milk situations, getting over it super fast, then getting mad at myself again cause I'm such a crazy ass. 2. Splitting with friendships. Going from "let's hang out everyday!" To "I can't stand the things you do!" 3.Overeating to fill the emptiness feeling from my lack of self identity. Not eating at all when I'm depressed. 4. SUBSTANCES, always trying to change how I feel. 5. Every emotion is extreme, feels like a tidal wave. 6. I know when I am overreacting, but dont know how to stop. 7. Reckless/impulsive behavior when I'm mad, speeding, loud yelling, punch/break stuff, substance abuse, the list goes on. 8. When I meet new people I come on way too strong, often telling them way too much about my life. 9. When I'm mad I want people to know it. 10. Same as you with the money, being broke is almost a blessing at this point. BPD is pretty much my lifestyle😅😪 Great video👍🏼👌🏼✌🏼

@asiarose8071

5 жыл бұрын

I was diagnosed with BPD in 2005, so I can relate to a lot of my things that you've mentioned here since 2012. Before 2012 I was a 'Quite' Borderline, then started acting out completely the opposite way after my stroke.

@anthonybergeson6337

5 жыл бұрын

@@asiarose8071 wow that is interesting!

When you mentioned disassociating, I felt that. I never knew what this was called but I do this all the time. Thanks for sharing!

Does anyone here have quiet bpd? For a long time i had all the symptoms of bpd except for my relationships, i could always keep pretty steady relationships and even in a rush of emotion i wouldn't lash out or let anyone know i was upset. All my impulsive behaviors were done more in private so people couldn't ever tell. It's harder to get diagnosed when its more quiet and for a while i thought i was just going crazy cause the symptoms would match up but then they wouldn't, until i found out about quiet bpd and got an actual diagnoses.

@tinababy91

5 жыл бұрын

smith subs that’s what I’m curious about. I’m not diagnosed but finally for the first time I’m relating with many people here. Idk what type so I plan to see a doctor soon & get some real answers

@maddiepriede7320

5 жыл бұрын

It makes me feel happy to know that someone else has the same experience as me. I believe it would be considered high functioning bpd. I have very strong relationships, but very very few. Because I can still function, I’m not on medication and sometimes I wonder if it would help...

@Dem765

5 жыл бұрын

I have quiet bpd but i dont have healthy relationships. Ive actually gotten to the point where i dont have any relationships. Ive broken them all off and i push literally every person away whilst convincing myself its because im unlikable. Im incredibly lonely whilst terrified of being alone(which means im living the bpd terror). Its very rare for someone with borderline to meet every single criteria. If you have healthy relationships thats great and that means you can have a healthy support system to help you through the other unpleasant symptoms of bpd(cause theres a lot of them and they all suck). A part of having bpd is being unable to relate, so its only natural that you have trouble relating to the disorder itself

@miyaharvey-paling2295

5 жыл бұрын

After reading some of these comments and watching this video I feel as though I relate a lot to many people so I'm not sure what I should do. My boyfriend and best friend know about the things I feel and do which are a lot like someone with bpd so I'm not sure if I should mention this illness to them.

@hedderhatesyou2251

5 жыл бұрын

Me! I have everything with BPD except no substance abuse and my anger isn’t too bad.

My 3 most significant relationships have been with borderline women; I don't consciously seek them out but I think it's the emotional intensity and hypersensitivity that I'm drawn to. I relate to it.

1. Having a chronic emptiness/void that nothing can fill is THE worst so I’ve formed a habit where I spend most of my days crying 2. Not knowing who I am or who I want to be most days. Constantly changing my ideals or hobbies to try to fit in anywhere because I feel I don’t belong anywhere 3. Constant mood swings that are EXHAUSTING! I can go zero to 100 in a matter of seconds 4. Angry or annoyed at everyone and everything… easily triggered 5. Dissociating and blanking out because it’s my only way to escape the pain I’m feeling 6. Feeling extremely lonely and hoping and praying that the people in my life don’t leave me because there’s no possible way I could EVER be alone or I will die 7. Having a depressive aura about me that people I never met notice. Apparently I look miserable and unapproachable but that’s because I’d rather not make small talk and just be left alone 8. Always talking to myself in my mind or sort of whispering out loud about why these things are even happening and when it’ll get better if ever 9. Also hypersexual. My boyfriend hates it and it’s now made me not enjoy sex either. But my body still wants/needs it 10. Extreme ocd about germs and illnesses. If someone is sick I keep an extreme distance and wash my hands and compulsively clean with bleach 11. I’m always tired but sleep sometimes can be non existent for days

i feel like i finaly found someone that understands me

I cant stop crying ive never heard someone say all of these things so honestly before. I lie to myself so much and hearing you say all of that (which I literally relate to all of those and more) it feels so comforting to no im not completely alone in my habits

@marisaizquierdo3789

6 жыл бұрын

Jordan Van Rooyen girl, I started crying too tbh. This shit definitely hit me. And I didn’t expect it to. ♥️

@amayiahjade911

5 жыл бұрын

yes i relate to this so much and it’s so comforting knowing others do

stuff i deal with: 1. never wanting to be by myself but getting extremely depressed when i am alone all day 2. anger issues, jesus 3. over eating or under eating obsessively 4. missing my medication for legit one day and getting so paranoid that i messed up my whole brain rhythm and having the worst panic/anxiety attack when i do 5. the worst mood swings like ever, one little thing will piss me off or hurt my feelings and ill be a goner 6. being overly funny and the most liked person in the room to cover up 7. self harm 8. extremely insecure but overly confident in front of anyone (family, friends, etc) and when i have a breakdown and talk about how super insecure i actually am no one believes me 9. always having mental breakdowns 10. nervous/anxious all of the time 11. HATE to be touched by anyone or anything except for my boyfriend of who i trust very much, but even then we didn't do anything sexual for the first six months of our relationship 12. still sucking my thumb when i go to bed LMAO and im twenty years old. boyfriend thinks its "cute" and "adorable" but it was how i rocked myself to sleep when i was younger and dealing with pain/trauma 13. i sleep literally all day, like you guys do not understand, unless my boyfriend comes over and helps me get out of bed i will sleep until my next eight hour graveyard shift and it continues like that every day until my day off where i sleep all day, run a few errands, then come back to sleep at night 14. overly sensitive but also dont care about literally anything at all lol 15. wanting everyone to stay in my life but when they leave i disassociate and have a "i dont give a fuck" attitude about any and everything ------- i have been diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, bipolar 1 disorder from one psychiatrist and borderline personality disorder from the other psychiatrist, but prescribed 3 different medications to sustain pretty much everything. honestly, am not complaining! happy there is something out there that can make me feel somewhat stable

@frankietower6753

5 жыл бұрын

Brooklyn Smithers you just described me. I have quite a few more major symptoms and have been diagnosed with the same things as you but also a couple more possibilities due to the fact that so many are co occurring disorders therefore making it hard to rule out a couple in my case. Do you mind me asking what meds are working for you? I’m on a new one this week but they all make me sleep (even the uppers) because I have the opposite effects with everything and have my whole life. Im not sure I like my newest meds but I’ve been on so many other things and I just stop taking them cuz I feel so exhausted with the process and I also feel bad telling my dr that another one is failing after they get really excited for me to try each new type. I know they said it’s not a big deal and that it’s what they’re here for us to get me the best meds for me, but I hate going in and feeling like I’m a huge negative person or something cuz I’m always the only 1 who it doesn’t work for. Ugh. I’m hoping hearing from someone with a good experience and result will help me help them in finding what I need. It’s hard when they don’t experience what we do and there’s only so much they can pull from what I tell them or don’t tell them about my true depth of “craziness” and ‘crazy’ things I do all day everyday.

@brooklynbuilds

5 жыл бұрын

@@frankietower6753 -- Hey! Thank you for sharing! I used to think my doctor hated me as well until she opened up to me about how much it pains her and other doctors to see so many young adults struggling with something so severe as in my case, and that all they want is for us to live a normal, young adult life where we are "carefree" and "happy" and whatever. I am currently on 200mg of Zoloft, 100mg of Welbutrin, and a very low dose of xanax for my anxiety that is supposed to be taken as needed! If the medication is making you sleepy, remember that it is most likely just a side effect as many mood stablizers/ antidepressants have some pretty bad side effects before the medication starts to actually work. It takes about 6-8 weeks for the medication to properly work, you just have to be patient hon! I know it sucks, especially when 2 months have passed and every day youre taking a pill that seems to not work at all and it just seems like an endless cycle of failure and disappointment, but trust me when I say that when you find the right one for you, your entire life will do a 360 degree turn. So worth the wait

@linneamills6814

5 жыл бұрын

I have never related to someone so much. Thank you for putting it to words

@brooklynbuilds

5 жыл бұрын

Linnea Mills - No problem!! If you need anything feel free to message me.

@estheradao

5 жыл бұрын

Girl same! Omg I though I was the only one feeling like thar

I appreciate your words. I wish I had been more conscious of BPD at your age because I am 56 and have struggled with some of these issues my entire life. It has been a long, and difficult road. Thanks for your video!

@samanthasumpter8002

5 жыл бұрын

The BPD diagnosis hasn't been around for very long, I'm sorry you've had to be alone with it for so long without knowing why you were feeling that way

@bbfrank888

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Edward, hope you’re doing well

@heatherjohnson333

2 жыл бұрын

I was just diagnosed at age 50. It threw me for a mighty big loop. Most of my immediate family won't talk to me anymore. They punished me for my two suicide attempts and they punished me my whole life for things that at the time I didn't even know I was doing. I started using drugs to cope and they look down on me for that. I have never felt so alone in my life. I feel better reading these posts and listening to the video. Thank you for sharing. I hope you have lots of support.

@beckeredward14

2 жыл бұрын

@@heatherjohnson333 This is an impossible thing to explain to others. I appreciate that you shared too. I agree that it can be lonely. I would strongly suggest drug rehab and counseling ASAP. It is not any easy road but a necessary one.

i love her nose.

@xxxMusoukaxxx

5 жыл бұрын

YES

@paigebird8866

5 жыл бұрын

hahaha i'm glad i'm not the only one

@EvaRadio

5 жыл бұрын

Haha me too

@everyoneever6366

5 жыл бұрын

I was just scrolling the comments and this just popped out randomly😂

@dirtynipples26

5 жыл бұрын

weird flex but okay

"Abandonment" is a poor word to describe the borderline's trigger because 99 times out of 100, it's not literal abandonment but instead it's that the other person is not COMPLETELY mirroring the state, opinion and feelings the Borderline is experiencing. So you say to them "I don't think I agree with that" and they hear "I hate you, you're ugly".

@mv5984

6 жыл бұрын

Nah. Plenty of men only say what women want to hear. And there are plenty of women (like myself) who speak plainly. Don't stereotype.

@KaraIsabella

6 жыл бұрын

those are not the same things and should not be compared.

@agarcia3986

6 жыл бұрын

Because women by nature are naturally mostly emotional creatures, we take a lot of things to be very literal. For instance, if you tel your girlfriend you don’t like the dress she’s wearing, she might take that to mean you don’t like her instead. Borderline is a very different thing. From experience as a women with BPD who knows people who don’t have BPD, it’s like this: my emotions change rapidly and normally without reason. I’m happy one minute and literally sixty seconds later I’m depressed and having the urge to hurt myself. When someone doesn’t do what I feel is right for them to do, I get angry. Very angry. In those moments I use my words to hurt people that I love because I’m angry with them, and I take a certain level of pleasure from upsetting them because I don’t like to be hurt. So the only way I can keep from being hurt is to hurt back. Some days I’m just depressed and can’t get out of bed. Somedays I hate myself, somedays I love myself. I never really know. I’m impulsive when it comes to spending money and have no grasp on how to save at all. Basically, my mind’s a fucked up place and I’m a fucked up person, but I’m learning to manage these symptoms as I go.

@scottj719

6 жыл бұрын

People on the receiving end of this feel like the punishment the Borderline dispenses doesn't fit the crime. The receiver did something which maybe was an annoyance to most people but the Borderline reacted like it was an injustice.

@dewilew2137

6 жыл бұрын

what perceived abandonment

1.I sleep with plush items on me. Could be a blanked(multiple) a large stuffed animal or pillow. 2.I get attached to items amd want them around me 3.I have to spend all the money i get. 4. I sleep untill I just blackout. I never notice when i fall asleep 5. Very very sexual 6.agressive texter, but will o ly text one person 7.I'm very toxic with my partners 8. I do self harm 9.I binge eat. Then when I vomit from over eating or alcohol i won't eat for as long as possible. 10. I keep changing careers 11. I chop off my hair very often

@cris_here

5 жыл бұрын

Marlen Chicas omg 10 and 11!!!

@blabla6878

5 жыл бұрын

Omg I have all of this things

@rosee9252

5 жыл бұрын

Me the other day I chopped apart of my hair off because I was trying to cut layers but i got mad and cut it now my hairs uneven as fuck 😭 becsuse I cant even decide how I want to look

@aaliyahali3311

5 жыл бұрын

Hi i am sorry about this hope u get the strength I am. Literally crying Honestly U are Not crazy

I’ve suspected BPD for about 4 years now, and am going to work on confirming if this is BPD, or PTSD, or something else entirely. But I’ve noticed I have a lot of the same symptoms like; 1: convincing myself I don’t want to be in a relationship and that I’m meant to be all alone for the rest of my life whenever things get remotely difficult 2: making shit up in my head. Thinking my mother doesn’t actually care about me she just doesn’t want to be alone like her mom. Thinking my boyfriend doesn’t love me, he either a) is waiting for me to get isolated enough to abuse me, b) wants someone around to help out around the house, with his dog, and bills, or c) is only with me out of a sense of duty. I’ll think everyone secretly hates me or is just tolerating me if they have too neutral of a reaction to me at any given time. It’s exhausting having to talk sense into myself 24/7 and whenever I’m in pain (I also have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome so like every day) I find it harder to keep my grip on reality. 3: if I have an outburst and lash out at anyone I suffer from crippling guilt. Even if I wasn’t all that hurtful or I made up with them the guilt is crippling and I find it exacerbates number 4: wanting to change who I am maybe to escape the horrible patterns and crushing guilt I’ve accumulated. Changing my personality or something about myself will bring distance to whatever problem I feel plagued by 5: Crying at everything when I’m a depressive state. I’ll read a sentence or hear a snip of a story that has anything to do with trauma and I have to work so hard not to break down. I can be exposed to the most depressing shit when I’m not struggling with BPD but If I’m in an episode I have no control over it 6: I’ll be going along thinking my mental health is getting better and that I am finally getting a hold on it and then BAM I’ll have a sensory overload and have an outburst. Then it feels like my efforts were undone and that completely unhinges me and I’m back to square one

I have Recently been Diagnosed with this ...I always knew something was Different about me but never was told until now...watching this I realize I have so many things in common with you it feels like I'm not Alone ...

Thank you for sharing this! I'm newly diagnosed. One of my huge struggles is instant anger and rage when I am asked questions... Of any kind... It feel like even the question "what's for dinner" is somehow an attack against me... 😕😬😩

@wmluna381

5 жыл бұрын

I don't have BPD, but it's interesting to learn about these different struggles and diagnoses. I had to laugh, the what's for dinner question is triggering for me as well. Like WTF, am I the CEO of dinner?! An ex of mine would call me at work towards the end of the day to ask me this question. Just about every day for 2 years straight. I can eat a bowl of cereal or get a $5 pizza and call it a day. I just detest being locked into routine and expectations. Yup, so I def get triggered now. GTFO here with the dinner shite🍲 😄

I don't have borderline personality disorder but I have to thank you because some guy friend of mine does and I was trying to get the perspective of the sufferer so thank you, I can see he has much of what you had/have so this was incredibly helpful!

Wow I really thought I was the only one. I’ve had odd “rituals” as well since I was very young and never understood them. I genuinely thought I was crazy.

@Em_Elizabeth

3 жыл бұрын

Same. My family used to make fun of me for them. Couldn't explain why I did them, just felt like I had to.

I also have a blankie! About to be 29, but I don’t care. I think everyone with BPD should try having a special comfort object. It helps so much. 💖

@Amy-dd1xm

5 жыл бұрын

Im 44..i have a pillow i cant be without..i bought 5 more exactly like it becuz of worrying it will disappear

@sunsetoverl.a.1014

5 жыл бұрын

I have a stuffed dog, lol, that immediately makes me feel so calm.

@amandavengelen626

5 жыл бұрын

That is so strange. I have recently been diagnosed with bpd and have a pillow I’ve always been obsessed with.

@lisabrown2579

5 жыл бұрын

Amber Smith same!

@nrgbunni.

5 жыл бұрын

I have a fluffy sloth teddy bear I hug to sleep at night to comfort me.

I just wanted to say, hang in there, stay positive, it WILL get easier. I was a mess in my 20’s. I had been through so much and in my attempt to get away from my unhealthy home life I joined the Air Force. That was like putting an amplifier on all of my problems. I had a baby and had to move back home. I felt like I was stuck on a carousel on full speed , in the dark. I met my husband and immediately moved in with him. Things were rocky in the start but he took the time to understand not only what I was going through at that time but the thoughts, feelings and experiences I had in the past. He gave me the comfort and security that I needed to become less reliant on my family. He went to my doctor appointments so as I learned and understood my health problems, mental and physical, he learned and understood too. Now I am 40 and so much of that horror is 15-20 years behind me. It has still played a huge part in who I am but I am way better at choosing who to let into my life. I am what my husband calls adorkably childish. When we travel I have to bring what we loving refer to as my “squad” (my pillow, my woobie, my bunny( stuffed), my sponge bob sheet and yes, even my cup, plate and spoon from home. I just feel so much more at peace now. I still have most of my symptoms but most of the time you only see little glimpses or glimmers especially from the outside. The only ones I’ve let fully in are my husband and son. They just see my habits as part of me. My major stressor right now is a fear of being bandied by my son. He is 16 and so mature and independent and next year he will be going to college. I’m dealing with it in my own way and rationally I know that his independence is not abandonment. I’m sorry to ramble on but I hope you have at least some comfort knowing it is possible to find a peaceful life. I will only list my mental illnesses if you are curious to know and ask. I know that sometimes those things can be triggering and I don’t want to put that on you with out your consent. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Chelle

i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few years ago, but ive always felt like there was something more to what i was experiencing in my head. i really connected to you alot while watching this video and i experience alot of very similar symptoms due to my own past traumas. i may start going back to my therapist to look deeper into my mental illness.

Finding out next week if I have Bpd or ptsd (or both). I'm 23 now. I would definitely describe me as an highly emotional person who gets overwhelmed easily. Struggling with my relationships mostly. And constantly living with anxiety since a very long time. The fear of abandonment is a pain in the ass because it controls me. I get the urge to question the people around me (if they really love me) to the point where I no longer trust their words(because I made the situation). I'm leaving myself as the root of the problem.. not knowing what part of myself is Bpd or my actual personality. So, unclear identity is also a huge issue. Also escaping from emotions like drug abuse, self harm, sex abuse, isolation, quitting work/school. Black and White thinking. I just feel so alone, feeling like no one can handle me so it's easier to stay alone.

@anam3639

3 жыл бұрын

Did u got ur diagnosis??

this is your first video I’ve ever watched. I relate to every single thing you said, its crazy. getting obsessed with people is one of my biggest struggles for 1) they never meet my expectations and i just end up hurting myself and 2) i lose that sense of ‘me’ like who i actually am as i just try to be like someone else. when i was younger i used to alway select one specific person (usually celebrity) and be like ok from now on my goal is to do everything the way they do it, have the same style etc it was just exhausting BPD is truly an awful thing to have and I know for a fact that people who dont have it will never FULLY understand 😪 new subscriber 🙋🏻‍♀️💓

@sarapierce4086

5 жыл бұрын

Oh wow. Is this a big symptom of borderline personality disorder? And do you do it with like people you meet in real life or just celebrities? Ty..its very interesting to me and I have a degree in human services and am trying to learn..ty again!

@TheMissMBass

5 жыл бұрын

Sara Pierce sorry for the late reply! to he honest I’m not sure if that is something everyone with BPD experiences but being obsessive with people is definitely a huge symptom. it was people from my everyday life as well celebrities, usually school ‘crushes’ but in a really intense way. if you are interested in anything else feel free to ask, I am glad to help, theres so many interesting factors about this disorder

@stacikalass

5 жыл бұрын

Yes. I do that too.

I’m so impressed by your ability to be honest. Bravo for being honest and transparent. You seem so “normal” I’m curious. I keep seeing videos where other people (armchair therapists) who create videos covering people with BPD and Narcissism. What I’m seeing a lot of is this common theme where they say stuff like “run” from these people and “they cannot be helped and on and on. This makes me so angry because there is no black and white fix for relationships that are troubled. Abuse of any kind is unacceptable but to treat these people as if they are disposable and to be thrown away is wrong. Anyway, I like your style and candor

@missrissa37

5 жыл бұрын

But narcissists treat people like they are worthless and disposable all the time ? What's the difference

@Kyutenessss

5 жыл бұрын

@@missrissa37 well people with BPD don't. We are damaged people who have serious issues but we do not deserve to be treated as disposable and as if we should just be avoided. Many of us are very kind and loving. We have serious attachment issues and anxieties from abuse/trauma.

@missrissa37

5 жыл бұрын

@@Kyutenessss I think they were referring to people saying avoid n discard narc ppl not bpd ppl

@addye1385

5 жыл бұрын

i had an abnormal psych professor who worked in the therapeutic field 20 years before he began teaching. i really liked the professor because he would always tell these stories and cases that he'd encounter and pretty much peoples cognitive process/actions when having certain illnesses and he'd always be at least sorta nice/respectful of people and their corresponding disorders. when when it was time to talk about BPD he was absolutely rude. being someone with BPD i straight up cried because of how hurtful what he said was. after describing the diagnostic criteria of somebody with borderline he started saying things like "ive never met a psychologist who liked working with somebody who had BPD" "people with bpd are always highly manipulative and thats the reason theyll never be in a stable relationship" "they use people because thats how they get what they want" you bet your ass he got an angry email from me later that day addressing the situation.

@JV-tg2ne

5 жыл бұрын

S T A G E S Booking and Promotions - come back after you suffer the consequences of caring for a narcissistic mentally ill individual

i hate being touched, like i cant even hug my mum, or if someone accidentally brushes against me i jump.

@jessiec8330

5 жыл бұрын

ponyfin I also had this symptom and its very sad but it has finally passed after one year

@asiarose8071

5 жыл бұрын

I feel very awkward giving my mum a hug. I'm slowly trying to do it more often now.

@honeybeesmakegravy

3 жыл бұрын

Did she hug you as a kid?

@Em_Elizabeth

3 жыл бұрын

Same. I couldn't help but realize "hey...I used to hug my mom when I was little and actually liked it, weird!" My theory is that I stopped hugging family ever since she opened her arms and slapped me on both sides of the head when I went in for a hug when I was 8 or 9.

I do the same thing with texting my boyfriend but I just text “I love you” to see if he’ll text it back. I don’t ask “do you love me?” because I’m scared I’ll scare him away.

Holy shit. I over react all the time to people don't respond to my messages. I HATE IT. I want to stop doing it especially since I know I am being irrational. But I get upset about it every time without fail. It sucks and it is SO annoying. I relate to a lot of things you talked about in your video. Thank you for talking about it.

“BPD turn up!” *mood* I can only use humor and sarcasm when discussing my shit

1. Anger issues 2. Constantly needing reassurance 3. About every 3-6 months I move the entire house around. Furniture, cupboards, sometimes even switch bedrooms. 4. Very sexually hyper 5. No friends. Or the ones I do have which are 2 they don’t talk to me allot 6. Scared everyone is going to leave me 7. When I do consume alcohol I have to be watched or else I will drink the entire bottle. Used to struggle with pills and I would basically play with death. See how many I could take before it was to much. 8. Obsessing over people 9. Constantly changing my appearance 10. Wanting to up and move. Change my name. My everything about me. Hair, cloths, style, social media, and start a new life.

@rileyc5053

5 жыл бұрын

You just described me 💀

@harleyhutton7248

5 жыл бұрын

Completely understand the changing of the rooms, I have to change my house around once a week. :/

@stefandre1735

5 жыл бұрын

And I have bordeline.My symptoms is,1 very anger,2 mood swings,3 I love you and after hate you,4 dipression,5 narcissistic symptoms,6 jealous everything.

@lauramcgarrick1066

5 жыл бұрын

No10. Definitely

@samshinegamer

5 жыл бұрын

Omg rearranging the house 🤔 I needed your comment. Thank you.

This is me. All day, everyday. Hang in there, girl. I feel your pain. 😩

I relate sooo sooo much to this. I was just saying I wish I had someone to talk to who would understand, and I’m glad I’ve found this video. The most relatable thing was trying to be like people and being obsessed with them. I also relate to splitting all the damn time with friends and family depending on how often we interact, how they say things, etc. thank you for sharing this!!!

@choosensheep352

5 жыл бұрын

Same Here.

I love you Sammy♡ I have BPD as well and you remind me a lot of myself. Brian is literally goals because he loves ALL of you and is mindful. Stay positive ♡

@SammyGrimm

6 жыл бұрын

thanks celina! much love to you girl!

This makes me feel not alone in dealing with these things. Thank you for this ❤️

Everyone needs a blankie!

We have a lot of similarities, particularly the childhood trauma, hyper sexual behavior, bingeing and black and white thinking. I also revert to child-like behavior sometimes. I’m working on stuff with healing my inner child in therapy. Disney movies help also. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD however and the symptoms are very similar to BPD. I’m glad I found your channel. You’re so cute too. 😋 Finding someone with similar struggles makes me feel less alone so thank you for sharing.

@Xana_K

6 жыл бұрын

Cptsd and bpd are two very different things. Bpd is a personality disorder. And Cptsd isn't. Bpd is a lifelong disorder that needs constant therapy. Cptsd is healable with enough self love and care, you can put your life back on track.

@SocialLocust

6 жыл бұрын

Xana K. They can be comorbid and personality disorders are not necessarily lifelong. It just takes a lot more work.

@rachelblackwell5207

6 жыл бұрын

Xana K. Lol, I’m not a newbie at this. My symptoms have been severe for almost a decade, my abuse began at 3 and I’m now 35 so I’m well aware. BPD actually, most certainly co-exists in my case. CPTSD over that kind of span is a life long struggle but thanks for the expert opinion.

@rachelblackwell5207

6 жыл бұрын

WiseFool thank you 😊

Hell good for you for just HAVING a boyfriend! I'm 44 and and still can't have a boyfriend. I'm also very hypersexual and sex is way easier than a relationship. I'm so intense I wear myself out. But thank you.

@annolian69

5 жыл бұрын

Same for me. This has been my life. Hyper sexual, promiscuous, terrified of abandonment but can't even get past the second date with a "normal" guy who would treat me well. I'm 49 and can't seem to hold down a relationship or even connect with someone who wants to be with me who would be healthy for me. I just got diagnosed with BPD and it's a relief because at least now I know WHY. It's so hard. The more you're "rejected" by men because of your behavior (symptoms) the more it's reinforced that you'll be alone or abandoned. Sex is great because that's something I love and I'm good at so it's a way to distract but also get approval and "affection".

@annolian69

5 жыл бұрын

Now I'm getting treatment and feeling hopeful!

@trenorman832

5 жыл бұрын

I'm on this vid because I had a gf for a couple months before she just jetted on me with no warning. Started accusing me of things i've never done and projecting her shit onto me. I was always good to her and patient, it really messed with my head

@Yeahyeahblahblah

5 жыл бұрын

Kimberly W I’m the exact same way. I’m sorry you’re suffering too.

You are amazing! My mother and i both have bpd and it's definitely cathartic to see you openly discuss how it has manifested through your life! Keep it up. And thanks lady

Thank you so much for having the courage to share all of this. I have BPD as well and it's so nice to "meet" someone who totally gets it. THANK YOU.

That’s crazy, I’m literally the EXACT same with my blanket. It’s the same as your story but I actually recently had it put inside a Build-A-Bear because it was getting so old and worn.

A twin of Trisha Paytas, except clearly more self-aware....

@SammyGrimm

6 жыл бұрын

OMG best compliment ever...

@jpscharged

6 жыл бұрын

Sammy-Marie Grimm your level of self awareness is really really high. You’ll be just fine. But don’t lie to the therapist anymore. 😂 Gonna show this video to my wife. She doesn’t know what’s wrong but many of her issues Aline with BPD.

@mike-ue4wy

5 жыл бұрын

Good luck,.I'd like to hear how it goes, because, perceived criticisms or hurt feelings can trigger a shitstorm.

@endless0loveless021

5 жыл бұрын

Trisha is actually very self-aware and intelligent. her whole dumb blonde persona is an act she puts up. i saw a video awhile back where she explained it.

I had to rewatch the entire video because I caught myself dissociating

The Splitting is SO hard to deal with on the receiving end. Extremely emotionally trying.

I have been clinically tested for this, PTSD, Autism and ADHD. The Autism and ADHD I was born with. The rest was trauma. No medication works for me because these are conflicting diagnosis, but CBDs and marijuana absolutely works for me. One thing my therapist told me, and I will never forget it because just hearing about it helped me so much is that the brain and body have almost individual memories. So I have the anxiety/panic mood switch thing that really throws people off, instead of the OCD... though for a time I did suffer from Bad Thought OCD I overcame it with meditation and learning how to control my thoughts (highly recommend for anyone with BPD btw). I was having this feeling of panic like terror come over me. Nothing would be going on and it was all in the body, starting sort of in the gut. It affected my heart rate and my breathing just like flashbacks only I wasn't having any flashbacks, but this feeling would sometimes drag my mind into that space along with it. It was an awful feeling. She said that doing things for the body, like the CBD which has a body calming effect, running my hands under warm water or playing in sand, anything (like your blanket) that can offer self comfort when the body is going through that can go a long way to help heal. We did that and EMDR for the trauma and that self harm that I use to do and no longer do, even though it seemed to help at the time, was really just a way to mentally move the pain from the brain to the body via association because trauma in the body was more tolerable at the time. Now that my mind is better, I am having to deal with the body side of it. Have any of you heard of that? I hadn't but it made SO much sense. Everything she told me really helped me. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is the correct therapy for this problem (and I cal it a problem because for me it is) and I have had a huge amount of success combining that with the EMDR, which if you disassociate a lot, may or may not be the right treatment for you. I just know it worked for me.

@AKoll-gn6eq

5 жыл бұрын

Ok so I dissociate a lot and have tried EMDR and understand everything you've typed but started getting anxious when I got to a certain point because lately I honestly thought something with my lungs was wrong because all day at work in alone in a deli/bakery and can't stop the negative thoughts over and over as usual but I've had a hard time breathing or just, shallow breathing all day putting me in a haze, didn't know it could be related to my mental problems but makes so much sense now... ruminating so much my heart and breathing slow?? Like my body is trying to shut down

@femrock4116

4 жыл бұрын

How are you doing now?

all the love for your strength and courage in sharing such a vulnerable thing about you. you are truly such a strong human being, Sammy. your openness is beyond...sending all the love❤️

I am struggling with BPD and I am 19 you literally relate to me in every level! I’m trying to figure it out myself and I hope I’m comfortable enough to live with it

Fantastic video. I’m a mental health therapist myself and love seeing other videos on mental health! 💜💜💜

I have full-blown OCD and BPD as well. The OCD gets better with age...I am now 46, but the BPD has gotten worse. I hate sex, by the way. I also have chronic pain. Fibromyalgia and Degenerative Disk Disease and a form of Endometriosis. I have some ADHD, too. Life has been one big struggle for me. I feel like a ghost. Like I don't belong here on earth.

@elbehemoth386

6 жыл бұрын

I hope you find peace. I'm happy that you're still with us.

@MadihaA123

6 жыл бұрын

I hope God eases your struggle, I’m happy you’re still with us as well. Nothing good comes easy. Stay strong like you have been ❤️

@misstamps1

6 жыл бұрын

@@MadihaA123 Thank you. God bless you. Jesus has been with me every step of the way.

@misstamps1

6 жыл бұрын

@@elbehemoth386 thank you. The Lord Jesus is still with me and will never leave me. God bless you.

@andrakarsten226

6 жыл бұрын

@@misstamps1 A form of endometriosis? Adenomyosis?

Thank you for being strong enough to share. I hope lots of support and love comes your way ♥️🙏🏾🙌🏾

I have Asperger's and my friend has BPD. Sometimes it seems like we have opposite problems when it comes to communicating. Example: if we both get the message "I really don''t have time to deal with this right now. Please stop calling" My friend with BPD will think it is mean/rude and be hurt and angry and feel rejected and criticized. I will obliviously take it at face value and it wont occur to me that it could indicate that someone is annoyed with me. My neurotypical friends say they would look a lot at context: what was the person's tone of voice? Apologetic or preoccupied or exasperated or half-asleep and did they emphasize certain words? Is it mid day when they are at work or late at night when they are sleeping and so might sound more abrupt than usual? Is it final exams time or are they about to get married or have surgery or on a hot date or something else that would explain the "no time" part? Is this in response to a dozen phone calls and text messages in a row? Did they do something to make this person angry? Is this person totally stressing out about something and in need of help?

Thanks so much for making this video ❤️ I’ve recently been diagnosed with BPD and have been struggling with it. The name and symptoms and people’s perceptions have been making me feel like a crazy person and like everyone looks down on me because of it. Watching this and being able to relate to your experiences so much, and being able to see how normal and lovely you are has really helped me, so thanks. Xx

@SammyGrimm

6 жыл бұрын

thanks natalie i totally understand how shitty it is to have ppl talk down to you about a disorder that you cant even help that you have! its not really fair that people do that... just remember to keep your head up and as long as youre trying to better yourself and make progress thats all that matters!!

I feel ya. Going from loving to hating to loving someone in a giant loop through out the day is so exhausting! Thanks for the video!

My mom had borderline personality disorder and what you’re explaining makes sense. It is true. The only thing is that she had it really really bad where she had a major addiction with alcohol rest in peace. She’s finally resting from all the chaos. I really think that your BPD is probably not as bad as my mother’s but thanks for sharing

Thank you so much for helping me to understand my daughter who has been recently diagnosed after years of turmoil. Listening to you gives me so much hope for her. Thank you so much for sharing 💝

splitting is so hard to deal with, I feel you girl

@koolhwhip2957

5 жыл бұрын

Imara Shubert dadd

This is me. I'm actually going into a hospital program this upcoming week for over a month to get maximum support and help on how to cope with my BPD. We've got this girl! 💪🏽💕

Hey Sammy, Just wanted to say that I recently started following you and Brian.. loved this vlog. As someone who also deals with some of these issues, it's really encouraging to see others that have the same problems and how they deal with them. Much love!

I know this is an older video but I recently discovered your channel and have NEVER FELT SO SEEN and understood! So I just wanted to say thank you sooooo much.

OMG!!! I RELATE to you SO MUCH!!! I'm just coming to terms with this for me. I knew something was always wrong with me and I disassociate ALL THE TIME!! I do it so much, I dont realize I'm doing it. I could go on and on. Thank you for sharing!! 🙋🏻💖

You have so much courage. Thank you for speaking out on this.

wow I am so glad i found this video and your channel! thank you for talking about all this stuff x

When you mentioned “blanky,” I got chills because I also have a blanket that I call “blanky,” which I’ve also had since I was a baby and I absolutely can not sleep without it, even though I’m 26. If I sleep over at a friend or guys house, I bring it with me and they’re always weirded out by it. It makes me upset when I have to wash it or if I’m coming back from a friend’s and it smells different than my bedroom. I have to spray it every night too with this bath & body works lavender vanilla pillow mist. Thankfully I don’t have Instagram or Twitter because it would be really destructive to my self esteem. I’ll idolize certain celebrity figures and family members, but not really friends. The only person in my life other than medical professionals who know I have BPD is my mom; I am way too afraid to tell anyone else because I’m afraid they’ll leave. I can sleep for 18-20 hours a day but also have MDD and think I sleep through days because I don’t actually want to be awake.

@a_playzgamez6769

4 жыл бұрын

meg m blankie gang 🙌🏻

Holy crap, number 10... didn't even dawn on me that it's BPD related and you just made me see/notice something else I've always done LMAO. Put two and two together!

After watching this I feel I've been misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression and bulimia. I think they may just be elements of bpd.

@54junnie54

4 жыл бұрын

I can relate to this so much, but without the bulimia part

@alexandraa5424

3 жыл бұрын

BPD typically has a couple comorbid disorders. It’s around 70% have 2 or 3 other mental illnesses. I have ADHD, anorexia, depression, GAD, and OCD 🙃 sounds like cluster fuck but it all developed in childhood to prefect myself so I have to appreciate it in a way

I know this was 4 years ago, for me splitting is when I’m feeling one way and drastically switch to a new feeling that’s drastic and leads to an episode, the idolization I have too, but it’s separate for me at least.

Please make more videos like this!!! This has helped me so much and there isn’t a lot of videos out there on borderline as someone who is recently diagnosed these are really helpful and important !!❤️❤️

You probably need that extra sleep to repair. Your brain is extra busy. I still have my baby blanket too. You’re doing great. Thanks for sharing.

I have split on people so much and they walk out of my life and never come back leaves me in a rage I try to calm myself down but I just can't help it

Im in the middle of going through the steps for diagnosis and i really appreciate seeing these videos of yours, this is so helpful. Thank you.

you literally just described my entire life. i have bpd and ocd and it's seriously the hardest thing ever and i do ALL of the things in this video. thank you for being so open and making so many of us feel less alone!!

The book brain over binge really really helped me with my eating issues. I was alone a lot as a kid and girl, a whole box of oreos was a big comfort. And then going into adulthood, binge drinking, etc. But yea it helped me to dissacociate with those urges. Great video!

@SammyGrimm

6 жыл бұрын

thanks kellie! Im going to look into this!

@annaf3915

6 жыл бұрын

Sometimes it helped me to run myself a really hot bath - so hot I can just about handle it - to stop me from binging. But only sometimes *shrugs*

@christinaford3634

6 жыл бұрын

Im going to look into this book. I was left alone A LOT as a kid. As early as 6 or 7. I went from a food addict, to alcohol, coke, pills, food.... Trading one comfort for another

@sophieedwards5915

5 жыл бұрын

Can second this. This book is fantastic!

i related so hard to some of these that i started to cry, can i chill

@cucumberleyopa7804

5 жыл бұрын

Lmao same

I relate to you sooooo much. Like literally EVERYTHING you've said I deal with too. There isn't one thing that you've said that I don't deal with. It's nice to be able to relate to someone when it feels like there isn't anyone else that's dealing with the same thing. Especially when the symptoms are so similar. So thanks for making this, it's super appriciated. 😊💕

you are a very beautiful person💜good for you being so transparent with this. i hope things get better hun