Free download: Suspect someone you know might be a narcissist? This free guide breaks down the phases of abuse to see if you recognize them from your experience: www.commonego.com/checklist

Even if they go to therapy, be careful, BE VERY CAREFUL.....

I guess you just have to put on your best poker face and walk away. You're never going to get satisfaction with someone who acts like they have an answer for everything you throw at them

@CommonEgo

Ай бұрын

true 🙏❤

Narcs don’t stop. Been 2 years since I left, she sent a friend request today, I jus removed her

If you’re watching this and are questioning whether you were with a narcissist the answer is yes. If you get a Hoover, and you will, DO NOT LET THEM BACK! These sickos will say anything they can to get your supply back. It will happen. Move on and never let them back.

@CommonEgo

Ай бұрын

Exactly. When you think something is off, you're usually right 🙏❤

@rainbowgirljules

Ай бұрын

Thank you for this. I'm really struggling to move on at the moment, and I know that he WILL hoover at some point again soon. It's been five years so if not now, when? Thank you for your amazing and spiritual videos, Christina.

I remember while I was being discarded for the 3rd and final time the covert narc said "I can't keep apologizing for how you feel"

@beachybird1251

Ай бұрын

Disturbing.😵‍💫😵‍💫

@Low__Key

Ай бұрын

That’s exactly how they think.

@laurasmith4783

Ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Because you are the “mean” person who has self respect and self love.

@Wuestenwiesel

18 күн бұрын

“Im sorry that YOU THINK/FEEL this way” Rings any bell? “I’m tired of apologizing”

I told him to F off! Hovering me with little mind games. Sometimes when you stay silent, it gives them permission to continue! Bye narcissist! I’m onto you! And don’t think you wo t get gaslight again! Cuz you will! Freeeeeeee!

@rob_see

Ай бұрын

just ended the relationship yesterday. two and a half weeks ago, i tried ending it and she sucked me back in. then, after two good days and good sex, back to the old games, silent treatments, etcetera. fuck that. im done hurting. im hiding my car so she thinks im not at home. i wont answer if she comes over or calls or texts. my willpower is weak and i know i will probably give in to her, but i am trying to be strong

@ShellyElle

Ай бұрын

@@rob_see, hang in there! It’s worth it! Keep watching hi mg videos and understand how they work completely and that makes it so much easier.

Wrong answer!! When they reach out to hoover, block them. They should already have been blocked. ....any.... response to their hoover is allowing them to put their foot in the door as you're trying to close it- don't give them that power to put the foot in the door. Don't debate with them, don't ask how things will be different, don't engage, don't respond. Block, block, block.

@lc4972

Ай бұрын

True. I could've spared myself so much more misery if I had done that. But I went back multiple times, hoping he really would change. Not. But everyone will go through their own process. I'm married to an awesome guy now, that doesn't have any of those kinds of traits. Good guys are out there, just have to be super picky about traits. The little tiny things they show you is like picking up the corner of a rug and there is a whole lot more where that came from. Listen to your gut. If you don't like what's under the corner, RUN!!!!

@gangGreenthumb

Ай бұрын

@@lc4972 It's not your fault, these people are manipulative, con artists. Don't wait or hope they'll change... they won't.

@ellebee9864

Ай бұрын

Agreed. Not a single word to say to them at all.

@CommonEgo

Ай бұрын

I agree that blocking and moving on is best. Not everyone is there though. I work with people in different phases of their recovery and some just aren’t ready for that. So we can tell them all day to block, but they simply won’t do it. This video is for those people 🙏❤️

@dinab7852

Ай бұрын

👏👏👏

I SOOOO wish I had discovered you before I was entrenched...mine would promise to change... he even CRIED... multiple times over the years, would agree to get back together. For a few weeks, he'd behave... but each time, the time frame of agreed behavior would get shorter and shorter, until the last few times bad behavior returned within 24 hrs. I wasn't giving him a second chance...at that point it was the 9th or 10th chance. Best day of my life was when I announced I was moving across the country.

My stress level for the past 3 years and especially the past 1.5 years due to many things but 70% due to the abuse, hoovering, gaslighting, manipulation and final discard by my narcissistic ex has been through the roof and your voice + videos is one of the TOP 5 things in my life that are keeping me going... Thank you 100X 🙏🏻

@CommonEgo

Ай бұрын

🙏❤

@nilaja-itsmylife

Ай бұрын

Keep going 💪🏽 ✨🙏🏾❤️

@dinab7852

Ай бұрын

​@@nilaja-itsmylife Thank you ❤

@starletd.1673

Ай бұрын

Mine is my brother. I can’t take anymore of his path to destroy me.

@etherealone143

Ай бұрын

I'm trying to recover from the exact same things and feelings you described with the narc. It's so damaging 😢😠 I wish you hope & healing ❤

💜 I agree that "No" is a full sentence; however, I would spare myself (and advise anyone else) to avoid having any conversation with a narcissist trying to Hoover them. Regardless of whether it's a romantic relationship or family, you'll only end up frustrated and/or broken-hearted...again. Unless this happens "randomly" in public, you usually know when certain people will be around. Otherwise, the only other scenario to plan for is a call/text from a new number (assuming you blocked their old one). Block the new number and move on, my friend! 💜 No Contact (or Grey Rock if kids are involved in custody cases) is a good thing and for your own self-protection. You cannot heal while you're still being abused, and they will continue to abuse you if they can contact you. You are the one that puts a stop to that. There is peace away from all that chaos...

Hi Christina . It did take me a long time to get it through my thick skull and have enough courage to break off my narcissistic relationship.. I did break it off at least 4 times during a 15-year relationship.. after learning more about narcissism it gave me the ability to actually get the courage to break it of.. I was in the justify their actions mode for a long time. This relationship affected my health in a very serious way.. I did think she loved me until I kept listening to her words but her words did not match up with her actions.. anytime we got into a fight the circular arguments were commonplace and never did come to any kind of resolution.. I'm very thankful for people like you on KZread that helped me get through this break up and was able to understand what part I played and also what part narcissist played in this long-term relationship.. I'm still not out of the woods yet but I'm slowly coming out of my depression.. Thanks again for sharing your information and expertise..

The ex was a big hoover. I didn't know what it was at the time. After the break up, he would text when he bagged a new supply to rub it in. I managed no contact and blocked his number. However, we are in similar social circles. I know he's checking out where I go, so that he can announce he's getting married. This is the lady he was seeing on the side. I'm not at the congratulatory stage to say anything to him. I'm still healing from the abuse. I feel this big hoover looming over me. 😢 It's his need to feel he has power over me and prove he "won". I'm the one who is winning, I believe.

I waisted 15 yrs. of my life with my X before telling him to leave. He left.... He moved across the street for the last 6 years. Recently he moved 3 hrs. away. When he left he says to me "i still love you baby", "Wish you were coming with me", I'm sorry i admit i was an asshole when we were together but blah blah. He ended it with saying "you can call me anytime, i still love you". I don't know if he thought he was going to get me to go running after him as i did the last u time he left for of course a cpl. hrs. away. Anyone who's with a man or woman like this, do yourself a solid and get away❗. Your time, you, are more valuable‼️

@sg-vp2qg

Ай бұрын

4 months after I went total no contact after a 2 week period of insane over-the-top abuse and devaluation, he moved to my corner (got a woman to swap houses with him) so that I can neither walk nor drive anywhere without passing his place, and he can also see me come and go from his yard. Recently he has put false reports in to my landlord to try to get me evicted (I am a 66 year old woman no longer working, so qualifying for another rental is nigh on impossible now), and has told my neighbors and anyone else who will listen in the small town that I am a psychopath, I'm crazy, that I'm a lesbian and god knows what else that I haven't accidentally heard. None of these things are true, but when I wouldn't allow him another foot in the door he upped his attempts to control my environment and what people think of me, and is even trying to control my ability to stay housed! It's not nice, but I think I am finding the strength to not care what people think. I know the truth, and if I'm the only one where I live who does, then so be it. I will walk in my integrity no matter what.

Monkey branching. That is hilarious and a great descriptive name for it.

.... don't think I will have any of these problems.... they are glad they are out....

@CommonEgo

Ай бұрын

Better that way 🙏❤

That fool not hoovering me. Thankful 😊

I went no contact with the narc sister and my other five siblings. I had had enough! That was in June 2020. On April 1, 2024, I received a card in the mail from the narc sister. I wrote "Refused. Return to sender" on it and popped it in the mailbox. I didn't think twice about doing it. I don't want to go through even one day of her abusive behavior.

@CommonEgo

Ай бұрын

Way to stand your ground 🙏❤

My abusive, narc ex husband showed up at my doorstep this past weekend after I blocked his number 5 months ago. I didn’t answer. He left some crap I forfeited when I left him without warning (for my safety) and a stupid hand written card, where he asked me to unblock his number. My no contact is my “NO.”

Hard when it’s your own “mother.” The plan is to move away. And then maybe only throw out pseudo tidbits but always stay just out of reach. lol. So far anyways. Ultimately I’m gonna do whatever I have to do tho. Internally I’m done tho. I don’t see her as “mother” to me anymore at all.

@JT0007

Ай бұрын

Just no contact her. Haven’t talked to my narc mom in years 🫡🇺🇸🦅

@goodenoughgirl8102

Ай бұрын

@@JT0007 Yeah. Trying to navigate that with my adult son as well. I already did tell him tho if moving isn’t enough, I might have to. In the past things did go far better when I was living away from them (her and her toxic husband).

I have had enough of it all. I have to be the change l want to see. I am getting real smart about myself and others. Solitude, inner relating, radical acceptance. Trusting my self even when hard. Has saved me. I am marrying me.

@Wuestenwiesel

18 күн бұрын

Lol I don’t believe in marriage, even with myself. But I believe, that I’m the only person who really can give me what I need.

Your videos helped a lot, I was broken and a bit lost but understanding the manipulation i've saw helped a lot, thank you

The one blowing question: "Can I fight for you??" Permission is needed to fight for something that's "wanted"?

Thank you for your videos.

The sappy photo hoover serves 2 purposes. One purpose is to be future faking. The other purpose is hoping we are going to react by refusing to admit that it is a photograph of us so they can later use that as evidence that they are innocent of any charges which might be plagueing them one after another later. That sappy and hockey themed movie called, "Somethings Gotta Give" probable went over really well with so many older people from the communal narcissistic crowd who were not being paid to act in or to review that movie at the time.

It was always me when cheated. 10 x's

My ex husband messaged me this week after five and a half years of no contact. The woman he left me for passed away, so last year (a year ago this month as a matter of fact) he moved back to the city we lived together in. I bumped into him once, but only a quick glance was exchanged. I felt confident that day, so other than an initial tummy flip-flop I was fine. But his PM a week ago was upsetting. (He’s blocked now) My friends warned me he would try to reach out, but I couldn’t picture it… then it happened.

Ok… so 3 years ago I had to leave my wife, our relationship had been toxic for years and i noticed she was showing signs of being a narcissist or having narcissistic traits.. she would demean me and gaslight me and make me feel like crap.. I had enough and moved out.. I was sofa surfing with friends as I don’t have any family support.. I finally got myself into my own place and was getting settled. We had to stay in contact as we have 2 children but I was slowly moving on and focused on my happiness and my kids.. After a few months she started texting me, telling me how much she loved me, she missed me and started bringing up the happy memories.. I made the decision to return home.. was this hoovering? Fast forward to 2024 I am now in the boat again of trying to find myself my own place again.. I’m not an angel and can be argumentative but I know I don’t deserve being treated the way I do… but again me and my kids have to go through the whole thing again..

I always fell for the hoovering , hoping that he would change THIS TIME. 29 years with this. I am sticking with my no contact

@laurasmith4783

Ай бұрын

I married my 3rd worst overt narcissist two times… A self centered person who doesn’t know other people have feelings… NOTHING CHANGES WITH a person who doesn’t want to see a spec of fault in themselves… (not the “x” I have told a story about in these comments b/c the story is about the 2nd worst x..

@allthingsjana7870

28 күн бұрын

Fell for the hoovering too. They dump you , want you back , but don't admit they have done wrong. Just see themselves as entitled. Awful

Hah, I'll just do anything you want! Ok this time you have to let me in! and then let them know all the ways you want them to be...they'll be getting back in their car before you've finished...worked for me.. funny, I just told her the things I did for her...and they just want more of the same.. haven't seen her since...yaay...

LoL Vacumist

It will hurt. Reverse is worse as you encourage it.

Why is my narcissistic ex gf posting pics of herself and her new guy on her second facebook page as I blocked her on her main page?……I don’t get it, showing me her new man isn’t going to get me to return to her

@CommonEgo

Ай бұрын

But it may provoke a reaction 🙏❤

@extractedentertainment8213

Ай бұрын

Because she knows you follow her 2nd page 😅 (why?)

@arenee118

Ай бұрын

It's to hurt you. That's all. Just block, block, block.

@Liedowngaming

Ай бұрын

Garner a reaction. Hurt you. Fake show of happiness. Do yourself a favour and don't look at anything. See it for what it really is. She is showing you what she is, do you really want any part of it if they are like this?

@user-pk1gp7iy2o

Ай бұрын

She does it because she knows that you are following her second page, which means that she still has a powerful hold over you......and she knows it. Stop following her, and go no contact. It is the ONLY way to deal with these demons.

What about if I have just been a new supply and their real goal is his ex? Will there be any hoovering?? Because there was no hoover to me. I was a nothing for him

I'm confused. Where does the gift of giving end and the hoovering begin?

My daughter has 2 girls aged 5 and 10. She has been in a relationship with another woman who i think is a covert narcissist for 18 months. The narcissist is subtlety mean to the older girl but never in front of my daughter. She also stares at her like a demon, very unnerving if you are 10. She love bombs the younger child which makes her older sister think she is in the wrong. The older girl is standing her ground at the moment but I am afraid she will eventually be beaten down by the regular devaluation.I have mentioned it to my daughter and given her examples of comments/actions etc i have witnessed but was told i have never accepted her new partner and she seemed to think i was exaggerating or picking on her. My daughter is a changed person but i am so worried about my little granddaughters and how it will affect them in the future. Can you do a video on the covert narcissist as a step parent. It would be very helpful. The narcissist is also in the process of trying to eliminate me and my other children out of my daughters life.

@rainbowgirljules

Ай бұрын

So sorry to hear about your plight. Have you watched any of Dr Ramani's videos about narcissists here on KZread? She's one of the few qualified experts on narcissism, as well as the wonderful coaches such as Christina on this site. Narcissistic people are human 'bad apples' and will infect even the healthiest of us unless we know what they are all about. Sending you my very best.

Hey Christina!! I miss ya! I hope you’re doing well!! ♥️🙏

@CommonEgo

Ай бұрын

Hey Pete!! Nice to see you 😊 Hope all is well with you! 🙏❤️

He turned up on my doorstep (always unnanounced)

I have question am i emotionally cheating on morgan with my ex boyfriend Stephen behind morgan by meeting up and texting and calling Stephen on phone and laughing with steohen and holding hands with stephen and watching high school musical dvds that me and Stephen love without never never having no sex

@lc4972

Ай бұрын

Yes

@susankoch1319

Ай бұрын

Absolutely yes!

@helenmcclay2622

Ай бұрын

Its emotional cheating

@richyrich4672

Ай бұрын

Sounds to me you like Stephen more than Morgan. Because you never got over Stephen.

@Jess-wk5jo

Ай бұрын

​@@richyrich4672Stephen love of my life

Yeah, get LOST !!!!!!!!

Whoa u literally described everything I feel from the first second. I’ve literally asked her stop lying tell me the truth. It was maddening. Exactly. We broke up. Cops got involved. I didn’t want to see her anymore. She contacted me. Even said if we had a kid together and I wouldn’t talk or deal with her. She’d make me or I couldn’t see our kid. She said she’d come here and wouldn’t care if I was with anyone. And make me get back with her. I told her not to come back like before and ruin my relationships. Update I found out who she was cheating with and if she was. And it’s 100% sure. So why did she do all this crazy crap like she jealous.

my lord i would take myself to Enterprise library here every day just to listen to her vids but i dont have the car yet passionate educational vids Enterprise Library 8310 S. Las Vegas Blvd Las Vegas, NV,89123