#1 Narcissism Expert: The Harsh Reality Of Toxic People & Setting Boundaries | Dr. Ramani Durvasula

Today we are joined by clinical psychologist and narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula. Dr. Ramani unpacks narcissistic personality disorder, defining types of narcissism, how it’s diagnosed, and where this originates. She shares the implications of the extreme side of this disorder, discussing the dark reality of narcissistic abuse in relationships, love-bombing, triangulation, and gas-lighting. She provides advice for anyone stuck in a cycle of abuse or supporting a friend through this process. She reveals the sad truth of abuse: that most people never change.
This is a great episode for anyone wanting to better understand this disorder and get out of a cycle of abuse.
André's Book Recommendations: www.knowthyself.one/books
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Timecodes:
0:00 Intro
1:54 Defining & Identifying Narcissism
6:59 Why This Develops in People
10:20 Different Types of Narcissism
13:59 How Our Society Rewards Narcissism
15:36 How Certain Types Develop
19:16 At What Age Narcissism Begins
21:40 The Internal Reality of a Narcissist
25:45 Common Traits of Narcissistic Abuse
31:38 Why Love Bombing is Toxic
37:09 The True Meaning of Gaslighting
41:18 Triangulation & Cycles of Manipulation
42:40 When Self Esteem Becomes Too Much
47:14 Cultural Distinctions & Healing Family Trauma
52:18 Breaking Free of a Narcissistic Relationship
1:01:11 Will They Ever Change?
1:04:29 Is It You?
1:10:57 Supporting a Friend in an Abusive Relationship
1:14:45 Becoming Aware of Your Own Narcissism
1:19:28 The Sad Reality of Being a Narcissist
1:22:00 Spiritual Narcissism
1:28:07 Final Thoughts
1:35:34 Conclusion
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Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is an author of several books including Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, and “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. The focus of Dr. Durvasula’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations. Her work has been featured at SXSW, TEDx, Red Table Talk, the Today Show, and Investigation Discovery. You can also find her on KZread where she has accumulated millions of views on her videos discussing narcissism on her successful channel, and on social media @DoctorRamani. Now she will be adding the role of host to her resume as she launches her new podcast, Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani, a show that focuses on narcissism and its impact on relationships.
Website: doctor-ramani.com
Pre-Order “It’s Not You”: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo...
Instagram: / doctorramani
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Looking to Start a Podcast? Podcasting Course: www.podcastpurpose.com/
Know Thyself
Instagram: / knowthyself
Website: www.knowthyself.one
Clips Channel: / @knowthyselfpodcast
Listen to all episodes on Audio:
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemt...
Apple: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
André Duqum
Instagram: / andreduqum
Meraki Media
merakimedia.com
/ merakimedia

Пікірлер: 355

  • @StacyA406
    @StacyA4063 ай бұрын

    This woman is a gift to the world.

  • @mirandarose7761

    @mirandarose7761

    2 ай бұрын

    My thoughts exactly! She’s fighting the good fight

  • @krishnair4642

    @krishnair4642

    2 ай бұрын

    Yes thats why we indians are great ❤..Jai sree ram

  • @lillie3289

    @lillie3289

    Ай бұрын

    Like seriously, protect her at all costs

  • @shannonferguson4810
    @shannonferguson48103 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani is one of the most intelligent and compassionate psychologists working in the field today. 💙

  • @stefaniaschannel

    @stefaniaschannel

    3 ай бұрын

    Yes- Preach it! 🙌🏼

  • @XxxX-wx3er

    @XxxX-wx3er

    3 ай бұрын

    I don’t trust her.. but I still listen to her bc I want to learn.

  • @mirandarose7761

    @mirandarose7761

    2 ай бұрын

    Man she really is something, huh? I just made a comment saying the best thing you said too. You mix higher education with passion and you’ve got one heck of a doctor. I trust women more than I trust my family doctor 😂

  • @smitha1867

    @smitha1867

    2 ай бұрын

    @@XxxX-wx3eryou don’t trust her? Why do you need to trust her?

  • @barbarahall5514
    @barbarahall55143 ай бұрын

    “Another human being is not meant to be a…pacifier or……a punching bag…” -Dr. Ramani Durvasala……..snap! 😮!

  • @islandgirlxx3465

    @islandgirlxx3465

    3 ай бұрын

    Amen to that! We were created God and God is Love. We are here on this earth to love and be loved. To be loved is our birthright. If someone is abusive not loving us properly then we must leave them and never look back.

  • @thatguymcflizzy
    @thatguymcflizzy2 ай бұрын

    The way she articulates herself sounds like someone who has a complete mastery of psychology.

  • @thecelt4807

    @thecelt4807

    17 күн бұрын

    no one has mastery of anything as yet

  • @thomashusted
    @thomashusted3 ай бұрын

    Today I just ended a friendship with a person who definitely has a narcissistic personality disorder and who constantly violated my boundaries even when I made those boundaries very clear to him. I gave him numerous chances to not to continue to do this but it continued until it got unbearable. If something like that ever happens again it will be three strikes and you are out of my life. My advice is don’t put up with this type of dysfunctional behavior as it will just get worse, it’s either shape up or ship out!

  • @user-lt3yb4fm6q

    @user-lt3yb4fm6q

    3 ай бұрын

    Something similar happened to me recently. Thanks for writing such a clear comment

  • @errollharper2061

    @errollharper2061

    3 ай бұрын

    Correct 😊. It's tempting to give chances, again and again! 3 strikes is an excellent compromise!

  • @yukio_saito

    @yukio_saito

    3 ай бұрын

    Glad you ended the friendship ✂

  • @victoriavitoroulis3273

    @victoriavitoroulis3273

    3 ай бұрын

    Just ended a friendship w a neighbor / friend of 30 yrs .. after she retired she would stalk me … and lived 50 ft from me ..

  • @susancampbell5948

    @susancampbell5948

    3 ай бұрын

    They can’t shape up just move on

  • @LucyTheBlackCat
    @LucyTheBlackCat3 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani is the best there is! We are so lucky to have her work and wisdom shared with the world!

  • @movemountains_

    @movemountains_

    3 ай бұрын

    AMEN!

  • @Spiral.Dynamics
    @Spiral.Dynamics3 ай бұрын

    Give up the hope of reconciliation with them. You do not miss them, but rather the idea of them. Liberate yourself by letting hope die.

  • @freeduh5497

    @freeduh5497

    2 ай бұрын

    Yeah I get it I've struggled struggle for over 40 years cause it's my mom though Does an excuse but It's just really hard But not as hard as what I go through by myself I left it 15I've done this I've done that blah blah blah I don't know what I did was the problem I've learned a lot though and I still care about I've learned a lot though and I still care about people I really do I really Jim very humble I've learned a lot though and I still care about people I really do I really Jim very I've learned a lot though and I still care about people I really do I really do very humble I think that it's you know people to stand up Each other loves ourselves it's OK to make mistakes

  • @dianedeclare8541
    @dianedeclare85413 ай бұрын

    I am cautious with people who r too nice - especially when it feels like an act.

  • @user-wl8ps1np4i

    @user-wl8ps1np4i

    7 сағат бұрын

    I agree. I used to know somebody who would always start her messages to me with over the top adjectives as if to flatter me. She was buttering me up ready to call in a favour. Too sickly sweet ‘nice’ and I’m glad she’s no longer in my life.

  • @lillygmail5962
    @lillygmail59623 ай бұрын

    It amazes me how these type people are able to keep finding and damaging so many folks.

  • @annjohnson8437

    @annjohnson8437

    3 ай бұрын

    It does not surprise me at all. Narcs appear to be really charming and charismatic when you meet them. They keep the act up until they have you sucked in.

  • @elipotter369

    @elipotter369

    3 ай бұрын

    Doesn't surprise me. They're always out trying to latch on to anyone, so as soon as you get away, there's a new friend lined up - who thinks they're charming and lovely.

  • @user-io7kz4kv3z

    @user-io7kz4kv3z

    Ай бұрын

    Me too

  • @Melia_Mer
    @Melia_Mer3 ай бұрын

    I have deep gratitude for Dr. Ramani. I don't know so many people as good and widely impactful in what they do as she is. She definitely made a positive impression on me and transformed my experience of relationships for the better. Thank you for featuring her. ❤🙏

  • @Hopscotch_24

    @Hopscotch_24

    3 ай бұрын

    Same, Merry Mer! You said it well. 👍

  • @devorahrose782

    @devorahrose782

    3 ай бұрын

    Me too. She really saved my sanity

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito3 ай бұрын

    I'm glad to learn about variations of narcissists like covert, vulnerable, communal and malignant. I think covert or vulnerable narcissists are more dangerous than overt ones because they act stealthy. 😮 They are exactly a wolf in sheep's clothing. They look charming in front of people, but they abuse you behind the closed doors. 🚪

  • @errollharper2061

    @errollharper2061

    3 ай бұрын

    That is true. 😕.

  • @CelineNadeau

    @CelineNadeau

    3 ай бұрын

    +1 it always takes longer to identify the coverts… and speaking for myself, I can say with confidence that they definitely have caused much, much greater damage and trauma in my personal and professional life than the overts-because 1. I stupidly gave them the benefit of the doubt for so long before I knew to #run 2. Most people do not see their narcissistic side, bc they hide it so well… playing the victim with their flying monkeys and anyone who asks, while running super stealth, creepy, damaging, long-term smear campaigns in your back 🏃 ewww

  • @kaoshi_kutie

    @kaoshi_kutie

    3 ай бұрын

    Agreed!! They are very dangerous as they hide themselves well

  • @jamiethomas627

    @jamiethomas627

    3 ай бұрын

    My exact dialogue yes 🙌 you took the words right out of my mouth yes they are very stealth

  • @olgasampis9745

    @olgasampis9745

    3 ай бұрын

    Divorce from one….

  • @juliebutler7915
    @juliebutler79153 ай бұрын

    When your awake, you don't allow more. Tolerating and thinking you are a good/kind person for allowing room for more, then you are part of the problem. You definitely don't help by accepting it, you are condoning it. Strike one, your out, not strike three. You get what you settle for.......

  • @Amor-Fati.
    @Amor-Fati.3 ай бұрын

    I heard once, the one difference between narcissism and every other disorder, it's the only one where the victim ends up in therapy. I'm in 4th one in a row, and up until now, never knew what it was. I'm just so exhausted and will never trust again. Thanks for all the insight to help with my healing,if ever.

  • @rongike

    @rongike

    3 ай бұрын

    never say never, life is a journey and we don't know the destination.

  • @dianedeclare8541

    @dianedeclare8541

    3 ай бұрын

    So true that we lose Trust. HOWEVER, NOW I CAN SPOT NDPs at their first MOnologue . toxic people r stuck as teens or toddlers _ phonies & actors/tresses.

  • @carolinekamya2339

    @carolinekamya2339

    3 ай бұрын

    racism as well

  • @777Pattie

    @777Pattie

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@dianedeclare8541exactly 💯, actors especially🤨

  • @soniahathaway1

    @soniahathaway1

    3 ай бұрын

    Please leave room for genuine, kind people who may cross your path. Keep positive and be kind to yourself. 👌

  • @krinuca4497
    @krinuca44972 ай бұрын

    "Mental health IS flexibility...The awareness of others, the capacity of engaging, empathy, intimacy, self-awareness : that's the core of health. And that's absent from a person with narcissism"

  • @elainesmith5313
    @elainesmith53133 ай бұрын

    Dr. R. And Dr. L. Carter have saved my life. I am post 2 yrs out of a Narcissist Relationship and his family cult system. Have a good understanding of Narcissism now. I have first forgiven myself and then the narcissist and family. I am so grateful for my freedom and good health and having absolutely no contact with them all. Starting I very has been hard but doable. Thank you Dr. R. FOR YOUR WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE.

  • @the1law500
    @the1law5003 ай бұрын

    Omg this is awesome!! I found Dr. Ramani when I was trying to come to terms with my own malignant situation 5 years ago 🙏🏽🥹 the clarity she provided SAVED ME AND MY SONS LIFE!!! ON GOD!!!!! Every time I wanted to make excuses and see the "better elements" I swear she would upload a message straight to my heart. She helped make things so clear, make so much sense. 😆 I'm friggin tickled to see her here!! 😍😍😍

  • @purvamandlik4696

    @purvamandlik4696

    3 ай бұрын

    I could have been the one writing this exact comment ❤😊

  • @celienrivera1585
    @celienrivera15853 ай бұрын

    I’ve listened to Dr Ramani on you tube for awhile she has helped me how to handle my boundaries with narcissists in my life…grey rocking works “ …thank you for this interview

  • @northofyou33
    @northofyou333 ай бұрын

    Yeah, most NPDs will never, ever walk into a mental health professional's office. Never. I was raised by a malignant narcissist and married a grandiose narcissist. Both were very, very harmful people to me. I am glad both of them are out of my life. It's taking me years and thousands of dollars to even start recovering from those relationships. Neither one would ever condescend to go to therapy.

  • @susancampbell5948

    @susancampbell5948

    3 ай бұрын

    If only you knew of all things how he could not change! Knowledge is powerful I feel for you have done the same !

  • @duece5c
    @duece5c3 ай бұрын

    I LOVE this woman. She is a true Hero. A true Champion in educating people on these toxic entities. Thankyou!!!🙏🙏🙏💙

  • @carolinekamya2339

    @carolinekamya2339

    3 ай бұрын

    saved millions of lives

  • @jasonwestlund1029
    @jasonwestlund10293 ай бұрын

    I just want to thank you Andre for taking the time to express so much compassion for the kids who got cut off from there creative self’s. I’m 27 and just now learning how beautiful it is to be creative and to express yourself as your own unique person.

  • @revelwithjaz

    @revelwithjaz

    3 ай бұрын

    I began learning about my creative self at 27 too!! Good luck on your journey ✨

  • @freeduh5497

    @freeduh5497

    2 ай бұрын

    I agree just always to I agree just always too scared cause it didn't come out all beautiful like in my head and the thoughts but yeah I totally agree I agree just always too scared cause it didn't come out all beautiful like in my head and the thoughts but yeah I totally agree

  • @mirandarose7761
    @mirandarose77612 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani, I’ve been an RN for 14 years and worked alongside plenty of doctors. You’re a really special doctor. Somehow, you’ve mastered the art of communicating and not sounding arrogant in any way. Your passion for this topic SHINES and it draws in quite a lovely target audience. I’ve watched you for years, take care!

  • @Priya_the_princess
    @Priya_the_princess3 ай бұрын

    If they’re narcissistic after listening to her you’ll just know yes they’re !!! There’s no doubt !! I always knew these set of traits but never knew it had a name ! Thank you dr ramini for being life savior to sooo many of us ❤

  • @cokitovibes
    @cokitovibes3 ай бұрын

    This information is so important for those of us who have been in intimate relationships with Narcissist as you could feel at times like you are loosing it, it’s such a difficult cycle to break, I feel for those who are going through it, sending them love and strength to break from such a debilitating situation. Proud of us who managed to get out and are doing the work to come back to self and remember who we are 🙏🏽💕✨

  • @777Pattie

    @777Pattie

    3 ай бұрын

    Such a sweet comment, thank you for posting it ✌🏼🕊️♾️💕

  • @freeduh5497

    @freeduh5497

    2 ай бұрын

    This is my day 1 I'm gonna run for my life from my mother From Oregon hopefully get to Long Beach I just Need to save my life

  • @vi07
    @vi073 ай бұрын

    This is one of the best Dr Ramani interviews I have seen. Hoping the algorithm picks it up so you get the views you deserve 🙌

  • @deanvo503
    @deanvo5033 ай бұрын

    Dr Ramani saved me, for real.

  • @soulcenterhealinghypnosis
    @soulcenterhealinghypnosis3 ай бұрын

    My father and ex are narcissistic... when you meet a really one you will know beyond a shadow of doubt. Healing from these relationships is long and hard x

  • @user-nv2kl9sg5g
    @user-nv2kl9sg5g3 ай бұрын

    I married a narcissist being a empath. STILL LEARNING TO DEAL WITH THIS.

  • @rongike

    @rongike

    3 ай бұрын

    still married? I have a very out there theory about how to "help narcissists", based on my little research their biggest problem is shame, they do everything to avoid feeling shame, but if you could express your own shame and make shame an okay emotion to have as a human, maybe that can influence them to change their view on shame and learn to process it, instead of suppressing it and taking it out on others. ofc few people are comfortable with shame, so this would probably be a hard thing to take on and require immense inner work and patience, but just bc society tells us not to feel shame, I don't see why that means it can't be a valid part of the human experience. sorry if this made no sense, I guess I'm just practicing how to summarize it and explain it and I have no idea if this was sufficient.

  • @deborahfields1338

    @deborahfields1338

    3 ай бұрын

    I think that a person who has empathy can express their own shame or take resposibility with different degrees. The problem is that a narcissist does not care. I can't see my ex having been in touch with his shame he would rather be seen as the victim. I wish it was something fixable.@@rongike

  • @kimmathe6701

    @kimmathe6701

    3 ай бұрын

    From my own experiences with surviving Narcissistic Abuse ( Domestic Violence) I have learned, that trauma bonding ( part of the cycle of abuse) 😔 is what caused me to stay in toxic and abusive relationships. I don't believe, it's helpful, but very important to not share it with a narcissistic person, (incidents of there or your own feelings of shame.) ” Being open and honest and sharing is intimate and healthy to do in healthy relationships. But , if you overshare feelings with a narcissist, they eventually will use it against you. Through their gas lighting and projection , triangulation, and smear campaigns. Nothing you can do or say will change them. Nothing!! Opening yourself up and trusting them with your feelings will only create more pain for the person helping. I would highly suggest a few close friends to share feelings with. Coming out of denial and realizing the decades of my unmet needs and trying harder and harder to receive and give unconditional love is like going to a well , drawing up water and there is no water cause .... There's a hole in the bucket. Trying to get fresh water is insanity!! 😢 You can try over and over ... But the result will be the same! They have no love to give. Never had it in them. Hope this is of help to someone. Words of wisdom. I'm Grateful , for this beautiful interview. Thank you.

  • @chiffre-nummer8475
    @chiffre-nummer84753 күн бұрын

    I'm grateful for the people i had around me in my early childhood. Most of them "teached" me to be the way I am, they teached me that I am loved and respected with all my aspects, they gave my time and space to think and adjust to certain things. This way I learned to love myself, to take care of my inner child.

  • @Tenacious249
    @Tenacious2493 ай бұрын

    Ramani Durvasala has provided me with such great help in a confusing time. Eye opening and connected a lot of dots for me. Thank you Dr

  • @joshc8574
    @joshc85743 ай бұрын

    I've been a narcissist within my current relationship and it's perfect timing to have seen this episode. I've been confronted with a way of being in the world which doesn't serve me or the people I love and care about. I encourage people who can relate to make changes as I disagree with the notion that change for a narcissist is only something afforded to rare cases.

  • @robinantonio8870

    @robinantonio8870

    3 ай бұрын

    You are not a narc if you can recognise and change bad behaviour in yourself

  • @Venus_Beaver

    @Venus_Beaver

    3 ай бұрын

    @@robinantonio8870absolutely disagree. It’s not a set in stone death sentence to be narcissistic. It’s a spectrum. They talked about that right in the beginning. Someone can absolutely recognize their narcissism and address it. It might be trickier to spot in oneself than most things, but it’s not impossible by any means

  • @robinantonio8870

    @robinantonio8870

    3 ай бұрын

    @@Venus_Beaver well science doesn't agree with you

  • @Mika-El-

    @Mika-El-

    3 ай бұрын

    ​@@Venus_BeaverAbsolutely true. With God anyone can heal. Narcissism is trauma and that can heal.

  • @mysticmisfit777

    @mysticmisfit777

    3 ай бұрын

    I recently recognized my narcissism and slowly have been making changes. I'm trying to be mindful and more aware. I don't want to hurt people anymore.

  • @ninasofie2250
    @ninasofie22503 ай бұрын

    Once again, thank you Dr. Ramani. I´ve "followed" you for years (in a non-creepy way) You have helped med more than you can imagine.

  • @vesnaeastelysium
    @vesnaeastelysium3 ай бұрын

    Brilliant woman..she nails this topic that is so severe and harmful to anyone who holds his psyche into normality.....so special..dharmic lady! Such an amount of eloquence and wisdom.

  • @andoniserranoalberdi
    @andoniserranoalberdi3 ай бұрын

    EMPATHY is the ability to feel, read and receive the Energy, Information or Frequencies in the environment. NARCISSISM is the ability to block or filter them. BOTH abilities are TOTALLY NECESSARY to survive, let alone THRIVE in this Universe.

  • @aprilmoon111
    @aprilmoon1113 ай бұрын

    THANK YOU FOR BRINGING AWARENESS TO THIS TOPIC!! IT IS SOOO NEEDED RIGHT NOW!!!♡♡♡

  • @jasmineflores9760
    @jasmineflores97603 ай бұрын

    I’m listening and really hoping the non typical narcissists will be discussed. The wounded and or introverted covert narcissists that can really confuse people and how this hidden aspect can be so dangerous towards even more self blame or losing self without realizing what’s happening as clearly.

  • @viviankang

    @viviankang

    3 ай бұрын

    Can't agree more.

  • @Atomicbubble1
    @Atomicbubble1Ай бұрын

    This woman is a godsend for anyone waking up to the reality of how they’ve been treated.

  • @user-wy7or3kx8m
    @user-wy7or3kx8m3 ай бұрын

    Thank you, Dr. Ramani for your outstanding work and Andre for hosting and sharing this conversation, it means a world for me!

  • @denisdemarais8622
    @denisdemarais86223 ай бұрын

    Great video. Having discovered Dr Ramini 5 years ago via KZread as I navigated child custody battle to a narcissistic ex-wife... her impact has been a rescue buoy. Her wealth of knowledge on the subject is enlightening. Thank you for uncovering her and bringing a latest chat / interview with her 🙏

  • @carriemarino5806
    @carriemarino58063 ай бұрын

    It’s refreshing to hear someone speak of narcissism for what it truly is. With the label’s overuse these days, it can feel invalidating for people who have endured the true presentation of this personality disorder. I’m eagerly awaiting her book launch on kindle.

  • @jamierathod
    @jamierathod3 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani is absolutely amazing & her content has helped me to understand what happened to me as a child & to rewrite my story. Thank you Andre for providing us with the greatest content on KZread. You always deliver 🙏♥️ It’s such a pleasure to watch you!

  • @Puro_Sol_
    @Puro_Sol_3 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani is so eloquent. I love to listen to her articulate her thoughts about these things.

  • @jondoe6068
    @jondoe60683 ай бұрын

    Several years ago I had an epiphany, that everyone thinks the same way, that is your brain operates with electrical impulses and chemicals, just like mine, just like everyone. Everyone does what they do for a reason, our brains are more like calculators than we may care to admit, and that really the only chance we have at free will, is to understand why we make the decisions that we make.

  • @hannahhughes4801
    @hannahhughes48013 ай бұрын

    Thank god my children may not become like their narc father, the impact of his emotional abuse is soul destroying, unforgiving, thank you both for helping us all ❤

  • @linmus2370
    @linmus23703 ай бұрын

    I love Dr. Ramani. Her work has helped me sooooooo much!!!!

  • @shellyjohnson7964
    @shellyjohnson79643 ай бұрын

    I listened to the first hour of this before a therapy session and I bawled during therapy during a tender moment. I wish being around this didn’t feel so scary inside of me.

  • @beatapogorzelska1241
    @beatapogorzelska12413 ай бұрын

    Many hours of Dr Ramani's videos in a nutshell. Each topic has its comprehensive development on her channel which I strongly recommend.

  • @rjs_11
    @rjs_113 ай бұрын

    I'm literally 00:35 seconds in and the "what's happening during love-bombing... can feel like it's healing a childhood wound" has already got me. OOFH, she's good. I'm thankfully out of the storm, but this conversation is still so important for those who are in the thick of it, or don't even realise that they are. Thank you for having Dr. Ramani on, André. Edit: I also think there is a spiritual component to narcissism, not dissimilar to the concept of wetiko being a virus of the mind. The book 'People of The Lie' touches upon a similar concept, as do other books I'm sure.

  • @victoriavitoroulis3273

    @victoriavitoroulis3273

    3 ай бұрын

    I want this book ppl of the lie .. ❤

  • @eviedavies-lo5dd
    @eviedavies-lo5dd26 күн бұрын

    I LOVE this woman. She is a true Hero.

  • @wambuialice957
    @wambuialice9573 ай бұрын

    Dr Ramani has helped me so much on my narc slaying journey

  • @cosmicflowstudio
    @cosmicflowstudio3 ай бұрын

    Profound Guidance! Yes!!!! 😍 this conversation is healthy and powerful! Spread the Love! 💗

  • @helenferland7732
    @helenferland77323 ай бұрын

    Andre, this was priceless, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this interview!

  • @AllThingsIzzyTTV
    @AllThingsIzzyTTV3 ай бұрын

    Yeah, they lovebombed me. Said I love you 3 dates in, deleted their apps in a hotel room and cried to me when I said I needed time to decide if I wanted to be in a relationship. Two weeks in we are together. I am sad I didn’t catch it because she only got worse and cheated the whole time

  • @curtisfiguried7760
    @curtisfiguried77603 ай бұрын

    Dr Ramini… ABSOLUTE GOLD here. Such an eye opener once again. Ty for your dedication to such a devastating characteristic, which is effecting a vast amount of us today.

  • @alandre9
    @alandre93 ай бұрын

    Love Dr Ramani thank you for this episode Andre' ❤❤❤

  • @dangelodiane
    @dangelodiane3 ай бұрын

    Citing moral injury as the result of not conforming to family expectations - yes!

  • @budayjerang2195
    @budayjerang21952 ай бұрын

    Her clarity and knowledge are astounding. She is an incredible person.🙏

  • @vikkara2043
    @vikkara20432 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani has taught me so much in depth regarding narcissism!!!! I love her knowledge. ❤

  • @gerger5670
    @gerger56703 ай бұрын

    This has been one of your best interviews yet Dr. Ramani! Kudos to you young man I thought I had gleaned all of the possible knowledge I could from this great lady, I’m shocked your questions were wonderful! Thank you ! I’m on the mend radical acceptance sucks, so now a different route!🙋🏻‍♀️

  • @hfortenberry
    @hfortenberry3 ай бұрын

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE Dr. Ramani!! Thank you for having her on the show!! ❤

  • @annjohnson8437
    @annjohnson84373 ай бұрын

    Thank you for posting this conversation with Dr. Ramani. I always learn something when she speaks! ❤

  • @callieward8362
    @callieward83623 ай бұрын

    I was raised by a narcissist... now, as an adult, I'm afraid that I have her tendencies. So, I recluse I to seclusion so as not to hurt anyone else. Am I a narcissist? How do I know? This video was helpful. My counselor says, no. But I still have fear. I think we all have tendencies. It's not an easy situation as everyone is so similar with such different stories. I think it's really important to reiterate what she's saying about being professionally diagnosed. StOP diagnosing your friends, it's harmful Thank you for sharing with us. Thank you for your videos. You are doing amazing work! ❤❤❤

  • @callieward8362

    @callieward8362

    3 ай бұрын

    @sagebay2803 Thank you for that. It's amazing that these words , though so simple if read by the outsider of this situation, are so meaningful that they bring me to tears. Thank you for your response. You are so kind.

  • @debracappiccille6485
    @debracappiccille64852 ай бұрын

    You are amazing. You are the person I wish I had in my life all my 68 years. You have described my life, and now end of life perfectly. Thank you for trying to help younger people know, “It’s not them”. At this point it gives me some comfort that I am not crazy or alone in this horrific situation I’ve been in since I was born- literally and still continues. I believe I have been sent here in part to end this generational cycle. I have not been able to but I’ve learned so much. Thank you again.

  • @thecelt4807
    @thecelt480717 күн бұрын

    this is why 97% of the time i prefer and am happy to be a lone wolf , i wasn't born that way but time and experience have led me to choose that way

  • @xi22
    @xi223 ай бұрын

    Wow! This podcast is transcendentally powerful Thank you! Radical acceptance 🙏🏽 We all do it how we can ❤ And! Safe riddance to shitty relationships 😉🤗☯️☮️💜

  • @deryacino9470
    @deryacino94702 ай бұрын

    Just such a gift to have Dr Ramani in this cruel world. Thank you so much for your intervention.

  • @NatureFreak1127
    @NatureFreak11273 ай бұрын

    Okay, so the big question is: WHERE and HOW to find nice people? Where are they most likely to be?

  • @777Pattie

    @777Pattie

    3 ай бұрын

    Unfortunately mixed in amongst the toxic people 😏. Study up on how to spot people's toxic traits. I wish you success in finding good people in the world 🌎. Stay safe.✌🏼🕊️♾️💕

  • @elenarae_

    @elenarae_

    Ай бұрын

    I'm here. There are still a lot of nice people left. ❤

  • @NatureFreak1127

    @NatureFreak1127

    Ай бұрын

    @@elenarae_ Yeah... I am in a town of 400 000 people and I am single 32 F. I find making friends here so hard. There isn't that much going on either. But there are some expat groups and I happen to be one, so hopefully... Also, there will be volunteering events soon. Wish me luck. And thank you for your kind words, guys. ❤️

  • @maevebutler4641
    @maevebutler46413 ай бұрын

    Thank you for this excellent video with DrRamini She is a pioneering warrior who has educated so many people & helped them heal from Narcissistic abuse I have binged watched her videos & podcasts for years & am more than grateful for her blessed presence on this earth! Thank you

  • @andrewhancock2451
    @andrewhancock24512 ай бұрын

    Two topics of this "podcast" stood out for me, which I haven't found anywhere else. First is the clear expectation that an adult is responsible for their own narcissism, regardless how it arose. It is no one else's responsibility to justify it. Second is how it is systematically normalized in some cultures and cloaked as obligation and responsibility. For the second topic, however, some of the prominent traits of narcissism may be absent (e.g., deceit) because the underlying problem is cultural expectations.

  • @LucyTheBlackCat
    @LucyTheBlackCat3 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani is a visionary 🙏🏽

  • @sarahdonofrio6732
    @sarahdonofrio67323 ай бұрын

    Dr. Ramani, is such a brilliant woman. I have so much respect for her and her work. Thank you for the great interview!

  • @dev77712
    @dev777123 ай бұрын

    Thank Dr. R. for sharing your message with us all. Great conversation Andre, thank you!

  • @dianedeclare8541
    @dianedeclare85413 ай бұрын

    From Vancouver BC Canada I have pre-ordered Doctor there's book entitled, it's not you. And I cannot wait because she always clears the mud of confusion that narcissistic tendencies. And the people behind them create i🎉n us when the narcissist will not accept responsibility for their own control manipulation downright meanness. They are like chess players who have to be the winner.

  • @EzraMsic
    @EzraMsic3 ай бұрын

    I really loved this chat, hopefully you'll bring her again. I feel blesed being able to listen to her wise words.❤

  • @staceystrukel1917
    @staceystrukel19173 ай бұрын

    I loved all of this! The jealous part hit home. I always wondered why his jealousy made me feel secure. I’ll go do some work to shed that. The yoga part is so true too! It’s hard to teach yoga because people only want to exercise. Thank you for all of your conversations.

  • @usedscar
    @usedscar3 ай бұрын

    So good. So needed. Asking yourself how your treating people is such a great check to understand "selfish" -that word was so shaming. Fantastic interview questions! Thank you.

  • @TheTalisman515
    @TheTalisman5152 ай бұрын

    Growing up as the scapegoat this is eye opening. We need more of this 🙌

  • @sheilawilliams9080
    @sheilawilliams90803 ай бұрын

    My daughter was a very anxious and easily distressed baby. She demonstrated a controlling personality since a toddler and lack of empathy. Very similar to my Narcissistic mother. As she grew up, these traits increased. I did my best to be a loving and supportive mother but its always been a struggle to keep the relationship going when she demanded it be on her terms. I'm sharing my personal experience. Im not interested in the opinions of keyboard warriors looking for outlets for their frustration or blaming/shaming, which are traits of Narcissistic abuse. You will be reported.

  • @AngelaPugliese-zb5oz
    @AngelaPugliese-zb5oz2 ай бұрын

    Oh my, I believe every ear would benefit from listening to this in full. It’s actually liberating, and the tool to shed off guilts, and a tool to freedom. If there were no longer people that would fall into the trap of the narcissist, how could the narcissistic person exist, nobody left to feed on

  • @sharonshrum8693
    @sharonshrum86933 ай бұрын

    Up to 7-8 years old seems to be the most vulnerable states of belief 🙏

  • @ej3493
    @ej34932 ай бұрын

    It took me some years to get rid of a narcissistic friend. He never regretted anything, never apologized , did a lot of gossip against me and everyone else, was abusive, big liar, putting one person against the other , didn't respect people's boundaries, was very selfish and envious,etc . I'm free now.

  • @triawillow1972
    @triawillow19723 ай бұрын

    Thank you again Doctor Ramani! Cant wait for your book "It's Not You" to be released on February 20th! 🎉✨✌🏻💜

  • @Boardwalk_Channel9
    @Boardwalk_Channel93 ай бұрын

    Eye opening!

  • @wambuialice957
    @wambuialice9573 ай бұрын

    Thank you Dr Ramani and Andre for this wonderful session

  • @johnforcillo1267
    @johnforcillo12673 ай бұрын

    I love this woman and her work.

  • @LadyLauraK
    @LadyLauraK3 ай бұрын

    I am so thankful to have found this video! I am just coming off a 5+year relationship with a very skilled Narcissist & I have friends still enduring theirs. I will be sharing Dr. Ramani's link. Thank you! Thank you! 💜

  • @antoniagennimata3296
    @antoniagennimata32963 ай бұрын

    OMG!! Thank you so much for this video!! So much I can relate... It's not me!!! Thank you!!!

  • @coreyrenik6419
    @coreyrenik64193 ай бұрын

    This work is amazing. Gratitude too you both!

  • @demi701
    @demi7012 ай бұрын

    Excellent interview André. Dr Ramani is the best! I resonated with so much of this. It was the "for better, for worse" clause in my marriage vows that kept me hooked into a narcissistic relationship for 33 years...until I did my own research and discovered that I could leave.

  • @NikkiBigger
    @NikkiBigger3 ай бұрын

    Such a good episode ❤ really interesting!

  • @lgonzalvez4919
    @lgonzalvez491921 күн бұрын

    I know exactly and completely related to everything the gaslighting self-doubt self-esteem the hurt .The hope that was really hopeless .I knew I wasn't crazy but I stayed and lived on hope thinking It was going to change.I felt like I was just rowing a boat all alone.I finally got out and finally figured out that nothing was going to change. She is awesome and everythung she is talking about is right on point Wow!!!! OMG everything very intelligent loved❤❤❤❤❤ listening.Thank you .

  • @KilalaFox
    @KilalaFox3 ай бұрын

    Haven't even watched this yet but it couldn't have popped up at a better time.... I know what I am doing for the next 2 hours.

  • @victorvanrijn
    @victorvanrijn3 ай бұрын

    Thank you both for this very enlightening conversation about this topic. I feel a of respect and love for the ability of Andé to ask such well formed questions and his ability to then be a quiet space, powerfully inviting space in which the guests on this podcast are allowed to fully express their unique wisdom to the audience. This is a very beautiful format and has a lot of potential, hopefully reaching everyone who is in need of the empowering information that is being shared. 💜✨🤘🏻👽

  • @irenegryziec8052
    @irenegryziec80523 ай бұрын

    great interview and discussion!

  • @CJoy-ih3hn
    @CJoy-ih3hn2 ай бұрын

    Wonderful work. Thank you. The wisdom of the old ones, my Grandmother and Mother described the “Communal Narcissist” as “Street Angel, house devil”. It was many years ago and then a well known phrase. Seems wise ones were also alert back then 😊

  • @missme3916
    @missme39163 ай бұрын

    Excellent!!!

  • @chinolebron6233
    @chinolebron62333 ай бұрын

    Loved every piece of this! ❤

  • @sharonshrum8693
    @sharonshrum86933 ай бұрын

    Thank you Andre and Dr. Ramani ✨️

  • @stephaffect
    @stephaffect3 ай бұрын

    Andre!! Yes Dr. Ramani !! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @lori6156
    @lori61563 ай бұрын

    It is So necessary to train therapists to Truly understand the damage inflicted by narcissistic people to family friends etc, thank you

  • @djgreg8198
    @djgreg81983 ай бұрын

    Wow... What a fabulous talk Love your diction, too